05x18 - A Lesson For Nell

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Gimme a Break!" Aired: October 29, 1981 – May 12, 1987.*
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Nell Harper is the no-nonsense housekeeper and surrogate mother for police chief Carl Kanisky's children: Samantha, Julie and Katie.
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05x18 - A Lesson For Nell

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ Gimme a break, now I know what it takes ♪



♪ Gimme a break, now I know what it takes ♪


♪ I'm putting a new face on the old one ♪


♪ Ready for anything


♪ Playing with fate, not a moment too late ♪


♪ I'm showing the whole world nothing can get me down ♪


♪ O-o-o-oh


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ gimme a break


♪ 'Cause I sure need one ♪ gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ I finally know where I belong ♪


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ gimme a break


♪ 'Cause I sure need one ♪ gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ I finally know where I belong ♪


♪ Gimme a break!


I love you. Happy valentine's day. Yes, you're my valentine, too.


Okay, I won't let nell leave when she gets here,


And I won't let addy leave when she gets here, either.


Was that for me?


No, it was jonathan.


He's got a special holiday surprise for you.


Holiday? What holiday?


Nell, it's valentine's day.


Julie, you know how I feel about valentine's day.


It's just silly, sentimental, stupid, romantic doo-doo.


Stay off the phone because I'm expecting a call, okay?


Nell, the reason jonathan called is I told him


That you and addy don't have dates for valentine's day.


You told jonathan


That I don't have a date for valentine's day?


Yeah, so he's got a surprise for you.


Who else did you tell?


Well, I mentioned it to katie and sam --


You mentioned it to katie and sam? Who else?


Well, I may have mentioned it to --


Hey, my life's an open book, right, julie?


Why don't we just tell the whole city of glenlawn?


Nell harper ain't got a date for valentine's day!


There. You satisfied?


[ Telephone rings ]


Hey, you hear that? I told you I had a date.


One minute.


And you thought I didn't have a valentine's date.


Well, let me tell you something.


Marcus thompson told me


That he would call me to take me out to dinner


If they buried his uncle on time.


Hello. Happy valentine's day.


No, there ain't no julio here!


My stomach is growling.


I'm gonna get some milk for the baby.


Happy valentine's day, nell.


Say, I hear you don't have a date.


Sorry about that.


So, julie told you, too?


No. My window was open,


And I heard somebody shouting it outside.


Nell, uh, I won't be home for dinner tonight.


But, grandpapa,


You haven't been home for dinner for the past three nights.


And you're wearing your tie with the hearts on it.


This must be an awfully special valentine.


Well, I believe that alexander pope


Put it best when he said,


"Wise wretch! With pleasures too refined to please,


"With too much spirit to be e'er at ease,


"With too much quickness ever to be taught,


With too much thinking to have common thought."


Hmm. Sounds nice.


But what does it mean?


I've been so wrong for so long,


But I'm so right tonight!


Oh, grandpa, you look gorgeous tonight.


Generally speaking, addy, I look gorgeous every night.


Whoo, looks like grandpa has a new dolly.


Isn't that what he calls them?


Yeah, but at least he has a date.


You know, I think it's wonderful


That older people are still interested in romance.


Yeah, it gives you something to look forward to, doesn't it?


You know, it's comforting to know


That somewhere there are men sitting at home tonight


Who, years from now,


Will call and ask us out for valentine's day.


I wish one of those suckers would call us tonight, girl.


Joey, I am telling you, it's ridiculous.


It is not.


Nell, will you smell joey?


Oh, please. I can smell him from here.


It's grandpa's aftershave. He let me borrow some.


Even the guys on the football team


Don't wear that much aftershave.


Do you go out with guys on the football team?


It's no big deal, aunt nell.


I wear it so kimberly hunt will think I shave.


She's in the sixth grade.


Honey, you're too young to shave.


Joey, little boys in the fourth grade


Should not be interested in little girls in the sixth grade.


Don't worry about kimberly. She's short for her age.



[ Doorbell rings ]


I'll get it.


Can we talk later?


Simpson!


Hiya, everybody. Happy valentine's.


