05x02 - Human Element

[bunniefuu]

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Come in.

Ah, Governor,
I've got a problem.

Have you seen
Miss Kraus?

Yeah, but that's
another problem.

I mean, she's supposed
to bring me my lunch.
I'm starving.

So, what's up?

Ah, well the budget.

Specifically
that section dealing
with the school system.

Now we're
about percent...
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Oh, excuse me,
just a second.

Come in.
That must be
my sandwich.

Gentlemen.

Oh, I see
you ordered turkey.

Governor, this awaits
your signature.

Thank you.
Have you seen
Miss Kraus?

Mmm, I heard something
clumping down the hall.

Ah, Benson by the way,
I have yet to receive

my copy of the
new state budget.

There's a good
reason for that.

I haven't
finished it yet.

(CHUCKLES) It's due before
the legislature within a week.
What's holding you up?

What's holding me up
is I'm trying to find
enough money

to run our schools
this year.

(SCOFFS) It's a perfectly
simple solution, Benson.

Find some waste
and eliminate it.

I'm going
to miss you, Clayton.

We're gonna need even
more money in the future.

People are having
children again.

Yes, as opposed
to puppies and kittens.

There's a baby boom.

We're going to have
more children to educate.

Well, I know if I had children
they'd be in private school.

Clayton, if you
had children

they'd be in
Ripley's Believe It or Not!

Here's your lunch,
Governor.

Thank you, Miss Kraus.

Uh, sir, I, I still need
that signature.

Wait a minute,
wait a minute,
I was here first.

Governor, our problem
is that the student
population is shifting

and our schools
are underutilized.

Well, this is terrible.
I know.

There isn't any tomato
in this sandwich.

That I didn't know.

Sorry, Governor.

It's just that I had
my heart set on a BLT.

This is really
only a BL.

When you get
right down to it,

it's the "T" that makes
the sandwich what it is.

Uh, you are
absolutely right, sir.

Of course, that is assuming
you can find decent tomatoes.

There's nothing wrong
with my tomatoes!

I'm going to pass up
this golden opportunity

in the interest of
getting back to business.

Right, let's get
back to business.

I'll get you another
sandwich, Governor.

Hey, guess what,
guess what?

Pete, couldn't
this wait?

Governor, how would you
like to have a robot?

I'd rather have a tomato.

No, no, no, this is
the Jesmin Industries
Mobile Microprocessor.

It's called JIMM.

I just read about that.

It's the most sophisticated
computerized robot
ever produced.

Oh, we've got him
for a whole month.

I thought it would be
a good publicity idea
for the State Science Expo.

Well, I don't know, Pete.

What exactly does
this robot do?

Yeah. Does he
take meetings?

You'll love him.
He can do anything.

He's even programmed
to do kitchen stuff. Hmm.

Forget it, buster.

The machine has not been
invented that can replace me.

What about
a dump truck?

I'm telling you,
one wrong beep from
this talking toaster,

und I pull its plug.

Now getting back
to the subject...

So the robot is
okay with you, Governor?

All right, Pete,
go ahead, set it up.

Oh, great!

Now, getting back
to the subject...

Yes, sir, I still need
this signature.
Ooh!

(STAMMERING) What is it?

I've got to get something
to eat. I'll be right back.

CLAYTON: Sir...

(LAUGHING) I don't know
why I put up with this.

There are people
in the private sector

who are begging
for my services.

And they're willing
to pay me what I'm worth.

Yeah, I'm sure
they are.

But who can live
on that kind of money?

Oh, the coffee's
not ready yet.

Kraus!

Coffee will complete
its brew cycle

in one minute
and seconds.

You do something
to your hair again, Kraus?

I am not the
biochemical unit Kraus.

I am JIMM.

Jesmin Industries
Mobile Microprocessor.

Well, I'm pleased
to meet you. I'm Benson.

I am pleased to make
your acquaintance.

