Narrator: coming up...
The guys force q to give a
Little mouth-to-mouth.
There was a guy in here
Before, and he had, like, herpes
All over his thing.
[ Laughter ]
Narrator: murr falls asleep
On the job.
What the f--- is going on?
And joe gets fresh in the
Produce section.
Do you mind when your melons
Are squeezed?
[ Laughter ]
Narrator: plus tonight's big
Loser goes belly-up.
[ Laughter ]
We're working as employees at
Charlie's nursery and garden
Center.
We have to do and say what
The other guys tell us.
And if you refuse, you lose.
Oh, I can't wait to fertilize
Some young plants!
[ Laughs ]
Hi, guys. How are you?
Good.
What you looking for?
We were just looking
At the mums.
We just got some incredible mums
In in the back.
Run as fast as you can.
Run! Run!
Come here. Come here.
Follow!
I'll show you. Come on this way.
They're right over here.
Just come over here.
You've got to see it.
Right around here.
They're right up there.
They're right there!
Come here! This one!
This is it! They're right here!
They're right here!
They're right here!
Keep going! Run!
[ Laughter ]
Well?
[ Panting ] I can't find
Them.
How much are the mums
That are on the hangers?
They range from $ . To the
Largest ones can go up to
$ . .
Make them smell the mums.
Throw them right in their face.
Unbelievable. Smell that.
All right. Try this one.
Great, right?
Try that.
All right.
Oh yeah, that's pretty.
Try that, sir.
This one, for example.
That one is great, right?
[ Laughter ]
And then -- oh, this is the one
I wanted to show you.
Smell that.
Isn't that unbelievable?
Oh yeah.
[ Laughter ]
Oh.
It's great, right?
Yeah, very nice.
Isn't that unbelievable?
[ Ding! Ding! Ding! ]
All right, q, you see this
Guy?
Interrogate him like he's a
t*rror1st.
Can I actually just check
This for a second?
You went with this bag, huh?
Uh, yeah.
Why -- why this bag?
Ask him for i.d.
You got i.d. On you?
[ Laughing ] what?
What, do you think you could
Just come into my yard and then
Grab my mulch?
I'm just going to take
Another bag.
No, no, no, no, no.
You can't take another bag.
Yeah I can.
Don't let him have that
Mulch!
Go, go, go!
Give me that mulch.
[ Laughs ]
Get him. Stop him.
[ Grunts ]
Give me this mulch.
[ Grunts ]
[ Laughter ]
[ Ding! Ding! Ding! ]
Sal, the next person that
Comes in, I want you to act like
A happy, magical sprite.
[ Chuckles ]
[ Laughter ]
Welcome to our magical garden!
[ Laughs ]
[ Giggles ]
[ Laughter ]
Now skip away.
[ Giggles ]
[ Laughter ]
So, I'm gonna take this one up
For you and these two, okay.
I call this flower
"The panty dropper."
[ Chuckles ]
I call this flower
"The panty dropper."
Yeah, yeah, whenever I get it
The panty dropper?
From someone, my panties drop.
[ Laughter ]
Shout, "I'm sorry, ma'am, we
Don't sell marijuana plants!"
[ Laughter ]
I'm sorry, ma'am, we do not
Sell marijuana here.
[ Laughter ]
I have my own,
I don't need yours
What?!
Whoa!
She has her own weed.
[ Laughter ]
[ Ding! Ding! Ding! ]
So, you got two of these?
Two hays?
Joe, you have to carry both
Bales.
Make it like your job depends on
It.
I'm trying to impress the
Boss, you know?
No, you can't take --
No, come on.
Don't get me in trouble.
Don't get me in trouble.
Don't get me in trouble.
Don't get me in trouble.
Don't get me in trouble.
You ain't gonna get --
Come on.
You're going to hurt yourself.
Can I grab one?
Stop it!
Don't get me in trouble.
Are you kidding me?
I got it, man.
Slowly get weaker and weaker
And get on your back.
Get weaker.
Get lower to the ground.
Just lay on the ground. Yeah.
Oh, god!
[ Laughs ]
[ Laughter ]
[ "Taps" plays ]
No, I got it! I got it!
Don't! Don't! Don't! Don't!
Don't! Don't!
I got it. I got it.
