Hey, Dad.
- Is snow bad?
- Snow? I don't think so. Why?
Well, do they have snow in the
place I'm not supposed to talk about?
Nicholas, what are
you talking about?
Well, you said Susan
had as much chance...
of going skiing all by
herself with her boyfriend...
as a snowball in that place.
Nicholas, what I meant was...
that your sister Susan would
be alone with her boyfriend, and...
Look, you see, let me
explain it a little better.
Your sister is a very
attractive young girl, and...
Son, I guess it
defies explanation.
You'll understand when you become a
parent and have daughters of your own.
I'd rather have puppies.
Sometimes, so would I.
The way I figure it, Matilda
can move into my room...
you know, so no one
else is inconvenienced.
Then I'll double up with Susan,
Joanie can move in with Nancy...
and Elizabeth can use
the rollaway. Easy, right?
I don't see any reason why she
can't stay here for a couple of days.
Uh...
Does, uh...?
Does the fact that she's very
pregnant give you any reasons?
Good one. MATILDA: Oh.
- You can move them both.
- I can?
Yeah. MATILDA: One, two three.
One, two, three,
four, five, six.
- How come you're so fat?
- Nicholas.
Ha-ha-ha. Oh,
that's okay, really.
I have a baby in here, Nicholas.
It's gonna smother
if you're not careful.
- Going to Johnny's.
- Oh, wear your jacket.
Can't. Left it at Johnny's.
Uh, Mom, this is Matilda Bailey.
Matilda, this is my mom.
Hi. JOAN: Hi.
I understand you're
gonna be with us for a while.
Well, if you don't mind.
My old place didn't allow children,
and I couldn't hide it anymore.
Oh, we certainly don't mind
as long as you understand...
that a house this size
with a family this size is...
What she means is if my father finds
panty hose on the shower curtain...
he tends to come unglued.
- Ha, ha.
Yeah. Oh, well, I don't wear
panty hose. Unh. They're sexist.
That's okay. He gets mad if you
hang your Jockey shorts there too.
Ha-ha-ha. MARY:
Tommy, would you...?
Uh, Matilda, I'm afraid I'm gonna have
to ask you a couple of awkward questions.
Like why I'm not married?
Well, for starters.
Because I don't wanna be.
Stop, Rick Henderson.
Rick, that's not fair. You're
always stealing my drink.
Well, I can't think of
anyone else's I'd rather steal.
Oh, yeah? Well, flattery
will get you everywhere.
What?
What's wrong?
Do I have a smudge on
my nose or something?
Your nose is perfect. Just
like everything else about you.
Well, tell that to
my trig professor.
I'm still trying to figure
out what a tangent is.
Well, a tangent is
something you go off on.
Like a Tangent
6, a great little car.
As a matter of fact, why don't
you and I hop into my Tangent 6...
and go up to Squaw Valley
for some skiing this weekend?
Hey, that sounds
super. Who else is going?
Well, in our little
party, no one.
Does that pose any obstacle?
I never like going up
in a big group anyway.
Okay.
I'll make reservations
just for the two of us, then.
Sure, why not?
First time for everything.
Tommy, did you leave your
bike in the driveway again?
- Hi, honey.
- Oh, hi. How are you?
- Okay. How are you?
- All right.
Tommy, please don't abandon
your bike in the driveway like that.
- How many times have I told you?
- Oh, sure, Dad. I'll get it right away.
I'm getting right on it, I promise.
Really, I promise. I'll do it right now.
Incredible.
Honey, he and Nicholas
have been terrific.
They cleaned up
the entire backyard.
Really? All that lumber
that was out there?
- All gone. It's beautiful.
- Amazing.
I don't know why they
ignore me and listen to you.
- Well, because I feed them.
- Hi, Dad.
- Hello, Father. Did you have a nice day?
- Yeah, fine.
- Can I fix you a drink?
- Yeah, sure.
Um, I was speaking to my
sociology professor today...
and he just loved
that column you wrote.
You know, the one a couple of
weeks ago on unwed mothers.
Which? Oh, yeah. Yeah,
that was a good one.
The courage of a woman's
devotion to her child, the joy of birth.
That is good. No
wonder he liked it.
Unusually perceptive of you.
- Here you go, Dad.
- Oh, thanks.
Nothing like warm
vodka to top off the day.
- Would you get me my slippers, please?
