08x26 - k*ll 'Em with Kindness

[bunniefuu]

Congratulations to Pops.

He has officially completed

his training.

More than an army's worth

of strength

is contained

within this vessel.

Yum, yum, yum, yum,

yum, yum, yum, yum.

Was the peacock

the last of your training, Pops?

Uh, no. This is just

a weird thing he wanted to do.

But he looks

exactly the same.

Are you trying to tell us that

somehow he's changed inside,

even though he hasn't changed

at all on the outside?

Take a sh*t

if you don't believe me.

No, no.

We're good.

Come on.

You two

have destructive tendencies.

I know you do.

Okay, fine.

Pull my arm.

ALL: Whoa.

It's totally solid.

How'd that happen?

Whoa.

Whoa.

So cool.

So cool.

Snow cool.

Snow cool.

Is that all you've got?

Come on, really try

to take him down.

[PANTING]

Huh. Aah.

Everybody.

ALL: Uh...

Unh.

[COOS]

Good job, Muscle Man.

It turned into a bird.

[LAUGHS]

[SCREECHES]

Uhh. Hmm.

Aah.

Ooh. What?

How'd he do that?

He made a protective wall

out of positive energy,

and that's not all

he can do.

What else

can there possibly be?

Well, I guess

you could say

I have a way with words.

Aah.

Pops scaled my mind fence.

Yes. Now that Pops

is telepathic,

he'll never need

a telephone again.

Ahem. Question.

Ah, ah, ah.

Any questions

will be addressed

at tonight's

formal presentation.

The final battle

against Anti-Pops.

Now, Planet Nielsen,

home of the all-knowing seer

that can tell us exactly

when, where, and how

Pops will fight Anti-Pops.

So we just need to find her.

That's it.

That's the whole presentation.

Ahem. Earl.

What is it?

Remember how I said before

that I didn't want to fight

my brother?

Yes, but then we did

all that training,

and now you are ready.

Yes, but I still don't

want to fight him.

Yeah, but you're gonna.

You have to, Pops.

[ALL SHOUTING]

You have to.

Oh, but certainly

there must be some way

to end this dispute

peacefully.

No, Pops.

We've been over this.

The scroll says you fight,

so you will fight.

Okay.

Uh, okay.

I guess, uh, let's start

plotting the course

to Planet Nielsen.

All right, let's do this.

Yep, let's get 'er done.

Guess we better

buckle up.

Oh. There must be a way

to reason with Anti-Pops.

If only I could

get in touch with him.

Wait. I can.

[HUMMING]

ANTI-POPS: Sadness.

Impossible parking.

Had to wait

for the bathroom.

No free refills.

The only reason

I'm leaving a one-star rating

is that there isn't an option

for zero-st--

Huh? Pops?

You scaled my mind fence?

Don't worry.

This is just a friendly visit.

I thought I'd "pops" into

the old anti-thought attic.

[GIGGLES]

How dare you

show up in my head?

Well, that's just it.

I only wanted a chance

to get to know my brother

a little better.

Sadness.

I had no idea you were so sad.

You only think that

because happy for me

feels like sad to you.

Like how you see blue

where I see orange,

but you learned to call

your version of blue "orange."

It doesn't have to

be this way.

We could become friends.

And then what?

The joy of friendship

lasts forever.

Yes, perhaps

we should meet up

and talk this through.

I'll host.

Wonderful.

Meet me tomorrow

in my underground dungeon

on the sulphuric-lava planet.

[CACKLES]

Oh, uh...

how about

a public place instead?

Okay.

Uh, I know another spot

that might work.

Do you have

a pencil and paper handy?

I think my super mind

should be able to remember it.

Yes, of course.

[CACKLES]

[OVERLAPPING CHATTER]

Everyone,

splendid news.

There's no need

to fight Anti-Pops.

Um, how did you arrive at

this conclusion, Pops?

I telepathically

got in touch with him

and made a plan

to meet in person

and figure out

how to make peace.

This is so clearly a trick.

There's no making peace

with pure evil.

But he's not pure evil.

No, Pops. You will fight him,

and that is final.

Okay.

[IMITATES ANTI-POPS]

Peace sounds like

a wonderful idea to me, Pops.

