02x06 - The Good, the Bad, and the Thizzly

[bunniefuu]

Y'all this is E and

you're not gonna believe what
happened last week on Blindspotting.

- Bitch.
- Why is he in jail?

He tried to do the right
thing at a really bad time.

What's up? Big hug, big hug.

Give me all your gold.
Uh-uh, come up off it.

So when's
y'all's next family visit?

Actually, they
gave us another slot

the next weekend.

This right here
is the tale of a little,

itty, bitty mustard seed.

The seed's name is Sean Turner,

his papa bear tucked in the slammer,

and a wanted outlaw named Ashley Rose.

You an outlaw, ain't ya?

One is only an outlaw
if one gets caught,

and I do not get caught.

Guess that makes my pa an outlaw.

Oaktown sheriff got him
in a tumbleweed wagon

at the edge of this here town.

I came here fixin' to
bust him out of jail.

Saying a prayer for the mission ahead.

You're gonna break him out, alone?

Have you seen the sheriff's muscle?

You gonna need more
than a load of pointers.

I brought backup,

big backup, for when the time come.

Sure you did.

But that town down there was run by

Sheriff Renrut and the Niner g*ng,

and the Niner g*ng is
as ruthless as they come.

If you value being on this
side of the Pearly Gates,

you best think twice about crossin' 'em.

But they the ones that have my pa.

He got separated by his
crew, and they ambushed him.

- What'd he do?
- I wasn't there,

but he ain't a bad man.

Tried to do the right thing
at the wrong time is all.

Yeah, Ashley Rose felt hella
bad for the young moustache,

and she was wrestling her own demons

like two Tasmanian devils in the trunk.

So she thought then and there,

"This may be the cleanser
that sends himself,

throwing her a pass if
she pressed the gas."

Bitch.

Guess you need me at
your flank then, huh?

You gonna help me?

What's in it for you?

Well, kid, let's just say

I've done more wrong
in my life than right,

and I came here in search of forgiveness

or guidance or penance,
and here you come.

I reckon that's a sign of sorts.

Them things loaded?

Saddle up. We got a jailbird to free.

_

See? They got my pa in a cage.

That means they intend
to move him by dawn.

We must be quick about this.

I know that man.

He's an outlaw too.

- Will he help us?
- We shall see.

Sean and Ashley
had another thing coming,

thinking they was finna pull up

without anybody taking notice.

Looks like they cover their face.

I reckon they're up to no good.

All right, boy, let's settle in here,

and then we'll hold up at
the saloon after nightfall,

see who else we can rally for our cause.

Let's go.

Bet y'all think fools with gold

built up all the towns
in the Old West, huh?

Let me sprinkle you, mayne.

The real gouda for all
that was made by females,

sex working females all
about they scriznilla.

Now, Kinky Blinders was
a no-nonsense type of spot

where you either pay to play
or you're on your win-ay.

Tequila.

What'll it be, partner?

Uh, I already had

so many alcohols before I came.

We got milkshakes.

Strawberry straight up.

All right, now, take a good look, boy.

This here what we're up against.

Why, I bet every gunslinger in here

was bought and paid
for by the Niner g*ng.

What big business have you two?

You look of sus and mischief.

I aim to help this young fella

save his daddy from the
clutches of the Niner g*ng.

They got his pa at the lip of
town in some god-awful cage.

Now, I know you hate being
under their boot the same,

so make with the backstory.

This here is Sheriff Renrut's town.

He run the Niners g*ng full
and is a ruthless old cuss,

but just so happens

he's tending to other
business this very day.

You best talk to the madam here

you fixing to make that move.

Y'all might be less alone
than you think when it comes

to the business of
freein' one Miles Turner.

That is not how you treat my girls!

Here she comes.

And even if it's just the tip,
you still gotta tip, n*gga.

f*ck out of my way.

Sean?

Is that my long-lost
nephew? Boy, come here, baby.

