06x21 - Gamers Never Say Die

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

[DOOR SLAMS]

MORDECAI: Rigby.

Aah! Don't do that!

Dude, stop sleeping with your

eyes open. It's creepy.

Whatever. It's totally

natural-- Oh, what?

A Tonare console!

Where did you get this?

I found it

in my parents' house.

And look what else I found.

What?

Tim and Mark's Golden Badge

Secret Adventure!

We never got past level

because we didn't know

how to play video games.

Oh, I bet we can get past

level now.

Oh, I bet we can b*at

the whole game right now.

Plus, it's Saturday, so

we won't even get in trouble.

[♪♪♪]

WOMAN [OVER TV]:

♪ Tonare ♪

BOTH:

So many memories.

[BEEPING]

Hm-hm. This is only

gonna take minutes tops.

What's that?

Dude, it's the final boss.

We're gonna b*at it.

One...

Two...

Three!

BOTH:

Whoa!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah!

Huh?

[GASPS]

It's legendary game designer

Maury Moto.

MAN [OVER TV]:

Congratulations.

[MAN READS ONSCREEN TEXT]

Whoa, wait!

They're real?

Golden game badges are real?

Take a picture.

We gotta save the map.

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]

Oh, man! The pixels

make it look all weird.

What are we gonna do?

Skips!

Yeah?

Do you know some kind of

magical ritual thing we can use

to bring the TV with us

and keep it on?

You got a car battery?

[♪♪♪]

Whoa.

Skips, do you have

any other magic tricks

that can take us to

this address?

You got any gas money?

[♪♪♪]

Good to go. Thanks, Skips.

Hey, I had some free time.

It's a Saturday.

[HORN HONKS]

BOTH: Hm-hm.

Okay.

So the map starts here.

It says we need to look for

a lighthouse.

I don't see

a lighthouse.

Wait. What about

that hot-dog stand?

RIGBY [GASPS]:

It totally matches.

Awesome.

Then that means

we have to go to...

This blob here.

Blob, blob, blob,

blob, blob, blob, blob,

blob. Blob!

BOTH:

The mall!

[♪♪♪]

Hm. It's time

to go shopping.

Two centimeters short.

Looks like I just booked

a ticket to the hardware store.

[CLICKS]

[SIGHS]

[SIGHS]

Let's just see what the problem

is and go from there.

[♪♪♪]

Mordecai and Rigby!

[ECHOING]

Rigby!

Actually,

this is kind of dark.

Hey, do you wanna sign

this petition

to help fund stronger--

Uh, no!

RIGBY:

Now where are we supposed

to go? This mall's huge.

I'm surprised there's

enough foot traffic

to sustain it

out here in the boonies.

Let me ask the game.

[GAME BEEPING]

If you found

the village store,

follow your heart

for paces

to reveal the next step

in your journey.

BOTH:

Hmm...

[PEOPLE LAUGHING,

CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]

[BOTH GASP]

Follow your heart

for paces!

But that's through

the food court.

I have an old trick

for situations like this.

'Scuse me! Sorry!

Need to go in a straight line.

Sorry. Sorry.

Whoops! Look out!

What?

Huh?

Dead end?

This machine doesn't even work.

How many paces have you gone?

How many whats?

[GROANS]

Excuse me. Are you

listening to me? Hello!

I'm looking for two guys

who came through here--

A tall one and a short one.

Sure. Those guys

come here every day.

[IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]

Oh, no, I bet he means

those guys with the TV.

[IN DEEP VOICE]

We saw them headed toward

the mall.

You know, I have

extra car batteries.

I could just give you one.

No, Skips.

This is between them and I.

Me and them?

Which one is it?

Them and me.

I'm going to a movie.

Have fun doing your thing.

All right, dude.

Three, two, one.

BOTH:

Hologram wall!

Wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah!

[BOTH GRUNT]

[GROANING]

Well, that was my last idea.

This is hopeless.

Wait. Shh. Listen.

[DRIPPING]

Do you hear that?

[♪♪♪]

Do you think?

It's Maury Moto's

Secret Passage!

BENSON:

Hey, have you seen two guys

with a TV?

Sure.

They were headed toward

the food court.

You wanna sign

this petition

to help fund stronger

clipboards?

Of course.

[GASPS]

Go, go, go, go!

