06x13 - Nell's Secret Admirer

[bunniefuu]

Oh, addy, that's wonderful! A-- sh-- addy, shh! Addy!



Oh, addy, that's wonderful! A-- sh-- addy, shh! Addy!


You can tell me all about it when I get home, okay?


Bye-bye.


I don't believe it.


Addy got invited to a reception


Where she's gonna meet prince charles and princess di.


Are you gonna go to the party, too?


No. I'm saving myself for ronnie and nancy.


Oh.


♪ Gimme a break, now I know what it takes ♪


♪ I'm putting a new face on the old one ♪


♪ Ready for anything


♪ Playing with fate, not a moment too late ♪


♪ I'm showing the whole world nothing can get me down ♪


♪ O-o-o-oh


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ gimme a break


♪ 'Cause I sure need one ♪ gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ I finally know where I belong ♪


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ gimme a break


♪ 'Cause I sure need one ♪ gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ I finally know where I belong ♪


♪ Gimme a break!


Addy!


Addy, get out here! Let me see that dress, girl!


I didn't get the dress.


What do you mean, you didn't get the dress?


I couldn't find anything.


Addy, you mean in all of new york city,


You couldn't find a dress to fit?


Now, I know you are scrawny and hard to fit and all, honey,


But somewhere on the isle of manhattan


There has to be a dress that's gonna fit you, girl.


Yeah, there's a dress that's perfect for me,


But it costs $.


So?


Well, I gave the saleslady my charge card,


And when she ran it through the computer,


The computer laughed...


And I cried.


Honey, why didn't you just write her a check?


Nell, my credit card is at the maximum.


My checking account is at the minimum.


I guess it's god's way of telling me


Not to buy a $ dress.


Bite your tongue.


A loving god would never say something like that.


Just forget it, nell. I just won't go to the party.


Oh, addy, come on. You got to go to that reception.


I mean, how -- how many times are you gonna get a chance


To meet prince charles and princess di, huh?


Hey, look. I got invited to this reception.


I'll get invited to another one.


They're not the only royal couple in the world.


Addy, he's going to be king of england someday.


I know.


I don't want to meet him on the way up.


You got to go to this reception.


I mean, how often do you get a chance to meet royalty...


Unless I run off and marry a duke or something, huh?


You're right.


Maybe I can find a dress on sale.


Oh, addy, please! You can't do that!


Ooh, you got to do this first-class.


I mean, you can't buy a dress on sale.


You'll spend the whole night feeling cheap.


And for once in your life, you don't want to feel that way!


Nell, what else can I do?


I mean, I have a retroactive pay raise,


But I won't get that for another two weeks.


Addy, I will loan you the money.


Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no.


Oh, addy, come on.


I just got my share of the profits


From selling the house in glenlawn,


And all the money is doing is sitting there in the bank.


Nell, that's very sweet.


But it is not a good idea to borrow money from a friend.


Addy, addy, addy.


That is an old wives' tale.


And unfortunately, neither one of us is an old wife, okay?


Nell, I have never borrowed money from a friend before,


And I am not about to start now.


Addy, you don't have any choice, okay?


Now, you're gonna be representing black people,


Women, skinny people...


Californians, new yorkers, the entire united states of america.


I'll tell you, that dress represents


The hope for the entire free world.


Make that check out to "adelaide p. Wilson."


I have known you since grade school.


Now, where did that "p" come from?


I made it up.


It does sound real businesslike, though, doesn't it?


It sure does.


Okay, I'm gonna make it out to "adelaide p. Wilson."


I'm gonna have to sign it "nell q. Harper."


The "q" is for "cute."


Okay. I'll pick up the dress right after work tomorrow.



There you go.


Oh, nell, I cannot thank you enough.


Girl, I owe you big.


No, addy, this sort of makes up


For what I did to you in the ninth grade.


What?


Well, addy, I'm the one that told, um, jerry wells


That you stuffed tissue paper in your bra.


That was you?!


[ Doorbell rings ] you're so bad!


You don't still do that, do you?


Have you been in my room?


Yes, I know you still do it. You do. You do.


Hey.


Hi. Look, uh, I got your mail by mistake.


Did you get any of mine?


No. We have mrs. Jacoby's.


♪ You got to have friends


♪ Yeah


What are you in such a good mood about?


