03x10 - Once Upon a Time in...

Episode Transcripts for the TV show "Young Rock." Aired: February 16, 2021 –; present.*
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Sitcom based upon the life of professional wrestler and actor Dwayne Johnson, also known by his ring name "The Rock".
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03x10 - Once Upon a Time in...

Post by bunniefuu »

Believe me,
Gjelgjiughm will never engage


in a coffee trade deal
with the United States.


[PHONE BUZZING]

[GROANS]

Hey, Prezzo.

Dwayne. How's it going out there?

Pretty good. Can't complain.

Okay, good. Good, good, good.

Though I did hear the
prime minister said

that she's never gonna do
a coffee trade deal with us?

- It's, like, all over the news.
- Okay, look.

Was it a little setback? Yes.

Did she have to bring up the
uneven reviews of "Baywatch"?

No. But I'm still confident
I can make a deal.


I hope so...

because this is not a good
look for my administration.

The fact that I had to
send in a former challenger

to close the deal with someone
who made fun of my hands


in a very offensive way...

I can't believe I
lost to this clown car.

Nothing I can do about it.
It's a soft-handed family.


Have you spoken to the prime minister

since she sold you down the river?

We haven't spoken yet, but I'm sure

she'll be reaching out soon.

[VIDEO GAME BUZZING]

Hey.

Can a prime minister get next?

I'm going for the high
score, but after that, sure.

Cool. Cool.

So where's Randall?

Finally taking a break from
writing down your every word?

Probably figured with the
trade deal off the table,

he could focus on other things.

I realize that I put you in
a very tough spot yesterday,

but I want you to understand
why I did what I did.

Dwayne.

May I show you something?

[SOFT ACOUSTIC GUITAR MUSIC]



Well, Dwayne, welcome
to my favorite place.

I can see why. What a beautiful place.

[CHUCKLES] Hey, I'm just gonna fold in

for a minute, if that's okay.

Okay.

Oh, you know your way
around here pretty good, huh?

Well, this was my father's shop.

He opened it decades ago.

And now it has become an institution.

- Ah.
- In fact, it was so popular

that the people honored
him as the first-ever

Vanguard of Coffee in Gjelgjiughm.

- Vanguard of Coffee?
- Mm-hmm.

It's kind of like, um,

winning the WWF championship
belt but for java.

Mm. All right.

Sounds your dad had a
huge influence on you.

I understand. Mine did too.

But when you talk about the
influences that shape a person,


it's often about
more than one individual.


♪ You keep saying you
got something for me ♪


We're all standing on the shoulders
of those who came before us.


I've talked a lot about my parents,
but there are many others who had


a profound influence on my life,

like my grandfather,
the High Chief Peter Maivia,


and Pat Patterson.

That's Pat in his early days
as a wrestler in San Francisco.


Pat became a visionary in the WWE,

and he was vital to me
becoming who I am today.


But back then, he was just
scratching the surface of his potential.


♪ One of these days, these boots ♪

♪ Are gonna walk all over you ♪

Nice match, brother.

I can't believe Faye Dunaway
was sitting in the front row.

Come on, Peter.

You say that about every
glamorous white woman

you see from the ring, eh.

Hey, if you're tired of fast food,

you should come over to the
house for dinner tonight.

Oh, that'd be amazing.

I can't eat any more greasy hamburgers.

I'll give you the address.

Hey, bring your girlfriend.

No, I... I don't have a girlfriend.

- Playing the field, huh?
- Ah.

You know what they say
about San Francisco women?

The odds are good,
but the goods are odd.

[LAUGHS] No, no, that's not what...

I do have a special
friend I could bring.

Okay. Bring your special friend.

What's her name?

Louie.

Louie?

Louie.

Is that an English woman's name?

Only Louies I ever heard of were men.

Louis Prima, Louis Armstrong.

Right.

Louie.

Louie.

Well, all right.

Bring Louie then.

My wife, Lia, is gonna make a famous...

Keke pua'a.

Pat Patterson was one of
the first openly gay men


in professional wrestling.

That's not easy now,
and it certainly wasn't easy back then,


but Pat never really played
by anyone else's rules.


And my grandfather respected
the hell out of him for that.


Lia, thank you.
This looks and smells delicious.

Next time, I'll have to cook you
my famous chicken cacciatore.

I hope it's better than Lou Albano's.

It was all skin.

- No chicken has that much skin.
- [LAUGHS]

So Pat, Louie, how did you two meet?

[UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC]



So what part of France are you from?

Uh, the Canadian part, Montreal.

- Sounds fancy.
- Oh, it wasn't fancy for me.

