02x09 - Thanksgiving at Mrs. Rossini's

[bunniefuu]

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

♪ There is more to life than what you're living

♪ So take a chance and face the wind

♪ An open road and a road that's hidden

♪ Brand new life around the bend

♪ There were times I lost a dream or two

♪ Found the trail and at the end was you

♪ There's a path you take and a path not taken

♪ The choice is up to you my friend

♪ Nights are long but you might awaken

♪ To a brand new life

♪ Brand new life

♪ Brand new life around the bend ♪

-Whisk. -Whisk.

-Nutmeg. -Nutmeg.

-Egg... -Egg...

(GASPS)

You know, Angela, I know you weren't exactly raised on a farm,

but there's something you should know about eggs,

-they break. -Oh!

Tony, I'm so sorry, I guess I just got carried away.

I was having so much fun cooking.

I've never made a Thanksgiving dinner before.

No?

Well, I did it.

I finally discovered

what those parking lot signs mean by, "Severe tire damage".

Oh, Mother, what were you thinking?

How could you back your car up over those spikes?

Angela, I didn't back my car up over those spikes.

I backed your car up over those spikes.

-Mother! -Hey, Mona.

It's a good thing you had those rims to drive home on.

-(TELEPHONE RINGING) -Hold on. Hold on.

I've got it.

Bower residence.

Hey, Mrs. Rossini!

How are you?

Mother, you know how I hate confrontations,

but I'm not completely convinced

that I should pay for new tires.

I think you should.

Okay.

Hey, Mrs. Rossini. It sounds fine with me,

but look, I'm gonna have to check.

But it sounds great. Okay, bye, bye.

Hey, great news.

Mrs. Rossini just invited us all

to a real old-fashioned Thanksgiving in Brooklyn.

Oh, Tony, we're having Thanksgiving here.

Anyway that's your neighborhood, not mine.

I won't really know anybody there.

Ah, come on!

Angela, that's what Thanksgiving is all about.

Do you think the Pilgrims really knew the Indians?

What you do, you see, is you invite strangers into the bosom of your family.

That's the spirit of Thanksgiving.

Unfortunately, I've made other plans.

What other plans?

I am going to be in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

What?

Hey, all right, Mona.

Well, Mother, that means we're not going to see you on Thanksgiving.

Oh, of course you will.

The cameraman's a friend of mine.

He's promised me a lot of close-ups.

(CHUCKLES) Hey, well, Mona, we'll be rooting for you from the Rossini's.

Oh, Tony, I don't know.

I don't think I'm gonna remember anybody's name.

I just don't think I'd be comfortable there.

I mean, everybody will be so

Mediterranean.

Angela, you'll be fine.

And. besides. I gotta go.

Mrs. Rossini has some big surprise cooked up for me.

Well, what kind of surprise?

Angela, if he knew that, it wouldn't be a surprise.

Come on, Angela.

Cut loose.

Oh...

Well, I guess I could go to Brooklyn and get down.

Don't hurt yourself, Angela.

I'm okay.

Listen, Angela, it'll be great. Come on.

I'll tell you what we'll do. We'll take the mousse and we'll even say you made it.

I did make it.

Well, hey, wait a minute. You didn't finish it.

-It still needs an egg. -Oh, I can do that.

Well, just don't do it like last time.

Bring it over here nice and easy.

Okay.

Nice and easy.

Ah!

There.

(DOORBELL BUZZES)

-Carmella, doorbell. -They're here!

They're here! Oh!

Joey, Joey. Sit up straight.

Papa, straighten your tie.

Papa?

Papa?

-Tony! -Mrs. Rossini!

Tony!

Hey, here they are.

Hey, the place looks great.

What did you do, get new furniture?

No, just took the plastic off.

-Hey. -Hey.

Oh, so good to see you. You look wonderful.

My buddy, there's my buddy.

-Whoa, whoa! -Eh, eh, eh, eh!

Ooh, that jab of yours is getting faster.

Yeah, I've been playing a lot of tennis.

(LAUGHING)

Good to see you, buddy.

Hey, Angela, this is Joey, Joe and Joseph.

It's nice to meet you, Joe.

I'm Joey.

Ah, yes, of course you are.

Hey, this is Joey. This is Mrs. Rossini's son.

I taught him everything he knows.

Well, not everything.

(HOOTING AND HOLLERING)

Ooh, Theresa.

(KISSES) You look beautiful. Oh!

Oh, how lovely, I see you're with child.

