(music playing)
(music playing)
(music stops)
(music playing)
(music playing)
[woman] ♪ Are you really
[woman] ♪ Are you really
[woman] ♪ Are you really
♪ When you told me
♪ When you told me
♪ Did you want me to hear? ♪
♪ Did you want me to hear? ♪
♪ Do you really love me
♪ Do you really love me
♪ Do you really love me
♪ Are they just words
♪ Are they just words
♪ And I hear it that way? ♪
♪ And I hear it that way? ♪
♪ I'm not getting ready
♪ I'm not getting ready
♪ I'm not getting ready
♪ I just want to know if you're
♪ I just want to know if you're
♪ I just want to know if you're
♪ I don't want to hear ♪
♪ I don't want to hear ♪
♪ All the things
♪ All the things
♪ I just want you near ♪
♪ I just want you near ♪
♪ So I can't misunderstand you
♪ So I can't misunderstand you
♪ So I can't misunderstand you
(music playing)
(music playing)
[Marci]
[Marci]
My best friend since preschool
My best friend since preschool
What I'm about to tell you
in Cloverdale,
in Cloverdale,
in Cloverdale,
It happened to me and Summer
It happened to me and Summer
Here are some of them,
Here are some of them,
Rod and Tod --
Rod and Tod --
Like,
Like,
just two guys
just two guys
More about them later.
More about them later.
(music playing)
(rats squeaking)
(rats squeaking)
Spike and Scooter.
Spike and Scooter.
A lot more
Summer's cousin Steve,
Summer's cousin Steve,
He's not in the story at all,
He's not in the story at all,
but some of his clothes are.
but some of his clothes are.
Herb Soric,
Herb Soric,
He comes to your house
He comes to your house
like your garbage disposal
and there's a fork
and it, like, eats the fork
and it, like, eats the fork
Anyway, he's in the story.
Anyway, he's in the story.
Anyway, he's in the story.
Mel Ching, the donut king
but not until way at the end --
but not until way at the end --
[man] With two big locations.
[man] With two big locations.
Ahh, doorknobs.
Ahh, doorknobs.
I knew I had two more.
I knew I had two more.
[Marci] Doris Trowbridge
People in town call her
People in town call her
Jewel Deluxe.
But me and Summer don't.
But me and Summer don't.
Manufactured by Higgins and Son,
Manufactured by Higgins and Son,
Not that she isn't, weird I
Not that she isn't, weird I
These are little beauties.
These are little beauties.
She never finished high school
She never finished high school
because she had to have
because she had to have
and couldn't be around germs.
Certainly will.
Certainly will.
Now we have four crystal
Now we have four crystal
How much does that make?
Have you had that in school yet?
Have you had that in school yet?
What a lovely boy.
What a lovely boy.
What a bright boy.
You're dressed like a bee today,
You're dressed like a bee today,
I think she might be weird
the total
the total
like learning what's cool
I mean, you can just look
I mean, you can just look
and tell she never got
and tell she never got
You're funny looking.
[woman] Oh, Josh!
[woman] Oh, Josh!
(chuckles)
[woman] Please don't...
[woman] Please don't...
make a game
make a game
Josh needs to understand
Josh needs to understand
Josh, you hurt that woman's
Josh, you hurt that woman's
Mommy's upset.
[Josh] She is funny looking.
[Josh] She is funny looking.
[woman]
[woman]
Not everyone is as fortunate
Not everyone is as fortunate
-[Josh] They're not?
Another person in the story
Another person in the story
-[Marci] Regina Lee Savage.
-[Marci] Regina Lee Savage.
what is it
Absolutely everything.
You are a loser, Charles.
You are a loser, Charles.
You have the smell of defeat
You have the smell of defeat
[Marci] She doesn't live
[Marci] She doesn't live
She's on "Carlton Plaza,"
She's on "Carlton Plaza,"
Charles.
Charles.
Charles, who is Charles?
(music playing)
(music playing)
Jennifer Martin.
Jennifer Martin.
Jennifer has been eating
Jennifer has been eating
You know the type --
You know the type --
Hangs out with 11th graders
Hangs out with 11th graders
(scoffs)
(scoffs)
It's just that girls like her
without ever having to
without ever having to
without ever having to
Beauty, talent, good hair,
Beauty, talent, good hair,
Then,
Then,
(mechanical chair whirring)
(mechanical chair whirring)
Okay, Marci, just want you
Okay, Marci, just want you
Ow! Ow.
Ow! Ow.
This is Summer.
This is Summer.
(dental drill whirring
Okay, now open wide.
Okay, now open wide.
-[Marci] We do
Which includes getting
Which includes getting
on the first and third Fridays
on the first and third Fridays
Now hold it right...
Now hold it right...
there.
Don't move.
Hur--
Hur--
[Payne ] You've been drinking
[Payne ] You've been drinking
Remember we discussed sodas?
-[Marci] It hurts ri' now.
-[Marci] It hurts ri' now.
Ah! Ah!
Ah! Ah!
(telephone ringing)
Ooh. Just a sec.
Ooh. Just a sec.
Summer's dad is this,
Summer's dad is this,
And he helped invent
And he helped invent
There was an article about it
There was an article about it
Summer's still trying
Synthetic saliva doesn't have
Synthetic saliva doesn't have
except that if it starts
except that if it starts
just remember -- anything
just remember -- anything
where people pay money
where people pay money
-(machine whirring)
-(machine whirring)
-(Summer grunts)
-[Summer] Ah!
Sorry. That's my fault.
Sorry. That's my fault.
We were getting our bands
instead of afternoon
instead of afternoon
Spring vacation, which is when
Spring vacation, which is when
You probably noticed
You probably noticed
It's a major deal
It's a major deal
There's a carnival
There's a carnival
(music playing)
You have to be at least
You have to be at least
to get into
to get into
So me and Summer started
because we generally don't like
because we generally don't like
until the last minute.
until the last minute.
(music playing)
(music playing)
This is us waiting
the first year we went.
the first year we went.
-[both] One, two --
-[both] One, two --
Us the next year,
Us the next year,
for all the good it did us.
(music playing)
(music playing)
Us last year,
Us last year,
And, like, probably us
And, like, probably us
(music playing)
Wait! Wait, wait, wait.
Wait! Wait, wait, wait.
(video rewinding)
(video rewinding)
I forgot to tell you
(music playing)
(music playing)
The one thing Doris likes more
The one thing Doris likes more
on TV even is yard sales.
on TV even is yard sales.
She even bought her car
She even bought her car
She goes to every single one
She goes to every single one
It's where most of the stuff
(indistinct conversations)
(indistinct conversations)
(indistinct conversations)
[man] That's really special.
That belonged to my wife's
That belonged to my wife's
or somebody.
Came from Europe.
Came from Europe.
Oh, it's very interesting.
-(box rattling)
-(box rattling)
It rattles.
$35.
$35.
Oh. Oh, no. I -- I mean
Oh. Oh, no. I -- I mean
Oh, do you have the key?
$10.
Alright.
Alright.
(chuckles)
This is a better view
that handyman guy
that handyman guy
Now, watch this.
Now, watch this.
(music playing)
(muttering indistinctly)
(muttering indistinctly)
I dreamed I went to Manderley
I dreamed I went to Manderley
I dreamed I went to Manderley
What?
You were showing some interest
in "Rebecca," Herb.
in "Rebecca," Herb.
I never took you for a romantic.
I never took you for a romantic.
You -- You know this one
You -- You know this one
Word for word, almost.
Word for word, almost.
It's funny.
It's funny.
I can remember things like that,
but I can't remember
but I can't remember
like where I put my car keys.
like where I put my car keys.
(chuckles)
Did you check the ignition?
Did you check the ignition?
Oh...No, I --
Oh...No, I --
That was --
That was --
of the kinds of things
compared to the ki--
compared to the ki--
(chuckles)
You know what?
You know what?
(music playing)
(music playing)
-[Herb] Well --
-[Herb] Well --
Oh, sor--
You know what?
You know what?
They could probably go on like
They could probably go on like
So, let's take a look
So, let's take a look
It'll become important
It'll become important
I hope you find the keys.
Oh, okay.
Oh, okay.
Oh!
Told ya.
Anyway, you get the idea
Anyway, you get the idea
Oh, and one last thing
Oh, and one last thing
me and Summer
It's like this job we got
It's like this job we got
It's like this job we got
Doris pays us $10 each
Doris pays us $10 each
Her store smells
but not so bad
but not so bad
I guess.
Charles is Monica's
Charles is Monica's
Monica has a brother-in-law?
Monica has a brother-in-law?
