07x11 - Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Eight: Halloween II

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Riverdale". Aired: January 2017 to present.*

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"Riverdale" follows Archie and his friends, exploring small town life, the darkness and weirdness bubbling beneath its wholesome facade.
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07x11 - Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Eight: Halloween II

Post by bunniefuu »

[JUGHEAD] After my encounter
with the crazy cat lady

down the hall from Mr. Rayberry's,

I went back to Sheriff Keller.

But he wasn't buying what I was selling.

Walk me through this again.

Mr. Rayberry's neighbor

heard milk bottles the
night that he was k*lled.

Ethel saw a milkman the night
that her parents were m*rder*d.

So, if you put two and two together,

I think it's no sweat to say

that we have a k*ller milkman at large.

- Do you agree?
- Mr. Rayberry k*lled himself.

We have established that.

No, you have established that.
I have not established that.

Unless that neighbor

said that they saw someone

dressed as a milkman...

saw, not heard...

then I am not reopening

that case again, Jughead.

So I think it's time
that you dropped this,

and don't forget our ban tomorrow night.

Halloween is for kids, right?

It's not for teenagers
looking to make trouble.

[MAN OVER RADIO] Rise
and shine, Riverdale.

It's October , ,

which means it's high time to
get in the mood for Halloween.

[JUGHEAD] k*ller milkman in Riverdale?

Better safe than sorry.

["DRAC'S BACK" PLAYING OVER RADIO]

- ♪ Ooh, Drac's back ♪
- ♪ They're doing the Drac ♪

- ♪ Drac's back ♪
- ♪ With Drac ♪

♪ Igor's enchained and
he's doing it right ♪

♪ Drac's back ♪

♪ The coffins are open
and left in the ground ♪

♪ Drac's back ♪

♪ Now is the time to
really shake 'em down ♪

♪ Drac's back ♪

♪ Drac's back ♪

♪ Drac's looking for his
wife all over the hall ♪

♪ Drac's back ♪

♪ Vampira, where are you? ♪

♪ Well, Vampira's heatin'
up and she's raring to go ♪

♪ Drac's back, Drac's back ♪

[MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY]

I admit, I usually get a better response

when I pull my witch
costume out of the mothballs.

What gives?

Well, it's not your costume, Vee.

You look...

like everything plus. It's just, um...

Riverdale has a funny
relationship with Halloween.

Dare I ask?

Unfortunately, we don't
embrace All Hallows' Eve

the same way Greendale does.

We have rules in Riverdale.

Trick or treating's for kids.

Teenagers aren't allowed into
the streets after sundown.

Why not?

There was a, uh...

a tragedy a few years
back on Halloween night.

A carload of Riverdale High
students were out raising heck,

and they ran off the road.

They d*ed, all four of them.

Two Vixens, two Bulldogs.

So what are teenagers
expected to do on Halloween?

[FOGARTY] Nothing much.

Stay at home. Hand out
candy to ankle biters.

My dad and his officers drive around,

make sure no one's cruising the roads,

raising Cain.

Back home in Duck Creek, we
never celebrated Halloween.

But teenagers need Halloween.

To dress up in costumes and masks
and pretend to be someone else.

To be a kid again, even
if it's just for a night.

To kiss a girl or a boy in the dark

and blame it on the Halloween spirit.

To honor the dead.

The... The dead?

Back in Los Angeles,
my parents used to throw

the most lavish costume
balls every Halloween night.

Then afterwards,

in the wee hours of November first,

we'd all gather around the family altar,

just the three of us,

and light votive candles
to honor the dead.

And celebrate Dia de los Muertos.

It was one of our
only family traditions.

And my favorite by far.

In any case, it sounds like

our gatekeepers are
trying to put the kibosh

on one of the most
phantasmagoric nights of the year.

Little do they know,

Halloween is practically my middle name,

and I have every intention
of celebrating it.

I mean, really,

just when you think this
town couldn't get any kookier.

[SINISTER MUSIC PLAYING]

[GULPING]

Put those milk cartons down!

No!

All right, everyone, listen!

Don't drink fresh milk anymore.

Just drink powdered milk.

