04x13 - The Spirit of Christmas

[bunniefuu]

♪ Gimme a break, now I know what it takes ♪



♪ Gimme a break, now I know what it takes ♪


♪ I'm putting a new face on the old one ♪


♪ Ready for anything


♪ Playing with fate, not a moment too late ♪


♪ I'm showing the whole world nothing can get me down ♪


♪ O-o-o-oh


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ gimme a break


♪ 'Cause I sure need one ♪ gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ I finally know where I belong ♪


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ gimme a break


♪ 'Cause I sure need one ♪ gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ I finally know where I belong ♪


♪ Gimme a break!


Wait. This is not gonna work.


This is all your fault, nell.


Don't you blame this on me. You built this house.


For an extra bucks, you could have got a bigger door.


Boy, this is gonna be a great christmas!


Grandpa, would you please go find me the saw?


[ Pager beeps ]


All right, chief, push.


Simpson beeped three times.


They need me at the station.


No, wait, chief.


Chief! [ Engine turns over ]


Don't leave me here with this tree in the door!


I'm gonna set fire to your santa claus suit.


Merry christmas.


Do you realize there's a tree stuck in your front door?


Yes, we planted it there last year.


What do you got in the bag, addy, presents?


Yeah.


Yay! Let's hear it for addy!


Well, since I knew I was going home to alabama for christmas,


I thought I'd bring all the family presents over.


Oh, addy, christmas is not going to be the same without you.


I know. I'm gonna miss you, too.


That's why you're coming over to my house saturday night


And we're gonna celebrate our own little christmas together.


Oh, that's a great idea!


Two best friends spending their holiday together.


Yeah.


Nell, here's your saw for the tree.


And if that doesn't work, we can rent a beaver.


Oh, grandpapa, it'll work.


All I have to do is trim a little branch here


And trim a little branch the--


Oops.


Great work, nell.


Well, look on the bright side.


We'll be the only family in town with two christmas trees.


♪ Boughs of holly


♪ Fa la la la la, la la la la


♪ 'Tis the season to be jolly


♪ Fa la la la la, la la la la


Hey! ♪ Don we now our gay apparel


♪ Fa la la


♪ La la la


♪ La la


[ Off key ] ♪ la


No.


[ Off key ] ♪ la


Oh, addy, what the fa la la are we doing?


What we're doing is sharing the christmas spirit.


And you know something? I got the spirit.


Mnh-mnh.


I got the spirit, and I got it big.


[ Gasps ] presents. Come on.


Okay, you got to open mine first.


Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine.


Open mine first!


Okay, okay! I'll open -- you know what?


This reminds me of when we were little girls in alabama.


Yeah.


Do you remember the first present I ever gave you?


Of course I remember.


It was a box of crayolas.


I remember because the magenta was missing.


Magenta was my favorite color.


Open your present. Come on.


I told you I was gonna open -- you're making me sick!


I said I'm gonna open the stupid thing.


Oh, this is beautiful.


Oh, such a pretty christmas scene.


It's a music box.


I bet I know what it plays.


"Silent night," right?


♪ I saw mommy kissing santa claus ♪


"I saw mommy kissing santa claus."


Oh, thank you.


I love it.


I knew you would.


You know, everybody else has "silent night."


You have a classic.


I love it.


I love it, addy, and I love you.


[ Doorbell rings ]


Doorbell.



Hi, I'm dennis hawkins, your new neighbor.


Hi, I'm addy wilson.


I was wondering if I could borrow something.


Anything.


Addy, look, if you're gonna spend all night at the door,


Count me in.


Dennis, this is my oldest friend, good old nell harper.


[ Chuckles ] yes, I'm on medicare.


Well, I came over to borrow some cooking oil.


I'm making french fries.


I just love french fries, especially crinkly ones --


The ones with the ridges on them.


That's how my wife made them.


Uh, excuse me, I'll get the oil for you.


His wife.


Addy, please, come on, be nice.


You want to wait in here?


No, I don't want to be a bother.


It's just that I'm a terrible cook.


Where's your wife?


She's with her lawyer. We're getting a divorce.


Divorce?


Merry christmas.


Well, thank you.


I live here in town,


And if you have nothing to do for the holidays,


I have two christmas trees.


Wow. Being divorced might not be so bad.


Divorced?


Won't you come in?


[ Doorbell rings ] now, here's the oil.


If you need anything else -- a pot, a pan, a stove --


Please don't hesitate to call me.


Mi casa es su casa.


Gracias, but aren't you gonna let nell into su casa?