"Popular daytime drama star
Regina Lee Savage,
Regina Lee Savage,
comments on this week's
comments on this week's
about Monica's brother-in-law
about Monica's brother-in-law
Details plus color
Details plus color
And why is Charles a loser?
I don't know.
I don't know.
[Doris] She said so yesterday.
She said he had the smell
She said he had the smell
Maybe he needs a bath.
Maybe he needs a bath.
[Marci] Good one, Summer.
Short-term memory loss.
Short-term memory loss.
It's the thing that bothers me
It's the thing that bothers me
[Summer] Really?
Because, I think that
Because, I think that
Because, I think that
And, like, hair
And, like, hair
And yellow toenails.
And, like, major saggies.
And, like, major saggies.
(cuckoo clock dings)
(cuckoo clock dings)
[Marci] Summer's right, Doris.
Forgetting stuff is pretty
Forgetting stuff is pretty
Like, with all the other stuff,
Like, with all the other stuff,
That's my advice.
That's my advice.
It made me and Summer
It made me and Summer
Doris up sometimes.
Doris up sometimes.
(telephone ringing)
Hello. Oh.
Hello. Oh.
(telephone continues ringing,
Hello?
Hello?
Yes.
Yes, this is Ms. Trowbridge.
I was calling you
I was calling you
in front of my shop
in front of my shop
Hold?
What's this?
(giggles)
(giggles)
It's a knight light.
(laughs)
(laughs)
I don't get it.
I don't get it.
Knight light.
(grandfather clock dinging)
(grandfather clock dinging)
Summer, are you getting enough
Summer, are you getting enough
[Marci]
[Marci]
Yes? Yes, I'll hold.
-[Marci] You bought two rats?
-[Marci] You bought two rats?
Mary Cunningham's son James
Mary Cunningham's son James
so she put them up for sale.
so she put them up for sale.
Poor little things.
Poor little things.
Oh, yeah.
Remember, James would come
Remember, James would come
and be all, like, "My rats ate
and be all, like, "My rats ate
[Summer]
on account of rats
on account of rats
We had one in our garage
and it ate the fan belt
and it ate the fan belt
-[Marci] Yeah?
They got names or anything?
They got names or anything?
Oh, yes, perfectly
Oh, yes, perfectly
Um, Spike and, um...
and -- and Scooter.
and -- and Scooter.
But couldn't tell you
But couldn't tell you
(sighs)
(sighs)
(music playing)
(music playing)
Now, back to me and Summer
Now, back to me and Summer
and band tightening.
and band tightening.
[Payne] Chew these, please.
Uh, I promise to brush better.
Uh, I promise to brush better.
[Payne] And these will help you,
[Payne] And these will help you,
by turning your teeth black...
by turning your teeth black...
(dental drill whirring
...temporarily, to show you
...temporarily, to show you
...temporarily, to show you
You wanna know where your plaque
You wanna know where your plaque
Seriously, I know where
Seriously, I know where
And I brush everywhere they are.
And I brush everywhere they are.
[woman] Could someone come
Uh-huh.
Well, if you brush, floss,
Well, if you brush, floss,
Well, if you brush, floss,
adequately
then you have nothing
then you have nothing
(man screaming, dental tools
(man screaming, dental tools
But if you've not been truthful,
But if you've not been truthful,
black teeth
-(man screams)
-(man screams)
Okay, Marci.
Thank you.
Thank you.
The high school football team's
The high school football team's
so I can always be sure of
so I can always be sure of
just at the right moment.
just at the right moment.
(boys laughing)
(boys laughing)
(gasps)
(gasps)
Chew these, Summer.
Chew these, Summer.
The thing is, no matter
The thing is, no matter
it can always get worse.
it can always get worse.
Oof!
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry.
Summer, do you ever find that
Summer, do you ever find that
Summer, do you ever find that
Like, even stranger
Like, even stranger
that happens every day.
Like what?
Like what?
Like, already today you almost
Like, already today you almost
I almost got
I almost got
and we both got
and we both got
and it's not even 10:00 yet.
Don't you find that strange?
Don't you find that strange?
-[Summer] Compared to what?
Marci. Summer.
Marci. Summer.
I love it that we happened
I love it that we happened
Can I see you?
Guys, I'm trying to talk.
Move on.
Move on.
God, they sound like dead cats.
God, they sound like dead cats.
As you know, tonight's
door prizes, exciting rides,
door prizes, exciting rides,
Like who?
Like who?
Like me.
I'm being honored for winning
I'm being honored for winning
And some others being
They're listed at the bottom.
They're listed at the bottom.
Unfortunately,
Unfortunately,
my neighbor needs someone
who just had this
who just had this
who just had this
And of course I can't do it
and because I have a date --
and because I have a date --
You probably don't know him
You probably don't know him
Jennifer?
-[Jennifer] Hmm?
-[Jennifer] Hmm?
I'm leaving in ten seconds even
I'm leaving in ten seconds even
Well, maybe you wouldn't mind
Well, maybe you wouldn't mind
to help an unfortunate
to help an unfortunate
You could order pizza
You could order pizza
and probably have
and probably have
Better even.
After all, it's better
After all, it's better
and standing against the wall
which is all you'll ever do your
which is all you'll ever do your
which is all you'll ever do your
(music playing)
[announcer] And now the
[announcer] And now the
"The Fairy Princess
"The Fairy Princess
Plus some mushrooms
Plus some mushrooms
without being noticed.
(laughter)
I forget the real name
I forget the real name
but it was something
but it was something
We'd love to help you out,
Jennifer, but, um,
Jennifer, but, um,
Really? Who?
Really? Who?
These guys.
That we know and you don't
That we know and you don't
(chuckles)
(chuckles)
That's so great.
So I guess I'll you tonight.
So I guess I'll you tonight.
Let's go.
You and your dates.
You and your dates.
Oh...
you are so right about all those
you are so right about all those
you are so right about all those
happening to us, Marci.
Don't you think it's a little
Don't you think it's a little
Jennifer we have dates when she
Jennifer we have dates when she
and she is so gonna be telling
and she is so gonna be telling
and everyone is gonna be
and everyone is gonna be
I'm not even gonna go!
I'm not even gonna go!
Summer was right, of course.
Summer was right, of course.
I had set into motion the
to be our most serious
to be our most serious
to be our most serious
Little did I know
Little did I know
had been set
had been set
(woman singing opera music)
(woman singing opera music)
Years of yard sales
for Weird Doris
for Weird Doris
that no one could hardly
that no one could hardly
Hmm.
Hmm.
(sighs)
(sighs)
I wish my eyes were perfect.
(music playing)
(music playing)
Oh.
Oh.
Oh, my.
Oh, my.
Oh, my.
Oh, my.
Oh, my.
I wish...
I wish I had different hair.
I wish I had different hair.
(Doris screams,
(Doris screams,
(boys grunting)
(boys grunting)
(bicycle bells ding)
I can't even believe
I can't even believe
Summer, I said
Summer, I said
And they're guys.
And they're guys.
And -- And besides,
Tod calls you up.
Tod calls you up.
Yeah, to burp the alphabet.
I am so sure I wanna be seen
burping the alphabet
burping the alphabet
Hey!
Hey!
We wanna ask you guys something.
We wanna ask you guys something.
Yeah, you wanna see something
See? I told you
See? I told you
(burping)
[Rod] This is so cool.
[Rod] This is so cool.
Watch this!
Aah!
Aah!
(laughs)
(laughs)
That's so cool.
He hit the trash cans.
He hit the trash cans.
Well, that's the --
Well, that's the --
(Rod continues laughing)
(Rod continues laughing)
It looks like he's dead.
Well, that's the other
Well, that's the other
(laughs)
(laughs)
Anyway,
(laughs)
Skip it.
Skip it.
[Tod] Hey, what'd they want?
(chuckles) I don't know.
(chuckles) I don't know.
It's my fault, and I admit it.
It's my fault, and I admit it.
I say we just
I say we just
So we get laughed at a little.
So we get laughed at a little.
There are worse things.
Yeah? Name one.
Yeah? Name one.
Shh!
Doris having
all of a sudden
all of a sudden
What was surprising is the way
What was surprising is the way
Not the way she said it,
Not the way she said it,
I wished for it.
I wished for it.
And I got it.
Isn't it the strangest thing?
Isn't it the strangest thing?
Wanna touch it?
-[Marci] No, thanks.
-[Marci] No, thanks.
You girls notice
You girls notice
unusual about me?
Come on, girls.
I'm sorry, Doris,
but it's really hard
but it's really hard
I don't have to
I don't have to
Watch this.
"No user serviceable parts
"No user serviceable parts
(Doris chuckles)
(Doris chuckles)
"Opening case voids warranty."
"Opening case voids warranty."
