06x02 - Sam Goes to College pt. 2

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Gimme a Break!" Aired: October 29, 1981 – May 12, 1987.*
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Nell Harper is the no-nonsense housekeeper and surrogate mother for police chief Carl Kanisky's children: Samantha, Julie and Katie.
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06x02 - Sam Goes to College pt. 2

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ Gimme a break, now I know what it takes ♪



♪ Gimme a break, now I know what it takes ♪


♪ I'm putting a new face on the old one ♪


♪ Ready for anything


♪ Playing with fate, not a moment too late ♪


♪ I'm showing the whole world nothing can get me down ♪


♪ O-o-o-oh


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ gimme a break


♪ 'Cause I sure need one ♪ gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ I finally know where I belong ♪


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ gimme a break


♪ 'Cause I sure need one ♪ gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ I finally know where I belong ♪


♪ Gimme a break!


Addy? Oh, hi, nell.


I suppose you're calling me


About samantha's scholarship.


No, addy, I'm calling to find out


If they have any new delicatessens in new york.


Of course I'm calling about samantha!


Well, I haven't heard anything yet,


But I'm waiting for a call from the dean of admissions.


Again with the guy from the bar --


Addy, look, I have a crisis here.


Look, you've got to get samantha


Into that college.


Otherwise she's moving to san francisco


And she's not going to college at all.


Did she really say that? Yeah!


If she doesn't go to college, she can't become a lawyer.


You never told me she wanted to be a lawyer.


Oh, sure, take samantha's side!


Nell, I'm doing the best I can.


Well, it's not good enough, addy!


It has never been good enough!


Now, I want you to go to the dean.


I want you to plead with him.


Now, if that doesn't work,


I want you to borrow somebody else's body


And go to bed with him.


I'm hanging up, nell.


No, addy, I didn't mean that.


Use your own body.


Nell!


Addy, please!


If I don't get her into this school,


I'm gonna lose my mind!


Nell, the first thing you've got to do is calm down.


Now, close your eyes,


And then do some deep breathing.


I want you to forget your troubles


And just wipe your mind clean.


You know what, addy?


It's at times like this that I really hate


That you're , miles away...


'Cause I can't get my hands around your throat!


Well, nell, I've packed enough for now,


And I'll pick up the rest of my clothes later.


Samantha, you're making a decision


That you're going to regret.


But not as much as katie is!


Aah! What did I do?


You're taking my baby to san francisco


And you're keeping her out the american bar association!


Nell, I'm not letting her go in any bars in san francisco.


Breathe deep.


[ Inhales, exhales sharply ]


Okay, careful. Careful.


Wait, where's my baby?


She's asleep in her bassinet on your bed.


I never understood why you needed a -pound bed


For an -pound baby.


Pounds, ounces.


Pounds, ounces. She's gained three ounces.


If you'd pick her up, you'd know that.


All right, samantha,


So you didn't get the scholarship.


There's no reason you can't go to glenlawn community college


Until you do.


I mean, they turn out some brilliant students.


Nell, I was a straight-a student in high school.


Going to college would be a waste of time.


There's nothing else I can learn.


Why don't you take a year off and teach?


Nell, I'm only going to san francisco.


It's not like I'm going to the north pole.


Ha, if there was some good-looking young eskimo there,


You'd be on the first dogsled.


That's why you don't want me to go to san francisco.


Oh, nell, this is so obvious.


You're back to the same old thing.


You're worried about us with boys.


Wait a minute. I'm not making this up.


All you three girls ever think about


Is boys, boys, boys.


That's not fair, nell.


Sam's right.


I didn't kiss a boy until I was .


Katie, you're not helping.



You know, I would like to remind you


Of just a few of the problems I've had with you and boys,


Starting with you, katie.


Me? What did I do?


The time you brought that old man home.


How old are you?


.


Julie, katie's boyfriend is !


I love this.


Shut up, sweet face.


I forgot my purse. I'll be right back.


Honey, you forgot a lot of things, didn't you?


[ Laughs ]


Michael, why are you robbing the cradle?


Look, I didn't mean for this to happen.


I'm an associate professor at glenlawn junior college.


I just happened to handle


Katie's enrollment application at school,


And we kind of got involved.


Michael, why are you robbing the cradle?


After all, nell, katie is .


I mean, she's mature


And sure of herself emotionally.


Anyway, most women date older men.


Michael, why are you robbing the cradle?


Frankly, I think I'm in love with her.


I know I love her,


And I don't want to see her get hurt.


Are you ready to go?


Yeah.


Well, nell, now you know why I couldn't tell dad.


