Lovesick (1983)

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Lovesick (1983)

Post by bunniefuu »

Hello, it's Dr. Benjamin.
I'm in the office now.

Are there any messages
for me?

Okay.
Thanks very much.

[ Intercom buzzes ]

Who is it?

Woman:
So he just walks up to me

and starts unbuttoning
my blouse --

and everybody's downstairs
having dessert.

And the whole thing
is incredibly erotic

because I don't even know
his name.

And he starts to kiss me...

And we're on the bed...

And...
He takes his hand...

And --
you know what he does?

Um...your time's up.

We'll have to pick it up
next time.

I don't know,
I don't know.

Nothing makes any sense.

Why fight it?
What's the point?

There is no point.
That's my point.

Well, Mr. Hausman,
life is difficult,

but it's better
than the alternative.

Where did you get that?
In a fortune cookie?

We do our best,
Mr. Hausman.

What's this, a door?

For 14 months, I didn't
even know it's a door.

Mr. Hausman...

Mr. Hausman!

Why don't you come inside
and we'll talk about it?

Oh, this is nice.

Look at that guy
double-parked.

The world really sucks.

Mr. Hausman --

I don't want to talk
about it.

I'm sick of talk.
I want some action.

It's more like,
who am I, really?

Who am I?

Am I wife,
Mrs. Irwin mondragon

of New York City
and great neck?

Or am I mother, daughter,
travel agent?

Or am I merely perhaps...
Patient?

Your patient.

What do you think?

Man: He has a wonderful
sense of humor.

He's a fabulous cook.

I think I could be faithful
to him.

What does he do?

He's a mounted policeman.

We met in the park.

He was on his horse.

He's gonna leave
his wife.

Well, he is!

[ Sighs ]

[ Clank ]

Your time is up,
Mr. Arnold.

Murphy,
a patient's admitted

with a massive
barbiturate overdose.

What's the procedure?

Narcan or lorfan.
I.V. Or intramuscular.

Right. What else?

What else?

Dr. Benjamin --
excuse me?

The presentation
has changed

from 3:00 to 4:00 today.

You have a seminar
tomorrow at 8:00.

Dr. Cole wants
your opinion on a case.

Your wife called.

She said don't forget
Dr. Jaffe's birthday present.

Anything else?

She said try
to be home on time.

Hello, Mr. Zuckerman.

Hello, Dr. Benjamin.

Any better today?

No.

Mr. Zuckerman
used to teach economics

at uh...Where?

Wisconsin.

And about five years ago,

he lost his position
because of --

well,
tell the other doctors.

Rays.

Mr. Zuckerman feels

that there are these
sinister rays and voices

beaming into his head

from the top
of the world trade center

and scrambling his brains,
with a result

that he has been unable
to secure other employment.

Is that
a fair description?

Oh, yes.

What was
your last medication?

Thioridazine,
150 milligrams.

But it's not working.

Mr. Zuckerman,

I've been studying
your problem,

and I'm gonna prescribe
a protective hat.

What's that?

I want you
to wear this.

It'll prevent the rays
from getting to your brain.

They will bounce
off it.

What's this, egg salad?

No, that's a special
anti-ray substance,

hydrogen bisulfite.

It's...pentagon stuff.

Any better?

Yes.
Yeah, that's good.

Great.

Thanks, doc.

* happy birthday, dear Otto *

* happy birthday to you *

[ cheers and applause ]

* for he's
a jolly good fellow *

* for he's
a jolly good fellow *

* for he's
a jolly good fellow *

"To Otto, with love
and affection,

Katie and Saul."

Saul,
I gotta talk to you.

Huh?

I gotta talk to you.

Okay.

Go on.

I have a patient
in her 20s,

typical anxiety neurosis.

She just walks
into the office.

A face, a body, a voice.

God help me.

I mean, I'm a big boy.
I know the rules.

I love Brenda.

But, my god,
this is different.

There's something
about her.

She's fresh, smart,
she's intuitive.

She wrote a play!

Even her name is special --
Chloe.

Chloe Allen.

Don't tell me names!

Oh, god. I'm sorry.
No names.

All right, Saul.
I'm losing my mind.

I can't concentrate.

All I can think

is how can I get her
to run away with me.

I have these fantasies,
I get dizzy.

I'm just going
straight to hell!

It's terrible!
I'm taking her money!

I feel so guilty!

So refer the case.

Send her to somebody else.

I think Sam feldman
has a free hour.

Are you crazy?!

Ha! Ha! Give her up?

Give her up,

and get another patient
like Mrs. Debona?

She has a mustache!

I'll k*ll myself,
I swear it!

It's not that bad.

At least you're not sleeping
with her...Are you?

No.

Come on,
we have to be strong.

You're an ethical man.

Not in here, I'm not.
I have evil thoughts.

[ Door opens ]

Honey? The cake.

Just a second, dear.

[ Sighs ]

You can't throw
everything away

over a little
counter-transference.

You're right.

She'd never have me
anyway.

Brenda looks great, huh?

She looks terrific.

I've got to pay more attention
to her sexually.

Maybe tonight.

Sounds like a good idea.

Yeah...well, okay.

Thanks. I'm okay now.

Yeah?

Yeah, I just needed
to ventilate a little.

So...the apartment
looks great.

What did you do,
paint it or what?

Did you do something
to your hair, Otto?

Not bad, huh?

I had it styled.
70 bucks. Vidal sassoon.

What do you think?

It makes me
look younger, right?

[ Cheers and applause ]

That was a nice party.

Otto looked
a little strained tonight.

No, he's fine.

Just a little problem
at the office.

[ Telephone rings ]

Hello?

Brenda, what's wrong?

My god!

Otto collapsed.
His heart.

Really?
Is it serious?

[ Somber organ music plays ]

[ Telephone rings ]

Dr. Benjamin: Hello?

Woman:
Hello, Dr. Benjamin?

This is Dr. Benjamin.

Oh, hi,
my name is Chloe Allen.

I was given your number
by Dr. Jaffe's service.

I was a patient?

Dr. Benjamin?

Miss, um, Allen?

Hello.

I am Dr. Saul Benjamin.

Would you come in,
please?

Take a seat.

