06x31 - Dumped at the Altar

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Regular Show". Aired: September 6, 2010 – January 16, 2017.*
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Series revolves around the daily lives of two 23-year-old friends – Mordecai (a blue jay) and Rigby (a raccoon) – who work as groundskeepers at a park, and spend their days trying to avoid work and entertain themselves by any means.
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06x31 - Dumped at the Altar

Post by bunniefuu »

[♪♪♪]

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

Hmm.

So how are things with C.J.

now that Margaret's admitted

she has feelings for you?

Pssh. I don't know.

Pretty weird.

Mm! Mm-hmm.

I actually haven't

even seen her very much.

She's had friends visiting

from out of town,

so we haven't had

the chance to talk.

It's awkward.

♪ A ringtone! ♪

♪ Pick up your phone ♪

Don't be afraid

of your feelings.

Thanks.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey.

What's up?

Mm, not much.

How are you?

Good. Good.

[GROANS]

Do you guys have

a lot to do today?

Yeah, Muscle Man's

wedding's tonight,

so we're gonna

be pretty busy.

What time

are you getting here?

Probably right

before the ceremony.

Cool. Cool.

Well, cool. I guess

I'll see you later, then.

Definitely.

I'll see you later.

See, it's awkward.

Well, what are you gonna do?

I don't know.

It's fine.

Dude.

I'm fine! What?

Okay, you're fine.

Okay, Muscle Bro's

on his way with the tuxes.

Skips, you've got

the ice sculpture covered.

[GASPS]

Our horn of plenty!

Let's see. What else?

Can I just take a minute

to tell you guys something?

If you were to ask me

to assemble a team

of the best wedding planners

I could find,

a team more potent

than the sum of its parts,

each wheel turning

independently, yet together--

[CRYING]

[WAILING]

ALL:

Whoa, Muscle Man!

Oh, no, bro! Oh, no!

I'm sorry!

I didn't think

I'd be this emotional,

but it's been a wild ride

since about in the morning.

Don't worry about it,

Muscle Man.

We expected this.

[SNIFFLES]

You guys...

[SQUEALS]

I meant what

I said about the...

[WAILS]

[LAUGHS]

All right.

Let's get this guy

married, people!

[♪♪♪]

Fifty-seven. Fifty-eight.

Fifty-eight? Dude!

[IMITATING g*nf*re]

[IMITATES expl*si*n]

[LAUGHS]

Man, come on!

Why do you always do that?

♪ A ringtone!

Pick up your phone ♪

Ah! Ooh!

Oh, man.

♪ Ping, ping, ping, beep

Beep, beep, boop, a ringtone! ♪

Hey, Margaret.

Margaret? Is she coming

to the wedding, too?

Go away!

[LAUGHS]

I am coming

to the wedding.

Sorry.

Rigby was just

not setting up chairs.

That actually sounds a lot

better than what I'm doing.

Starla's turning out to be a

pretty high-maintenance bride.

Oh, I feel like

a stuffed sausage!

Where's Eileen with

my Gas-Be-Gone?

But you asked me to go

get you an iced coffee!

[SIGHS]

I should run, but

I just wanted to say sorry

for what happened

on our double date.

I apologized to C.J. too.

I didn't mean

to make things weird.

It's just--

Yeah, yeah, it's cool.

Well, I'll see you

at the wedding.

[CHAIR SCRAPING]

Uh, yeah. Okay, bye.

Rigby!

Yes.

This is the opposite

of setting up the chairs.

Yeah, but now who dropped out

of art school?

[PEOPLE CHATTERING

INDISTINCTLY]

[♪♪♪]

Margaret, hey!

Hey.

I really like your...shoes.

Uh, w-what would you call

those? Dress shoes?

You look really nice.

[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

These old rags?

Are you an usher?

How about ushing me to my seat?

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

Uh, you can just sit

wherever or whatever.

Okay.

[SIGHS]

Hey, it's good to see you.

Wow, you look amazing.

Thank you.

Heh, this is gonna be fun.

It's gonna be good.

You know, there's a separate

deep-fryer for each table.

What?

That's not acceptable.

I'm gonna need my own!

[BOTH LAUGH]

Sorry about this week.

I've been doing

a lot of thinking, and--

MAN [ON RADIO]:

Mordecai, come in!

Yeah, what's up?

MAN: Things are really bad.

We need backup now!

[SHOUTING]

Dude, what's going on?

It's my wedding day,

and I don't have a letter!

A letter?

From Muscle Dad.

There's no way he would've

forgotten to leave me a letter

for the most important day

of my life!

Did you look in your trailer?

Are you kidding me right now?

[SHOUTS]

Married and broke won't

cover damages, Muscle Man!

Muscle Man,

why don't you sit down?

I'll get you some

electrolytes, okay?

Mordecai and Rigby will go

find your letter for you.

[PANTING]

Yeah, okay.

Write it yourselves

if you have to,

but do not come back

without that letter!

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

Nothin'.

[SCREECHING]

[SCREAMS]

Of course he couldn't

find that letter!

This place is a sty!

He won't get married without it,

so just keep looking!

Ugh! I want to get

this dumb day over with.

I'm gonna look over here.

