Theater Camp (2023)

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Theater Camp (2023)

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JOAN: There's nothing

like seeing

a child on stage

for the first time.

They get up there, the lights h*t,

and suddenly, the whole world opens up.

Theater for children,

it's unbelievable

what they learn.

They learn to improvise,

dance, sing, work with each other,

and some of them really

need it, they really do.

That's why I built this camp.

I wanted to make a place

where anyone is free

to be themselves.

But keeping the camp open

is a year-round job.

That's why we spend

the whole spring on the road,

raising money,

recruiting young talent.

And, you know, we're

theater people, so. (CHUCKLES)

We know how to work a crowd.

Being at camp

for a whole summer,

- what it can do for a child.


We don't have

that much room left.

We have not much room.

No, we have a little bit of

wiggle room at the camp.

Maybe four more kids?

- We're almost full...

- JOAN: We are. I think you should

register early for your girl.

JOAN: For sure.

And Ronald, I'm so sorry

to hear about your divorce.

RITA: I know.

I mean,

she was just too young.

But if your son

needs a place to go,

AdirondACTS is the perfect

place for him to come.

We found a lot of star campers

at this school.

I know Willow was freaked out

by the bedbugs,

tell her they're gone.

Why are you smiling?

(GROANS) He drives me crazy.

He's practically drunk.

RITA: I know.

JOAN: But I think we got him

to sign up his kid.

(SIGHS) We're so behind

this year.

We need to raise more money.

I know. I was thinking

we could give Leo a lead.

Leo? No.

He's awful.

I know he's awful

and he's tone-deaf,

but his parents

are really rich.

Oh, come on. You know

we don't do things that way.

It's always gotta be

about the talent.

- How rich?

- So rich.



If you're really sincere

If you're really sincere

If you feel it in here

Then it's gotta be right

Oh, baby

- Oh!

- Look at him.

- Sebastian?

- I know.

JOAN: He is giving 110%.

- Suffer




Oh, oh, oh, you gotta be sincere

Oh, oh, oh, you gotta feel it in here

- RITA: Oh, my God! Joan!

- (SINGING) Oh, my baby

RITA: Joan!

This is... Somebody help me!

Somebody help me.

She's not breathing.

This is not part of the show.

I need help! (ECHOING)

(GASPS) It's beautiful.


What's up, Troy-jans?

It's your boy, Troy.

Just right off the bat, wanna

keep it real with you guys,

feeling a little naked

without my ring light.

But you know what?

We still out here.

As you guys know,

I don't usually like to talk

about my... (CLEARS THROAT)

To be honest,

I've been going through

some low-key

personal stuff lately

and I just feel obligated

to let you guys know that.

Long story short,

theater gave my mom a coma.

She's down for the count

for... (INHALES DEEPLY) we

really don't know how long.

Unfortunately, that's just

kinda how comas go.

But fear not, fam.

Even though I never really

vibed with my mom's camp

and spent my summers doing

dope sh*t with my friends,

I happen to be

a financial guru

and world-renowned

business mentor.

Yeah, I do that kind of stuff.

Your boy has the BDE.

That's right. The business

development expertise

- to hold down the fort.


Oh, my God, there's a person.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

I was in here

fixing the blinds,

and then you came in

and I panicked and stayed.


I'm Glenn.

I'm the technical director.

TROY: How you doing, man?

Over the next three weeks,

I'm gonna give you

an inside look

at how I can take a business

from lame... to lit.

Let's build.


The most pressing matters

are in the main stage.

Right now,

the cyclorama is buckling.

It needs to be re-anchored.

Uh, we're gonna

need to prioritize

the remaining equipment

for the musicals,

which means the straight plays

are gonna have to be acoustic.

Uh, which is actually

how they do it on Broadway.


cut you off? Real quick.

- Um...

- It seems like you've got

a pretty good handle

on this...

- Yeah.

- I'm just gonna take

"understanding a word

you're saying"

off my list

and let you take it

from here, brother.


Quick question, though,

what's a straight play?

Well, there are musicals,

and then

there are straight plays.

So then what would be

a gay play?

I guess (STUTTERS) a musical.

- Oh, cool.

- (DRUMS b*ating)

RITA: This one.

Okay. Thanks. Okay.

BOY: Yes. Yes!

RITA: Oh, yes!

GIRL 1: Wait,

we have to bunk together.

We have to.

So, you're in bunk five, Ellen.

Okay, 'kay, 'kay.

That's good. That's good.

Great, great. Great.

What's he doing? Perfect.

Okay. Hi, everybody.

Welcome back.

Mickey, Nicky. Nicky, Mickey,

Mickey, Nicky. Who knows?

Don't switch shirts.

I'll get too confused.





- AMOS: Beck, stop.


Beck, stop the car.

- Let me in.

- I am letting you in.

- It's not opening.

- I'm letting you in.


I've been here 10 minutes

and it's unbearable.



He's, like, wandering about.

He has no idea where he is,

what he's doing.

He can't see?

No, he only talks

to his camera.

Oh, my God.

The least creative person

I've ever met,

and I've yet

to speak to the man.

TROY: Play ball.

She's hot.

And half the staff

has been cut.

They're not even coming back.

We need a coup.

Well, there's not even enough

of us to have a coup now.

- Oh, my God.

- AMOS: Jesus.

- She wouldn't even want it.

- No.

AMOS: We really have to hold

this place down artistically.

I can't believe

that Joan's not here.

I can't believe it.


All I was doing

was bl*wing the roof off

of Honestly, Sincere

in Bye Bye Birdie.

Then I look over

to my house seats

and there's Joan, convulsing.


SEBASTIAN: It was frightening.

I obviously

stayed in character.


That's not real.

(OVER MIC) All right.

Let's take a knee

with the talking, fam.

Listen up!

Keep it down.


Squad? g*ng?

Maybe, uh, zip it?


Can we just get you guys to...

(SINGING) Oh, what a beautiful


TROY: Dope.

That was dope.

Whaddup, AdirondACTS?



You guys know Joan, right?


(CHANTING) Joan, Joan, Joan!

Joan, Joan, Joan!

Joan, Joan, Joan!

Yeah, um, so she's not here.

Um, you know, which

we're all very sad about.

But don't worry.

I'm her son.



Don't worry, guys.

I just wanna reassure you

this will be a normal summer.

You can check out my website.

- Oh, yeah, go ahead. Yeah.

- We're good. Thanks so much.

Hi, guys.


We love you, Gigi!

So a few reminders.

I just need to know

all of your updated sizes.

Also, sad news,

I will not be doing

piercings any more in the hut.

Yeah. Because there's

a narc amongst us.

Um, Cassie has narced.

It's totally fine. Uh, yeah.

Okay, I love you guys.

- Love you.



As you all know,

I'm Amos Klobuchar,

head of drama.


head of music theory.

We are now going to announce,

as we do every summer,

this session's productions.

Five, six, seven, eight.



There once was a story

'Bout a girl named Lisa

She wanted to perform

But she didn't have her visa

BOTH: Sorry about your visa, Lisa

Five, six, seven, eight

Playing baseball

with the devil

in a baseball diamond.

BOTH: Damn Yankees

in the outdoor stage.



- AMOS: Who goes there?


Is it a ghost?

Is it a witch?

BOTH: The Crucible junior

in the lobby.


In the land of Andrew Lloyd

Where the felines sing and dance

Whisker faced in unitards

You can join their feral prance

Cats immersive.

Well, I guess

that's all, folks.

I gotta start walking home.

I'm taking a cab.

BOTH: Whoa!


An original piece

And it's fully brand new

And it's fresh from our hearts

Written just for you

But you've gotta be good, yeah

You've gotta be great

You've gotta be the crme de la crme

Of the place

This summer it's a story...

About a woman in her glory.

The founding of a space...

That has become

our favorite place.

A woman who all in this room

deeply love.

