Camp m*rder (2021)

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Camp m*rder (2021)

Post by bunniefuu »

- Hey, Phil?

- Yeah?

- We're about to go up.

- Going up in what?

- Five.

- Going live in five?

Yeah.

Yeah, all right, f*ck it.

Uh, yeah, yeah, okay.

Adamsville...

Okay.

All right, go ahead.

Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

Hello, and welcome,

all listeners.

It's the spookiest man

on Adamsville local airwaves,

DJ Freaky Phil,

coming at ya, live.

And may I just say,

happy Halloween

to all you cool cats out there.

And on this all Hallows Eve,

it is my duty,

and truly my pleasure

to regale you

with the most horrifying tale

to ever chill the bones

of this fine town.

Dig.

Back in the summer of 84,

seven of Adamsville High's own

decided to go on a trip.

They was all counselors

at the local summer camp.

And at the end of the summer,

they got their own weekend

to go party alone.

But this year,

they wasn't alone.

Find out what happens

to them next

after this brief message

from our lovely

and loyal sponsors.

Your friend is in grave danger.

Oh, which one?

You know the sad, pathetic one.

Looks like a poster child

for antidepressants.

Oh, Dan.

When I was a young boy,

Satan came to me as an

imaginary friend.

Daniel, what are you doing?

I had no clue

as to what Satan really was.

I'm a monster.

You'd be surprised, buddy.

For thousands of years,

Satan has corrupted

the souls of men.

Out of spite and jealousy.

Satan,

I asked you to stop putting

body parts in the freezer.

For it is through his seed

that he can

create the Antichrist.

You really

like this girl, right?

Every time I talk to her,

every time she talks,

I just freeze.

This time, let me hold the ring.

For the last time,

Satan, you can not

possess my mortal soul.

Then, what happens?

I don't actually know for sure.

But that sh*t is definitely bad.

What is ideal,

is if we stop Lucy

before dad even realizes

he's out of the furnace,

where he belongs.

I'm 80% sure I got my ass b*at

by my guardian angel, okay?

You don't know

that you've been waiting

your whole

life for this one moment.

You need to show

what you fight for.

Who you fight for.

But most importantly,

who you are.

Now go

knock his f*cking head off.

Hey.

Yo, have you seen this?

One pro fight, right?

But this Xavier Hall mother...

But if you want to make

that fight happen...

- When'd he post this?

- Earlier today.

Do you really

wanna go in that ring

with a fighter who's

a title contender?

This is an opportunity

that just don't come

to any fighter starting out.

I'm giving you more than hope.

I'm giving you option.

That's all Pope sh*t,

that was all Pope.

What you saying,

you don't wanna fight?

I'm sayin'

you're not worth the fight.

Hey, hey. Be cool tonight.

Be cool.

So, you gonna take the fight?

I don't know yet.

I mean, I know I gotta tell

Quinn before anyone else does.

Why would you go to any promoter

without telling me first?

I was gonna

tell you about the fight.

But I needed to wait

till the time was right.

If you were to do this,

how would you win?

I'm gonna try my best.

Your best

is way more than enough.

Thanks, man.

'Cause that's what you do,

when you care, Xavier.

There's no way

you can possibly understand

what I'm going through.

Xavier,

you can't blame yourself.

For what happens to your pa.

They don't know

what you've been through

to get to this moment.

Show 'em.

Show 'em who you are.

Fellpeller Studios presents.

Mac n' Mac.

They may not be

the best cops on the force.

Come on, Crisco.

You're a pretty m*therf*cker.

You k*lled 16 people,

on your last operation.

Did you say people?

I think you meant 16 crackheads.

No, God damn it.

No, Crisco.

You know how I feel about

your crackhead antics.

Shh. Smoke it.

- Smoke it. Come on. Smoke it.

- Here you go.

- You, f*ck head.

- You, f*cking crackhead.

You're disgusting.

Crisco, no.

No. No. No.

You want that?

You want that?

I see... I see a house.

But on the inside,

I see ten crackhead bodies,

- lying on the floor.

