06x23 - Save the Church

[bunniefuu]

♪ Gimme a break, now I know what it takes ♪



♪ Gimme a break, now I know what it takes ♪


♪ I'm putting a new face on the old one ♪


♪ Ready for anything


♪ Playing with fate, not a moment too late ♪


♪ I'm showing the whole world nothing can get me down ♪


♪ O-o-o-oh


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ gimme a break


♪ 'Cause I sure need one ♪ gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ I finally know where I belong ♪


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ gimme a break


♪ 'Cause I sure need one ♪ gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ I finally know where I belong ♪


♪ Gimme a break!


Yeah, there he is.


Hi, guys.


Hi.


Oh, goodness. What are you doing?


[ Laughs ]


What are you doing?


Aunt nell, we were gonna watch tv!


I'm sorry, honey. We can't.


I've got to get this place straightened up


Before she gets here.


Before who gets here?


Mary ellen baldwin.


Joey, take the popcorn and the milk into the kitchen,


Pick up your games and your books,


And take them in your bedroom, okay?


Nell, who is mary ellen baldwin?


Oh, grandpapa, she's this girl that I went to school with


Back in my hometown in alabama.


Grandpapa, the girl had beauty, brains, money.


Hmm. She had everything.


[ Chuckles ]


I hated her.


I still do.


Anyway, she called mama when she got in town this morning --


Excuse me, honey --


And she said that she needed to see us.


Grandpapa, I do hope that you have another shirt.


Nell, I am not going to change my shirt


For some woman from alabama.


Well, then change it for me.


You're the woman I'm talking about.


[ Buzzer rings ]


Oh, that must be mama.


Who else nothing to do but come over here and aggravate me?


Hello?


Yes, mama. Come right on up.


By the way, nell, if this rich friend of yours


Is interested in an aging polish gigolo,


I'll be upstairs.


Uh, joey, listen.


I want you to go in your room and change clothes


And put on a tie, honey.


Aunt nell, do I have to?


Don't you want your friend to meet me just the way I am --


A good-looking, casual kind of guy?


Yes, honey, I want her to meet a good-looking,


Casual kind of guy -- with a tie.


So get your casual butt out of here.


I'll be glad when I'm a rock star,


'Cause they don't wear ties.


[ Doorbell rings ] boy!


I told you, you're not gonna be a rock star!


You're gonna be president of the naacp.


Hi, ma. Come on in.


Nell, when mary ellen gets here --


I know, ma -- you want me to be on my best behavior.


No. Your best behavior's not good enough.


Thank you, ma.


Now, promise me, nell, you'll be nice to mary ellen.


Mama, I was always nice to mary ellen.


I mean, whenever she would wave at me


From her big house up on the hill,


I never threw rocks.


Isn't addy gonna be here?


No, mama.


She's spending the weekend


In atlantic city with a telephone repairman.


I tell you, mama, it's just not fair.


I'm the one who reported that phone out of order.


Well, I'm sorry, nell.


You know, addy always liked mary ellen.


[ Buzzer rings ] addy didn't like mary ellen.


Nobody liked mary ellen.


I mean, she was the only kid in our school who had a car.


Hello?


Well, hello, mary ellen, darling.


Why don't you come right on up? Apartment b.


Bye.


You know what, mama?


My fondest memory of mary ellen


Was the day her car broke down.


Addy and I stood on the side of the road,


And we just cheered as that tow truck towed that car away.


We were screaming, "talk turkey, rich kid!"


[ Doorbell rings ]



I just hope her hair has turned gray


And her skin has shriveled up like a prune.


Why, mary ellen, you look stunning.


Your complexion is so plum-like.


Oh, nell.


Hmm.


Oh, and mama maybelle. Hello.


[ Smooches ]


Why don't you let me take your coat?


Oh, thank you.


Oh, what a beautiful sable.


"Hand wash, tumble dry."


Just kidding. I'm still a kidder.


Oh, my husband, bernie, bought me that coat.


Well, I'm into fun furr myself.


Uh-huh. Nell thinks it's fun not to have a fur.


Sit down, honey.


Thank you.


Mary ellen, tell me just what's happening back home.


Oh, everything back home is just fine.


It certainly is good to see the both of you.


It's so good seeing you again, mary ellen.


You know, nell, we ought to go back


And visit our old friends.


Oh, it'd be so good seeing your father's church again.


You better hurry up. They're tearing it down next week.


What?


Well, yes. Mama maybelle, that's why I'm here.


Actually, my husband, bernie, bought the property


And we are building condos.


Condos?!


You're tearing down my husband's church


To build housing for yuppies?


Yes, and the best part of the deal


Is the money you'll be getting out of it.


I don't care about the money.


Ma, let's not speak too hasty.


Just what kind of numbers are we talking here?


When we went through the church records,


We found out when your father was minister,


He loaned the church $, to repair the leaky roof.


I remember that.


It was the last of our life savings.


