01x08 - What?

Episode transcripts for the TV series, "Primo". Aired: May 19, 2023.*
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A coming-of-age comedy about a teenager balancing college aspirations, societal expectations, and a hectic home life anchored by his single mom and five uncles.
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01x08 - What?

Post by bunniefuu »

[Bell rings]

Rafa, great work this year.

Oh, thanks, miss pedraza.

I, I really appreciate your help
with everything.

[Mary]
But listen, this is a big summer for you.

You should be thinking
about the experiences you can have

that'll make your application really sing.

Internships, traveling, volunteering.
Any plans like that?

Well, I was mostly gonna swim
in Harris's above ground pool

and play video games.

I see.

I mean, come on. I'm . It's summertime.

Am I really supposed to, like,
do something amazing?

Julia, what are you doing this summer?

Oh. I started a nonprofit
to tutor underserved youth

in stem, esl, and needlepoint.

You should download our app.
I designed it myself.

Well, she's , so.

- Hey, Mya.
- Hey, rafa.

I thought track was over.

It is, but some of the team
is meeting for a final run.

It's like the end-of-the-year thing.

Y'all just run for fun?

That's what track is. We run for fun.

What are you doing this summer?

We might be going on a trip.
My mom wants me to do math camp again

and my dad wants me to re-read
the complete works of James Baldwin.

You?

Very similar.

- Similar plans.
- [Mya] Uh-hmm.

Although my college prep teacher
wants me to have this big experience

- that'll juice up my application.
- [Mya] Uh-hmm.

- I have no idea what that could be.
- [Girl] Hey, Mya. Come on.

Oh, well, don't force it.
It'll come to you.

I'll see you later, all right?

Hey.

What are you stressed for?
You have the whole summer to tell her.

No, I don't have the whole summer.
That's the point.

She said she might go on some trip,
or to some math camp,

or read books by some guy.

Feel like I should know, but don't.

She's spending her summer
on books and math?

Why do you love her, man?

What if she goes off and gets a boyfriend?

At math camp?

I just have to tell her.

Here's what you gotta do.

You know how when the m*llitary,
they're like the first word

and the last word out of your mouth
needs to be sir?

Do it like that, but with "girl."

Girl, you look so fine, girl. Like that.

- Has it ever worked for you?
- Boy, no, it has not, boy.

Just get her a present like a vape pen
or a waterbed.

Then she'll know.

You want me to buy her a waterbed?

Girl, I bought you a waterbed, girl.

See? That sounds dope.

Excuse me, sir.
Do you know who James Baldwin is?

- What?!
- [Door shuts]

Ah, ...!

[Theme music playing]

- What?
- Early dismissal today.

I knew that, dammit.

[Clears throat]
Is there any way out of this?

- I don't think so.
- Okay.

Right.

Hey, rafa. What's up?
You know Sammy, the bus driver?

What?

We've been dating for about six months.

What?

Okay. I know you're trying to process
this whole situation right now,

so let me just walk you through it
step by step, okay?

Okay. So, remember the code I got you.

When I was making the deal
With Sammy for his part of it,

you know, cooking him the hot plates,
We got to know each other a bit.

and that's sort of how it began.
We started talking after that, and then...

my sister and I have lived
in seven different cities

and there's always some lame ass
trying to get...

I'm really glad you came.
I like this shirt.

- You like this?
- Yeah.

Idiot brothers who broke my shelf.

You know that bookshelf I had with, yeah.
They broke my shelf.

- Your sandwich.
- Aw, thank you.

You're welcome.

- [Rafa] Almost done.
- [Device beeps]

- [Ryan] Here we go.
- What was that?

- [Ryan] I found every word.
- [Rafa] That doesn't count.

- You just circled everything.
- [Ryan] Yes.

[Indistinct chatter]

[Rollie] Hey, look, man, we made a bet.
You lost.

If you had a heart att*ck, you'd die.

- So, you owe me bucks. Fair's fair.
- Thank you.

Nice to officially meet you, rafa.

Six months?

Good work. Great stuff, ma.

Congratulations!

Thanks, rafa.

- Have you told the uncles yet?
- No.

Can I please be there when you do?
We should record it.