(Doris giggles)
(Doris giggles)
Look, start, stop, start, stop.
(laughs)
(laughs)
I have perfect vision
I have perfect vision
because I wished for it.
because I wished for it.
Smile, Marc.
Smile, Marc.
Summer, hello!
(laughs)
(laughs)
I think it has to do
I think it has to do
Too many years
Too many years
Um, Doris, maybe you got
Um, Doris, maybe you got
and then just forgot
and then just forgot
Totally understandable.
Totally understandable.
Summer, remember the knight
Summer, remember the knight
Summer, think.
Summer, think.
I turned him into a real knight.
I turned him into a real knight.
He's in the back room.
Come on, girls.
Come on, girls.
Come on, I'll show you.
If this ever happens to me,
If this ever happens to me,
(giggling)
(giggling)
(music playing)
(music playing)
Ta-da!
Ta-da!
(laughs)
Oh. Oh, no. He --
Oh. Oh, no. He --
He must've gone out when --
He must've gone out when --
Yes. See? The back door's open.
He's -- He's gone out.
He's -- He's gone out.
Here, Summer, here, you try.
Make a wish, anything,
Make a wish, anything,
Okay.
Okay.
Um...
I wish for a couple of cool guys
I wish for a couple of cool guys
so we don't get laughed at.
so we don't get laughed at.
Summer, I said I was sorry.
Okay?
Okay?
Maybe there's cool guys
...open an artery over it?
...open an artery over it?
No, I don't want you to open
You wouldn't do it anyways.
You wouldn't do it anyways.
[Marci]
You are so obsessed
You are so obsessed
All those guys think...
All those guys think...
I wish they had boys to...
whatever it was they wanted.
(Summer shouting indistinctly)
(Summer shouting indistinctly)
(opera music stops)
Um, Doris?
Um, Doris?
"Carlton Plaza" is on.
Uh, why don't you sit here
Uh, why don't you sit here
Sorry.
-[Marci] ...and watch it?
-[Marci] ...and watch it?
I'll turn it on.
And we can come back when
And we can come back when
(gasps) Maybe...
(gasps) Maybe...
three wishes.
three wishes.
I -- I made three wishes,
I -- I made three wishes,
and that's all you usually get.
and that's all you usually get.
I wasted one on hair
I wasted one on hair
and one on a knight
and one on a knight
So, we're gonna go now.
So, we're gonna go now.
Okay, Doris?
Okay, Doris?
Okay?
Okay?
Bye, Doris.
(music playing on television)
(music playing on television)
[man] The new big location.
[man] The new big location.
...sale at Donut King's
...sale at Donut King's
on Front Street and East
on Front Street and East
coming soon
Take back the hair
Take back the hair
[woman] And now,
[woman] And now,
(sighs)
This isn't you talking, Monica.
This isn't you talking, Monica.
It's some stranger
It's some stranger
You've tormented me
You've tormented me
threatening to ruin me
threatening to ruin me
Maybe I'm wishing the wrong way.
Maybe I'm wishing the wrong way.
It's too late
It's too late
Justin, how are you?
That's it.
That's it.
(breathing heavily)
(g*nsh*t fires)
(g*nsh*t fires)
(rats squeaking)
Ow.
Ow.
Oh, stupid, stupid.
You think I'm a fool!
You think I'm a fool!
(g*nsh*t fires)
Ow!
Ow!
Ow!
Oh, great, just what I need,
Oh, great, just what I need,
A lot of people wish
A lot of people wish
[Doris]
[Doris]
(gasps)
(gasps)
(grandfather clock dinging)
No!
No!
Don't you think it's scary?
I mean, don't you ever worry
I mean, don't you ever worry
We are not gonna turn
We are not gonna turn
That so won't happen.
That so won't happen.
How do you know?
I mean, I bet even Doris
I mean, I bet even Doris
she was gonna turn into Doris.
she was gonna turn into Doris.
Summer, there are lots of
why we won't turn into Doris.
why we won't turn into Doris.
Name one.
Name one.
Okay.
In 11 months for me,
In 11 months for me,
we are gonna have totally
and correct jaw lines.
and correct jaw lines.
There's one right there.
Name another one.
Name another one.
We both got our own kidneys.
(tires screech,
(tires screech,
[Doris] Yoo-hoo! Girls!
[Doris] Yoo-hoo! Girls!
Woo! (laughs)
Woo! (laughs)
Girls!
I'm gonna get my mom, Marci,
I'm gonna get my mom, Marci,
-[Doris] Yoo-hoo,
-[Doris] Yoo-hoo,
That's not Doris.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my gosh.
That's popular daytime
That's popular daytime
Ta-dah!
Why are you in Doris's car?
Why are you in Doris's car?
[Doris] Because, I'm Doris.
[Doris] Because, I'm Doris.
I can explain.
You can try.
You can try.
(music playing)
(music playing)
It wasn't the -- Oh.
It wasn't the three wishes thing
It wasn't the three wishes thing
It was the Cinderella thing.
Did the fairy godmother
Did the fairy godmother
out of thin air?
out of thin air?
No!
No!
She had to make something
So she turned a pumpkin and mice
So she turned a pumpkin and mice
So she turned a pumpkin and mice
And you turned yourself
And you turned yourself
Well, not all at once,
First I got the legs.
First I got the legs.
And they came...
And they came...
with heels and pantyhose.
with heels and pantyhose.
And then, bit by bit,
And then, bit by bit,
I got the bow
I got the bow
(laughs)
You know, things like this,
You know, things like this,
once you start
And the clothes?
And the clothes?
Well, I don't know.
Well, I don't know.
Maybe it's like Barbie.
[Marci] That kinda made sense.
[Marci] That kinda made sense.
I mean Barbie always did come
I mean Barbie always did come
(exhales sharply) If you're,
(exhales sharply) If you're,
(exhales sharply) If you're,
Well, who else
Well, who else
a semi-restored 1956
a semi-restored 1956
You could've stolen it.
You could've stolen it.
Good one, Summer.
Tell us something
Tell us something
You two are desperate for dates
You two are desperate for dates
because you don't have any
because you don't have any
Everyone so knows!
Everyone so knows!
-[Summer] Oh!
I'm not finished.
I'm not finished.
No, but we are. Mom!
Swear to God, Marci, I am
Swear to God, Marci, I am
Summer.
Summer.
[Doris] Aren't they cute?
[Doris] Aren't they cute?
Isn't this what you wanted?
Isn't this what you wanted?
-[Judy] Summer!
-[Judy] Summer!
Here's some crackers.
Here's some crackers.
[Judy] Summer?
[Doris]
[Judy]
[Judy]
Ooh, athletic too.
Ooh, athletic too.
Here, you're gonna need these.
Bye!
[Marci] Wait.
[Marci] Wait.
-[Judy] You sounded --
-[Judy] You sounded --
-[Summer] It was a mistake.
[Marci] What?!
Who are they?
Who are they?
Uh...
these guys.
these guys.
Oh, do I know them?
Oh, probably not.
Oh, probably not.
Summer, can I see you a sec?
Oh, would they like to come in?
Oh, would they like to come in?
I don't actually, like, know.
I don't actually, like, know.
Summer!
You know we like
Ask them in.
Ask them in.
Oh, I know what it's like
Oh, I know what it's like
I'll be cool.
Summer!
Summer!
(both chuckles nervously)
-[Marci] Whoa.
-[Marci] Whoa.
Really gotta tell you something.
Really gotta tell you something.
-[Summer] Who are they?
-[Summer] Where did
-[Summer] Where did
She wasn't joking about
Hello, boys.
Hello, boys.
I'm Judy Weingarten,
I'm Judy Weingarten,
They're rats?
Summer, that's not cute.
Summer, that's not cute.
And who are you?
Oh, um, they -- they, you know,
Oh, um, they -- they, you know,
um, they don't speak
um, they don't speak
um, they don't speak
Oh.
Are these the boys I read
Are these the boys I read
Hmm? The foreign
Hmm? The foreign
Sweden?
Sweden?
Actually the exchange students
But...you know.
But...you know.
Sweden.
Sweden.
Sweden!
Sweden!
-(bird cawing)
Oh, that's right,
Oh, that's right,
(laughs)
(laughs)
Names?
Sweden.
Sweden.
Yes, Sweden.
Yes, Sweden.
What are your names?
What are your names?
They really have to go.
Bye, guys.
[Judy] Summer Ann.
[Judy] Summer Ann.
Uh, Mom, you don't understand.
Uh, Mom, you don't understand.
(whispering) Go, please go.
[Judy]
It's hard enough
It's hard enough
-[Judy] be in another culture...
...without people being rude.
...without people being rude.