[PEOPLE CHUCKLING]

[INDISTINCT WHISPERING]

[SIGHS SOFTLY]

[JUGHEAD] Ethel, how are you?

I'm okay, Jughead.

I miss you.

I miss school.

Gosh, Ethel,

I... I don't mean to upset you further,

but there's been another m*rder.

Do you remember the
writer Brad Rayberry?

The guy who wrote November County?

He's your favorite, right?

Yeah, he was.

I was working with him, but I... I...

I suspect that he's part
of the milkman murders,

or he was k*lled by a milkman.

m*rder*d? Why?

Well, that's what I'm
trying to figure out.

Did your parents have any
connection to Mr. Rayberry?

No.

But this can't be just some
big coincidence, can it?

I don't know, Jug.

But you know what I
have been noodling on?

What?

The milkman comic book?

The original one?

Maybe whoever wrote
it in the first place

knows something.

Say, that's a good tip.

- I tell you what, I'm gonna look into that...
- Oh, gosh.

Jughead, I gotta go.

Sister Woodhouse is
giving me the evil eye.

But hopefully, I will see you soon.

[RECEIVER SLAMS]

Yeah. I can't believe
you've never experienced

a real Halloween before, Reg.

Uh, just like any other night.

Wake up early the next morning.

Same as always.

So does that mean you've
never worn a costume

or gone trick or treating before?

I've been cow-tipping
with my cousin once.

["IT'S A WOMAN'S WORLD" PLAYING]

♪ Woman's world ♪

♪ It's a woman's world
when she's in love ♪

♪ It's a woman's world ♪

♪ And he's so glad it is ♪

♪ For when it's hers ♪
♪ It's his ♪

[ARCHIE] ... all right, Betty?

Sorry, what?

I was just saying,

since Reggie hasn't had a
real Halloween growing up,

why don't we give him one?

Yeah, absolutely.

What is a real Halloween anyhow?

[BETTY] Well, one,

trick or treating.

Two, visiting a graveyard.

And three...

necking in a haunted house.

All very possible things to
do in a town like Riverdale.

[THUDDING]

The projection room.

At this hour?

- [CREAKING]
- [EERIE MUSIC PLAYING]

And what are you two doing
here at the witching hour?

We were just...

We were on our way
home from the dark room,

and I forgot my keys earlier,

so we were just swinging
by to pick them up.

Well parried, Clay.

What are you doing here?

Some late night brainstorming.

Oh, and I have good news.

I know exactly what we're
going to do for Halloween night.

We're going to host a ghost show

here at the Babylonium.

And the powers that be
won't be able to object,

as technically,

we'll be keeping the teeny
boppers off the streets.

I'm thinking s
glam for the dress code.

Ginchy idea, no?

Yeah, um, what's a ghost show?

[SIGHS]

It's a little bit of
this, a little bit of that.

Monsters, movies, burlesque.

And then at midnight...

we raise the dead.

[EERIE SCREECH]

[WOMAN SCREAMS]

[SPOOKY MUSIC PLAYS]

[VERONICA] Hear ye, hear ye.

Come one, come all to the
Babylonium's hair-raising

Halloween Burlesque and Ghost Show.

One night only.

There will be music.

There will be mayhem.

And then, as Halloween gives
way to the Day of the Dead,

there will be a resurrection,

as the four Riverdale High
students who oh-so tragically d*ed

on Halloween night all those years ago

return from the dead
before your very eyes.

Get your tickets fast before
they vanish without a trace.

[CROWD MUTTERING IN EXCITEMENT]

Mr. Fieldstone,

do you remember who wrote

the milkman story inside this issue?

I just want to ask
him a couple questions.

Kid, I haven't the foggiest.

But most of our, uh,
Pep Comic freelancers

will be at the annual
Halloween office party.

Why don't you come by and sniff around?

You might find the guy.

Uh, thanks, Mr. Fieldstone.
I'll do just that.

[CHUCKLES]

[SIGHS]

So, beauty queen,

any plans for Halloween?

Because I was thinking we
could spend it together.

Veronica's got me roped
into her ghost show,

but it would be a gas

if you joined in on the fun, too.