- Slippers?
- What do you want your slippers for?
- I'm being buttered up for something.
I wanna take advantage of it before
I ruin the whole thing by saying no.
Joanie?
Hey, Joanie? I... Oh.
Hi.
You must be Mr. Bradford.
- Uh, oh, Dad, this is Matilda Bailey.
- Hi.
Listen, I have this wild
craving for sour cream.
Well, let's go see if we
can find some, hmm?
She's really very nice, Dad. You
know how it is when you're pregnant.
- Ha, ha.
- Only second hand.
We've invited her to be our
houseguest. I hope you don't mind.
Well, I guess it'll be
all right for a few days.
Dad, Matilda's manager
hassled her out of her apartment.
Who knows how long it's gonna
be till she finds another one?
She's all alone
with no place to go.
Mary, forget the slippers.
I don't wanna bargain.
- Hi.
- Oh, hello again.
- Well, I see that Joan fixed you up okay.
- Mm.
I never met anybody before that could
eat sour cream like that all by itself.
Really? Oh, it's terrific.
Not as good as it is with
raisins, but it's still pretty good.
Uh, aren't pregnant women supposed
to sit down a lot or something like that?
Well, I like to eat standing
up. It makes me feel less guilty.
I guess I don't have
too much self-control.
I think I know what you mean.
Is your husband
planning to stay here too?
- No.
- Oh, what a relief.
What I mean is, we don't
really have all that much room.
Is he, uh, out of town, huh?
He doesn't exist.
I've never been married.
- Ooh.
- Oh, you poor thing.
I didn't know that. I...
Mary never told me.
We'd be happy to let you stay
here until you find another place.
I mean, Mary should have
told me that you weren't married.
Oh, it's no big deal.
Frankly, from what I've seen of
marriage, it's not worth the effort.
Huh?
Well, I believe a person should
accept sole responsibility for her actions.
Yes, so do I.
I mean, responsibility
and I are old friends.
But what I mean is...
I know it's hard for you to accept the idea
of women bearing children out of wedlock.
I mean, even my parents
have a difficult time with it.
I find that older
people feel that way.
Yes, I'm getting
older every second.
But the plain and
simple of it is...
I planned on getting
pregnant and I got my wish.
But Californians
plan on earthquakes...
but I never met anybody
who wished for one.
Oh, it's not like that.
The times are changing, Mr. Bradford.
You might as well get used to it.
Why, I would not be at all surprised if
one of your own daughters just decided...
Matilda, please don't.
Don't say it.
It's hard enough getting
used to straight sour cream.
Mm.
Heh. You're putting me on.
You are putting me on?
Oh, Mary, of all the times to bring
home a stray, this has to be the worst.
Matilda is not a stray.
She happens to be
a very good friend.
And right now she happens
to need a place to stay.
And you happen
to be very selfish.
Well, how else am
I supposed to act?
I come home expecting to ask
Dad a very delicate question...
and your very good friend has him walking
through the halls talking to himself.
You know, Susan, your
problem is not with Matilda.
Your problem's
with your approach.
- What are you talking about?
- It's very simple.
Look, you wanna go skiing for the
weekend with Rick Henderson, right?
Mm-hm.
Okay, you don't ask
Dad, you tell Dad.
You see, by asking him, you
give him an opportunity to say no.
But if you tell him, you
take away that option.
Oh, I don't know. Hmm. I'm
gonna have to sleep on this one.
Susan, are you planning to
sleep in the same room with him?
- Ugh. Nancy.
- Oh!
Mm. Something smells great.
Oh, no, Matilda, no bread. You're
eating entirely too many starches.
Yeah, I know, but I
don't have any willpower.
Well, we're just gonna have to
keep an enormous eye on you.
- Would you put that on the table?
- Oh, sure.
Thank you. Ah-ah.
Honey, what did you
wanna talk about?
I'll get it.
Hello?
I just wanted
to tell you that...
One moment, please.
I'll see if she's in.
A Mr. Rick Henderson.
Honey, make it short,
okay? Dinner's on the table.
- Hello.
- Hi, it's me.
I'm over at the
reservation office.
I thought I'd double-check with
you before I paid the deposit.
Can you definitely go?
Yes. Definitely.
Great. Gotta run. I'll
catch you tomorrow.
Okay. Bye.
Dinner's on the table.
That is, if you're still hungry.