And she's looking down,

not quite from above.

Joan can...

- Joan will...

- Joan here?


BOTH: Joan, Still!



TROY: Your resume

is absolutely stacked.

- Thank you.

- Yeah.

How did you learn

stage combat?

Oh! Oh, man.

It's hard to even say

'cause I've been doing it

for so long.

- Totally.

- Yeah.

How about accent work?


You no worry.

I can do it, don't worry.

That's really neat.

How about horseback riding?

- Jousting? Is that like with the...?


That is with those. Yeah.

And then when did you learn

how to juggle?

Well, um... Oh, there was

a f*re at my house.

And that's sort of how I dealt

with the trauma.



Yes. Progressions

across the floor.

Very nice, both of you, yes.


Higher. Higher.

Ah! Ah!

Listen, these are some

Cassie battements.

You're doing

a little cheater flick.


I am running late

for my niece's christening.

I don't want to find another

therapist, David.

AMOS: Welcome,

group two of auditioners.


I know it's been a long day

for you guys, but...

AMOS: If you drop a line,

or a note

is a little off-key,

you cr*ck or something,

just, what does that

- say about you?

- Mmm-hmm.


Sorry I'm late.

- I don't think you were... Oh.


Emma, 10,

has a goldfish named Johnny.

And she's gonna kick us off

with I Dreamed a Dream

from Les Mis.

Oh, you know what?

That's a good song choice

for her.

I do believe her

as a French prost*tute.


Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Sex worker.




There's a hole in the world

Like a great black pit

And it's filled with people

Who are filled with sh*t

And the vermin in the world inhabit it

But not for long

Darla, 15, is 2,073

on the IMDb Star Meter.


What if when he sees me

I like him and he knows it


This is an example of a kid

who started working

way too young.


And I can't close it?

- You got snacks?

- No, I don't have anything.


And even if Karen were hotter than Sharon

I still would've filed for divorce

Um, that rhythm was wrong.

Can we do that again?


That was the last time

I laid eyes on


Margaret Thatcher


Though we all deserve to die

Even you, Mrs. Lovett

Even I

It says you're allergic

to polyester. Why?

Devon, 13. He has

a green belt in taekwondo.


You know, I think that I'm better now

Better now

You only say that 'cause I'm not around

Not around

You know I never meant to let you down

Let you down

Would've gave you anything

Would've gave you everything

You know, I think that I am better now

Better now

You only say that 'cause I'm not around

Not around

You know I never meant to let you down

Let you down


Would've gave you anything

Would've gave you everything


That's what's up, dawg. Finally.

Can you clear now, please?

Thank you.

TROY: That was bussin'.

AMOS: Inappropriate to give

feedback during the audition.


AMOS: Please don't

internalize that.

It's Devon?

- Yeah.

- Your first summer?

- Here?


- AMOS: Yes.

- Yeah.

Do you know

any other Post songs

that you could like,

rattle off the dome,

like maybe

Wow or Congratulations...

or the one from

the Spider-Verse soundtrack?

Abby, 11, chose this session

over sitting shiva

for her cousin.

CLIVE: Putting the work first.

WOMAN: Oh, uh, excuse me,

I just need a second.

RITA: Ma'am,

you can't be back here.

WOMAN: I'm sorry. Um...


My name's Caroline Krauss.

I'm a rep from Camp Lakeside.


- RITA: Shut up!


- Turn down your music!

This is a bucolic setting!

Okay, well,

whatever it is you're selling,

we don't want any.

Oh, I was actually here

to introduce myself

to the, uh, new boss.

Is there... Is Troy here?

I am so sorry

to hear about your mom.

My entire team

at Barnswell Capital

is sending healing thoughts.

Wait, Barnswell Capital?

Like the Barnswell Capital?

- Yeah.

- Whoa.

Your work is so inspiring.

I mean,

the Gentri-vacation Project.

I have to say


was my brainchild.

- Wow, you know, um...

- You know...

- I'm sorry.

- You go.

I was just gonna say that

you seem to know

a lot about business.

I'm a bit

of a money man myself.

You know, I've been trying

to bring some of my


to the AdirondACTS.

That's funny.

That's catchy, en-Troy.

- My name's Troy.

- I know.

I understood it completely

the first time I heard it.


That's kind of what we're

doing with Lakeside.

- Yeah?

- Yeah, we recently acquired it

so I'm doing

kind of a complete overhaul

- of the management structure.

- Wow!


I think it's commendable

what you're doing here.

Taking on the burden

of your mother's condition.

- Yeah.

- And her struggling business.

That's gotta be so much weight

on your shoulders.

Yeah. It is.

Excuse me.

So sorry.

This is an active work zone.

I'm gonna need you

to vacate the area.

CAROLINE: Uh, just one moment.

Troy, I think this could be

an exciting opportunity

for the both of us.

- Wow. Yeah.

- GLENN: You know what?

I'm gonna need

this exact space

to get up

really high for some work.

Look, Troy,

I don't need to tell you

that the bank

has filed a notice of default.


And it's not news to you,

of course,

that they're weeks away from

foreclosing on this place.

No, that's definitely

not news to me.

Listen, I think I can help you

get out of this jam.

I know I speak on behalf

of my entire

board of directors

when I say

that Barnswell Capital

would love to get into bed

with AdirondACTS.


Tell them how I am defying gravity

I'm flying high defying gravity

I'm so sorry.

I didn't mean

to interrupt

that conversation.

That was very

out of character for me.

- A little brazen...

- Hey, you can't tell anyone

about this

foreclosure thing, okay?

It's between me and you.

Uh, yeah.

Uh, our little secret.

But I do think

you should know,

Barnswell Capital,

they're not people

that we should be

getting into bed with.

Lakeside is the enemy.

They've been trying

to get this land

for a very long time,

and I think Joan's success is,

in large part,

due to the fact

that she has leaned on us,

AdirondACTS family,

and your mother used to say,

"We're theater people.

"We know how to turn

cardboard into gold."

(SINGING) Bring me down







Okay, you're not ruining

my final note. (CHUCKLES)


TROY: Yeah.

I really need to start

reading the mail.


Peters, Foster, Streisand, LuPone

Give us a role we can make our own

Audra McDonald, Idina Menzel

We are gay witches, and this is our spell

- RITA: Move on. We're gonna move on.

- AMOS: Okay.

RITA: Okay. What about this?

The Crucible or Cats?

I think that she's

in the running for Tituba.

- No.

- In the running.

How are we gonna

talk about Tituba

when we haven't

picked a Proctor?

AMOS: Do you think

you could channel her for us?

Just try. I know you don't

like to do it on command,

but maybe Joan has some wisdom

to offer in this moment.


in this situation room.

RITA: Oh, I would love to...

Oh, I wanna talk to her.

Please do it.

I have so many things

to tell her.

CLIVE: Joan!

RITA: Joan.

Joan, are you there?

- RITA: Are you here, Joan?

- Guys, real quick.

CLIVE: Joan, speak to us.

TROY: I'm gonna head out

just 'cause the candles

and kids thing

is making me

feel a little bit weird.

We don't have

that much time to begin with.

- Thank you.

- That's fine. Please.

AMOS: Oh, my God!

CLIVE: Can we get back

to the business at hand?

AMOS: Can we open up the

discussion in terms of Lolas?

I'm just gonna

throw a name out. Chantal.

CLIVE: Chantal. Yes, Chantal.

It's exactly what

I was thinking. Chantal.

- Chantal. Chantal.

- Chantal.

Which one... Okay. Chantal.

CLIVE: Yes, yes.

Okay, Chantal.

She's going where?

Damn Yankees.


worried she doesn't have...

No, don't place her there!

I'm worried she doesn't have

the sexuality to play it.

Obviously, everyone

on this board is a virgin,

but Chantal

seems like a virgin...

AMOS: I agree.