She's got some sort
of floor show planned,

complete with a kickline.

That we would perform?

In... In front of people?

Yeah.

You and me, and Kevin and Clay.

Don't tell me you have stage fright.

No, but it is tradition
that I host a sleepover

for the Vixens every year.

No big whoop. [SIGHS]

I just thought Halloween's
the one night of the year

where everyone wears a mask,

and people like us,

you and me, and Kevin and Clay,

we don't have to, you know.

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

All right, fellas, bring it in.

Just one last thing before we break.

Now, I know Halloween is coming up fast,

and it used to be Bulldog tradition

to go out wilding.

I have one thing to say.

Don't do it.

Not on my watch.

Understood?

- Understood?
- [ALL] Understood, Coach.

All right, then.

Bravo!

Gold star, fellas. Even
I almost believed you.

What are you bugging about, Julian?

It's Halloween, Andrews.

Of course, the Bulldogs
are going out wilding,

despite what Coach says.

Count me out.

I'm playing the ghost
show at the Babylonium.

No one asked you, greaser.

What about you two?

You coming or what?

No, I'm gonna sit this one out.

I promised my folks

I wouldn't cause trouble
while here in Riverdale.

Good God, Mantle.

Let me know when you grow a pair.

For those of you who
actually care about tradition

and aren't namby-pamby cream puffs,

we're meeting tomorrow
night, school parking lot.

At sundown.

Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo,
hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo.

I still can't fathom that Reggie's
never celebrated Halloween.

Well, go figure.

That's why Archie and I are
showing him what it's like.

In that case,

you're excused from my phantasmagoria

at the Babylonium.

But tell me, Betty, what's
your skin in this game?

Because I'm sensing you have some.

Well, I used to get
butterflies for Archie.

I still do.

But now I think I'm also
getting them for Reggie.

You know...

you should use Halloween night

to figure out which way your
love compass is truly pointing.

And then?

And then, let the spirit move you.

And then, tell me all
about it the next day.

So, Cheryl, I've been thinking
about tomorrow's slumber party.

I think you and the girls,

instead of sleeping in your bedroom,

should decamp to the grand hall.

It's more open,

less opportunity for
inappropriate hanky-panky.

Yuck, Mother! I'm trying to eat here.

Just make sure that's
good and secure, boys.

I don't want any lawsuits on my hands.

Wise words, Veronica.

Mrs. Cooper.

What a lovely, yet unexpected surprise.

- Hmm.
- What can I do for you?

I was in the neighborhood.
Just thought I would pop in.

How are ticket sales going
for your little ghost show?

Briskly.

We should be sold out.

[ALICE] You're new in town,

but this is how we celebrate
Halloween in Riverdale.

Everyone stays home

and watches Mr. Cooper and
I host Shock Theater on RIVW.

We dress up in singed clothes

and we introduce old horror flicks,

we have a little banter in between.

- [VERONICA CHUCKLES] Oh.
- It's quite the event.

We really give families a tickle.

Well, we're not really
expecting a family crowd.

More... teenagers, exclusively.

You like to cause trouble,
don't you, Veronica?

You're a natural born rabble-rouser.

I can tell.

At any rate, I will allow this
little ghost show to happen.

It's not gonna affect our ratings.

But I want you to know, young lady,

you've been put on notice.

[DOOR OPENS]

[DOOR SLAMS]

[OBJECTS CLATTERING]

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

[THUDDING]

[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING]

- [PANTING] Whoa.
- [HAMMER THUDS]

Ethel.

How the heck did you escape
The Sisters of Quiet Mercy?

I started hearing about secret
tunnels beneath the nunnery

right when I got there.

I spent every free moment
I had looking for them.

Found them a couple days ago.

It was your call

that gave me the push I
needed to make a break for it.

I really couldn't...

bear to be there for another second.

The sisters are cruel,

and abusive.

Well, they'll probably
come looking for you.

[GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]

What's your plan?

My birthday is in a couple months.

Once I'm ,

I won't be a ward of the state anymore,

and I can live on my own.

I just need to make it until then.

Where are you gonna
hide out In the meantime?

This place isn't exactly safe, Ethel.

