05x24 - The Purse Snatcher

[bunniefuu]

♪ Gimme a break, now I know what it takes ♪



♪ Gimme a break, now I know what it takes ♪


♪ I'm putting a new face on the old one ♪


♪ Ready for anything


♪ Playing with fate, not a moment too late ♪


♪ I'm showing the whole world nothing can get me down ♪


♪ O-o-o-oh


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ gimme a break


♪ 'Cause I sure need one ♪ gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ I finally know where I belong ♪


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ gimme a break


♪ 'Cause I sure need one ♪ gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ I finally know where I belong ♪


♪ Gimme a break!


Restaurant, restaurant, restaurant. Expensive, expensive, expensive.


Why are you always looking for expensive restaurants


When I'm buying?


Because that's what friends are for.


Why don't you guys try that great new restaurant


Near the drive-in movie?


Oh, you mean two guys from greece?


I ain't going to no restaurant


Where two men are dancing together.


No, nell, it's not a greek restaurant anymore.


It's called "the last word."


Yeah, they have great pocket sandwiches --


Pita bread with meats and cheeses and vegetables.


Believe me, nell, it's the hottest ticket in town.


It's really in, and it gets a hip, young crowd.


Maybe you should go to skipper dwayne's.


You know, katie, if I wasn't so hungry,


I would take the time out to k*ll you.


Come on, honey.


You might need an older crowd,


But this sounds like it's right down my alley.


Thanks a lot. Come back soon.


Nicky, nicky, we have a problem here.


Are you the manager?


I am not the manager, madam. I am your sl*ve.


Nicky pappalardo.


I found this tooth in my salad.


You're kidding. A tooth?


Did you hear that, tyler?


Well, are you going to do something about it?


Of course.


Sherry, could you come over here?


I'll take care of this right away, madam.


No. No, it's not hers.


Tyler.


No. No, it's definitely not his, madam.


Nice bite, though, tyler.


Sherry, I want you to take this tooth in the kitchen


And have everyone in there smile.


If one tooth is missing, report it to me.


If no one claims that tooth in days, madam, it's yours.


Or your check is on me.


You're cute.


What's the use of being a greek if I can't be cute?


Oh, cutie pie. Yeah?


We've got another problem -- your father's here.


So what? Stop worrying about my father, will you?


He always makes you so nervous.


Hey, pop.


Hello, boys. [ Speaks greek ]


Mr. Pappalardo.


I see business still not bad.


Actually, mr. P., That's an understatement.


It's very satisfying.


Tyler, when I told my son


That someday I give him this restaurant,


If he could make it work,


The deal would be % for him, % for you.


When I talk to both of you, I would appreciate it


If you would hold your end of the conversation


Down to %.


Now I like to hear from mr. %.


What tyler means, pop,


Is that we're trying to break new grounds.


Actually, mr. P.,


The heart and soul of any good restaurant is its food.


Food?! You call what you sell food?!


Excuse me, gloria.


What is that you are serving?


It's a number , mr. P.


Would you please be kind enough to identify it?


It's a pita-bread sandwich.


Oh, it's pita bread. What's that?


Watercress.


Watercress?


Haven't you ever seen watercress before?


On a lawn, yes. In a sandwich, no.


I'll leave by the back door.


I don't want anybody to think I ate here.


[ Muttering in greek ]


Funny.


Pita bread really drives your father up the wall.


I don't know why. I love pita bread.


I mean, pita bread is my life.


Stop clowning around.



I'm not clowning around. It's got a million uses.


First of all, you can eat it.


Secondly, you could wear it as a hat and be the pope.


Or you can convert and wear it as a yarmulke.


Or you could use two of them as potholders


Or join the mickey mouse club.


Or you could be clark gable.


Or you could just wear one, like michael jackson does.


Best of all, tyler,


Is that one could use it to challenge a man to a duel.


[ British accent ] tyler, I want you to bring your seconds


To kensington gardens tomorrow


For pistols at paces and brunch.


Ha ha ha ha ha!


Now can we go back to work?


Swine!


[ Indistinct conversation ]


[ Normal voice ] may I help you ladies?


