Marry F*** k*ll (2023)

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Marry F*** k*ll (2023)

Post by bunniefuu »

Bind, bed,

bury. What is thy will?

Love has all the power,

lust will devour,

and the heart can

never be still.

Bind, bed, bury,

Grant Feigen I will.

Love does devour,

lust grabs all the power

and my heart can never be still.

Deyan anay tasa Asmodeus.

Deyan anay tasa Asmodeus.

Deyan anay tasa Asmodeus.

Welcome to sh*thole,

population... who gives a f*ck?

It's a bus stop, Vickie.

What were you hoping for?

Uh... a drug dealer,

a sexy guy up to no good,

I mean, I'm not picky.

You know, the bus

station of a town

tells you a lot about a place.

Oh, yeah? Well, what's

this one telling you?

-That people die here. -Vickie!

- That's in really bad taste.

- Of boredom, Helen!

They die of nothing but boredom.

Well, I had cell

service, but now... nada.

Beth's aunt said

she'd meet us here.

Yeah, I'm not exactly

worried about getting lost.

- What are you doing?

- Planning my escape.

Who would expect anything

different from the inventor

of the Double Dutch Exit?

Two middle fingers to the back

of their head and I'm gone.

You guys lost? Is there someone

here I can direct you to?

Uh, yeah. We're looking

for the, uh... Gref House?

Ooh. What you want

with the Gref House?

Nothing good

happening over there.

Well, our friend

Beth lived there.

Oh. The funeral.

Yeah, sorry to hear that.

Well, best get in and out

of town as fast as you can.

I try and keep things

copacetic around here,

but some folks

ain't so friendly.

Thanks for the

heads up, Officer...

- Jack. You can call me Jack.

- Jack.

You want to head down that way.

You hang a left at the house

with the sycamore tree.

It's got a sign out front,

makes it clear as day.

Do I know you, son?

-Can't see how. -Okay.

Well, have a great day.

My condolences

about your friend.

-That was weird. -Yup.

Beth lived here?

I mean, it could

use a new coat of paint.

And possibly

an exorcism.

But the bones look

good, and I love an old house.

I hope you mean

bones metaphorically.

Hmm. Yeah, do I?

-Hmm. -Let's go explore.

Don't chicken out. You owe Beth.

I know.

Welcome! Welcome.

- I'm sorry I didn't meet you.

- No problem.

I was getting the

house ready for you,

and I just lost

all track of time.

-Simon. -Hi. Yeah.

Yeah. Beth always told me

you were a fashion plate.

My condolences on the

loss of your friend.

Thank you.

-Aww. -Thank you.

- And to you too.

- Yeah. Thank you.

Come here.

Thank you for taking us in.

We're really going to miss her.

I owe it to Beth.

Beth was supposed to

attend my funeral,

not the other way around.

Look at me, trapping

you on the verandah.

Come in. Come in.

Whoa.

Thanks for suggesting

we stay here, Stephanie.

But if it's too much,

we could get a hotel.

- No bother at all.

- No, no, no. Don't be silly.

You should stay here

to be close to Beth.

It'd be what she wanted.

Besides, Cedar Grove isn't

the most welcoming of places.

Yeah, you're the second

person to tell us that today.

Old town, afraid of the new.

But you're only staying a

couple of nights, right?

Just long enough to

pay your respects,

and then scoot back

to your regular lives.

I mean, sure. After the reading

of Beth's will, of course.

She mentioned you in her will?

According to her lawyer, yeah.

Yeah, he reached

out to all of us.

That's how we found

out that Beth had...

Is that a problem?

-No. Just a surprise. -Right.

Uh, well, I'm... I'm sure

you all have lots to process,

so... before I go, though...

a little present.

My garden grows on

the intersection

of two important ley lines.

They're conduits

of the supernatural

and earthly energies.

My plants do some...

strange things.

So I warn you, a

little goes a long way.

- Thank you. Yeah. So much.

- Oh. Yeah. Mmhm.

Hey... It'd warm her

heart, you being here.

She spoke about you most of all.

Her one true love.

You're in touch

with the universe.

Ugh. This place

gives me the ick.

Uh, if you were serious,

there is a motel in town.

-Ugh! -What?

Vickie's not the only one that

gets to have an escape plan.

We'll be fine in this

house for a couple of days.

It'll be good for us.

Um, sharing a bed?

With someone I'm

also not f*cking?

Yeah, hard pass.

Well, I'm

not sleeping alone.

I'm happy to bunk with Helen.

And someone can crash in here.

- Oh. - What?

It's Beth's bedroom.

You don't think Beth

did it in here, do you?

- I don't know.

- I didn't want to ask.

My God, it's so Beth

in here, you know?

Yeah.

Even after not seeing her for

so long, it's like I can...

sense her.

Heh. Not depressing at all.

There are so many

photos of us here.

Hmm. She looks so happy.

No one puts up

sad photos of themselves.

I should've stayed in touch.

I mean, I sent a

couple of texts, but...

I wanted to visit her,

but she wouldn't let me.

Yeah, she called and...

asked to meet me

in person, but I...

I blew her off.

What did she want to talk about?