[ Laughs ]


Michael, would you wait outside just a few minutes?


I want to talk to katie. Girl talk.


[ Laughs ]


Of course.


I'll wait out in the car.


Whoa, girl,


That's quite a hunk there, yes.


I can see why you have the hots for him.


Now get in there and cool off.


[ Snoring ]


Nell. Nell, wake up.


Nell?


, , .


It's a.m., And julie's not home yet.


A.m.?


What could a -year-old girl


Be doing out till a.m. With --


Oh, no.


Who are you calling?


Dial-a-prayer.


Where you going?


I said I was --


You were going over to herbie's.


And you're not stopping me.


You want to bet?


Nothing stopped romeo and juliet.


Herbie said that they were only years old,


And they d*ed in each other's arms.


You make a move for that door,


You will die in my arms.


The lady that took care of juliet


Even helped her to get to romeo.


Juliet had a dumb white woman from verona.


You got a hip black woman from alabama.


You don't care about me.


Don't you tell --


Don't tell me I don't care about you!


You get to that phone, and you call that romeo,


And you tell him you're not coming over.


Move it, samantha!


The phone's dead.


Give me the phone.


It is dead.


Everything's dead.


First gertrude, now the phone.


[ Thunder rumbles ]


This whole dumb world's gonna blow up,


And I'll be the only virgin hurtling through space!


Yeah, it's funny now, but it wasn't funny then.


Samantha, look, honey, I want to talk to you.


Alone.


I better check on my laundry.


I'm gonna go feed little nell.


Nell...


Look, don't worry about me.


I'm gonna be fine.


I know that, sweetheart.


[ Chuckles ]


It's just that you're my baby.


Samantha, you've always been my baby.


You know, you getting a job


And getting your own apartment,


It means you're growing up.


And I don't want you to.


Well, nell, how about this.


As soon as I get settled,


I want you to come and visit me.


Just call first.



I'll come.


But I wouldn't count on that call.


Come here.


Oh, hey, I've got a great idea.


Why don't you come up for my birthday?


It's only six weeks away.


You, me, and katie can celebrate it.


I don't know.


It's gonna break my heart


To see you blow out the candles


On your th birthday.


.


You're going to be .


Which means...


You're still ...


Which means I'm legally in control.


And you ain't going to san francisco.


Come on, nell, you can't do this to me.


Don't tell me what I can't do to you!


You're grounded! Go to your room!


You can't leave for six weeks!


Gosh, that felt good.


Nell, in six weeks, sam will be . She can do what she wants anyway.


Yeah, but as long as she's ,


I make the decisions for her.


That's the law of the land,


And I is a law-abiding citizen.


Yes.


[ Laughing ]


Frankly, nell, you're acting irrationally.


Who, me?


I'm the most rational person you'll ever meet,


Especially when it comes to you girls.


Really? Rational?


I remember the time you got that letter from your ex-husband


And I barely escaped with my life.


I don't remember that.


Well, maybe I can jog your memory.


See, your ex-husband had just gotten remarried...


Now, do you want to talk about tony?


No.


Besides, it's all right here in this clipping.


Read it, honey.


"Miss mary ann holt was married to anthony talmadge


"At the little church in the pines.


The -year-old bride..."


?


"...is the former second-runner-up


"To miss baton rouge.


Love, mama."


Oh, good news from home, nell?


She's , you home wrecker!


Let me at her!


Get ahold of yourself! What is wrong with you?


I'm sorry.


I'm sorry, katie.


It's not your fault that you're...!


Nell!


Nell!


Sit her down!


Nell!


Nell, sit.


[ Laughs ]


All right, so, maybe once I did lose my cool.


[ All talking at once ]


Time, time!


Let's be specific.


How much time have you got?


Don't you remember the time


When I was first going out with jonathan...


I think I owe you an explanation.


This isn't as bad as it looks.


I don't want you to feel that julie


Has been compromised in any way.


My respect for her has never been higher.


I hope that once you fully understand the situation,


You will have the same respect for me.


Are you finished?


Actually, the point I was...


Oh, nell!


Nell!


Nell, stop it!


Why did you stop me? I want to get his good leg!


Dessert is on. Everybody sit down.


Come on, babies. [ Smooches ] sit.


You wanted to talk to me, chief?


Yeah, is, uh --


Is, uh, something bothering you?


Yes.


I dropped out of high school.


Again.


There are . Million high-school teachers


In this world.


And I had to end up with addy wilson.


Those are the same exact odds I have of getting leprosy.


That's it?


Yes.


That's why you kept the whole family terrified


For the last hour?