Now, they learn about us from
Now, they learn about us from
It's a well-known fact
It's a well-known fact
It's a well-known fact
with her Electrolux
with her Electrolux
In my opinion, there are
In my opinion, there are
So, I'll just be outside,
So, I'll just be outside,
(birds chirping)
(birds chirping)
Summer, don't panic,
We have to do
We have to do
(telephone ringing)
Pick up, Doris, please pick up,
Pick up, Doris, please pick up,
She's not there.
Well, where is she?
Well, where is she?
Summer, how am
Summer, how am
Like, she's got a hot bod,
anything could happen,
anything could happen,
Summer, it's not polite
Summer, it's not polite
so you can talk on the phone.
-[Summer] We're not.
-[Summer] We're not.
You have guests.
(clattering in distance)
(clattering in distance)
(both gasp)
Personally, I never eat
Personally, I never eat
on account of
I just can't get by it.
I just can't get by it.
But it is so obvious that not
But it is so obvious that not
or anything would stop
who ate Jim Cunningham's
who ate Jim Cunningham's
homework three different
homework three different
(gasps)
(purring)
(purring)
Bad. Bad rats!
Bad. Bad rats!
Sweden!
Sweden.
Sweden.
Yeah, you stay back!
This cat's a k*ller.
This cat's a k*ller.
Guard 'em.
You may remember him
You may remember him
Cats. Oh!
Cats. Oh!
This is not what I need
This is not what I need
Summer?
Summer?
I don't feel right leaving 'em
Well, the rat that was in there
Well, the rat that was in there
[Judy] Oh, Summer?
[Judy] Oh, Summer?
Ah-ha, yeah, listen
Ah-ha, yeah, listen
(Summer gasps)
Um...how's it goin' boys?
Um...how's it goin' boys?
Listen,
and pick up some things and, uh,
and pick up some things and, uh,
then I should talk to them
then I should talk to them
No, no, no, no!
No, no, no, no!
They ate my garage door!
They ate my garage door!
Not all of it.
[Judy]
because I have to be
because I have to be
because I -- I really should
Oh, have the boys seen
Oh, have the boys seen
I think that might be
I think that might be
(clattering in distance)
Now, it's easier
Now, it's easier
when you associate it
when you associate it
Minivan.
(tires screech in distance,
(tires screech in distance,
Mini-van.
[both] Minivan.
[both] Minivan.
[Judy] Can you say airbag?
[Judy] Can you say airbag?
[both] Airbag.
[both] Airbag.
-[both] Mini...mini-van...
-[both] Mini...mini-van...
[Judy]
[both] Airbag.
[both] Airbag.
(music playing)
(music playing)
The plot thickens.
The plot thickens.
Now, Doris was used
Now, Doris was used
But what she probably
is that getting
is that getting
including designer outfit,
including designer outfit,
is way different
is way different
And going to the supermarket
And going to the supermarket
[Doris] Yoo-hoo!
[Doris] Yoo-hoo!
I bet you don't know who I am.
You've gotta expect that
You've gotta expect that
is gonna be a total
is gonna be a total
I've lost a little weight
I've lost a little weight
I also got straight teeth.
I also got straight teeth.
And big hair, although not
And big hair, although not
And perfect vision.
And I grew an inch and a half.
And I grew an inch and a half.
So, hey, what d'ya think?
So, hey, what d'ya think?
Tenth grade English.
Tenth grade English.
You sat right behind me.
You sat right behind me.
You cheated off my test
Huh? Huh?
Huh? Huh?
Huh? Huh?
Come on.
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Oh, I know I shouldn't have
Oh, I know I shouldn't have
taken the shopping cart
but you know what,
but you know what,
so I had to park over here
behind those
behind those
Oh, no, no. That is fine.
That is fine,
That is fine,
You can take the shopping cart
You can take the shopping cart
I can?
I can?
(music playing)
(siren chirps)
(siren chirps)
Excuse me. Excuse me, please.
Excuse me. Excuse me, please.
Excuse me, please.
And I never miss an episode.
And I never miss an episode.
Hello. Excuse me.
What happened to Charles?
And welcome to Cloverdale,
And welcome to Cloverdale,
birthplace of the legendary
birthplace of the legendary
and ancestral home
and ancestral home
I'm Mayor Ed Feldman.
Just call me Mayor Ed.
Just call me Mayor Ed.
And you are Regina Lee Savage?
Well, um...
Well, um...
What you've got
What you've got
-[Doris] Yes? Yes, I'll hold.
the mayor won't even
the mayor won't even
When you're Regina Lee,
When you're Regina Lee,
You are the popular
You are the popular
Anyone would be tempted under
Anyone would be tempted under
Could I talk to you about
Could I talk to you about
(chuckles) Anytime.
(chuckles) Anytime.
[man] ♪ Hey ♪
Well, then I am Regina Lee.
Well, then I am Regina Lee.
(cheers and applause)
(cheers and applause)
Quiet down, everybody.
Please, everybody quiet down.
Uh, listen, uh --
Uh, listen, uh --
Can I have your autograph?
[Ed] No, I'm sorry, darling,
[Ed] No, I'm sorry, darling,
Uh, Miss Savage, we have
Uh, Miss Savage, we have
over at the Kickapoo Expo Hall
over at the Kickapoo Expo Hall
a nondenominational
a nondenominational
We'd love to have you
Me?
Me?
-[Ed] Yes.
[Ed] Please.
[Ed] Please.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, I'm sorry.
-[Ed] What?
What?
She's driving Doris's --
She's driving Doris's --
Let's don't --
Let's don't --
Pay no attention to him.
I'm not even sure he lives here.
I'm not even sure he lives here.
(indistinct shouting)
Hey, do you know Vicky Lawrence?
She was here, two years ago.
She was here, two years ago.
(music playing)
(music playing)
You were supposed to watch 'em
You were supposed to watch 'em
I'm absolutely sure they smelled
I'm absolutely sure they smelled
[Jennifer] See, I want to move
with like a bigger atmosphere.
with like a bigger atmosphere.
I'm thinking Indianapolis.
I'm thinking Indianapolis.
[girl] Why? Why Indianapolis?
I don't know. The culture.
[boy] There you go.
[boy] There you go.
[girls giggle]
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Who are they?
[girl] They're gorgeous. Look.
[girl] They're gorgeous. Look.
[boy] Okay, will there
Yes, get out of the way.
Yes, get out of the way.
[boy] Okay.
(music playing)
(music playing)
I always thought Jennifer might
I always thought Jennifer might
I always thought Jennifer might
I just never thought
I just never thought
I'm sorry. Excuse me.
I'm sorry. Excuse me.
Come here.
Bad rats.
-[Summer] We gotta tie them up.
-[Marci] They'll
-[Marci] They'll
[Marci] And besides,
[Marci] And besides,
Don't be stupid.
Those guys with, like,
Those guys with, like,
and Summer Spit Princess?
and Summer Spit Princess?
(scoffs)
Why do I seriously doubt it?
Why do I seriously doubt it?
Girlfriends, why don't you come
Sit?
With you guys?
With you guys?
(chuckles) God, girlfriend.
She acts like
She acts like
Oh, I'm Jennifer.
[Scooter] Minivan.
[Scooter] Minivan.
They're from Sweden.
They're from Sweden.
[Jennifer] Sweden?
Sweden.
Sweden.
Minivan.
-[Spike] Minivan.
-[Spike] Minivan.
And you guys are showing them
And you guys are showing them
What are your names?
I hope I can pronounce them.
I hope I can pronounce them.
Spike and Scooter.
(chuckles)
(chuckles)
Would you like to join us?
You guys can take a break.
We'll show them around.
We'll show them around.
Spike and Scooter
This is Blair.
This is Blair.
Airbag.
Huh?
Swedish.
Swedish.
-[Blair] Oh.
Hi. Hi.
Hi. Hi.
Hi.
Logic told us that the rat boys
Logic told us that the rat boys
Okay, but, like, sorry,
Okay, but, like, sorry,
with anything
with anything
[Jennifer] In this country
Oh.
Oh.
I don't think there's
[Marci] Uh, that's okay.
[Marci] Uh, that's okay.
We just wanted to make sure
We just wanted to make sure
understood that we were leaving.
It's not a difficult
It's not a difficult
Does my baby want a bite?
Does my baby want a bite?
Yes, he does.
(chuckles nervously)
Well, we have places to be.
Well, we have places to be.
Spike, Scooter,
Spike, Scooter,
Spike, Scooter,
or come with us.
It's up to you.
Bye, girlfriends.
Bye, girlfriends.
Bye.
Bye.
[woman]
[woman]
♪ I don't know nothing ♪
♪ Sock it to me, baby ♪
♪ Sock it to me, baby ♪
♪ I don't know nothing ♪
♪ I don't know
♪ I don't know
(both cheering)
(both cheering)
-[Marci] Yes!