I don't know. I never gave

her the chance to tell me.

Still, she didn't give

you any indication

that she was gonna... you know?

We were on the phone

for, like, five minutes.

I would've done

something if she had.

- These are from you.

- Yeah. From way back.

This makes no

sense. Beth hated us.

- Not all of us.

- You know what I mean.

After that night, after

she walked in on...

and then walked

out on all of us.

And then, years later,

she comes back here,

builds this shrine

to our friendship,

and then, somehow, sweetly

leaves us in her will?

It's a fair question.

It was probably the last time

she was legitimately happy.

Yeah. I'll take the couch.

Ooh. I got dibs on the

big one downstairs.

Fine. The bathtub.

Anywhere but here.

You okay to sleep

in here, Helen?

- Yeah. - I'll get my bag.

-Sorry. -No. It's okay.

-What? -Marry, f*ck, k*ll.

Oh, my God, Beth. Come on.

Not that stupid

game again, please.

Marry me...

and I'll f*ck you.

And then what? Someone

dies? No, thanks.

We can f*ck just fine

without anyone dying.

But marry.

Call me old-fashioned, Grant,

I just...

I want to wait, okay?

Okay.

f*ck this sh*t.

Cedar Grove might

be weird as f*ck,

but they make a good pie.

What was that game we always

used to play at pizza nights?

Mm... f*ck all your friends?

- Before that.

- Marry, f*ck, k*ll.

-Oh. -Right.

- Ding, ding, ding.

- Beth was obsessed with it.

You know, she told

me once it had roots

in some old Wiccan spell.

Come on. It's a

mean and silly game.

- How could it be a spell?

- Was it that the...

the repetition of

marry, f*ck, k*ll,

marry, f*ck, k*ll, it...

summons something

from the other side?

No, no, no. That's Bloody Mary.

You say it three

times and she appears.

Bloody Mary, Bloody

Mary, Bloody Mary.

Oh, no, no, no, I remember

the original spell was

bed, bind, bury.

And it was both a

love and a hate spell.

Love and hate. Boring. But

bed, now that I can get into.

- You're so predictable.

- Helen, you're up.

-Oh. -Marry, f*ck, k*ll.

-Hmm. -No thinking, just say it.

Okay. Marry Simon.

-I'm honoured. -Um...

f*ck Paige.

And k*ll... Grant.

-Oh. -Ooh.

- Simon, you're up.

- Ah, bah-bah-bah.

- f*ck Grant. - Obvious.

-Marry Helen. -Yes, please!

Mmhm. And k*ll Grant.

Yikes! - Sorry.

-Vickie, you're up. -Vickie?

Um... Hmm.

- Well, I think I'd marry Helen.

- Thank you!

- Cute.

- f*ck... probably myself.

- Yeah. I see that for you.

- Wow. Classy.

- And I would so k*ll Grant.

- Wow!

- Three kills for Grant!

- Ouch.

Uh, Paige?

Um...

-I'd marry Simon. -Obviously.

-f*ck Helen. -Mm!

And, sorry, yeah, Grant.

- k*ll, k*ll. -

Wild how those

votes have changed.

Yeah, I'm so surprised everyone

wants to marry Mr. Moneybags.

Well, I'd like to think it's

a little more than just that.

Wait. Simon chose to

f*ck and to k*ll Grant.

I mean, he's the only one

here with a penis, so.

He's my one f*ck wonder.

Wait, you're saying

it was a technicality?

Yeah.

Wow. Sorry, Grant.

You used to be on

top, but now...

How the mighty have fallen!

I guess it is

true what they say.

Familiarity breeds contempt. Mm?

Yeah, I mean... I think

the contempt we feel is

more around you

breaking Beth's heart.

That's why we're

all here, right?

Pretty sure it

was you and Vickie

who got everyone f*cked up,

which led to a DL sex party.

Mm, yeah, one that you were

more than welcome to join in on.

-True. -This isn't a joke.

Beth had a nervous breakdown,

and when she was finally

allowed to come home

and lick her wounds, she

slit her f*cking throat.

- Y'all have a good night.

- Grant.

We were Beth's entire world,

so imagine the betrayal

she must have felt

walking in on all of you.

Paige, stop!

Some people change, okay?

And some people stay

exactly the same.

Like you, Paige.

You're still a judgmental bitch.

You okay?

- Been better. -

You're no worse than any of us.

It feels like I'm worse. Heh.

Or doing worse, I guess.

What I did to Beth...

I don't know.

I just can't escape

remembering it,

being in this house,

around all of them.

Forget them. Forget Beth.

Forget where we are.

-Okay? -Okay.

Don't mind me.

You just look so

perfect, sitting there.

Hey, about what I

said back there...

- I'm sorry.

- Oh, don't be. You're right.

It wasn't just Grant's fault.

We all screwed over Beth

by sleeping with him.

Well... except you.

- You're an angel. -

Don't believe me?

Look.

What are all those?

Um... I d...

Maybe my lens is dirty?

No.

- Maybe they were ghosts.

- Oh, you!

Can I say something that I'm...

probably gonna kick

myself for saying

as soon as I sober up?

