04x10 - Still the Beavers

[bunniefuu]

( Theme music playing )

- Hi stephanie.

You've only got
one slipper on.

- That stupid bird
woke me up at dawn

So I threw my slipper at it.

Why can't wildlife sleep in?

- What kind of bird was it?

- It had a speckled front
and rings around its eyes.

- Oh, that's a hermit thrush.

You shouldn't throw
things at a songbird.

- George, I would have thrown
something at diana ross

If she'd been singing
in my tree.

I better go find
my other slipper.

- Morning, george.

- Morning, d*ck.

Can I borrow a suitcase?

I've won a trip.

- Congratulations.
Where to?

- How does the large-mouth
bass bonanza sound?

- Sounds like I won't be
wanting the suitcase back.

How'd you win it?

- I was one of the beavers

That sold the most night
crawlers in our charity drive.

- Ah, bet the girl scouts
wish they'd have

Thought of that before
they got into that cookie thing.

I'll get you that suitcase.

- Ah, thanks.

- George, what did you mean
when you said

I shouldn't throw things
at a songbird?

- Well, songbirds
are protected by law.

There's a serious punishment
for k*lling them.

So did you find
your other slipper?

- Nope.

- There you go, george.
- Ah, thanks, d*ck.

I know you're not
into large meetings

But you're in for some fun
if you drop by tonight.

They're going to post the names

Of the top night crawler
salesmen

And my name's gonna be up there.

- Sorry, george, but I'm afraid
if I saw that list,

The rest of my life
would seem drab.

- I understand.

- d*ck, honey, don't forget

To finish
up your work early tonight.

This thursday we're gonna try
out that folk dancing class.

- Damn it.

I wish you'd
reminded me earlier.

I just promised george I'd go

To the beaver lodge meeting
tonight.

- d*ck, you never go
to those meetings.

- I do when there's a list.

- Boy, a beavers meeting.

Here's your mug, d*ck.

I don't see
how you can stay away

From all this the way you do.

- George, it really hasn't been
that long since I've been here.

- Hey, hey, hey!

Nice to see you, loudon.

( Laughing )
must be having trouble at home.

- There's that list.

Okay, d*ck, get ready
to read my name.

It's not on there.

- Why not?

- Well, here's the problem.

I never even heard of this guy,
lionel.

- Oh, he's a real nice guy.

He and I do the same thing
for a living.

We're both looking for work.

- How much bait
did lionel sell?

- Well, there again we're cut
from the same cloth.

None.

But in all fairness, he wasn't
allowed to participate.

He's not a beaver.

He's buck's brother-in-law.

- Who's buck?

- Buck's our chair beaver.

- But, george,
you're not on the list

And the chair beaver's
brother-in-law is.

He didn't sell worm one.

- Take it easy, d*ck.

I'm sure there's
a logical explanation.

Buck?

- George!

- Can I talk to you a second?

About that list.

- Oh, george, I really
want to thank you.

- For what?
- For just being you.

There'd be no living
with my wife if her kid brother

Didn't get to go on that trip.

"Who," I kept saying,
"who is going to be

Sensitive enough to let lionel
go in his place without a fuss?"

- Me?

- Nobody else
was in the running.

- Wow, thanks, buck.

I owe you one.

- Let's go, boys.

- George,
I don't believe this.

- Yeah.

Buck doesn't hand out
compliments easily.

- Meeting is in order.

Wally will read
last week's minutes.

- George, how can you
let them con you like this?

I mean, you were
so excited about that trip.

- That's when
I thought I was going.

- The first order of business
tonight is to decide whether

We're gonna get the furnace
fixed this winter

Or to buy one of them
fancy new keg tappers.

All those in favor
of the furnace,

Raise your hand.

- George, you deserve that trip
more than anybody.

- Leave it alone, d*ck.

The beavers never do anything
without a real good reason.

- All those in favor
of the keg tapper?

( Chattering )

Keg tapper has it.

Is there any further business?

- George.

- Okay, then I move we adjourn,
hit the beer

And drink a toast
to the bass bonanza ten.

all those in favor.
all together: aye!

- I've been cheated.

I sold dozen worms
and you're letting some guy's

Brother-in-law go
on that trip in my place.

You beavers are
pig-fat slime-buckets.

- George.
- No more coaching, d*ck.

I can handle it from here.

- Ah, loudon
put you up to this.

- So what if he did.
Let me say my piece.

- Okay.

Okay.

Let's be fair about this.

Now beavers, would you rather
continue the meeting

With a lengthy debate
or adjourn and drink beer?

All together:
beer!

- Motion carried.
Meeting adjourned.

- Hey, hey, hey!

This stinks on ice.

If that's the way
you're gonna treat a brother--

- George, george, don't say
something you're gonna regret.

- I quit.

- Something like that.

- Wildlife commission?

I was having a discussion
with one of my girlfriends

About things
like hair streaking,

Leg waxing and songbirds.

And I was telling her how
it's not that big a deal

To k*ll a songbird--

Oh, it is?