...the minute that she

steps into a room.

Her name. I don't wanna see

Chantal in a feather.

AMOS: I hate to admit

that it's a great point.

Okay, let's just

table the virgins.

CLIVE: Well,

can't we get her there?

GIGI: Get her there?

How do we get her there?

Get her there?

What do you want us to do?

I don't know

how you get a virgin there.

You get them there.

Okay. Where do you

think this one goes?

Well, it looks like it was

some kind of short.

- Did you check the...

- Breakers?

Yeah, I k*lled them already.




that's really pretty, Glenn.

Okay. Uh...

You want him

and Sebastian in Joan?

AMOS: Listen.

Hey, how about...

I have no one.

You take Sean,

we'll take Sebastian.

- Hmm?

- RITA: All right.

- GIGI: Now we have a deal.

- All right. All right.

- He can be Mr. Mistoffelees.

- Okay. Okay.

- CLIVE: Put him in there.

- Okay. Sean is Mistoffelees.

If we can have Darla

for Joan, Still.

CLIVE: You can have Darla.

I'm sorry.

For what in Joan, Still?

To play Joan. Old Joan.

AMOS: She's not

even on my list.

- She's obviously the best one.

- Joan is the most organic

and warm person that I know.

It emanates from her

and Darla, it's sort of like,

put on and then another layer,

put on and then another layer,

put on...

Like all of the work

she's done...

- I find her so free.

- All the sets

she's been on

just reek on her.

Just sit with it for a second.




AMOS: Please

don't disappoint Joan.




the cast lists are up.


Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

SEBASTIAN: Out of the way!


GIRL: Am I going to be a cat?


Little person coming through.



ALICE: I'm so proud of you.


ALAN: You've got to hear

her sing, Marty.

She just booked the title role

in Joan, Still...

...and I'm this close

to signing her.

She's the whole package.


My daughter is a genius.

I hear you loud and clear.

Believe me, you're not the

only one who's upset.

I've been getting a lot of calls.

How dare you do this

to my daughter?

I'm seriously

going to do something

if my daughter

is not the lead by tomorrow.

Ma'am, again,

I was not involved

in the casting decision.

I will be sure

to pass that on.

But in the meantime,

if you wanna bribe me,

- I am very open to...

- DARLA: Troy, right?

- Are you listening to me?

- Hold on one second.

Hi, yes.

- Hi. I'm Darla.

- Hi, Darla.

I just wanna thank you

for entrusting me

to inhabit your mother

in Joan, Still.

Wasn't me who made

the decision, but of course.

I'd love to have a sit-down.

Go over her mannerisms, tics,

favorite foods and traumas.

Right on. Um...

Do you happen

to have her dream journal?

Dream journal. Um,

you might have to come back.

Troy, all the freezers

were out last night,

so the meat turned.

So what do we serve for lunch?

- DARLA: I'll come back later.


Have a big breakfast.

(SIGHS) Rita.

CLIVE: Class,

to dance

is the highest expression

of human existence.

Acting is remembering

and then choosing to forget.

Music is the closest thing

we have to the other side.





Mask work.

Who's next?

So, I'm gonna be

teaching you guys

a little fashion history

and we're gonna

really look closely

at the period costuming.

I see...

clavicle realness.

Showing off the clav.

You need to know

when to use a clavicle.

- Right.

- It's once a week.

This is me at Coachella.

Kind of cross-faded. I'm

looking for my friend, Chad.

I was running.


I'm hating everything

about this except for the

peekaboo vaginal sleeve.


Let's say it.

- Characterization.

- ALL: Characterization.

It's time to dive in

to our first exercise.

Somebody wants to maybe

give it a sh*t?



Darla, why don't you come up

here and demonstrate with me?

So Darla is going to say

just a basic fact about me,

anything that she observes.

Just anything that comes to

mind when you look at me.

No wrong answers.

Just throw something out.

You're an acting teacher.

Okay. I'm gonna stop you

right there.

So that's actually

wildly opinionated.

That was a really simplistic

way of looking at it.

I am a performer

who works full time

as an acting teacher, right?



Sing that back to me.


Now we're gonna do

a little bit of an exercise

to just strengthen our mouths.


I was with Al Gore

By the old cheese store

And he brought his own bag

From the ocean floor

ALL: Wolf Blitzer has

a blister on his upper lip.

You are a family...

of influencers.

The mom is the manager.

You're dating

a basketball player,

but he's constantly

cheating on you.

And if that isn't enough,

all your names

start with the same letter.

Oh, nice.

Your show's canceled!

Your show's canceled!

It's back.


Wanting to learn

about stagecraft

is an act of nobility.

You know, even if it's just

because dance was full.

Something that we like

to dig into here

is the art of the spotlight.

No offense,

but this is really easy.

Can you make it harder?






You know, if there was

a real dancer on stage,

that would be...

that would be different.

Better, probably.

Whoa, that was amazing.


Let's take a break.

- AMOS: So we have like...


(SINGING) You never

- (SINGING) Listen to me

- Yeah.

And then...

- (SINGING) Daddy

- Yeah.

I want her to say that loudly.

- Write that down.

- Mmm-hmm. Like guttural.

- That's very Joan.

- A guttural "Daddy."

It would be great to go

into the first rehearsal

with like,

three or four songs.

For Joan's song at Studio 54,

I've been thinking...


AMOS: (SINGING) Lower now


AMOS: Okay. That's good.

What are we doing for,

in the Wall Street piece?

(SINGING) Selling the stock

Buying the stock

It's tap.

- It's tap.

- It's tap.

- Like, stocks and bonds.

- (SINGING) Stocks things

- Bonds and selling

- Stocks.

- I work on Wall Street

- Stocks.

I don't know

when I'm gonna be able

- to really get to the finale.

- Yeah, yeah, I got it.

- You can take that?

- Yeah, I got it.

So, I'm writing,



It's for her.

It's all for her.

- It's for her.


DARLA: Well, it makes sense.

I've been taking tap

- since I was two.

- CHRISTOPHER L: Oh, my gosh.

DARLA: So, I'm like...

That's why I, like, have it.

Performers, attention.

Welcome to the first rehearsal

of Joan, Still.

I'm not gonna sugarcoat it.


physically and spiritually,

this is our most complicated

piece we've ever tried to do.

Most ambitious.

Now, we only have three weeks

to create a masterpiece.

It's on you now.

It's up to you.

So that's on your shoulders

as well as Joan's well-being

and her legacy. All on you.

But you so deserve it

on every level.

You guys are so talented,

so unbelievable.

This will break you.

This will fully destroy you.

Congratulations on being the

most talented kids at camp.



On a "mi," go.

ALL: (SINGING) Mi, mi, mi

Um, I'm just gonna go

and see if there's

any alcohol

that's been confiscated.

I'll just grab it

and I'll meet you at the f*re pit?

You know what? I just can't.

I can't come tonight.

I'm having insane

creative inspiration.

It's just coming out of me

at all ends.

No. Rebecca, Rebecca.

I'm not going

to the staff hang without you.

I'm gonna get stuck

listening to a story

about how Clive was nude

for the entire '80s.

And the dancers

start applauding for me.

And I had no idea why.

But, of course, I obliged

them with a deep curtsy.

And as I'm bowing,

I realize I'm still nude.


CLIVE: Oh, still nude.

Um, let's do a toast.

- Shall we, a toast to Joan?

- CLIVE: Praise be.

Right? A little toast.

Let me top everyone off.

I can feel that her spirit

is with us right now.

GIGI: Yes.

- She's here.

- She's here. She's here.

I have a little story for us.

So I was a camper here

and Joan said to me,

she looked me in the eyes,

she said,

"You're untalented.

"You can't dance.

You can't sing.

"You can't act.

"You're very bad at this.

"But you look amazing.

"Your skin is glowing and

your outfit is unbelievable."