[ Clears throat ]

So, how can I help?

I'm not sure.

Thank you
for seeing me so quickly.

Not at all.

Such a terrible thing --
Dr. Jaffe.

Yeah. Yes,
it was a tragic loss.

Tell me, why did you go
into treatment originally?

About a month
after I came to New York,

I started to get these att*cks.
What do you call them?

Anxiety att*cks?

Anxiety att*cks.

Go on.

Well, I'd be somewhere,
in my apartment or a store,

and suddenly
my heart would start b*ating

and my head
would start buzzing

and everything
would become confused

and I'd feel dizzy.

You know what I think?

I think it's being alone
in the city

for the first time.

I'm from this
very small town in Illinois,

which is very different
from New York.

I thought
my anxiety att*cks were --

being in the city alone
for the first time.

Of course, I am nervous
about the play, too.

You see, I wrote a play,
which is --

[ With Austrian accent ]
Hey, what is this?

What are you doing?

Nothing.

I'm just having
a little fantasy.

That's some nothing.

Haven't you read
what I wrote

on counter-transference,
by any chance?

Of course.

And you're still going
to treat her?

Why not?

You're infatuated
with her.

After five minutes?

Who are you kidding?
Five seconds.

I think
she likes you, too.

Really?
How do you know?

Look at the pupils.
Wide open.

Sexually receptive.

How do you know
about that study?

They only did that
last year.

I try to keep up
with the literature.

Don't worry.
I can handle it.

Sure.

Think I can't?

I'm sorry.
Your time is up.

We'll have to stop
for now.

Allen: I wrote a play
about a year ago,

and I sent it to Joe papp
down at the public theatre.

And he loved it,

and he showed it
to Ted caruso,

and Ted loved it!

And they're gonna do
a workshop production of it,

which is an incredible break
for an unknown playwright.

Ted?

Ted caruso?

Oh, the actor!

The actor, yes.

So you wrote a play

and Ted caruso
is going to appear in it?

Right.

He's done
his three big films,

and he wants to get back
to basics.

You know, off-Broadway,
no money, the theatre.

How's it going?

Fine.

Ted's a little tense.

He tends to break things
in the apartment.

Oh, the apartment.
You're living together?

Yeah, well, he has a key.

What would you like to see
happen to this relationship?

I don't know.
Anything.

Um...tell me a bit more
about this...Actor.

I don't know, I don't know.

I'll tell you, man,

you sure are full
of surprises here.

First you tell me

I'm the most fascinating
person you ever met, right?

And then the next minute,

I can't get a straight answer
from you.

Can I stop?

I'm gonna stop here,
okay?

I'm sorry.

Yes, Ted, what is it?

I don't know, man.
I don't know.

Who is she?

Who are you?
Who am I?

Maybe it needs a better
line or something.

That's a new line.

It feels artificial.

It doesn't look
artificial.

It feels artificial.

But it doesn't --

yeah, but I say
it feels artificial!

Anybody got a nail?

Yes, here somewhere.

Well, have you got
any ideas?

Who? Me?

What do I know?

I'm not the writer.
I'm just an actor.

But I'll tell you
something.

I've got to act truth.

I wish people
would understand that.

You got to respect
his intuition.

Why?

Because he sells
a lot of tickets.

Chloe, could I talk to you
for a minute?

Look, Chloe, this is
a work process here,

you understand?

You gotta get used
to the agony, the defeat,

the victory,
the confrontations.

But you gotta remember,
it's still me, Teddy.

One minute it's fine,
the next it needs work.

Chloe, are you
getting enough rest?

You're making
everybody crazy.

That's why I get
all that money.

I embody
unpredictability.

Can we talk
about the scene?

Oh, yeah, sure.

What do you want
to talk about?

Ted, I don't think
it needs to be rewritten.

If you'd just give it
a chance,

I think that line
was really good.

I think we could have
an important play here

if you would take it
seriously.

I'm taking it seriously!

You got people
willing to put up money,

you got actors,
you got stagehands.

Ted, please don't
get crazy.

I'm not getting crazy.

I just don't think
it needs to be --

yeah, but I do,

and I am the one
who has to go out there!

This isn't amateur time
back in "illi-noise!"

This is the theatre!

The sacred
professional theatre!

This is not a building,
it is a temple!

And you gotta respect that!

And if certain people
cannot be flexible,

then they ought
to forget it!

Forget the whole thing!

Okay?

Do you think he's using
his position to manipulate you?

No, you see,
the thing with him

is he's an artist,
he's emotional.

That's why he's so good
on stage --

that sense of danger.

And he's always so guilty
and vulnerable afterward.

I wish you could meet him.
It's -- it's...

It's really hard
not to like him.

Now I'm defending him.

[ Sighs ]

Something wrong?

I had...Oh, nothing.

No, go on.

I had the weirdest dream
last night.

Tell me.

Forget it.

No, just forget it,
forget it.

No, tell me.

No, no, no.

Tell me, tell me.

No, really,
never mind, really.

No, no.

It's kind of intimate --
what they call a "sex" dream.

Everything is useful.

I'd like to make
a suggestion.

It may make you feel
a little strange,

but I think ultimately,
it will be of use.

I was in a strange,
new place -- a room.

And there was
this strange man there,

but I seemed
to know him, also.

And we were making love.

And he was very wise
and gentle and kind.

And you
were touching me --

excuse me?

I didn't catch
the last few words.

I said he was touching me?

R...right.

Sorry.

Anyway, he knew
just what to do.

Do you know what I mean?

His name was herzog!

Herzog. I mean, I don't know
anybody named herzog.

What does this name
bring to mind?

Nothing, really.

Well, I -- there's that book,
what's that book?

Um..."herzog" by...

By bellow something,
bellow...What's his name?

I don't remember
his first name,

which is odd because
I read the novel.

Saul.

What?

Saul bellow.

The author's first name
is Saul.

Oh, boy.

Really?

[ Loud music plays,
indistinct conversations ]

I'm sorry.

Hello, darling?
Look okay?

It looks great.

Saul! Katie!

Hi, Sam.

Hello, doctor.

Well, he certainly doesn't
repress anything, does he?

No, not a thing.

What do you think?