The idea is to totally relax
so that you save your strength.
And when you do feel a
contraction coming on...
use your breathing
to ease the pressure.
Mm-hm.
In theory, Matilda, what you're doing is
concentrating on everything but the pain.
- Okay?
- Yeah. Okay.
- So let's start with early labor, okay?
- Yeah.
All right. You feel a
contraction coming on.
Now, find your focal point.
Come on, Nicholas. You're on.
It's your big chance now, okay?
Now, it's very important for you
to remain very still and quiet, okay?
- What's a focus point?
- A "focal" point.
That is something that Matilda
stares at when she's in labor.
Oh. What's labor?
Nicholas, I think now is the time
for you to learn some facts of life.
Labor is...
um, something you
need a focal point for.
- Oh. Okay.
- You're on.
Ready? Contraction starts.
Take that cleansing
breath. That's good.
Good girl. Okay, don't
forget your effleurage.
That's it. There you go.
Joan, do you
realize how much...?
David, I didn't
know you were here.
I thought you were your mother.
And judging by the amount of
wash, I wasn't that far off, now, was I?
Well, I'm finding that moving out comes
with its own fair share of liabilities.
Yes.
And it also has its
own fair share of assets.
Speaking of which...
how is your love life?
You sound like a
mouthwash commercial.
Are you still seeing
that cute little redhead?
What's her name? Joyce?
- Jill.
- Jill.
No, she moved on and, uh... You
know, but I'm seeing a lot of, uh...
Well, several
other young ladies.
Boy, I'll tell you, sometimes
I really envy your generation.
You kids go out and
have a good time.
You do things that our
generation never even dreamed of.
Oh, you dreamed of them okay,
you just never did anything about it.
- David.
- Yeah?
Count your blessings. And
don't forget the prewash.
Joan, could I talk to you for a moment?
- Good girl, there you go.
Slow breathing. That's it.
And contraction ends.
Joan could you step
outside for a moment?
I think we should both
get a breath of fresh air.
- What is she doing in there?
- She's doing her Lamaze exercises.
- What did you wanna see me about?
- Hmm?
Oh, yes, yes. Look,
about our bank account.
It's the last two numbers
this side of the decimal.
Now look at our grocery
bill. Do you notice anything?
Yeah, I can't believe
the prices these days.
Mom? Dad?
Yes, dear?
I just wanted to let you know
that I'm going skiing this weekend.
- That's terrific.
- Yes, as long as you don't need any money.
Oh, no, no. I've
got enough, thanks.
Who are the other girls going?
Oh, no girls.
Um, anything wrong?
Well, you don't usually
go anywhere alone.
Well, I won't be alone. Rick
Henderson's gonna be there.
What? What do you mean?
What do you mean "be there"?
Well, he'll be in
the room next door.
The connecting room next door.
I just wanted to let
you know, that's all.
No, wait, that is not all.
Hey, I'll be back later
for the rest of my laundry.
Don't let me interrupt.
- Did you know your sister was planning...?
- Is planning.
Was planning to
go to Squaw Valley.
I'm going with a boy and
we're taking connecting rooms.
David, tell your sister
that she shouldn't go.
You shouldn't go.
I told her. Anything
else you want?
Susan, your father's just
trying to be understanding.
Please, don't apologize for me.
I am definitely not understanding
about these kind of things.
Dad, really, what can happen?
My back is k*lling me.
I'm going for a walk.
That's what could happen.
She could get a backache.
Dad.
I don't know, how else
were we supposed to react?
The times say be permissive.
Let them have their freedom,
let them do what they want.
They're only young once.
But connecting rooms,
away from home, a warm fire?
How can you be permissive
with your own daughter?
You know what I think? Hmm?
I think we should stay
out of it, that's what I think.
Susan's 19. She's
not a little girl anymore.
When she's a grandmother,
she'll still be my little girl.
You really think that
we should back off?
Don't you?
Coming.
Oh, hi. Are you alone?
Of course. Come on in.
You must think I'm
some kind of Casanova.
Oh, no, it's just when you left the
old homestead to move in here...
I figured you might
have an ulterior motive.
I had several. They
were all busy last night.
Yeah. Heh.
- Juice?
- Uh, no.
Help.
Your sister is about to make
the biggest mistake of her life...
and I'm running out of options.
Well, uh, you've
just lost another one.
