01x10 - Track 10: We Will Rock You

Episode transcripts for the TV series, "The Muppets Mayhem". Aired: May 10, 2023.*
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Junior A&R executive Nora must deal with the madness caused by Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem, who come face-to-face with the modern musical business as they try to record their first-ever platinum album.
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01x10 - Track 10: We Will Rock You

Post by bunniefuu »

FLOYD: Previously on The Muppets Mayhem...

(SINGING ROCK AND ROLL ALL NITE)

You're singing it all wrong,
it's, "and part of every day."

I feel bad for you.

Oh, here we go again with this argument.
Time to end this debate once and for all.

Lips will settle this.

He's got a photographical memory when it
comes to musical lines and lyrics.

Hit it!

(SINGING ROCK AND ROLL ALL NITE)

(MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY)

DR. TEETH: Mmm-hmm.

Well, that settles it.

DR. TEETH: Whoa, now,
why are we showin' 'em this, Zoot?


ZOOT: Showin' who?

DR. TEETH: Here's the important stuff.

FLOYD: Now, that you mention it,

I would take a brief hiatus,
so I can focus on my solo career.

We're lovingly comin' together to
hastily go in our separate directions.

Did the band just break up?

We're consciously un-banding.

I think the band broke up.

Bye.

Growing up,
I watched our family fall apart.

I'm not gonna let it happen to this one.

What do you say?

MOOG: I say,

let's get the band back together.

(OPENING THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

ANIMAL: Rock on! Rock on, rock on!

MOOG: If we wanna get The Mayhem
to play the Bowl,

we start with the backbone of the band,
a bassman.

All right, what's next
up on the docket, Jenny?

Excuse me, sir?

I said, "What we doin' next?"

I believe we have

- the Utz Pretzel campaign.
- Huh?

- What?
- What?

- Utz!
- Utz?

Utz Pretzels campaign!

Ooh! Okay, take this down.

Absolutely, sir. Ready when you are, sir!

(SINGING UTZ PRETZELS JINGLE)

- Mmm!
-"Groovy to eat!"

-"Mmm." Mmm.
- Mmm?

Yeah. What's next?

Bennigan's is looking for a jingle, sir.

Bennigan's? Didn't they
go out of business in ?

They're back. It's huge.

Sorry to interrupt,
this will just take a minute.

If you need a jingle, you need to schedule
a proper appointment with Mr. Pepper.

This is about The Electric Mayhem.

Is that a vacuum? 'Cause Mr. Pepper's
already under contract with Dyson.

No, we're here
to get the band back together.

Hey, Jenny, I can't see!
Who is that? Somebody we know?

- Strangers off the street, sir!
- Jenny, no!

- We are not strangers.
- Should we call security?

- Floyd! It's Nora!
- And Moog.

Hey, it's good to sorta see you.
You're a little far away.

- This is ridiculous.
- I don't think that's necessary.

We're gonna walk up to him
like normal people.

He doesn't like it
when you get too close...

- He'll be fine.
- I told them not to approach!

Look, Floyd, we're all so happy
that your solo career is taking off.

But we both know
The Mayhem playing the Hollywood Bowl

is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
It's a dream come true for all of us.

Come on. What do you say?

(SINGING BENNIGAN'S JINGLE)

- Hmm.
- JENNY: Hmm.

FLOYD: Mmm.
BOTH: Hmm.

I think you got a hit on your hands, sir.

Let's go bring it
to the brothers Bennigan, stat.

Yeah, but did you hear anything I said?

I did not.

What... Floyd!

FLOYD: And thank you, Jenny,
for writin' it down!

You got it, sir!

Wow. It's like all of Janice's followers
that she amassed online

followed her into the real world.
It's actually kind of amazing.

- Or in this case, concerning.
- Yeah.

Okay, the good news is if we convince
Janice to play the Hollywood Bowl,

then Floyd will be back on board,
and then the rest of the band will follow.

- And then nothing gets in our way.
- Yes.