Extreme h*m* panic
with pre-psychotic overtones.

I knew there was something
about it I liked.

I'm gonna buy it...
As an investment.

Speak of the devil,
there's the artist.

Jac...

Could you come over here
for a moment, please?

How are you doing?

Sold two,
holds on three.

And I think the critic
from art news is here.

Jac applezweig,

I'd like you
to meet my husband

Saul Benjamin.

Dr. Fessner.

Pleased to meet you.

Nice stuff.

Why don't you go
into my office

and we'll talk.

Jac, take him
on the grand tour.

You're a shrink.

Right, right.

Your wife told me.
She's a dynamite lady.

Thank you.

So what do you think?
Does it get you hot?

Well,
it's very vivid stuff.

Vivid?

You're an analyst, right?

What I want to know is,
does it get you horny?

Uh...well, I...

See that guy
in the picture there?

That's me.

I idealize a little.

I play
with the proportions.

Do you think it's sick
to play with the proportions?

I think we can
all dream...A bit.

Do you think
I need treatment?

This is pretty
sick stuff here, right?

It's hard
to be purely erotic.

Most of the time
you end up with filth.

Maybe I should come
to see you.

You seem to be
functioning very well.

Yeah, now,
but about 10 years ago,

I was doing a lot of dr*gs
and it blew my mind.

I went to see
this lady shrink.

I knocked up her daughter.

They both moved in
with me.

I moved out.
They went gay.

That women is
more screwed up than I was.

Anyway, I've got to say hello
to some people.

Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.

[ Music continues ]

[ Dials ]

[ Ring ]

[ Ring ]

[ Ring ]

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?
Ted, is that you?

[ Dial tone ]

It's embarrassing.

Nothing is embarrassing
to the analyst.

Well, there I was
in the middle

of this obscene phone call,
and I thought of you.

Oh? Why?

I thought you'd know
what to say to this creep

to scare him away.

You felt the need of someone
strong and supportive.

I guess so.

Like the man
in the dream.

The dream?

From the last session?
The strange room...

Oh, that dream.

Well, feelings towards
the analyst are an inevitable

and valuable part
of the treatment.

I never had any feelings
like this toward Dr. Jaffe.

I never had any...Fantasies.

Fantasies?

What kind of fantasy?

It's too weird.

Oh...no, you should let me
decide that.

Sometimes
when I'm sitting here,

I wonder
what it would be like

if you leaned over
and kissed me.

Well, that's perfectly...

How often
does this fantasy occur?

Oh...

Hmm. Um...Are you having
one now?

Mm-hmm.

Hmm.

[ Dreamy music playing ]

Dr. Benjamin...

Dr. Benjamin,

your next patient,
Mrs. Mondragon.

[ Sighs disgustedly ]

Did you...Forget?

Dr. Benjamin.

Dr. Benjamin.

[ Intercom buzzes ]

Oh, I'm sorry.

[ Buzzing ]

[ Buzzing ]

Maybe it's broken?

No, she should push the door
when the buzzer sounds.

There, she's in.

Go on.

I think my time is up.

Okay...well, I'll see you
next time then.

Okay.

Bye.

Bye.

[ Door closes ]

[ Bell rings ]

Your door
doesn't work again.

Ah...mrs. Mondragon,
I-I can't see you today.

Something came up.
I'm really sorry.

[ Gasping ]
What about my problem?

**

[ Man, woman
speaking distantly ]

Who are you?

Line?

"Bill."

Bill.
Bill Robinson.

So, how does it feel to be
an obsessive-compulsive?

Shhh.

You're cracking.

Don't you know
the warning signs?

I'm in full control.

Sure you are.

"...i got started
out there,"

it's like,
"you are full of surprises."

It means nothing.

I'm getting hung up here.

I can't work like this.
I'm gonna take five.

See, he's giving her
a hard time.

I wrote an interesting paper
about a play -- "oedipus."

Did you ever read it?

What?

Yes, yes, of course.

Excuse me.

Attractive young woman.

Hi, clo.

Your new scene is...
Wonderful.

Oh, thanks.

Catch you later.

Listen, Ted,
that new scene --

it's good,
it's good.

Could I talk to you
for a minute?

Allen:
What did she want?

Caruso: Who? Treva?

She wanted
to run some lines.

I tried
to get rid of her.

Allen: She's not
having problems...?

Caruso:
Nah, she's a good kid.

She's okay,
but she has a quality.

Allen: I thought if
there was some line...

Look, uh, Chloe.

I, uh...
I want to apologize

about blowing up
the other day at rehearsal.

Oh, Ted.

No, no, I feel terrible
about it.

Sometimes my instrument
gets too keyed up and...

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Well, we're all tense.
It's all right.

Oh, please.

We're still friends?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah?

There you go.

[ Sighs deeply ]

Look at you.

Ted...

[ Pager beeping ]

Somebody there?

Hello?

Hey, can I help you?

Do you got a problem
or what?

Greeks.

[ Thunder rumbles ]

Hello. Can I speak
to Dr. Geller?

Larry, Larry, hi.

It's Saul.
I have to see you right away.

Saul...
You look terrible!

What in the hell's
happened?

It happens.

Counter-transference.

Want a cookie?

No, thank you.

It's very compelling.

What?

Compelling.
The counter-transference.

Of course,
it's compelling!

It comes from the bottom,
the muck.

Want to sleep
with this patient?

Yes.

Hmm?

For god's sake,
I-I called her on the phone,

and when she answered,
I-I hung up.

I'm her analyst,

and I made a prank
phone call to her.

This afternoon I followed her
into the theatre.

He kissed her,
that pretentious little sh*t!

It was terrible.
I nearly got caught.

As long as you
don't do anything foolish.

I-I get so jealous
I can't listen.

And the fantasies
are starting again.

Relax.
Take a tranquilizer.

You can handle it.
I trained you.

I know
what I'm talking about.

It's not that my life's
been that terrible, you know?

Maybe it would have been
better if it were,

then I'd have a reason
to change it.

It's when your life
is just tolerable.

Sometimes I think
that's the real horror.

A slow...Quiet...Death
of the soul.

[ Snoring ]

Larry?

Larry, for god's sake!
Larry!

