[ sea gulls crying ]
[ ship horn blares ]
all: Hey!
Hey, everybody, we're on
the "impractical jokers" cruise
With thousands of your friends.
Say hi, friends.
[ all cheering ]
Murr: That's right.
We're on vacation for a week
with our fans,
And you're coming along
for the ride.
We'll be counting down our top
ten memories of other times
We've taken the show
on the road.
So who's ready
for a countdown?!
-Here we go!
-Whoo!
[ tires screech ]
Sal:
Prepare for something amazing.
Q: Hey, mustache, what's up?
[ laughter ]
Murr: Like a boss!
[ laughter ]
Sal:
I will never forgive you!
Joe: Larry!
[ laughter ]
Sal: Let's give the people
what they want!
[ cheers and applause ]
This is amazing.
This is crazy. Look around.
We're gonna have so much fun
the next five days.
Who's ready to go
on vacation with us?
[ cheers and applause ]
-[ laughs ]
-nice!
Murr: You know, we have, uh,
some celebrities on the boat.
I-I hear fat crow is
on the boat somewhere.
Right? Bouncing around.
-A.K.A. Karate tortoise.
I see the handsomest doctor.
Dr. Frank right over there.
[ cheers and applause ]
Guys, it's the
chicken-bone bandit!
-There he is!
-Ohh!
Sal: Yeah,
you son of a bitch!
And we got joey fatone.
He's got a...
Where's he at?
[ cheers and applause ]
Who's ready
for a countdown?!
[ cheers and applause ]
All right. Let's take a look
at the number- travel moment
From the show.
♪♪
Howdy, y'all.
[ jokers laughing ]
Who am I?
"I'm rodeo champion
of the world!"
I'm rodeo champion
of the world!
[ feedback whines ]
[ jokers laughing ]
All right, buddy,
go rope a calf.
All right. Got it.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah. Got it.
Joe: He corrected the way
to hold the rope!
Here's the part
q doesn't know about --
Texas justice.
Murr: Yeah!
[ gate clangs open ]
Q: Whoa! Whoa!
What the hell are you doing?!
What are you doing?!
Get the hell away from me!
Get the --
[ cheers and applause ]
-Whoa!
-Drag him!
What are you doing?
Don't --
Are you kidding me?!
[ laughter continues ]
[ cheers and applause ]
Are you [bleep]
kidding me?!
♪♪
What are you doing?
Okay...
I'm gonna k*ll you.
-Champion of the world!
-Champion of the world!
-Yes!
-Yee-haw!
[ laughter ]
Joe: Yee-haw!
[ ship horn blares ]
You may not know this, but
the "impractical jokers" cruise
Is the very same ship
we filmed on years ago.
[ laughter ]
And this...
Is where I got punished.
My name is james s. Murray,
your master of ceremonies.
I used to sail with my dog.
She had beautiful brown eyes
and a tongue that didn't quit.
[ jokers laughing ]
♪ here we go
[ cheers and applause ]
♪♪
All: "joker" cruise!
-That's a nice jingle vest.
-Thank you.
Let's take a look
at the next clip.
-[ laughs ]
-shake!
[ bells jingling ]
[ laughs ]
-This is my dream.
-It is?
I'm not even kidding around.
Like, my dream is to own
A hoveround, jazzy,
or a rascal.
[ laughter ]
Uh...Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
Come on, guys.
I'm sorry. Sorry.
I'm just trying
to help a pal.
[ laughter ]
♪♪
[ laughter ]
Excuse me. Do you know
where collins avenue is?
Collin? Collin avenue?
[ jokers laughing ]
♪♪
There he goes.
See the guy on the phone.
Murr: Oh, no.
[ q laughing ]
-Get in closer.
-Get closer. Get closer.
[ man speaking indistinctly ]
[ jokers laughing ]
Sal: About to die.
Q: Within an inch of the guy
while he's on the phone.
It's a nice day, huh?
[ jokers laughing ]
Joe, your chair
is voice-activated.
Joe: Chair, go forward.
Chair forward.
Chair, sto-- chair. Chair.
Aw, come on. Come on, chair!
Chair, left! Chair, forward!
Forward, chair!
Chair, go forward! Forward!
[bleep] chair, stop!
♪♪
Chair -- oh, sorry.
Chair, stop. Sorry.
My voice activation
is all [bleep].
[ jokers laughing ]
♪♪
Joe: Welcome to
the bellyflop contest, y'alls.
[ cheers and applause ]
This year, pizzazz is
what we're looking for.