Groovy greetings and numerous namastes.

Welcome to the radiant ranch
of the Forsureleans.

FOLLOWERS: For sure.

Like, how may we totally help you?

- Yep. Hi, we're just looking for Janice.
- Yes.

I'm afraid Spirit Mother
is not here at the moment.

FOLLOWERS: For sure.

Dude. I see her. She's like right there.

That's her just chillin' in the yoga hut.

That's just her organic skin shell.

Her soul will be surfing the astral plane
for the next four to six hours.

FOLLOWERS: For sure.

Wow. Great. We're just here
to make sure that her organic skin shell

is at the Hollywood Bowl tomorrow night.
So, we're just gonna...

FOLLOWERS: For sure.

They'll give her the message. Cool.

Please give her the message from us.
Thank you, guys, so much.

NORA: We're just gonna "for sure"
our way out of here. Okay.

FOLLOWERS: For sure.

(SOFT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)

Whoa.

- Wow.
- Wow.

I honestly cannot believe
all of these people are buying into this.

The art world is hailing Zoot a genius,
when all he really did

was post a bunch of blurry photos
on his Instagram.

Wait, is that my nostril?

Wait, is that $,?

Yeah. What?

You are a revelation, Mr. Zootowski.

Indeed.

Ah.

Tell us of your methods.

Uh... Yes.

(BOTH GASP)

- Yes.
- Yes.

Oh! There he is. There he is. Okay.

Okay. Hey, Zoot! It's us!

Sorry to crash your art thing.

What art thing?

Yeah. So, hey, we just popped by
to make sure you're gonna be

at the Hollywood Bowl show on Friday.

Please, just talk some sense
into the band.

What band?

NORA: Your band.
None of this rings a bell?

It does not.

- NORA: Mmm. Okay, great catchin' up.
- Bye.

MOOG: Okay, last chance.
Time to go talk to Teeth.

Jimmy, are those friends of yours?

No, but they sure seemed nice.

PENNY: You got my Dramamine?
DR. TEETH: Yes.

- My sunscreen?
- Yes, dear.

- And my bikini?
- Oh, yeah.

- Dr. Teeth, wait!
- Teeth, Teeth!

Hey, now.
Look who came to bon us with voyages.

- No, I'm here to convince you to stay.
- What?

The Hollywood Bowl is tomorrow, okay?

It's gonna be the show of a lifetime.
Please stay.

(SHIP HORN BLOWS)

MAN ON PA: Last call,
boarding the
Jalapeño Princess.

Enough! The company's all yours.
There's Tic Tacs in the top drawer.

Do not touch them! Now, cruise it
or lose it. It's daiquiri o'clock.

(LAUGHS)

That's my favorite time
of the day and night. (CHUCKLES)

Teeth.

Fare thee well, Boss Lady.

(SHIP HORN BLOWS)

- No, Teeth.
- Teeth! Come on.

Here I come, Twinkles!

(GRUNTS)

So, now what?

(NORA SIGHS)

NORA: The band is better off without me.

Dr. Teeth literally
sailed off into the sunset,

and I couldn't even track Lips down.

Hey, I think I found him.

(MUMBLING) I wanted to do a demonstration.

I know it's impossible.

But what if I told you,
not only is it a possibility now,

- we could do it in our lifetime?
- (AUDIENCE CLAPPING)

I have no clue
what's being said in that TED Talk,

but I can't take my eyes off of it.

He's on a mission to save the world.

I think about the band...

Meanwhile, mine is falling apart.
So, guys, I'm out.

Uh...

You're out? What does that even mean?
What's happening? Who are you?

Yeah. I'm done. Okay? I quit, all of it.
The business, the band, music.

How is that even possible?
Music's always been your whole life.

Yeah, and now, I need to figure out
what the rest of my life is gonna be.

You finally made an album.
You booked the Hollywood Bowl...

No. No band, no Bowl.

I just canceled the whole thing.

It's over, Han. I gotta go.