[ Drowsily ] Eh? So...
What do you think?

[ Dog growls ]

There, boy, there.

[ Congested ] Perhaps
you'd like to examine

why you came
35 minutes late

for your session today.

I forgot.

You forgot
your analytic session?

I've been under
so much pressure lately.

Oh, yeah?

There was a crazy hanging
around the other night.

A guy
in the costume room.

Did you get a look
at him?

No, he ran out
into the street.

Ted and I
were going over some lines,

and this creature
jumps out at US.

It was strange.

Ah-choo!

Bless you.

Thank you.

You were...
Going over some lines?

Yeah. Why?

In the costume room?

Mm-hmm. Why?

It just seems an odd place
to run a scene.

Why?

In the costume room?

Then what happened?

Everybody was so rattled,
we called off rehearsal,

Ted took me home.

And then what?

That's it.

That's it? Go on.

We had some wine
and we talked.

Some wine?

Why?
Is something wrong?

No. Why?

It sounded
like you disapproved.

What makes you
think that?

The tone of your voice.

There was no tone
in my voice.

Yes, there was.

No, there wasn't.

I think there was.

Arrrrrr!

It's all right.

Do you think we could get back
to the subject?

Right. Sure.
What was it?

I think it would be --

damn!

I think
it would be very fruitful

to examine, in some detail,

this obviously
destructive relationship

and the drinking of wine
at all hours

and god knows what!

Nothing happened.

Uh-huh.

I swear.

Anything that happens
goes in my journal.

Journal?

You keep a journal?
Like a diary?

Yes.

What do you write
in it?

Things.

Things you have difficulty
expressing in here?

Is that against
the rules?

The only rule is to say
what comes to mind.

Listen, are you okay?

Yeah. Why?

You're not angry with me?

Of course not.
I'm your analyst.

Yeah.

Well, I see by the clock
that your time is up.

Oh, right.

I'll see you next time.

Goodbye.

Bye.

[ Clears throat,
coughs ]

[ Door closes ]

[ Intercom buzzes ]

Yes?

Dr. Benjamin,
this is miss Allen.

Did I leave my wallet
on your desk?

Just a minute.
I'll see.

Oh, thank god.
I thought I lost it.

Well, I'll be late
for rehearsal.

Thanks. Bye.

Bye.

It is my
professional opinion,

as the person
who invented psychoanalysis,

that you are now
"nutsy fagin."

I have to see
what's in that diary.

It's for her own good.

What of
the analytic contract?

She left her purse
with her keys in it.

She wants me to see it.

You never heard
of a freudian slip?

No. What's that?

Listen to this.
"Thursday, Dr. B."

That's me.

"Dr. Benjamin.

"Underneath the cool façade,
a kind, gentle man,

enormously sexual."

See?

I see that you are flushing
a brilliant career

down the toilet.

Well...

Look, I, uh...

I really think
I should come up

and we should discuss
that last scene --

oh, I don't think so.
No, thanks, Ted.

It's okay.
Come on.

Eh, come on.

I have hands like her father.

Congratulations.

A fetishist
and an obsessive.

You'll be very happy
together.

[ Door closes ]

Caruso: You know, most actors
would play him like a villain.

It's okay, but it's not...
It's not really.

It's much too easy.

What you have to do

is look at it
from his point of view.

Right? He was short,

he was a king,
and he had a heart.

Ted...good night.

Okay, look.

I admit that k*lling
the two kids...

[ Continues speaking
unintelligibly ]

...art, you, me, life, truth,
the audience.

That's the point.

Now take Shakespeare.

Shakespeare was a professional.
He knew what he was doing.

Shakespeare called actors

the abstract and the brief
chroniclers of their times.

I mean, he was very heavy.

He was --
he was a great writer.

Ted, I am really wet
and exhausted, okay?

I like you wet.

No, Ted, no.

Ooooh. "No, Ted, no."

Hey, I see you
got the Chekhov book

I told you about, huh?

You know he d*ed
on my birthday?

It's great stuff, man.
Great stuff.

Evans wants me to do
"the sea gull" with Vanessa.

If this were a dream,

I would interpret it
in this way.

You and I are in the womb
of this woman.

The tub
represents the woman.

And she is giving birth
to US.

What? What?

Okay, maybe not.

Ted, I wish you'd go.
This is very destructive.

Oh, yeah? Says who?

Dr. Benjamin.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah.

El shrinko, right?

Don't you know
they're the enemy?

They never have any fun,

they never want anybody
to have any fun.

Good night!

Am I getting
the brush here?

[ Knock on door ]

Caruso: Chloe?

Come on,
what's happening, man?

I'm taking a shower, Ted.
Good night.

[ Water runs ]

[ Water stops ]

Hello.

Hello.

It's Dr. Benjamin.

Hi.

Please don't scream
or be upset in any way.

Oh, no, no.

It's all right.
I stole your keys.

What?

You forgot your purse
and I took the keys out.

Oh...why?

Your journal -- I read it.

I think you ought
to know that.

Oh...oh, my.

Try to remain calm.

No, I'm calm.

Why are you in my bathtub?

I have to speak to you.

Yes? Why?

I can't treat you anymore.

Why not?

I'm in love with you.

Listen,
do you want to come out?

No, this is fine for now.

Just wait here a minute.

[ Softly ]
Oh, okay.

[ Door opens ]

It's okay.
He's gone.

This is a nice place.
Did you do it yourself?

Your hair is wet.

[ Soft romantic music playing ]

It's very simple.

Whenever we humans
start thinking of ourselves

as something better,
something loftier,

than the monkey or the rabbit
or the fruit fly,

then mother nature steps in

and reminds US
what we really are -- animals.

This is my great lesson.
You can take it or leave it.

Are you okay?

Mm...sure.

Don't worry.
It'll all work out.

Saul, I want you
to go back into analysis.

No.

You want
to throw everything away

over a little
counter-transference?

It's not just a little
counter-transference.

What is it, true love?

I have real feelings
for her.

You're in no condition
to recognize a real feeling.

Why not?

Because you're in
a neurotic state.

Those are
the real feelings.

Saul, she's a patient.
What if she sues?

It reflects
on the entire community.

Sues? For what?