Hmm.

You okay, dude?

You seem a little on edge.

You and C.J.?

What about us?

You decide what

you're gonna do yet?

What's to decide? I'm with C.J.

We're happy. It's good.

Uh-huh.

What? I said it's fine!

Just leave it!

Besides, no offense, dude,

but what would you know

about relationships anyway?

Well, actually,

smart guy, I-- Eh.

Actually what?

[GRUNTING]

Spill it!

[GRUNTING CONTINUES]

Eileen and I are dating!

[GASPS]

[BAT SCREECHING]

For, like,

a couple of months now!

We have matching bracelets!

Ah, dude, that's crazy! Why

didn't you tell me until now?

We didn't want to shove

our happiness

down your throat too much.

Well, I mean,

I wanted to shove

our happiness down your throat,

but Eileen told me not to.

Ah, dude, I'm happy

too, I swear.

Everything's fine.

Well, okay, but it's just--

The last few months,

I've been really happy,

and I think you deserve

to be happy too, man.

I'm not gonna tell you

what to do, but I will say,

I know you,

and I think you

should go with your gut

for once. Look at me.

I never think things through,

and my life rules!

Ah, sweet,

chocolate milkshake!

Thanks, man,

but it's not that bad.

Besides, relationships

are always complicated.

Eileen and I have

been dating for months,

and you never even noticed.

It doesn't need to be

that complicated.

♪ A ringtone!

Pick up your phone! ♪

You really need

to change that.

We did that

three years ago.

Hey, Fives.

How much time do we have?

Uh...

I do!

[ALL MURMURING]

And do you?

Not much.

Ugh! With all

this junk everywhere,

it could take us years

to find this stupid letter!

[GRUNTS, THEN SCREAMS]

Rigby!

[GASPS]

[FLIES BUZZING]

Ugh! Huh?

[GASPS]

Mordecai!

That's it! Let's go!

...as long as

you both shall live?

Uh, I... I can't!

[ALL GASP]

[ALL MURMURING]

Mitch?

I'm sorry, babe,

but this is

the biggest moment of my life,

and I just can't

go through with it

until I talk to my dad!

We got it! We got it!

[PANTING]

I knew I could

count on you, bros!

[CLEARS THROAT]

"To Muscle Son on his w--

His w--"

[CRYING]

I feel too much!

You got to

read it for me!

Me? Uh, I don't know.

[CRYING]

Okay, okay.

[CLEARS THROAT]

"To Muscle Son

on his wedding day."

MUSCLE DAD:

Son, if you're

reading this letter,

you've accomplished

something very tough.

You found yourself

a copilot

to help navigate

the highway of life.

You do your

old Muscle Dad proud.

Knowing you hitched

the right trailer

to the right rig

is no easy feat.

In any relationship,

it's normal to have doubts,

but when you find yourself

wondering if you made

the right choice, remember

the old Sorenstein rule.

"Trust your gut."

[GASPS]

"It was your gut

that told you you wanted

"to spend the rest of your life

with this woman,

"and it's the same gut

that still fills up

with butterflies when

you make her smile."

MUSCLE DAD:

The Sorensteins have big guts

for a reason, son.

That ain't fat in there.

It's wisdom.

Good luck on your journey,

Muscle Son.

Your dad, Muscle Dad.

[SNIFFLES]

Thanks, Dad.

Pops, let's do this!

Do you, Muscle--

Muscle Dad is right! Finding

the right person is hard.

For a while,

I've been telling myself

there's no such thing

as soul mates,

but now I'm not so sure.

Look at Muscle Man

and Starla.

It's like they were designed

for each other.

So where's my soul mate?

Are they in this room?

It could be anyone.

Maybe it's you.

Maybe it's that really

old lady. I don't know.

Why are you talking?

Oh, uh, right.

My point is, I...

Uh, uh, I don't know

if there's one perfect person

for me, but I know

for a long time,

I've been ignoring my gut.

I didn't wanna hurt anyone,

but instead of

saving their feelings,

it's made everyone

around me miserable.

For the first time,

I'm gonna take Rigby's advice.

C.J.,

I need to tell you--

Mordecai,

just stop!

I know what you're gonna say,

so save it.

I--

You don't know who

your soul mate is?

[SIGHS]

Here.

You didn't even point

in my direction.

[CRYING]

C.J.!

Yo, Mordo, if you're finished

hijacking my wedding,

is it okay

if we get married now?

The sooner

we finish this,

the sooner we can

start up these fryers!

Oh, uh, sorry.

I do.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

[CHEERS]

No!

[♪♪♪]

Hey, man.

How'd it go?

C.J. and I are gonna

take a break for a while.

Sorry, man.

So when I said

"Go with your gut,"

did you hear

"Completely lose your mind

and try to dump your girlfriend

at a wedding"?

That seemed to be

the option you went with.

I told you,

I'm no good at this.

Yeah, you're the worst.

Maybe I'm just not cut out

for this romance junk.

Definitely not.

Okay, I get it.

You have a girlfriend,

and I don't.

Quit rubbing it in.

Well, it'll be

all right, man.

Come on, let's get

you some fried foods.

[♪♪♪]
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