Even if it didn't sing
very well?

Well, I can't believe you
enforce a silly law like that

And allow people who paint
bullfighters on velvet

To go scot-free.

- Hi, stephanie.
Stephanie: hi.

- d*ck?

Honey,
do the beavers blame you

Because george quit the lodge?

- Why do you ask?

- Well, I found this
melted mug in the mailbox.

- Well, they're either mad at me

Or this belongs
to a guy named "yick."

- Hi.
I'm larry.

This is my brother darryl,

And this
is my other brother darryl.

- Hi. I'm joanna
and this is my husband yick.

- Make a note, darryl.

I guess we had that wrong.

- Miss stephanie, we was down
at the town dump,

Window shopping, and we came
upon your slipper.

- How do you know
it belongs to me?

- By the delicate scent.

- Thank you.

- Say no more.

Bye, miss stephanie.

Yick.

- Stephanie, what was your
slipper doing at the dump?

- Just because
you're my employer

Does not give you
the right to pry

Into the whereabouts
of my footwear.

- d*ck, I've got
a proposition for you.

Oh, my gosh.

Look what they did
to your mug.

- It's okay, george,
I don't mind.

- I do.
Mug melting used to be my job.

Look at that, yick.

If I'd done it,
it would have said "blecky."

- It's a dying art.

- Well, I'm putting
the beavers behind me.

I wouldn't go back
if they got down

On their knees and begged.

Besides the rule states
that once you leave

You can never go back.

- Well, I'm glad you've outgrown
all that childishness.

- Yeah, I'm starting
my own lodge.

i'm putting flyers
all over town.

The first meeting
is thursday night.

I'd be honored
if you'd be there.

- I'd be relieved
if I didn't have to.

- d*ck, honey.

I got us both dancing outfits.

You want to try yours on
to see how it looks?

- Honey, I can see
how that looks through a wall.

- Well, I had so much fun
the other night

That I signed us up
for classes every thursday.

This week is
"a night in mazatlan."

- Damn it!
- What?

- Thursday, that's
the night my new lodge meets.

Joanne:
what?

- If everyone
would please sit down.

This meeting is now in order.

- Uh, george?
- Please, please.

We can't have mob rule here.

- ( Clearing throat )
not by any stretch

Of the imagination.

- Okay.

People are finally
starting to pile in.

Welcome, harley.

- Thanks.
But I can't stay long.

There's a beaver meeting
in progress

And they don't know I'm gone.

Got to get back
before they come to.

- Harley, if you were
afraid of being found out,

Why did you bother
to come over here?

- Well, a fellow
looking for work

Needs as many fraternal
organizations as he can join.

By the way, prospective
fraternal brother--

- No.
No, harley, no.

- Oh, maybe I'll have more
luck with some of the others.

- The floor is now open

For discussion on a name
for this club.

- How about
"you, me and harley"?

I'd like to make a motion
that we face reality.

We're not a lodge,
we're a trio.

- Well, even so, if the
three of us have a good time,

Word of mouth will spread
like wildfire.

( Counter bell )

- I'm sorry, I have a guest.

I'll tell 'em about
the good time we're having here

And get the wildfire started.

- Gee, I'd better be getting
to my other meeting.

The disciplinary committee

Is the first
to regain consciousness.

- Well, it's getting late.

I move we adjourn.

Better yet,
I move we disband.

Motion carried.

- Hi, d*ck.

Is cupcake ready
for our midday munch?

- I think cupcake is
still blow drying her frosting.

Michael, I wonder
if you could do me a favor.

- A favor?

As in I wash your hands
and you wash mine?

- No, as in
you wash my hands and that's it.

- You've never asked me
for a favor before, d*ck.

I'll say it, I'm touched.

What's in it for me?

- I'll pay for your lunch.

- Deal. Now what do you want me
to do for you

Of a value not to exceed lunch?

- Well, as you know,

George quit the lodge
and he's been trying

To start up a new lodge
but it fell apart.

And george is heartbroken.

- Can we cut to the chase,
d*ck?

- I think he needs help
with his advertising.

Here's the flyer he sent out.

- "New lodge probably meets
thursday nights.

Come if you want.
If not, I understand."

I can improve on this, d*ck.

- Great.

- Hey, michael.

- Steph,
great news about lunch.

Forget quiche.

We're upgrading to squab.

- What do you mean by that?

Why don't you
just come out and ask it,

Do I want to eat a dead bird?

- If I said "lobster" would that
unjangle those nerves?

- That's better, michael.

- Whoa! I'll have to remember
that magic word

Next time she's out of sorts.

Lobster.

- Miss stephanie, you'd lose
that dainty little head of yours

If it wasn't attached
to your spinal column

By a mass of ganglia.

We was taking a bath

And look
what washed up on the bank--

Your slipper.
- Aghh!

- Steph, lobster!

Lobster!

- Hi, d*ck.

Here's the media blitz
for george's membership drive.

I've really outdone myself.

For a moment,
even I felt like joining

The stupid thing.