Oh. They're gonna m*rder you, sir.
It's gonna be amazing. [Chuckles]

[Andrea] Okay. Here we go.

I'm dating Sammy the bus driver.

You all have one minute
and forty-five seconds

to ask me whatever questions you want,
and then I'm not talking about it anymore.

- [Jay] Hold on a second.
- [Andrea] Nope. Go.

- How long has this been going on?
- Officially, about six months.

- How'd you keep this hidden from us?
- Easy. You're all oblivious.

- Is he nice to you?
- Yes. He's a lovely guy.

- How did you meet?
- On the bus.

How fast can a bus go?

That's your question?

Yeah. Like, how fast can a bus go?
I've always wanted to know.

- I, I don't know.
- Why has he not proposed to you yet?

Because he's not a psychopath.

Does Sammy take the bus to work?
And if so, who drives it?

You know there are other buses
and other bus drivers.

Could Speed Happen in real life?

Like a bus that has to go
miles per hour

- or else it's gonna explode?
- I don't know.

Is the bus the king of the vehicles

the same way that the lion
is the king of animals?

Stop asking bus questions.

And if you two get married,
can we drive the bus?

[Rollie] And where do buses
sleep at night?

And this isn't
a Thomas the t*nk engine scenario

where the buses are alive and have faces.

- How many other things can Sammy drive?
- [Mike] I have a Speed Follow-up.

How many times
has Sammy met Keanu Reeves?

I don't know. I don't know. None.

And how come they haven't invented
buses that could fly?

Like, you could fly in the air
across great distances.

- That's a plane.
- But like a bus version.

- Still a plane.
- When Sammy's done

with the bus, can I have it?

Why are they called busboys?
There's no buses involved.

There's only double-Decker
buses or burgers.

- How come?
- You could call it sky bus.

- [Bell dings]
- Oh, time's up.

- Okay.
- [Indistinct chatter]

So, from now on,

me and Sammy dating,
just a regular part of life.

Any final questions?

Any final questions
that are not bus-related?

- Mike.
- Hmm.

Before you ask,
I need you to think very carefully

about whether or not
this is in fact a bus question.

Uh-hmm.

- What were you gonna ask?
- I wanted to know if bus drivers

wear bulletproof vests.

- [Ryan] Why would they?
- Why would he do that?

Have you seen Speed?

- [Rafa] Ma.
- [Andrea] Uh-hmm.

I have a real question for you.
How, how did he ask you out?

Like, like, how exactly?
What, what words did he use?

Hmm. Well, actually, I asked him out.

I always liked him

and I had hoped that maybe he felt
the same way about me.

So, one day,

I just summoned all my courage
and I walked up to him

and said I'd like to get
to know him better.

And then, I asked him
if he'd like to have dinner

and he said yes.

We went out,
had a really nice conversation,

and that was it.

I mean, I was nervous...

- [Rafa] Yeah.
- [Andrea] Obviously,

but I think I realized
that I would have felt a lot worse

if I never asked the question at all,
you know, like if I never knew.

So, I did it.

Okay.

Okay. Good. Thank you.

Can I ask you for a favor?

Anything, baby.

[Rafa] Do we have any banners
that aren't painted on both sides?

I think I'd like to have a little party.

I thought you weren't throwing primo
any more parties.

- He asked me to.
- [Jay] Huh.

- Who's coming?
- [Andrea] Everyone.

His friends, Miguel, Harris, Mya.

I smell Cologne.

That's "gasolina" by daddy yankee.
I'd know it anywhere.

Yeah, the lighting in here is romantic.
Are you setting a mood?

No. We just
ran out of light bulbs, remember,

because you guys had
a light bulb fight last week?

Primo's finally going
to say something to Mya.

He's going to sing her the song
of his heart.

- I hate how you talk.
- We have to help him.

- [Indistinct chatter]
- [Andrea] Listen to me.

God, I'm so tired of saying this.

This is something he has to do by himself.
Stay out of it.

- [Indistinct chatter]
- Yeah. For sure.

Yes, ma'am.

No one likes meddling, you know.

Hey. I noticed you're writing a letter.

- I got a big tip for you.
- It's okay, uncle Ryan. I got it.