It got ransacked by John Law, remember?

But I do know a place
that you could stay.

It's Mr. Rayberry's apartment.

I mean, it's still empty,

and he's got rent paid
until the end of the year.

As long as staying in
a dead guy's apartment

doesn't give you the heebie-jeebies.

It could be haunted.

I would rather ghosts than the sisters.

Well, then you're made in the shade.

And I can go down to the five-and-dime

and get you a cheap Halloween mask,

so you can walk the streets incognito.

Once we get to the Halloween party,

you won't have to worry about the fuzz.

And you could help me suss out
who wrote that milkman comic.

How's that sound?

[DOOR OPENS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

Yes, Midge, how can I help you?

[SIGHS] Do you have a special
request for the sleepover?

Um... that's the thing. I...

I wanted to see if I might be
excused from the slumber party.

You see, Fangs is performing
at Veronica's ghost show,

and it would be gangbusters to see him.

Midge, with all due respect
to your greaser boyfriend,

this is a Vixen tradition.

The center must hold.

[STUTTERS] Of course,
I... I figured as much.

[EXHALES] But I had to at least try.

Wait.

As it happens,

I, too, am intrigued by
Veronica's midnight burlesque.

So if I asked Evelyn to
host the slumber party

and you know that witchy witch would,

and we went to the Babylonium,

we can never ever speak

of what we did or saw at the ghost show.

I'd be okay with that.

I'm good at keeping secrets.

Me, too, dear Midge.

Perhaps it's time we both
confide in each other.

Maybe on Halloween night,

after the festivities?

I'm on pins and needles.

[FEATHERHEAD] Mr. Jones,

are you aware that your friend
Ethel Muggs went missing last night?

She escaped from The
Sisters of Quiet Mercy.

Ain't that a bite?

No, no, I had no idea.

So if we searched your train car,

she wouldn't be there?

Oh, please, go ahead. Door's unlocked.

Uh, but, uh, if you could just not
trash it like you did last time.

The place is practically
The Waldorf now. [CHUCKLES]

Can I go?

[WOMAN CACKLING]

[MUSIC PLAYING ON RECORD]

Dang.

Your mom's costume work is top notch.

Yeah, she was keen to do it.

Started to get the weeps 'cause she
said it was probably the last time

she'll be sewing Halloween costumes.

[CHUCKLES]

Until she has grandkids.

What do you think Betty's going as?

Maybe a princess?

Or Rosie the Riveter?

Man, I can't believe how much
she knows about fixing up cars.

Yeah, how'd that happen anyway?

Her fixing your jalopy.

Did you ask or did...

- Did she offer?
- Nah, she offered.

But the truth is, I was kind
of getting vibes off her.

You know? Vibrations.

Well, trust me, I know.

If I'm being honest, I've
been getting vibes from Betty

since way before you got to town, so...

And I still am.

[CHUCKLES]

You don't think Betty wants to make it

with one of us tonight, do you?

I hadn't considered that, but...

She ain't blind.

Well, she might want
to get with me, Reg.

Like I said, we do have a history.

[SIGHS] Yeah...

Well...

Let's make a pact then.

If something goes on
between Betty and one of us,

as soon as we start feeling
which way she's leaning,

then the other guy
peels off and vamooses.

What do you say?

You got yourself a deal
there, Buck Rogers. [BLOWS AIR]

["VOODOO DRUMS" PLAYING]

♪ Voodoo drums ♪

♪ b*ating in my heart ♪

♪ Telling me
I'll never leave my island ♪

♪ Voodoo drums... ♪

Jughead!

Welcome to the Madhouse of Mystery.

Who's your friend?
Or should I say fiend?

Bernie, this is Ethel.

You... you may have met.
She's been here a couple times.

Hi. Happy Halloween.

And to you!

Uh, get yourself a
snootful and settle in.

It's gonna be a crazy night.

Okay, let's enter the fray.

Ask around. See if anyone knows
about the origin of the milkman comic.

Good evening, ghouls and boils,

to what I'm sure will be

the most electrifying
night of your life.

[HAL] I'm your host...

Well, thanks for volunteering
to be our kid tonight, Dilton.