Dad, I'm not gonna let you
pit me against my own sister.
Especially when
I agree with her.
I don't even know this
Rick Henderson boy.
And that's what I was wondering, if
maybe you could, uh, nose around...
you know, ask
questions, check him out.
You don't give up, do you?
It's not just me,
David, it's your mother.
This thing is really coming
between Susan and your mother.
- Hello.
- Hi, did I wake you up?
No, no, I've been up a while.
Good, I wanna talk to you
about your father and Susan.
This weekend thing has
kind of come between them.
Heh. No, I didn't know that.
Yeah. Look, I'm trying to find
a way to defuse the situation.
If you come up with any
brainstorms, will you let me know?
Yeah, yeah. Sure, you bet.
David, is there
someone there with you?
Well, uh, sort of, yeah.
Listen, I know when to split. We'll
talk about this some other time.
- I'll talk to you later, okay?
- Don't mention anything to your mother.
And don't you dare say a word
about this to your father. Bye.
Goodbye.
Now, remember, Stan, no last
names. Just introduce me as David.
I got the scenario.
Until I can tell my parents that
this guy isn't an a* m*rder*r...
I'm not gonna get peace.
If this works out, I'll be known as the
Henry Kissinger of your sister's sex life.
Henry's been replaced, Stan.
Yeah.
Oh. There he is.
Let's get this over with.
Hey, Rick, how you doing?
Fine. Here are the notes you wanted.
- Thanks a lot.
I still don't see why I couldn't
drop them by the dorm.
Because then I couldn't have
bought you a beer and thanked you.
This is David,
Rick. Rick, David.
- How you doing?
- Sounds like a rerun of Ozzie and Harriet.
I'll go get some beers.
Nice place.
- Come here often?
- Once in a while.
Lots of action.
Heh. Yeah.
Yeah, but for real action,
give me a ski lodge any time.
- You ever go to Squaw Valley?
- Yeah.
I figured. Well, I mean, you look like a
skier. You've got that sun-bronzed look.
Where do you usually
stay up at Squaw?
A friend of mine has an interest
in this place, Crestline Lodge.
Oh, yeah, I hear there's
a lot of action there.
It's a nice place.
Look, pal, I don't know if
you're always this nosey...
or you're just trying to make small
talk, but if I were you, I would just...
Don't get uptight. Just
trying to be friendly.
David, hi.
Listen, I left a message with Joanie
for her to have Susan call me, okay?
But if you see her first, will
you tell her it's really important?
Yeah, sure. CHRIS:
Okay? All right, thanks.
Chris, Rick Henderson.
Rick, Chris Butler. RICK: Hi.
Hi. Rick Henderson?
Susan's told me all about you.
Don't forget, okay? It's
really important. Please.
Okay, I gotta go. I'll
check you out later. Bye.
Joanie and Susan...
and David.
Okay.
Your name couldn't
be Bradford, could it?
Listen, I'm not sure
how to explain this.
Try straight.
Yeah. Okay.
I had Stan bring me here, uh...
because I wanted to
check up on you, that's all.
I can't believe Susan
would put you up to this.
Susan had nothing
to do with this.
All right, I made a mistake.
But I'm a concerned brother. Susan
never did anything like this before.
Like what?
Like whatever it is you and Susan
are going to do between skiing...
and, uh, more
skiing, that's what.
To the ladies, huh, guys?
Cheers.
Since when is a weekend skiing with a
boy something to be ashamed of, huh?
Since Dad thinks you're
gonna become another Matilda.
If I wanted to get in
that kind of trouble...
I wouldn't have to go all
the way to Squaw Valley.
Well, I don't think that kind of
reasoning is gonna help your case.
Morning.
I, um, think I'll go
get some breakfast.
All set for your weekend?
Yup, all set.
You all set on going too?
David tells me Rick's
a very nice young man.
Couldn't keep from
checking him out, could you?
Come on, Susan. For once, I
wish you'd understand my side.
I do. Nothing's changed, has it?
You know, Susan, in this
wonderful age of liberation...
a lot of women feel tremendous
pressure to, um, be equal...
to feel free and aggressive.
The only pressure I
feel is from this family.
How do you mean?
Everybody's always jumping
to conclusions, taking sides.
Okay, you and Dad say one thing,
Mary and Nancy say something else...
David makes his jokes: Ha-ha-ha.
Tommy asks his questions.