I grew up in a tiny apartment
with eight brothers and sisters.

No shower, no bath, no hot water.

My bedroom was a hallway closet.

Oh, so you were literally in the closet.

[LAUGHS] Well, actually, I came out

to my parents when I was .

And how did they take it?

They didn't. They kicked me out.

- Sorry.
- Oh, no, it's fine.

The wrestling is
better in Boston anyway.

Mm. So you're a wrestler.

Mm-hmm.

It's not for me,
but I do love the names,

- k*ller Kowalski...
- Oh, yeah.

- Whipper Billy Watson.
- Yes.

What do you go by?

Uh, my real name, Pierre Clermont.

Oh, no.

What about Pierre Pettigrew?

- No.
- Pabarsky?

Mm-mm.

- Plotkin?
- Oh, this is getting worse.

Oh, Patterson.

I like that one, Pierre Patterson.

I like the alliteration.

But the problem is Pierre.

Pierre writes poetry about autumn.

[LAUGHS]

He doesn't rip men's
arms off in the ring.

- Hmm.
- You need something more intimidating.

Okay. What about Pat?

That's strong, intimidating.

- Yeah?
- Pat.

You know, like Pat Burns.

The Canadian rancher and meat packer.

He's very famous.

- Uh, never heard of him.
- [SIGHS]

Pat's growing on me, though.

Well, then nice to
meet you, Louie Dondero.

I'm Pat Patterson.

It's nice to meet you, Pat Patterson.

And we were inseparable after that.

You know, Peter and I
met at the fish market.

I didn't realize I dropped my ono.

I picked it up, and I
said, hey, your fish.

The rest is history.

Also romantic.

So what did everyone think
of the Battle Royal today?

We tore down the Cow Palace, didn't we?

- Great night.
- You know...

All those guys in the ring...
I could not tell what was happening.

Because it's a terrible format.

There's too much going on at once.

The audience doesn't know what
they're supposed to be watching.

Total cluster[BLEEP]. No offense.

Oh, no. I agree.
It was a cluster[BLEEP].

[CHUCKLES] It was
definitely tight in there.

What we should do is
stagger the entrances.

Start with two guys in the ring,

then every couple minutes,
bring in another wrestler.

You come in. Then I come in.

And then the fans will wonder
who's gonna come in next.

Sorry. I'm coming
out third in this scenario?

With all the combinations of wrestlers,
we could tell multiple stories,

three on one, then ally
versus ally, then enemies uniting.

Possibilities are endless.

bodies in the ring will sell tickets,

but the psychology of the
match is why fans come back.

You could be on to something, Pat.

Pat didn't know it,
but that would be the first time


he changed pro wrestling.

But you heard him.

He said you might be on to something.

Louie, I'm just a wrestler.

They got guys behind the scenes
who come up with that stuff.

Why can't you be one of those guys?

You can't wrestle forever.

Your shoulder keeps getting worse.

Oh, I know. But I got a plan.

When my body breaks down,
I wanna become a bartender.

A bartender?

What else am I supposed to do? Retail?

I did not move across the
country so you could bartend.

Oh, so bartending's not for you, either?

No one understands the
audience like you do.

I mean, that idea you
came up with is amazing.

And you have a million ideas like that.

- I got another one.
- Mm-hmm.

What if I called it the Random Riot?

Oh, you know I love alliteration, but...

- It's a work in progress.
- Okay, yeah.

The Random Riot became
the iconic Royal Rumble.


Pat went on to become Vince
McMahon's right-hand man


and my greatest mentor in
professional wrestling.


When it came to the
psychology of wrestling


and connecting with the
crowd, Pat was the master.


And I can say without
a doubt that The Rock


wouldn't have been The Rock

without the vision and
guidance of Pat Patterson.


While Pat Patterson taught
me the craft of wrestling,


André the Giant was an equally
influential figure for me.


Before André became the
larger-than-life legend,


the man who taught me many
a lesson when I was a kid,


he was just a kid himself,

a giant kid, trying not to stand out.

A whiskey.

A bottle of whiskey.

[UPBEAT FOLKY MUSIC]



I've never seen you here before.

You sure? André gets
mistaken for a lot of people.

[CHUCKLES] What brings
you to Paris, then?

I do calligraphy.

- I move furniture.
- [CHUCKLES]

[LAUGHS] Look at the freak.

What did you say to me?

No, I was not talking to you.

Do you know what I do to
people who talk bad about me?

I challenge them to drinking contests.

[LAUGHTER]

[UPBEAT FOLKY MUSIC]

[CHEERING]



[CHEERING]



[CHEERING]

Small, weak man.

