07x14 - Reel m*rder: Part 1

Episode transcripts for the TV series, "Benson". Aired: September 13, 1979 – April 19, 1986.*
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Spin off from Soap - Benson DuBois is hired to be the head of household affairs for widowed Governor Eugene X. Gatling and his daughter Katie.
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07x14 - Reel m*rder: Part 1

Post by bunniefuu »

[ wind whistling ]

Yeah, I know what you mean,
Sweetheart.

It's gotten hectic
Around here, too.

Yeah, the movie company.

Yeah, uh, listen.

Am I going to see you tonight?

Oh, well, it's not that bad.

They're not gonna close
The roads.

All right, uh, artie.

Artie, we're going to need
Some sh*ts of george kennedy

With the governor
And the lieutenant governor.

I know, clayton.
You sent me a memo.

Well, I can't talk to you now
About it.

Because I can't.

I'll see you at :.

Why are you people taking
Your clothes off in my office?

They're still re-papering
In my office.

Didn't you get a memo?

Clayton, didn't benson
Get a memo?

Of course.
I put it on his desk myself.

He probably threw it
In the trash.

Only if it had your name on it.

Now, the photo session
With mr. Kennedy

Has been moved
Into your office.

Now?
Now.

George kennedy filming
Right here in the mansion.

Oh, boy.
I can't wait.

I loved him in "Airport"

And "Cool hand luke,"
Oh, and "Charade."

Remember, he was the k*ller
With the hook?

Imagine shaking hands
With him.

Oh, I mean, not the k*ller --
George kennedy.

I've met george kennedy.
We were in the army together.

Uh-huh, yeah.
You and , other guys.

You know a big movie star,
And you never told anybody?

I don't believe it.

Yeah, we went to a lot
Of the same parties...

In korea.

He probably
Wouldn't remember.

Uh, I met basil rathbone
Once.

Miss kraus:
Here we are.

Oh, the roads from the airport
Were horrible.

Oh, mr. Kennedy,
What a pleasure to meet you

After so many happy hours
With you in the dark.

I mean...

Governor,
This is george kennedy.

Governor gatling.

How do you do, governor?

[ laughing ]
Well, you promised us snow.

We delivered, huh?

George, let me
Introduce everybody.

This is arthur duffy, the
Governor's staff photographer.

Arthur.

Und clayton endicott,
Our budget director.

[ laughs ]
How do you do, mr. Kennedy?

Fine.

You know, actually
[clears throat]

I've done a little bit
Of acting myself.

Yeah, you and ,
Other guys.

Corporal dubois?!

Lieutenant governor
Corporal dubois.

Benson!
I don't believe it!

I don't believe it either.

You've gotten even bigger --
If that's possible.

Lieutenant governor --
How about that!

This guy and I
Shared a foxhole

In a particularly
Unfriendly part of korea.

A very crowded foxhole.

Hey, corporal dubois, what shall
I do with this kimchi?

If it moves, sarge,
Slug it.

[ both laugh ]

Hey, how about that?
Benson knows george kennedy.

So what?
I know louis rukeyser.

I've got things
To attend to.

I still can't believe it --
Benson dubois!

What'd you say
Your name was?
[ laughs ]

If you gentlemen would just
Sit on the, uh, couch.

Oh, george.

You got here.
We were worried about the snow.

We all came in yesterday
Before it started.

Reba, how's it going?

Richard: reba!

Where were you?

I was just saying --

I don't know why the director
Has to go searching

For the producer
Every time something comes up!

Richard.

Oh, mr. Kennedy.

You decided to grace us with
Your presence on time today.

That's good.

Camera rehearsal for scene
Will be at : p.M. Promptly.

Be there.
Reba, you come with me.

I want you to see what your
Crazy art director's done now.

That's our director.
He's a lovely fellow.

[ chuckles ]
I met him.

Yeah, benson threatened to knock
Mr. Tracy's block off.

What did he do?

He keeps calling me
"Scatman."

What's with that guy,
Anyway?

Well, the last picture he
Directed went way over budget

And then lost money.

The money guys
On this picture...

Ain't likely to be
Too understanding.

Oh, they're real
Bottom-line guys, huh?