I'm sorry, nell. I heard you don't have no date.


Grandpapa told you, hmm?


No, I was just leaving my apartment.


I heard somebody yelling it down the street.


Thanks for the books, nell.


You're welcome.


I didn't quite finish "w*r and peace,"


But I managed to plow through "hollywood wives."


So, do you have a hot date for valentine's day, simpson?


No.


You remember that girl I was dating -- sally parsons?


Yeah.


Well, we are "ftt!"


I'm sorry.


Our romance is over.


I guess it was just too hot not to cool down.


Besides, I heard she dumped six other guys


In the last three months.


Wait a minute, simpson.


I think you are better off without her.


Thanks, nell.


As my grandma used to say, bless her heart,


"Life is just one cruel hoax after another."


Happy valentine's day, everybody.


Joey pizza!


For me?


You and joey.


It's one of luigi's specials.


It's a heart-shaped pizza


With "be my valentine" spelled out in pepperonis.


Wow. Let's eat it while it's hot.


Yeah, I'm starved. Thanks, jonathan.


Come on, honey. Let's tell them the surprise.


The surprise is that julie and I


Are gonna take you two ladies out to dinner tonight


At skipper dwayne's house of halibut.


Aw, that's nice, jonathan,


But we can't let you do that.


Nell, you and addy made it possible


For me to go on that dig in mexico,


And we just want to take you out to thank you.


But, honey, you can't afford it.


Nell, we're giving up movies for a month so we can do this.


You've done so much for the both of us.


Nell, you've been like a mother to me.


And, addy, you've been like a sister.


I didn't mean that. I meant you both seem --


We know what you meant.


I know what you mean,


And thank you very much, sweetheart.


We would love to go to dinner with you, okay?


But next time you want your shirts done,


You call sister addy,


And she'll be glad to do them for you.


I'll call and make a reservation.


Julie good idea. They'll be crowded.


All right? Addy fine.


Can I have the number


Of skipper dwayne's house of halibut, please?


Julie, can you get me a pencil?


We don't need a reservation.


Why don't we go early and b*at the crowd?


What?


...


Well, what's everyone going to have?


It all looks so good. I don't know what to order.


Excuse me.


I'm not really hungry,


So I'll just have a small dinner salad.


Me too.


Now, wait a minute, you two.


I don't want you skimping just because I'm paying.


If you have any respect for me,


You'll order anything you want.


Well, if you put it that way...


I'll have -- oh, yeah. Steak and lobster.


And I'll have the swordfish with caviar sauce.


What are you gonna have, jonathan?


The small dinner salad.


Where's that waiter?


Isn't that sally parsons over there?


Isn't she the girl who went "ftt" with simpson?


No wonder.


She's awfully young for simpson.


She's .


Oh, wally, how would you know?


A good maître d' knows everything


About his customers --


Favorite table, favorite wine, their age.


You're .


I see you're not quite ready to order yet.


I'll be back in a few moments.


It's too bad sally's eating all alone


On valentine's day.


She's not alone anymore.



I think her valentine just arrived.


That's grandpa.


So that's his new dolly.


Hide. Hide.


What is grandpa doing with sally parsons?


Looks like they're on a date.


That's impossible.


She's almost years younger than him.


Why are we hiding?


Because if grandpa saw us,


He'd be embarrassed to death.


Can someone peek and just tell me what they're doing?


She's picking at his salad, and -- uh-oh.


What? What?


They seem to be having a good time.


We got to get out of here before he sees us.


Why?


Because I don't want him to think


That we're spying on him.


Now, let's just leave very quietly,


And don't look his way.


He won't even know we were here.


Put the menu down.


Hi, jonathan.


Hi, nell.


I still don't believe it. Grandpapa's seeing a younger woman.


What woman? She's a child. She's a baby.


I thought you said she was your age.


That's what I said -- she's a child. She's a baby.


May I say something?


No.


You people don't understand what's going on here.


Grandpapa's gonna make a fool of himself over this woman.


It's up to us to protect him.


Nell, I think you're making a big deal out of nothing.


Addy, you know how much I value your opinion, right?


If you can't be on my side, get out.