And she was right.

RITA: At camp,

we have a tradition.

Every night,

a staff member or counselor

is gonna come in here

and do a show for you.

Tonight was supposed to be

Joan's night,

but Joan isn't here.

So tonight, I am going

to take her place

and read you

a special bedtime story.


My friends, by the f*re with my friends

Having fun with my friends


Gorgeous. Thank you, Rebecca.

Sorry. Sorry.

I just feel like this mood

is getting kind of like, sad.

You know what I mean?

Let's get crunk a little.


What are you doing here

at the camp?

Oh, I mean, like,

what are any of us doing here

- at the camp?

- No, no, no.

What are you doing?

I just wanna say your energy

is so chaotic.

I don't think so.

And I actually do

some energy healing

and any time

you wanna talk outside class,

I'm really happy

to sit down with you.

I'm chilling.

- You know what I mean?


I don't like this type of, um,


This is my voice.

No, I think it sounded

different three seconds ago.

No, that's how I talk.

"She was so excited to be

at this Equity open call.

"But she'd been waiting

for hours and hours.

"She could hear people singing

on the other side of the door.

"And then finally,

it was her turn.

"But when she walked

in the room,

"the men turned her away

"because she was non-union."

The end.

AMOS: We at one time

were going to pursue

an education in the theater

and we both actually

auditioned together

for a little-known institution

called Juilliard.

We were in

the waiting room, you know.

I had my monologue

all prepared.

I was doing

"Gallop Apace," Juliet.

She had Romeo in the tomb.

And then...

Gerald walked into

the waiting room. Gerald '08.


Gerald '08 walked in.


Just to catch you up, Janet,

we had a torrid affair.

Lot of, like,

will they, won't they.

The camp

was all abuzz about it.

We never really spoke or

touched or kissed, but it...

You know,

it was on everybody's lips.

And so he really threw

my pH balance, like, way off.

And Rebecca

could feel it, too,

because we kind

of share a soul.

And we are linked

artistically, emotionally...

- Completely. We are one.

- You're codependent?

Well, no, I would say that

we're dependent on each other.

So, anyways,

we were inches

from a callback,

slipped from our hands.

- It didn't happen.

- It didn't go our way.

- We both b*mb.

- No.



we've always wanted to do

a gender-reversed production

- of Romeo and Juliet.

- Mmm-hmm.

Why don't you do it?

Well, I would love to do it

with you.

And I've been working

really hard and taking...

I mean, you know, the absolute

goal at the end of the day

is, of course, to perform,

but I don't think

we're quite at that place.



- TROY: Ay, yikes.


Hi, Mr. Rubinsky,

this is Carl

from Warwick Bank.

If you do not make a payment

on your mortgage this week,

we will initiate

foreclosure proceedings.

Please take action to avoid

repossession of your camp.



"Repossession" means

the action of retaking

possession of something.

In particular, when a buyer

defaults on payments.




Oh, what a beautiful...

ALL: Morning!

(ON MIC) All right. First up,

minor housekeeping issue.

Whoever stole my CBD gummies,

please return them.

No questions asked.

I'm pretty sure

I know who it was,

so just go ahead

and cough that up.

I can't sleep without them.

GIRL: CisHet b*tch.


Okay. Thank you for that.

Thank you.

Food has been so good.

Keep it up.




- Hey, sorry. Are you...

- Sorry.

No, it was completely

my fault. You're fine.

Hey, uh, do you wanna

have lunch with me?

By the way,

thanks for not telling anyone

about the foreclosure.

I really appreciate that.

I don't know

if I can do this, man.

I have no idea how my mom

kept this place afloat.

I mean,

the bank's way up my ass.

Plus, Tim keeps complaining

about being woken up

by the kids' singing.

Who's Tim?

My Airbnb bunkie.

This guy named Tim. That guy.

- Hey!

- I really can't afford

a bad review right now.

I swear, dude, I can usually

get down with any vibe.

But these kids, man.

They just don't wanna

meet me halfway.

Every time I come up

with a plan,

they call me the Music Man .

I don't even know

what that is.

Well, it's a musical.

Everything's a g*dd*mn

musical here, man.

GLENN: Well, yeah, it is.

'Cause it's sort

of their entire lives.

Like those kids.

That's actually

last year's cast of Rent.

It was a very

formative production.

It's all about family.

It's all about community.

Okay, see, that's...

- that's helpful.

- Good.

What about them?

GLENN: Those are Fosse kids.

If they snap at you,

just know that they're not

trying to be demanding.

It's just part

of the vocabulary.

These kids are smart.

If you need their help,

you just have to

sort of meet them

on their level.

CLIVE: And starfish, starfish,

starfish, and starfish.

Jiggle like a jackal.

Jiggle like a jackal.

You need to know that only

3% of people make it.

The rest of them

end up in a mental facility

or on a go-go box

in Hell's Kitchen.

AMOS: Let's just get a few

more selections today

from my collected

original works,

as we do every year.

That's a low blow, Eileen.

And don't pretend my IBS

isn't part of

why you haven't wanted

to touch me

in almost a decade.

It's got nothing to do

with your IBS, Roger.

I want you

to live a little bit more

with the reality

of having IBS

and what that might do

to your character.

Because I'm not really feeling

the detail of the IBS.

I wanna live, Mother.

Let's just try to throw some

different spices in there.

A little bit of pain,

a little bit of stepfather.

Got it. So hand me

my g*dd*mn lipstick.

- And let me live.

- Good.

Mostly a lot better.

Thank you, Darla. Take a seat.

JANET: Okay.

Today's a new thing.

I'm teaching, um,

stage combat.

What is it?

What is it?

It's the art of surprise.

It pushes the envelope

of what theater can be.


But also

what do we think it is?

It causes our heart to skip

a b*at, but safely.

Does anybody have an answer

that's like, not poetry?

Maybe? You know what I mean?

Like a legal definition

of what it is.

It's basically like

teaching us how to fight.


We are starting

our past lives seminar.


You were a nurse

in World w*r II.

You fell in love with

one of your fellow nurses

and you were

the first lesbian nurse couple

that had ever lived.

Let that inform your singing.

You were President William

Howard Taft.


You are the oldest soul

in this room.

This is your last life.


Wow, thank you all.

Thank you all for that.

All right, artists.

Next, we're going

to be doing some...


Um... Uh...


I'm so sorry. (STUTTERS)

I'll be back.

I just have to take this.

It's all good.


Hi. Yes, I can be

available tonight.





All right, all-stars.


Look at this turnout.

Um, yes?

Are we doing a cabaret?

A what?

I think

it's a night of scene work.

That's totally what this is.

It's a night of scene work.

And here's the scene.

You guys are the staff

of a fine

dining establishment.

So anything those guys

in there order,

you say, "Yes,"

and then you bring it to them.

Like an improv exercise.

Can we make up

our own characters?

- MACKENZIE: And do accents?

- Okay.

Let's just get together here, Rotarians...

...and kick Oklahoma City's

fundraising ass.

Should we do that?

Huh? Cheers!


MAN: Cheers, cheers!

We're here thanks

to Troy Rubinsky.

- We're happy to have you guys.

- BILL: Thanks so much.

Thank you. Good. And I guess

we're gonna get served

by the campers here,

which I was not aware of.


BILL: Dressing?

No. Is there...

All right. Well...


Hey, just eat it dry,

I guess, huh.

It's crazy that this is their

first immersive

theater experience.

I know.

We have a big responsibility.

Can I offer you a roll?

Or the chilling tale

about how I lost my daughter?





Reminder. Pay rent to mom.

Remember to check in

with RD about the finale.

Papier-mch nose.

LAINY: Amos!


Rebecca missed her

nighttime performance.

That doesn't

sound like Rebecca.

Okay, but I'm craving

a performance.



I think it's going

pretty good.

The kids are getting

real into it.