Mom, I don't know what's gonna happen
this weekend. I'm just playing it by ear.
Your father and I do not
mean to interfere but...
No. There's no "but."
I mean, this is my decision
and my life and there's no "but."
Well, I think our
mother-daughter talk has ended.
I certainly hope so.
Remember, now, be extra careful.
I will, Nicholas, and thank you.
Hey, what's the problem?
Parents.
- They're always telling you what to do.
- That's their job.
Ours is deciding whether or not
what they tell us makes sense.
Yeah, well, let me
give you a warning.
Next time Mary tries to give you some
of her good advice, tell her to sit on it.
Mary made me a sandwich once
that looked like someone sat on it.
Nicholas, sometimes you
can be really yucky. Mm.
Not as yucky as that sandwich
was. It was all yucky and mushed up.
It was still okay.
- Good morning, girls.
- What will you have?
Oh, just a sweet roll and coffee.
I'm not too hungry this morning.
I shouldn't wonder.
We heard that you had David
check out Susan's boyfriend.
A parent should never
mix in his daughter's affairs.
I didn't mix in her affairs.
Please don't use that word.
You did too, Daddy.
Personally, I think Susan should be
allowed to make her own mistakes.
- There aren't any sweet rolls.
- What? There's got to be.
I saw a whole package of them
there last night before I went to bed.
Yeah, so did Matilda.
I wanted some myself.
All right, then I'll just
settle for coffee and peace.
Here's your coffee.
The peace, you'll have
to arrange for yourself.
Morning.
Oh, hi.
Glad to see you're keeping
up with your exercises.
Well, I'm not so sure my exercises
are keeping up with my eating habits.
I just can't thank you guys
enough for letting me stay here.
I don't know what I
would've done otherwise.
Matilda, what are you
gonna do afterward?
Afterwards?
Oh.
- You mean when it's just me and my baby?
- Mm-hm.
Try to be a good mother.
Well, I'd like to say that's
an incomplete answer.
But it's honest.
I appreciate your helping
me with a place to stay...
but I'm not so sure I
appreciate your concern.
Matilda, I think what I am
trying to say is that, uh...
well, I've been
there eight times.
And I'm just hoping that some
of my unappreciated concern...
might come in handy someday.
I'm having one baby, not eight.
Well, does that make
it any less important?
Could you hand me that bag?
Thanks.
Mary's been after me to pack
my Lamaze bag just in case.
- She's a tough coach.
- You should see her on the football field.
- Look. My focal point.
- Aw.
- Ha, ha.
- Nicholas loaned it to me this morning.
That is his favorite T-shirt in
the whole wide, wide world.
Oh. I figured it was kind of important
when he warned me not to break it.
You got a wonderful
family, Mrs. Bradford.
Why is it families like yours
always belong to other people?
Oh, not that my own
family made me bitter.
Only wiser.
A lot wiser.
Anyway...
getting pregnant
wasn't an accident.
It was a conscious choice.
And I know I'm gonna
be a good mother.
Matilda, it's gonna take an awful lot
of strength to raise a child on your own.
I know all that.
And I think about
it all the time...
but it doesn't help.
The problem with
getting married...
is it doesn't come with a
money-back guarantee.
Who's to say it's gonna turn
out like yours and Mr. Bradford's?
You don't know until
you give it a chance.
But first, I have to
give my way a chance.
And if it doesn't work out...
then I'll be the
first to admit it.
Oh, Matilda...
please know that
we're your friends...
and if it doesn't work out for
you, we'll always be here to help.
Okay?
Okay.
Thanks.
Joan, Susan is gone. Her
suitcase is gone, her skis are gone.
Now we're going. Give
me the keys to the wagon.
Tom, now, just calm down.
We're not gonna go
driving up to Squaw Valley.
It's not a 1920s melodrama.
Whatever happens happens.
Oh, isn't that nice, Joan?
You're being very logical, very mature,
very adult. I commend you for that.
- Well, thank you.
- Right. Now give me the keys to the car?
Oh, excuse me.
I'm feeling energetic, so I thought
I'd go look at a couple apartments.
Yes, well, we might not
be here when you get back.
- The keys.
- No.
Anybody see Mary?
Oh, she's at her study group.
Oh.
Well, maybe you can tell me.
How do you like Jedediah for a
boy or Genevieve for a little girl?
Pregnant women
should not name children.