Mama maybelle, here is $,.


$, For you, and $, apiece for loretta and nell.


Why, thank you.


I'll see that my little sister gets her share.


Forget the money, nell!


Mama!


And you, you take your cheap hamster fur


And hightail it out of here!


Uh, ma, are you forgetting that she's our friend?


Well, i-i didn't mean to upset you.


I mean, we are building another church right across town.


I don't want another church! I want the old one!


Excuse me.


You'll have to forgive my ma.


She's not quite herself.


She didn't take her nap today.


Well, honey, why don't you just...


Take your fur, and...


Why don't you just call us later, okay?


Write another check.


Ma!


They're not getting away with it, nell!


It's just a building. What's wrong with condos?


I mean, yuppies can't sleep in their bmws.


I am going back to alabama and save our church.


Ma, mary ellen told you,


They are building another church right across town.


That's just like you, nell.


You wouldn't go back home and save that church.


You wouldn't do it for me.


You wouldn't do it for the family.


You wouldn't do it for your father,


Your very dear departed father in heaven!


All right, mama, I'll go!


Who asked you?


So, this is where you grew up, huh?


Yep. [ Sniffles ]


Ma, please don't cry.


You promised me you weren't going to cry.


I promised you I wouldn't cry on the airplane.


Well, we're on the ground now.


Aunt nell, may I go outside and play in the cemetery?


'Cause I like to read all the names on the gravestones.


Oh, yeah. You know, that can be fun.


Especially if you don't see your own.


Get out of here.


[ Clears throat ]


Ladies, excuse me, but sunday services are over.


Who are you, young man?


I'm from the wrecking company.


Oh, you're the one who's gonna run the bulldozer


Into the house of god.


You heathen.


I'm not a heathen. I'm a methodist.


Same thing.


And I'm not running the bulldozer


Into this house of god.



I'm using dynamite.


Where do you live, young man?


I can get some dynamite, too, you know.


Mama, please.


The man is just trying to do his job.


Nell, you're not a fighter.


Mama, what is there to fight about?


This is just an old, cold, drafty building.


I mean, every time daddy gave his sermon,


He had to have a vaporizer on the pulpit.


Nell? Hi.


Mama maybelle. I'd like to speak to you.


How dare you show your face in this church, mary ellen?


Mama maybelle, please hear me out.


[ Sighs ]


I want you to know that I do not hold it against you


For throwing me out of your apartment.


Well, good.


Then you won't hold it against me


When I throw you out of this church.


Ma, please.


Mary ellen might have come here


To tell us something very important,


Like, "here's your checks."


Well, as a matter of fact, here they are.


Mama maybelle, I understand your feelings.


But this church is gonna be torn down


Whether you take this money or not.


We're not taking that money,


And you are not tearing down this church.


Listen, on behalf of my sweet little sister and myself


And my sentimental old mama, give me those checks.


I knew you'd be sensible, nell.


Well, honey, you do need a new church.


I mean, it's so cold in here, not that you would notice.


But it's so cold in here


That the nose on your fox is beginning to run.


[ Sneezes ]


Bless you -- reverend!


Praise the lord! Nell!


Oh, my goodness, maybelle. It's so nice to see you.


You know, mary ellen told me you two were in town.


George dixon, how can you call yourself a man of god


And let them tear down this church?


Believe me, maybelle, believe me,


Tearing down this church is an improvement.


Really, I mean, the place is old.


Darling, look, it's falling apart.


See there? Right up there, there's a draft that --


[ Sneezes ]


Bless you, reverend.


Whose side are you on, nell?


I mean, it is so cold in here, when I give my sermon,


I got to put a vaporizer inside the pulpit.


Reverend, I think we better be going.


We have to pick up that new organ


I'm having sent over from germany.


We were very lucky to get it.


They had to tear down an old church over there.


You're tearing down churches all over the world!


[ Sneezes ]


Bless you.


We'll see you later, now, okay?


Bye-bye, reverend.


Ma, please. I know what you're going through.


[ George sneezes ]


But, honey, you just can't be so sentimental


Over an old church.


Nell, I don't expect you to understand.


This church has never meant as much to you as it does to me.


But you -- oh.


I'm going down and see mayor watson.


You mean old kickback-under-the-table watson?


Aunt nell, you know, that cemetery is so cool.


They have got a moses harper born in .


I know. That's my great-granddaddy.


There were five other harpers buried next to him.


Are those his kids?


No. Those are his wives.


He was real active in the church.


[ Chuckling ]


What's so funny, aunt nell?


Oh, I was just thinking about the first time


That addy and I recited the lord's prayer here.


Let's see.


"Our father, who art in heaven,


Howard be thy name."


[ Chuckles ]


Up until I was , I thought god's first name was howard.


That is funny.


Hey, come here. Sit down. Come here. Sit.


Just sit right here.


Now... [ Clears throat ]


You are now sitting on the pew where me, mama,


And loretta used to sit.