GLENN: Your mom knows

what she's talking about.

We help our own.


There's been an att*ck.

BOY: This is how we go.

It's been a pleasure

serving with you.

My son! My son!

All of my children

are dying in this w*r.

Are they getting too into it?

- ALICE: Save yourselves!

- I just, um...

I just really wanna go home.

AMOS: Well,

as we all know by now,

our bedtime performer

is missing in action.

Uh, I really apologize.

Waiting for entertainment

that's expected

is a painful experience.

This is very impromptu,

so I didn't really

have anything prepared, but...

Peter Piper picked a peck

of pickled peppers. Wait.

The peppers were pickled

when he picked them?

Peter Piper picked a priority.

And what was that priority

that Peter Piper picked?


Friends. Connection.

He picked a life.

These were triggers.

This has lasting effects, okay?

One guy had sort of

a Vietnam flashback

and you had kids

serving liquor.

That's gotta be illegal.

It was interesting, but no.

It was a bit.

She was doing...

No. But let's settle

on 40 bucks.

- TROY: Mmm-hmm.

- Troy, please.

You let me down.

This did not work out.

Yeah. Okay. Um...







Mikey. I'm still this close

to signing Darla.


I'm in a middle

of a conversation.

You're supposed to be at dance

class. Come on. Let's go.

Ugh, jeez. Fine.


- ALAN: I even told her...

- Alan!

...that she would

get top billing.

RITA: Off the phone!

(SIGHS) Just one second.

RITA: No seconds. Let's go.



How much for three bags?

That was never the rate.

It has always been

five dollars.

These better be

genuine Throat Coat.


That's genuine Throat Coat.

That's genuine.

I don't even recognize you.

Where is my little Joan gone?

I'm still me, Tata.

No, your face is a new face.


It's called rouge, Tata.

DEVON: The cheeks of a hussy.

- Yeah, yeah.

- Let's hold. Let's hold.

Devon, you are on the stage,

but your partner

is fully alone.

And I think

you really need to...

I think that ultimately,

Devon, you need to just

kind of let in the pain

of being a father.

Like we need

to feel that pain.


But I'm not a father.

I don't know how to do that.

Did Julianne Moore

really have dementia? (SCOFFS)

(WHISPERS) No. No. No.

AMOS: Do the

connection exercise.

And then we'll try it again.


Thank you

for all you're doing.

Thank you.

Aren't you gonna

say something?


You missed

your bedtime performance.

That's so unlike you.

What happened?

I'm so sorry.

I was just finishing

the finale

and I got distracted...

Yeah, I'm sure... This finale,

it's like this is repeated.

It's like, I love you,

but, we're getting

towards crunch time, okay?

And you have

other responsibilities

- which I know you know.

- I'm just playing catch up.

Okay, but just I need

my gal with me, so...

- I got you.

- Okay.

I'm still me, Tata.

No. Using your little hands

to write letters to the devil

and never once

to shape pierogi.

Just because dumplings

aren't my priority

anymore doesn't mean any...

You never once sent a suitor

home to your dying Tata.

This is not the Joan

that I know.

You know what, Tata?

You're right.

I decide who Joan is,

and I may not be who Joan was,

but, Tata, I am Joan, still.

- That got better.

- Better.


That got better.

Very good.

Devon, the accent's

all over the place,

but it's much better.


Mackenzie, extraordinary.

Mac. That was so good.

- Thank you.

- SEBASTIAN: Amazing.

- CHRISTOPHER L: She k*lled it.

- Stop!

(WHISPERS) She's using.

(SIGHS) Lift up your hands.


(WHISPERS) She wouldn't.

Tear stick.

It's just Chapstick, I swear.

Give it to me.


Mackenzie, I'm not mad.

I'm just furious.

Your tears should come

from within, from the story,

from the words on the page,

not from some emotional

grenade that you smuggled in.

What's a tear stick?

AMOS: Insult to the material.


It's a mentholated eyeliner

that helps you cry.

Joan is screaming

and furious at you.

Because tear sticks

are doping for actors.

Do you wanna be the

Lance Armstrong of theater?

- No.

- Get off the stick.

(SNIFFLES) Get off the stick.



One day it's tear stick.

The next

you're calling for line

and pretty soon

your understudy's

on eight times a week

in Weehawken

or God knows where. Okay?

It's a slip-ry, slip-ry slope.

Devon, I'm so sorry.


Really, it's fine.

Tell him you're sorry.

I'm sorry, Devon.

It's really fine.

I choose to forgive.

But we don't forget.

But until the end,

the law can forgive.


But without ever forgetting.



Hi! Welcome to AdirondACTS.

You guys having fun?

Enjoying the party? Yeah.



FRANNY: Oh, my God, Lainy,

why would you do that?

You piss me off, like, a lot.


Let's go.

Stage combat.

You think this is fun

and games? Hitting?

It's not funny.

You're right. It's art.

- WENDY: No. It's not.

- Grow up.

Excuse me.

Have you seen Rebecca-Diane?

Is she out there? No?


Where is she?


Yo, what up, AdirondACTS?

Welcome, Lakeside.

Just want you to know this

is not a free event for you.

Okay? Unless you're verified.

Thanks for coming out.

Man, this is a dream show

for me.

I know this one's

a theater camp classic, so

thought I'd put

a little twist on it.


Give my regards to Broadway

Remember me to Herald Square

Send my regards

to Broadway, b*tch!


Whisper of how I'm yearning

To mingle

with the old-time throng

TROY: Put 'em up!

Put 'em up! Put 'em up!



Give my regards to Old Broadway

And say

I'll be there 'ere long

TROY: That's what's up!

TROY: I know you're busy,

so I don't wanna

take too much of your time,

but the vibes are pretty good

in there, huh?

- Uh, sure.

- That was me DJing.

But look.

So I know, you know,

the Rotary Club thing

didn't really go to plan.

You took a lot of my kids

out of rehearsal for that.

I get that and I'm sorry,

and I'm still perfecting

the formula here,

but I've recently had,

like, a surge of ideas,

you know, that would bring

some additional revenue.

You know, one of 'em is, like,

maybe we send the kids

into the city to do,

like, singing telegrams.

Okay. Incredibly dangerous.

Maybe we do

like remote students.

But, okay. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

TROY: Maybe, maybe...

We don't need any

of these ideas, okay, Troy?

We don't need

any of these ideas.


Your mother managed

to keep this place running

in the face

of a lot of financial trouble

and never once

did she compromise

the artistic vision

to save money. Okay?

Right. (STUTTERS) You know,

that's kind of what

I'm trying to get after.

Yes. No, no, no. I understand.

I understand that.

But what you don't understand

is the importance

of what we do here, okay?

This place is for people

who need it, okay?

People who aren't accepted

anywhere else.

You are not

one of those people, Troy.

You are not one of us.





Oh. Not her.

Be sure to cherish

these relationships, okay?

'Cause they're gone

in a flash.

Just wanted you to know that.

CAROLINE: Of course,

she's gonna cry.

I'm laying her off

'cause she cries too much.

- TROY: Mrs. Krauss.

- Oh. Hi.

Dope that you made it.


I'm happy to be here.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

So, um, things have taken

a bit of a turn here

and I've been thinking

about the offer.

Me too.

A lot.

Yeah. Um...

I just feel like

it would be a,

you know, lucrative

and mutually beneficial partnership.

Like for the both of us though.

Wow. Well, that's great.


So, like,

does the offer still stand?

Yes, Troy.

Barnswell would love

to work with you.


- Yeah.

- Nice.

I have to say I'm super

excited to work with someone

who knows the TUVs

of deal making.

Did you just say the TUVs?

Trust. You won't regret it.

And vibes.

Trust. Won't regret it. Vibes.

You've been watching my vlogs?

(CHUCKLES) Religiously.


The GoPro loves you.

- Don't understand.