You should write it with a sharpie.
It conveys strength.

I think it would more convey
that I'm a maniac.

Instead of a letter,
get a tattoo of her face.

I do it all the time.

My back looks like a page
from my yearbook.

I think I'm gonna stick with the letter.
Thank you though.

If you're using animal metaphor,
choose a strong animal.

Like a moose or a buffalo.

There are no buffalos in this letter.

When I first told your aunt Denise
that I wanted to go out with her,

she said to me...

she's...

i gotta call her.
I love her so much.

Excuse me.

Guys. Thank you, but I got this.

I'm good.

- Primo's being a d*ck today.
- Right?

[Upbeat music playing]

[Indistinct chatter]

This is insane.

What do we know about this guy, huh?

Is he good enough for her?

Aren't we supposed to be the ones
who decide that?

We need to trust
that drea knows what she's doing.

"We need to trust
that drea knows what she's doing."

Shut up, Jay. Ryan's right.
We don't have any information here.

We can just talk to him.

You think he's just gonna tell you
his secrets?

Have you seen
even one single true crime documentary?

"Hey, Sammy. How you doing?"

"Oh, I'm great.
I love being normal and happy."

Cut to a scene of a detective

explaining how they found drea's eyeballs
in his pocket.

- That's a strong point.
- He's in our bus now.

We are in control.
This is a m*llitary operation.

Rollie, work your jailhouse sources.
You find out if he's ever been in trouble.

Ryan, I want a full-spectrum cyber stalk
of this man's Internet footprint.

Asymmetrical warfare.
Does he have a LinkedIn profile?

Do bus drivers have yelp reviews?

- Find it all.
- You got it.

And would you say
I'm the lynchpin of this operation?

I've always wanted to be a lynchpin
or a cornerstone...

Stop talking or you're out.

You got it.

I can consult
his astrological birth chart.

All I need is the exact time, date,
and location of his birth

as well as his consent.

I don't like doing people's charts
without their permission.

No, thank you.
Jay, check in with your crews.

One of them has to have worked with him
at some point.

We turn over every rock,
we look behind every door,

we turn this man's life inside out.

- I got his car keys.
- [Mike] Okay. Yeah. Good.

New plan, we just go through his car.

[Harris] k*lling it. That's great.

- Yeah.
- That's wild.

[Indistinct chatter]

- [Mya] Hey.
- Hey.

I got you something.

- Really?
- [Mya] Yeah.

So, I'm usually a little nervous
about playing music for people

because, well, you know
the stuff I like is a little just...

Horrible, weird,
gives me awful nightmares?

But you were super cool
about listening to this band with me

and I thought
that was just really amazing,

because they're my favorite, so...

Haunted womb?

- No way!
- [Mya] Yeah.

It's from their last world tour,

right before the bassist
was eaten by that orca whale.

I love it.

- [Mya chuckles]
- Thank you.

You're welcome.

I actually have something for you too.

You, you wanna take a walk?

Sure.

Everything in here is sticky.

Yo, look.
There's a picture of Gloria with her kid.

That son of a bitch
is two-timing drea with Gloria.

- Is this tea or pee?
- Women's nail Polish.

Gloria must've left in his car
when they were sneaking around together.

- [Rollie] Pee.
- Oh, my god.

His car is registered to Gloria.

He's using Gloria's car.

- This is just Gloria's car, isn't it?
- [Rollie] Yeah.

[Jay] Goddammit, Rollie.

I thought they were his keys.

They were on the table next
to his sunglasses,

the ones that say coffee slut
in rhinestones.

- His car is over there.
- [Jay] All right. Let's go.

Come on.

[Indistinct]

[Upbeat music playing]

- Hey.
- Hey.

I think your brothers
are ransacking my car.

Don't worry about it.
It's just who they are, how they are.

It's just something you gotta deal with.
I hope that's okay.

Sure. It actually makes me feel
kind of important.

Yeah. Now that they've started,

we just gotta let this thing
run its course,

and then everything will be fine.

I mean, I got nothing to hide.
And from what I know about them,

as long as they got something
to keep them busy,

it might be easier for us
to enjoy ourselves.

They're like minions.

Did he just take the battery out
from the bottom?

He's really good with cars.