Oh, uh, yes, we'd like a table.


No reservation -- it's a spur-of-the-moment thing.


Yeah, we heard that this was the place for the young crowds,


And that's why we're here -- we're young.


[ Pager beeps ]


Oh. There goes my beeper.


Always goes off when it hears a lie.


Stop!


I'll just make my call,


And then I'll meet you at the table.


The phone's right over there.


And just follow me, please.


Okay.


This place is beautiful!


It's so -- ooh, it's so "in."


Thank you.


Your waitress is gloria, I'm nicky,


And the special of the day is a b.l.t. S.o.s. C.i.a.


Oh, that's bacon, lettuce, tomato,


Oregano, sunflower seed, chives,


Indian corn, and asparagus.


Oh, I had that for breakfast.


That's a joke.


That's a joke.


I love it!


Nell, I'm sorry. That was dean stanley.


I have to get back for a meeting.


Oh, no, addy, please.


You know I hate eating in restaurants alone.


Come on, honey, stay.


I'm sure somebody will put a nickel in the jukebox,


And you and the other kids can bop.


[ Chuckles ]


Oh, addy, why don't you take your beeper and beep off?


Uh, I'm awfully sorry your friend had to leave.


Aw, that's okay.


She was much too old for this place anyway.


Uh, did you enjoy your lunch?


Yes, fine, thank you.


Great.


Tyler, look at those two people eating alone.


They should be sitting together.


I mean, he's a distinguished-looking man,


And she's so young.


She told me that twice.


Nicky, don't bother them.


That's your problem, tyler -- you're not a greek.


With me, romance is in my blood.


Eros, the god of love, he was greek.


Aphrodite, the goddess of love, she was greek.


[ As kojak ] "who loves ya, baby?"


[ Normal voice ] that's greek.


Uh, excuse me, young lady.


Oh, yes.


Would you be kind enough to share a table


With that distinguished gentleman over there?


Well, actually, I'm not --


Ooh.


He's a perfect gentleman,


And I could really use his table for a party of four.


Oh, well, maybe just this once.


Uh, excuse me, sir.


Would you be kind enough to finish your coffee


With that charming lady over at that table?


Well, I'm not in --


I could really use this table, sir,


And she really is quite delightful,


Even though she is a little shy.


I'd be delighted.


Great.


This gentleman would be delighted to share a table.


Hi.


I'm nell harper.


Steven marken. "Steve" will do fine.


Enjoy your lunch.


I'm afraid I only have time to finish my coffee.


It's a nice restaurant, isn't it?


Oh, yes. I come here all the time with my young crowd.


I might start coming here myself.


-.


What did I tell you? They're made for each other.


And we'll have the wedding at the salad bar.



I hate to tell you, but the groom is leaving.


He left?


Oh, yes.


He was running a little late, but...


[ Giggles ]


...he's meeting me here for lunch tomorrow.


I knew it! From now on, this is your table.


Oh, thank you.


Could you tell me where the powder room is?


Oh, it's over there.


Uh, could you tell me where my purse is?


What?


M-my purse.


My purse is gone.


Your purse? My purse was right here.


Your friend stole my purse!


I still can't believe that man snatched her purse.


I mean, he looked like such a decent, sincere guy.


Of course, he does wear a mustache.


Nicky, you can't go through life


Judging character based on a mustache.


It worked with h*tler.


Tyler. Tyler, look. It's him.


What are you doing?


Calling the police.


Forget the police.


The man is a crook.


That's why they put on telephones.


Tyler, if the man stole a purse in this restaurant,


Would he come back for dinner?


Yes. Now he can afford it.


Believe me, I know people, and he's not a crook.


I know you, and you're wrong.


Sherry, can I borrow your purse?


Why? Oh, it's just for a minute.


[ Cash register dings ]


What are you doing, nicky?


Nicky, if you're going to do


What I think you're going to do,


You know what I'm going to do?


What?


I don't know what I'm going to do.


But I'm gonna do it.


Believe me, this will prove the man is honest.


Put the money back in the regis--


Would you just put the -- put the money --


I'm getting a migraine.


Tyler, you have no faith in your fellow man.