- SEBASTIAN: I'm here

- having a wonderful time.





(STUTTERS) It's not

what it looks like.


What the hell is this?

We were supposed to be

manifesting. It's a full moon.

They were saying no one

at theater camp

could play football.

I'm just proving to them

that I could.





Oh, my God.

Good morning, girlboss.

Coffee. You've gone crazy.

TROY: I'm wild.

- Oh, man.



Thank you.

So, last night

was pretty hot, huh?

(CHUCKLES) It was really hot.

You were so bussin'.

I came here just to do work

and I ended up

meeting someone

- who took my breath away.

- Same.

Then, like,

shoved it back in my mouth.

God, I just feel like

I can really, like,

reach my full potential here.

You know.

Yeah. Me too.

With Barnswell's backing,

like, I can finally,

you know, start to implement

some real change

around this place.

Troy, don't you remember

the agreement

that you signed last night?

Yeah, it was to get us out

of the foreclosure.


Welcome to Tech Week, campers.

(ON SPEAKERS) Performances

are just a few days away,

so let's stay focused on

bringing those shows to life.

And if you have any issues,

you look for Glenn.

I'm sure he'll have time

to help you.

- MAN 1: (ON RADIO) Glenn.

- Go for Glenn.

LAINY: Glenn,

we need you in props.

MAN 1: Glenn,

where's our bush?

MAN 2: Glenn, where's my damn

wagon wheel?

MAN 1: Glenn?

WOMAN: Glenn,

what's your 20?

There's a leak in the lobby.

MAN 1: Glenn, we're missing

the king's cane.



Oh, my God, Gigi,

move it along.

- I'm trying.

- This is not giving.

I'm trying, okay?

My nails are gonna break.

RITA: (ON RADIO) Glenn, Glenn,

the smoke machine

is out of control.

GLENN: Zeroing in

on the source.


Oh, God, I'm dodging pilgrims

left and right.


- Thank you.

- MAN 1: Glenn?

Go for Glenn.


Darla, can you just move

a little bit to your right?

Just scooch the... Yes, bring

the bassinet. That's right.


And I think it should just

be a little bit to the left.

I think it just

doesn't make sense.

Darla, step to the right.


I think we had discussed

that everything

would be on the left

for this number,

so let's just...

We're gonna go ahead

and put it where we...

Darla, this is your

director speaking.

You're gonna go ahead

and move to the right

- with the bassinet.

- Co-director here as well.

And just move on

over to the left

and get too far on that side

so we can't quite

bring you back.

Joan's whole world has been

established stage right.

So you're gonna take

two steps to the right.

That's where we always

play her hero moments.

Now cheat out. Cheat out.


Why are you acting like this?

I'm just a little bit tired

of co-directing with a ghost.

Well, I'm not a ghost.

I am a human person

that is alive. I am here.

I care about this show.

Do you?

I wouldn't have any idea.

You've been completely absent

since the beginning

of the session, okay?

And I need to run

my rehearsal now.

So, thank you.

Darla, let's just

run the song, okay?

You're fine right there.

Music, please.




Thought my dreaming was done

All I needed was one

Revelation to show me my boy

That my life had truly g*n

So I offer the sun

Salutation Hello to my Troy

I will build this theatrical place

Giving children a safe, loving space

It will grow from the magic and grace

That I see in your face



can I talk to you?

No, I'm in the middle of tech.


- Troy.

- Real quick. Real quick.


Know your dream's never done

You're my moon and my sun

My foundation, my beautiful Troy

TROY: Hey. Look.

I'm sorry for even asking.

I feel really weird

even bringing this up.

I don't have time. We're

in the middle of tech week.

- TROY: No, I get that.

- So just tell me what's up.

I get that. I just...

Do you think you could give my

mom a message for me?

Yeah, for sure.

I'll give your mom a message.

TROY: No, no, no.

Please. It's really important.


- I hear that.

- TROY: It's really important.


I just don't have time.

Just tell her I need her help.

Say, "Troy needs your help."

Five, six, seven, eight.

We're going towards the nose.

Live it up and step.

Step towards the nose.

Head to the nose.

I don't choose

when she comes inside of me.

Okay, but can you just try?

Mom, please!

- What are you doing?

- You said she was in you.

She's not in my breasts.

I'm not that...

I'm not... That's not...

Tell her it's important.

Just tell her...

Please tell her

it's important.

Tell her

it's really important.

Okay. Okay, I'm gonna...

All right.

I just need to talk to her.

- Okay.

- Okay.



It's your mom.


Thank God. It's so good

to hear your voice.

I know it's been a minute

since we've chatted.


I miss you.

Kind of a lot.

You know, I'm sorry

for not trying harder

to understand

what you were doing here

with this place and this camp.

I was a kid, you know.

I just wanted to

go to sleepovers

at Dakota's house

and set cool away messages

and make my Sims

have sex and...


you said there was something

that you actually needed.

- You're right. I always do this.

- And it was urgent.


I should have tried harder

to understand

what you were doing here.

Because, you know, I get it.

These people are really weird.

Especially Rebecca-Diane.

But they're wonderful.

Look, I messed up, Mom. Okay?

And I'm really sorry,

and I hope you forgive me.

And I really need

your advice right now,

but I'm sorry I sold the camp.


AMOS: (ON MIC) Rebecca-Diane?

What'd my mom say?

What the...




we are at a standstill.

Good work, you guys.


Welcome back.

Uh, we need to see

the finale now.

- Yeah.

- We are out of time.

- So we need to hear it.

- Let's do the finale tomorrow.

REBECCA-DIANE: Sounds good?

Okay, well,

tomorrow's our only chance

to run the entire show.

So I at least

need to hear it musically,

so I can block something,

and these kids

can start to learn it.


- Because tomorrow they have

to run it top to bottom

and then perform it.

So let's hear

the finale song, please.

It's just so unfortunate,

because we do not

have the track,

so that we don't have any way

to play the song.

So you can just

sing it for us.

I've lost my voice.

Okay, well... You're gonna

have to find it again.

And we have this.

So you can just

play it yourself for us. Okay?

You love this.

There you go.

Who's excited

to hear the finale?



And what is it called?

It's called...


That's original.



Girl with an open Snapple

A boy who's looking down

We all come here for



Isn't home

But isn't it?

In a way

It kind of is

Oh, it

Kind of is

Let's raise a toast

But in the glass isn't alcohol

It's something more profound than alcohol

It's truth

Drums, boom, boom, boom.







All coming together for


What the f*ck was that?

It was the finale.

You're telling me

that's something

that you wrote

before just now?

That's the song

that you needed time away

from meaningful traditions,

missing time with the kids,

ruining the process of

creating this piece together

because you've been running

off working on the finale.

It was that?


I'm not an idiot, okay?

You made that up.

So I'm just

trying to understand

what you thought

we were gonna do today.

You were just gonna

have these kids

have no ending to the show?

You said, "I got the finale.

I can do it."

So I trusted you

like I always do.

What have you been doing

all this time?

I got a job, okay?

What, like you're tutoring

kids in singing?

What are you talking about?

I just signed a two-year

contract with Duchess Cruises.

I'm a featured soloist in

Cole Porter on the Waves.

So yeah,

I've been a little distracted.

AMOS: Sorry, you're taking

a performance job?

Since when are you

taking performance jobs?

Because I wanna be

a performer!

Okay, I thought we were both

full-time teachers

aspiring to be performers.

When is that gonna happen?

I wanna perform.

Well, that's great. I just

wish maybe you'd told me.

I always thought maybe we'd

make that decision together

- like we do most things.

- It's impossible

to tell you anything

because you interrupt

- everything that I say.

- That's not true.

I do not interrupt everything

that you say, Rebecca.

I'm just trying to share

my feelings with you...

Every single thing that I...

...the way

that I have for 15 years.

- Every single thing that I...