Yeah, Doiley. You're really
going above and beyond

- your duties as waterboy.
- It's no sweat, fellas.

It's kind of hard to say
no to a girl like Betty.

♪ Oh, I knew somehow ♪

♪ Someone will plead ♪

♪ "I need you," desperately ♪

Well, boys, how do I look?

Wow! Gee whiz, Betty,
you look... tremendous.

Ring the bell. I'm knocked out.

- [GIGGLES]
- Who are you supposed to be?

Goldilocks, of course.

You know, she couldn't decide on a bed,

so she tried all three.

Shall we head out and see
where the night takes us?

[SULTRY MUSIC PLAYING]

A doctor of dentistry.

[SCOFFS]

Well, what are you complaining about?

["DEAD" PLAYING]

[DOORBELL RINGING]

- [ALL] Trick or treat!
- ♪ I was jamming through the graveyard round ♪

♪ Twelve-oh-five ♪

♪ I saw a ghost and zombies
lookin' very much alive ♪

♪ I was alone and bewildered... ♪

[BULLDOGS HOWLING]

[SONG PLAYING LOUDLY ON CAR RADIO]

- Whoo!
- Yeah!

[TIRES SCREECHING]

That's it. I'm going home.

Wait, Dilton. We're
just getting started.

I'm dressed as a pumpkin head,

and Julian and those
clowns have baseball bats.

I'm doneski.

It's okay, Dilton.

You've been a swell sport tonight.

You can go home.

Yeah, we've got a
cemetery to get to anyhow.

["HELL" PLAYING]

[PEOPLE LAUGHING, CLAMORING]

♪ In the afterlife ♪

♪ You could be heading
for the serious strife ♪

♪ Now you make the scene all day ♪

♪ But tomorrow there'll be hell to pay ♪

♪ In the afterlife ♪

♪ You could be headed
for the serious strife ♪

♪ Now you make the scene all day ♪

♪ But tomorrow there'll be hell to pay ♪

♪ People, listen attentively ♪

♪ I mean about future calamity... ♪

You made the scene.

As promised.

Well, you look fab as a flapper.

How did it shake out with
the rest of the Vixens?

As far as anyone else is concerned,

Midge and I have been stricken
with a -hour influenza

and we're self-quarantining.

Well, it means a lot to me that you came

and that you're willing to perform.

Veronica is over the moon about it.

So am I.

Well, as you say, it's Halloween.

If we can't let our masks
slip tonight, then when can we?

Come on, let's get you ready.

♪ Teeth are extruded
and bones are ground ♪

♪ And baked into cakes
which are passed around ♪

[OLDIES POP MUSIC PLAYING]

So, Randall, you didn't
write The Milkman Cometh?

No, but I sure wish I had.

Best story Pep published last year.

Sorry I can't be more help.

Jonah, did you write The Milkman Cometh?

No, and between us,

I didn't think it was
such great shakes either.

Did you write The Milkman Cometh?

Or do you know who did?

The Milkman?

Yeah. That was one of Ted's stories.

- Ted?
- Ted Sullivan.

- Journeyman writer.
- Ted. Ted Sullivan?

- Is he here?
- Uh, no.

Ted's dead.

A few weeks after his
milkman story was published,

they found him kaput in his apartment.

Dead? How?

Hung himself,

left a note saying he'd never write

another story as good
as the milkman one.

It's a metaphor. A critique of America.

It's saying that the enemy is us.

What are you talking about?

The enemy is here at home.

It's not Mother Russia.

It's not the communists.

It's not the Axis of Evil. It's us.

We're the enemies.

Wholesome, conforming,
h*m* America.

[EERIE MUSIC PLAYING]

[REGGIE AND BETTY HOWLING]

[ALL LAUGHING]

[HOWLING CONTINUES]

You know why wolves howl, don't you?

To attract a mate.

And how do you know that?

We've got lots of wolves in Duck Creek.

Packs and packs of them.

Well, must have made it

pretty scary growing up there.

More like exciting.

[BETTY] Hmm.

Though they never caused me any trouble.

Maybe because they
recognized a fellow...

alpha.