Please. Join the club.

I have a lot of regrets

about that night.

Including one very, um...

selfish one.

Oh, yeah? What?

That you weren't there.

-Wow. -Wow.

Well, that was a

blast from the past.

Yeah, that was, uh, hot.

God. I

should feel guilty.

-Hmm? -But... nope. Nada.

Carpe diem, Beth.

And I only took Latin for,

like, a month in high school,

so that might be a little

less sex related than I think.

-Hey. -You called me Beth.

Come on. Don't be

ridiculous right now.

It was a mistake, all right?

It was an accident, Vickie.

Oh, way to go. You got my

name in only two guesses.

- Come back to bed. Okay, Vickie?

- Not really, no.

- You're a so-so f*ck at best.

- Oh, wow. Thanks.

Whatever. I'm over

it, and I'm splitting.

Okay. Where

are you gonna go?

You can't just sleep in the tub.

No, idiot. I'm leaving.

I'm leaving.

The last bus for the

city leaves in an hour.

I'll be on it by the time you're

washing your sad little d*ck.

f*ckin' loser.

f*cking kidding me.

Creepy as f*ck.

If this is a joke, it

isn't f*cking funny.

Who leaves in the

night without saying goodbye?

Vickie does.

I'm sure she gave us all

silent middle fingers.

She couldn't have waited eight

hours to bury her friend?

I mean, the reading of the

will alone should've kept her.

It's what Vickie does.

She'll probably ask us to

email her all the details.

It's not like she

wanted to be here.

Nobody wants to be here.

But it's the right thing to do.

The respectful thing.

Funerals are extra hard

for people like us.

People like us?

I'm an empath.

You know, those with the gift.

- "Stephanie's Second Sight."

- Just down the road, in town.

You have the sight too.

You're not yet in a clear

relationship with your powers.

Powers? I don't have any powers.

You don't feel

things? See things?

When Beth went off to

college and met all of you,

she thought she'd

finally escaped.

I did too.

Escaped from what?

The Grefs aren't

just any old family.

We have a storied lineage,

one that's been ripped apart

by tragedy for generations.

My brother disowned me

for standing by my niece.

I failed her, but I

will not fail you.

You're susceptible to the

dark arts, like she was.

When the funeral is over,

escape while you still can and

promise never to come back.

Everything okay?

Yes.

We were just saying how...

peaceful she looks.

Yes, she really does.

Remember what I told you.

What was all that about?

Some bullshit about

a family curse

and me having psychic powers.

- What?

- And that we need to leave.

Ah, yes, which very conveniently

gets us out of town right

before Beth's will is read.

I don't know. She seemed

legit concerned, okay?

Did you see her reaction when

she found out about Beth's will?

Stephanie is playing you, Grant.

Let's sit down.

-Yeah. -Yeah.

We've

mourned Beth's death.

I think it's time...

we celebrate her life.

Couldn't hurt.

Agreed. Anything to

make this better.

-Paige? -Weed fucks me up.

Yeah. It's supposed to.

More for us.

Paige, you are missing

out, let me tell you.

No, I'm really not.

You guys remember that time you

convinced Beth to do 'shrooms?

-Oh, God. Yeah. -Whoa.

She tripped super

hard, didn't she?

She was really into UFOs then.

She drove me nuts with all

that little green men sh*t.

She used to stand in

our dorm room window,

praying to be abducted.

You remember when we convinced

her that we were the aliens?

When we covered the common

room in foil and made it look

like a medical experiment

room on a space ship!

Yeah, and she kept

asking to be probed.

She did not understand

why that was so funny.

No, she could not figure it out.

Oh, God.

"Probe me!"

She could not...

What?

f*ck.

Jesus! What the f*ck?

What are you doing up here?

Me? What are you doing up here?

I followed you to make

sure you were all right.

- You're high as a kite.

- Yeah, I...

I don't know. I... just

thought I saw something.

Like what?

Nothing. Just forget

about it, okay?

You're not acting like it was

nothing. What'd you see, Grant?

Not what... who.

It looked like it

was Beth, okay?

I know what you're gonna say,

it's the dr*gs and I'm stupid.

No. No, it's not stupid to me.

You two had something flawed

but special, and this place...

it's like I can feel

Beth everywhere, like...

like she wants us to know

something... some secret?

This house is like

a shrine to her.

Glad I'm not the only one.

Yeah, it's not easy.

None of this is.

At least we have

each other, right?

Yeah.

Whoa! What are you doing?

sh*t. Uh... I'm

super high right now.

-Sorry. It's... -So?!

High, not high, this

you all the time.

And you know...

the only reason you

wanna get with me is

because I'm the only

one who won't let you.

Hasn't your d*ck

caused enough problems?

Okay, but I am not

nearly as fancy as you.

No, but you did win the Most

Promising New Artist Award.

- I saw it online.

- It was not that big of a deal.

It was a huge deal.

Compared to

you, Mr. Junior Partner?

We're both doing great. Okay?

Yeah, but we're both

not making six figures.

Yeah, you're right

about that one for sure.

What do

you make in a year?

A lot.

Not getting in on the

cheque-measuring brag-a-thon?