You did good, guys!
You did good, guys!
Did you see her face?
I know.
I know.
Of course.
They already heard I was dating
and didn't wanna cause any...
and didn't wanna cause any...
problems.
It's very thoughtful.
It's very thoughtful.
And also probably very Swedish.
Yeah, that explains you.
Yeah, that explains you.
But what about us?
Yeah.
Yeah.
(music playing)
(music playing)
I don't know.
You guys should probably
You guys should probably
Let's take 'em back to Doris.
Let's take 'em back to Doris.
We might as well take them
Yeah, we could take them
Yeah, we could take them
...you know...
...you know...
...sometime.
...sometime.
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Oh, yeah, sock it to me,
♪ Oh, yeah, sock it to me,
♪ I don't know nothing ♪
♪ I don't know nothing ♪
♪ Sock it to me, baby ♪
♪ Sock it to me, baby ♪
♪ I don't know nothing ♪
♪ I don't know
♪ I don't know
♪ Oh ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ Oh ♪
(music playing)
(music playing)
Oh! Oh, my God, is that Marci?
Oh! Oh, my God, is that Marci?
What do you mean keep them?
Not forever.
Just for tonight.
Just for tonight.
After the dance,
After the dance,
Summer, come on.
We would have guys way cooler
We would have guys way cooler
and for once, even Jennifer.
and for once, even Jennifer.
You are so obsessed
(gasps) I am so not obsessed
(gasps) I am so not obsessed
Look, I just wanna go
Look, I just wanna go
and not have to worry about
and not have to worry about
standing against
standing against
instead of dancing
instead of dancing
Yeah, but, Marci, they're rats.
You liked the rats
Yeah, but I never wanted
Yeah, but I never wanted
I can so feel my face
I can so feel my face
and I just cleared up.
Look, all rats really wanna do
Look, all rats really wanna do
Look, all rats really wanna do
run on the treadmill,
What?!
What?!
Which -- Which,
Summer, doesn't make them
Summer, doesn't make them
Summer, doesn't make them
Most high school guys, anyway.
So we keep feeding them
So we keep feeding them
and that'll keep their mind
and that'll keep their mind
off...the mating aspect
off...the mating aspect
You better go get some nachos.
Yeah.
A double order.
A double order.
[Summer] Okay.
(music playing)
(whines)
(whines)
This is so unfair!
This is so unfair!
Everyone's gonna be
and I'm gonna be here
and I'm gonna be here
(music playing)
(music playing)
None of my other friends
None of my other friends
I have the strictest parents
I have the strictest parents
[Marci] Whining only really
[Marci] Whining only really
And since obviously nobody was,
And since obviously nobody was,
I had only ever sneaked out
I had only ever sneaked out
But I only got caught once.
But I only got caught once.
Aah!
Shh.
Shh.
Herb, just take your evidence,
Herb, just take your evidence,
Herb, just take your evidence,
Hope you can get this
I'll have another talk with her,
I'll have another talk with her,
I can't imagine that
I can't imagine that
Well, frankly I doubt
Well, frankly I doubt
Whatever this is all about,
I'm sure it had nothing to do
I'm sure it had nothing to do
-(loud thud)
Oh.
Oh.
That's the second time today
That's the second time today
I just saw you on TV.
Yeah, everyone thinks
Yeah, everyone thinks
Um, do you think that maybe
Um, do you think that maybe
you're telling
you're telling
Yeah, well,
Yeah, well,
Doris, look, okay, you're
Doris, look, okay, you're
pretending to be
pretending to be
Yeah, you're right.
I'm gonna turn everything
I'm gonna turn everything
It's the best thing.
Go back to being myself.
Go back to being myself.
Now you're making sense.
Turn those boys back into rats.
Turn those boys back into rats.
(sighs)
Don't overreact.
Don't overreact.
Um, your part of the deal
Um, your part of the deal
But Summer and me, our part
But Summer and me, our part
But Summer and me, our part
-(indistinct shouting)
Oh, um, Herb the handyman guy,
Oh, um, Herb the handyman guy,
-[Doris] (gasps) Oh!
-[Doris] (gasps) Oh!
First we've got to go
We have to take a little ride,
We have to take a little ride,
Just go get in the car.
Just go get in the car.
But I'm alive,
But I'm alive,
Looked in the mirror lately?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh. (chuckles)
It's Doris they think is k*lled,
It's Doris they think is k*lled,
and Herb thinks that you did it.
Just use the ring,
Just use the ring,
and then show them.
and then show them.
Oh.
About the ring...
About the ring...
[Marci] Lost it!
(dog barking in distance)
(dog barking in distance)
Yes.
You have to help me find it.
You have to help me find it.
I'm absolutely positive
I'm absolutely positive
or at the market, or --
or back at my store, or --
or back at my store, or --
but, anyway,
but, anyway,
and I'll take everything else.
But I -- I'm grounded.
But I -- I'm grounded.
And besides, I was just
And besides, I was just
And besides, I was just
[Doris] Marce, please.
[Doris] Marce, please.
Please?
(music playing)
(music playing)
Everybody's gonna be
Everybody's gonna be
I so can't believe it.
I so can't believe it.
They're talking?
You look so good in pink.
You look so good in pink.
I'm so not believing it.
(giggles)
(giggles)
Oh, my God, you guys.
Spike and Scooter had
Spike and Scooter had
that belonged
Steve, who joined the army.
Steve, who joined the army.
[Summer] No!
[Summer] No!
(music playing)
The fact that they had
The fact that they had
instead of eating
instead of eating
that things were now
that things were now
Get back. Get back.
Yo, Ding Dongs.
Yo, Ding Dongs.
I'm there.
I'm there.
[Judy]
[Judy]
Okay.
Okay.
So that's Marci, so we're going
So that's Marci, so we're going
No talking.
(music playing)
(music playing)
I didn't know you two
I didn't know you two
(chuckles) Only since forever.
Girlfriend, hi.
Girlfriend, hi.
[Judy] We are so proud of you
Junior Miss Indiana, Jennifer.
Junior Miss Indiana, Jennifer.
I know, everybody is.
-[Jennifer] Airbag.
-[Jennifer] Airbag.
-[Jennifer] Airbag.
Oh, the boys are back.
Me and Marci were
Me and Marci were
Oh, poor Marci.
Oh, poor Marci.
She's been grounded.
At least, that's
At least, that's
so, I thought, why don't
so, I thought, why don't
and the boys too.
I mean if they were here.
I mean if they were here.
Randy Frasier's
He's a junior
He's a junior
And, as he's my former
And, as he's my former
When did you break up?
Some time tonight.
Some time tonight.
Oh.
-[Scooter] No talking.
No. He's right.
No. He's right.
No. He's right.
Randy should be the first
He's been loyal,
He's been loyal,
He's been loyal,
But in the meantime,
I thought you guys might like
I thought you guys might like
[Judy] Oh.
You're so obsessed
You're so obsessed
I so can't believe it.
I guess it's a yes.
Don't worry, Mrs. Weingarten,
Don't worry, Mrs. Weingarten,
I get that all the time.
I get that all the time.
Well, as long as Marci's
Come on, girlfriend.
Come on, girlfriend.
I'm so not obsessed
You can be with Summer then.
You can be with Summer then.
(music playing)
(music playing)
[man] ♪ Hey ♪
(telephone ringing in distance)
(siren wailing in distance)
(siren wailing in distance)
Okay, Herb, I want you
Okay, Herb, I want you
Just have a seat.
Yeah, it's Henderson.
Yeah, it's Henderson.
Uh, I got that guy
Uh, I got that guy
He's waiting here in the lobby.
Just send somebody down,
pick him up and take him
pick him up and take him
Okay?
Just a second.
Somebody ripped off
Somebody ripped off
I want justice.
I want justice.
Hello?
Hey. Hey, get out here.
Hey. Hey, get out here.
Get off your coffee break.
It's time to deal with me.
It's time to deal with me.
Come on, I can't play my --
H-Have a seat right here.
Someone will be --
Someone will be --
I'm bummed, man.
I'm bummed, man.
Understandable. Mm-hmm.
Come with me, please.
Come with me, please.
Yo. That was fast.
I got four months left
I got four months left
It's expensive.
(music playing)
(music playing)
(telephone ringing)
Hello?
Hello?
Yes, yes, Rod, yes
Yes, yes, Rod, yes
Uh, no. No, I don't think
Uh, no. No, I don't think
-[Rod] Tod.
-[Rod] Tod.
-[Donna] Well, you're Rod.
[Rod] Marci came over
[Rod] Marci came over
-[Donna] Excuse me?