Joe, what about you?
Style. Flair.
Flair.
All the pizzazz.
If you're not gonna
flop with pizzazz,
Get out of my pool.
Let's get this thing
started.
[ cheers and applause ]
-Ohh! Okay.
-That was nice.
-This is how we do it!
-Yeah!
-Pizzazz!
-Oh.
Fatone:
Hey! [ laughs ]
I saw commitment,
but I didn't see enough splash.
I would've gave it
a myself.
Joe: Here we go.
-Ohh.
-That was a good one.
It's about technique! I hope
you all learned something.
Joe: Here's --
fat crow is here.
[ chanting ]
fat crow! Fat crow! Fat crow!
Fatone: Fat crow, fly!
Joe: Ohh!
That's how you do it
right there!
-Ohh...
-Oh, my god.
Joe: [ as borat ] I like!
[ cheers and applause ]
Fatone: Boom, baby!
And now enjoy
the next clip
For "impractical jokers"
countdown.
Q: So, joe is about to crash a
cannonball contest on the ship,
Except he can only
do belly flops.
[ indistinct conversations ]
Q: There he goes!
[ cheering ]
Ohh!
Ohh!
That was painful!
Ohh!
Joe, do it again, buddy.
Here we go.
[ crowd groans ]
[ laughter ]
The whole crowd
goes, "ohh!"
[ laughter ]
Look at the difference
between his back and his front!
Look, it's pale white
and hot pink.
I'd be feeling
so bad right now
If the three of us
didn't have tattoos on us.
[ laughter ]
Man: Ohh!
♪♪
[ cheering ]
All the fervor and life
is being sucked out of him.
Joe: Oh, god.
[ laughter ]
Dude, he's exhausted.
If he was a video game, the life
meter would be blinking.
♪♪
[ crowd groans ]
He's done.
[ laughter ]
Murr: Here we go!
-Whoo!
-Whoo!
[ cheers and applause ]
♪♪
Q: All right!
Everybody, we thank you.
We gotta take a break
for commercial.
We'll be right back
with more special.
Whoo!
[ cheers and applause ]
Hello, everybody.
Let's play some flip cup!
♪♪
Flip cuppery has begun.
This is for all the marbles.
-Woman: Come on!
-Q: Ohh!
You better flip!
Ohh...
Man: The pretenders!
The pretenders win!
[ cheers and applause ]
How ya doin'?
My favorite travel moment was
actually in orlando, florida,
When they visited fat one's.
It was actually one of the most
exquisite moments of my life
Because they actually
came to my restaurant
And messed around with people.
Take a look.
Joe: All right.
Here we are at fat one's.
When do we start
getting hot dogs?
-That's $.
-[bleep].
-[ laughs ]
-can I get a hot dog?
Just get me one.
-Want me to get it for you?
Yeah. Thanks.
Joe: Here comes fatone.
He's just getting q a hot dog.
-What's up, man?
-Hey. How you doing?
I'm joey. You guys
enjoying your food?
-Yeah.
-Awesome.
Hey, murray, tell fatone
to bring me my hot dog back.
Mr. Quinn ordered a hot dog.
Can you please get it for him?
Yes, I'm getting it for him.
I'm waiting for it to be cooked.
Can I speak to you
for a second? Come here.
[ laughter ]
-Get it together, man!
-Dude --
You will be bounced out
of this mall so fast!
Would you like me to --
when mr. Quinn
wants a hot dog,
You get him a hot dog!
Fine. Just give me
the hot dog then!
[ laughter ]
The problem is you have to
learn how to talk to people.
[ laughter ]
♪♪
[ cheers and applause ]
Sal:
It's luau night, baby.
Joe: And then we're gonna
get lower and lower and lower!
♪ how low can you go?
♪ how low can you go?
How low? Holy [bleep]!
[ cheers and applause ]
To luau night!
[ cheers and applause ]
Welcome back
to our travel special.
Hey, you guys
having a good time?
Joe: Come on!
[ cheers and applause ]
Hell yes. Yes.
Let's have a look
at the next clip.
Q: Guys.
Guys, guys, guys.
Murray's cruise
credit card.
[ laughter ]
There's no money
on the boat.
You use this to buy everything.
You guys want a drink?
[ both laugh ]
you want a drink?
I'll be right back.
Keep 'em coming.
Need three piña coladas,
one non-alcoholic for my friend.
So, what am I doing?
Gentlemen, cheers.
-To james murray.
-To james murray.
All right, james.
Thanks. Here we go.