- Ah, I'll give you f*cking 11.

But when it comes to

k*lling crackheads...

What the f*ck is this?

f*ck you, crackhead.

They're

the right cops for the job.

Starring Jeff Johnson

and Luke Arreola

- as Mac n' Mac.

- No, it does.

Because if you're on cr*ck

and you're supplying cr*ck,

I'm gonna f*ck you up.

And Josh Bzura as Chief.

Mac n' Mac.

You can't do this to me.

Come on.

Busting crackheads.

I just wanna go home

and do some cr*ck with my kid.

Mac 'n Mac.

And we're back.

I don't know about you

but I think

those look like some

pretty slick flicks, you dig?

And now folks, for the moment

you've all been waiting for.

Our feature presentation

on this extra spooky,

Halloween evening.

For all you

listening back at home

and all you watching along

on the big,

or small screen,

it is my pleasure

to present you,

the story of Camp m*rder.

All's I'm saying, man,

is keep an open mind.

I'm gonna open up

your mind with this thing,

if you don't stop trying to

shag my sister, you creep.

Listen, man.

You've always wanted

a brother, right?

And I've always

wanted to get my nuts

up in your sister's guts.

It's a win-win.

Well, all right.

Fair point.

Well, what about this, though?

Let's say one of your semen

goes all "Rambo," right?

Finds its way

to my sister's tubes.

She gets knocked up, then what?

Look at me,

would that be so horrible?

Ah. Yeah.

Yeah, it would, actually.

Then I'd have

a couple of Ret*rded nephews

like you, running around.

Words hurt, Chubs.

Words hurt.

Well, maybe, but not as much

as this axe does.

Okay, fine, God!

Here's to...

beer in a bottle.

Yeah.

- That was weird.

- Yeah.

Sounded

like something caught it.

f*cking Jesus Christ.

Mr. Buford. Mr. Buford.

Jesus f*cking Christ.

You just gave me a heart att*ck.

Sir, Ferg is dead.

- What?

- Uh, I... I don't know.

We... we... we were out there,

and... and a broken beer bottle

came out of the woods

and stabbed him in the chest.

Well...

did you see who it was?

I didn't see who it was.

It's dark out there.

I can't see f*ck all.

All right.

Okay, uh...

you stay here.

Call Gus, he's... he's in town.

I'm gonna go see

what's going on.

Why call Gus?

Think it through, brainless.

It's the end of summer,

and we've got

counselors coming up

this weekend.

You have got to tell them,

not to come here.

You're right.

All right, folks,

opening credits are over

so pay attention

'cause this part's important,

it comes back

into play later in the story.

Hello.

Hi, mom.

Yes, mom.

I'm gonna be home all weekend.

Casey's not gonna be alone.

Uh, who's gonna come over?

All of my friends

are gonna be at camp.

No, they're not getting paid

for the counselors' weekend.

Am I getting paid

to watch Casey?

Hmm.

Yeah. No, I know.

Okay.

Okay.

Love you too. Bye.

Hello?

Hey, Mary. g*dd*mn.

You... you answered fast,

you know that?

Andy? That's insane.

I was just about to call you.

Yeah, no. I know.

I know, I can, you know,

I can... I can sense

these things, babe.

Andy, are you smoking?

I'm not smoking a cigarette.

- Andy!

- What?

Hey, we talked about this.

Yeah, you know,

the boys are over

and you said you don't have

a problem with grass.

It's not like I'm smoking

a dart or something.

Yeah.

So, off the hook, yeah?

Yeah. Yeah. Off the hook.

Great, 'cause, babe,

let me tell you something.

I've got something that's

going to cheer you right up.

Guess where

you're coming tomorrow?

Camp, with us.

Ugh, Andy, don't even say that.

It's just gonna make me upset.

- You know I can't come.

- And, why is that?

Because I promised my mom,

I'd watch Casey.

You promised?

Yes.

Okay.

What exactly did you promise?

Just that I would watch Casey.

Just that you would watch her?

You didn't say

where you'd be watching her?

No. I just said

that she wouldn't be alone.