Beth?

Am I...

How are you...

It's all right. Calm down.

Am I here or am I

on the other side?

Or am I just a figment of

your drugged-up imagination?

Does it matter?

All that matters is you're far

more than any of our friends.

A true original.

Your thoughts and

emotions run deep.

They always have.

Come, gaze at the moon with me.

Every group has a

charismatic centre.

And it sure as hell isn't

any of those duds in there.

Nope.

Not even close.

Well, look at them all trying

to impress each other still.

"I'm an important artist."

"I make six figures

in my designer suit."

Anybody who really matters...

doesn't give a sh*t

about any of that stuff.

Like you.

You can just... be

in your power.

But when you have

power like yours...

you have to be careful who

you wanna share it with.

You can't just

unleash it to anyone.

They have to be able to take it.

I can take it, Grant.

I can take it all.

I thought you said you wanted

to wait until you got married.

Shh.

Forget what I said before.

Give it to me.

Now.

- Oh... - Yes.

Give it to me.

Give it to me.

Give it to me!

What the f*ck...

-Milk? -Yes, please. Thank you.

-Mmhm. -Wow! It's alive.

We were wondering

when you'd show up.

We couldn't find you anywhere.

Yeah. I, uh...

crashed outside last night.

Ooh. Braver than me.

Yeah.

I'm pretty wrecked,

though. You guys?

That pot is pretty potent.

But I don't think

anything's potent enough

to have me out sleeping

under the stars,

hanging a wang for

the neighbours.

Don't do that.

Someone woke up on the

wrong side of the bed.

Huh. Yeah.

Seriously. What's going on?

Um...

I, uh...

I saw Beth last night.

Yeah. And I didn't just see her.

We... talked, we...

I've seen things on pot before.

This was more than just

seeing things, okay?

You're letting that crackpot

Stephanie get to you.

There's no such

thing as ghosts or spells

or family curses.

Oh, yeah? Then how

do you explain this?

And this isn't

the first one, either.

I keep getting these

apparitions on my pictures

and it only started when

we got to Cedar Grove.

It's called a coincidence.

You're so g*dd*mn sure

of yourself, aren't you?

In this instance, yes.

We're born, we die,

and we try to f*ck

as much as we can in

between, and that's it.

Wow. Thank you so much for your

TED Talk on the meaning of life.

You guys know I'm right!

People always worry about

this meaning of life bullshit.

Well, it's... it's simple.

You just get what you want now.

And that's what made

you so successful?

Being ruthless, grabbing

what you want by the balls?

Oh, yeah, what, as opposed

to dropping out of college

after one stupid mistake?

Okay, okay. We don't need

a testosterone-off, boys.

But I do need you all to eat up.

The lawyer will be here soon.

Beth Gref, having no

siblings or issue,

has left the entirety of

her estate to those present.

I will now read the will.

"For her friendship, help

and unwavering support,"

"I leave the land at

Feragun Creek to my aunt,"

"Stephanie Gref."

Too kind. Far too kind.

"And all of my remaining assets,

both liquid and otherwise,"

"including Gref House and

everything inside it,"

"I leave to those who I

hope will live the rest"

-"Paige Ludlow..." -What?

"Helen Ellison,

Simon Carpenter,"

"Vickie Kavanagh

and Grant Feigen."

"May my house and the beds

in it bind you all together"

"and bury the troubles

that once tore us apart."

This can't be right.

I assure you, it

was Beth's wish.

She made these

changes weeks ago.

How dare she leave

me some crappy old creek bed

and everything else to them?

Okay.

You stay here...

and Beth has signed

your death warrants.

It'll take a few days for

the paperwork to go through,

but for all intents and

purposes, welcome...

to your new home.

Thanks.

Holy sh*t.

No signal. Again.

She's okay, right?

This small-fry town

having no cell service

has nothing to do with Vickie.

Still, it's weird,

her just leaving

in the middle of

the night like that.

Have you met Vickie?

Sure, but... what if she

wants to sell the house?

- What do we do then?

- We don't have to keep it.

We could... buff it up,

slap some new paint on it.

I don't know. I never

thought I'd own a house.

Grant. You're awfully quiet.

Uh... Yeah, I guess I could

do with starting over too.

Not that it did Beth any good.

Well, we don't have

to decide tonight.

I mean, we can't until we get

in touch with Vickie anyway.

Something tells me we haven't

heard the last of Stephanie.

Yeah.

I bet she thought all this

would end up going to her.

So expect more "run for

your lives" mumbo jumbo.

Beth left us this

house and its contents.

- People like antiques.

- Yeah, I like antiques.

But, uh, most of this

crap is pretty run down.

Unless all the good stuff's

locked away somewhere.

It's not the easiest kind

of lock to pick, but...

I might be able to pull it off.

Would a coat hanger work?

-Mm. -You pick locks now?

Somebody took a dark

turn after college.

Whatever.

Oh, Jesus! Jesus!

What is it?!

I just saw someone in there.

And they were looking

right back at me.

You saw someone in there?

Yeah, 'cause he smoked

more of Stephanie's weed.

No, Simon. I didn't.