(CHUCKLES)

Well, enchante

C'est mon plaisir, aussi.

Oh, you speak
French, too.

Actually, I speak
languages
and dialects,

not counting
machine languages.

(BEEPING)
Coffee's ready.

Ah, good morning, Kraus.

Goodbye, Benson.
I'm off.

I hope it was
something I said.

(SCOFFS)

My leaving has nothing
to do with you.

You don't mind
if I take the credit.

The reason I am leaving,
dear friend,

is because JIMM
did all my work for me.

He's the best helper
I ever had.

Thank you, Miss Kraus.

Oh, no, no.
(CHUCKLES)

Thanks to you,
I am free to take the morning
off and go to the zoo.

Homesick?

Now I'm leaving
because of you.

Good. For a moment there
I thought I'd lost my touch.

Auf wiedersehen, JIMM.

That's very
impressive, JIMM,

but I imagine
you must have a lot
of trouble with your neck.

Occasionally I cr*ck
a ball socket.

Hmm, well,
that must be very painful.

How do you work anyway?
What are all these gadgets?

Warning, warning!
Do not touch
my input device.

If you don't want
your input device
touched, JIMM,

you shouldn't
be flashing it.

Hi, Benson.

Hey, Katie.

Hi, JIMM. Do we still have
a date this afternoon?

Affirmative, Katie.

JIMM's gonna me
figure out which
access method

to use on my
new database program.

Oh, I see you two
speak the same language.

For sure, for sure.

That's just great.
A valley robot.

See you guys later.
Okay.

Hi, handsome.

Hey, Denise.

Oh, hi, Benson.

I've got the expense estimates
for the school budget

from data processing
this morning.

Let's have a look.

As you can see,
it's divided
by school districts.

Yeah, but the machine
went off the bottom
of the page.

I can't tell
what the total is.

Oh, that's okay.
I can add it up.

$,,.

And cents!

Ooh, shame you two
can't have children.

(DENISE LAUGHS)

JIMM, you're terrific.

You do everything
but play the piano.

Hop on my platform, Denise.
We can boogie.
Oh, my.

(DISCO MUSIC PLAYING)

(LAUGHING)
Thank you, JIMM.

JIMM, oh, Benson,
get this.

What is the square root
of , divided by ?

The answer is ..

(LAUGHING)
He's been right all morning.

Just can't trip him up.

Governor, I still need
to speak with you

on that school
budget proposal.

I can't, Benson,
I'm on my way to the Capitol.

Well, what about
over lunch?

No, I got to talk
at the rotary,

but leave the proposal
on my desk,

and I'll look at it later.

All right, I'll leave
the afternoon open for you.

But before I go,
JIMM, in ,

what state had the greatest
number of milk cows?

Wisconsin, ,,.

(ALL LAUGHING)

You try it, Benson.

Yeah?

Name 'em.

I'm not sure
I understand this, JIMM.

How do you come
to this conclusion?

Given the
aforementioned variables,

I project
the present situation
will sustain itself

for a minimum
of eight weeks.

You really think
the White Sox
are gonna take it all?

Uh, Governor,
can you spare
some time now?

Our discussion is concluded.
You may enter.

Thank you.

Sure, Benson,
come on in.

JIMM and I were just
talking baseball.

He knows everything.

It's only natural.

My creator
is a sports enthusiast
and fitness expert.

Yeah, well,
I bet my creator
can b*at up your creator.

What'd you want
to discuss, Benson?

Well, Governor,
I'm still having
some trouble

solving the problems
in the school budget.

I'm afraid we're going
to have to have
an extension

before we go
to legislature.

Extension?

Benson, we are down
to the wire as it is.

Come Monday, this state's
gonna be without a budget.

I know, but I don't want
to make any hasty decisions.

You know, I have reviewed
most of your budget data
with JIMM here.

He could be of help to you.

Well, maybe so, but this is
more than facts and figures.

Well, all right,
I'll call Senator Chapman
about the extension.