[♪♪♪]

[CREAKS]

Warn me

if you're gonna rip one.

I always warn you.

Those are the rules.

[CREAKING]

[BOTH SCREAMING]

[BOTH GRUNT]

[BOTH GROANING]

BOTH: Huh?

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

BOTH:

Whoa!

[♪♪♪]

This mall must be like

years old.

Man, smells like

a newt cage in here.

You've been smelling a lot

of stuff lately.

Yeah,

I just got over a cold,

so everything's

jumping out at me.

[CLICKS]

[BOTH GASP]

Run!

[BOTH SCREAM]

Up, up, up, up, up, up, up!

[BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY]

[DARTS WHISTLING]

Aah!

[CLICKS]

Dude, stop stepping on

booby traps.

[MACHINERY CLUNKS]

[BOTH SHOUT]

[BOTH GASP]

Oh, whoa.

[♪♪♪]

It's a game store.

RIGBY:

Yeah, except they only have

lousy games left.

Blech.

Weary travelers.

[BOTH GASP]

Thou seeketh

the Golden Riches of Ondor?

Uh, no.

What are you

doing here?

I thought you were working

at that other place.

The Eggscelent Diner

is no more.

There is much turnover in

the relic-guarding business.

So what is it you seek,

Mordecai of the omelet?

Maury Moto's

golden game badge.

Ah, of course.

If thou seeketh

the golden game badge,

you must travel

the high road.

Okay, cool.

But heed our policy!

One must not be greedy.

Only one relic per customer.

Okay, got it.

Thanks, man.

Uh, so who is

that guy?

The fallen heroes of old

await you, doomed adventurers.

[♪♪♪]

[RAT SQUEAKING]

Still cold.

Just like my

online-dating profile.

[BOTH GASP]

BOTH:

They were real.

[BENSON SCREAMS, THUDS]

BENSON: Oh, darn it!

Dude, hurry!

Benson's gonna catch us!

But I don't see anything!

This door doesn't even have

a handle. This door blows.

Maybe it's some kind

of light thing.

Aah!

Okay, maybe not.

Mordecai, look!

It's a cartridge slot.

But that means we'd have

to shut off the game!

[BEEPS]

MAN [OVER TV]:

My guidance ends here.

Your instincts have served you

thus far.

Trust in them,

and your destiny awaits.

[BEEPS]

Hmm.

[MACHINERY CLICKS]

Okay, wait.

[BLOWS SHARPLY]

[INHALES DEEPLY]

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

[BOTH GASP]

[♪♪♪]

I have never seen a place

as cool as this.

Dude, look.

It's him.

Maury Moto.

Dude, I think

we should say something.

Uh...

[CLEARS THROAT]

Maury Moto,

your games...

[SNIFFLES]

Then that part

where you jump up.

Invisible block,

power-up comes out.

Like, my world was changed.

Thanks, man.

Thanks.

Oh. Huh.

Nice.

[RUMBLING]

What? No!

But we only took

one per customer.

Ha!

Really ought to

re-insulate that.

You two!

I can't believe

you stole my car battery

for a couple stupid

fabric patches!

Uh, first off,

these are badges.

Yeah, rare

golden game badges.

They're, like,

priceless.

Oh, well,

if they're so valuable,

I could just buy

a new battery with--

MORDECAI & RIGBY:

No!

[ALL SCREAM]

What do we do?

I don't know!

Into the light!

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[SEAGULL SQUAWKS]

This has been

the longest day of my life.

First the sprinklers

were too short.

The next thing I know,

I'm climbing into

some abandoned mall.

And then there were

those gibbons. Heh, heh.

I had to talk to

some crazy old knight

and punch through

a wall, and--

Man,

that was really something.

Dude, if you wanted to

hang out with us so bad,

you could have just asked.

[GUM BALLS RATTLE]

Give me those stupid patches.

MORDECAI:

Aw, come on.

Holy-- Hey, look!

[♪♪♪]

Thank you,

Mordecai and Rigby,

for setting me free

with your kinds words.

BOTH:

Awesome.

Now you've unlocked the map

to find the Crystal Trackball

of Infinity.

[ENERGY CHIMES]

BOTH:

What?

Skips,

drive away right now!

MORDECAI:

Aw, man.

[♪♪♪]