Now, just watch and learn.


Good evening, sir. Nice to see you again.


I just couldn't stay away.


We have a slightly different menu for dinner --


Just a tad more adventurous.


I love adventure at dinner.


Oh, uh, raphael!


Some water, please, and don't spare the ice!


Thank you.


You shouldn't have done that.


Why? We got plenty of ice.


All the money we took in today is in that purse.


You couldn't give a man more temptation than that.


Now, when he finishes his dinner, tyler -- nicky.


When he finishes his dinner, the purse will still be there,


And you, my friend, will be wrong,


And I will be right.


He's gone!


What?


Check the men's room.


He's not in the men's room.


Check the ladies' room.


Well, he's carrying a purse.


Nicky, he's gone, and so is the money.


Or an ice pack!


Now, let me get this straight, nikos. You took all the money out of the cash register,


Put it in a purse,


Then slipped it on the table


With the man who snatched the first purse


To see if he would snatch the second purse?


And you watched?


Tyler, you're fired.


What?


Hey, stop clowning around, pop.


I'm not clowning around. He's fired.


I hired him to look after you.


And he failed miserably.


You just can't throw a man like tyler


Out on the street like that.


You're right, nikos.


I'm too nice a guy to throw him out in the street.


I'll go home.


You throw him out in the street.


Tyler, look --


You know, nicky, I had this crazy idea


That for the first time in my life,


I'd finally found something I was good at.


Now I'm not even gonna be a part of it.


Tyler, you have every right to be mad at me.


I am mad at you!


Ever since I met you,


My life has been declared a disaster area.



The first day we met,


You talked me into getting rid of my apartment.


That's just because I wanted you to have a place


With some charm and a nice little garden.


That nice little garden got me arrested.


Did I know the landlord was growing pot?


We should have suspected when he never asked me for the rent.


That's just because I wanted you


To have a place with some old-world charm.


I hated seeing you living in that concrete blockhouse.


Nicky, look at me. I am concrete.


I am also air-conditioning and garbage disposals


And elevators and venetian blinds.


And you know something else?


What?


I hate pita bread.


[ Tapping on glass ]


Get the door, nicky. I don't work here anymore.


Oh, hello, miss harper.


Hi. Come on in.


You remember tyler.


No.


You've come about your purse.


Uh, yeah, I did come about my purse.


You see, when I got home, I called the credit-card people


To have all my credit-card numbers changed,


And then I had the locks changed on the door,


Then I had the phone number changed,


And then I was getting the lock changed on the car door.


I happened to look in the backseat, and...


[ Laughs ] ...there was my purse.


Then you never brought the purse into the restaurant.


No. And you weren't robbed.


Only by the locksmith.


What's the matter?


Well, nicky didn't think


The guy could have stolen your purse either.


So to prove it to me,


He took all the money out of the cash register,


Put it in a purse, slipped it on the table,


And the guy took off with it.


And you watched?


And the worst part is


That my father blamed tyler and fired him.


But it's not his fault.


I know. It's my fault.


No, it's not your fault. It's my fault.


None of this would have happened


If I hadn't said that man stole my purse.


Now I feel so guilty.


I cannot believe that, because of my carelessness,


I've cost this young man his job.


I mean, I'm just the lowest of human beings.


I'm gonna have to live with this guilt the rest of my life.


Can I please have a menu?!


A menu?


When I get guilty, I get hungry.


I'll get you one.


Nicky, right?


All right, nicky, give me your father's phone number.


I'll call him.


That's very kind of you, miss harper,


But people are always bailing me out, and I'm sick of it.


It's time I stood on my own two legs,


Walked up to my father like a man,


Looked him right in the eye, and said, "pop..."


It's -.


Yes, nell.


Mm-hmm.


Okay.


Yeah. Yeah, I got you. I'll tell him.


Uh, mr. Pappalardo, nell says she's going to be late.


She had a flat tire,


And she's waiting for the tow truck to come and change it.


That's all right. I only own three restaurants.


My time means nothing for me.


I'll just sit here


While my employees are robbing me blind.


[ Doorbell rings ]


I'll get it.