Who knows?
They find something.

Breach of contract,
malpractice, r*pe.

r*pe?

r*pe! r*pe!

Did you read about that moron
in California?

Had sex with a patient.
They awarded her $3 million.

They put a very high value
on sex in California.

Very funny.

Anyway, she's not
my patient anymore.

Since when?

What do you mean,
since when?

At what point did she
stop being your patient?

After you screwed her?
Before?

During?

For god's sake man,
she's a child!

You can't mess with
her life like this.

Give it
a decent interval.

If it's genuine,
it'll survive

and you can see her
with a clear conscience.

But as of now,
you've gotta break it off.

Hi.

Hi.

You're looking very scrubbed
this morning.

Oh...I'm good
in the morning.

It's part of the old
midwestern thing.

Would you like
to order?

Yeah, I want
two scrambled eggs,

large order of orange juice,
double order of bacon,

a pot of tea,
glass of milk,

and a English muffin.

Black coffee.
Thank you.

[ Clears throat ]

You didn't sleep.

Oh, not a lot.

Neither did I.

[ Sighs ]

What was it you wanted
to talk to me about?

Look...chloe...I'm not sure
what happened last night.

I've been under a bit
of a strain lately.

I've given it
a lot of thought,

and I think that
it wouldn't be a bad idea

if we didn't see each other
for a while.

What it is

is a technical problem
called "transference."

What's that?

It's something
that happens in analysis

when a patient
takes feelings he has

towards real people
in his life,

and transfers them
onto the analyst,

who is not a real person.

Well, you're not gonna
treat me anymore.

Treat you?

We've been to bed.

There's no way in the world

I could ever be
your patient again.

Analyst.

What?

There's no way in the world
you could be my analyst.

Right, that's what I said.

Sorry.

What I'm saying is...

It's very important
that we give this...

A decent interval.

We both can evaluate.

Evaluate?
What are we gonna evaluate?

US...the relationship.

I don't know.

I'm more of a jump-right-in
kind of person.

We'll get you into treatment
with a good man.

No, thank you.

I don't think I could stand
any more treatment

till I got a little stronger,
you know?

Oh, well.

I gotta go.

I'm gonna be late
for my rehearsal.

Look, if I didn't
bring this up now,

you'd eventually
develop feelings

of anger and betrayal.

Eventually?

Oh, come on.
Not like this.

I'm thinking
maybe if I change careers.

Maybe if I became
a nutritionist.

I'm very psychic about people
and what they eat.

Sometimes I pass someone
on the street...

Remember I told you
when I was 5,

I was so happy until my turtle
was suffocated in the closet?

...starts undoing
my blouse...

And I still don't remember
his name...

And everybody's downstairs
eating peach cobbler...

And he starts
to kiss me...

And then
he takes his foot...

I knew it.

He goes
to a police convention

and picks up some trash.

But Cal...
Cal is different.

Cal was in Vietnam.

He doesn't talk much,
but the sex is fabulous!

[ Ringing ]

Yes.

Allen: Look, I'm sorry.

I didn't know
who else to call.

Chloe,
are you all right?

I don't know.

I'm sitting here
in the theatre.

Everybody left
'cause rehearsal is over,

and I can't leave.

I had a dream
last night.

Excuse me, Mr. Arnold.

I'll be with you
in a moment.

You can't leave?

I got dizzy,
went into a cold sweat,

and my head
started b*ating.

Oh, my goodness.

I was having intercourse
with my mother,

and my father
was taking photographs.

That's a wonderful thought,
Mr. Arnold.

Try and hold it
in your mind.

You...you're alone?

It's happening again.
I cannot stop trembling.

What the hell's going on?

You're having
an anxiety att*ck.

Then I sprouted wings

and flew around the room
like a bat!

Saul, can you come
and get me, please?

Mr. Arnold is having
a breakthrough

after three years.

Saul, for god's sake,
please.

Please!

Mr. Arnold,
I am very...Very sorry.

[ Tires screech ]

I am a doctor.

Please take me
to Lincoln center.

Who's that?

It's doctor...
Um...It's me.

It's okay.
I'm here.

My god, Saul, I'm sorry.
This is so embarrassing.

Don't be silly.

What's wrong?

It all closed in.

What?

Everything.

[ Sobbing ]
I started to go outside,

and suddenly everything
seemed so threatening to me.

The stairs and those people
out there in the street

and the elevator.

And then my heart
started b*ating.

I --

it's okay.

It'll pass.
It always does.

[ Sighs deeply ]

Feeling better?

Are you ready to go?

Where?

Out.

What do think
will happen?

I'll die.

[ Sympathetically ]
Oh, no.

What? What?

Will I really never
see you again?

No, no, no...
Of course you will.

But you said --

no, no.

I didn't mean it.

You won't go away?

No.

You'll stay with me?

[ Sobbing ]

Now what?

We get the check!

The end of life's
great feast, death,

brings US the check.

I'm crazy about you.

[ Pager beeps ]

That's my service.

I better check it.
It might be an emergency.

Money...money.

I have endless supplies.

[ Laughing ]

Oooh, are you okay?

Benzodiazepine
and alcohol.

Did I take
all my clothes off

at any point
during the ravioli?

I don't think so.

Good evening,
your fathernesses.

[ Chuckling ]

Oh, service,
it's Dr. Benjamin.

Right. He did?

Could you give me
the number?

[ Chuckling ]
Emergency.

Suicidal patient.

[ Telephone rings ]

Hello?

Mr. Hausman,
it's Dr. Benjamin.

What seems to be
the trouble?

You didn't think
I'd do it?

What?

O.d.

You took an overdose
of what?

Supponeryl.
About a dozen.

Supponeryl?

Yep.

White box?
Instructions in French?

Yeah, a friend of mine
brought them from Paris.

What you have there
are suppositories.

What?

Sleeping suppositories.

They're inserted
rectally.

I would recommend
a coffee enema --

black, no sugar.

Sorry.

What?

Mr. Hausman, I said
it's quite late.

I think you should go home,

and why don't we meet tomorrow
at your regular time?

No, no, no.
No regular time.

This is it.

I haven't actually
taken them yet,

but I will.

I gotta have
a session now.