- Jedediah?
- Jedediah's pretty.
You don't like Jede...?
Oh. JOAN: Okay, come on.
It's all right. Don't
be scared. Sit down.
It's okay. Relax.
- Just take it easy.
Now, find a focal point.
And breathe deeply
and concentrate.
- Right.
- Right, okay.
Inhale, that's right,
and out your mouth.
Inhale. Out your
mouth. That's good.
You're doing just
fine. Very good.
Now, relax.
Oh, wow, it kind of
takes you by surprise.
- You okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine except...
- Ah. Oh, here it comes again.
- Okay, okay. Focus. Focus.
Now, take a cleansing breath.
Keep it slow.
That's right.
Either her contractions are
very irregular or very close.
Let's leave that up to the experts. Go
get her coat and bag. Call the hospital.
All right, now.
And get the keys to the car.
All right. You're
doing just fine.
It's almost over.
I'm scared, Mr. Bradford.
Okay, we're here.
- That wasn't bad, huh?
- No, not yet.
Okay.
- Do they know we're coming?
- They know we're coming.
Everything is all set.
- Nothing to worry about.
- I'm not worried.
All right, easy.
She's all right. TOM: I
know, I know. I always do that.
Dr. Sing, please go
to the orthopedic wing.
- Now I'm out of dimes.
- Any luck?
All bad. Joan is checking the
campus. Nancy's got the library.
Elizabeth is calling friends.
Where is Mary when we need her?
Oh, honey, it's not her fault.
- Why don't you just relax?
- I know, I know.
This place had the same
issues when Nicholas was born.
Excuse me. Are
you the Bradfords?
Yes, why? Is something wrong?
Oh, nothing serious. I'm
Dr. Abbott, Matilda's OB.
Matilda's progressing nicely.
But she is experiencing
some severe back labor...
and the pain is kind
of wearing her out.
But you said it was
nothing serious.
Mr. Bradford, we don't
call it labor because it's fun.
Now, there's a good
nurse in attendance...
but I think she'd feel better if there
was someone with her she knew.
Our daughter was supposed
to be her labor coach...
Oh, Joan, maybe you ought to go.
I think that would
be a good idea.
Well, Mr. Bradford,
Matilda asked for you.
Nurse, would you show Mr. Bradford
where to change for the labor room?
- Yes, doctor.
- I'll see you in a bit.
Have you done this
before, Mr. Bradford?
Oh, if he told you how many
times, you'd think he was crazy.
- And she'd be right.
- Please follow me.
The changing room is on the
left and down the end of the hall.
Dr. Regan, go to X-ray please.
Junior's doing fine.
How about you?
- I'm kind of dry.
- Oh.
Thanks.
I often thought they should put a
couple of sh*ts of Scotch into that bowl.
- Mom.
- Come on, Nance.
- Mom, Mom. NANCY:
Did she have it yet?
I lied about my age
so they let me in.
- Mom, what's happening?
- Just keep it cool, keep it cool.
Everything is fine. You just
have to relax and be patient.
- We couldn't find Mary.
- We left her a note.
- Where's Daddy?
- Am I too late?
Well, where's Matilda?
I'm supposed to be with her.
Mary, Mary, calm down. Your
dad's with her. Everything's fine.
- What?
- You're kidding.
- Daddy?
- What does Daddy know about childbirth?
Were all your kids delivered
by natural childbirth?
Oh, no. When we started, it was
definitely not the in thing to do.
The first five, I said
goodbye to Joan at the door...
went across the street,
had a couple beers...
then came back to find out if I
should get a pink or blue blanket.
Oh, all right, all right. All
right, pant. Okay, breathe.
All right.
Pant, pant, pant, breathe.
Pant, pant, pant, breathe.
Pant, pant, pant,
breathe. That's it.
Atta girl. That's
fine. Very good.
Oh, there, you're doing just
great. That's not so bad, is it?
Is that what you said
to your wife each time?
"There, now, that
wasn't so bad"?
Yeah, I suppose I
did, come to think of it.
Well, you're lucky
she didn't k*ll you.
Keeping me alive has
been her sweetest revenge.
Oh, wow, I'll be so
glad when this is over.
Matilda, sweetheart...
when it's over,
it's just beginning.
All right. Okay. Easy now.
Atta girl.
Dr. Schmutzer, report
immediately to emergency surgery.