Let us celebrate Claude's
failure with another drink.

[CHEERING]



[LAUGHS]

So tiny.

See? What did I tell you, huh?

[LAUGHTER]

[ANDRÉ CHUCKLES]

What are you staring at?

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

- No, no, pardon.
- You know what?

- Where is my belt?
- No, Emma, it's okay.

He was only curious, eh? I'm used to it.

Would you like a picture of my
hand on your skull like a hat?

No. Merci.

May I buy you a drink?

You buy, I drink.

Mind if I ask you a question?

Mm.

Have you ever thought
about going into wrestling?

- Wrestling?
- Oui.

In the ring, a man of your
size could be a big draw.

No.

André not a fan of crowds, attention.

You were just carrying four
women on your shoulders.

If four women want to
climb on top of André,

who is André to say no, eh?

[CHUCKLES]

But I... I do not want to stand out.

I just want to be normal.

But what if normal for
you is to stand out?

You're drinking people under the table,

carrying them on your shoulders.

You're putting on a
big performance for them

so that they won't mock you.

But you are not normal.

You are spectacular.

I do not feel that way.

Maybe not here in this bar,
but in the wrestling ring,

you could be a champion.

Trust me. I know.

How do you know this?

I am Jacques, the One-Armed Madman.

You haven't heard of me?

This is you?

Now you see the resemblance?

I see it, boss.

My gimmick is that I
may have lost one arm,

but I have three times
the strength in the other.

See? That's me, squashing an
alarm clock with my bare hand.

To show you don't like
getting up in the morning?

No, don't read into it that much.
Just looks cool.

When I was younger, the kids
in the town would mock me.

I was a sideshow to them.

I understand.

People look at me and
can only see a giant.

But you are a giant.

There's power in accepting it.

You are spectacular, André.

It's time you embraced it.

[UPLIFTING MUSIC]

When André Roussimoff embraced

being André the Giant,
his whole world changed.


So when I was finding
my own way in the WWE,


I tried my best to
follow André's example.


And embracing being myself was
the key to creating The Rock.


André's legacy will live on forever.

He's the giant we're all
standing on the shoulders of.


And without question,
he was spectacular.


- I love André the Giant.
- Mm-hmm.

My second-favorite movie,
after "A Christmas Peril"?

"The Princess Bride."

- Oh, a classic.
- Wait, wait.

[AS SHAWN WALLACE] No
more rhymes now, I mean it.

[AS ANDRÉ THE GIANT]
Anybody want a peanut?

[BOTH LAUGH] That's brilliant.

That was good.

So was André your inspiration
for getting into acting?

Not directly.

There were a lot of wrestlers who
had crossed over into movies by then.

But the first wrestler-turned-actor

that I heard of was my grandfather,

the High Chief Peter Maivia.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

He was cast in the James Bond movie

"You Only Live Twice"
starring Sean Connery.




- And cut!
- [BELL RINGING]

Excellent take, gentlemen.

Let's reset.

Hey, can I run an idea by you?

Because the last take felt awkward.

- Mm.
- The couch is in the way...

Uh, just keep doing what you're doing.
Now, if you'll excuse me,

Blofeld's bitching about
his eye makeup again.

Wasn't it his dumb idea
to do the face scar?

Peter, what was that
you're trying to say?

Nothing.

I just had an idea to make
our fight scene pop more.

Well, I'm all ears, lad.

All my fight scenes are the same.

I use my secret shoe g*n,

kiss the broad, down a cocktail.

Well, instead of
running around the couch,

maybe you pick it up, ram it into me,

and I did a forward flip off of it?

Yes.

I love that.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

My grandfather always
did have big ideas.




Cut, cut!

[BELL RINGING]

Cut. What the hell was that?

Oh, we just wanted to
try something different.

You did?

Well, that was brilliant,
Sean, bloody brilliant.

It wasn't my idea.

It was Peter's.

Peter, why didn't you tell me you wanted

to do something like that?

- Well, I tried.
- I understand you're shy.

Listen, tomorrow, we are sh**ting

a huge fight scene set in a volcano.

I would love your input.

Okay. Sure.

So that's how my
grandfather was credited


as a stunt coordinator
on a James Bond film,


which is just the
beginning of this story.


So for this scene, I'm
gonna come back to you

and try to grab your
neck, but you push me away

and give me a right cross to my face.

Okay.

But I had a couple of
martinis in the last scene.

I might actually hit you.

The martinis are real?

Helps me get into character.

Well, it's good to be .

Okay, come on.

[GRUNTS]

Okay. Not good. Try this.

Open up your fist a little,
like you're holding an egg.