No, that is impossible,
Mr. Hausman.

Perhaps you could phone
Dr. Feldman.

You're my doctor!

I'm gonna be over your office
in 10 minutes!

If you're not there,
let it be on your conscience!

[ Drunkenly ]
Hello, Mr. Hausman.

I'm at this great party
and...

And she says
from nowhere,

"I'm going to acapulco
with Ryan."

This little
nothing secretary.

I set her up --

her own apartment,
credit cards -- bonwits!

Not even a secretary,
a receptionist.

She can't even type,
for Christ's sake!

This is it.
I can't take it anymore.

What am I gonna do?

My life is over!

[ Deliriously ]
* embrace me *

* you sweet,
embraceable you *

of all the g*dd*mn...

* embrace me *

* you irreplace... *

what are you on,
anyway?

It's more important

what you think
I'm on, Mr. Haus...

Hey, doc!

Diazepam,
20 milligrams.

Methaqualone,
50 milligrams.

Get up. Walk, walk.

Alcohol. Bardolino.

Ludes? What are you
trying to do,

k*ll yourself?

Have you ever been in love,
Mr. Hausman?

Hello, operator.
I need an ambulance.

[ Siren wails ]

You're a real screw-up,
you know that?

Psychiatry is a young
science, Mr. Hausman.

Science?

How are you feeling,
by the way?

How am I feeling?

$8,000 in 14 months.
That's how I'm feeling.

They ought to recall
your little leather couch.

I'm sorry.
Your time is up now.

You look a little shaky,
a little queasy.

You want me to ride home
in the cab with you?

No, no, I'm all right.

Here.

Okay.

It's got everything
in there.

Okay.

Thanks for your help.

Oh, sure.

Okay.

Go ahead.
Get rest.

I will. Goodbye.

[ Doorbell rings ]

Saul.

Hi. I tried calling home,
but there was no reply,

so I took a chance
on coming down.

What's wrong?

Um, something...

Something happened
with one of my patients.

What's the matter?

I'm not disturbing
your work?

No, just
some cataloguing.

I need a glass of water.

Drink? Why don't we go out
and have a drink?

Katie, I had
this funny idea.

Oh.

Hello.

You remember jac?

Hi, jac.

I thought you said
he works late.

Katie: Jac, please.

Things like this
wouldn't happen

if you paid a little more
attention to your wife.

What kind of things?

[ Clears throat ]

Saul, I'm having
an affair with jac.

Sweetheart,
what's so funny?

Aren't you gonna say
anything?

I've fallen in love
with a patient.

What?

An analytic patient.

I was with her
this evening,

and I came here
to talk about it with you,

and here we all are.

Oh, my god.

Wh-who is it?
Mrs. Mondragon?

No. No, this is...

This is someone who just
walked into the office.

Jac, could you come out
and bring the vodka?

Him, huh?

I can't help it, Saul.

He's weird as hell,
but I like him.

It's like...
Well, I don't know what.

Sex with a martian.

Oh, hell, we screwed
it all up, didn't we?

No. It's all for the best.

[ Doorbell rings ]

Hi.

If you're
not absolutely sure,

I can always go
to a hotel.

Think of me as a hotel.

I don't like it.

In my personal opinion,
it stinks.

You are jumping
to conclusions, Lionel.

The man is admitted
to the emergency room

in the middle of the night,

giggling, singing,
dr*gs, alcohol.

Let me see that.

Larry, a member
of "the society."

Besides which,
he moves in with this girl.

He moved in?

Without
a decent interval?

Oh, my!

Rumors...cheap gossip.

Larry,
I spoke with his wife.

The man
is not sleeping at home.

So where's he sleeping,
in a tree?

Dr. Singer,
do you have to do that?

Yes.

I must be candid
with you.

I may recommend suspension,
possibly even termination.

Termination?

What is this?
The CIA?

We're the society, Larry.

I have to weed out
the bad apples.

I swear to you, Saul Benjamin
is a prudent, sober physician.

I said,
"how can you stand there

and say that to me?"

And she said,
"oh, really?"

And I said, "get out."

Mrs. Mondragon...

What?

Um...turn around.
I want to talk to you.

Mrs. Mondragon,

I have given this
a lot of thought.

You're wasting
your time here.

I can't help you.

What do you mean
you can't help me?

There's nothing wrong with you
that I can treat.

But what about my problems?

That's not problems you have,
that's life.

I mean,
you're a little tense,

you have some...
Mild sexual conflicts.

Everybody has something.

But I've tried to be
a good patient.

You've been
a wonderful patient,

Mrs. Mondragon,

and it's been an honor
knowing you.

Then what will I do
with the hour?

Uh, I don't know.

It's a nice time of day.
Jog, walk...Um...

Why don't you take a lover?

You don't look too good
to me.

No, no, no,
I feel...I feel fine.

Well, I see our time
is up.

Take care of yourself
and...

Have a happy life.

Dr. Benjamin: Good morning,
ladies and gentleman.

My name is Dr. Saul Benjamin,
and from now on,

I'll be here at the shelter
every morning

so that we can meet and discuss
any problems you may have

as a result
of living in the street.

Uh, should any of you wish
private counseling,

my fee will be 25 cents
for a 50-minute session.

Now, if you're ever out
on the street

and you need some sort
of medical aid,

and...
That's not unlikely --

hi, Marvin.

Hi.

Uh...

[ No audio ]

Saul, I have to talk to you
right away.

Chloe,
where have you been?

I've been calling.

Saul, hi.
What's the matter?

The society's after me.

I have to defend myself
tonight.

You have to do
a favor for me.

Sure, why? What?

I have an appointment
with a patient

in about half an hour,
and I can't keep it.

All you have to do
is meet him

and take him to
the social security office.

He's afraid of
the social security office.

Saul, is this
one of your crazies?

Because --

he's perfectly harmless.

The thing is,

I have a run-through
for Joe papp at 2:00.

It'll take 15 minutes
at the most.

Please,
you have to do it for me.

Chloe, please.

Mr. Zuckerman?

How do you do?

My name is Chloe Allen.

I'm a friend
of Dr. Benjamin.