- HANNAH: (SIGHS) Go where?
- (TIRES SQUEALING)

MOOG: Animal, there's somethin'
we need to tell you.

Nora!

Look, I am just as upset as you are,
but we...

Oh, that's my bag. Okay, hey! No! No, no.

Okay, yeah. Let's not do that.
That was all organized.

That's a lot of stuff.

Drive!

- Where? I don't even know where she...
- Drive!

- I don't think he's talking about Nora.
- Ugh.

- I drive!
- No, you don't drive. I will drive!

No. He cannot drive. No...

Nothin' rhymes with "lobster."

(ANIMAL SCREAMS)

What?

(GROANING)

Hey, Animal! What's up, man?

Nora gone.

What? Gone?

Gone.

My hand is aching too, and it doesn't
get better. But for now, this is a...

Nora gone!

(ANIMAL PANTING)

And this concludes my TED Talk.

Okay, everybody, inhale deeply and listen
closely to what the universe is saying.

Nora... Nora gone!

Oh, wow, like, the universe
has, like, totally spoken.

FOLLOWERS: For sure.

Bye.

Hey.

(CROWD GASPING)

Gone! Gone! Gone! (PANTING) Nora.

Who?

Nora! Gone!

ZOOT: Oh!

Nora! I like her.

Well, then what are you waiting for?
Let's go find her.

After you.

(ZOOT GRUNTING)

PENNY: Once we set sail,

get ready for non-stop hot wing buffets
and hot stone couple's massages.

- Huh?
- Nora gone!

Hey, buddy, did you just say...

Gone!

She's gone?

Okay, just to clarify, Nora is not dead.
She is very much alive.

Well, now, hold on a minute.
Who said she wasn't?

(LIPS WHIMPERS)

(SOBS)

There, there.

To be clear, Nora is gone.
As in, she left.

(LIPS SOBBING)

She blames herself for failing you guys.

Failin' us? How could she think that?

Well, because the band's
not together anymore.

Hey, now. We're more than
just a band, we're a family.

Oh, like, totally,
and that means we'll always be together.

Even when we're apart.

Love.

- That's right.
- For sure.

Hey, why isn't Nora here?
Remember her? Nora?

Mmm. Zoot makes a strong argument.

Time we forget the cruises,
the yoga cults,

the TED Talks, and the jingle slingin'.

Time to go find Label Lady.
Time to go rock the Bowl.

Wait, Nora canceled the Bowl
before she left.

Well then, we uncancel it.
Let's mobilize and socialize!

Let's rolodex and yeah, we'll be there.

Perfect, Lips. You use your connections,
and I'll alert the Forsureleans.

TikTok!

#Back to the Bowl.

We ride.

(ALL CHEERING)

And I'll help, too. I'll call JJ.

'Cause he has left me
many irate voicemails

blamin' me for Nora skippin' town and all,

so... Did they break up?
It's probably not the best time for that,

but I don't know if anybody has any,
like, information on, like, their status.

- It doesn't matter, but also...
- (CHUCKLES)

Like, I don't know, like, it kinda does.

All right, yeah. Okay, let's ignore that.
Get back to the point.

- MOOG: Right.
- Finding Nora. How?

Yeah, your van got jacked.

ALL: (DEJECTEDLY) Yeah, yeah.

Oi! You idiots! Follow me.

Okay.

- (GARAGE DOOR OPENS)
- (ALL GASPING)

Wait.

All this time, you've been livin' here,
and you never once checked the garage?

We live here?

Okay. This is great and all, but we still
don't even know where Nora is.

We'll let the music lead the way.

Yeah, I don't think music works like that.

Not normally.
But then again, we ain't normal.

JJ: Okay. Your car dying is a sign.
You can't just skip town.


Why is everyone so surprised by this?
I'm just done. Okay?

Is this a joke?

I came to celebrate your first day
as a boss babe rockin' the big desk.

There's Tic Tacs. And even better?

I brought champagne, two glasses,
one for me and one for me.