Good eyes, Angela. Good eyes.

Hey, Tony, who's this, your new girlfriend?

Papa, this isn't a girl, it's his boss.

This is Angela, she's my... She's my boss...

She's my friend.

She's my friendly boss.

(LAUGHING)

Hey, but she brought a mousse.

Oh, I don't eat red meat.

Hey, Joey, can I go show Jonathan your pigeons up on the roof?

-Sure, just don't let 'em fall off. -Okay.

But, Joey, can't they fly?

Not the pigeons, you, goombah.

Come on, cumpari.

I'll let you feed them.

What do they eat?

Little boys' fingers.

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

Oh, he's such a nice boy.

Oh, thank you.

Actually, he's more grown up than a little...

But thank you, that's very sweet.

Hey, Angela.

-(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) -Isn't this great?

And I want you to know something,

-you're fitting in real good. -Oh, am I?

-Yeah, yeah, you're one of the g*ng. -Oh, good.

Tony, are you ready for your surprise?

It's in the kitchen.

It's probably a stuffed artichoke.

I love those things. They're great.

And now, all the way from Jersey City,

Gina Bonafetti.

That's some stuffed artichoke.

Hi, Tony.

Hi, hi.

No hugs for an old friend?

Oh, sure, hi.

Ooh.

Gee, Gina.

(CHUCKLES) Wow, did you grow up? Holy, man...

What happened to the skinny little kid

with the pigtails and the scraped up knees?

Ah. See. They healed.

They healed good.

Perhaps you'd like to see her appendix scar.

(ALL SPEAKING AT ONCE)

Joey, Joey, everything all right?

-All right. Dear? -TONY: I'm having a great time.

Dear, is everything all right?

Oh, it's delicious!

Yeah...

Tony, Tony, you're not finished yet, are you? Hmm?

Maybe a little bit more...

Ravioli.

-Maybe I'll have another sip of... -Wine?

Maybe I'll have one more...

Stuffed artichoke?

This is great.

Hey, Carmela, what am I, an orphan over here?

I could do with a little more of those potatoes.

TONY: An orphan! He'll turn into an orphan!

I don't know where he puts it.

I do, Ma. Look at that la panza.

Oh, la panza.

Show some respect. We got company.

(GASPS)

How come everyone's always hitting me?

Hey, here's another sh*t!

Hey, give me another load of stuffing, huh?

Hey, come on, get going!

Boy, I like the way this place works.

(IMITATING AN ITALIAN ACCENT) Hey, Sam, give me some more turkey!

Get it yourself!

(IN NORMAL VOICE) I guess you have to be Italian.

(TONY LAUGHS)

That's right, buddy.

You're all right, kid.

So, Angela, I understand you're in advertising.

Hey, yeah, let me tell you something,

Angela's the president of Wallace and McQuade .

Oh, that must be so hard.

I'll bet you type really fast.

Well, actually, my job is more managerial.

It's kind of telling people what to do.

Oh, I could never boss a man around.

Are you kidding me, Angela's great at it.

Thank you, Tony.

Hey, I wouldn't say it unless I meant it.

(LAUGHING OBNOXIOUSLY)

Carmella, wonderful dinner!

(ALL CHEERING AND APPLAUDING)

Hey!

She's the best.

(ALL CHEERING)

And don't you forget it.

Hey, we're missing the parade.

What do you say, let's look at the tube, huh?

-Oh, I'm going. -WOMAN: Okay.

You go get the salad now.

Okay.

(INDISTINCT CHATTEIRNG)

Hey, Tony, where are you going?

I'm going to go help in the kitchen.

In the kitchen?

(CHUCKLES) What a kidder.

I don't know what got into me.

Oh, Tony, why don't I take it.

When in Rome.

I'll get that.

Oh, no that's all right.

If I can boss men around,

I can take a plate into the kitchen.

(PLATE SHATTERING)

I'm sorry, I'm really sorry...

-It just fell out of my hands. -It's all right.

It's all right.

We can replace it when we go back to Sicily.

Good.

You're a guest.

You just sit with the men and relax.

-Mmm-hmm. -Please.

Ah!

(GROANS LOUDLY)

Ooh!

Hey, Angela, isn't this great?

No, it is not great and I'm not going to talk to you until you button your pants.

What's the matter with you? What's the matter?

You mad they won't let you work inside the kitchen there?

No, I just feel very uncomfortable.

Oh, that's why you gotta unbutton...