Dr. Schmutzer, report
immediately to emergency surgery.
Would anyone care to see an
8-pound 5-ounce fighting Irishman?
Dad, you did it.
Oh, let's see.
Oh, how precious.
- He's lovely.
- Dad, you did it.
Mwah. I'm proud of you.
After Nicholas, I swore I'd never
go through anything like this again...
but, honey, even for
an old veteran like me...
it's very special.
I gotta go blow my nose.
I'm gonna go call
Matilda's parents, okay?
Isn't he beautiful?
- Look at him. MARY:
Daddy did a beautiful job.
Look at the size of those toes.
Oh, he's beautiful,
Mom, he really is.
I know he is.
His little hands and
those fingernails.
Well, the kids are all
checked in for the night.
The boys made me tell
the whole story again.
And I promised them that we
would take them to see the baby.
- Are you all right?
- Hmm?
Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay.
Just wondering about Susan.
Oh, Tom, it's been a long day.
Let's go to bed. Come on.
- I'll grab these, you grab your stuff.
- Okay.
Nicholas, give me
back Johnny Bench.
Hey, stop.
No running in the house.
Come on, Nicholas.
And, Tommy, thanks for
getting the paper like I asked.
Call me, okay? - Yeah, I will.
What happened? Why
are you back so soon?
- If he did anything to...
- Daddy, nobody did anything.
Then why are you standing here?
Why aren't you schussbooming
up in Squaw Valley?
- There was no snow.
- What?
We went up to ski and there was no
snow. Guess we should've checked first.
Anyway, we figured we'd save our
money and try again in a few weeks.
If that's okay with you.
You went up skiing
and there was no snow.
I don't believe it.
I mean, I believe you.
It's myself that I don't...
Susan, I'm sorry I
was so hard on you.
It's just that I've been through all
this before with Mary and Joanie...
and it wasn't easy.
I doubt if it's going to be any
easier with Nancy or Elizabeth.
Boys are just a
lot simpler, I guess.
Heh. Well, with five daughters, I
guess that's just a cross you have to bear.
When you help someone
grow up for 19 years...
it all comes down
to trust, doesn't it?
Does that mean you don't mind me
going back up with Rick in a few weeks?
Oh, I mind.
It's a father's right.
You go wash up.
I'll fix you up the best breakfast
you ever had in your whole life.
Oh, great. Can we have waffles?
Yes, and hot cocoa and
bacon, anything you want.
Oh, Matilda's parents are
flying in from Los Angeles.
We'll pick them up on our way
to see Matilda and her baby.
Oh! She had it already? Why
didn't she wait for me? What was it?
For her sake, thank
God, it wasn't a daughter.
Oh, Dad.
Susan's home!
- Hi, Tom, what have you got?
- Oh, a little something.
What did you buy?
Sweet rolls. Sour cream.
- Raisins, three boxes.
- Mm-hm.
- Peanut butter. Pickles?
- Uh-huh.
- What'd you buy all this for?
- Oh, just replenishing our food supply.
With Matilda gone, I can be reasonably sure
that some of this stuff will be around...
- if I should have a craving.
- Ah.
Yeah, she's so happy. She called
today. She loves that apartment.
Not as happy as
I am, believe me.
I love her, but she was eating
us out of house and home.
There is a dog in my room.
There's a what? MARY: A dog.
Oh, Tommy... Oh-ho-ho.
Do you know anything about this?
- Well, sort of. JOAN: What
do you mean, "Well, sort of"?
Well, her name's Felicia
and she didn't have a home.
I thought since we were
taking in pregnant women...
we might as well take
in pregnant dogs too.
I think she's due any day now.
Tommy, are you
kidding? Why my room?
Where else would I put her?
Anywhere but here.
- Get rid of her, son.
- Oh, Tom, don't be cruel.
You can't send that poor
little puppy out in the cold.
I knew it wouldn't last.
This house is turning into
a home for unwed mothers.
Show me our new guest.
You'll love her, Mom. - Yeah?
Hold it.
You'd better take this.
Our expectant mother
may be famished.
01x02 - Schussboomer
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The show was modeled on the life of syndicated newspaper columnist Tom Braden, a real-life parent with eight children, who wrote a book by the same title.
The show was modeled on the life of syndicated newspaper columnist Tom Braden, a real-life parent with eight children, who wrote a book by the same title.