Okay, and I'll keep plugging
away at the budget.

But you know, Benson,
you really shouldn't
resist using JIMM.

He's the shape
of things to come.

Well, if so,
they're gonna have
to start making bigger hats.

Benson, I cannot believe

that you still haven't
completed work on
the school budget.

Thank you
for dropping in, Clayton.
Goodbye.

A delay like this could be
very costly to the Governor.

Are you gonna get out
of my office,

or do I have to call
an exorcist?

All right, Benson...

(TOILET FLUSHES)

Well, it certainly
took you long enough.

I've repaired
your sanitation unit.

Oh, this is terrific,
the three of you together.

Listen, I want to take
some publicity sh*ts.

I have a better idea,
take a hike.

Well, Benson, come on,

this robot's the best idea
I've had all year.

Now give me a break.

I don't have time, Pete.
I'll take candid sh*ts.

I've got work to do.

Yeah, Ah-ah, work
which should have been
done a long time ago.

In fact if JIMM
were doing it,

I'm sure it would
have been done. (SCOFFS)

Actually, he could
probably do the entire
budget director's job

more efficiently.
Isn't that right, JIMM?

(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)

Based on a comparative
performance-capability study

between a human
and a Jesmin Industries
Mobile Microprocessor,

that is a logical statement.

JIMM, you're beginning
to get on my nerves.

JIMM, could you lean in and
put your arm around Benson?

Okay, that's it.
Pete, you and the Tin Man
get out of here,

and take the Wizard of Oz
with you.

It really is amazing

how some people are
so threatened by technology.

Tell me about it.

Come on, JIMM, let's go
where we're wanted.

Oh, JIMM, there you are.

I've been looking
all over for you.

Oh, Governor, did you talk
to Senator Chapman
about that extension?

Yes, he said
he'd give it to you.
Good.

When hell freezes over.

Actually, Benson,
I didn't want Chapman
to get the upper hand,

so I'm gonna go
with JIMM's suggestion.

You're going to what?

Don't take that attitude.

You should hear
what he's come up with.

You see, he feels that...

Well, it's your idea, JIMM,
so why don't you tell him?

All schools that do not
operate at % capacity
will be shut down.

Well, won't that be
kind of confusing

when the students show up
and find the doors locked?

Those students will be
reassigned to other schools

so that all educational
institutions operate

at or near % capacity.

We're talking about people,
microbrain!

Benson,
JIMM is trying to help.

Well, Governor, I think
that our first consideration

ought to be the welfare
of the students.

Well, we think so, too.

We?

Which is why
I want to rush
this budget through.

We've got to save money.

$. million, to be exact.

Why don't you go play
in an electrical storm?

Benson, I have made up
my mind about this.

JIMM's abilities are unique.

I feel secure
with his budget proposal.

But, Governor...

Now that's all, Benson.

Okay, all right, fine.

You and the pinball machine
can go work on the budget,

and I'll be in
the kitchen consulting
with the waffle iron.

Nice color.

I hate it.

So do I. I just didn't
want to make you feel bad.

Have you totaled the
figures on the household
maintenance budget?

JIMM's doing it.

But I didn't tell you
to give those figures
to JIMM.

I know.
The Governor did.

But I need him to work
on the administrative budget.

No, you don't.
JIMM's doing that, too.

This is ridiculous.

JIMM's doing
the school budget,

JIMM's doing
the administrative budget.

The only thing JIMM
isn't doing is your nails.

Psst, psst, Benson,
come, come, come!

What is it?

Benson,
I need your help.

We must rid ourselves
of that meddlesome robot.

I thought you
and he were buddies.

(CHUCKLING)
Not anymore.

That little tin
Judas on wheels

is trying to
take away my job!

Well, I didn't know he had
been programmed to grovel.

That's very funny,
but you'll change your tune

when he tries
to take away your job.

He already has.

Benson, there's only
one thing left to do.