Get your hands off my pants!

Hi.

Tony, I have never seen anything like this in my life before.

Those women worked like dogs to prepare a feast for you.

They did everything but practically chew your food

and you men sat there and you stuffed your faces

and you didn't lift one finger to help.

Well, Angela, take it easy.

That's the way it happens to be here.

Tony. Gina's bringing out the dessert in a minute.

You know, Angela, now that I think about it, maybe you're right.

I'm going to go help Gina in the kitchen.

Oh, look! There's Grandma!

Turn the sound up, Jonathan.

Oh, it's my mother.

WOMAN (ON TV): Here it is, folks, the moment you've all been waiting for,

the Santa Claus float.

I don't see Santa yet, but here's one of his elves!

(INAUDIBLE)

That's a mighty cute elf,

but where's the big guy himself?

Oh, here's another elf...

No, that's the same elf.

Tony should see this!

Excuse me.

WOMAN: And here's a sh*t from our Goodyear Blimp.

Of the elf...

(CHRISTMAS JINGLE PLAYING ON TV)

Hello, dear.

Oh, how was Thanksgiving?

Fine.

Did you happen, perchance,

to catch a glimpse of me in the parade?

Catch a glimpse of you?

Mother, thanks to you, thousands of little children all across America

now think that Santa is a redhead with cleavage.

My, my, my.

Aren't we grumpy today.

Is something wrong?

Nothing at all.

Are you sure?

Ah, Mother, there is nothing wrong.

Okay, fine,

then I'm off to the Day-After -Thanksgiving-Day sale.

All right, I'll tell you.

Mother, we have misjudged Tony.

Yesterday I saw a side of him I have never seen before.

Oh, what side was that, dear?

(CHUCKLING)

The Neanderthal side.

Mother, those women wait on the men hand and foot.

They wipe their chins.

I would have loved to have seen you waiting on Tony.

-(LAUGHING CONDESCENDINGLY) -(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY)

Oh, I didn't have to.

They had someone for that.

Mother, I didn't think that there were women who still acted like that

and that Tony could be so taken by it,

so unenlightened.

I mean, he liked it!

So, what you're saying to me

is that men like to be pampered.

What a discovery.

Angela, does Cosmo know about this?

Mother, if you're going to joke about something that is this serious,

let's just forget it.

Okay, fine.

(LAUGHING)

Never mind, Angela.

I'll talk to Tony.

Where is our little caveman this morning?

I don't know.

You mean he hasn't come home yet?

Mother, I don't pry.

All I know is that it's 9:00

and Tony Micelli is supposed to be at work.

TONY: Oh!

Good morning.

Good morning. You want coffee, tea, juice?

Angela, I really appreciate you taking the kids home last night.

I had such a great time with the g*ng in Brooklyn.

Well, what about the g*ng in Connecticut?

There could have been a fire here.

I would have had to carry two children

out of a burning house all by myself.

You're right. You're right.

The next time I stay out all night

I'll make them sleep in the yard.

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

I got it. I got it.

On the job. On the job.

Bower residence...

Oh, hi, Gina...

Yeah, me too...

Excuse me.

And she called to tell him she knit him a sweater last night.

Oh, Angela, don't be preposterous.

No one can knit a sweater overnight.

(LAUGHS) Can you believe this girl?

While I was out with the guys last night,

she knitted me a pair of socks.

See?

Hey, Angela, could I have a few hours off this weekend?

-Well, how many? -Forty-eight.

Well, Tony, I don't know...

Oh, Angela, come on. It's Thanksgiving.

All your other employees get a four-day weekend.

Okay?

Well,

okay.

Oh, let's hear it for the great emancipator.

Yeah...

Gina, it's all set.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, me, too.

Yeah, listen, ciao, bellissima.

(LAUGHS)

Oh, boy. Angela, you're terrific.

You're the best boss.

Well, who am I to stand between a man and his bellissima.

What's with her?

I don't know.

Maybe her Thanksgiving dinner didn't agree with her.

Are you kidding me, Mona? It was great.

The whole day was great.

They're so warm,

and the family and friends and the food...

Oh, and Gina,

she made the best raviolis,

-just like my wife used to make. -MONA: Mmm.

-And she knits, too. -Mmm.

Ooh! She sounds like quite a woman.

Yeah, she really is.

She's the sweetest girl in the world, Mona.

And you know, I may be way off on this,

but Angela didn't seem to warm up to Gina.