I'm so glad you agree.

♪ La, la, la,

La, la, la, la ♪

♪ La, la, la,

La, la, la, la ♪

Ohh.

[WHIMPERS]

[GROANS]

Ah, Mordecai and Rigby.

How long

have you been here?

A while.

I know you all believe

that the only way

to save the universe

is by destroying Anti-Pops.

But I have never known v*olence

to be an answer before,

and I don't see why

it should be now.

Yeah, we hear you, Pops.

It's just, well,

this situation's

like a video game.

Some bad guys

can't be beaten with words.

In fact, most can't.

You b*at bad guys

by jumping on their heads

or punching them in the gut.

Do you?

Yeah.

And we'll be with you

every step of the way.

That means a lot to me.

Of course.

Are you still gonna bake

that cake?

Oh. I suppose.

That means a lot

to me.

♪ Breakfast cake,

Cake, cake ♪

♪ Cake, ca-cake,

Ca-ca-ca-cake ♪

♪ Ca-ca-ca-cake ♪

♪ Ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-cake ♪

Where's cake?

With Pops.

Where's Pops?

He left a note.

"Dear friends, I've gone

to see my evil brother.

"Cake fixes everything.

You'll see.

Sincerely, Pops."

He's gone

to get himself k*lled.

Himself and us-self.

We got to go find him.

[LASERS f*ring]

Oh.

Hello, Pops.

I'm so glad you came.

Alone, I presume?

As you suspiciously insisted,

yes.

There's no disagreement

so terrible

that it can't be hashed out

over a good, honest chat,

gentleman to gentleman.

I've secured

a quiet place to talk.

Right this way.

Good show. Good show.

Oh, dear.

This appears to be off...

limits.

Well, it is quiet.

This is my kind of place.

Really sets the mood.

Agree?

It sets a mood, I suppose.

I brought you a gift.

A man with

a tummy full of cake

has no need

to destroy the universe.

That's what I always say.

For me? Well, uh, I suppose

one taste couldn't hurt.

Oh, Pops.

This cake...

This cake is...

total garbage.

Oh, my "better together" cake.

You know,

I'm starting to wonder

if you were ever serious

about making peace.

Of course I wasn't,

you idiot.

Why would I want peace

for this universe?

This place and its creatures

offer me nothing,

and I plan to extend the favour

by destroying it all.

My goodness.

I've never met someone

who needed a hug so badly.

What? Ohh.

I don't need a hug.

Aah. Oof.

Oh, dear.

Aah.

Aah.

Oh.

Goodbye, Pops.

Please.

We don't have to do this.

Have to?

This is all I want.

[WHIMPERS]

Everything is broken, Pops,

just like these games.

But I have the solution

for broken things.

[GASPS]

See? All better.

That is not better.

Huh?

Hmm?

Hmm.

You see?

Positive energy can fix so much,

even a sad heart like yours.

It's like you don't

understand me at all.

Aah.

Ahh.

You can't hide from me.

I'm tired of looking at you,

Pops.

Just go away.

[CACKLES]

[GRUNTS]

Aah. I guess

my friends were right.

Some bad guys

can't be beaten with words.

[SCREAMS]

Tsk, tsk.

v*olence doesn't suit you.

[SCREAMS]

Unh.

Does it hurt, Pops?

Don't worry.

I'll make it all better.

[SCREAMS]

[CACKLING]

Ohh.

[HEART POUNDING]

[SCREAMS]

Ooh.

[ALL GRUNTING]

Pops, are you okay?

Aah.

RIGBY: Run.

[PANTING]

Where's the exit?

[ALL SCREAMING]

[POPS GASPS]

Heh heh heh heh.

Oh.

Oh.

Fulfil your destiny, Pops.

Get him

to the rendezvous point.

I'll hold off Anti-Pops. Hyah.

You heard him. Let's go.

[PANTING]

Heh heh heh heh.

[GRUNTING]

[PANTING]

[PANTING] Eileen.

Open the hatch.

We have to get him

medical attention.

Guys, we're

running out of asteroid fast.

Set coordinates

for Planet Nielsen.

[♪♪♪]

[BOTH CHUCKLE]