Okay. So, bingo-bango, babe.

That's problem solved.

All you gotta do is

you bring her with you.

You can even tell mom and pop

that you're bringing her.

She's not gonna be alone.

She's gonna be

the exact opposite of alone.

Andy...

don't be ridiculous.

Look, Mary,

I really didn't want to

bring this up, okay?

But this is a very key stage

in our relationship

if... if I'm just left

unattended,

like... like a free range buck,

you know, to my own devices

for a whole weekend.

Who's... who's to say

what can happen?

I could really be swept

right off of my feet,

right off from under you.

Oh, yeah? By who?

Chester and Noah?

Stranger things have happened,

you know.

Somehow, I just doubt that.

All right, look, Mary,

I'm gonna come by your place

at nine am tomorrow morning,

okay?

If you don't want me to come,

then just say, "Stay away,"

right now, and I won't do it,

all right?

How's that?

Say, "Andy, I do not

want you to come pick me up.

"I'd much rather stay home.

"And, in fact,

I never even cared about you

in the first place."

Just say that and I won't come.

Okay, babe?

So, I'll see you at nine?

I'll think about it.

So, I'll see you at nine?

I will... I will think about it.

Mary!

- Yeah?

- I'll see ya.

I'll see ya.

Casey?

Are you packed for the weekend?

- Hi.

- Hey, ladies.

There she is,

prettiest girl on this planet.

You know, your sister

does not look bad either,

does she, Case?

Ugh, oh, and speaking of Casey,

you owe her $10.

- Do I, now?

- Mm-hmm.

My parents think I'm staying

home with her this weekend.

So, we're buying her silence.

Naturally.

Of course, we are.

Case, I better not see

more than $10

missing from there, okay?

No promises.

Very funny.

You ladies ready to get going?

Yup.

Wait, why am I

the only kid coming to camp?

Uh, well, you know,

at the end of the summer,

when the kids all go home,

they let

the counselors come back.

Kinda run the show

for a weekend.

But don't you guys get bored

without kids?

Usually, yeah. We do.

Um, this year, you're coming,

so we're not gonna have

- that problem.

- Mm-hmm.

Oh, there she... Yeah.

I don't know how she does...

How you just fall asleep

like that?

- God, I wish I could do that.

- I resent her for it

if I'm being honest.

Baby,

I'm just glad she likes me.

Baby, everybody likes you.

Thank you.

I really hate the way

this new haircut makes

my ears look...

I just really don't like it.

You lose points, by the way,

for not noticing.

I noticed. I... I could tell

you didn't like it.

So, I pretended not to notice.

You're hilarious.

But seriously,

I just... I can be

really sensitive about it.

Can you just make sure

they don't make fun of me, okay?

What are you talking about?

You know how the guys can be.

They can be such assholes.

Just...

promise you won't let them

make fun of me.

Yeah. I promise.

Okay.

Ready to go?

Let's get going.

- Ready?

- Yeah.

Boys, boys, boys.

What's up?

Big weekend. Jer Bear.

- What's up, man?

- Looking good?

- How you doing?

- So boys,

how'd you get up there?

So, did you talk

to him about it yet?

Shh. No, I haven't

talked to him about it yet.

Why? Come on.

I just really want this weekend

to be about having fun, Trish.

You can have some fun.

Some little alone time fun

with Andy.

Look, I just..

I don't really think

I'm ready for that yet.

Okay. Fine.

I just want you to, so badly.

I know you're ready.

It's fun.

I... when I'm ready,

I know exactly

who to come talk to.

I can give you some tips.

Oh, I know you can.

All right.

I'm calling the boys.

Let's do it.

Yell-o.

- Chez.

- Oh, it's Chez?

Let me talk to him.

Let me talk to him.

Hold on.

Andy wants to talk to you.

Yo, what's up, man?

- Andy?

- Yeah.

Uh, just letting you know,

we're leaving, like, right now.

So, we'll be there

in half hour, 35 minutes.

Sounds good, brother.

All right. Sweet.

Hey, man.

Call him an idiot.

- Hey, Andy.