Is that what you think you are?

An alpha?

- Uh...
- [VEHICLE APPROACHING]

[BULLDOGS HOWLING]

[REGGIE] Damn. Julian and
his g*ons are still out.

Well, that's not good.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Wonder where the rest
of our wolf pack is.

Gosh, Archie, I'm so sorry.

I didn't even think
about the fact that...

It's okay.

I'm okay.

I was just thinking
about how my mom and dad

used to take us trick or treating.

- Remember that?
- [CHUCKLING] Of course.

You remember the year we dressed
as Becky Thatcher and Tom Sawyer?

Of course I do.

I went barefoot, stepped on a nail.

[LAUGHS]

Right.

We've been friends
for a really long time.

Yeah, we have been.

Feels like I've known
you my entire life.

I feel the same way.

Hey, so where's this
haunted house, anyway?

Well, come on and let
me show you the way.

If you're brave enough.

[ARCHIE] So this is where it happened.

The m*rder you guys
were telling me about.

Yes.

It's hard to imagine
your life ending so...

suddenly, violently.

[GULPS] My dad used to
say, "Seize the day."

Like, is your next moment gonna
be your last before the big chill?

I'm gonna go see if there's any
Eleven-Up in the refrigerator.

[ARCHIE CLEARS THROAT]

[SOFTLY] Hey...

I'm gonna cut out of here.

No, you don't have to do that.

Come on, Andrews.

I saw you two in the
cemetery holding hands.

You don't need a seismograph
to pick up those vibrations.

Okay, Reg. If you say so.

I do.

[BETTY] Well, they're warm,

but I found some orange
sodas in the icebox.

Where'd Reggie go?

Oh, he got tired.

Called it a night.

That's too bad.

Yeah, isn't it?

[VERONICA] Gals and ghouls.

Thank you all for coming out tonight.

In just a few minutes,

we'll be screening our
midnight feature, Frankenstein,

starring my godfather, Boris Karloff.

But before we do that,

you were all promised a resurrection
tonight and a floor show.

[ALL CHEERING]

Well, Veronica Lodge,

or should I say Victoria Frankenstein,

keeps her promises.

So without further ado,

I give you the electrifying return

of the four dead
Riverdale High students.

So enjoy.

And don't dream it, friends.

Be it.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

[ALL CHEERING]

♪ It was great when it all began ♪

♪ I was a regular Frankie fan ♪

♪ But it was over when he had the plan ♪

♪ To start working on a muscle man ♪

♪ Now the only thing
that gives me hope ♪

♪ Is my love of a certain dope ♪

♪ Rose tints my world ♪

♪ Keeps me safe from
my trouble and pain ♪

♪ I am just seven hours old ♪

♪ Truly beautiful to behold ♪

♪ And somebody should be told ♪

♪ My libido hasn't been controlled ♪

♪ Now the only thing
I've come to trust ♪

♪ Is an orgasmic rush of lust ♪

♪ Rose tints my world ♪

♪ And keeps me safe from
my trouble and pain ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ It's beyond me ♪

♪ Help me, Mommy ♪

♪ It'll be good, you'll see ♪

♪ Take this dream away ♪

♪ What this? Let's see ♪

♪ I feel sexy ♪

♪ What's come over me? ♪

♪ Here it comes again ♪

♪ Oh, whoa ♪

♪ I feel released ♪

♪ Bad times deceased ♪

♪ My confidence has increased ♪

♪ Reality is here ♪

♪ The game has been disbanded ♪

♪ My mind has been expanded ♪

♪ It's a gas that Frankie's landed ♪

♪ His lust is so sincere ♪

[CROWD GASPING, CHEERING]

♪ Whatever happened to Fay Wray? ♪

♪ That delicate satin-draped frame ♪

♪ As it clung to her thigh ♪

♪ How I started to cry ♪

♪ 'Cause I wanted to be
dressed just the same ♪

♪ Give yourself over
to absolute pleasure ♪

♪ Swim the warm waters
of sins of the flesh ♪

♪ Erotic nightmares beyond any measure ♪

♪ And sensual daydreams
to treasure forever ♪

♪ Can't you just see it? ♪

♪ Whoa ho ho! ♪

♪ Don't dream it ♪

♪ Be it ♪

♪ Don't dream it ♪

♪ Be it ♪

[KEVIN] ♪ It's beyond me ♪

♪ Help me, Mommy ♪

♪ God bless Lili St. Cyr ♪

[CROWD CHEERING]

[JULIAN] Well, well, well.