- That's not true, Rebecca.

Everything that I say.

I am unable to...

That's not true, Rebecca.

That is not true.

How could you do this to me?


This has nothing

to do with you.


Why would you do something

that has nothing

to do with me?

Let that statement

just sit in the space.

It looks great. I stand by it.

I mean... (STUTTERS) What?

I don't understand

what you're getting at.

I just want something else.

That should be okay.

That's really nice for you,

Rebecca, but you shouldn't

leave the best kids

in the camp in the lurch

with no show to perform.

- Okay, I've...

- That was selfish.

I make sacrifices for them.

Because they're talented

and they deserve it.

I sacrifice

everything else in my life

for this job and for them.

What do you sacrifice?

I got a callback

for Juilliard.

And I didn't go because

I wanted to be here with you.

You've just kinda been lying

to me for like, 10 years.

I'm happy for you, Rebecca.

I'm thrilled for you.

I think it's great that

you've left these kids

with no show

and all for a cruise.

A non-narrative piece

on a cruise.



- Excuse me.

- Hi.

Um... Guys,

this is a teardown.

Um, can we get this up?

Can we see what's under here?

Yeah, we're gonna tear the...

- TROY: Maybe don't. Maybe...

- ...the place down.

- Let's see what's under here.

- TROY: Do we need to do this?

Let's talk this out first.

I don't think

we need to do that.

Sorry, we're in the middle

of rehearsal.

Hi. We're in the middle

of something too. Hi.

Troy, what's going on?

No, it...

Everything's fine, guys.

Everything is gonna be okay.

- It doesn't look okay.

- ALICE: No, it's not.

No, it's not.

What are they doing?

Listen, I know this place

meant a lot to you.

But I do hope you'll consider

joining the Lakeside family

next summer.


- What does that mean?

- Not happening, lady.

Troy, you sold the camp

to Lakeside?

It's more of a partnership.

- Demolition is next week.

- Just stop. Please, stop.

Next week? Tell them...


Can she be gone now?


Nobody wants you here.

CHRISTOPHER S: Get her and her

knockoff Chanel bag

out of here.

TROY: It will be okay.


CLIVE: Cheer up, kids.



MACKENZIE: This is like,

my first time sneaking out.


ALICE: Shush!

DARLA: I know

we're all scared right now

and we don't know

if the show's happening.

I heard that the Lakeside kids

get to be

in all the shows now, too.

Lainy told me

that Troy smokes dr*gs.

I heard, that they're cutting

all of the tone-deaf kids.

SEBASTIAN: Hey, guys.

Rumors are rumors.

This could be our

last week here. Maybe ever.

So let's make our mark

while we can.

We don't know

what's gonna happen.

But as Joan always says,

summers come and go.

But what happens

on this stage,

that's eternal.

AMOS: Jesus.

Hey, sorry to bother you,

but are we planning

on rehearsing later?

Let's see. Our composer

has deserted us

and I refuse to tell

a slapdash,

trainwreck version

of Joan's story,

so, no.

The show is d*ad in the water.

Okay, well, I have this

Zoom director's session

for a movie

about a pregnant gymnast.

They're already filming,

and someone dropped out.

And I was wondering

if you could help me?


I can't stomach industry sides

right now.

So just let me

hang my shirts in peace.

I could really use your help

with the characterization.

What are the character's



Oh, God,

we have a lot of work to do.

Let's get a notebook,

and let's start taking some notes.

Wow, "one of,"

I'd love to know

who these other teachers are.



DEVON'S DAD: Here he comes.

Hi, baby!


DEVON: Hey, Dads.


Oh, God, I missed you.



- TROY: My guy, massive news.

I think I figured out

how to save the camp.


So I was going over the

Barnswell deal that I signed,

like all last night

and this morning

and I noticed they only take

possession of the camp

if the bank forecloses.

Caroline just assumed that we

would fail. But the truth is

we still can come up with the

money to hold off the bank.

And how do you expect us

to find this money, Troy?

That is where the

en-Troy-preneurship comes in.

- Right.

- I sent out an email blast

to my ride or dies,

the Founding Ballers,

and I invited them

to the show.

Right? These guys are like

primo business influencers, Glenn.

So if they come here,

and they see

our little freaky-deakies

in action,

crushing Joan, Still,

they'll have to invest.

They'll be

emptying their pockets.

Yeah, no, they sound,

uh, extremely legit.


Um, and I think it's nice that

you wanna do this for the camp

and for your mom,

but we don't have any creative

visionaries left. Okay?

What are you talking about?

Yes, we do.

We have you, Glenn.

Show everyone how much

they've been

underestimating you.

Finish the job.


SEBASTIAN: Totally, Glenn. Come on, Glenn.

Glenn, you got this.

Come on, Glenn.

TROY: What do you say, man?


What's up,

my little dollar ballers?

It's your boy Salem here

with my other

Founding Ballers out here.

And we're out here checking

on a potential

investment opportunity.

Things are a little crazy,

and your boy, Salem...

I'm feeling a little volatile.

So I'm gonna take a chance,

- and we're gonna see some little kids...

- Ballers. Wow.

Given the current ecosystem

of the crypto...

The whole squad. What's up, Salem?

Yeah, give me a second here. Yeah,

I'm just gonna finish this one quick.

Yeah, yeah, totally.

What's bussin'?

What's bussin'?

Hey. What's bussin', guys?

I can't believe you guys came.

Yeah, man.

Thanks for having us.

- I've seen like every vlog.

- Oh, yeah? Yeah. Yeah.

I got your merch.

I have that shirt.

Heard she's the lead in this one.

TROY: I just wanna say thank

you all for all your hard work

in the last 24 hours.

I look around and I see

a lot of prepared faces.

I'd say no pressure, but...

it's a little bit of pressure.

You know?

Gigi, you got anything?

Um, I would like to say

that I was very angry

with you guys

a couple hours ago.

Uh, but I'm over it.

All right, guys.

Put your hands in. Come on.

- One, two, three!

- ALL: Joan, Still!


BOY: Let's do this!

Sorry. Uh, can someone

just tell me

like, the status

on this woman?

Is she alive or d*ad?

You're a liar.

Excuse me?

A very good one.

I think you'd make

a fantastic agent.

I'm trying to get my company

off the ground.

Think about it.

I'm always here.

Excuse me.



AMOS: Kids. Kids, have you

seen Darla? Darla anywhere?



Darla, you have to go on.

(PANTING) You see

what they're doing?

They're ruining our show.

Why are you leaving?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, Amos, okay?

You must be Amos.

Oh, my granddaughter has had

the best time with you

this summer.

We have got

the most gushing letters.

Well, she said you were

a little tough on her, but...

her craft

has never been better.

Oh, um...

Hurry up and say

your goodbyes, honey.

Quickly, because we don't

wanna catch traffic. (KISSES)

You always told me

that I needed

to open myself up

to character roles,

that ingnue isn't everything.

I listened,

and I booked the job.

Maybe I'll see you

next summer.


Good evening, AdirondACTS.


Special shout-out to my crew,

Founding Ballers.

Thanks for coming out.

As most of you know,

my name is Troy,

and I've been blessed

with having an amazing mother.

- A woman...

- Oh, my God.

...all of you know and love.

Unfortunately, she is unable

to be with us tonight.

So we've decided

to bring the show

to her via a live feed.

Give it up for Joan!

She really looks good.

I think she's lost weight.

I think so, too.

Our kids have worked their

little butts off all summer

to do my mom's story justice

and to hopefully bring you

the best night of your lives.

Are you ready?


This one's for you, Mom.

Let's blow the roof off

that ICU!


Joan now

Joan does


Troy, it's me. Troy, it's me.

You know, I don't think

this show is gonna work out.

- Shh.

- Joan will

Shh. Are you playing a game?

Joan can

Joan still

Tonight we take you

to the start

of our great founder's

b*ating heart.