- Yeah.

You're the best.

Thank you, man.

All right, I'll see you later.

- What's the plan?

- What's up, baby?

One love.

- You call him an idiot?

- No.

- Can you not hear me?

- No.

After you.

We ready to go?

Born ready.

Trish, Jerry, Brett,

this is my little sissy, Casey.

Aw, I didn't know

you had a sister.

She looks just like you.

Well, she's actually

my stepsister, so...

Oh.

Sissy, what is a stepsister?

You never told me.

It's not important, Casey.

It doesn't matter.

- Jerry, are we ready to go?

- Hey. Hey. Hey.

On this vessel, I'm only to be

referred to as, Captain Jer.

And I'm ready.

I f*cking hate Captain Jer.

By the way guys, my dad gave me

his camera

to use for the weekend.

So, let's take some videos.

Here, Casey, get with Brett.

Cute.

Here, do you wanna try?

- Yeah.

- Okay.

Just push that button

right there.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes. Oh, yes, folks.

This next tune is called

"The Last Road Trip

You're Ever Gonna Take"

by the Darts.

- Get him.

- Get him.

- Get him, get him!

- Get his ass.

Get his ass!

Get her foot

on the ceiling, babe.

Whoa.

Whoa, look at that.

Loving it.

Now, give me...

You're fed up with the world.

I'm literally

gonna k*ll you in two seconds.

Oh, yeah?

Two seconds?

Two seconds.

One, two...

You're not gonna touch my girl,

you're not gonna touch her.

m*therf*cker.

You smoking in my kitchen?

Get the f*ck out of here, man.

- Get out of here.

- My bad. My bad. My bad.

- You want?

- No, get out of here.

You gonna pass that?

sh*t.

What the f*ck?

Devon, man.

You scared the sh*t out of us.

How long

y'all two been out here?

What time is it?

- 8:30.

- sh*t.

Man, we've been out here

for like

five hours now.

So, you mean to tell me

y'all two clowns

been out here smoking it up,

chilling.

I'm in there

working on Mr. Chekov

trying to cook food

for you fools for this weekend.

And y'all couldn't even come in

to help?

Sorry, man.

But, uh, duty calls.

Duty calls, man. Duty calls.

At least let

me get in a hit, then...

Yeah, of course, man.

You earned it.

Here.

You, lazy son of a b*tches.

Sorry, Mr. Chekov.

My ass.

Anyway, there's food

for the weekend

and I have to go.

Oh, sh*t, me too.

Hey, Mr. Chekov.

You still got

that Walkman in there?

Oh, yes, my friend.

I almost forgot it.

- It's in my office.

- Hey, Mr. Chekov.

You still keep

your g*n in there, too?

Yes, Chester. I do.

In fact, I keep it

in the right top hand drawer,

to be exact.

Very cool, man.

Very cool.

Yeah. Hope

no one forgets where it is.

Just in case

it becomes useful later.

Don't go f*ck around with it.

It's not a toy.

Yeah, I'll get your bag.

Aw. You can't stay the weekend?

Can't even do it.

Well...

where are you guys' cars?

Oh, other lot on the far side.

Okay. Well,

maybe we see you in the Fall?

I'll be around.

See ya.

Boys.

I don't remember

bringing any bags.

I loaded them up

when no one was looking.

All right.

Good enough for me.

You ladies get bored without us?

- Yes.

- Brett.

Always bored without you.

Land ho!

What?

Like "land ho," you know,

the vessel arrived.

Land ho!

We arrived

like seven minutes ago.

- I don't know, man...

- To the cabin, then.

What's up, smallish girl?

- Hi, I'm Casey.

- I'm Chester.

Do you know you guys owe me $10?

What? For real?

Mm-hmm.

Each.

- Wha... what? Such bullshit.

- Huh?

Nothing.

f*ck that girl, dude.

For real, man. For real.

You ready, man?

Yeah, man.

It's been a little while.

All right. All right.

All right.

- Ready?

- Yes, sir.

Let's start.

I don't want to f*cking do this

with you, anymore, Jer.