-[Donna] The what?
-[Donna] The what?
I don't know anything
I don't know anything
-[Rod] Ugh!
Do we know anything
Do we know anything
Do we know anything
-[Chuck] Rod?
Do we know a boy named Tod?
Do we know a boy named Tod?
No.
I think we better talk
I think we better talk
[Marci] (snoring, muttering)
[Marci] (snoring, muttering)
Something about
Something about
I --
I --
(snoring continues)
(snoring stops)
(sighs)
Marci.
(music playing)
(music playing)
You mean she's gone?
[Marci] I had so, like,
[Marci] I had so, like,
look for the ring on account
look for the ring on account
and I couldn't let her down
I was hoping that
I was hoping that
left to go to the dance, too.
It's very important.
It's very important.
Did you happen to a --
-[boy] Nope.
-[boy] Nope.
It turned out that there was.
It turned out that there was.
Man.
[Doris] Why can't you find
[Doris] Why can't you find
In movies, they're big
In movies, they're big
They show up
They show up
I got the new body.
I got the great shoes.
I got the great shoes.
I got the hair.
I got the hair.
Same ol' memory.
What have I done with this ring
What have I done with this ring
and why did I buy
and why did I buy
I don't care if they're on sale.
I don't care if they're on sale.
(music playing)
(music playing)
(engine starts)
-[Herb] Hands up!
-[Herb] Hands up!
Oh, look, okay, hands down,
Oh, look, okay, hands down,
Was that a g*n in his pocket?
(indistinct conversations,
(indistinct conversations,
(indistinct conversations,
I was pretty out of breath
I figured I had
I figured I had
with Spike,
then figure out someplace
then figure out someplace
to store them
And then get back home
And then get back home
It all seemed pretty doable.
It all seemed pretty doable.
Until...
(music playing)
(music playing)
Betrayed!
Betrayed!
Jennifer had won again.
Jennifer had won again.
She had the two coolest guys
eating right out
eating right out
and my best friend
and my best friend
This was a wound so deep and --
This was a wound so deep and --
This was a wound so deep and --
I need to --
...that I...you know...
...that I...you know...
Okay, do you remember
Well -- Well, she --
Well -- Well, she --
..."Twilight Zone,"
-(Marci stammering)
-(Marci stammering)
Will you quit it?!
Will you quit it?!
Will you quit it?!
[Rod]
You remember Tod, right?
You remember Tod, right?
I don't know a guy named
This is what I'm trying
This is what I'm trying
I so hope you are
I so hope you are
Ugh!
Marci!
Jennifer said you were grounded.
Jennifer said you were grounded.
Oh? And you were so quick
Oh? And you were so quick
You weren't grounded?
Yes, I was so grounded,
Yes, I was so grounded,
I can't even believe you!
I can't even believe you!
The point is that Tod --
-[Marci] The point is --
-[Marci] The point is --
-[Rod] Tod! Tod!
and the only point is that --
and the only point is that --
[Ed] Excuse me, son.
Jennifer...
Jennifer...
I need to speak to you
...my so-called friend --
...my so-called friend --
[Ed] Can we go somewhere
[Ed] Can we go somewhere
(exhales sharply)
The point is, is that while you
The point is, is that while you
The point is, is that while you
Doris was in desperate
Desperate, okay?
Desperate, okay?
And I, and only I, and I alone,
And I, and only I, and I alone,
Summer, was the only
in a time of crisis
in a time of crisis
How bad do you feel now?
How bad do you feel now?
Doris is in trouble?
Doris is in trouble?
Don't try and change
(music playing on radio)
(music playing on radio)
(music playing on radio)
(music stops)
Oh, darn, high heels.
Oh, darn, high heels.
How does anybody walk
Ouch.
Ouch.
(metal creaking)
(metal creaking)
Oh.
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy.
-[Doris] You must
Okay, back away from the knight.
And no funny business.
And no funny business.
You got me?
Mm-hmm.
You know what this is,
You know what this is,
Well, um...
Well, um...
a-actually I do.
Oh, yeah?
Oh, yeah?
It's a -- It's a --
It's a -- It's a --
Oh.
Don't make me use it, I will.
Don't make me use it, I will.
Oh, Herb.
This isn't like you.
This isn't like you.
(metal squeaks)
(metal squeaks)
How come you know so much
How come you know so much
And -- and the thing
even Doris didn't know
even Doris didn't know
Oh, yes, she did.
She did, Herb, because she knew
She did, Herb, because she knew
in with your father
in with your father
Alright, uh, inside.
Alright, uh, inside.
Inside.
(telephone ringing)
Hello?
Hello?
Oh, hi, Donna.
No.
No, she didn't come over here.
No, she didn't come over here.
It's always bad news
what they think is going on.
what they think is going on.
[Donna]
[Donna]
I don't wanna upset you,
with Marci earlier.
In calling, around I heard
In calling, around I heard
Marci and Summer were at
Marci and Summer were at
in the mall this afternoon,
in the mall this afternoon,
Summer.
(record scratches)
(record scratches)
And who was doing this?
[girls]
[girls]
[girls]
[Marci] Yes, you did.
[Summer] No I didn't.
[Summer] No I didn't.
Yes, you did.
No, I didn't.
No, I didn't.
[Marci] Yes, you did.
[Summer] No, I didn't.
[Marci] Yes, you did.
[Marci] Yes, you did.
[Summer] No, I didn't.
-[Marci] Fine.
I'll just take Spike and Scooter
I'll just take Spike and Scooter
One belongs to me.
One belongs to me.
-[Marci] Fine.
(both gasp)
(both gasp)
(music playing)
Hey!
Hey!
Summer, we've been ripped off.
Summer, we've been ripped off.
[Ed] Now, Jennifer,
[Ed] Now, Jennifer,
(crying)
I know, dear, and we'll
I know, dear, and we'll
But we have a real
But we have a real
[Marci] Something had happened.
For the first time in her life,
For the first time in her life,
was not getting honored
was not getting honored
Mel, Mel. Please.
Mel, Mel. Please.
Right after Regina Lee Savage,
Right after Regina Lee Savage,
I'll acknowledge Mel Ching of
I'll acknowledge Mel Ching of
(gasps)
Yeah, The Donut King supplied
Yeah, The Donut King supplied
all the refreshments
For that
For that
My pleasure, Mayor Ed.
And my wife's nephew, Han Woo,
And my wife's nephew, Han Woo,
And my wife's nephew, Han Woo,
I'm after The Donut King's
I'm after The Donut King's
Well, how often do we have a
Well, how often do we have a
Just put those boxes
Just put those boxes
Now, I'm sure you understand.
Now, I'm sure you understand.
But she didn't understand.
And like, right then, you know,
And like, right then, you know,
And like, right then, you know,
was like this
was like this
that was not equipped
where your brain
where your brain
or your nose broken or even
or your nose broken or even
I, like, started hoping
I, like, started hoping
Jennifer's side,
Jennifer's side,
because she couldn't
because she couldn't
(music playing)
Well,
Well,
Well,
Or Jennifer down either.
Hey, Ed, we got a problem.
Hey, Ed, we got a problem.
Herb Soric is holding
Herb Soric is holding
[both] Uh-oh.
[Ed] What?!
[Ed] What?!
(music playing)
I suggest we go on
I suggest we go on
Me first, you second, no nephew.
Me first, you second, no nephew.
[man] ♪ Hey ♪
[Henderson] He phoned
that he was gonna hold her
that he was gonna hold her
until she told him what
-[Summer] Excuse me.
-[Summer] Excuse me.
There you go, dear.
Like they never heard
Like they never heard
(cheering in distance)
I tell you, Judy,
I tell you, Judy,
if we haven't been deceiving
if we haven't been deceiving
I for one constantly feel
I for one constantly feel
[Henderson] Ed, we can handle
I hope so.
I hope so.
Because if this ever hits
we're dead ducks.
we're dead ducks.
(siren wailing)
(siren wailing)
(music playing, cheering)
(music playing, cheering)
Okay, wherever Herb is,
Okay, wherever Herb is,
[both] Uh-oh.
[both] Uh-oh.
We could tell them the truth.
We could tell them the truth.
I already tried that.
[Herb] Magic ring?
[Herb] Magic ring?
That's the stupidest thing
(sighs)
(sighs)
Well, is it any less farfetched
that some actress would come
that some actress would come
and -- and --
and -- and --
What do you know about it?
What do you know about it?
Doris was kind and funny
Doris was kind and funny
she had a whole lot of what
she had a whole lot of what
somebody like you never notices
somebody like you never notices
but somebody like me does.
Gee.
Somewhere in there is the nicest
Somewhere in there is the nicest
Somewhere in there is the nicest
Yeah, well...