How are you? Oh, my goodness.

Mm-mm.

Oh, my gosh.

- Tía Trish!
- Shh!

Boy, not my government name.

Now, what you doing way out here?

Fixing to free my
daddy someway, somehow.

Well, boy, you done
came at the right time,

'cause that's exactly
what I'm fixing to do.

I need someone small

for my plan to bust my dear brother out.

I was hoping to use Jacque
here, but she giggles.

Who this be with you?

Ashley Rose. She's an outlaw.

Mm, can't we just roll up,

do some blam-blam, grab him, and run?

Sure, if you're ready
to meet your maker,

but I have a better plan.

Now, you listen close,

because he will be here any minute.

Who?

The deputy.

That's a real dangerous m*therf*cker.

Now, the deputy and his Niner g*ng

are the sheriff's main
muscle in this town.

They come riding in at
the same time every night

for beans and their whiskey,

and then a night with some of my girls.

He's a tall and mean son of a bitch.

He's got the keys to the prison wagon

hanging right there on
his hip day and night,

and that's what we need.

Get out of my way.

Now, the plan is
to Mickey Finn his whiskey,

which he orders fresh
to the table every night

so as to avoid poisoning.

Now, we must be slick
as a mule's whistle

if this plan is to work, so quick,

do exactly as I say

and stay low.

He's here.

Beans and whiskey, darling.

Right away, sir.

Thank you, bean boy.

Or is it Chili the Kid?

Chili the Kid!

He's named Chili...

Go on now. Go on.

What in the tarnation?

Oh, oh, oh.

It was just one of them western quakes.

- You remember those?
- Oh, yeah.

- You know how they go.
- Of course I do, baby.

Yeah.

I'd like ten minutes with you.

I'm resting my bones for a moment.

Come on, darling.

Ain't no rest around the Niner g*ng.

Come on now.

Oh, ee.

Uh, there's a suspiciously
little person...

Oh!

Oh, my goodness. Oh, Deputy.

Oh, I'm so frightened,
Deputy. Oh, please protect me.

I just cannot believe
what's going on over here.

What game you playing at?

I'm so frightened! I'm so frightened.

- Zoe!
- Oh, Lord.

Oh, please.

Get off me.

Need I bust a charge or can
we go about our business?

Drinks on the house, everybody!

Drinks on the house.

Why, thank you.

Sit down, sit down.

Ah, thank you, Miss Zoe.

Yeah.

Now, Deputy, you ready for some dessert?

I got my eye on you, girl.

You best mind me too.

I ain't with the fuckery.

Well, I'm... all in.

Can't finish your whiskey?

Boss, I just had the craziest dream.

I was being chased by a shark,
and he was trying to bite me,

- but I bit him first.
- Do I look like I care?

Sorry, Boss.

Oh, what...

All right, that's it.

The wheels are in motion.

Meet me at the far
end of town in an hour.

He should be sleep as a corpse by then.

I should be on with the keys.

What's taking Trish so long?

She'll get here when she gets here.

All right, kid, let's take a nap.

- Wake up.
- Oh, geez.

Wake up, you hogs. Took him all night,

but finally got him down
long enough to get his keys.

We about to raid. Y'all
are in the g*ng now.

Let's go.

Come on. Come on.

It's quiet.

But something was out
of pocket on this dusty trail.

Everybody was tucked like a
button-up at a quinceañera.

Hello.

It's a trap!

Hyah!

You b*tches have poisoned me!

Don't hurt her.

I'm the deputy,

and this is my town.

And he's my prisoner.

No!

Throw your g*ns down
before Sheriff Renrut returns,

and I might ask him to spare your life

from the hangman's noose.

Well, boy, if you have that backup,

now's the time for them to show.

Yup, that'll do it.

What the f*ck is that?

Now we can make time for the blam-blam.

f*ck the Niners!

Got her? Go, go, go.

Oh, sh*t.

f*ck, I'm out.