Sal: Hey, murr.
Go under someone's lounge chair
While they're laying there.
Okay.
I'll be right back.
[ laughter ]
Come on. I got his key.
Here we go.
-Oh. He's going, he's going.
-He's in.
Q: Oh, my god.
Bro, you can't get caught.
Remember, you cannot get caught.
♪♪
Sal: Get in good!
[ laughs ]
His -- his chicken legs
are sh**ting out the bottom!
Little does he know,
Joe's taking a [bleep]
in his room right now.
[ laughter ]
A little privacy, please.
♪♪
Wow. He really did it!
[ laughs ]
What'd I miss?
[ both laugh ]
Did you [bleep]?
Did you [bleep]?
Did you --
did you --
Let's just say
I'm feeling much better.
[ laughter ]
Hey, murr, just so you know,
while you were under there...
[ laughs ]
You left your room key
back here.
[ laughter ]
So q bought
a round of drinks...
And I just [bleep]
in your room.
[ laughter ]
I should mention
I didn't flush.
[ laughter ]
Ass [bleep]!
All: Wheel of doom!
Whoo!
Are you guys ready
to continue the countdown
With the very next moment?!
[ cheers and applause ]
Sal: I think --
I-I think I'm gonna go --
[ cellphone rings ]
Joe: W-why do you have
your phone out?
I just have a --
someone was calling.
[ laughter ]
Why is that funny?
Why is that funny?
Someone was calling,
and now it says "unknown."
[ cellphone rings ]
Oh, this might be the --
hold on. Hello?
What? Hold on
one second, please.
[ cellphone rings ]
Joe: What's the matter?
You getting a phone call?
Why does your phone
keep ringing?
Why is your phone
blowing up, bud?
♪♪
What the [bleep] is that?
[ cellphone rings ]
[ laughter ]
♪♪
Sal: Ohh!
Sorry about that.
We put your real phone number
on a plane.
[ cellphone ringing ]
Sal: Oh. Oh!
Don't ever call me here.
Don't -- oh, my god.
Oh, you [bleep]
Oh, no. Oh, no. Ohh.
[ cellphone ringing ]
Oh, my god.
Woman: [seductively]
hi. Are you lonely?
[ laughter ]
Actually, for you,
I might be lonely.
[ laughter ]
[ indistinct conversations ]
[ harp plays ]
♪♪
Please take a look
at another clip.
There's no way to put this
but just to say it.
[ laughs ]
We've dressed joe
as a mermaid.
[ laughter ]
He has to crawl from the water
to a plate of doughnuts.
I think the easiest way to do it
is to use momentum.
[ grunts ] aah!
[ laughter ]
Q: It is so funny seeing him
peek over the dunes.
Murr: It looks like
a fat version of d-day.
Oh, my god.
Joe: Trying to get...
Be honest -- can you smell
the doughnuts from there?
Oh, that's --
what's that? A glazed?
That's a glazed.
[ grunting ]
[ laughter ]
I'm dry-humping
this thing.
I'll dry-hump my way
to a doughnut.
[ laughter ]
[ grunts ]
[ laughter ]
I really want a doughnut,
but my body is shutting down.
Sal: Stay, buddy.
It's okay.
[ laughter ]
Joey, here you go, bud.
Here you go, bud.
Joe: Oh, the [bleep]
sea gulls.
Get out of here.
This one's mine!
Get out of here,
you sons of b*tches!
Get off me! Aah!
These are my doughnuts!
Come on!
♪♪
Suck it!
♪♪
Murr: Hi, everybody.
How you doing?
Do you want me to read
a chapter from the new book?
Is that cool?
[ cheers and applause ]
Chapter one of my new book,
"obliteration."
But first,
let's cut to commercial.
[ laughter ]
Hey, I'm dan cast,
"impractical jokers"
assistant director.
sh**ting this special.
Figured I'd take a minute
and tell you my favorite
Travel moment at
canter's deli in hollywood
When I pretty much
had to save the day.
Joe: Alright, murr,
we gave you a check.
Q: Don't look at it.
Don't look at it.
We want you to drop that off
to a table that's done.
Just drop it and go.
And here's the check.
Whenever you guys are ready.
What could it be
on that check?
Murr, is your mind racing?
[ laughter ]
-This is ready to go?
-No.
-What's that?
-I think that's the wrong one.
[ laughter ]
Joe: The check is
about five pages long.
That'll be, uh, $,.
[ laughter ]
This is not yours?
-Excuse me?
-What's that?