Oh, nell.


My, silly me.


My head is into christmas, and when I heard the bells,


I thought it was santa claus.


Ho, ho, ho.


Hi, hi, hi.


I really should be going.


Oh, well, if you need anything else, please call me.


You know, that's what neighbors are for.


I might just take you up on that.


I haven't quite gotten adjusted to this yet.


I haven't been on my own since I lived in paris.


I was in paris once.


I saw "gigi" twice.


What were you doing in paris?


Trying to write poetry.


You know, when I got out of the army,


I had this crazy idea of being the black carl sandburg.


Instead my poems were more like the white nipsey russell.


I'd love to hear some of your poetry.


Oh, no.


Oh, yes, let's hear some of that dennis hawkins poetry.


Well, okay.


Love is more than a feeling.


It is an illusion,


Especially the love I feel for you.


For the passions of my love have facets of beauty and happiness


That dance and sparkle.


For you are my life, my love.


Oh.


That's so...french.


Well, back to my french fries. Arrivederci.


It was nice meeting you both.


Likewise.


Well, back to decorating the tree.


Yeah, you know, addy, I really love decorating the tree.


Oh, me too. I am enjoying this so much.


Hey, nell, how do you think this would look here?


Um...


A little to the left. No, no, go back to the right.


Move up. Move up.


Now, that's perfect.


You know, addy, this is so nice.


Oh, so nice.


Just the two of us together.


Just the two of us together.


Both let's invite him to dinner.


Well, I just meant in the spirit of christmas.


Oh, yeah, it'll be our little act of charity.


No, we can't.


I only brought over two steaks.


Look, I'll have to run home and pick up another one.


Oh, okay, great.


You get the steaks, and I will crinkle some french fries.


You know, addy,


This is what the christmas spirit is all about.


We're going to be sharing our evening with a total animal.


I don't think I've ever heard that one.


I can't tell you how much I appreciate you and nell


Sharing your christmas dinner with me.


Oh, that's okay.


In fact, nell should be back any minute with the steak.


I'm glad I met you, too.


It's so refreshing after all the phony women


I've been bumping into lately.



[ Doorbell rings ] oh, well, we're just two simple girls from alabama.


What you see is what you get.


Merry christmas, everybody.


I thought you went home to get a steak.


Steak? What steak?


So clumsy of me to spill my coffee on nell's dress. Well, it was just some freak thing."],…}


You know, I never saw a cup fly across the room like that.


Well, nell's used to it.


You know, when you have four children to take care of,


You get stuff spilled on you all the time.


Nell has four children?


Oh, yeah.


Cute little boy and three big girls.


Somehow I didn't think she was married.


Oh, she's not now.


She's living with a cop.


Well, I think it's dry now.


Fortunately, this is not one of my better dresses.


You know, this meal was some treat.


Well, dennis, I have a surprise for you.


The pièce de résistance --


A pièce of mince pie.


[ Laughs ]


Ain't she a darling?


You two are very lucky.


Good friends are hard to come by.


Oh, yes.


What a beautiful gold lighter.


If I were you, I would put my gold lighter away.


Why?


Well, I really shouldn't have brought it up,


But is your ring on tight?


Are you telling me that addy is a thief?


A kleptomaniac is not a thief.


[ Gasps ]


I, uh, shouldn't have let that out.


She's a kleptomaniac?


Addy the pilot light went out in the oven.


Dennis, may I borrow your lighter?


Oh, gee, addy, I just ran out of fluid.


Well, never mind.


I found some matches. Thank you.


Oh, dennis, this is so nice,


Isn't it, just the two of us?


[ Chuckles ]


It's so cozy...


So...right.


You're right.


It's very...right.


And to think, in three days, it'll be christmas.


Christmas.


Yeah.


It's the best holiday of the year.


The best.


I imagine you've made plans.


Just family -- nothing I can't break.


You know, they'll come down the stairs


To get their stockings


And gather 'round the christmas tree and --


Gather 'round the christmas tree.


[ Crying ]


Here it comes, everybody.


Hot mince pie.


Good grief, nell, what did you say to him?


It's not her fault.


I'm sorry.


I shouldn't be behaving this way.


I'm ruining everyone's evening.


Not like that dress is.


It's just that I have to realize it's over between her and i.


Oh...


You poor, poor baby.


Addy, that dress is gorgeous.


Thank you.


I picked it up at this new boutique.


It was a real steal.


A steal?


Look, why don't I liven things up and put some music on?


Oh, my stereo is broken.