More like
Bottom-of-the-lake guys.

Oh, ho, ho!

[ camera shutter clicks ]

Hey --

[ indistinct conversations ]

All right, everybody,
This will be at --

Quiet!

[ conversations stop ]

Thanks.

I'd like to get this take
Before dinner.

Are you ready, street?

Yeah, I'm ready.

Great.
Roll film.

Rolling.

Speed.
We have speed, richard.

"Devil's workshop" --
Scene , take ,

Director richard alan tracy.

And action.

Freeze!

Cut.

Print that one.

Beautiful, watson.

Just perfect.

Ah, no.
It was a little off, man.

I can fly so much higher.
Let me try it again.

Look, man,
I got what I want,

And it costs us grand a day
To watch you fly.

Set up for a.

Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

You can't do that.
I want to do the bit again.

Mr. Street,
This is a film.

Film is a director's
Medium.

Actors should be seen
And not heard.

And comics should be
Neither.

No, no, no.

Either I do the bit again,
Or I walk!

Walk? What is this,
Your idea of a joke?

Well, just because we're working
In this podunk city

Does not give you the license
To act like an amateur.

Okay, okay, that's it.
I'm out of here.

You can't do this.

I'm out of here!

Hey --

You'll never work
In this town again!

Hopefully
None of us will.

How's it going?

Oh, hi, mr. Kennedy.

Watson street and the director
Are fighting.

No, no, katie.
They're not fighting.

They're just having...

Artistic differences.

Katie, how are you doing
With your lines?

Lines?
What lines?

Oh, haven't you heard?
Katie's in the movie.

She's ghost number one.

No kidding?

Ah, it's no big deal,
Only two lines.

What I'd really like to do
Is direct.

Hi, george.
Benson.

George benson?
Where?

Dickie has now
Opened hostilities

With your co-star, george.

Yeah, so I heard.

Well, come on, katie.

There's nothing happening
Around here.

Let's go get ready
For supper.

And miss watson street?

I think it's gonna be
A little while, katie.

Okay. sh**t.

Bye.

You look fine.

Thanks, maggie.

This is it, huh?

This is the exciting world
Of movie-making.

Looks more like the army --
Hurry up and wait.

The director is kind of like
A drill sergeant.

Only not as well-liked.

In hollywood,
If you've got a hit,

You've got lots of friends.

Well, in politics,
If you've got lots of friends,

You've got a hit.

Maggie seems to like him,
Though.

Well, they used
To be close.

When we were sh**ting in greece,
He dropped her.

Lucky woman.

[ laughs ]

All right, you slackers.

Let's do it again.
Scene , from the top.

Come on!

Move it.

This time, I'm gonna take a b*at
Longer with the lamp, okay?

Whatever you want,
Sweetheart.

Just do it, and I'll get it
To stick to film.

Tracy is going out of his way
To alienate street.

I'm gonna put a stop
To this.

Do think now
Is the right time?

[ sighs ]
You're right.

I hate
That balding egomaniac.

Even with hair,
It'd be tough to like him.

George, we are gonna be
A bit behind.

Street insists on a retake.

You know, television people.

No problem.

We'll just hang here,
Out of the way.

Great. Beautiful.

Uh, george, I really don't need
Gawkers around today.

Besides, I'm sure
Lieutenant governor dubois

Has other things
To take care of, right?

Bribes to count,
Tills to dip into.

Richard!
You're out of line.

I'm very sorry, benson.

It's all right, george.

I'm sure mr. Tracy
Would be more comfortable

With fewer witnesses.

Hold it, man.
What does that mean?

Get your hands off me.

I'm not finished
With you yet.

Trust me.
You're finished.

George.
Miss sennett.

Tracy,
I've put up with your nonsense

For three months
And four countries,

And I have had you
Right up to here!

Oh, george,
George, please!

One star trip at a time!

Right now, I've got to massage
Street's ego.

Clayton:
Well...

Who does he think he is

Talking to you like that,
A star of your magnitude?

Disgraceful.

[ clears throat ]

Listen, george.

Um, my, um -- my niece would
Love to have your autograph.

Man: quiet!

Roll film.

Rolling.

Speed.