I wasn't --
I wasn't --
Only, I only just wish
Only, I only just wish
Me too.
Me too.
Why didn't you?
Yeah, well, I was working
Yeah, well, I was working
For 22 years?
For 22 years?
Then she gets bumped off by
Then she gets bumped off by
Oh, oh.
Oh, oh.
Oh, oh.
Not the one about bumped off,
(sirens wailing,
(sirens wailing,
Just a minute!
Just a minute!
Don't get nervous.
Okay, okay.
Okay, okay.
(screaming in distance)
Excuse me!
Uh, okay. Okay.
Uh, okay. Okay.
Uh, Summer?
Uh, Summer?
-[Marci] Faint.
Faint.
(music playing)
(music playing)
They can't yell at us
They can't yell at us
to the emergency room.
to the emergency room.
Summer!
Okay.
Okay.
(exhales sharply)
(groans)
Good one, Summer.
Good one, Summer.
Did she look in the mirror
Did she look in the mirror
-[Summer] I heard that.
[Summer] Ouch. Watch it!
[Summer] Ouch. Watch it!
Where do you think
Where do you think
Your dates?
Well, your dates wanna go
Well, your dates wanna go
in the parking lot, with us.
Heather, Blair, these guys,
Heather, Blair, these guys,
Heather, Blair, these guys,
They'll just tell you
You look so good
You look so good
Summer, stay focused.
There's only one thing
There's only one thing
that those guys
It's not food,
It's not food,
[both] Airbag.
[both] Airbag.
She is so losing it.
Ugh!
Ugh!
You're gonna lose it,
Hey, I found Tod!
Hey, I found Tod!
(Rod and Summer grunt)
What're you doing on the floor,
What're you doing on the floor,
-[Summer] I fainted, okay?
Summer's fainted!
Summer's fainted!
You have low blood sugar
You have low blood sugar
I'm gonna try and find the ring.
-[Marci] Oh, right,
-[Marci] Oh, right,
...'cause that's gonna be
He's like, "I wish
Well, I'm not fainting anymore,
Well, I'm not fainting anymore,
-[Rod] And now he is
It's just 'cause
It's just 'cause
(thud)
What?!
(police radio chatter)
(police radio chatter)
Ed, you might as well know
He tried to rob these people
He tried to rob these people
Moses on the mountaintop.
Moses on the mountaintop.
Is there anything else
Come on, girls, you're gonna
Come on, girls, you're gonna
Hey!
Don't lean against that.
Don't lean against that.
You're gonna scratch up
You're gonna scratch up
Oh, no. No, no, no, no.
Look, guys,
Look, guys,
Brittany, please.
Hey, watch it.
Hey, watch it.
Excuse me. Excuse me.
(music playing)
(music playing)
Let's go. Hurry up and ask.
Let's go. Hurry up and ask.
-[Marci] Are you sure?
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Would you happen
Would you happen
Very sorry.
Han Woo speaks only Chinese.
Han Woo speaks only Chinese.
Han Woo, I'm so sure.
Han Woo, I'm so sure.
Does he look Chinese to you?
Does he look Chinese to you?
-[Marci] Yeah.
(sighs)
Okay.
Okay.
-[Doris] It's gotta
open the door
open the door
It's not a g*n.
It's not a g*n.
It's -- It's a bottle.
It's, uh -- wasn't a g*n.
I know.
I know.
[Henderson]
[Henderson]
(police radio chatter,
Bottle?
Bottle?
Alcohol is often a component
Break it down.
[man] Saddle up!
[man] Saddle up!
(men shouting indistinctly)
Maybe you could ask him.
Maybe you could ask him.
(both speaking in Chinese)
(both speaking in Chinese)
This one?
[man] ♪ Ow ♪
[man] ♪ Ow ♪
Yes!
-[Summer] Thank you so much.
-[Summer] Thank you so much.
-[Marci] Thank you.
(music playing)
(music playing)
Marce -- Marci!
Marce -- Marci!
-[Marci] Aah!
[Blair] Oh, this is your car?
So, uh,
So, uh,
[both] Airbag.
[both] Airbag.
[Blair]
(Spike and Scooter snicker,
(Spike and Scooter snicker,
Herb, help me look for it!
-(Pounding, Doris yelps)
-(Pounding, Doris yelps)
A little ring you would think
A little ring you would think
[Henderson] We're gonna
Maybe I should've cleaned
(music playing)
(music playing)
Oh, hey, hey.
Oh, hey, hey.
Okay, okay, okay.
Okay. I wish that...
Okay. I wish that...
everything that got changed
turned exactly into the way
turned exactly into the way
(magic warbling)
(magic warbling)
(music playing)
(music playing)
-[Doris] Aah! Listen!
-[Doris] Aah! Listen!
Despite what I look like...
Despite what I look like...
I actually am Doris Trowbridge.
I actually am Doris Trowbridge.
Oh.
Oh.
(music playing)
Alright, folks,
(electricity crackling,
(electricity crackling,
[both] They're rats!
Aah! Aah!
Aah! Aah!
[Marci] There's a lesson here
[Marci] There's a lesson here
(both gasp)
(both gasp)
You have got
You have got
Summer?
What's this I hear about
What's this I hear about
at the food court?
Oh, well, it was just the hand,
Oh, well, it was just the hand,
and I washed it
Marci Kornbalm, I hope you have
Marci Kornbalm, I hope you have
because I have got
because I have got
Does that mean we have to go?
Does that mean we have to go?
At least we got
At least we got
(music playing)
[Judy] Just wait until
[Judy] Just wait until
from that international
from that international
He's gonna have a few choice
He's gonna have a few choice
Can you say grounded? Hmm?
Marci, call me when you finish
Marci, call me when you finish
Marci, call me when you finish
Oh, yeah, in about 20 years!
Oh, I am so never gonna
Oh, I am so never gonna
(rats squeaking)
(rats squeaking)
Spike. Scooter.
Spike. Scooter.
[Donna] What're you doing?
[Donna] What're you doing?
Come on, Mom,
Come on, Mom,
[Donna] Marci, when I said now,
No, really this will explain
No, really this will explain
(Donna screams)
[Herb] Well, obviously Doris
[Herb] Well, obviously Doris
[Herb] Well, obviously Doris
behind the counter there.
And then the, uh...
And then the, uh...
the actress jumped behind
the actress jumped behind
the actress jumped behind
Doris, uh, probably
Doris, uh, probably
when they were behind
when they were behind
Is it just me or what?
Is it just me or what?
And then Doris came out.
-[Ed] Herb.
-[Ed] Herb.
Look, the only thing
Look, the only thing
and she's -- she's --
That's the only thing
That's the only thing
that -- that Doris is here
that -- that Doris is here
Like, sometimes I think
Like, sometimes I think
that if an asteroid
you know, and hit the Earth,
you know, and hit the Earth,
the first thing my mom
the first thing my mom
Marci Kornbalm,
Marci Kornbalm,
that you are responsible
that you are responsible
I'm not, Mom.
Um, I'm just gonna go there
Um, I'm just gonna go there
Yeah.
Yeah.
[woman] We're in front of
where Herb Soric attempted
Marce, Marce...
Marce, Marce...
Hey, Marci!
Hey, Marci!
Marci! No. Hey.
[woman] Uh, wait, we have
[woman] Uh, wait, we have
-[woman] Uh, ma'am. Ma'am.
No, I don't wanna be on TV.
[Ed] Herb, you've always
[Ed] Herb, you've always
And now you suddenly have
And now you suddenly have
that two people were behind
that two people were behind
You expect the voters
You expect the voters
[Henderson] Well, nobody
'til this thing is solved.
That means mostly for you two.
That means mostly for you two.
[Doris] Herb.
(indistinct conversation)
(indistinct conversation)
Did you really mean that, Herb?
That I'm the most important
That I'm the most important
[Henderson] ...that Herb has
[Henderson] ...that Herb has
Herb, don't take
Herb, don't take
to say something, please.
to say something, please.
[Ed] The most important thing,
[Ed] The most important thing,
is that we're missing
Now, you say all this happened
Now, you say all this happened
Where is it?
Where is it?
[Doris] I -- I don't have it.
I didn't know
I didn't know
even if she had the ring back.
As far as I could tell,
As far as I could tell,
no matter
there was always gonna be
there was always gonna be
I just have to find it.
Doris, don't give me
Doris, don't give me
short-term memory loss jazz.
short-term memory loss jazz.
I wish everyone
(cuckoo clocks dinging)
(cuckoo clocks dinging)
I don't remember.
What?
What?
Anything since last November.
Anything since last November.
Oops.
Um, just about stuff
Um, just about stuff
[Ed] Oh, yeah, now I remember.