We used to sit right here when my daddy used to preach


To the congregation from up there.


And addy and her family -- they sat over there.


Boy, we used to pass some notes.


What did you write?



Well, it was just silly stuff.


See, addy would write,


"Nell, do you like mary ellen's new dress?"


And I would write back, "no.


"It's ugly.


But not as ugly as her feet."


[ Laughs ]


You ever get caught?


Did I get caught? I got caught every sunday.


I mean every sunday.


And you know what? It was always addy's fault.


That girl would always start to laugh


Just as the choir would stop singing.


My daddy would raise one eyebrow and look straight at me.


Always at me. Always at me.


Oh, well.


You know what, joey?


My daddy had a wonderful, booming voice.


I mean, he could fill this whole room.


I used to love it.


Like, he would get up here


And he would look out over the congregation.


And then he would, um, clear his throat.


[ Clears throat ]


See, now, he had three sermons.


One was "hell and damnation."


Now, I always knew we were gonna get that one.


It would always be the sunday after the saturday night


That I had stayed out past curfew.


Always.


He'd walk over, he'd look at me,


And he'd say, "now, we're gonna talk about sinners."


And of course everybody in the congregation knew


That I had stayed out past curfew.


That man, I tell you -- wait. And he had another one.


Uh, it was the "money" sermon.


You see, joey, you cannot yell hell and damnation at people


When you're trying to pick their pockets.


So my daddy would turn on the charm,


And he would give you his money smile.


Then he would tell one of his funny stories.


He told some good ones.


Wait, here's one. I like this one.


[ Clears throat ]


"There was this man...


"Who got into this cab driver's cab.


"And he said to the cab driver,


"'Ain't it wonderful


"That we're havin' a baptist convention here in town?'


Amen, amen."


"And the cab driver turned to the man and said,


"'What's so wonderful about that?


"'Them baptists come down here


"'With the commandments in one hand


"'And a $ bill in the other hand,


And they don't break neither one of them!'"


"I know you are some good baptists,


"And you ain't about to break the commandments.


"But as sure as I'm standing here,


"You're gonna break a $ bill.


Pass the collection plate."


And then he would put on his money stare.


And the money would just come rolling in.


I'm not talking that silver stuff.


I'm talking about money would come rolling in.


And then -- wait.


My favorite sermon was the ones on love.


Oh, wow.


Dad used to tell some good stories.


He was really a great storyteller.


Anyway, there was this one


About this little girl who just loved her teddy bear.


Now, that is strange, 'cause, you know, I had...


Just completely forgotten about that.


It's coming back to me. I don't know why.


It's 'cause I'm in daddy's church.


Anyway. [ Clears throat ]


This little girl -- she really loved her teddy bear.


I mean, the fur was all thin,


And the stuffing was falling out.


But she didn't care 'cause she loved her teddy bear.


Anyway, one day, she came in,


And she caught her little sister,


Who was sick in bed, playing with her teddy bear.


That mean little girl went over to her,


And she said, "that's my bear!"


She took it back. She ripped the arm off.


Then she looked over,


And she saw her little sister...


Lying there all alone... Sick.


And she gave her back the teddy bear.


Anyway, I used to sit up here, and I used to think, "wow.


That's a wonderful story."


See, I realized...


...daddy was talking about me.


The mean little girl was me.


I sang my first song up here.


My, I remember.


I was so nervous.


I was so scared.



But see, I was excited, too, now,


'Cause I didn't want to let my daddy down.


Unh-unh.


So I just stood up here just like this,


And I looked straight out into the congregation,


And I kept my eyes...


On this little bird on top of mama's hat.


♪ Precious lord


♪ Take my hand


♪ Lead me on


♪ Let me stand


♪ I am tired


♪ I am weak


♪ I am worn


♪ Through the storm


♪ Through the night


♪ Lead me on


♪ To the light


♪ Precious lord


♪ Take my ha-a-a-a-a-nd


♪ And le-e-e-e-e-ad me home


[ Chuckles ]


Oh, nell, that was beautiful.


That was the first song you ever sang in this church.


Aunt nell, may I go outside


And watch the construction workers?


Yeah. Get out of here.


Oh.


How did it go, mom?


Mm-mm. Unh-unh.


That's okay, mama. Don't you cry.


It's all right, nell.


I guess we all have to learn


That we have to let go sometime.


What?!


You know what, mama? You're just not a fighter.


What do you mean?


Look, I don't care, mama.


I'm gonna stay here and fight for my daddy's church,


Even if I lose, okay?


There.


Oh, nell.


You know, your father is looking down on you


From heaven right now with a smile.


Yeah, ma.


And I know exactly what he's saying.


What's that?


"Nell, how can you tear up $, worth of checks?"


Joeyhey, aunt nell!


You better come quick, 'cause your friend's rolls-royce


Just broke down outside, and it's gonna be towed away!


Honey, I got to see this.


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Gimme a break