04x22 - Animal Rights and Wrongs

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Sweet Valley High". Aired: September 5, 1994 – October 14, 1997.*
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Based on the books of the same name, revolves around the lives of Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield, beautiful blonde twins who live in the fictitious Sweet Valley, California, and their g*ng of friends.
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04x22 - Animal Rights and Wrongs

Post by bunniefuu »

-What are you reading?

- The Trip.

Boring.

I've got today's news.

You know how you've always wanted to be in front of the camera?

No, that's you.

Well, you know how you've always

wanted to be a glamorous spokesmodel.

No, that's you, too.

Work with me here.

Jess, what's your point?

Double Vision Cosmetics have begun their search

for the new Double Vision twins.

They're holding auditions tomorrow afternoon.



-So?

-So, we'd be perfect.

With my good looks and your... ability to look like me,

we're unstoppable.

I don't know.

I'm really busy working on the animal conservancy membership drive with Cheryl.

Please, free Willy some other time. This is important.

How is this important?

When I was little, what did I always say I wanted to be?



-A Malibu Barbie.

-Not that little.

Come on, you know this.

[sighs] The most famous person in the whole world.

This is my chance.



-[sighs]

-Please!

I'll give you back your sweaters and most of your CDs.

[groans] Fine, I'll let you use my jeep.

It's my jeep, too.

Liz, my future's in your hands.

If you say no now, I may never get on TV.

I could wind up just like every other random nobody out there.

Only, more beautiful.

Jess, I told you, I'm too busy.

[sighs] Liz, I'm not gonna beg you for this.

Please, please, please, please, please, please.



-Jess, get up. I'll do it.

-[sighs] Thanks

And don't mention the begging to anyone.



-Hey!

-The camera adds ten pounds.

Let's not make it .

[groans]

♪ Look right down any crowded hall ♪

♪ You'll see there's a beauty standing ♪

♪ Is she really everywhere or a reflection? ♪

♪ One always calls out to you ♪

♪ The other's shy and quiet ♪

♪ Could there be two different girls ♪

♪ Who look the same at ♪

♪ Sweet Valley, Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you at Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Sweet Valley, Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you at Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Sweet Valley, Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you at Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Sweet Valley, Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you at Sweet Valley High ♪

[Winston] So you have any plans for the weekend?

[Enid] Oh, Manny and I are gonna watch my home movies.



-What are you gonna do?

-Oh...

I'm going to the Model Airplane Expo.

This...

is my pride and joy.

It's a replica of the original Kitty Hawk Flyer built by the Wright Brothers.

Perfect to the last detail.



-Todd and I are gonna have a blast.

-Todd's going with you?

Of course. This is, like, our thing. We go every year.

Yo, Egbert. More fries.

And step on it.

[sighs] Excuse me. It's feeding time at the zoo.



-Hey, I can't eat these fries.

-Why not?



-[jocks laughing]

-Aw. 'Cause they fell on the floor.



-Good one, Dirk.

-[chuckles] Pick them up, egg

-cheese.



-Yeah, pick 'em up.

-That was funny.

You know you're paying for these.

Oh, really? Oh, well, in that case.



-That was awesome, dude.

-[laughing]

Wow. It gets funnier every time.

Hey, Winston?



-Want a hand?

-Yeah, thanks, Todd.



-[all applauding and laughing]

-All right, Wilkins.

[both] Double Vision!

It'll leave your lashes looking great, twice.



-Twice.

-[both] Twice as long.

We'll get back to you soon.

Please tell me there's someone else.

Next.

They had better be good.



-Break a leg.

-Literally.

Nice shirts. I hope they come back in style soon.

I can't believe I let you talk me into this.

Just remember, we're a team. We've got to stick together.



-Okay.

-I'll stand in front and do all the talking.



-What are they doing?

-I don't know.

Excuse me.

Are we lighting a set here or roasting a turkey.



-Lights down!

-That's more like it.

And... action!



-When our mascara clumps up, it makes us wanna...

-[both] Lash out.



-That's why we use...

-Double Vision.

It'll leave your lashes looking great, twice...



-Twice...

-[both] Twice as long.

Brilliant.

At last, I have found my twins.

Congratulations, ladies.



-Congratulations.

-Thank you.

The Kitty Hawk Flyer is sailing better than ever.

Great.

You don't know what I'm talking about, do you?

Of course I do.

No.

Well, you know what this Friday is, right?

Georgia Tech plays Duke on ESPN.



-Yeah, buddy.

-No, it's the Model Airplane show.

Oh, yeah.

I've been preparing all month.

Uh, Winston, don't you think we're a little old for this?

That's the beauty of it.

This year we're eligible for the master's division.

Oh, that's good news.

Mmm

-hmm. So, you'll pick me up at the Moon Beach Friday afternoon?



-Yeah, sure.

-Okay.

Yeah, I'll be there.

Did you see this article? The rhinoceros is practically extinct

and it's still hunted for sport.