We have got
to k*ll the robot.

What are you talking about?

Now, now, now,
I've thought it all out.

You distract him,
and I'll push him
down the stairs.

Distract him.

What do you want me to do,

dress up in tinfoil and go
"Coochie, Coochie, Coochie?"

Well, if it works, do it!

Clayton, get a hold
of yourself. What happened?

Well, it... It all started
innocently enough.

The Governor asked
JIMM to organize
his appointment calendar.

You're kidding.

Well, that wasn't so bad.
It's just busywork.

But then he asked him
to store the names

of all the political
and civic leaders,

their likes, their dislikes,
their birthdays... Benson...

(CRYING)

I have always been
in charge of the
important-peoples list.

I know, I know, I know that.
That's terrible, Clayton.

You haven't heard
the worst of it.

He's even cracked
my secret code.

What code?

My maitre d'code.

Now he knows the names
of all the great restaurants,
the best tables.

Benson, what does
the Governor need me for?

(SOBBING)

Come on, come on, come on,
Clayton. Just, come on.

Try to, try to...
(SOBBING)

Come on, just, just...
Just calm down.

Now, just try to pull
yourself together.

Stop sniffling.
Come on.

Here, have a tissue.

(WHIMPERING)
Thank you.

Well, we'll do something
about the robot.

What?

Well, I don't know.

Maybe we'll try to talk
to the Governor again.

We can't!
JIMM makes
all his appointments.

Well, come on,
let's go to the kitchen.

Have a cup of coffee.
We'll think of something.

And if we don't?

We'll push him
down the stairs.

I just feel useless.

JIMM's doing everything
I used to do.

I tell you,
he's the best idea
I've ever had.

He balanced
my checkbook this morning.

You could've done
that yourself, Pete.

It only takes minutes
to balance a checkbook.

Not if you haven't done it
for eight years.

(SNIFFLING)
Think, Benson, think.

I can't think, Clayton,

if you're gonna keep whining,
"Think, Benson, think."

Well, we've got
to get rid of that...

(SHUSHING)

Scrap metal at 'o clock.

Hi, JIMM.

Hi, guys, what's up?

Don't you ever
speak to me again.

What did I do?

I'm not talking
to you, either.
DENISE: Mmm-hmm.

They're upset about...
JIMM?

Yes, Pete?

Don't bring him
over here.

Nothing, JIMM.
Nice job on the checkbook.

What are you guys
mad at JIMM for?

We're not mad at JIMM.

We're going to k*ll him.

But we're not mad
at him.

Well, then,
what's going on?

Well, we're just upset

because the Governor seems
to be letting JIMM take over.

He's only doing
the menial, tedious stuff.
I think he's wonderful.

Well, robots are
a wonderful tool,

but that's all
they are is a tool.

They can't replace human minds
working on human problems.

Well, if you want my opinion,
you're overreacting.

Uh-uh, I agree
with them, Pete.

Denise, please,
this is man talk.

Benson, when you get through
with the robot,

do you mind
roughing up this jerk?

(LAUGHING) I can't believe
you guys are jealous
of a robot.

JIMM, could I see you
in my office, please?

Affirmative, Governor.

Hi, fellas.
ALL: Hey.

This will only take a second.

I wanted to talk to you
about that press release
you wrote this morning.

Press release?
Did you hear that?

He had the robot
write a press release.

I don't know
what you're getting
so excited about.

It's just one of those
menial, tedious jobs.

Denise, did you hear that?

No, I wasn't listening,
man talk.

Okay, okay,
I get the point.

I'm with you now.
How do we k*ll him?

He's a machine.
We can't k*ll him.

But we can break him.

All right, where is
that two-timing tin turkey?

Did you and toggle-head
have a lover's quarrel?

Put it in a sock, Benson.
I'm in a lousy mood.

That robot has
pushed me too far.

It looks like
he dragged you a bit, too.

I have just come
from the butcher shop.