It's been...

It's been a while, man.

Step into my office.

Come on.

All right.

It's in the closet.

Thank you. Thank you.

Encore. Encore.

I don't think he knows

any other songs, do you, babe?

I don't.

Boo. What else you got?

Gee...

I don't know.

How about

a spooky campfire story?

Ooh. Yes. Yes. Yes.

So, I mean, I can only assume

you guys have heard about

the... the m*ssacre

here in 78, right?

At this very campsite?

I thought that was just a myth.

Think again.

It was a dark and spooky night.

You know,

it was a lot like tonight,

- wasn't it, Mary?

- You know what?

Now that you mentioned it, Andy.

It was a lot like tonight.

There were exactly...

seven people on the grounds

that night, weren't there?

And, a little girl.

Some, nut-job, lunatic,

psycho...

busted out of an insane asylum,

and paid this very camp...

a little visit.

A visit

that would forever change

this camp's name to Camp m*rder.

Duh, duh, duh.

He donned himself in all black.

Black sweater, pants,

boots, gloves.

And a mask,

with reflective lenses.

A shadow for the eyes.

One by one,

he picked them off

with his hatchet.

Chop. Chop. Chop.

You know, by the time

he was finished,

there was less left

of the campers' bodies

than wasn't.

- Uh-huh.

- It took them days

to figure out

whose parts were whose.

They say he still walks

these very grounds

to this day,

waiting to strike again.

Heard it.

Whoa, heavy.

For sure.

And on that note,

I'm gonna go in.

I think I'm gonna head in too.

Great timing there, old buddy.

Got nothing

to do with timing, Brett.

It's a little thing

called pacing.

It's only Thursday night,

we've got a long weekend

of debauchery ahead of us.

That, we do.

Man,

that's a pretty spooky story.

I mean, for everyone besides me.

Boo.

Ow.

So, uh, how was my timing?

Are you referring

to Brett the Jet's comments?

No.

Much as I hate to admit it.

I... I... I don't think I'm ready.

But I'm getting close.

It's okay, hey, no, no.

No, no, it's all right.

No pressure, no pressure at all.

It's just

the wellbeing of my loins

we're talking about.

You know, they could just

stop working, fall off

and we won't be able

to have kids.

But it's the risk

we're going to have

to take, I guess.

- Oh, God, shut up.

- It could happen.

So, uh, kids, huh?

What?

You, um, you just said

"kids" back there.

I don't know

if we should get that far

ahead of ourselves, babe.

Maybe someday?

Sure.

Sure, yeah. Maybe someday.

What?

I thought I saw something.

Give me a f*cking heart att*ck.

Do that again, I'm going

to start withholding sex.

Coming?

Get up, bitch,

we're going to the lake.

Up, up, up, let's go.

Wake up, wake up,

wake up, wake up.

We're going to the lake,

we're going to go to the lake.

- Okay, okay.

- Come on, come on, come on.

f*ck me.

Do you guys need help

with carrying...

Nah.

Brave this heat Mary.

Sixth grade,

three days undefeated.

Come on!

I told you it's gonna...

Bullshit!

Come on, Andy,

that's your fault.

- All right!

- Don't worry about it Brett.

You can... you feel it.

- I want the heat!

- You want the heat?

Strike her ass out of here, bro.

No going easy on her!

Oh, you know.

Here comes the heat Mary.

Better get ready.

Let's go Mary!

- Hah!

- Oh, sh*t.

- Hey!

- Oh, sh*t, she roped it.

Yeah, Mary!

Someone forgot to tell us

we're out of this game.

You bet your ass Chez.

That's a double.

Will you put

a f*cking bow on it Andy?

If I knew you're gonna be

such a p*ssy,

I wouldn't have picked you

on my team.

Would you chill out?

We're going

to f*cking win anyway.

How?

I'll carry you.

Don't worry about it.

Nobody carries

"The Jet," bro. Okay?

You can eat sh*t and die.

Eat sh*t and live, Brett.

Brett.

Brett.

I don't want to be

in the water anymore.