Hunting, the only sport where your opponent doesn't know it's playing.



-[sighs]

-Well, that's it for today.

Are we on for Monday night?

Oh, I can't. I promised Jess I'd go over our lines.

Lines for what?

Didn't I tell you? Jess and I are going to be in a commercial.



-You are?

-It was Jess' idea.

We read through it once and the director gave us the job on the spot.

Actually, I'm kind of excited about it.

Congratulations. What's it for?

Double Vision Cosmetics.

You're kidding, right?

No. Why?

Liz, Double Vision tests their cosmetics on animals.

They've bee singled out as one of the worst animal rights violators in the country.

Really?

It's awful, Liz. Their testing policy is cruel and inhumane.

In fact, we're protesting there next week.

I had no idea.



-Hey!

-What's up? How are you doing?

Hey, we're going, uh, we're going bungee jumping up at Mesa. Wanna come?



-Oh, bungee jumping, awesome!

-Yeah.

I... Oh, I can't.

Aw. What's the matter? Are you afraid of heights?

No, no. I've just got some other things I've got to do.

[groans] What could be more exciting than bungee jumping, man?

Well, I mean, you know, I've got a...

[mumbling]

What?

Well, you know, I've... I'm gonna go, um,

fly model airplanes with, uh, Winston.

[all laughing]

No, I'm serious.

Come on. You're not really gonna go fly kites with that dork

when you could go bungee jumping with us?



-Well

-

-

-Model planes, Wilkins?

God! Ugh. Look, you might as well be playing with dolls. Come on!

Yeah, man. Don't be a wimp. Come on!

Okay, I'm in. Let's go.



-Yeah.

-All right, Wilkins. Come on.



-And she said that?

-Yeah. Well, you know...

[chatter]

♪ They'll think they've got ♪

♪ Double Vision ♪

Liz, do you think that there are Oscars for commercials?

'Cause you might want to get a head start on our acceptance speech.

Jess, we need to talk.

You know, if your career doesn't take off,

you can work as my body double.

I'm not gonna do it.

You're not gonna do what?

I found out Double Vision tests

their makeup on animals.

I can't do the commercial.

Liz, how could you do this to me?

Do you know how cruel it is to test makeup on animals?

Why? There are tons of ugly animals in nature.

Jess, a lot of the animals they use for testing end up blind or dead.

I'm sorry, but I have to do what's right.

What's right is to help me become famous.

There are more important things than being famous.

Take that back.

Maybe we can do a commercial for a company that isn't so unethical.

Oh, or maybe I can go looking for a date in nerd gulch.

I'm sorry, Jess. I've made up my mind.

Well, you can throw away your chance at fame, fortune and movies of the week,

but you're not going to throw away mine.

[sighs]

As they say in the glamorous world of commercials,

the show must go on.

I just don't understand.

Todd and I have gone to the Model Plane Expo

for eight years in a row.

And this year he's a no

-show.

Winston, Todd's your best friend.

I'm sure if he missed it, he had a really good reason.

I mean, bungee jumping was amazing!

At first, you go down. And then, you go up.

[all] And then, you go down. And then, you go up.

And then, down.

And it's better than

flying planes with windbag, huh?

Yeah.

Check this out. Who am I?

You guys are gonna have to pay for those fries. [laughing]

Tuesday's special is Meatloaf Mountain.

No, no, it's like this. Um... [clears throat]

The Kitty Hawk Flyer is sailing better than ever.



-[all laughing]

-The Kitty Hawk Fly...

Sir, there are a bunch of protesters outside.

Again? They were at my Chock

-full of Dolphin Tuna commercial last week.

The whiners.

You two, take your places. Let's get started.

Now, remember, you're Liz Wakefield not Lila Fowler,

so pretend to be nice.

And that wig looks so cheesy.

I can't believe you wouldn't dye your hair.

I would never dye my hair.



-Please.

-Well not blonde.

Don't frown like that. Liz never frowns.

Jessica, you're starting to get on my nerves.

Ugh. Liz's voice has a soothing quality.

Yours is so harsh and grating.

And, boo, Casper.

Do the words "tanning bed" mean anything to you?

That's it.

Jessica!

Where's your sister?

Um, this is my more talented sister, Lila.

She can apply makeup and talk on her cellphone at the same time.

Show 'em, Lila.

I'm outie.



-Ugh.

-Wait, I can call my other sister, Renata.

Bring on the backups.



-Aw.

-That's more like it.

Take your places, ladies.

All right, everyone. Let's go.

Hey, Winston.

Hey.

Yeah, I'm sorry about what happened in the hallway the other day.

I was just kiddin' around.

Right.

I... I was really psyched for the... model plane show,



-but

-

-

-Forget it, Todd.

You were right. We're too old for that stuff anyway.

So, everything's cool with us?

Come on, Wilkins. Let's bail.

Yeah, everything's cool.