"Devil's workshop" --
Scene , take .

The director's name,
Dodo-woman.

Director richard alan tracy.

[ clears throat ]

Action.

Freeze!

Ohh!

Cut!

Governor:
I-I'm sorry. We didn't know.

Who are these people?

Well, there should be
A sign!

Forget it!
What's the point?

I got to reload.

Wait a minute.
Give me that.

I sending this piece of film
To the coast.

We'll live with take one.

Street won't buy that.

I don't want
Those people breaking my legs

Because his highness
Didn't like his performance.

Hey, he wants to do
Another take.

And we're behind schedule.

Look, corky, just do your job
And keep your mouth shut.

What's that all about?

I think
We ruined the scene, art.

No, I mean that
Breaking-the-legs business.

Oh, haven't you heard?

There's a rumor that the money
People in hollywood are...

I hear we're, uh,
Snowed in?

Snowed in.
That's right.

Uh, I better
Go out to my car

And get the good lenses
Before they frost over.

I had my staff prepare some
Rooms for you and your crew.

Hope that's okay.

That's all this company needs
Is to be snowed in together.

What else could possibly
Go wrong?

[ electricity crackles ]

I wish you hadn't asked
That question.

[ keys jingling ]

We'll get that emergency
Generator running in no time.

Clayton: george, uh,
About that autograph?

[ electricity crackles ]

Say, what's going on?

He's dead.

Well, listen, that's okay.

Uh, I didn't see anything.

No, no, no, no.
I didn't do it.

...I said, "Well, in that case,
How much is the burro?"

[ laughs ]

What's going on?

Tracy's dead.

Why?
Why did you do it?

I didn't do it.

Reba, it's a little bit early
To be accusing anybody --

All right, now,
Let's just try to stay calm.

I'll call the police.

I knew your temper would get
You into trouble some day.

And your mouth is gonna get
You into trouble today.

The phone's dead.

We've been cut off.

What's, uh, going on?

Richard has gotten
Himself k*lled.

Ja.
Where were you, arthur?

I was outside, trying to,
Uh, get to my car.

Aha!

Aha?

I was hoping to trap him
Into a confession.

Oh, really?
Thank you, sherlock pinhead.

All right, all right,
Everybody.

Let's just move him
Into the storage room

Until we can call
The police.

Arthur, everybody,
Give us a...

Roll him gently.

Maybe we should --

No, no, no.

I guess we'll have to
Shut down, reba.

No, we can't do that.

We have to finished with
This location by wednesday.

B-but the man is dead.

You can't be worried
About a silly movie.

Corky, you can take over
And finish tomorrow's work.

Why not?
I finish up every day's work.

Good.
I'll go tell the crew.

And don't worry, corky --
You'll get the credit.

Wait a minute.
What is this?

Looks like an filter.

It was under the body.

He must have grabbed that box
Of filters when he fell.

Here, I'll put it away.

Ooh!

This must be
The m*rder w*apon!

Ohh!
It has blood on it.

And now it has
Your fingerprints on it.

And george's.

Oh.

Oh, um, ah, uh...

It's gonna be a very
Interesting m*rder trial.

The skillet testimony alone
Will take a day.

Wait a minute.

Who are we gonna get
To play the butler?

Oh, richard was gonna do that
As his cameo appearance.

How about somebody local?
It's not a very big part.

Can worry about casting later?

I mean,
I want to get out of here

Before somebody starts to juggle
The m*rder w*apon again.

Hold it.

If you need an actor,

Perhaps I can be persuaded
To assay the role.

Have you ever acted?

Every day of his life.

He can play the part.
He looks like a butler.

Now, how -- how about this?

Perhaps he is a playboy

Who has fallen on hard times
And has to be a butler.

Yeah, well,
We have to finish.

You've got the part.

Is that it?

If you'd have waited,
He'd have begged.

Well, george,

It looks like you and I
Are gonna be co-stars...

Sweetheart.

What do you think
Happened here, benson?

I think he just weaseled his way
Into your movie.

No, I mean the m*rder.

Ja, ja, did you notice
Anything suspicious?

You mean, other than the blood,
The w*apon, and the corpse?

Fine, fine.
I was only trying to help.

