02x03 - Swapper

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Lilo & Stitch". Aired: September 20, 2003 – July 29, 2006.*
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Continuing where Stitch! The Movie left off, Lilo and Stitch are given the task of collecting the rest of Jumba's missing experiments, changing them from bad to good, and finding the one place where they truly belong.
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02x03 - Swapper

Post by bunniefuu »

Tookie bah waba!

Hao!

Iki bah bah.

Ha ha ha.

♪ I Laila 'o kaua'i la ♪

♪ no malihini ohana ♪

♪ welcome, cousins,
a-come on by ♪

♪ aloha, e komo mai ♪

♪ I Laila 'o kaua'i la ♪

♪ no malihini ohana ♪

♪ welcome, cousins,
a-come on by ♪

♪ aloha, e komo mai ♪

♪ aloha, e komo mai ♪

♪ iki tookie nee hi! ♪

♪ Iki tookie nee hi! ♪

♪ Aka tiki bah bah ♪

♪ aka tiki bah bah ♪

♪ gabba ika tasoopa? ♪

♪ Gabba ika tasoopa? ♪

Ooocha! Chi-ka!

♪ Miki miki coconut ♪

♪ I Laila 'o kaua'i la ♪

♪ no malihini ohana ♪

♪ welcome, cousins,
a-come on by ♪

♪ aloha, e komo mai ♪

♪ aloha, e komo mai ♪

♪ aloha, e komo mai ♪

I did my best, you know,
under the circumstances,

to keep my cool.

But my bond portfolio was
really under-performing.

So I fired my broker.

Hi, guys!

Wanna buy a glass of my aunt
pleakley's famous lemonade?

I think it's safe to say...

no.

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

But I think you'll
really like it.

First it makes
your tongue tingle.

Ahh...

and then it turns
you different colors!

You... are... So... weird!

Come on. Let's get out of here

before we catch
her weird cooties.

Yeah!

Stitch, be honest with me.

Am I weird?

Naga.

Hmm.

I'd like some lemonade, please.

One glass of lemonade
coming right up!

Stitch?

Mmm... mmm!

Bllllb!

I'm sorry,

but my dog drank
all the lemonade.

Oh, he's turning
my favorite color.

Hey, orange is my
favorite color, too!

Really? Most girls like pink.

I hate pink.

Me, too!

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

My name's Victoria.

I have to stop
talking to you now.

Why? 'Cause...

After your vacation you'll
just leave with your family

like all the others.

So even though I sometimes
take pictures of tourists,

I don't see them socially.
It's a defense mechanism.

But I'm not a tourist.
I just moved here.

Moved? Ok, I can talk to you.

I'm lilo.

Hi, lilo. So... Do
you take hula?

Are you kidding?
Hula is my life!

I'm starting hula
class tomorrow.

Maybe I'll see you there.

Oh, you will.

Ok. Well, bye.

I mean aloha.

Preparing to transport
experiment .

Send it immediately!

What does it do again?

Experiment swaps the
minds of any individuals.

Well, don't just stand
there. Send it to me!

Uh... we appear to be
having technical difficulties.

If I can just... Oops.

Why are you oopsing at me,
you overly large lard bucket?

Well, sir, the experiment,
apparently, it has... Ahem...

Escaped.

Escaped?! Once
again, I reiterate,

you are the lamest...

Why don't I just fire you and...

And... and... What
is going on here?

I'm so large and rubbery!

Eehh! A big fluffy rat!

Wait... no! That's me!

You mean... I have become you?

And you've become me!

Ah-choo!

Why are you making
such annoying noises?

Apparently, I'm allergic
to your dander, sir.

Ah-choo! But not to worry.

I'm sure the experiment can
swap us back to our normal bodies.

No! Come back here!

Buttons... too... tiny!

Oh! How do you do anything with
these flabby, sloth-like appendages?

Once again, I am forced to
pay for your incompetence!

Now I must go and capture
that experiment myself!

Yes, sir. Then you
can swap us back?

Yes. Or maybe... No!

For me, that would
mean going back to prison!

Well, yes, I suppose it...

Ah-choo... would.

Ah ha ha ha! I'm free at last!

But sir, that's not fair!

Who cares about fair?

Can you believe it, stitch?

A new kid.

We never have a new kid.

Well... did aunt pleakley's
famous lemonade

sell like hot pies?

That's hotcakes. And
stitch drank the profits.

Aah! What's happening to him?

Hee hee hee!

I see uncle jumba's
secret ingredient

worked like charm, eh?

Did you add something evil

to aunt pleakley's
famous lemonade?

What evil?

Changing colors is
big fun for little children.

Aloha, lilo.

Aloha, Victoria.

Is your dog still
turning colors?

Uh, no. For him, blue is normal.

Hey, Victoria.

You should come
hang out with us.