'Cause I know you don't drink that much.

Yeah, well, you can have them, okay?
Because I'm not taking the job.

- Wait.
- And I canceled the Hollywood Bowl.

- What?
- And I moved out.

- Whoa!
- I'm sorry, JJ.

(STAMMERING) What's going on here?
Just, um, give me a sec to catch up.

Okay, on which part?

All of it.
We were gonna take the business by storm.

You and me, a power couple. We had a plan.

Yeah, well, now the plan is no plan.

The plan is...

- Hello? Hello?
- (CELL PHONE BEEPS)

Great. Maybe a little plan
wouldn't have been the worst idea.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING FAINTLY IN DISTANCE)

What the...

(JOIN TOGETHER PLAYING)

(SINGING)

That is so illegal.

But so awesome.

- FLOYD: Hey!
- (ANIMAL LAUGHING)

DR. TEETH: All right!

The Electric Mayhem has arrived.

LIPS: Absolutely!

But how?

You've got Red to thank for that.

Animal?

(LAUGHS)

What could he have possibly said
to get through to you guys?

Nora!

Gone!

And this concludes my TED Talk. Nobu!

The fact is,
for all you've done for all of us,

we can't let you give up your dream.

Aw!

Also, Lips thought you were dead.

ANIMAL: Yeah, yeah.

Aw.

Okay.

And from the first moment I met you, Nobu,

I knew that someday that you were gonna
change all of us here for the better.

But now, I know that you're...

(MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY)

JANICE: Mmm-hmm.

This was, like, the sweetest thing
anyone has ever said to...

Oh, my God. I understood Lips!

Well, that's cause you're one of us.
You're family now, Dorothy.

You, like, always have a seat on our bus.

So, hop aboard, Labels.
We got places to be and people to rock.

Let's roll to the Bowl!

Hey, guys, I hate to tell you this,
but the show was canceled.

No one's gonna be there.

No one or everyone?

(ALL CHUCKLING)

LIPS: "No one's gonna be there."
She doesn't know what she's talking about.

(JOIN TOGETHER PLAYING)

(SINGING)

Whoo!

(CROWD CHEERING)

DR. TEETH: All right, Hollywood Bowl!

(WHOOPING)

- FLOYD: Yeah!
- Yeah!

We am again, is once more,
are still and will always be,


they whom are known as
the eternally reunited


after bein' briefly divided
Electric Mayhem!


(CROWD CHEERING)

Hey, hey! Welcome back to music!

JJ? Wha...
I didn't expect you to still show up.

I always got your back, Smoosh.

Don't call me that.

So, is this the part where you say,
"Let's just be friends?"

I mean, I'd really like that.

Yeah, me, too.
Well, I'll see you around, Nora.

See ya, Smoosh.

Don't call me that.

DR. TEETH: As exciting as it is
to set sail on our own,


we realized, without each other,
we're all just a bit lost at sea.


Allow me to use this opportunity

to give a most enthusimitastic shout-out
to my mama and daddy.


Tonight's their very first
official Electric Mayhem concert.


Hey, Mama! Hey, Daddy!

That's my boy.

I, uh, never thought

I'd see them right there in the crowd,
cheering me on.


(VOICE BREAKING) And it's all thanks
to one very special friend.


Oh, man.

It's okay, Doc. Just speak from the heart.

Yeah.

This song is dedicated to a lady

who's been takin' care of her family
her whole life.


Nora! Nora!

But now, you got this family
to take care of you.


Mmm.

(SINGING)

(PLAYS ROCK GUITAR RIFF)

(CROWD CHEERING)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

And cue the fireworks.

(CROWD CHEERING)

- Wow!
- Whoo-hoo!

How am I not posting this right now?

'Cause you're living it.

Whoo!

- Boo.
- Terrible.

- Get off the stage!
- Amateurs.

- You're awful!
- Excuse me.

- Huh?
- But these aren't your seats.

Oh! Looks like the Muppets
finally did something we like.