I got it.
I need this job!
[ Sighs ] I got it.
I got it, I got it, I got it.
Watch, watch, watch.
I got it.
I got it.
I got it.
I don't want to see you
F------ struggle.
Look at you.
I got it bud.
I got that for you, all right?
Hey, man. How's it going?
Hey, how's it going?
Good.
Working up the whole garden?
Hopefully.
Okay.
Joe, ask him if his wife lets
Him plant his zucchini in her
Backyard.
[ Laughter ]
[ Laughing ] oh, my god.
Come on.
Say it or lose, buddy.
So, does your wife, uh...
Maintain your garden?
All: aw!
[ Buzzer ]
You smell that?
Oh, yeah.
I smell it, too.
It's the fertilizer.
It's your horse [bleep]
Turn that just happened.
Narrator: joe rakes in a
Loss.
I was born with a green
Thumb.
I live in an apartment building
In the city.
I can't have a garden proper.
I would love to have a basil
Plant in the apartment.
[ Laughs ]
"I can't have a garden
Proper."
[ Laughter ]
[ Italian music plays ]
Hey, uh, boyardee!
We are at
Sergimmo's italian deli.
We're gonna be behind the
Counter making delicious
Sandwiches for people.
Hang on to your meatballs,
Folks.
Whoa.
This is a "joker versus
Joker" challenge.
Yeah, boy!
What this means is there are
Meats and cheeses in this bag.
Whoever draws the meat must
Compete.
Whoever draws the cheese does
Not have to compete.
[ Laughter ]
Do it.
Yeah.
All: [ groan ]
Ready?
Yeah!
Aw!
[ Laughs ]
Okay, sal. You're up.
Hi. How are you?
Good, how are you?
Sal, rub yourself.
Do you have a salad?
Salads?
I eat salads, too.
Can I get the tuna?
Tuna salad?
Yeah.
[ Laughter ]
Keep doing it.
Just keep doing it.
It's so weird.
[ Laughter ]
Do you work in the
Neighborhood?
Yeah.
[ Laughter ]
Is that salad coming along?
Coming right out.
Buddy, the next person that
Comes in here and they place
Their order, I want you to stare
Intently at them.
Hey. How you doing, buddy?
Big eyes.
Can I get a, uh...
[ Laughs ]
[ Laughter ]
Uh... Sopresatta.
The more it's going, dude.
[ Laughter ]
Oh, here's a new girl right
Here.
There you go.
Just start putting meats in
Your clothing.
[ Laughter ]
What's going on?
[ Laughs ]
Oh my gosh.
I'm horrified.
[ Laughs ]
[ Laughing ] funny!
Keep doing it!
What, are you hiding it?
What's that?
Take it out of your pants,
Put it on the roll.
Who ordered the super sub
Heated up?
[ Laughter ]
All right, sal, take a bite
Of that.
[ Laughter ]
Bite it!
Take a bite!
Eat it!
Oh, my god.
There's no way he's doing this.
Just start putting meats in
Your clothing.
Yeah, thank you. Beautiful.
Thanks so much.
You got it.
[ Laughs ]
Take it out of your pants,
Put it on the roll.
Who ordered the super sub
Heated up?
[ Laughter ]
All right, sal, take a bite
Of that.
[ Laughter ]
Sal, take a bite of it!
Bite it! Take a bite!
Eat it!
Oh, my god, there's no way
He's doing this.
[ Laughter ]
[ Ding! Ding! Ding! ]
All right, murr, it's your
Counter, buddy.
Can I just get
A number one?
Number one. You got it.
Murr, just keep filling his
Hands up with samples.
What do you want to try?
I'll give you a sample of
Something.
Here, how about uh...
Well, try that.
[ Laughs ]
[ Laughter ]
That's good.
Hand him another huge thing.
Another quick sample.
Try that.
[ Laughs ]
[ Laughter ]
It's good, right?
Ohh.
It's good, right?
What are you doing?
It's delicious, right?
Here, you can have that.
[ Laughs ]
Have you been helped yet,
Sir?
A liguria, please?
Walk around.
Come out the door.
Close-talk him now.
Get right up in his grill.
That's a liguria to stay.
Tap him with the brim of your
Hat.