Does it have
the sausage on it?
-Yes, yes, yes.
-That's mine.
[ laughter ]
My apologies.
This is his bill.
[ laughter ]
"does it have
the sausage on it?"
That will be, uh, $,.
[ laughter ]
[ cheers and applause ]
Joe: Here we go.
♪♪
-Whoo!
-Yeah!
♪♪
Hey, welcome back to
"highlights from the high seas."
We are having a look back
at all of our favorite
Travel-episode moments.
Let's have a look at number .
Joe: All right, sheriff.
We heard there was some trouble
in the old nevada.
-The old nevada saloon?
-How is this a punishment?
So far, I'm the sheriff
of an awesome town.
You know what happens to
sheriffs in old westerns, right?
All right.
[ clears throat ]
Yo, word around here, buddy,
is that you're a cheater.
Is that an ace?!
Murr: Oh, my god!
What are you
gonna do about it?
Sal:
[ laughing ] oh!
"I'm gonna kick
your ass, partner."
[ joe laughs ]
Wha-- all right.
I tell you what
I'm gonna do about it.
[ sal laughs ]
I'm gonna kick
your ass, partner.
Oh, yeah?
[ glass shatters ]
[ laughter ]
where you going?
[ laughter ]
[ glass shatters ]
Q: No! No!
♪♪
[ glass shattering ]
You broke all my glasses!
[ glass shatters ]
[bleep] almighty!
Oh [bleep]! Guys!
[ glass shattering ]
[ laughter ]
-Oh, my --
-ohh!
[ laughter ]
What the [bleep]?
[ chanting ] sal! Sal! Sal!
Sal! Sal! Sal! Sal! Sal!
Oh, my god. I've dreamt of
this moment my whole life.
[ laughter ]
seconds.
Name a pizza topping.
-Pepperoni.
-Enh!
Um, mushroom.
Name a type of sandwich.
Peanut butter and jelly.
-Name a school supply.
-Pencil.
-All right.
-Oh, my goodness.
-Here we go.
-Is that up there?
[ ding ]
Man: Oh, my god! They won!
Sal won! He did it!
[ can opens ]
Hi, everybody. How's everybody
doing so far? Good?
[ cheers and applause ]
All right, well, guys.
Uh, raise your r&h beer.
Raise it up.
And we're gonna give a toast
to the next travel clip.
Guys, enjoy this one.
[ cheers and applause ]
Joe:
You know, music's a big part
of the culture here in hawaii.
So he's gonna do the --
he's on uke, I'm on drums.
Jam out, you two,
hawaiian-style.
[ murr singing mock hawaiian ]
♪♪
♪♪
Start getting
really hard with it.
Really hard and intense.
Start doing the w*r cry.
Dak-dah!
[ laughter ]
Dak-dah!
[ laughter ]
Sal: You look insane!
You look insane!
-[ murr's singing continues ]
-dak-dah!
Dak-dah! Dak-dah!
♪♪
Hak-dah! Hak-dah!
[ laughter ]
Thank you.
Welcome back to the special.
You join us at the relay race
Where it's a cut-throat battle
with these children.
♪♪
Sal:
On your mark! Get set!
Go!
[ starter p*stol fires ]
Go, go, go, go.
[ joe shouting gibberish ]
You feeling good?
You're not afraid
of...Are you?
Fantastic. Go.
Team . Close enough.
Close enough.
Go ahead.
Close enough.
I'm trying to help you cheat.
Close enough.
Sal: All right. Come on.
Now we're doing the dizzy bats!
Joe: Dizzy bats.
Oh, it's so close.
There you go.
Well done. Well done.
-Ohh!
-Oh! He's safe!
And he's safe.
And the balloon went
for dramatic effect.
Let's take a look
at another clip.
Ladies and gentlemen, you are
in for the treat of treats.
Sal: Oh, god.
The mexican
bog monster.
[ groans ]
You may ask yourself,
"what does a bog monster eat?"
His absolute favorite
is fish.
Q: Oh, raw fish.
Murr: Go get it!
Go get it, bog monster!
Get it! Get it!
Go get it, bog monster!
Get it!
Aah! [ growls ]
Get it, bog monster!
[ sal shrieking ]
Uh-oh!
Oh, my [bleep] god!
Oh, my --
Q: Oh, my god!
What's that?
-Oh, my god!
-Alligator.
[ laughter ]
-[ whimpers ]
-get back! Get back!
Oww! [bleep]
-That's not a helmet?
-No!