Whatever. Okay.

Whoa...

Oh, wow.

Guys, this is, like...

like, real silver.

Not just silver-plated.

Think Beth knew

all this was in here?

I'm guessing yes, and

that she wanted all of us,

or at least me, to have it.

Ha! Some of this

stuff... super creepy.

Hey, what is that?

Looks like some

sort of witch book.

Oh, sh*t.

"The Gref family."

"One of the original families."

"Descended from the

necronomical sect"

"of Asmodeus."

"The Gref founded the

Dark Tern in 1432"

"and are said to be the

pre-eminent practitioners"

"of Soot, the long-lost art"

"of demonic jurisdiction."

Okay. What the f*ck is

a "necronomical sect"?

Ooh, necro's never good.

Super deathy.

I vote we sell this house.

Yeah, let's sell it as fast as

we can and get the hell out.

It's the house... from

way back when. Look.

"Abigail Gref left Prussia

and built a new homestead"

"in Cedar Grove,"

"at the intersection of

two particular ley lines."

- Are you kidding me, man?

- This witch sh*t is getting old.

Holy sh*t.

Grant, it's you.

Hey, it must be a

weird coincidence.

Coincidence?! That

looks exactly like him!

This... this house must be built

on one of those ley line things.

Maybe that's why my

camera's been acting up.

Give me a break!

If we weren't all in this

creepy ass house right now,

we'd all be laughing.

I

need some air. Yeah.

So? What happened back there?

Uh, well...

there's a photo that

looks exactly like me

in some... f*cked-up

book that we found

in a room full of occult stuff

in the house where

Beth k*lled herself.

Do you think I should be

acting any different right now?

Well, the Grant I knew wouldn't

be having trouble breathing

over a photo.

Hey. It's just a book.

And you don't even look

all that much alike.

Not really.

Your noses are different.

Oh, there's a crease in his

forehead you don't have.

And most importantly,

this photo is over

100 years old.

And it was taken in Ireland.

Beth's family was from Germany.

Uh, he's not related to Beth.

Different family entirely.

His surname was...

Faodhagain.

No connection to Beth at all.

It's a fluke. Nothing else.

Yeah. Uh...

Sorry I was so, uh...

dramatic back there.

Actually, watching cool-ass

you finally lose your sh*t

like the rest of

us this weekend?

It was kind of a relief.

If one of you assholes

is about to run in here

and pour a bucket

of ice water on me,

just know there

will be hell to pay.

Seriously, is someone there?

'Cause this sh*t isn't funny.

Jesus.

Get a f*cking grip, buddy.

Simon?

- Simon?

- Was that one of you f*ckers?!

-What? -Pulling me under!

I don't understand. You think

one of us pulled you under?

Without you seeing us?

f*ck.

You were saying?

You scared the sh*t

out of us, man.

I... I swear,

something grabbed me.

Lay off the weed, bro.

Okay. You heard that, right?

Yeah... and it's

not the first time.

What is it?

If I'm gonna get

any sleep tonight,

I need to find out.

Creepy!

What, were you hoping for a spa?

It's an attic.

Creepy and cobwebs

are guaranteed.

I hate you.

-After you. -Mm-mm.

-You first. -Oh, fine.

Oh, boy.

So... what exactly are

we looking for here?

A mystical rat from

the fifth dimension.

Look what we have here.

Weird.

- You wanna hold this for me?

- Yeah.

What...

-Oh, boy. -Watch out.

Bet you there's

a nest up there.

Or maybe even Rat King.

-Yeah. -Yeah.

Oh, my God! -

Why is there a

giant collection of bones

locked away in the attic?

I swear to God, if these

things are f*cking human...

Um... Yeah, these...

- These look human to me.

- Oh, God.

This is part of a human skull.

And...

Huh. Interesting.

This isn't human.

You're okay with this?!

That looks demonic!

This is all probably just

from a goat or something.

- Somehow, that makes it worse.

- Yeah.

It's like a f*cking

sacrifice or something.

Yeah, like something Satanic.

Human bones, goat bones mixed

together. Oh, God. Um...

- We need to tell the police.

- About what?

A m*rder that happened

a century ago?

You don't know that.

You don't wanna

have to admit it,

but you know something's

happened here.

Okay, sure. Listen.

There's lots of bones.

Some human, some not.

It's... it's very weird,

but also very real things.

All right? Go ahead.

Call the police, I guess.

- He's got a point, Helen.

- Thank you.

With the dust and the

cobwebs, whoever this is

was placed in here

a long time ago.

It doesn't matter

when it happened!

- Who would do this and why?

- Okay.

- Well, what do we do now?

- We get the f*ck out is what!

- Yeah.

- The last bus left an hour ago.

And we're in the land

that Uber forgot.

- And cell service, so.

- There's a hotel in town.

- It's a motel.

- I don't care if it's a hostel.

Anywhere is better than this.

Yeah.

Are you f*cking kidding me?

- Okay, what do we do now?

- Walk? Hitchhike?

Just get the hell out of here.

We can't walk the

whole way home, Helen.

Who knows? Maybe the town

jail's got some comfy beds.

I thought you guys

would be gone by now.