That way you won't
get any weirdlo cooties.

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

She's weird?

Weirder than weird!

She's a freak!

Lilo, you haven't eaten a thing,

and I made your favorite...

Chocolate green bean surprise.

There is hardly any
radioactivity this time.

You didn't! Not again?

Ah, relax. I'm joking.

Mostly.

Well, lilo didn't think it was
funny, and I didn't either.

Please. Little girl is sad because you
managed to ruin perfectly good chocolate

with disgusting green beanses.

I'm not sad because of the food.

I'm sad... Because I
almost made a friend

who doesn't think I'm weird

and myrtle ruined it.

Whoo! Thank goodness.

I thought it was something
serious like my green bean recipe.

Uh... I mean... You almost
made a friend today?

That's nice.

Everybody thinks I'm weird.

Myrtle, and keika,
Teresa, and Elena.

I thought maybe Victoria would
think I was normal and be my friend.

It's never too late
to make a friend.

You just need to
reach out to her

and show her you can
be a friend right back.

Hmm?

I guess I could throw a
welcome party for her.

Did you say party?
I'm all about parties!

What's the theme?

I've got a theme.

Lilo's... not... weird!

Hmm. Lilo's not weird.

I'm not sure that's a good
theme, because, objectively,

you are pretty...

Pretty!

You are so pretty!

Oh, so pretty and witty!

Hey, so lilo's not
weird is the theme then!

I have some great
non-weird recipes.

And we can get supplies from
that exciting new super-store

just outside of town.

They have incredible
party-platters at incredible prices!

It's official. We're
throwing a party!

Yea, yea, yea, yea, yea, yea!

Ok. We have lots of stuff to
do before the party tonight.

We need decorations,
a party platter,

and I need to get a haircut.

What's the matter, stitch?

Do you hear something?

Cousin!

One of your cousins? Here?

Cousin!

Cousin?

Good job.

Stitch?

Stitch! What's happening?

Maka maka no waka!

Oh, no! I'm you and you're me!

What happened?

How come I'm you?

Cousin!

But I can't be
you for the party.

That would be so not normal.

Make 'em swap us back, stitch.

Ahem. Camisatoontuka?

Pffft!

Ow, ow, ooh!

Stitch, you can't try to
break stuff when you're me.

I'm not built for
mayhem and destruction.

We gotta talk to jumba.

But if we go back now, we won't
have time to shop for the party.

We're gonna have to
split up to do our chores.

Ohh! Okutaka!

Just tell 'em to take a
little off the ends, ok?

I'll come back and get you
after I buy the party platter.

Ok.

Stitch!

Try to act like a biped.

Sorry.

Hee hee! Whee!

Oh!

Oh! Wow!

Hey.

Can I help you with something?

Mmm... I need... A... Haircut!

Well, go on, then. Take a seat.

Now, what do you
want done today?

Uh... a little...

Here, you look through this
and show me what you want.

Mmm. Naga. Naga.

Naga!

Ooh! Look at this!

Uh... you sure about this, brah?

Oh, yeah!

All right. You asked for it.

All right, let's see.

Sodas, chips, and
deluxe party platter.

Should be no problem.

Sorry, doggy.
Can't come in here.

What's so funny?

Doggy!

What is that?

Whoa!

I'm looking at a
in aisle .

Uh-oh.

Hey, wait a minute!

Cool!

Come here, you!

Hey, this is fun!

Whoa... whoa!

They'll never find me here.

Gotcha!

... ... ! Oof!

It didn't even hurt.

It's like being an
indestructible zombie!

Stitch, the theme of the
party is lilo's not weird.

I can't show up with that hair

because that hair is weird!

Sorry.

All my fault.

It's ok.

I'll just wear a hat and
serve peanut butter and jelly,

because there's
no party platter.

Just as long as we get
our own bodies back.

Well, well, well.
Experiment ,

we meet again.

Ah, ah, ah!

None of your tricky
trickiness with jumba.

Jumba likes evil genius brain.

We kinda figured
out what his power is.

He's a brain swapper, right?

He once swapped me
and wife for an entire month.

You must have learned
a lot about each other.

Oh, yeah. Now she's ex-wife.

Long story. Don't ask.

We've gotta get
him to swap us back.

will swap you back
when he is good and ready.

Has mind of his own.

Ha ha! Mind of his own!
Hee hee. Is funny, no?

No. The guests
for Victoria's party

are gonna be here any minute.

I can't be stuck
in stitch's body!

Well, I've done it again!

I made the galaxy's
best lemon bars!

Jumba, how many
times must I tell you

to pick up your laundry
and put it in the hamper?

... no!

Oh, no! I've been zapped
into an alternate dimension!

A place where the
laws of time and space

are topsy-turvy!

Don't be ridiculous!

Our minds have been swap-ped.