All right. I'll get you later.

Wilkins, come on.

Sure, Todd.

Winston, what are you doing? That's your Kitty Hawk Flyer.

Who cares? I'm through with model planes.

But you and Todd...

Todd and I are history.

Come on, Winston. Don't say that.

You know, it's funny. Back when Todd first moved here,

people used to call him Todd "The Clod" Wilkins

No one would even sit by him in the cafeteria.

Until I did.

I forgot all about that.

I guess he did, too.

[protestors] Double Vision's double cruel!

[Jess] I haven't finished my performance yet.

Don't you know anything about special effects?

I can play both parts.

Wait. [crying]

[chanting] Double Vision's double cruel!

[chanting continues]

Just so you know, you are no longer my sister,

and you're not my friend.

Come on, Jess. I'm just trying to do something I believe in.

So was I. But thanks to you,

I've been dropped from the commercial.

If that's not cruel and unusual punishment,

I don't know what is.

Double Vision's double cruel! Double Vision's double cruel!

Todd, did I ever tell you about that guy I know

who forgot where he came from?

I think so. Uh, your Uncle Sal had amnesia and

-

-

No, this guy was at Sweet Valley.

Once he became the big man on campus,

he forgot who his oldest friend was.

Ah, what a jerk.

Maybe I should talk to him. Who is he?

He's you, Todd.



-What?

-You're the jerk.

The way you're treating Winston,

acting like you're too cool for him.

Hey, that's crazy! Things are just different now.

You know, I've got some new buds, that's all.

I know you've got some new friends, Todd.

I just hope you remember who was there for you

back when you were Todd "The Clod."

I got that in.

Hey, eggnog.

[all laugh]

My fries have fallen and they can't get up.

[Winston] You guys are gonna have to leave.

[laughing]

Yeah, I'm serious. Leave.

Who's gonna make us?

I am.

Hey, Todd. Just having some fun with Winnebago here.

His name's Winston.

Why are you sticking up for him, man?

Why?

'Cause he's always been there for me.

When I fell off my bike in fifth grade and broke my ankle,

Winston carried me home even though I was twice his size.

He even stuck by me through my break dancing period at Sweet Valley Elementary.

Where were you?

We went to Franklin.

Winston was my friend back then

and he's my friend now.

If you have a problem with that,

maybe you guys should take off.

Okay, let's pick 'em up.

[Winston] Thanks, Todd.

I'm sorry I haven't been much of a friend lately.

How can I make it up to you?

Well, you could teach me how to break dance.

Oh, sure. We'll start with the robot.

[making robot noises]

[chuckles] Todd, I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

[chuckles]

Hey, Jess.

Oh, I get it.

You're giving me the silent treatment again, aren't you?

That's right, I am.

Quit trying to trick me.

Well, I've got something to show you, I think you'll like.

We made the front page!

Okay.

I also heard yesterday's protest is going to be on the : news.

[female reporter] Sweet Valley was the sight of the demonstration

against Double Vision Cosmetics yesterday.

Here, two activists protest Double Vision's policy

of testing makeup on animals.

If that's not cruel and unusual punishment, I don't know what is.

Well, you got on TV just like you wanted.

And you looked really cute.

I did, didn't I?

Jess, I'm sorry about the commercial.

You're sorry?

Now I'll never get discovered and star

on TV movies with Tori Spelling.

[sighs]

[Jess exhales]

Welcome to the international world premiere of my new commercial.

There you go.

Hello? We're passing out programs here.

I'm not paying you to stand around and look mediocre.

You're not paying us at all.

If you want to get to the top, you have to start at the bottom.

Ah, my public awaits.

I'm so psyched to see your commercial.

So, you just sent in footage of the protest

and Nirvana Cosmetics gave you the commercial?

They called us the next day.

That was a good idea, sending it to Double Vision's biggest competitor.

So how psyched is Jessica?

How psyched do you think she is?

[Jess] So they begged us to tryout for their commercial.

Come on, let's go.

And the minute I heard Double Vision Cosmetics

test on animals,

I walked.

Because I love animals.

Except snakes and mice.

I'm not crazy about monkeys.

Ugh! Birds are like

-

-



-Down, in front.

-Turn it on.



-[chattering]

-I can't wait.

At Nirvana Cosmetics, we don't test our makeup on animals.

We test it on boys.

Looks like it works.

Coming to a store near you.

[male voice] Nirvana cosmetics, taking beauty to a higher level.



-All right.

-That was so cute.



-[all cheering and applauding]

-That was excellent.

Thanks for making this happen, Liz.

So, am I a good sister or what?

Yeah, but you're an even better friend.

Hey! Watch the hair!

[all laughing]

♪ Look right down any crowded hall ♪

♪ You'll see there's a beauty standing ♪

♪ Is she really everywhere or a reflection? ♪

♪ Sweet Valley, Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you at Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Sweet Valley, Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you at Sweet Valley High ♪
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