Okay. So...

i wrote you something.

- [Chuckles] Ah...
- Okay.

Just, just some stuff
that I've been thinking about

and wanting to say to you
for a while actually.

And, um...

here.

You can read it now or later

or, you know, you can throw it away or...

Well, actually, it's, you know,
it's kind of important,

so don't, don't do that. Um...

You know, reading it now
is probably my preferred option,

but, but it's your choice, of course.

Rafa, before I open this,

I think there's something
you need to know.

My dad got re-assigned
to a base in Missouri.

We're moving in two months.

What?

You're moving?

We just found out.

I'm pretty sure I know what this is
and I'm pretty sure I shouldn't open it.

I just don't wanna make things harder

than they're gonna have to be
when I have to leave.

If I leave and we're just friends,
I know what that's like.

I've done that before.

But if I leave
and we're more than friends...

Rockwell had a girlfriend
when we lived in Ohio.

When we had to leave for Germany,
he was devastated.

He said they would stay together,

but it's only a few emails and facetimes,

which only made it worse
when it ended for real.

[Rafa] I understand. I get that.

I'm gonna head home.

Okay.

(Sniffling)

[Upbeat music playing]

We've conducted a thorough operation.

We're ready to declare
Sammy a worthy boyfriend.

Thank you.

Literally couldn't matter less
coming from you bozos, but thank you.

You're welcome.

We do have some questions about Gloria,
the coffee slut.

We found some weird stuff in her car.
A bunch of unpaid tickets,

a case of wine coolers
buckled into a child safety seat,

a handwritten kidnapping note.

So, my first question is,
you'd think she'd go out with me?

- You wanna go out with Gloria?
- She seems amazing.

And plus, single moms
always have snacks and band-aids.

- [Sammy] Cake's done.
- Oh.

Thank you. Hmm, there.

Hey, Sammy, can we ask
a couple questions about the bus?

- Sure.
- Great.

Thirty, forty-five minutes Max.

[Andrea] Hey.

- How bad is his car?
- Not bad.

Pretty bad. Sorry about that.

Mike is a surprisingly
compelling public speaker.

- I don't know what happened.
- You guys happened.

But it's okay. It's sweet.

Hey, Rockwell.

- Yeah, what's up?
- Can I ask you something?

Totally. Yeah. What's going on?

- You remember Nicole?
- Yeah.

When we left then you
and her had to break up,

it sucked, right?

It did a lot. I hated it.
Thanks for bringing it up.

But, you know, it was... it was good.
It was good, too.

- What do you mean?
- I think it's part of it,

like relationships,
those four months that we spent together,

it was really nice to be connected
to someone outside of the house,

even if it was just for a little while.

Which one is it?

Rafa.

He's cool. He's a nice kid.

[Dramatic music playing]

[Mya] Oh, it's a photo booth.

- Come on, come on.
- All right, all right.

[Camera clicks]

Oh, they're coming now.
Let's see. What was that?

I don't even know.

Goofball.

[Indistinct chatter]

[Rafa] Dear Mya.

hi. It's me, rafa.

if you're reading this,
That means I gave it to you

and that's sort of the point
Of this letter.

for my entire life,
I've been nervous about everything.

about school, about the future,

about what I'm going to eat for lunch,
Everything.

and a lot of times,
I've let that nervousness stop me

from doing something I wanted to do.

but I realized something recently,

feeling nervous about something
Only lasts for a few seconds.

but the regret of not doing something
Because you're nervous lasts way longer.

so, let me state this
As plainly as possible.

Mya, I like you.
I like talking to you about things.

i like when you play jokes on me.
I even like digging holes with you.

you make everything you touch better,
Including me.

and so, despite everything inside of me
Saying I should do otherwise,

i have a question to ask you.

Mya?

Rafa.

Why are you running?

I don't know. I saw you running
and I thought we were running.

Wow. You're in great shape.

Okay. I'm good.

I don't know if you read my letter or not,

but... I need to tell you something.

Or... I need to ask you something. I...

[Dramatic music playing]

[Rafa] Mya Perkins,

do you wanna be my girlfriend?
I hope you say yes.

love, rafa.

What?

[Dramatic music playing]
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