08x21 - The Ice Tape

[bunniefuu]

Aah! Aah! Aah! Nice! Customers! Can I help you?

! No! I want to help you! Guys, guys, it's my turn.

What are you looking for?

Action?

Comedy?

Action comedy?

Sorry, we actually don't know what we're looking for, but this map that Mary Stone gave us says that whatever it is, it's somewhere in this store.

It's gonna be a little hard to know what kind of action comedy to recommend if you don't know what you're looking for.

The Chosen One.

The Chosen One?

Where?

Oh, my.

We have something to show you.

What are they doing?

Duh! They're gonna put Pops' head in that hole to open a secret door.

It's pretty obvious, Benson.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Told you! What's behind the door?

Key to your past.

It's for me.

It's probably a sweet Pops origin story.

Maybe it'll tell us what we're supposed to do next.

Plus, that tape's made out of ice! We totally gotta watch it! Can we use one of your VCRs upstairs?

The tape won't work in any normal VCR.

You must take the tape to the Forbidden Mountain.

There, and only there, may the contents of the tape be revealed to you.

It'll be pretty dangerous, but we'll gladly die to make sure you get there to watch that tape.

Not sure that will be necessary.

Let's roll.

All this Pops "Chosen One" stuff is crazy! I mean, I always thought he was just an old guy.

A nice old guy, but, you know?

Yeah.

I wonder what he really is.

Like, what if Pops isn't Pops at all! What if Pops is a robot?

! Oh! Or what if he's actually a smaller guy piloting a robot?

Yeah, that sounds about right.

We're almost to the mountain, but to get there, we must first cross this frozen lake.

That looks pretty dangerous.

Is there another way?

Well, sure if you wanna go through Magma Lake or Lightning Lake, be my guest.

Those names feel pretty on the nose.

All right.

Guess we'll go across the frozen lake.

That's what I thought.

We must make haste careful haste.

Uh guys?

Ditch the snowmobiles! Run! I'm not gonna make it! No, Joel! It's too late for me! Just jump it! I really think you can make it! Uh I'm not much of a jumper.

You sure you don't wanna at least try?

Well, uh I could give it a try.

Whoa! Oh, man! I forgot to jump! Joel! Now I'm for sure a goner! Just go! Maybe we could make a human chain and pull you out?

But you guys'll be really cold! It really won't be that bad! Okay, that sounds good! L

-Let's try that! Aah! Well we tried.

Let's keep moving.

It was very brave of J

-Joel?

Joel.

Joel to sacrifice himself like that.

What do you think is on that tape?

I have no idea, but I'm eager to find out.

I know so little about myself, about my past.

I can't even remember anything from before I was 2 years old.

Uh, nobody can remember that far back, Pops.

Yeah, 2?

I can hardly remember anything before I was 22.

Perhaps you're right.

Hey! Take a look at this! It's bones.

U

-U

-Uh I don't think we should stay here.

Agreed.

This is definitely a snow mammoth's den.

And from the looks of it He's right there! Everyone, run! Hey! Hey! Hey! Over here! Go get it! Aah! Fi! No! I'm not worth it! Go on without me! You should really have some more self

-respect! You deserve to live as much as any of us! You know maybe you're right! Oh, no! Now it's really too late! Fi! No!! There's a hole over here we can go through! Don't let her death be in vain.

Come on.

Let's go, let's go, let's go.

Aaaah! Aaaah! Aaaah! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Greetings, travelers.

Aw, what! The Eggscellent Knight?

How are you up here?

! Yeah, we're not even on Earth! I posted my résumé on one of those job websites, and bingo I got some relic guarding work outside the Andromeda Galaxy.

Anyways, I'm here to tell you of these three VCRs.

One of fire one of ice one that's seemingly normal.

Choose incorrectly, and the information will be lost forever! So, which one do we choose?

Well, that seemingly normal one's definitely a trap.

I can't say.

I don't know ice tape, ice VCR?

Am I crazy here?

Makes sense to me.

What do you say, Pops?

Delivery for Mr.

Maellard, see.

Careful, sir.

It seems to be quite hot, see.

Don't tell me how to handle my highly futuristic equipment, see! Whatever you say, see.

Say, is this thing made well?

I need it to last a while, see.

Well, sir, you could upgrade to a lifetime warranty for 25 cents, see.

Sounds like a scam, see.

Get outta my house, ya crook! It's the fire one! Really?

Won't it just melt if we put it in there?

And then we'd never know what's on it! You won't be able to learn about your destiny! Just trust me.

Good luck, Chosen One.

Hold it off! Pops must see the tape! It's just making the place smell like burnt wigs! It's all we got! Keep sh**ting! No! We didn't come this far to not get answers! I got it! Aah! For Pops! Kai! No!! We could just keep sh**ting rocks at him! It was working really well! What?

Hello?

I knew my time would come! And it was totally worth it to die for Pops! I gotta goooooooooo! Kai?

Kai?

Hello?

She said it was worth it.

Those three.

If nothing else, they had a calling.

Ahem.

It is time to make your choice.

Oooh! Oooh! Oooh! Oooh! You have chosen wisely.

You did it, Pops! You found the tape! Mr.

Maellard?

Poppa?

I couldn't be more proud.

Now, I think it's high time that I explain some things to you.

A long time ago, I was on an expedition for recently fallen meteorites.

People at the time liked the look of them, so they'd pay a pretty penny.

Then, one day, a brand

-new meteor fell.

It was my lucky day! But when we went to inspect it, we found something else.

It was you! Baby you, but you! My Pops.

I called you that 'cause you looked super

-old.

But then I found something else.

With you, I found a scroll.

The scroll explained that you are special, not of this Earth.

It told the tale of two brothers one, the embodiment of pure good and the other, filled with pure evil, destined to be at w*r with one another.

I hoped I'd found the good one.

I hate returning things.

So I decided to hide you in the most ordinary place I could find.

All I wanted is for you to live out the rest of your days safely on Earth but that isn't your destiny.

The universe is beginning to unravel.

And it can only be the work of that brother of yours, out there somewhere, his instinct, only to destroy.

You, Pops, have the power to stop him.

You're the only thing standing between him and the destruction of the universe! Pops, I'm sure by now you've started to notice your body's changing.

You're finding powers where there were no powers before.

These are the beginning manifestations of your true form.

You must learn to harness your powers if you are to survive.

The scroll speaks of the strongest, most powerful trainer Earl, who will teach you how to use your powers.

I know it's a lot to take in, but I believe in you.

And, Pops I may not be your real father, but you were always my real son.

Should we do another one?

Did we get that?

Ohhhhhh, boy.

Guess Pops isn't a robot.

So how do we find this trainer?

Looking for me?

Uhh?

Uhh?

Uhh?

Uhh?

I am Earl from the tape.

Now, who's ready to train?

Ohhhhh! Ohhhhh! Ohhhhh! Ohhhhh! Yes, of course! He's old!