We wanna be, Officer.

We're looking for a

place to stay the night.

Well, there's no room at

the town's only major.

-Bad luck. -No.

They turned on the "No

Vacancy" sign when they saw us.

Well, I told you what to expect.

Please, we are

desperate here, Officer.

Desperate? I heard you kids

just inherited a whole house.

Well, you're not the first who

couldn't stomach that place,

but best get back

and tough it out

before some of the less friendly

folks let the hounds out.

Okay, I am so tired of this town

and its assh*le inhabitants.

Let's just... do what he said

and go back to the Hell House.

- Do we have to?

- Beats sleeping on the street.

Why don't you guys go back

and try and get some sleep?

- While you do what?

- I'm gonna get us some answers.

Grant, come on. We

should stick together.

I'll be fine. Trust me.

I've been expecting you.

I don't want to

go back in there.

Hey, you'll be fine. I promise.

What was that?

It's Vickie's

phone. It's smashed!

Explains why she hasn't

been answering our calls.

She probably just

dropped it or something.

And then stomped on it?

Vickie's crazy, but

she's not that crazy.

Why are you so resistant to

everything that's happening?

I'm not. I just wanna sleep,

wake up and get out of here.

It's not just me, right?

No. No, it's not just you.

If Beth k*lled

herself, it wasn't

because I broke her heart.

- At least, not entirely.

- Then what was it?

That house! I mean, this town...

There is something...

wrong here.

Something evil.

You see, you do feel things.

The answers you seek in the

present lie in the past.

You need a crash course

in the Gref family.

Oh, yeah? Well...

I'd say I've got a

pretty good idea already.

So you do.

May I?

It all starts with Abigail Gref,

the hateful monster

who built this house

a century ago as a place

to practise her dark arts.

Jesus.

-That's me and Beth. -No.

That's Dillon Faodhagain

and Abigail Gref.

No. Screw this! This is...

This is just some

cruel, f*cked up joke

by my so-called

friends, isn't it?

Helen's already been messing

with the pictures and...

- No, this has got to be them.

- It's not. I swear.

Now do you see why it's

not safe to be here?

You're his latest incarnation.

Abigail Gref and Dillon

Faodhagain are pawns

for the demonic underworld.

Vessels.

And their twisted

fornication, it is told,

begat the one who denies

the Father and the Son,

the Little Horn, the

Beast of the Sea.

What the hell are

you talking about?

They were m*rder*d

to protect the world.

But now, Dillon and Abigail

have returned in the form

of you and Beth so that the

Antichrist can be born...

The Antichrist?!

What are you talking about?

That sh*t isn't real.

-And Beth is dead. -For now.

Nothing need be forever.

Hey.

I know Simon wants to

explain it all away, but...

Vickie's phone is a bad sign!

We should... we should

call the police.

Do it if you want, but I have

a feeling they're gonna tell us

to wait the 48 hours.

Hey, I'm with you about

everything that's happening,

but the way Vickie lives

her life, she could show up

happy, high and giving

us the finger in 48 days.

Oh, I miss the city.

The glow, the noise,

cell reception.

This place, it's...

pitch black.

Silent like... death.

Part of me wishes

we'd never come.

- Uh, I'm sorry. I...

- I'm sorry. No, it's fine.

I get it. I get it.

I think Grant's back.

Like I've been telling

you, Aunt Stephanie,

she drives Beth to su1c1de,

now she's trying to scare

the sh*t out of you,

out of all of us,

hell, maybe she even put

the bones in the closet

up in the attic, all so

we return to the city

and never come back, and

she inherits everything.

Or... maybe it's real.

Some weird sh*t's

been happening, and...

you can blame Aunt Stephanie

and her weed all you want,

but even my g*dd*mn

camera's been acting up.

Jesus Christ.

And you are either way more

scared than the rest of us

so you're searching for

rational explanations,

or you're trying

to f*ck with us.

Seriously, Helen?

You think I'm doing all of

this just to get sole custody

of some... some crappy

house in a broke-ass town?

You were the one who jumped

at the idea of selling it.

I don't know, maybe

you need the money.

I've been being

modest. I'm loaded.

All right? -

My share of this place

would just be pocket change.

Okay, so to get

back at us, then.

Guys! Guys, I'm so over this.

Now, I'm gonna go smoke

this kickass weed,

conk out, and then get my ass

out of town in the morning.

And then, I'm going to go

join Vickie and press eject

on this f*cked-up little

paranoid friend group of ours.

And if you have any sense,

you will do the same.

Payback is a bitch.

Simon, you f*cking

assh*le! Get out!

Call

me the Great Goat Lord.

Heh! And after all the sh*t

you accused me of earlier...

you deserved this.

f*cking jerk.

You're losing

your g*dd*mn mind.

Simon, I will f*ck you up!

Hello, my love.

Hello.

- You're pregnant?

- We are, Dillon.

I'm not Dillon.

And I'm not Beth.

"Marry, f*ck, k*ll."

Why did I come back

here to the Gref House?

Why didn't I just run away

to Italy or Australia

like I always wanted?

College was supposed

to be an escape.