Usually when there's a mess-up with the mail,


Your jaw tightens and your eyes get meaner.


I'll tell you why she's in a good mood.


She's in a good mood 'cause she just did a big favor


For her very best friend.


Oh, addy, will you please -- oh, here.


She just loaned me enough money to buy myself a new dress.


Addy, I told you, it's nothing.


You know, I never usually do favors for friends


Unless there's something in it for me.


Maybe that's why I don't have any friends.


Nell, I just want to thank you again.


You are the most wonderful friend in the whole world.


Mm, so what else is new? Here.


I'm gonna call the store and put that dress on hold.


Okay.


"The most wonderful friend in the whole world"?


How much money did you loan her?


Oh, who can remember?


$.


Did you get her to sign a note?


I don't need her to sign a note.


She's my very best friend.


That has nothing to do with money.


Don't you understand?


Friends are friends, and business is business.


You know, you just know so little about friends.


I don't need her to sign a note


Because addy's gonna pay me back.


Look. Just trust me, all right?


Get her to sign a note.


Once I loaned a friend $ and didn't get him to sign a note.


He's driving down the street one day


And chewing on a piece of licorice.


A piece breaks off, gets caught in his throat.


He chokes and slumps over the wheel,


And they said he d*ed instantly.


Oh, marty, that's terrible.


That's right! He never paid me back my $!


Well, marty, nothing is going to happen to addy!


Nothing ruins a friendship faster than borrowing money!


Wrong -- nothing ruins a friendship faster


Than going away for the weekend with your best friend's husband!


Get out!


[ Door opens ]


Nell, stay right there. I got the dress.


Let me see it! And you are gonna love it.


Let me see it! Let me see it!


I'm so excited. [ Breathing heavily ]


Addy.


Oh, it's gorgeous.


You're gonna be the best-dressed woman at that reception.


Oh, nell, thank you.


And, you know, I owe it all to you.


You know, you were right.


There is nothing wrong with borrowing money from a friend.


You know, I couldn't agree with you more.


You don't eat licorice, do you?


No.


What's that got to do with anything?


Oh, nothing.


It was just something that marty said yesterday.


But, honey, believe me, it was nothing.


Oh, okay.


But you insist upon talking about it.


Marty said that borrowing money from a friend


Could cause big trouble. [ Laughs ]


Have you ever heard anything so ridiculous in your life?


Since when did you start listening to what marty says?


Oh, I don't listen to anything that marty says, honey.


No, no. The people at work said the same thing.


You told the people you work with you loaned me money?


Nell, how could you do that? I know those people!


Oh, I've never been so embarrassed in my life.


Oh, i-it just popped out.


"Popped out"?


What, somebody said, "hi, nell,"


And you said, "I just loaned addy $"?


How'd you know?


I suppose you told everybody at the office!



Oh, addy, will you relax?


I didn't tell everybody at the office. Today is friday.


A lot of those people had already gone home!


What are you doing?


I'm looking for the ad you took out in the newspaper --


"Nell harper loans $


To no-account deadbeat addy wilson."


Oh, come on. Give me that paper back.


I only mentioned it to a couple of people.


The only reason I did that


Was because I didn't want it to come between us.


Nell, what makes you think this would come between us?


Well, addy, you said yourself


That borrowing money from a friend could be dangerous.


Yeah, but you changed my mind.


And I'm glad I did.


Because I would hate if that little piddling amount


Of pocket change would have come between us.


So in the interest of our longtime friendship


And also for your peace of mind,


I just want you to sign this little piece of paper


About the note on the loan.


You want me to sign a note?


Yeah, well -- addy, wait.


See, this is just as much for your good as mine.


I mean, suppose I die. Yeah?


Wait a minute. Let's -- let's rephrase that.


What if I die, and grandpapa says that you owe me $,


When the simple truth is,


He'll only have to sue you for a measly $?


You don't trust me!


Of course I do!


Nell, you do not trust me!


Addy, please! This is just a formality!


I mean, I just simply wrote down the first words


That came to my mind, you know?


"Whereas the party of the first part, adelaide p. Wilson


"Has accepted a legal responsibility of repayment


"To the party of the second part, nell q. Harper,


The specific sum of money, to wit $ --"


All right! All right! Addy, okay!