He changed my entire order.
He's taken over all my duties.

The next thing you know,

JIMM will be head of household
affairs und I'll be nothing.

Well, we're all
in the same boat.

Well, I am through talking.

I'm going to take that
overeducated mailbox apart
with a hacksaw.

That's the way to talk,
Miss Kraus.

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

All right,
all right, all right.

Now, this is ridiculous.
We're blaming a machine.

The real problem
is the Governor.

He's so impressed
with JIMM's ability

that he's forgotten
what it is we do for him.

What can we do to change
the Governor's mind?

Simple, starting tomorrow,
we're going to remind him
of what it is we do for him.

Where is everybody?

Phones must be
out of order.

Denise, I...

Benson.

Kraus.

Miss Kraus!

Where the heck is everybody?

Benson, what's going on?

Well, I don't know.
I've just been
out playing golf.

Came by to clean out
my desk.

Clean out your desk, huh?

Benson,
I demand an explanation.

Well, didn't
JIMM tell you?
JIMM?

Yeah. You know,
the tall, bug-eyed guy
with the aluminium suit.

What about him?

Well, we had a meeting
last night,

and it was decided that it
wasn't cost-effective

to keep all of us
on the payroll

as long as JIMM
was doing the work.

So you all decided
to resign.

Oh, no. As soon
as we brought it to
JIMM's attention, he fired us.

Oh, that's ridiculous.

I want everybody
back here tomorrow morning.

Well, now, wait a minute,
Governor,

shouldn't we look
at this, uh, logically?

There's nothing to be
gained by hanging on
to nonessential personnel.

What do you mean
by nonessential personnel?

Well, here's JIMM now.
It's his idea.
Let him tell it.

JIMM, could you define
nonessential personnel for us?

Those employees
whose prime function

is the interpretation
of data.

This function is more
efficiently performed
by a machine.

Mmm. Could you scan
the personnel file
and give us an example?

Stand by.

Downey, Peter J.

No.

DuBois, Benson,
no middle initial.

Oh, now, just a minute here.

Endicott III, Clayton R.

This is ridiculous.
I need these people.

Gatling, Eugene X.

I can't get along...

Gatling, Eugene X.
That's me.

How can I be defined
as nonessential personnel?

Well, let's face it.

The Governor's job
is to interpret data.

The way JIMM sees things,

that job could be done
better by a machine.

Is that basically it,
JIMM?

Affirmative.

JIMM, how could you
say such a thing?

I have a Vox pack -octave
speech synthesizer.

No, no, no, no,
no, no, laser breath.

He means why.

It's logical.

But my decisions
affect the lives of people.

If we based every decision
on facts and figures,
that would be...

Inhuman?

Benson.

I think
you've made your point.

What point?

I've been relying
a little too much on JIMM.

Oh, yeah,
that was my point.

I would like to meet
with you

to discuss your proposals
for the school budget,
'o clock.

Fine, Governor.

I think we need to study
this problem

from a more human
point of view.

Oh, and Benson...
Yeah.

Fire the robot.

It'll be my pleasure.

JIMM, how should I say this?

I get the feeling
you're not happy here.

I'm not programmed
for emotions.

Oh, I'm glad to hear that
because that'll make
this easier.

Is there something
I can do?

Uh, Jimmy, your services
here have been terminated.

Where will I go?
What will I do?

You're smart, JIMM.

Get together
with a few other appliances

and try to get
on Family Feud.

KRAUS: Oh, Benson,
I need your help.

What's the problem?

I have a loose screw.

At least we agree
on something.

No, no, I'm talking about
Wolfgang, my robot.

I sent away for a kit.

Gosh, didn't we have
enough trouble outta JIMM?

Yeah, but he had
a personality problem.

I'm going to whip
Wolfgang into shape.

Well, first you gotta
whip him into a robot.

That would be easy,
I have a mechanical mind.

Well, hopefully someday
you'll find the "ON" switch.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)