Joe: Oh. But, see,
now, the warm water --
It affects the bog monster,
and, actually,
It's some form of
arousal sometimes,
Where he'll stand up and
start doing his mating dance,
Which is
quite effeminate.
It's an effeminate
mating dance.
I'm gonna k*ll you three.
[ laughter ]
[ burlesque music plays ]
[ laughter ]
[ music continues ]
-Yeah!
-Ohh!
Q: Ohh! Ohh!
It's attracted a mate!
Murr: It attracted another bog
monster -- the mating dance!
A second bog monster!
We've never seen this before!
[ laughter and applause ]
Sal: This is the worst day
of my life.
[ laughter ]
Joe:
♪ it's time for traffic cam
♪ it's time for traffic cam
what's up, y'all?
How we doing?
[ cheers and applause ]
All right. So, let's
get to some questions.
What do you say?
[ cheers and applause ]
All right. "if you could be
any animal other than a dog,
What kind would you be?"
Uh, I would be a hawk.
I just want to get up there
and spread my wings.
[ laughter ]
And fly.
Especially with this big beak.
[ laughter ]
Okay. Our countdown
is almost over, so
we have to take a break.
And when we come back,
we will see the number-one
Travel moment from all of
"impractical jokers" history.
♪♪
Hi, everybody.
This is rob on the cruise.
I'm gonna throw you
to my favorite travel moment
When I was flown
across the country by sal
Just to mess with q.
I said that backwards.
[ beep ]
Hi, everybody. This is rob
on the "jokers" cruise,
Also known as the fat crow.
I just screwed that up, too.
Damn it.
I'm here to tell you -- ah --
[ beep ]
I'm here on the cruise
Throwing you to the best
moment of ever -- ah [bleep].
Can you help me untangle
these two headphones?
They're impossible.
All right. Send him in!
Send him in!
Here we go!
♪♪
Oh! Guys!
Who did I fly in?
[ laughter ]
It's rob emmer!
I flew him in last night!
Murr: Are you serious?
Sal! I need my job!
Come on, sal!
Please! Please!
Please give me my
job back! Please!
Please give me my job!
Please!
He's not even
pulling my pants down.
Pull the pants down.
Pull the pants down.
Fine!
I pulled the pants down!
[ laughter ]
♪♪
[ cheers and applause ]
Who wants to see
the number-one moment?
[ cheers and applause ]
Sal: Yes! Yeah, let's give
the people what they want!
Here is the number-one moment
from the travel shows!
Yeah!
[ cheers and applause ]
Guide: That street
is called new york street.
New york street?
That's a great spot
To stop the tram.
...Right out there.
We actually utilize that --
Uh, the red assistance cord
has just been pulled.
Murr: Q, when he comes over
to you, you have to ask him,
"what time does
the park close?"
[ laughs ]
Yes, sir?
I'm sorry. I missed it
if you said it.
What time does
the park close?
Sir, that's actually
not an emergency.
The park is gonna be
closing today at :.
Okay. I missed that.
Thank you.
Okay.
-Ohh!
-Oh, yeah!
-Murr: , , ...
-Together: Stop!
Guide:
...Get out of town.
Murr: Yeah!
♪♪
Yes?
Q: I just --
I missed what you said.
Sir, I will not
entertain this any longer.
Hey, bro! You're wasting
everybody's time!
-Joe: Wow!
-Murr: Ohh!
Q: I wanna die.
Guide: At this point,
we actually do have to skip
Through certain portions
because now too many trams
Have passed in front of us.
-Stop!
-Pull it!
Guide: ...Department. Gosh
dang it, sir! Get out!
Sir! Get out! Can --
Can -- can we get security?
[ tires squeal ]
-This.
-Which one? This guy?
You're coming out.
[ applause ]
♪♪
Bye!
Joe: Well done.
[ cheers and applause ]
Ah. There you got it.
"highlights from
the high seas," everybody!
-Yes!
-[ speaking indistinctly ]
-Beautiful.
-Thank you so much, guys.
We love you guys,
and we'll see you
On the next cruise
when we talk about traveling.
Murr: Love you, guys.
I probably shouldn't
have been up there.
[ ship horn blares ]
09x09 - OK Zoomer
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
This hidden-camera series follows three lifelong friends -- Brian "Q" Quinn, James "Murr" Murray and Sal Vulcano -- who take dares to an outrageous level.
This hidden-camera series follows three lifelong friends -- Brian "Q" Quinn, James "Murr" Murray and Sal Vulcano -- who take dares to an outrageous level.