And now, thanks

to Aunt Stephanie,

I've figured out the truth...

what's been hidden

behind those doors

that my parents

wouldn't talk about.

The truth about... me.

About Grant. About our fate.

Which, if you're watching

this, means that...

I couldn't avoid it.

Grant.

I failed.

Now, it's up to you.

Ah, f*ck, Grant!

Oh, as if this house

isn't creepy enough.

- Can you feel her too?

- "Feel" who?

Beth.

Um... No.

No one can. Beth's dead.

Of course, you

wouldn't feel her.

You two were never close.

-Vickie called it. -Called what?

The randomness of

our connections.

In the grand scheme of things,

you could've been really...

anyone.

Dude, are you

sleepwalking right now?

What the f*ck?

Beth.

You're alive.

Thank God.

I'm not Beth.

And

I am not alive...

but that won't stop you and me.

Nothing will.

- Grant?

- No, no, no, no! Hey, hey, hey!

PAIGE! PAIGE!

- Help! Help me!

- Oh, my God! What happened?

sh*t! Come on, quick.

sh*t, sh*t, sh*t. Come on.

- Put him on the table!

- Okay, come on. Come on, Simon.

Come on, buddy. f*ck! f*ck!

Grant, find a clean dish

towel. Soak it under hot water.

We need to apply pressure and

pack the wound. All right.

Stay with us. Come on!

- Hey! Hey, Simon!

- f*ck, dude! Here, here, here!

- Simon?! Simon! Come on!

- Grant. Grant, step back.

-No. -Grant, he's gone.

- SIMON!

- Move back, Grant. Grant!

Is everything okay?

- Who's there?

- I heard screaming.

What...

what happened?

I... I stabbed him...

in... in the chest.

It was an accident.

He's dead.

Are you sure? Maybe

we should call 911...

I tried to stop the bleeding.

It was too late.

It's the family.

This cursed place.

It's never satisfied.

It's never satiated.

- I warned you, all of you!

- Enough!

Our friend is dead.

Helen. HELEN!

-HELEN! -Grant.

Helen! Helen?

- f*ck is the light?! Helen!

- It's here!

Oh, my God.

- Where is she?

- I don't know. I don't know.

-Oh, my God! Oh! -Do you know?

Me? What do you mean?

It feels like you've been

subtly manipulating things

since we got there.

-Am I crazy, Grant? -Nope.

That's the first thing I've

heard that doesn't sound crazy.

You drugged us, put insane

thoughts into Grant's head!

I have been warning you!

With sh*t that's

feeding our paranoia!

Why would I do that?!

So you could get your

hands on this house!

- Oh, my God!

- Maybe you k*lled your niece.

- Beth k*lled herself.

- How the f*ck do we know that?

- 'Cause you told us?

- I'm going home.

-The police... -No, no, no!

Are you the one that's been

creeping around this house?

Was it you up in the attic,

trying to freak us out?

-Get out of my way! -HEY!

-Hey! -Leave me alone!

HEY! You tell us right now what

the f*ck you did to our friends!

I had nothing to do

with any of this.

Asmodeus? No...

No! Oh! - sh*t!

She's... Oh.

Here. Something to

settle both our nerves.

Thank you.

- How did she fall?

- I don't know.

It was all so confusing.

What are we gonna do?

Grant.

No police, okay? Uh...

I have a record.

With Simon and my past...

can we just talk this out first?

-Yeah? -Okay.

That name she called out,

it was like she saw

something... you think she did?

I think it was another

one of her games.

- And this time, it didn't work.

- So this was all Stephanie?

I can't believe I

fell for that sh*t.

We all did, to some extent.

Because of her, I k*lled Simon.

She knew exactly

what she was doing.

It just doesn't make any sense.

Why are you so calm? Hey.

- Did you f*cking call them?

- No, of course not.

Stephanie must have.

Grant.

You just lie there.

And I'll take care

of everything.

-Evening. -Hello, Officer.

-Is there a problem? -Uh, yeah.

I had a call about a

disturbance, some screaming.

Oh. Well, there's been

some carrying on, but...

no, no screaming.

Who called you?

Let me guess,

Stephanie Gref?

Yeah... Well, if you want

to be pressing charges

against anyone, it's her.

My friends have been smoking

Aunt Stephanie's crazy weed.

Oh, jeez. Not the first

time I've had that call.

Where are your friends, anyway?

Oh, well, I actually sent them

all to bed to sleep it off.

I don't imbibe myself,

resident teetotaller,

which they love to

remind me about.

I just want to make sure

no one thinks they can fly

out of a window or, God forbid,

choke on their own vomit.

-Help. -Oh, Grant!

Grant, come over here.

All right. I got you.

There we go. You really

need to sleep this off.

Ever since they made

this sh*t legal,

we've had to deal

with calls like this.

And I've told Stephanie,

her weed is way too strong.

Oh, understatement of the

year! I mean, look at him.

I even

had it tested once.

I thought that there has

to be something else in it.

Yeah, well, as you

can see, no screaming.

And I... I really should

be getting this one to bed.

You're not gonna die, young

man. You're gonna sleep it off.