Listen, I'm gonna give you a
Free sample...
[ Laughter ]
...of this...and this.
Okay.
Okay, and then if you
Don't -- if you like them...
Try to get your head on his
Chest.
But I'll give you -- you can
Try a piece of the prosciutto
With a great special today...
Get in there! Get in there!
...of the roasted peppers.
Which, if you like roasted
Peppers...
Yeah that's on my
Sandwich actually.
That's great? Okay, great.
More, more, more!
So, you want maybe a little
Side of the roasted peppers?
Okay, good. Okay.
Let me go get this for you, and
I'll bring it right out, okay?
All right.
[ Laughter ]
He's looking at his shirt.
Can I get two
Number thirteens?
Just fall asleep taking the
Order.
[ Mumbles ]
[ Lullaby music plays ]
[ Laughter ]
Was that to stay or to sleep?
Uh, to go.
[ Chuckles ]
Is he ok?
[ Laughs ]
Just hold it. Hold it.
He's looking around.
Stay asleep.
He doesn't know what to do.
[ Laughter ]
Murr, murr, stay asleep.
Stay asleep.
[ Laughter ]
What the f--- is going on?
[ Ding! Ding! Ding! ]
Narrator: with no losses in
The deli, joe is in a real
Pickle.
Why don't you pick up the
Phone when I call you?
What are you talking about?
You never pick up the phone
When I call you.
Because you don't usually
Have a lot to add to my life.
[ Laughter ]
I know when you're together
Because as soon as I push "no"
On your number, his number rings
Me.
And I'm like, "oh, I guess they
Had to tell me something."
We're at the grocery store
Doing market research on a
Brand-new drink.
We'll be giving away free
Samples and asking a couple of
Questions that we've written for
Each other.
And the questions will be a
Complete surprise to us.
[ Chuckles ]
Right, and these questions
Will have little or nothing to
Do with the drink.
nothing to do with the drink.
[ Laughter ]
I'm ready to go. Hi.
Can I give you a free sample?
Would you like?
Did you like the cherry flavor
Or do you think --
It could have a little more...
Sweetness to it.
Okay.
And have y--
[ Laughter ]
I'd love to feel your mouth with
My mouth.
Can we make this happen?
[ Laughter ]
[ Laughs ]
No.
"No."
[ Laughter ]
It's a natural sweetener.
Last question...
[ Laughter ]
[ Whistles ]
[ Laughter ]
Last question -- um...
[ Sighs ]
Last question...
[ Chuckles ]
What the [bleep] are you looking
At?
Huh?
I was looking
At your fruits.
"Looking at the fruits."
Okay.
[ Laughter ]
[ Ding! Ding! Ding! ]
Free samples, folks.
Free samples.
What is that, juice?
Try it.
Quick question for you -- so,
Um...
[ Laughter ]
Men with, uh, large penises love
This drink.
I, for one, hate it.
What do you think?
[ Laughter ]
It's good.
"It's good." Great.
[ Laughter ]
A little thirsty? Free sample?
It's good.
And then the question is, um...
[ Laughter ]
Um...and the last question is,
Are you finished, uh...
Am I what?
Uh, um...
A little thirsty?
Free sample? It's good.
And then the question is, um...
[ Laughter ]
Um...and the last question is,
Are you finished, uh...
Am I what?
Um...
Are you finished with the drink?
[ Laughter ]
All: aw!
[ Buzzer ]
All right, joe.
Let's see what you got.
We're doing a taste test
Today.
Would you like to give a sip?
So, let me just -- we --
[ Laughter ]
We squeeze our melons for
Flavor.
Do you mind when your melons are
Squeezed?
[ Laughter ]
No?
And then what about with the
Drink?
[ Laughter ]
Oh, man.
[ Laughter ]
[ Ding! Ding! Ding! ]
You want a free sample -- a
Little sports drink action?
What did you think of that?
Not sugary enough.
And, uh...
[ Chuckles ]
Did, uh -- I can't tell.
Did this drink make your nips
Hard?
[ Laughs ]
You know, your nips.
No.
[ Laughs ]
Okay, so, that's just 'cause
It's cold in here?
Okay. Thank you very much.
[ Laughter ]
And he's holding his -- he's
Holding his tits walking away!