Nell, leave grandpa alone.


That's easy for you to say. He's not your grandpa.


I care about this man.


I'm not gonna stand by


And watch her take advantage of him.


And when grandpa gets home, I don't want anybody


To act like you're upset or you're worried.


Leave it to me, and I will handle it diplomatically.


Oh, yes. You're famous for your shuttle diplomacy.


Oh, grandpapa! Look, everybody.


Grandpapa's home.


Well, well, well, well.


Jonathan, did you enjoy the chocolate mousse?


It was a little rich.


Family, family, family, I have a wonderful idea.


Why don't you all get out?


Well, since you put that so diplomatically,


Why don't we all just shuttle off to the kitchen?


I'll make everybody grilled cheese.


You got any mozzarella?


Nell, give me one guess. You want to talk.


Look, yes.


Hi, aunt nell. Go back upstairs, joey.


But, aunt nell... Get back upstairs!


I want to talk to your grandfather!


Grandpa, look, I really don't know how to put this.


Well, why don't you just say


That I'm going with a woman who's too young for me?


Well, that is one way of putting it.


Well, this is my way of putting it.


Good night, nell.


Grandpapa, I'm not through talking to you.


I have not lived to be


To be told who I can and can't take to dinner.


Grandpapa, don't you realize


That when sally parsons is years old,


You will be ?


That doesn't bother me.


If she doesn't age gracefully, I'll find a younger one.


Grandpapa, please. Your family loves you.


They're worried about you. They want to help you.


Nell, many years ago, there was a series of movies


About a young teenager named andy hardy.


Andy was played by mickey rooney,


And his father, judge hardy, was played by lewis stone.


Now, when andy had girl problems,


His father, the judge, would give him man-to-man advice.


Back in when I saw those movies,


I never dreamed that someday you'd be lewis stone


And I'd be mickey rooney.


Well?


Well?!


Well, what?


That bad, huh? [ Doorbell rings ]


There's no talking to grandpa.


It's like arguing with a teenager.


He thinks he's andy hardy.


Why not? They're about the same age now.


Hiya, nell.


Nell, this is a thank-you for all them books you leant me.


Oh! You're welcome.


It's a novel, and the main character's


This rough, tough, hard-nosed cop.



Some of the guys down at the station


Think he's modeled after me.


[ Chuckling ]


You better tell him, nell.


Uh, simpson, look,


There really is no easy way to put this,


But you are a rough, tough, hard-nosed cop,


And I know you can take this.


[ Deep voice ] okay. Out with it, nell.


Sally parsons is seeing a new guy, and it's grandpa.


[ Normal voice ] grandpa?


[ Sobs ]


Give me back my book.


Simpson, I'm so sorry.


Sally parsons would rather be with grandpa than with me?


Simpson, I'm sure it's not serious.


You know, I always thought


That maybe she was looking for a sugar daddy.


What?


Grandpapa doesn't have any money.


He's got social security.


He gets a discount to the movies.


He could ride the buses for half fare.


He gets % off on prescriptions.


On my salary,


There's no way I could compete with a senior citizen.


Hi, grandpa.


I thought a glass of milk might make you feel better.


Well, joey, thank you. That's very good of you.


Thank you so much. Hey, sit down, huh?


Aunt nell's mad at you, huh?


Yep.


Grandpa, why do you think aunt nell


Won't let me wear your aftershave anymore?


Well, I don't know, joey.


Probably because,


Well, in a few years, you'll really be shaving.


That scares her.


Why? I'll be real careful.


It's a little hard to explain.


It has to do with growing up and letting go.


Oh.


Why is aunt nell mad at you?


Well, I guess 'cause she thinks


I'm going with someone too young for me.


She's mad at me


'Cause I like a girl who's too old for me.


Nobody understands, joey.


You see, sally and I are just friends.


We enjoy each other's company.


That's the way it is with me and kimberly.


It's perfectly innocent.


Same with me and kimberly.


I can't understand why families feel that,


Well, when you get older,


They have a right to run your life for you.


I know. It's the same thing when you're younger.


Grandpa, will there ever be a time


When I'll get to run my own life?