I'm trying to win

a game here, okay?

Go... go stand in your position.

- Are you kidding me right now?

- Go stay in your position.

Trying to win a game.

- Do not talk to me.

- Lock it in...

- Do not talk to me.

- Over there.

Little prissy.

- Hey, Jerry.

- Ah, hey.

You wanna look

for shells or something?

Ah, we gotta... we gotta play.

I'm so... I... I...

- Brett, Brett.

- Don't look at me!

Seriously,

don't look at me right now.

I'm not talking to you.

Swing and a miss!

I cannot be stopped.

Brett, can you do something

about this, please?

I don't... sorry.

Batter up. Let's go.

I didn't touch it.

All right, everybody,

The Jet has finally arrived.

- Mary...

- Boo!

Don't think I didn't remember

what you did last inning.

Guess what?

Andy's not here to save you.

And that ball's coming straight

for those big ass ears of yours.

Yeah, right.

Ah, f*ck, babe!

My bad. Sorry. Throw back.

Okay. Ball one.

And that boy

is out of here, baby.

Call it game.

All right, good game, everybody.

Losers carry the cooler back,

sorry, I don't make the rules.

- Losers!

- I am so sorry.

- You ready man?

- Oh, yeah, brother.

So, let's blaze it up.

Hey, man,

I think we should, like,

have girlfriends.

- What for, bro?

- I don't know.

Seems like

everybody else has one

asides us.

Makes us kind of feel

like the odd mans out.

Jerry doesn't have a girlfriend.

Yeah, that's Jerry.

Nobody likes that kid.

- That's true.

- Yeah.

I didn't think of that.

You know, man,

we don't need girlfriends

to not feel like

the odd man out.

You mean that?

Yeah, man. You got to joint.

This is about cashed out,

so, I'm gonna head back, okay?

Come on, man.

We'll smoke on the dock.

Will be the last time.

Yeah,

but I'm just kind of over it.

That's cool, man.

- I'll see you later.

- Yeah.

Oh!

f*ck it.

Hey, hey, hey. No!

No, hey, ow! Uh, no!

No! No! No!

Water!

Water! Come on!

Oh, yeah!

- Casey.

- Where were you?

We were at the lake.

Yeah, you were at the lake.

You realize you left me here?

- Hey, um, Andy?

- Yeah?

Can I talk to you

inside for a sec?

Yeah.

- Uh, Trish?

- Yeah?

Can you, um...

Yes.

What is your name?

After you.

You know what?

I forgot.

Oh, okay.

So anybody wanna smoke

some ganj?

f*ck no.

What's up, babe?

I was hoping we could talk

about what happened back there.

Hey, babe,

I didn't pick the teams,

all right?

I can't just toss you a gimme

every single time you're at bat.

I gave you the one, right?

Not talking about that.

I'm talking about

how Brett said

that sh*t about my ears

like I said he would

and you didn't do anything.

I'm sorry, babe.

Like, we specifically

talked about it, you know?

I know, I just...

I forgot, I forgot.

I mean, I don't know

what you want me to say

other than I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

It's not about

what I want you to say.

It's like, I just, like,

want to feel like you hear me,

you know?

I don't... I don't really

know what that means.

Babe, to be honest,

I mean, I made a mistake.

I feel, like,

you're kind of

making this out to be, like,

I purposely slighted you

or something,

I mean, I forgot something.

Well, does it not matter

to you that you promised?

I mean, like,

I specifically asked you

to promise and you did.

Okay, why are you attacking me?

I mean, what,

do I not feel bad enough?

You want me to feel worse?

I can cry

or something if you want.

I'm not attacking you.

Andy, I feel, like,

every time we try to have

some sort of

serious conversation,

you get really defensive

and you say

that I'm attacking you.

Because it feels,

like, you're attacking.

- I'm not attacking you.

- Then what?

You're not attacking me,

what are you doing?

I mean, 'cause you're

b*ating around the bush.

Why? Is there something

you wanna say?

What are we talking about?

If you just listen

to me, I can tell you.

Okay, sorry. Please go.