And you're gonna have a hell of

a story to tell in the morning.

Yeah. You hear that, Grant?

- Thank you. Thank you, Officer.

- Yeah.

Well, we're lucky I

didn't have to k*ll him.

You...

-Why? -Come on, Grant.

It's you and Beth.

All of this is.

Beth... Beth's dead.

The veil between life

and death is diaphanous.

It can be breached.

We will bring your love back.

-Together. -You...

Who are you?

Not who. What.

Asmodeus. Your saviour.

How are you doing

over there, Grant?

Just wondering if you're

gonna k*ll me next.

Of course not.

Then why am I chained up?!

Well, once you get the

importance of your role

through that thick skull

of yours, I'll free you.

But we have bigger

issues to discuss first.

Like what?

Simple. Beth.

Call me old-fashioned,

Grant, I just...

I want to wait. Okay?

Okay.

You wanted Beth.

I just wanted to make

sure you got her.

Her thoughts...

her eyes...

her pleasure...

on Grant.

Alone.

I found where Paige

hides her secret stash.

Her stash?

Since when does Paige have a...

-Yeah. -You know what?

I really don't care.

This is what you get

for not sharing. Hah!

Oh, we are gonna have

some fun tonight.

That wasn't pot.

So... it was some

kind of love drug?

The others stole what I

made for the two of you.

And wound

up in your bed.

That night ruined everything.

It was a problem.

But one night can't

undo your destiny.

Your family...

Faodhagain.

Beth's family... Gref.

Both tied to the dark arts,

both tied to each other.

And when Beth discovered

your destinies...

she summoned me.

- Paige, please...

- There is no Paige, Grant.

There never was.

Only Asmodeus.

And I introduced you to her.

-You... -Yes.

Me.

And that game I got

you all playing...

Marry, f*ck, k*ll...

it is an old spell

suited to our purposes...

Bind, bed, bury.

What purposes? Beth's dead.

And you're talking

about marriage,

about us being together?

Oh, it doesn't

have to be wedlock.

It's binding,

connecting, attaching.

And as for Beth's death...

we're going to bring her back.

What?

I convinced Beth to add

you all to that will,

to bring you all here.

And so now, we are going to

finish what Beth started.

Exorcizamus

et, omnis spiritus,

om satanica potestas!

Paige?

I

prefer Asmodeus.

It's been you?

Aiding... guiding you

to what must come to be.

Help me, Grant.

Help me bring Beth back

to the mortal plane.

If you bind a piece

of all three of your

carnal friends together,

out of their sacrifice,

the sweet Beth you knew

and loved will return.

- Stronger. -

Ready to assume her

place by your side.

Their sacrifice? You

f*cking m*rder*d them!

-I m*rder*d them. -Oh, Grant.

Hey...

Given the chance, they

would do the same to you.

Marry, f*ck, k*ll.

- It's a stupid game.

- They all chose you to m*rder.

There is brutal truth

to that game.

They mocked you behind

your back, and you felt it.

You were great once.

What are you now?

Wouldn't you rather

thrive in power

with your fated love, Beth?

Instead of spending

the rest of your life wandering,

lost, like you have been,

for the next...

30, 40, 50 years?

A life...

fully inconsequential?

Yes, that's it.

What do I need to do?

Cut my throat.

I humbly

offer you my throat.

Bind, bed, bury.

What is thine will?

Love has all the power,

lust will devour,

and the heart shall

never be still.

Deyan anay

tasa Asmodeus.

Deyan anay tasa Asmodeus!

DEYAN ANAY TASA ASMODEUS!

Now, Grant! Now!

Beth! Hey.

Oh... Oh, Beth.

How are we going to

explain any of this?

Our friends disappeared.

You're back from the dead.

You know what?

We blame it all on Stephanie.

Yeah.

She deserves it.

And she's enough of a nut

that everyone will believe it.

We're together now.

We're going to spend the

rest of our lives together.

Rebuild this

family... this town.

And rule it like the

royalty I now know we are.

Our child will rule the world.

-I... -Shh. Shh.

But the most incredible thing...

is how you risked your own life

just to bring us back together.

I've returned the favour.

I've conjured you.

And now, here you are.

- It wasn't a love spell, Grant.

- Hmm.

Love... lust...

desire...

whatever it was,

it was for me.

It was for you...

but not for love.

Hate.

A hate spell

to end the evil of my family,

of your family... to end it all.

A hate spell?

But Asmodeus said she

was the demon of love.

Lust and desire

can also be hate.

A lust for blood.

A desire to destroy.

Bedfellows bound

together forever.

Asmodeus oversees both.

I don't understand. You hate me?

I hate what we've become.

It's evil...

what we're fated to be.

And the only way to avoid

our fate was to destroy you.

Destroy us.

When Paige...

Asmodeus found out

what I was trying to do,

she fought back.

Your

fate you cannot avoid.

This world shall be destroyed.

The one who denies

the Father and the Son

shall be born.

No!

Nothing you say will come to be.

My fate is mine and mine alone!

NO! -

And now...

you've done Asmodeus's bidding

and brought me back

to the mortal plane.

Now, I'm gonna set you free.
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