Our tale begins in '63.

A young girl

and her father flee.

Though planes could fly

and girls could vote,

for some reason,

they took a boat.



We're sailing to America

In 1963

Oh, my little Joan, come.

Look at the horizon.

Think of all the possibilities

that await you.

(SINGING) In America

Enlightened nation

Where even women get education

From clean to cook, every skill you need

Don't fret, I'll tell the recipes

'Cause women cannot read

Hey! Women cannot read

Women cannot read

A, B, C, D, she don't know

'Cause women cannot read

MACKENZIE: Okay, I know

there's something better

DEVON: America


Than to cook and do the cleaning

DEVON: Enlightened nation

- But I look at every letter

- Where even women

- And I wanna know its meaning

- Get education

I'm wrestling with these words

DEVON: From clean to cook

That I'm an inch away

from knowing

DEVON: Every skill you need

My eyes are moving

back and forth

The sense of it is growing


- Jifka was sh*t!



Maybe she can read

- No way!

- Maybe she can read

DEVON: That's luck

A, B, C, D, she can't know!

CHORUS: Or maybe she can read!



So Joan ended the affair

with her

astrology professor

and she used her diploma

to get a job

as a mailroom clerk

at the New York

Stock Exchange.



SEBASTIAN: If I'm not making money,

then I'm losing money.

If I'm losing money,

you're losing your job

and you're all fired!


From my corner in the mailroom

Under the ground I hear

CHORUS: The Wall Street noise!

It's a beautiful sound

Sorting letters, getting older

Makin' minimum pay

While the brokers get richer

I could listen all day

When you buy, it's the feeling

Of a-jumpin' to the ceiling

CHORUS: Buy the stock

Buy the stock

Buy the stock

Then martini time, boys.

(SINGING) Will I ever be part

of the Wall Street noise?


It's a shimmy in the shoulders

When you talk to the shareholders

Guiltless greed

is one of life's great joys

Maybe someday I'll stomp

In the Wall Street


They messed up one

little turn, but it's okay.

I didn't see it.

I think we should

just move forward.


Sell the stocks shareholders buy

Sell the stocks shareholders buy

Sell the stocks, shareholders!

And as Joan rose through

the ranks of the company

and her profits

grew and grew,

so did she!


Is that the tech guy?

Somebody get me portfolios

on line four.

I'll be in my corner office.

- Sure thing, boss.

- Let's do this.

(SINGING) You do this

You do that

Fix that graph and get me stats

CHORUS: She's a stock broker

Deep down and dirty dealing

Got the checks

Got the cash

And I'm smashing that glass ceiling


Now she's part of this sound

And I found my voice

CHORUS: As she's making people millions

Screwing innocent civilians

With her fab flap and brilliance

In the Wall Street




CHORUS: Studio 54!

Dark room

Bright lights

Debbie Harry wearing tights

CHORUS: Stiff drink

High heels

David Geffen doing deals


Lovers and strangers and big chandeliers

Got no home to go to

So I'm staying here

- CHORUS: Live it up

- Like there's no tomorrow

CHORUS: Tomorrow, give it up

GLENN: To the groovy

- CHORUS: Disco glittery light

- Disco glittery light

CHORUS: Live it up

'Cause if there's no tomorrow

Nothing matters to me

So get lost inside the boogie tonight

And cue cocaine.


Live it up

Don't you have school tomorrow?

CHORUS: Give it up

Suddenly, the disco doesn't feel right

CHORUS: Give away

The troubles and the sorrow

Someone's gotta save ya

From degenerate behavior tonight

Quick. Give me

your hand, little girl.

I'll save you.

I'm an artiste,

and artistes

don't need saving.

Sometimes they do!

Wow, Joan. You were right.

I guess I did need your help.

Have you ever

considered becoming...

a teacher?


I'll make it through tomorrow

Only gonna have three cocktails a week

I'll quit my job tomorrow

These children matter to me

So I'll apply to SUNY


Jesus, he's good.


Thought my dreaming was done

All I needed was one

Revelation to show me my boy

(WHISPERING) That kid's good.

I'm gonna make him a star.

I was actually

just thinking the same thing.

GLENN: Now I offer this sun Salutation

Hello to my Troy

I will build this theatrical place


Hey, do you like this?

I'm over here, I'm like...


CHRISTOPHER S: And finally,

after selling her father's

beloved pierogi recipe

for a small fortune,

Joan purchased

a beautiful plot of land

located right in the middle

of the Adirondack Mountains.

This land is beautiful.

And the stage could go here.

And all the children looking

for somewhere to belong.

I can almost see them.


A girl with an open Snapple

A boy who's looking down

The faces and the memories

That we have from right now

Raise a glass for everyone

That will come through these halls

But in the glass isn't alcohol

It's something more profound

And the halls aren't halls at all

Of course, they're trees

And lakes

And birds

CHORUS: We all fly

To find a place we can belong

We all fly

To find a place we can call home

Camp isn't home

But is it kind of?

Kind of it is

I think it kind of is

BOTH: Camp isn't home

But is it kind of?

I think it kind of is

Where every kid picked last in gym

Finally makes the team


Where square pegs find their holes

And outcasts find their dreams


It's a melting pot where belting girls

And boys in tiny shorts


Come to find forever friendships

Just four hours from New York

We all fly

To find a place we can belong

We all fly

To find a place we can call home

A place we can call Joan

Camp isn't home

But is it kind of?

Kind of it is

I think it kind of is

It kind of is

Camp isn't home

But is it kind of?

I think it kind of is

We all fly

Camp taught me

that my words are powerful.

Without camp,

I would've never known

I could sing a high F

above middle C.

At camp, I learned that

you don't have to be pretty

to be talented.

It's just a bonus.

(WHISPERING) I'm sorry.

- I'm sorry.

- You finished the song.

It's so beautiful.

I did it for you.

You should do whatever

you wanna do

and pursue your dreams, okay?

I'm going to stay here.

If there is a here,

I belong here.

Well, I'll come back

all the time.

- Promise?

- I promise.

You're not getting rid of me.

At camp,

I learned to live in my truth

as a heterosexual man.

We knew. (SOBBING)

We always knew, buddy.

Good job.

Glenn is amazing.

Glenn is so good,

it makes me upset.

- It's insane.

- It makes me upset.


CHORUS: (SINGING) We all fly

Camp isn't home

But is it kind of?

Kind of it is

I think it kind of is

Camp isn't home

But is it kind of?

I think it kind of is

Camp isn't home

But is it kind of?

Kind of it is

I think it kind of is

Camp isn't home

But is it kind of?

I think it kind of is

I hope I see you next summer.

Thanks for being

so hard on me.

I know it was

for a good reason.

Harness this pain and use it

in the future, okay?


Camp isn't home

But is it kind of?

I think it kind of is

Joan, Still



TROY: Yeah.

AMOS: That's lit!


- WOMAN: Bravo! Bravo!

- She's awake!

I have no idea what this was,

who set this up,

why I'm watching this,

but what a pleasure!

What a thrill! What talent!

Uh, must have set it up

in the wrong room.

You lifted my spirits, kids.

Yeah, that was my bad.

And Joan, what a woman she is.

But Joan, Still, right?

That is something

to celebrate.

I can't wait to see you

on Broadway.

You kids are wonderful.

You're all going to be big,

big stars!




Don't let Troy run the camp!

Oh, you're up, huh?

I just saw a whole show

about your life.

The kids did an amazing job.

(SINGING) Camp isn't home

Oh, what a song.

You slept through it.

I watched it.

Well, um, do you know

why I'm here?





(SINGING) Bye class

We're done

The ghosts of our past selves are done

We are gone, we are gone

We are now new people

We are now new people

We are now the children of the plants


Thank you guys so much.

I'll see you next week.

Or tomorrow. I don't remember.
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