- Oh? What's that?
- Made us leave.

- Oh!
- (BOTH LAUGH)

Oh, thank you, sir.

(CROWD CHANTING)

BAND MEMBERS: Whoa!

We, like, totally did it.

Did what?

I can now say
without fabrication or hesitation,

this truly is
the greatest achievement of my lifetime.

FLOYD: Mmm.
ANIMAL: Yeah.

For sure. Now, let's, like,
buy every single copy

and totally give 'em out for free.

FLOYD: Yes. Let's do that.

- No, no, no, no. Don't do that.
- Don't!

Although, I've been thinking,
now that we have a legit album,

we actually have a reason to go on tour.

What do you mean "we?"

Well, a proper tour
requires a proper manager.

So, I was thinking that
we could include me.

- Me? Me? Me? Me? Me?
- (ALL MURMURING INDISTINCTLY)

I believe I speak for everyone when I say,

"Well, all right!"

- You rock that spot!
- (ALL CHEER)

- Let's go do it.
- LIPS: Let's go! Nobu!

- Wait, now?
- ALL: Yeah!

- Road trip!
- FLOYD: Let's go!

NORA: We're leaving right now?

Hey, you coming or what?

The concert's over.
You guys are going on tour.

So, you know,
it's back to followin' the band.

You're with the band.

I'm with the band?

Road trip! Road trip! Road trip!

- Right, we should... We've got to...
- Yeah.

- DR. TEETH: There you go.
- (LIPS MUMBLES)

- A little more. Little more. There it is.
- Little more?

DR. TEETH: Thank you.

Ooh, don't forget the marshmallows.

Here. Don't forget your photo album.
Little piece of home for the road.

Thank you.
You know, I'm gonna miss you so much.

I'm gonna miss you crashing on my couch.

No, you're not.

No. No, I'm not. (CHUCKLES)

Just remember,
I was the original Fanahannah.

Home, sweet bus.

- That's right.
- Yeah, that's right.

Wow. I still can't get over
all these old photos.

Yeah, I took those with my first camera.
The band gave it to me, but I forget why?

Yeah, so he'd remember stuff. That's why.

- (ALL LAUGHING)
- Well, I remember this. And that.

And there's that grilled cheese sandwich
I ate that one time.

All right, we good to go?

- MOOG: Yeah! Let's go!
- Nora!

Oh, wow. We're, like,
gonna be roomies again.

Only this time,
with everyone else wedged into a bus.

Yeah, we've been tourin' around for years
without even a map.

But this tour shall be the psychedelical,

truly immersified experience
it deserves to be.

There's us taking Manhattan.

Yeah... (MUMBLES) And change the world!

You know, Lips is right.
We are gonna change the world.

- LIPS: Mmm-hmm.
- One concert at a time.

Hey, Nora. Aren't you forgetting
we're broke, and tours cost a fortune?

And there's Penny givin' me all that cash
for that album we never did.

Wait, Zoot. Would this be
the photo of the money you lost?

Yep. And there's me
stuffing the cash into a giant sack.

Oh, yeah, and there's me hiding that
giant sack on that old tour bus we had.

FLOYD: Sweet cream corn!

The photos are a veritable treasure map
of Zoot's memory.

Fan out and search, everybody!

(ALL CLAMORING)

- Over here.
- Ah! Found it!

You did it!

- (ALL CHEERING)
- ANIMAL: No, no. Over here.

You were saying?
Magic of The Mayhem, baby.

Well, now, who's ready to get rollin'
so we can start rockin'?

- You know I am!
- JANICE: I'm in!

Well then,
there's only one thing left to do.

And what is that, oh, fearless leader?

We take this show on the road.

FLOYD: Disney+ is gonna love this.

Bye, bye.

- (ENGINE STOPS ABRUPTLY)
- ANIMAL: Whoa!

ALL: Oh!

LIPS: What the...
FLOYD: What happened?

Uh-oh.

This one's for Kermit.

- (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)
- He is gonna dig that.
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