You are seeing world through
my infinitely superior eyes.

Superior? But the
world looks so...

Weird!

And to tell you
the truth, tubby!

Bahhf.

At least I can see
difference between

near and far... whaa!

Stupid single eye.

The guest of honor is here,
and we're all brain-swapped!

That's as weird as weird can be!

Ok, everybody.

Act like your normal selves.

Well, not your normal selves.

But the other
person's normal self.

Pleakley, what are you doing?

I can't see a thing with
all these eyes of yours.

There, that's much better.

You think my eyes are problems?

How you can walk with
legs in dress with only one eye

is beyond me... oohoww!

We're gonna have to work harder

to fit in with the
lilo's not weird thing.

Well, go ahead. Answer the door.

Oh, wait.

Go ahead.

Hi, lilo.

Oh, uh, hi.

Ok, weirdlo,

we weren't planning
on coming to your party

till we heard the theme.

Start proving you're not weird.

Uh, ok. Refreshments?

Did someone say refreshments?

I made fabulous lemon
bar... Uh, lemon blobs.

Well, you could
at least try them.

You must be aunt pleakley

of aunt pleakley's
famous lemonade.

Why, yes. Yes, I am.

Guilty. Ha ha ha.

Huh. Anyone in weirdlo's family

is probably just
as weird as her.

Victoria, you should stick
with the cool people in town

before you get downgraded.

You take that back!

My family's not weird,

and you wouldn't know
cool if it b*at you on the neck

like a vampire!

I mean, heh heh, woof.

Ah, this is inconceivable!

I am Dr. Jacques
Von hamsterviel!

How is it that I cannot find

one stupid little experiment?!

Here you go, buddy.

Chin up, big guy.

I'm sure it'll get better.

Aah!

Hello?

It is I!

I knew you'd call.

Unf! All right, I admit it!

It isn't easy being
so big and clumsy!

There! Are you happy now?

Getting there. What do you want?

I want to know how we can
find that stupid experiment

so we can swap bodies again!

I know just the place
you should check.

Ah-choo!

I know. Let's play a game.

Do you have a cold or something?

You sound awful.

Uh, yes. A... a cold. Very sick.

Ah-choo! Ah-choo!

Ew! Stay away from
me with your germs!

This party's a disaster!

We have to do something.

Ha ha. Um, I know.

Hello!

Hey, I... I do special hula now.

♪ La la la la ♪

♪ la la la la ♪

♪ la la ♪

Huh?

Unh!

Oh, that does it.

You're the weirdliest
weirdlo in weird town.

We're out of here.
Come on, Victoria.

But I'm having fun.

Boy, did you ever
say the wrong thing.

We don't even wanna
associate with anybody

who actually has fun with lilo.

Right, girls?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Greetings,
earthling half people.

I have come for the
experiment known as .

Whoa!

Megonala! Quista!

Ah! New roofing
system I installed

working perfectly.

Keeps repair bills down.

Very thoughtful.

Unh! Unh! Unh!

Stitch, let me do that.

You take care of the experiment.

Whoa, this is so easy.

I got you a present,
you big dummy.

Ouch! This nose is so large...

And yet so sensitive.

Whoa!

Ok, now who am I?

You are me, and I am .

Ah, this is much better.

Now I shall relieve you
of that pesky experiment!

Hey, that's not
gantu. It's hamsterviel.

They must have got swapped, too.

Komigo!

Chachuka tariso!

Aah! My eyes!

Can't see! Burning acid! Aah!

Not acid. Just the
galaxy's best lemon blobs.

Also useful for
blinding bad guys.

Well, I think we
saved from...

Gantu or hamsterviel or, um...

Hey! I'm me again!

Me, too, am me!

Ah! Sweet quadrilocular
vision. Ah ha ha ha ha ha.

Please! Put me
back in my own body!

Put me back in prison!

If you insist.

Stitch, would you do the honors?

After swaps him back,
we'll find his one true place.

But will not
swap back Willy-nilly.

Must be properly motivated.

Unh.

Well, wait a minute. Why
not try a little positive incentive

like offering the little guy

some of my delicious
cuisine as a reward?

Excellent, my dear.

If does not swap
hamsterviel and gantu,

he will be given nothing to eat

except aunt pleakley's famous
chocolate green beans surprise.

Aahohh!

Must you twist everything?

Hi, lilo. I had to
go home for dinner.

That was the funnest party

anyone's ever thrown for me.

You're kidding, right?

No way.

But that party
was totally weird.

Don't you think I'm weird?

Well, maybe a little.

I knew it.

I like weird. Weird
is interesting.

I mean, I'm even
weirder than you are.

You're not weird. You're cool.

I have a collection
of potato chips

in the shapes of celebrities

from the s.

Really?

I'll show it to you
sometime if you like.

Cool!

By the way, I like your hair.
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