Oh, we don't need your stereo.


I'll use my music box.


[ "I saw mommy kissing santa claus" plays ]


♪ I saw mommy kissing santa claus ♪


I haven't heard that song in years.


It's a real classic.


Good, let's dance.


May I cut in?


Excuse me.


Adelaide wilson, don't you dare cut in on me


When I am dancing to "I saw mama kissing santa claus."


Oh!


Are you all right?


Oh, she just probably broke the dress.


Thank you.


Nell, may I speak to you in the kitchen?


I need someone to help me whip the cream for my pie.


Dennis, would you please excuse --


Dennis, would you please excuse me?


[ Clears throat ]


Nellie ruth harper, you are making a fool of yourself --



A fool of yourself -- going out for a steak


And coming back looking like michael jackson.


Me? What about you and that dress?


Aah!


Here, I dare you to bend down and pick up that spoon.


This dress wasn't made to pick up spoons.


Oh, yeah, we know what that dress was made to pick up.


Look, we were supposed to spend christmas together,


Two old friends, and you let a stranger come between us.


Me? He didn't ring my bell.


That's why you went home and got that dress.


That's a low blow and a cheap sh*t.


The worst part about it is that it's true.


Oh, don't give me that, nell.


You ju--


You agreed with me.


Yeah, I did act a fool, but so did you.


Well, I guess we both got carried away


When an attractive man appeared.


Silly, isn't it?


I mean, two women dressed like us can get anybody.


Oh, nell, I'm sorry.


I want the evening to be what it was meant to be --


Friendship and love.


Addy, I'm so sorry.


I didn't even give you your christmas gift yet.


Well, I know I'll like my gift,


But our being together is the only gift I need.


Merry christmas, nell.


Merry christmas, addy.


We're back.


Um, you want to sing some christmas carols?


Well, yeah, that'd be great.


You're so nice to include me in.


You know, that cop you live with is one lucky guy.


Well, it's true.


It certainly is.


Merry christmas, dennis.


For you.


I hope you like it.


It's, well, uh...thank you, nell.


You know, when I came over here to borrow some cooking oil,


I never thought I'd end up with a beaded bag.


Well, wait until you see my gift.


I can't wait.


Nell your gift?


Here.


A pipe, for me?


Addy, where'd you get that pipe?


I picked it up for a friend who gave up smoking.


Picked it up?


Well, no, thank you, addy.


I'm trying to quit, too.


Oh, then I'll pick you something else up -- anything you want.


Oh, no, no, addy, what I mean is --


Listen, nell told me about your problem.


Stick with your therapy.


Kleptomania can be cured.


You told him I was a kleptomaniac?


Yeah, but I'm not gonna tell the cop that I live with.


I am so sorry I invited you here.


You're sorry?


I have been your best friend since we were years old,


And I didn't like you then, and I don't like you now.


You are a kleptomaniac. You stole my crayolas.


Oh!


Well, wait till you see what I'm stealing this christmas.


You know what, adelaide wilson?


I don't need your friendship.


I don't need your stupid christmas gift.


And, oh, most of all, I don't need --


No!


No! No!


Did I just throw our christmas tree over the balcony?


Yes.


That wasn't very christmasy of me, was it?


Nope, but I know you didn't mean it.


Dennis, we'd both like --


Dennis?


He's gone.


Wait.


"Thank you both for sharing your christmas spirit.


Because of you, I'm going to beg my wife to take me back."


He wrote "beg" in big letters.


"I think she will when she sees the beautiful beaded bag


I'm giving her."


Well, look at it this way --


In the spirit of christmas, we brought two people together.


Addy, they aren't the two people I had in mind.


Merry christmas.


Merry christmas, nell.


I'm gonna miss you this christmas.


I'm gonna miss you, too.


But I have your music box to remind me of you.


[ Doorbell rings ]


Dennis!


Surprise!


What's all this?


Merry christmas.


We couldn't let you go back to alabama without your gifts.



Oh, I may cry.


What a family.


We even brought you a tree.


Yeah.


When we were walking up,


Some jerk threw this sweet little christmas tree


Out the window.


This is a weird neighborhood.


I saw a guy walking down the street just now.


He was carrying a beaded bag.


Are we gonna sing christmas carols?


You bet we are. How about...


♪ You better watch out


♪ You better not cry


♪ Silent night


♪ You better not pout, I'm telling you why ♪ ♪ holy night


♪ He's making a list, checking it twice ♪


♪ Gonna find out...


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Gimme a break