Okay, okay. All right.


So I did have a little help


From one of the guys down at the office.


Which guy?


Bud levine.


Well, I don't know exactly what he does at the office.


I do know it has something to do with the legal department.


He's head of it.


[ Gasps ] you went to a lawyer!


No, I didn't! Addy, please! Now, wait.


I was standing at the water cooler talking,


And he overheard me.


Well, who were you talking to?


Him.


Oh!


Addy, listen.


Give me the paper. Look, honey. Listen.


When I walk into that office


And I tell them that not only did you sign this


But that you paid me back


And that we're still very best friends,


And then I tear this up right in front of their face,


You know what they're gonna think?


They're going to think


You're the most wonderful person in the world.


Now, sign it.


Addy, bud wants a copy for his files.


He what?!


All right! Whoo!


[ Up-tempo music playing ]


Addynell! [ Door slams ]


Nell! Nell, where are you?!


Nell!


Nell!


How can you hear me with that music on?


I can hear.


My goodness. Guess what.


I stopped by the university, you know,


To check with dean chancellor, about the party,


And my retroactive pay raise was there, and it came to $.!


Aah! Addy, that's wonderful.


So I bought new shoes to go with my dress,


And a new purse,


And wait till you see these earrings.


[ Gasps ]


Addy, they are so gorgeous.


Thank you.


Oh, guess what else I did. What?


I wrote out a check...


I know, you wrote out a check.


...to pay $ on my credit card.


Tell me, addy, uh, just out of curiosity,


Do you have any of that $. Left?


Oh, of course I do. Good.


You didn't think I'd forget about my best friend


Who loaned me the money for that dress?


Loan? What loan? Oh, the loan.


Girl, it almost slipped my mind.


Well, it didn't slip my mind.



Uh-oh! Uh-oh! Uh-oh!


Payday! Here it comes! Hit me!


$! $!


$! $!


$! $!


$! $!


$! $!


$! $!


My very first payment.


Of what? The loan.


Girl, I have got to get dressed.


Look, if you need me, I'll be in my room, okay?


$?


No, no, no, no.


This is all just a horrible, horrible dream,


Just like "dallas."


I don't believe it.


Hey, nell. Hi, maggie. Come in. Have some coffee. Oh, thanks.


I'm saving the dentist a couple stamps


By hand-delivering these appointment reminders


For joey and matt.


I figure that gives me a leg up on employee of the month.


Thanks, maggie.


Hey, what are friends for, huh?


Well, friends are for not loaning money to.


Says who?


[ Chuckles ]


I mean, I was a little short myself this month.


But I ran into addy, and she loaned me bucks.


Addy loaned you bucks?


Yeah.


That's a good friend, huh?


Yeah.


She only gave me $.


Addy loaned you money, too?


No.


I can't -- she is such a generous person, nell.


Well, she is.


I think it's really a blessing for joey and matthew


To have her around as a role model.


Oh, yeah. She's a godsend.


I'm telling you, if it wasn't for her,


The boys would probably be in prison by now.


What's the matter, nell?


You jealous that I borrowed the money from addy instead of you?


Hmm?


The truth of the matter is,


I was on my way up to ask you, but I ran into addy first.


Get out.


If you're really offended, I could use another $.


Out!


All right! I'm going. I'm going.


Jeez, you're so touchy. It was just bucks.


If you're still uptight, though, I could take a $.


Out!


All right!


Aunt nell? Yes, honey?


What did you say to matthew?


He wouldn't lend me his crayons, and then he called me...


"Eggs benedict."


Um, you're gonna have to figure it out for yourself, honey.


I have problems of my own, okay?


Hey, matthew, aunt nell said it was okay!


I did not!


[ Doorbell rings ] oh, I'm coming.


[ Sighs ]


Hi. My nails are still wet.


Uh, nell, could you turn on the tv


To the educational channel, please?


Oh, sure. Be glad to.


You see, I was watching the best show on tv.


I just hope I didn't miss the end of it.


You were at the manicurist's for an awfully long time.


Well, before my manicure, I got a pedicure.


You want to turn that on for me, please?


Sure, I'll turn it on for you.


This is public-supported television's pledge week.


Oh, darn! I missed the end of the show.


Oh, well, I'd better start getting ready.