He's warming his nips!
[ Ding! Ding! ]
Narrator: murr sampled the
Bitter taste of failure, making
It a two-way tie for last as
They head into the final
Challenge.
Why are your nipples always
Hard?
Look.
Like, even in warm weather
Your nipples are hard?
Always.
Look, you can see them
Through -- I have two shirts on
Right now.
Why do you notice that his
Nipples are always hard?
Tell me right now.
Today we get to make out with
Girls.
≫>no,we don't.
Today we're teaching cpr.
Yeah, and we're gonna have
The ear piece in.
We have to do and say what the
Other guys tell us.
This is the kind of girls murray
Makes out with.
It is.
[ Laughter ]
How you doing?
Hi. I'm brian.
Ellis.
I'm your cpr instructor.
Michael.
I'm gonna teach you the
A-b-c's of cpr, all right?
And at the end of the
Session...
And at the end of the
Session...
...if you only remember one
Thing...
If you only remember one
Thing, now...
...remember this...
...remember this...
[ Laughter ]
Okay, you want to try
Compressions?
Go ahead. Get in there.
See how you do.
Right off the bat I see
You're not being half as sensual
As you need to be.
Right off the bat I see,
Like, you're not being half as,
Uh, sensual as you need to be.
Huh
[ Laughter ]
Have you guys ever taken any cpr
And stuff before?
No.
No?
No.
Okay.
Lock your hands like this.
Do the macarena.
Now go like this.
Hey, macarena!
[ Laughter ]
Q, tell them the last guy to
Touch the dummy's mouth had
Herpes.
I'm not gonna have you put
Your lips on this 'cause there
Was a guy in here before and he
Had, like, herpes all over his
Thing.
Yeah.
Now put your lips all over
It.
[ Exhaling deeply ]
[ Laughter ]
Just like that.
[ Ding! Ding! Ding! ]
So, first thing you want to
Do is you want to come over and
Ask them if they're choking.
Are you choking?
[ Laughing ] yell in it's
Face.
Are you choking?
Are you choking?!
[ Laughter ]
Now, before we administer cpr,
Everyone has a moment of truth.
Is this person too gross to
Save?
Is this person too gross to
Touch?
[ Laughter ]
So, have you guys had any
Experience at cpr before?
Yes.
How so?
I just graduated
From med school.
[ Laughter ]
Oh, crap. He's a doctor.
Check whether it's a boy or a
Girl.
Okay, first you want to come
Over and you want to check if
It's a boy or a girl.
[ Laughter ]
Remember, if she has a
Brassiere on, you might want to
Take off the brassiere.
[ Laughs ]
Because the rule is let them
Tittays go before you start to
Blow.
[ Laughter ]
Yeah, okay, so...
[ Sighs ]
Women wear brassieres that could
Be obstructive or constricting.
So, the rule is...
You want to let them tittays go
Before you start to blow.
[ Laughter ]
Let's all say it.
So, let's say it together.
All: you want to let them
Tittays go before you start to
Blow.
[ Laughter ]
[ Ding! Ding! Ding! ]
James.
Michelle.
Michelle, so nice to meet
You.
Hi, james. Paula.
Paula, so nice to meet you.
My gym teacher gave me cpr
For the first time when I was
.
My personal background is I
Actually received cpr when I was
A kid.
I was .
My gym teacher gave me cpr.
[ Gasps ] oh, no.
Yeah.
Now that I think of it, I
Wasn't choking.
[ Laughs ]
I wasn't choking, now that I
Think about it.
[ Laughter ]
So, first thing's first.
Have her lean in.
Okay.
And you're gonna whisper to
Her, "whatever you do...
Whatever you do...
"...don't confuse the
Inferior vena cava..."
...don't confuse the inferior
Vena cava...
"...with the pulmonary
Valves."
...with the pulmonary valves.
"Someone coulddie."
Someone coulddie.
Okay.
Now what did I just tell you?
[ Laughter ]
So, what did I just tell you?
That's right.
Oh.
You never want to confuse the
Vena caviola...
Inferior vena cavas.
[ Mumbling ]
[ Laughter ]
You don't ever want to
Confuse the inferior vena cava
With the pulmonary valves...
...or someone could die.
...or someone could die.