- Like this?
- Yes.

Now punch me in the face.

- Really?
- A loose fist lessens the impact.

Now hit me.

[GRUNTS] What the hell? My nose!

Christ, are you okay?

[LAUGHS]

I'm fine.

If you throw a decent punch,

I'll make everyone believe
you're Muhammad Ali.

That's pretty good.

How'd you learn to do all this stuff?

I'm a professional wrestler.

So you pretend to fight
people for a living.

Last time I checked, so do you.

God, I'm sick of being James Bond.

Get out of here.

Oh, it's true.

I've done this five times.
I'd love to branch out.

Why couldn't I play an ex-con
who escapes from Alcatraz or...

I don't know... a
Russian submarine general.

Or a poet who is also an assassin.

Exactly.

But it's never going to happen.

Ian Fleming wrote novels.

I'll be playing Bond
for the rest of my life.

I'd trade places with
you anytime, brother.

Oh, likewise.

At least what you do is interesting.

They'd never cast me as Bond.

I'm Samoan.

We play the bad guys.

My blood brothers, Afa and Sika,

when they wrestle as the Wild Samoans,

they have to act like savages.

They grunt, bite their
opponents, pick their noses.

[LAUGHS] Pick their noses. That's funny.

I'll admit the depth that they get

with their fingers is impressive,

but it's not a joke.

The way outsiders see my people, it's...

It's not always with kind eyes.

Well,

you and your brothers
are so much more than that.

Look at the way you set up these fights.

That takes a real vision and talent.

It's nice to hear that.

And you, you're on top of your game.

You don't have to play Bond forever.

- You have options.
- True.

We're more than people say we are.

We can both branch out.

[SWEEPING ORCHESTRAL MUSIC]

After finishing "You Only Live Twice,"

Sean Connery announced his retirement

from playing James Bond,
although it was temporary,


and went on to play many
more diverse characters


while my grandfather started
laying the groundwork


for something big.

Tell me about Sean Connery.

Is he as handsome in
person as he is on screen?

You have to be very
secure about your own face

to stand next to Connery.

And he gave me great advice.

Got me thinking about my future,

and I wanna get your opinion on it.

You wanna become an actor.

No. I don't wanna act.

I want to start my own
wrestling promotion.

Thank God because Lia would not
be okay with you doing love scenes.

- She would m*rder me.
- It'd be a slow death.

- She'd savor it.
- She could handle the jail time too.

- Wouldn't be afraid of it.
- She'd come out stronger,

tougher, ready to remarry.

But I really think I can base
the promotion out in Hawaii

and build a roster of
Polynesian wrestlers.

We can play heel, babyface.

It doesn't matter.

We don't have to be just one thing.

I love that.

You got a name for it?

Polynesian Pacific Pro Wrestling.

Ah, alliteration. Always works.

After a few years,

my grandfather started
Polynesian Pro Wrestling.


Peter Maivia accomplished things

that no one who looked like him
achieved in the wrestling business,


and my grandfather taught
me there were no limits


to what a half-Black, half-Samoan kid

with big dreams could achieve

because we don't have
to be just one thing.


And I'd like to think to this day,

I live by that lesson.

Bonjour, Pat.

André! Mon ami!

Peter, this is my friend André.

I invited him to join us for a drink.

Of course, brother. Have a seat.

Oh.

Um, maybe just stand.

[LAUGHS]

You know, I still can't
get over how good this is.

Care for a third?

Prime minister, are you
trying to get me caffeinated?

- [LAUGHS]
- [CHUCKLES]

I am sorry for surprising you in
front of the press with my statement.

Part of it was me just trying to divert

attention away from that
mountain-naming issue.

But I do believe in what I said.

Protecting Gjeljish coffee is
a core belief in my country.

I completely understand that.

But with your plentiful crop,
do you think that there's a...

But the land is finite.

And the attention and
care required is crucial.

It's not just the land or
the technique or the people.

It's all of it, Dwayne.

It's all of it together.

Gjeljians like my father, they lived

to make our coffee special,

so I won't be the one to
compromise their vision.

- I'm not surprised to hear you say that.
- Thank you.

And now I see why you
can't make the deal.

And I respect that.

It's unfortunate, though,

that you came all this way for a no.

But I really enjoyed our time together.

So have I, and hey, look,
I have the high score

on your "WrestleFest" game,
so I'm going home with a victory.

Ah, actually, two.

You inspired me to find a compromise

for that mountain-naming issue.

- Okay. I'll take two wins.
- There you go.

So what was the compromise?

A name that was sitting there

just staring us in the
face the whole time.
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