If it isn't Mantle the magnificent.

I'm just walking home, Julian.

Oh, come on.

Don't be such a stick in the mud.

We're going across
the bridge to Greendale

to raise some hell. Hop in.

Come on. Join the fun.

Unless you've got
something better to do.

- Move over.
- [JULIAN CHUCKLES]

[JULIAN] Attaboy.

[ROCK 'N' ROLL MUSIC PLAYING]

Well, here we are, I guess.

Here we are, just the two of us.

- I'm really nervous.
- [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

And I think I wanna kiss you.

I feel exactly the same way.

[ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING]

[BOTTLES CLINKING]

[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING]

- [GASPS] Oh, my God.
- What is it?

There's someone out there.

There's no one out there.
What did he look like?

This is gonna sound Looney Tunes,

but he looked like a... a milkman.

- A milkman?
- Let's just go, Arch.

Let's... let's go.

All right, let's punch it.

Well, gents,

looks like we had ourselves
a smashing success.

For the ages.

I was in on the gag, and
even I had goose pimples.

All of which makes me think.

What if we institute a
weekly midnight movie,

a monster flick,

or something fun and campy?

It sounds like a gas.

But, uh, Veronica,

Kevin and I, we, um...

wanted to talk to you about something.

Oh.

What's that?

How long have you been
living at the Babylonium

and... and why?

Is it trouble with your parents?

[CHUCKLES]

Look at you two Hardy Boys.

All right, you fellas got wise to me.

I am staying here.

But there isn't a problem.

There's nothing wrong.

The Pembrooke is merely
undergoing renovations.

That's all.

I'll be back in my regular
digs before Thanksgiving.

Now skedaddle.

And truly, everything's peachy.

[SOFT MUSIC PLAYS]

[CHERYL] Midge, Fangs...

I don't know what to say about your
happy news, except congratulations.

Oh, Cheryl, I've been dying
to tell you the truth for ages.

Well, of course your
secret is safe with me.

Not to take anything
away from my honey bun,

but you two had a pretty big
moment during the floor show.

That was some kiss.

Yeah, I'm not complaining,

but it was pretty brazen, Cheryl.

If I'm ever challenged about it,

I will simply explain
that I was possessed

by the Halloween spirit.

Can I just say that I'm really happy
that us four put our masks away?

Even if it was only for
one short, magical night.

I wholeheartedly concur.

[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING]

Well, despite our boogeyman ending,

this was the best Halloween of
my entire life, Betty Cooper.

Mine, too.

Elizabeth?

Mrs. Cooper?

Why are you out so late?

Mom, I thought you
weren't my mother anymore.

I'm not, but you still
live in this house,

so get your butt inside
right this instant!

Get!

[SOFTLY] Damn it.

["ENVENANAME LOS LABIOS" PLAYING]

[SIGHS]

[INHALES]

[SIGHS]

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Do you want to come in?

Oh, I... I would, but
I'm pretty tuckered out.

Plus, I haven't fed Hot Dog tonight,

so I'll just see you tomorrow.

Or later today, I guess.

Is that hunky-dory?

Yeah.

Sure. Good night, Jug.

Good night.

[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING]

[DOOR OPENS]

Oh...

I thought you were the milkman.

Milkman?

I heard his bottles earlier today.

I thought he might have come back.

You heard his...

Ethel!

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS, GROANS]

Jeepers.

[PANTING]

I told everyone it was a milkman.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

[FRANK] Archie. Archie, wake up.

Archie, wake up.

Come on, get dressed.

Uncle Frank, what's wrong?

There's been some kind of accident.

Car full of Bulldogs went off the
bridge and into Sweetwater River.

When was that? Are there any survivors?

We don't know yet.

[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

[BELL CHIMES]
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