After all, benson,
You are the prime suspect.

You know something?
She's got a point.

George, george,
This isn't korea.

A m*rder investigation should
Not be handled by amateurs.

A w*r -- maybe.

Well, that's all right
Except for one thing --

We're snowed in,
The police can't get here,

We can't call out,

And there's a k*ller
Roaming the governor's mansion.

That's four things.

Benson, all I'm saying
Is that around here --

George, george,
I read your books.

You think life is like
A m*rder mystery?

I have never written a --

You read my books?

Sure.

What'd you think?

There's a k*ller loose,
And you want a book review?

Come on, benson.

Well, I liked them.

W-what do you mean,
"Liked"?

They were diverting.

What do you mean,
"Diverting"?

I appreciated them.
Come on, man.

You appreciated them?

[ sighs ]

I tell you, it's like
The worst night of my life --

Sleeping under the same roof
As a k*ller.

I think it was
That producer woman.

She is icy cold.

Well, if you ask me,
It's that corky character.

He has beady eyes.

Reba, I really
Want to tell you

How deeply I appreciate
This opportunity.

Oh, don't thank me.
Thank the late mr. Tracy.

Yes, well, I do have just --

Just a little problem
With the lines.

Mr. Endicott,
Clayton, this is a modern story.

Contemporary dialogue
Is punchy.

So just say the words,
Okay?

Fine. No, fine.
I'm just trying to help.

[ clears throat ]
Contemporary.

All right, everybody
Settle down, please.

This is a rehearsal.

Contemporary.
[ clears throat ]

And...Action!

That's you, mr. Endicott.

[ imitating marlon brando ]
Uh, the -- the doctor --

The doctor will, uh,
Join you in a moment.

[ laughs ]
What was that?

That's brando.

Brando?

Marlon brando?

No, no, mr. Endicott.
I need you to --

Clayton, uh, where did you
Get that scarf?

I just picked it up.

It's not a part of
This wardrobe.

Fine, maggie, that's all right.
Listen, mr. Endicott --

I need the scarf.
It helps me.

He needs the scarf.

Fine.
Just don't do brando, hmm?

Let's do this again, people.
Ready?

And...Action!

[ hoarsely ] the doctor
Will join you in a moment.

Gielgud.

No.

And...Action.

[ clears throat ]

The doctor
Will join you in a --

I'm sorry, but that just
Does not work for me.

All right.
That's lunch.

This sort of thing
Has never happened

In the governor's mansion.

Well, I'm not sure letting them
Continue with the filming

Was a good idea.

Well, I really
Didn't have time to object.

I don't suppose anything can
Happen in broad daylight.

Hiya, fellas.

Oh, hi, george.

I've been thinking about,
You know, the incident.

Oh, yeah, I've been thinking
About it, too.

I haven't been able to --
[ gasps ]

What?
What's that?

Oh. No, I'm rigged.
It's for the movie.

My death scene
Is after lunch.

Oh. Oh.

There is far too much v*olence
In movies.

There's far too much v*olence in
The kitchen, for that matter.

Hello, gentlemen.

Ah, we're on in five.

You gonna use that scarf
In the scene?

Yes.

What is it about this scarf?
It works for me.

I hope you realize
That when the police arrive,

You are gonna be
A prime suspect.

Oh, for goodness' sake.

Are you saying that people
Are gonna think that I --

Oh. [ scoffs ]
I'm the lieutenant governor.

[ laughs ]

Everybody knows
You had a fight with him.

That's right.

You're the one
That discovered the body,

Had the m*rder w*apon
In your hand.

But, george, I was --

And everybody knows
You have a quick temper.

I do not!

Benson, if you're in need
Of an attorney,

Just remember that I know the
Law like the back of my hand.

The only way I'm gonna need
An attorney

Is if you three
Are on the jury.

Now, benson,
Benson, benson.

The history of jurisprudence
Is replete with instances

Of totally innocent men
Who have gone to the chair

For crimes they didn't commit.

No, it's only in the realm
Of fiction and "B" movies

That the identity of the real
m*rder*r is arrived at

Through a clever
Interpretation of clues

By an amateur sleuth
In the final scene.
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