Boy, where does the time go? I just don't know.


"Boy, where does the time go? I just don't know."


[ Sighs ]


Viewer support brings you our programs.


And we'd like to thank those


That have already contributed --


Gloria leon -- $.


John and mary connors -- $.


Joe merrillson -- $.


And a special thank-you to adelaide p. Wilson


For her generous pledge of $.


$ From adelaide p. Wilson?!


That's right.


That's the kind of generosity that keeps this station alive.


[ Doorbell rings ] wait till bud hears about this.


I got everybody's mail today. I --


Just get in here, please.


Addy's in the other room, so just keep your voice down.


I can't. I'm a tenor.


Will you just keep your voice down?!


What's wrong, anyway?



Addy is spending money like a drunken sailor.


What?


If I had loaned her any more money,


She would have gone out and built a hospital.


I get it now.


You're still upset about the loan, right?


I told you -- get a note!


I got a note!


But addy has a new purse.


She has new earrings.


And if you take of those new shoes I bought her,


You'll see where the rest of my money went.


Well, look. The party's tonight, right?


It's like "cinderella," so don't ruin it for her.


The minute she comes home, nail her for the money.


I'm gonna go upstairs to mrs. Jacoby.


Did you know she's being audited?


See you later.


Addynell!


Nell!


Yes, addy?


Nell, can I use some of your hand lotion?


Why don't you take it all, addy?


You can pay me back -- one finger at a time.


[ Intercom buzzes ]


Yes?


Yes, addy wilson lives here.


Limousine service?


Downstairs, huh?


Well, uh, princess adelaide will be right down.


Bye.


What do you think?


Addy, I can't put into words what I think.


[ Laughs ] was that the limousine?


Yeah.


I didn't know there was a bus strike.


I know it's a little extravagant.


But, hey, I got the money.


Yeah, you got the money. Yeah. Mm-hmm.


Speaking of which, do you have change for a $?


Of course I do. You know I'm made of money.


I bailed out chrysler.


Yeah. Well, it's just that I want to tip the chauffeur a $.


Just a $?


Aw.


Here you go.


Here's $, $, $, $, $.


Here you go -- $.


There you go. Thanks a lot, nell.


Oh, nell, you know,


This is going to be the most exciting night of my life.


And I owe it all to you.


[ Door closes ] you certainly do.


Listen here, adelaide wilson!


You give me back my money, and you give it to me right now!


No.


Nell! Nell, it was incredible!


I'm going to be perfectly honest with you.


Nell, it was out of this world!


Oh, nell, if I live to be years old,


I will never, ever, ever forget this night.


Nell!


Nell, I ate pheasant under glass. And I danced.


Oh, what am I saying, "I danced"? I waltzed!


Nell, it was just like being in the movies!


Prince charles is really charming.


And princess di's lady-in-waiting came up to me,


And she told me that she loved my dress!


Did you tip her? [ Laughs ]


Oh, nell, you want to know


What the best part of the whole evening was?


No. Tell me.


It was when princess di's lady-in-waiting came over to me,


And I told her that you were the best friend


In the entire world.


Uh, y-you -- wow. You talked about me.


Talked about you?!


Nell, I told everybody at the whole party


How you loaned me the money for this dress


And how you told me to do everything first-class.


Oh, nell, you are the most generous person in the world.


Thank you for the most exciting night of my life!


I just love you for this!


Addy, uh, please stop this.


Love, love, love, love, love!


Okay, addy. Um, yeah.


It's -- it's the least I could do.


I mean, you are my very best friend.


Very best friend! Very best friend!


Just stop it!


[ Sighs ]


You know, there was one other thing that I wanted to do.


Best friends don't need notes.


Thank you, nell.


Um, hey, where are the boys?


I told them they could spend the night at grandpa's.


Great. Why don't we go out and do the town, honey?


I got the limo for two more hours.


I can't, addy. Oh, all right.


I don't have exact bus fare, anyway.



Why don't you just wait a little more?


I'm just gonna pull myself together, okay?


Okay. I'll be right downstairs.


And I'll be right, uh -- right behind you.


[ Door closes ]


[ Sighs ]


[ Chuckles ]


Don't worry. Buddy has a copy.


[ Chuckles ]


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Gimme a break