I feel, like...

I feel, like,

you don't really commit to me,

you know?

No. No, I don't know.

You're my girlfriend, right?

I mean, is that on a commitment?

Ah, yes, I just...

Do you ever feel, like...

do you ever feel, like,

everybody loves the Andy,

because...

because you don't really

stand by anything

or anyone?

What the f*ck is that

even supposed to mean?

I laugh at some f*cking joke

and now I don't stand

by my girlfriend?

You broke a promise

or forgot you even made one,

and you know what?

I can't tell which one

is worse at this point.

You never want

to have a conversation

about our future.

And every time we try to have

a serious conversation,

you just never happen

to want to have it.

Mary.

I'm 18 g*dd*mn years old.

Okay?

What do you want from me?

You want me to get down

on my bended knee

and pull out a diamond ring?

Gonna go throw

on my shining suit of armor

and go kick Brett's ass,

what do you want?

Yeah, I think

I can go for some ganj here,

let's go and do it.

You know,

I got a tent to set up.

Oh, right, I forgot about that.

All right. Bye, Caitlin.

Why do you make

everything serious to me

into some kind of joke?

Not now, Casey. Seriously.

No, you can't just

leave me here, I'm your sister.

God damn it, Casey,

you are not my sister,

can you just f*ck off?

Great. Smooth, Mary.

- Now we got to deal with this.

- Can you stop?

It's getting dark out.

Come on.

All right, fine. Let's go.

You know, they've been in there

for quite a while now, eh?

Yeah, I want to say

they got the tent set up,

what...

30 minutes ago?

Now, What can we do in a tent

in 30 minutes?

Brett the Jet, baby.

Trish.

Brett the Jet, baby!

Adamsville, Brett the Jet, baby.

- I'm drawing a blank.

- Right?

Brett the Jet, baby.

Here he comes.

Ah, Trish.

Ah, here comes the jet.

Ah, it's at 30.

20. Ah, it's a ten.

What was that?

What?

I heard something outside.

A... a noise?

We're outside, you know?

- What if someone's out there?

- Like pervin' us?

Yes, go check.

Hey, assholes.

See?

It's nothing. Come on.

I don't trust it.

Just go check.

Babe,

Jet was about to blast off.

Okay, you're not blasting sh*t

until you go check.

Fine.

Uh-oh. What do we have here?

It seems, like,

Brett has expelled

from the tent.

While Trish has, uh,

remained inside.

Yes, indeed.

Things have complicated.

Indeed, indeed.

Are you assholes out here?

You know, I'm going

to f*ck you up if you are.

- Case!

- Casey!

Come on, Case.

Come on out.

Casey, I'm sorry.

Casey,

you're the best, little sissy,

please come back.

Mary, look...

you're... you're right,

you were right.

I was being a d*ck, okay?

Let's just...

Let's just find Casey,

and when we get back,

we'll have

a serious conversation, okay?

I promise.

Just like you promised

last time.

f*ck it, f*ck it,

I tried, f*ck it.

f*cking bullshit.

Jet's taking a piss.

Don't want

to get you dirty, baby.

Ooh, we have contact.

You know, see,

I can definitely get myself

in the right headspace

to go round two that fast.

You know, Jerry,

it's hard for a lot of men,

but that's assuming

this still isn't round one.

Indubitably.

In doobie-dilly.

Shut up.

Oh!

Attaboy, Brett.

Can't help it.

They don't call him "the Jet"

for nothing, man.

No.

Oh, f*ck, dude,

she's f*cking dead, man.

f*ck!

Dude, where the f*ck you going?

Where are you going, man?

I'm getting

the f*ck out of here.

Dude, we got to go

get everyone else.

You can go on Chester's car,

buddy, I'm sorry, man.

No!

Chester has the keys.

I don't even know

where Chester is.

Ah, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck.

Oh, Jesus, f*ck.

Ooh, tough spot for Captain Jer.

Does he stay or does he go?

Oh!

I just hope he didn't forget

to check the back seat.

- Casey!

- Case!

Casey, are you in here?