- Gee, brochures,
bumper stickers.

George!

Michael, this is more
than I expected.

Thank you.
- Oh, no thanks needed, d*ck.

Believe me,
I feel I've been paid.

Oh, by the way,
here's my lunch bill.

It's that champagne
that put it into three digits.

- You wanted something, d*ck?

- Michael put together

An ad campaign
for your new lodge.

- You're too late.
My lodge and my life are over.

- Oh, yeah?

Read 'em and stop weeping.

I posted these flyers
all over town.

- "First came 'first blood,'
then 'rambo,'

Now 'george's lodge.'"

Wow!

- What?

- They did come in that order,
d*ck.

- "Big meeting thursday.

Door prizes, a color tv."

Wow!

- Wait a minute, we aren't
giving away a color tv.

- It doesn't say
we're giving one away.

It just says there'll be one.

( Laughing )

- "See the car
from 'knight rider.'"

Wow!
- What?

- This is america, d*ck,
where everyone expects

Less than what's advertised.

We can't let them down.

- "International cuisine
furnished

By the owners
of the stratford inn."

Yum!

- Well, it's good
they're expecting less

Than what's advertised because
we're not cooking any food.

- Bad move, d*ck.

After the other letdowns,
if you don't come up

With some food
that mob'll trash this place.

- Hey, check this out.

They should have
put you on that flyer.

- Thank you.
I know.

By the way, you're disgusting.

- Excuse me, this gathering

Is only for people
who want to join the lodge.

- That's us.

We need a new clubhouse.

Ours b*rned down
in a fire fight.

- All right, that's
a darn shame.

- Gee, d*ck,
I can't find one person

To sign up for the lodge.

- Looks like
your luck has changed, gramps.

- Hi.
Hi, harley.

- Gee, d*ck,
the car from "knight rider."

I thought
that was just a come-on.

- We couldn't print it
if it wasn't true.

- Boy, this was
worth sneaking out

Of the beavers' meeting for.

- Is miss stephanie
available to hear a tale

Fraught with coincidence?

- Actually, larry, she's kind
of fraught with work right now.

- Oh.

Then I guess
we'll relate it to you.

We was out burying darryl's
underwear in a time capsule

When we happened upon this.

Will you make sure
she gets it?

We hate to think of miss
stephanie's five little piggies

Going wee, wee, wee
all the way home

Without covering.

- Hey, I hear you.

Harley, do something
with that, will you?

- Oh, no, it's the beavers.

- So this is
the stratford dining room

That I'm seeing
for the first time right now?

- What are you guys
doing here?

- George, this town is
not big enough for two lodges.

- Yeah.
Heed the warning.

- Close down or feel
the full wrath of the beavers.

Let's go, men.

- Right now, buck?

It's nice and warm in here.

- Guys, I said the full wrath.

- Boy, I'm kind of hungry.

I think I'll fix myself
a mile-high sandwich.

Oh, look, mortadella.

- Wow, what a spread.

- They even got the car
from "knight rider."

- Boy, now, you know
what would be perfect

To wash this down with?

I think
I'll just step over here

To my fancy new keg tapper

And draw a tall frosty mug
of golden smooth--

- Steady, men.

- Beer.

- Beavers, we're leaving.

- We don't wanna.

- You gotta
if you're a beaver.

- Then I quit.

Where do I sign up
for george's lodge?

- Right here, right next
to the little hotdogs.

- Well, come on, wally.

Looks like you and me.

- Looks like you.
I smell cheese puffs.

- Remember the rules.

If you leave the beavers,
you can never come back.

That's your choice?

- Yeah.

- ( Sighing )
well, I think it's a good one.

Toss me a cheese puff.

- Hey, hey, hey!

- Boy, it's gonna be great
hanging around here

Whenever we feel like it.

- You can only
hang around here

As long as I feel like it,

Which should end
in about half an hour.

- Gee, where will we meet?

- What about
the old beaver lodge?

I hear it's deserted.

- Yeah, but
what'll we call ourselves?

- How about
"the screaming skulls"?

- Well, that's kind of cute.

- How about "the beavers"?

All together:
yeah. Yeah.

- Terrific.

Now all we have to do
is elect a president.

- Hey, hey, what about buck?

He's had experience.

- I second it.

- George,
you're not gonna stand here

And let them elect--
- shut up, d*ck.

All in favor?

All together:
aye!

- d*ck,
one of those g*ng people

Just asked me out on a date.

What should I do?

- Well, to be
perfectly honest, joanna,

I don't think you should go.

- Joanna,
could I quit for the evening?

I get claustrophobic
around this many pot bellies.

- Okay, but would you put out
some extra napkins first?

( Sighing )

( Screaming )

- All right, I confess.

I did it.

I didn't mean to
but he was tormenting me.

Chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp,
chirp, chirp

'Til I thought I'd go mad.

So I grabbed my slipper
and I dropped him.

That's right,
I k*lled a songbird.

I just hope you can
find it in your hearts

To please, please,
please forgive me.

( Music playing )

- Miaow!