[Ed] Oh, yeah, now I remember.
Except, what are we doing here?
Except, what are we doing here?
Well, I, uh, guess I need
Well, I, uh, guess I need
-(Marci gasps)
[Marci] And not whatever
[Marci] And not whatever
were talking about.
were talking about.
(magic warbling)
I could -- I could stay.
(clock chiming)
(clock chiming)
(clock chiming)
(opera music playing)
I was, like, so proud of myself
I was, like, so proud of myself
with the perfect solution
with the perfect solution
Mom had forgot all about
Mom had forgot all about
and Summer getting licked,
of I hate to see her worry
of I hate to see her worry
Mom, Mom,
Mom, Mom,
We're going now?
We're going now?
No.
No, Marci, I'm trying
No, Marci, I'm trying
Yeah, Ma?
Yeah, Ma?
This morning when you asked
if you could have
if you could have
what did we say?
what did we say?
Yes or no?
(music playing)
Well, Mom, as I recall
Well, Mom, as I recall
Of course Summer had forgotten
Of course Summer had forgotten
just like everybody else,
just like everybody else,
and it took me most of the next
and it took me most of the next
She wanted her own
[Marci] Lost it?!
[Marci] Lost it?!
[both]
Girls, shh.
Girls, shh.
It's not lost,
It's not lost,
I found a ring in the back room.
I found a ring in the back room.
It isn't worth much.
It isn't worth much.
I put it some place
I can't remember where.
I can't remember where.
You know, I forgot where I put
You know, I forgot where I put
Well, we're all getting older.
Well, we're all getting older.
Oh, Doris, please, please try
Oh, Doris, please, please try
It'll turn up.
It'll turn up.
[Summer] Why didn't you wish
(box rattling,
(box rattling,
Hello, Hidden Treasures.
Hello, Hidden Treasures.
Oh.
Hello.
Hello.
Oh, dinner?
Oh, dinner?
That would be lovely.
The end.
[Summer]
I so can't believe it.
What did she give you?
Ah, a D-plus.
Ah, a D-plus.
She obviously doesn't like me.
She obviously doesn't like me.
What?
Let me see.
Let me see.
Well, she said the assignment
Well, she said the assignment
But it was true,
But it was true,
You have your own phone,
You have your own phone,
said you couldn't have,
said you couldn't have,
And you have the rats
And you have the rats
Plus, you wrote six pages when
Plus, you wrote six pages when
And everybody knows
And everybody knows
that really happened
I, like, also lost 20 points
I, like, also lost 20 points
And then she goes,
And then she goes,
why Rod could remember
why Rod could remember
and that I could remember
And then I was all like,
And then I was all like,
And then I was all like,
Some things can't be explained."
That's why I put the part
That's why I put the part
That's why I put the part
Oh...sorry.
I know that's your great
I know that's your great
That's life.
What can you do?
What can you do?
You are so right.
And that's what I told her.
So much of life is a mystery.
So much of life is a mystery.
And nobody's there
And nobody's there
Why do I gotta start
What did she say?
What did she say?
Started going on
Started going on
What attitude?
Ugh! Exactly.
Ugh! Exactly.
But then, she says if I rewrite
But then, she says if I rewrite
I can turn my D plus into a C.
I can turn my D plus into a C.
And that's exactly
Watch this.
Watch this.
"So, it's, like, a year
"So, it's, like, a year
"So, it's, like, a year
I think there's a comma
I think there's a comma
You are such a good friend.
You are such a good friend.
(music playing)
So it's, like, one year
So it's, like, one year
I think the ring is still
I think the ring is still
on account of lots
on account of lots
has happened
(cheers and applause)
(cheers and applause)
(music playing)
(music playing)
We both got our braces off,
earlier than expected,
earlier than expected,
And now we have retainers,
And now we have retainers,
which are way more cool,
which are way more cool,
(music playing)
(music playing)
Jennifer doesn't
Jennifer doesn't
she did before the ring
Actually, I don't mind her
Actually, I don't mind her
(music playing)
(music playing)
And now, when we wanna dance,
And now, when we wanna dance,
See, what Summer and me
is that we were
is that we were
And if some people
And if some people
it's their problem,
(music playing)
(music playing)
But the real magic
But the real magic
and, like, why i think the ring
and, like, why i think the ring
has to do with Rod and Tod --
has to do with Rod and Tod --
Like, all of a sudden
Like, all of a sudden
and they smell like shampoo.
and they smell like shampoo.
How amazingly magical is that?
How amazingly magical is that?
(music playing)
(music playing)
[man] ♪ So you wanna be
♪ While you're strumming
♪ While you're strumming
(music continues indistinctly)
(music continues indistinctly)
As for Doris, well,
As for Doris, well,
the high school experience
because of the transplant
because of the transplant
Wanna dance?
It will be awkward for her,
It will be awkward for her,
but generally worth it.
but generally worth it.
I thought you'd never ask.
I thought you'd never ask.
(music playing)
(music playing)
(exhales sharply)
[girl] ♪ Boys make
[girl] ♪ Boys make
♪ But I think boys
♪ Tender like a baby ham ♪
♪ Tender like a baby ham ♪
♪ Sticky with pineapple jam ♪
♪ Sticky with pineapple jam ♪
♪ Sniff your heady new perfume ♪
♪ Sniff your heady new perfume ♪
♪ Clear your plate
(music playing)
(music playing)
♪ Boys are super crunchy treat ♪
♪ Boys are super crunchy treat ♪
♪ Make a cookie hard to b*at ♪
♪ Make a cookie hard to b*at ♪
♪ Butter up
♪ Like a chewy macaroon ♪
♪ Like a chewy macaroon ♪
♪ Tease the palate
♪ Tease the palate
♪ Then the kettle
♪ Then the kettle
♪ I'm so hungry when I see ♪
♪ A juicy boy in front of me ♪
♪ A juicy boy in front of me ♪
♪ Give me
♪ Give me
♪ With boy as side dish
(music playing)
(music playing)
♪ Some are sweet
♪ Some are sweet
♪ Pour the milk
♪ Pour the milk
♪ Others simmer all day long ♪
♪ Others simmer all day long ♪
♪ Bubble up
♪ Any way they're done
♪ Any way they're done
♪ Smack your lips
♪ Smack your lips
♪ I'm so hungry when I see ♪
♪ A dishy boy in front of me ♪
♪ A dishy boy in front of me ♪
♪ Give me
♪ Give me
♪ Of boy fondue
♪ Of boy fondue
♪ I don't want a sirloin steak ♪
♪ Don't give me
♪ Don't give me
♪ What my tummy needs the most ♪
♪ What my tummy needs the most ♪
♪ Creamy boy
♪ Creamy boy
♪ When he's nibbled
♪ Please, sir,
♪ Please, sir,
(music playing)
(music playing)
♪ Boys make
♪ But I think boys
♪ But I think boys
♪ Tender like a baby ham ♪
♪ Tender like a baby ham ♪
♪ Sticky with pineapple jam ♪
♪ Sniff your heady new perfume ♪
♪ Clear your plate
♪ Clear your plate
(music playing)
(music playing)
♪ Boys are super crunchy treat ♪
♪ Boys are super crunchy treat ♪
♪ Make a cookie hard to b*at ♪
♪ Butter up
♪ Butter up
♪ Like a chewy macaroon ♪
♪ Like a chewy macaroon ♪
♪ Tease the palate
♪ Then the kettle
♪ Then the kettle
♪ I'm so hungry when I see ♪
♪ I'm so hungry when I see ♪
♪ A juicy boy in front of me ♪
♪ A juicy boy in front of me ♪
♪ Give me
♪ With boy as side dish
♪ With boy as side dish
(music playing)
(music playing)
♪ Some are sweet
♪ Some are sweet
♪ Pour the milk
♪ Pour the milk
♪ Others simmer all day long ♪
♪ Bubble up
♪ Bubble up
♪ Any way they're done
♪ Any way they're done
♪ Smack your lips
♪ I'm so hungry when I see ♪
♪ I'm so hungry when I see ♪
♪ A dishy boy in front of me ♪
♪ A dishy boy in front of me ♪
♪ Give me
♪ Give me
♪ Of boy fondue
♪ I don't want a sirloin steak ♪
♪ I don't want a sirloin steak ♪
♪ Don't give me
♪ Don't give me
♪ What my tummy needs the most ♪
♪ What my tummy needs the most ♪
♪ Creamy boy
♪ When he's nibbled
♪ When he's nibbled
♪ Please, sir,
♪ Please, sir,
(music playing)
(music playing)
[END CREDITS]
[END CREDITS]
Ratz (2000)
Moderator: Maskath3