Come on Case, don't mess around!

God damn it.

I told you

she wasn't f*cking in here.

It was worth a sh*t, wasn't it?

Where is everyone?

We need help.

Jesus, Noah,

what happened to you?

Get the f*ck out of here

right now.

Well... slow down.

What are you talking about?

There's no time to slow down.

Trish is dead,

and the van is gone.

What?

Jerry and I saw

someone k*ll Trish

and Brett's probably dead too,

and then Jerry took the van.

All right, Noah,

be serious for a second, man.

Are you f*cking with us or what?

- No, I'm not f*cking...

- Jesus! f*ck!

Oh, my God!

Don't f*cking touch it!

I'm just trying

to f*cking help, all right?

Holy f*cking sh*t.

He's dead.

All right, we gotta think,

we gotta think.

How the f*ck are we going to

get out of here, seriously?

I don't know, he just said

Jerry took the van.

Well, I don't know.

Maybe he hasn't left yet.

- Ow!

- What is that?

They haven't left yet.

f*ck me!

All right, we gotta

at least get to the road.

Oh, Chekov's g*n.

Holy sh*t.

You're right.

It's probably still

in his office, let's go.

Hey, Jerry.

No, don't, just don't look.

Don't look, come here.

Yeah, we gotta go.

We gotta go. Come on.

- Jerry.

- Just go, we gotta go.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Look at me, look at me,

look at me, look at me.

Okay, you're fine.

You're okay, you're okay.

Okay? Uh, where

did he say that g*n was?

Um, uh, top right drawer.

- Go check it.

- Top right drawer!

Babe, is there a key here?

Is there a key?

Wait, wait, wait. Oh, God!

What, babe?

Chekov never left last night.

So, that means...

- He never made it to his car.

- Oh, yes.

Babe, catch.

Jesus, hey, um, babe,

maybe don't throw that, yeah?

Sorry.

He said other lot

on the far side, right?

- Yes.

- Let's get there then.

- Wait, where are we going?

- Not now baby, come on.

What are you talking about?

We have to go back for Casey.

Mary, I'm not so sure

that's a good idea.

What are you talking about?

Come on.

It doesn't look like there's

anybody left back there.

- Andy, stop it.

- We didn't find her.

Andy, stop it.

I'm sorry.

I just really don't think

it's a good idea.

I cannot believe

what I'm hearing from you

right now.

This is exactly

what we were

just fighting about.

- Come on, don't say that.

- Come on, Andy.

- It's not fair, stop it.

- Come on!

Stop it!

If you want me to be safe,

then come with me.

Baby, you know I have to.

Baby we got this, come on.

Come on, don't go Mary,

please don't.

f*ck!

Stay the f*ck

away from my sister.

Sissy!

Casey.

Casey, you okay?

- Yeah, I'm okay.

- Are you okay?

Okay, we gotta

get you out of here, okay?

Behind you!

No, no, no, no.

Please, please, please.

- Nice sh*t, babe.

- Andy.

Andy! Andy!

Come, babe. Come.

Andy!

Hey, Mary.

Andy,

we gotta get you out of here.

Let's get you out

of here, come on.

No, no, no. Put me down.

Just... just put me down.

You came back. You came back!

You know I had to.

I know, I know.

Mary, I'm going

to be honest with you, okay?

I don't think

I have a long time.

Don't say that.

Don't f*cking say that.

Mary, I mean it.

No.

I love you.

More than anything.

I love you more than that.

I love you more than that.

Where's Case?

- Where's Casey?

- Casey!

Hey, Case.

It looks like...

Looks like I will have to

stick around here for a minute,

okay?

Just take care of your sister

while I am gone.

Okay, can you do that for me?

I promise.

Oh, thanks Case.

Mary.

I'll see you.

No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no.

No!

What Casey? What?

We have to go.

We gotta go.

Ooh, tough break for Andy.

You know, I bet

you would have finally put out

after that, too.

All right, folks,

for the final time

on this extra spooky evening,

can I just say

happy Halloween.

DJ Freaky Phil signing off.

Dig?
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