Excuse me. I'm nicky pappalardo.


Is my father here? Sure, come on in.


What are you two doing here?


Pop, I don't need miss harper


To do something that I should be man enough to do myself.


I'm gonna walk right up to you, look you right in the eye,


And say, "pop, sit down and listen."


I already sitting down.


Pop, you can't fire tyler.


I don't have to fire him. He doesn't work for me.


Pop, it's k*lling him.


Do you want to have this man's death on your conscience?


I have to think about it.


Really, mr. P., This was not my idea.


Shut up. You're dying.


And you know why he's gonna die, pop?


Because you want to break up a great team.


Tyler was born to be in the restaurant business,


Just like mikhail baryshnikov was born to dance,


Just like al pacino was born to be an actor.



[ As al pacino ] and, your honor,


If this man is fired,


Then something really wrong is going on here.


I'm out of order? You're out of order!


She's out of order! He's out of order!


The whole restaurant business is out of order!


[ Normal voice ] you see? They understand, pop.


We're a team.


We're like sears and roebuck,


Batman and robin, sonny and cher.


♪ Babe, I got you, babe ♪


Come on, sing it. ♪ I got you, babe


Get on your knees and be sonny.


Both ♪ I got you, babe


Forget it. You're tone-deaf.


Don't you know that tragedy has followed the breakup


Of every great team?


Look at martin and lewis.


Do you want him to be like jerry lewis?


[ As jerry lewis ] oh, the lady with the hoydem flaven!


Flaven the hoydem!


[ Normal voice ] pop!


The worst part, pop,


The real tragedy is that tyler's heart will break.


And that's because you, pop, you have broken his spirit!


You've k*lled his joie de vivre, k*lled his will to live,


And no doctor can save him now!


Nurse, quick! Headphones!


Beep. Beep. Beep.


Beep.


Beep.


Beep.


Beep.


[ Imitates flatline ]


m*rder*r!


Beautiful.


Just beautiful.


Nikos, I'm touched.


You know, with greeks,


Friendship between men is very important.


That's why we dance together.


Then you're taking tyler back?


Not in a million years.


Nicky, can I talk to you for a minute?


Sure.


You happy, pop, huh?


Are you happy now? Look at that. That's a walking corpse.


I'm sorry, tyler.


That's okay.


No, I really thought I had him with sears and roebuck.


He buys all of his batteries there.


Nicky, mr. P. Is not going to change his mind.


But what I'm always going to remember


For the rest of my life


Is that you stood up to your father


And made a complete idiot of yourself just for me.


Hey, thanks.


That's the greatest thing you've ever said to me, tyler.


Are you sure you're not greek?


Hey, I'm not greek, and I'm not dancing with you.


Come on.


Pop? What?


I love you, but I quit.


Nikos, I love you, and you are not quitting.


Pop, I'm not coming back to the restaurant without tyler.


Don't be hasty, nicky.


Nikos, you are my son.


Beside, where would you go?


Right across the street from your place, pop.


We could buy that old mexican restaurant --


Two guys from chihuahua.


Nikos, nikos, get a grip.


That place is a loser.


Not if we turn it into another "last word," right, tyler?


I suppose we could get a deal on those fixtures.


And the pita guy loves me.


Hold it! Hold it. Hold it.


[ Exhales sharply ]


You both still working for me.


Uh, but, mr. P., You fired me.


What's the matter? Can't you take a joke?


Nicky, where's your father?


Mr. Pappalardo?


Mr. Pappalardo, let me get right to the point.


You don't deserve a boy like tyler.


I mean, you fired him for no reason.


I just ran into officer simpson,


And that distinguished gentleman


That I am having lunch with tomorrow


Found that purse that you thought he stole


Wrapped up in his newspaper.


Oh, miss harper, it's okay.


No, it is not okay.


I don't blame tyler for hating your guts.


He hates my guts?


I never said that, mr. P.


My father changed his mind and re-hired tyler.


Oh, I'm so glad I could help, honey.


He hates my guts.


We'll see you in the morning, pop.



Thanks, miss harper.


He hates my guts?!


What's the matter? Can't you take a joke?


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Gimme a break