He was gonna come with you
to go to

the social security office
to get your checks,

but he can't make it,
so I'm gonna go with you.

Um...it's just
down the block.

We're gonna pick up
that disability money?

Your money?

Mr. Zuckerman?

So...i don't know.

Can I help you
with your --

sorry.

If you could buzz
Mr. Mendez,

he knows about this.

Mr. Menendez
is on the telephone.

Oh, my god!
It's 2:00.

Can I make a call?

Woman: There's a pay phone
in the lobby.

It's just a local call!

I'm sorry,
it is against house policy

for applicants
to make personal calls.

Is everything
all right here?

Mr. Menendez, these people
will not take a seat --

Mr. Menendez, thank god!

This is Mr. Zuckerman,
Dr. Benjamin's patient.

You have the file
on the desk.

Just complete it,
have him sign it,

and you
can put it through.

Allen: Thank you,
Mr. Menendez.

All right, Mr. Zuckerman...

Have a seat.

What is
your current address?

He doesn't have one.
He lives in the street.

Which street
do you live in?

All of them.

I thought if he
just left an address --

would you permit me
to conduct this interview?

Where would you like
your checks mailed?

Neptune.

Neptune.

Is that Neptune street
or Avenue or what?

The planet Neptune.

It has to be a place
with a zip code.

Here's his address.
It's his doctor's office.

All right,
Mr. Zuckerman...

Sign here.

I can't do that.

Why not?

They'll take away
my brain.

Noooo, they won't.

Sure, they will.

They already
took away hers.

I'm afraid
it's past my lunch hour.

He didn't mean it.

He's, you know...Uh...

He's...upset.

Mr. Zuckerman!

I gotta use the phone.

Can I please --

I gotta go.
I just have to go.

Mr. Zuckerman.

Mr. Zuck...Erman.

[ Sighs ]

I don't understand
how you could walk out.

I had a run-through.

We're opening
in three days.

It took me three months
to set up that appointment.

I'm sorry.

Where's my white shirt?
It's not upstairs.

Maybe the laundry?

You sent it
to the laundry?

That's my only one!

The laundry bag. The bag.
The bag on the stairs.

You know,
it's really interesting

how you can just calmly
sit there and write

during a major crisis.

I have to finish this scene.
So I'm sorry.

No, you're not.

You think saying it
is the same as being it.

Well...it's not here.

I have to meet the entire
membership committee in an hour

without a shirt.

And I have
no black socks.

Maybe we can ink in
your ankles

with a magic marker.

Cuuuute...cuuuute.

Nothing makes an impression
on you, does it?

Life is just one long,
uninterrupted rehearsal.

I had to leave.
It wasn't my fault.

I swear it.

You're right.
It wasn't.

It's silly to expect you

to have a higher sense
of responsibility

than you're capable of.

What's that
supposed to mean?

It means that women are
more self-indulgent than men,

they give into their whims,

they act immorally
and seductively

to get what they want,

and they have less guilt
about it.

Women?

You feel you can
blithely skip through life

and do
whatever you please

because you've already
been punished.

How?

You don't know?

You have no penises!

Oh, really?

The worst
has already happened.

You have been castrated
by god!

Envy of the male member!

Saul, I don't want
what you've got.

I'm thrilled
with what I've got.

You think you are,

but subconsciously
you want one.

You all do.

We do, do we?

So, tell me this.

If we all want
what you've got,

how come you're always
running after what we've got?

What's that,
a rebuttal?

No, I'm trying
to understand.

You're saying that I left
the social security office

this afternoon

because I've been
castrated by god?

Yes.

They're gonna get you
with a net.

Don't flaunt
your ignorance.

The theory of castration

happens to be a cornerstone
of all psychoanalysis.

Well, that's your theory.
Stick to it.

You have a theory,
do you?

Yes. I go to a doctor
for help,

he turns up in my shower.

You wanted me to turn up.
It's in your diary.

"Dr. B.,
enormously sexual."

Don't believe
everything you read.

I'm a writer.
I make things up.

You do, do you?

Yes. I take people
from my real life,

and I put them
into imaginary situations.

I guess we've both done
a bit of that.

I guess so.

And I'll tell you
something else.

I'm not your nurse
or your wife

or whatever it is
you think you need.

You want clean laundry?
Go live with a chinaman.

Calm down.
You're hysterical.

I'm not hysterical.

Ooooh!

What?

Flash Gordon.

Mr. Zuckerman.
He came back.

This is wonderful!

Okay, that's it.

Just let me get him
in here.

Where are you going?

To a hotel.

[ Telephone rings ]

Just get that.

I've had it.

Let's forget the whole thing.

[ Ring ]

What do you mean?

You're crazier than Teddy!

[ Ring ]

Hold on,
Mr. Zuckerman.

I can't help it.
He's a patient.

He follows me around.

[ Ring ]

Yes, Mr. Zuckerman.
I understand.

Chloe, he's apologizing!
It's a breakthrough!

[ Door slams ]

[ Ring ]

[ Calmly ] Hello?

Yes. Dr. Benjamin.

Yes, could you hold on
one second?

Thank you very much.

Hold on, Mr. Zuckerman.
I'll be right back.

Chloe!

[ Door closes,
car drives away ]

[ Sighs ]

Ahhh!

Mr. Zuckerman!

Mr. Zuckerman!

Oh...

Stet!

[ Calmly ] Yes, Mr. Fisher,
what seems to be the trouble?

[ Soft dining music plays ]

Hello.

Hello, Saul.

Come in.

You've been a bad boy.

[ Chuckles nervously ]

Welcome, genius.

They're all here.

It looks like
the Vatican.

Just some colleagues.
I'll introduce you.

Who's the one
with the glasses?

Maurice waxman.

Analyzed by Freud.
Never misses a meeting.

They all have that look.

That comes from listening
to everybody's nightmares

for 50 years.

May I present
Saul Benjamin?

The membership committee.

Gunnar bergsen.

Harriet singer.

Maurice waxman.

Dr. Benjamin: Hello.

I'm Lionel gross.

Hello.

Harriet, why don't you and I
and Dr. Benjamin

go somewhere
and have a little chat?

Let's start
with the hausman letter.