Well, I'll tell you, joey,


There is a space between the time you leave your family


And the time you get married,


And in that space,


You are absolutely in control of your own life.


It lasts about an hour and a half.


Grandpa, anytime you want to talk, I'm here.


Ah, thank you, joey.


Oh, joey, you'll be worrying


About five-o'clock shadow before you know it.


No, you won't! Yes, I will!


No, you won't! I said I will!


You will not!


You are only gonna make matters worse,


And grandpa will be furious if you butt in.


Well, maybe for once you're right --


Just once in your life --


Just once, and I do mean just once.


I mean, inviting sally parsons to lunch


Could possibly be the worst thing I could do.


More lemon, sally?


Thank you.


It was very nice of you to invite me to lunch.


Well, I thought so.


We both have so much in common, you know?


We do? Mm-hmm.


Not only do we both care a great deal for grandpa,


But we're both the same age


And we both like lemon in our ice tea.


That's true.


Would you pass me the sugar?


And did you know that grandpa


Doesn't have a dime in the world?


Are you implying


That I'm interested in stanley for his money?


Well, if you aren't, why else are you going out with him?


I really don't think that's any of your business.


It's definitely my business.


This man is my family.


I'm raising his grandchildren.


Pretty soon, I will be raising his great-grandchildren,



And I'm not gonna stand by


And watch you make a fool of him.


And another thing -- I hate lemon in my ice tea.


I just said that to be diplomatic.


Let me tell you something.


Wait, honey. Wait. Wait.


I invited you to lunch, remember?


So?


The one who does the inviting does the pointing.


Well, you listen --


You're still pointing.


Sit down, 'cause you're gonna hear me out.


I am not.


How would you like it


If I was dating your grandfather?


It wouldn't bother me one bit.


It wouldn't bother you?


No.


You wouldn't care what people thought?


No.


It wouldn't embarrass you?


No.


Well, it embarrasses me.


I didn't mean that.


Yes, you did.


It embarrasses you.


[ Exhales deeply, clears throat ]


You're not worried about stanley.


All you're worried about is yourself.


You're afraid people are going to laugh at you.


I am not going to tell stanley we've had this conversation


Because I wouldn't want him to know


That you would stoop so low as to go behind his back


And interfere in his private life.


I pointed. I'll pick up the check.


Would you like to order a little crow?


[ Telephone rings ]


Don't bother, kids. I'll get it.


Look, jonathan,


I'm gonna give you $, and my railroads


For your park place.


I don't know, joey.


I'm not very good at real estate.


Sell. Joey ends up with all the money, anyway.


It's my last offer, jonathan.


I'm thoroughly disgusted with you people.


What? What?


I've been driving around, and I've been thinking,


And I've been thinking and thinking.


Must have been a long drive.


Just what kind of family are you?


I'd say we're a pretty nice family.


I say you're rotten --


Rotten, rotten, rotten, rotten to the core.


You don't care about grandpa. You just care about yourself.


You're worried that people are gonna laugh behind your back.


You're scared that you're gonna be embarrassed.


Well, I'm not gonna let grandpapa know


That we had this little conversation...


'Cause I don't want him to know


That his family would stoop so low


As to interfere in his private life.


Hi, grandpa.


I was driving,


And I stopped at myerson's men's store,


And I picked you up some of your favorite aftershave.


Oh, nell, thank you. Thank you very much.


Oh, by the way,


Skipper dwayne's house of halibut just phoned.


Skipper dwayne's house of what?


Halibut.


Is that a restaurant?


They want to know if an earring left at your table


Belongs to you or to a miss sally parsons.


I have not been to skipper dwayne's in over a year.


I haven't had lunch at skipper dwayne's in over a year.


I haven't even had lunch in over a year.


Here.


All right!


Grandpa, I'm -- I'm sorry.


I...i admit I was wrong.


[ Sighs ]


Your private life is your own to lead, okay?


I'm sorry.


Aunt nell!


Your private life is not your own!


I want you to stay away from older women, okay?


Now get your butt in that kitchen!


Now, you -- these guys that play on this football team --


Do they play offense or defense?


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Gimme a break
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