Well, don't worry about it, Tony.

After all, I mean, it's your affair.

Ho, hey, Mona.

What are you saying?

Are you kidding me? Gina's...

Gina's not the kind of girl you fool around with.

Gina's the kind of girl you marry.

(LAUGHS)

(SIGHING)

That was good.

The food wasn't bad either.

Oh, I hope so.

Do you want a little more?

No, maybe we should save some for the Rossinis.

They, uh, went to Atlantic City for the weekend.

-Oh, yeah? -Mmm-hmm.

Maybe somebody'll get lucky.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Maybe so.

You stay in here and relax.

I'll, uh, start dessert.

(SOFTLY) Ooh, man!

(HUMMING AN UP-b*at TUNE)

Hi.

What... What are you doing in here?

I thought I'd come in and help you out.

Just leave it. I'll clean up.

All right, you clean up.

Let me make the dessert. What are we having?

Zabaglione. But I'll do it.

Oh, come on. We'll do it together.

It'll be fun. I'll get the eggs.

(HUMMING AN UP-b*at TUNE)

Hey, Gina, catch!

-Tony, be careful! -Ooh.

-You'll break it. Now please just me the egg. -TONY: I won't break it.

Here, watch this one. Ah!

Ooh, that was close.

Tony, give me the egg.

-You want this egg? -Please.

-The egg? There you are. -Yes.

(SCREAMS)

Ooh, Tony, look what you did.

Oh, come on, Gina.

I was just kidding around a little bit.

Not in my kitchen. Out!

Boy, are you strict.

Look, I was just trying to have a little fun, you know.

We'll have fun later. Okay?

All right.

(CHRISTMAS JINGLE PLAYING)

MONA: Oh, Angela, this is the good part!

Wake up! You missed it.

Huh? Oh, I'm sorry, I must have dozed off.

That's okay, that's okay, I can play it again.

Oh, I could watch this all night.

And you have, Mother.

Well, you're no fun.

I'm going up to my own apartment

and watch this on the big screen.

Come on, Grover.

Grover, come on.

All right, we'll watch the part with Snoopy, too.

Come on!

(DOOR UNLOCKING)

Hey, Angela.

Tony, hi, I didn't think I was going to see you tonight.

Well, I thought I'd better get home in case there was a fire.

(ANGELA LAUGHS)

There was.

I didn't know lamb chops were so flammable.

-You b*rned the dinner? -Yeah.

That's great.

What's great about that?

Well, I mean it's just like you, you know,

you try, you fail, I make the save.

(CHUCKLING) Yeah.

Well, how was your dinner?

Oh, it was great. Perfect.

The candlelight, the wine,

but then I just couldn't.

(SIGHS)

Well, um, Tony,

lots of men have this problem...

Now and then.

Not with me.

But, uh, I've read articles.

Now, maybe you were too tired

or maybe you had too much to drink.

Or perhaps she reminded you of a distant aunt.

Angela, it's not that I couldn't.

It's that I couldn't. You know, I wouldn't, I didn't...

And the problem was up here.

That's what the articles say.

Angela, would you forget the articles!

You're missing the point here.

I mean, Gina's terrific.

I mean, she's warm, she's beautiful,

she's crazy about me, she's...

Hey, she can cook.

Well, she sounds like everything you've always wanted in a woman.

Everything I thought I wanted.

What do you mean, Tony?

I don't know. Maybe I want more,

maybe I want less.

You think I'm flipping out?

(LAUGHS) No, but I think maybe you're changing.

Hey, I still like girls.

I just don't know what kind.

Well...

(STAMMERING) I don't know either, Tony.

What do you think?

I don't know.

I want someone I can talk to, you know, somebody I can kid around with,

somebody who's got more in her life

than just taking care of me.

Somebody like...

Meryl Streep?

Yeah, somebody just like her.

-Knit one, purl two. -(DOORBELL RINGS)

Knit one...

I got it.

What are you making, ladies?

Leg warmers for a giraffe?

Oh!

I followed the pattern, it just didn't say when to stop.

Hey, Mona, it's for you.

Who is it?

I don't know, but this guy looks awful familiar to me.

Come on in, sir.

Are you Mona Robinson?

Yes, I am, but I don't believe we've met before.

Does this ring a bell?

You know how long I've waited for that sh*t,

the Macy's Parade on network TV?

And what happened to my coverage?

They gave it to you, an elf!

What happened to "Ho, ho, ho"?

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)