"Dear Mr. Hausman,

"after the bizarre events
of last night,

"I cannot,
in good conscience,

"continue as your analyst.

"Enclosed, please find
a check for $6,500,

representing all fees paid
since January 1st,"

et cetera, et cetera.

Signed,
"Saul Benjamin, m.D."

You sent this letter?

Well, yes.

Let me understand.

You gave money back
to a patient?

H-How did you get this?

He sent it to US.
He was worried about you.

There's no need for him
to be worried about me.

Maybe it's because
the last time he saw you,

you were drunk
and disorderly

in the emergency room.

But I returned the money
because I wasn't curing him.

If I'm a plumber,
I come to fix your sink

and it still leaks --

well, what about
the mondragon woman?

You just terminated her...
Like that?

What happened?

You couldn't fix
her sink, either?

Very good.
No, I couldn't.

There's nothing wrong
with Mrs. Mondragon's sink.

Let's not make this
difficult, Benjamin.

We're trying to determine
your competence.

[ Door opens ]

Dinner is served.

Thank god.

I'm starved.

These are perilous times,
gentlemen.

Perilous times.

No rules, no standards.

Everybody's got a cure.

Everyone's a therapist.

Every moron's
hanging out a shingle.

Bone massage...

Hostility training...

Gurus.

It's the g*dd*mn middle ages!

I say, pull the wagons
into a circle

and wait 'em out.

Right, Saul?

Oh, yes, absolutely.
Wagons in a circle.

Why don't you have
a little corn?

No, thanks.
I don't like corn.

What's the matter?

Are you afraid
of a little roughage?

Man: Hello, theatre?

This is Dr. Benjamin.

Miss Allen.
Is she there?

I'm sorry.
She still hasn't showed up.

Would you like me
to take a message?

No. Thanks very much.

[ Chatting ]

[ Silence ]

So, young fella,
you're back in control?

Yes.

What was it?
Too heavy a caseload?

I-I suppose.

The important thing is to
give up this foolishness

with the street people.

Foolishness?

Schizophrenics
don't get well, Saul.

There's no percentage
in treating them.

What about the girl?

The girl?

The patient.
The young one.

[ Chuckling ]
You think it's a secret?

Why don't you tell US
about it, sweetheart?

Did they have
sexual relations

on the couch?

Is this really relevant?

Let me tell you.

When a married analyst
shacks up with a patient,

it's relevant.

But he's not seeing her
anymore.

You've given her up,
haven't you, Saul?

You've got to think
of your colleagues.

What if she sues?

Or writes an article.

Could be
a nasty business.

You're an analyst,
sweetheart.

Try to act like one.

Go on, take some corn.

You're a bright fellow.

With a few sacrifices,
you could go far.

You might even get to be
one of US.

Think of it, Saul.

A member of the committee.

Oh, Saul.

Saul, you remember Ted,
the actor.

Sir Ted now.

Oh, we've had
a wonderful life.

We've lived everywhere.

Paris, Rome, the riviera.

We have
three beautiful children.

[ Moaning ]

It could have been US,
Saul.

But you chose to be
one of life's listeners

instead of one
of the singers.

Bye-bye, Saul.

We'll send you a card.

[ Ted singing
in Italian ]

No, no.

Geller: What's wrong,
Saul?

The one good thing
that happened to me

in my entire practice,
in my entire life,

and...you want me
to give her up.

Why do you want me
to do that?

What am I doing here,
anyway?

I mean,
i-i-i don't want this.

I'm sorry, Larry.
I better go.

Nonsense, Saul!

Sit down.
Let's discuss it.

Nobody wants to lose you.

No, i-i-i
really better go.

But before I go,
I'd like to leave you all

with something
to remember me by.

It's a trick.
It's a magic trick.

Now, he does magic?

Yes. I'm gonna make myself
vanish

from all of your lives.

Don't be a schmuck,
Saul.

Do you want to spend
the rest of your life

practicing
in north Dakota?

No, it's okay.

I pull the tablecloth out
from under the dishes --

Saul --

it's okay.
It's a great effect.

You ready?

1...2...

Oh, my god!

3!

[ Laughing loudly ]

I did it!

Ha! Ha! Ha!

[ Car drives away ]

[ Door closes ]

[ Ringing ]

Man: Hello?

It's Dr. Benjamin.
Has she come in?

I think they all left.
I'll check downstairs.

Okay, thanks.

That was some
magic trick.

I had to make sure.

What of?

That they would never, ever
let me back in.

Good. Be independent.

I was.
It builds character.

So, what will you do now?

I don't know,
I don't know.

For the first time
in my life,

I have this strange feeling
of...Well-being.

I think that's what it is.

I feel...Pretty good.

Then this is goodbye.

You're leaving?

Didn't I mention?

I'm terminating.
You're on your own.

Where are you going?

Mexico. Oaxaca...
The mountains.

They're doing
some interesting things --

psychotropic dr*gs,
mushrooms, group dreaming,

religion, psychology,
chemistry, all in one.

It's the future.

You?

Don't close your mind.

What happened
to psychoanalysis?

Lying down on the couch?

It was an interesting
experiment, that's all.

I never meant it
to become an industry.

Well...
Auf wiedersehen, saulie.

Don't forget me.

I had
a few good insights, no?

Oh, the best.

Uh, I should have telephoned
for a taxi.

I'll never get one
at this hour.

[ Door closes ]

Man on telephone: Hello?

What?

There's no one there.

They're probably
still in the area.

Would you like me
to check?

No. Thanks.

I knew it was you.

Chloe,
what are you doing?

Walking.

In the middle
of the night?

Where are you going?

To your office.

My office? Why?

I was thinking.

What about?

You...your patients.

Ah, my patients.

Mr. Zuckerman

and that man that
always commits su1c1de

and that man that
flies around the office.

Mr. Arnold
is an accountant.

He has a very deep need
to fly.

You worry about those people,
don't you?

Sometimes.

I called you
at the dinner.

They said
you'd left early.

That's right.

How did it go?

You look great
in your suit.

Did you impress
the doctors?

I th--
I think so, yes.

Then everything's okay?

Oh, everything's terrific.

Want to come home?

Yes. In a --
in a little bit.

Let's walk for a while.

Okay.
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