You dropped out of night school



Because of addy wilson?


Nellyes!


Oh, good, I'll drop out, too.


Nobody drops out of the first grade.


Boy, kids never get a break.


Nell, addy wilson is a very smart woman.


You should be honored to be in her class.


Did you know she's a phi beta kappa key?


Well, I have to admit that there have been times


You girls have pushed me to the wall,


And I've had a tendency to come crashing through.


[ Telephone rings ]


[ Grunts ]


Hello?


Oh, addy, any news?


Yep, nell, it's all set.


Samantha got her scholarship.


Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, addy!


Did you sleep with the dean?


It was the computer, nell.


You slept with a computer?


It was a computer error.


Oh, I know that, addy. Can't you take a joke?


No.


Now, repeat after me -- i, nell harper,


Do apologize to my closest and dearest friend, addy,


For behaving like a child.


Uh...


Addy, can I mail that to you?


I got company.


Okay, honey.


Give my love to the family, and I'll see you next week.


Okay. Addy? I love you.


I hope everything works out with you and the computer.


[ Whistling ]


Well?


Oh, I got you your scholarship.


Oh, nell, I can't believe it!


And even though you're only ,


I give you permission to go all the way back to new jersey


To go to college.


I've got to go call buffy carpenter


And tell her I'm going to college!


Oh!


Thanks, anyway, katie.


We'll do it in four years.


Mnh-mnh. She'll be in law school.


I think I better go check on my laundry.


Oh, nell, I knew you'd work everything out.


[ Crying ]


What's wrong with simpson?


Oh, he's all choked up.


I gave him that picture of the bullfighter


On black velvet.


That'll be perfect for his apartment, too.


He can put it right next to his miss piggy poster.


We're all packed up and ready to go.


Oh, you know, jonathan,


Are you sure you didn't want to change your mind and stay?


We got lots of room.


Now you can have all the privacy you want.


Thank you, nell,


But this way's better for everyone.


Really.


Okay.


Wait a minute. Where you going?


To get my little nell.


No!


Didn't I tell you?


Little nell is staying with big nell.


What?


Well, see, you want her to have privacy.


She doesn't like privacy.


I mean, every time you put her down by herself,


She cries, and every time she sees me, she stops.


Face it, jonathan, she hates you.


That little stinker.


I told her not to tell anybody.


All done.


Well, buffy told me they're having a great sale


On cable-knit sweaters at myerson's.


Come here, come here.


Mm, my three girls.


You're all leaving.


Listen, tell you what.


In two weeks when I get back from new york,


Why don't you, jonathan, and the baby


Come down for the weekend?


We'll be getting settled in.


That's okay, the next weekend.


Actually, that weekend we're spending with katie.


Oh, and I guess you're gonna be busy, too, huh?


Yeah.


Well, I'll be waiting on your next load


Of dirty laundry.


Don't go to strangers.


That's a promise.


Come on, I'll drop you at myerson's.


I'll call you tonight, okay?


[ Baby crying ]



Jonathan, I told you she hates you.


Here I am, little nell.


I'm right here.


Jonathanwe'll call you


As soon as we get to san jose, nell.


And how about one of those kisses for me?


Okay, let's go.


Yeah.


Get your hands off my baby.


Julie, wait. Wait a minute.


I got something for you. Look.


Oh!


Look, julie, stop crying. Stop crying.


Look.


Now, you make sure that simpson, you know,


Sticks this up in the back of the paddy wagon, all right?


And I want you to fasten the belt around that baby,


And you be careful with my baby, okay?


And you drive safe.


Now get out of my house.


Go ahead.


[ Car doors open, close ]


Bye!


Well, chief...


...the little girls are gone.


[ Chuckles ]


Oh...


Ring around the rosie...


[ Sighs ]


Joeyaunt nell?


Aunt nell?


Um...i'm in here.


Everybody leave?


Uh-huh.


You know what, joey?


You raise three girls.


They worry you.


You worry about them.


And just when they get to the age


Where you might enjoy being around them,


What do they do?


They run off to have a life of their own


And dump you.


You still got me, aunt nell. I'll never dump you.


Oh, I know that. [ Chuckles ]


Oh, by the way,


Brian hydeman invited me to sleep over tonight.


Is that okay?


Of course. Go ahead.


Are you sure it's okay?


Yeah, get out of here. Go ahead.


Bye.


Bye.


You know something, chief?


I just thought of something


That's gonna get me through the night.


One day, julie's little girl


Is gonna grow up and dump her, too.


[ Laughing ]


♪ Give me a break


♪ Give me a break


♪ Give me a break
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