Now, what did I just tell
You?
So, what did I just tell you?
[ Laughter ]
Vena caviola in the -- I'm
Getting it confused.
That's okay. It's okay.
It's okay. It's okay.
This is a dummy. It's okay.
She's not dying.
I'm gonna do this one last
Time, paula...
Don't confuse...
...the inferior vena cava...
...with the pulmonary valves
Or someone could die.
So, what did I just tell you?
[ Laughing ] what did I --
So, what did I just --
[ Laughter ]
Michelle, come over here.
Get in the middle of us.
Come in close. Come in close.
Everybody hug each other.
Get right around that head.
Come on, now. Okay, ready?
All: don't confuse the
Inferior vena cava with the
Pulmonary valves...
Or someone could die.
What did I just tell you?
[ Ding! Ding! Ding! ]
[ Laughter ]
So, have you ever done the
Heimlich?
No.
Joe, just start making up
Medical terms.
So, you want to come right
Under into the nissan maximas.
[ Laughter ]
Push right here right under the
Regis philbin, and you want
To -- until something pops out.
Some people do a problem, and
They'll go right up top on the
Nissan altimas.
You want to get under to the
Nissan maximas right here.
So, not too low to the
Nissan sentras.
You want to get them right in
The pathfinder.
[ Laughter ]
You're saving this person.
This is an emergency.
You come in, clear the area.
Joe, flip out.
Go crazy.
"Are you breathing," you
Know?
Stay away from the light!
You got to get them up, and you
Got to -- you've got so much to
Live for!
Come back to me, you son of a
Bitch!
Tell robby, "you stay away
From the light!"
Robby, don't go to the light!
You stay away from the [bleep]
Light!
[ Laughter ]
Where is the heart?
The way to get to the
Heart...
The easiest way to get to the
Heart...
...is through my pants.
Both: that you won't say?!
The easiest way to get to the
Heart is by making me dinner.
[ Buzzer ]
[ Laughter ]
Joey lost!
Complete flatline!
[ Imitating flatline ]
Stay away from the light!
Clear! Boom!
[ Continues imitating ]
All right, that's enough.
All right.
Just cut.
Okay.
That's really --
[ Continues imitating ]
Stop it, honestly.
God, stop!
I could have kept going
Another minute.
Narrator: joe choked at the
Cpr class, and now he's in
Critical condition because he is
Tonight's big loser.
Joe's failure has brought him
Here to a moroccan lounge where
There's tons of sexy belly
Dancers.
But tonight there's about to
Be an extra-special belly
Dancer, our best friend joe.
Former best friend.
Joe, you got to go upstairs
And perform a belly dance to a
Packed lounge in full belly
Dancing regalia.
Are they providing a belly or
I'm gonna have to use my own?
[ Laughing ] no, no, no.
You brought the belly.
So, it's b.y.o.b.?
[ Laughter ]
Ladies and gentlemen,
Yeah!
Ladies and gentlemen,
Illana!
This is ridiculous.
This is insane.
And now...
The moment you've all been
Waiting for.
Please welcome.
Joe.
Joe's failure has brought him
Here to a moroccan lounge where
There's tons of sexy belly
Dancers.
But tonight there's about to
Be an extra-special belly
Dancer, our best friend joe.
Yeah!
Ladies and gentlemen,
Illana!
This is ridiculous.
This is insane.
And now...
The moment you've all
Been waiting for.
Please welcome...
Joe.
Whoo!
[ Laughter ]
[ Up-tempo music plays ]
Whoo!
[ Laughter ]
[ Gasps ]
[ Laughing ] oh, my god.
[ Laughter ]
Take the mask off!
Show your face!
[ Laughter ]
[ Cymbals pinging ]
[ Laughter ]
Get into it, you cheeky
Monkey!
[ Laughter ]
Whoo!
[ Laughter ]
That's what happens when you
Lose!
[ Cheering ]
01x12 - Bellydancer
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
This hidden-camera series follows three lifelong friends -- Brian "Q" Quinn, James "Murr" Murray and Sal Vulcano -- who take dares to an outrageous level.
This hidden-camera series follows three lifelong friends -- Brian "Q" Quinn, James "Murr" Murray and Sal Vulcano -- who take dares to an outrageous level.