Hey, I got you, girl.

Look out! Move.

Whoo!

I got to get you to that
wagon. Come on. Let's go.

Come here, kid.

Not so fast.

Go get your daddy, boy.

Oh, come on. Run. Run. Come on.

Look out.

Oh.

Get down. Down.

Oh, sorry. Sorry.

Roll call. Sorry.

Having fun, bruh?

Definitely.

All right. All right.

Here we go.

Okay.

Now, let's get back to
this bobbery of brutes.

Go. Go. Go. Hurry. Hurry.

Where are ya?

I'm gonna gut you like a pig, boy.

sh*t!

Go, go, go.

Hey, my boy.

Hey, what are you doing here?

I brought friends.

Good.

All right, get that
key. No, not that one.

Try another one. Try another one.

Hands off the cage, boy.

Your daddy belongs to the sheriff now.

Leave him alone, Montana.

Whoo! Come here. Come on.

Whoa.

But...

you're just a bean cook.

No, no.

I'm the Spice King, and
I'm a son of a bitch.

- Hey, kid!
- Let's go.

Give up those keys.

Come on, come on. Throw me those keys.

Go, go, go. Get out of here.

Get out of here.

Go!

Come on, come on, come on.

Whoo! Got the keys? Come on. Here we go.

Come on, get 'em in.

The-the small one. Come
on, get the small one.

Get the small one and come on.

We have you surrounded.

Oh, sh*t.

Well, we can't be mad at you.

We was always gonna k*ll you.

Gotta make room for all the new settlers

who actually contri...

contribute to society.

Where are they?

Show yourselves.

Hey!

Y'all clear out now

and you won't get hurt by
the other end of my hammer.

You're outgunned.

Oh, really?

Not if you count these.

My guy!

What it do, playboy?

All right. Come on.

Let's go.

- Hey there, Rainey.
- Hey, mama.

Oh, yeah, right. Try all of them.

It's-it's one of the smaller keys.

Try the bigger key. Bigger key.

Small one.

And get it back in. Get
it back... no, keep going.

Keep...

No!

sh*t. Go, go.

That's for Jacque.

Help, help.

My boy, come here.

You okay?

- Yeah.
- All right.

Hey, you saved him.

Okay, okay. All right, okay.

Yeah, she's clipped pretty good,

but she's-she's gonna be okay.

- She's gonna be okay.
- Okay.

Miles Turner!

Get up. Get up.

Oh, boy. The big boss.

I knew this day would come.

It's over, Sheriff.

These Oaktown raiders have bested you.

You did this to yourself, Miles.

Wait.

I know that voice.

You're damn right you do,

brother.

His twin brother.

- What is this?
- Shh, it's a metaphor.

Born . seconds after me

and evil as the day is long.

This is between you and me, all right?

You leave them out of this.

You may have been quicker out of mother,

but I'll be the quicker one today.

'Cause today's the day we end this...

once and for all.

A showdown.

f*ck the police.

Fashiggadale.

Now, you,

how did you make it this far?

Her. She helped me.

Hey.

What's up, girl?

Thank you for helping my
boy. You saved his life.

How's that wound?

I've had worse.

Yeah, me too.

Well, safe travels.

Thank you.

You know, I could use
some help raising this boy.

I'm no good.

Yeah, well, we all have our sins.

Why don't you come with us?

How 'bout it?

All right.

Well, look like our three banditos

then became three amigos.

They rode, hand in hand,
all across the land,

blazing new trails and
tales for another day.

Damn.

The f*ck is the m*therf*cking

Steven Stealberg going on here?

Zombie cowboys!

Oh, hell no.

Thanks for saving me.

You are the toughest kid in the West.

Can't you just come with
us for real this time?

Uh...

... I can't do that.

But, um...

... I will be here for you to break out

all over again in another
month or two, okay?

Come back to me now.

I love you, my boy.

I love you, Dad.

You too, girl.

I love you too.