Halfway to Amarillo (2023)

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Halfway to Amarillo (2023)

Post by bunniefuu »

[wind whistling]

[dramatic western music playing]

[doors closing]

[Michael] The sh**t

is action in its purest form.

[western music continues]

Take away the stunts...

the explosions...

the w*apon...

and you're left

with the characters.

It's about two people...

ten feet apart.

No fancy tricks.

It's about what brought them

to this point.

What brought these characters

to where

they're willing to die...

just for the opportunity

to k*ll the other person?

[music stops]

I'm just not as captivated

by Westerns as you are.

It's all

I can think about.

And all you can talk about.

And for someone

who has a deadline,

you're spending

way too much time talking.

Yeah, you're right.

So Eli

just got to Amarillo.

He's there

to k*ll Sheriff Ambrose,

and he's pissing

on the side of the saloon.

And that's where I'm stuck.

Mid-stream, I literally

don't know how to finish a piss.

Forget where the rest

of the story's going.

Just ask your editors

for another extension.

I don't wanna get

a reputation, you know?

Besides, good writing comes

from deadlines and pressure,

when your back's

up against the wall.

Look what I found.

Bow! [chuckles]

I was thinking

this could help, you know,

get into

the right frame of mind.

I thought

you were sick of Westerns.

I am.

But I'm not quite

sick of you.

Well, at the very least

it's an excuse to play dress-up.

And I think you should

start tonight, partner.


Dinner and a movie?

I got this deadline.

I know. I-- I'm sorry.

[scoffs] Michael, all you do

is wake up and grind away.

That's what writers do.

They also live their lives.

Come on.

You're gonna make me beg?

Okay, fine.

For you,

and only for you...

I will take a break.

All right.

Well, I need

to get back to work.

-I'll see you tonight?

-I'll see you tonight.

All right. Later.

[western music playing]

[rock music playing over stereo]

[phone alarm blaring]

[phone] Warning.

Warning. Warning. Warning.

[quirky music playing]

Brought you something.

Mom, I already have

four of those. They still work.

I mean,

from the looks of this place,

I just assumed

they were broken.

Okay, great.

Thanks. I get it.

I'll-- I will--

I'll use this Swiffer.

Are you busy?

I gotta get back to work.

Okay, okay.

Let me just put this

in the back room.

Okay, fine.

[footsteps retreating]

Honey, where do you keep

your Clorox wipes?



I can clean my own place.

Can you get out?

Can you?

Yes! I--

I gotta get back to work.

I'll call you later.

Okay, okay, sweetie.

May I use the restroom, though,

before I go, is that okay?

-Of course. Fine.

-Okay. All right.

All right.

Don't wanna disturb you.

Just make it quick.

[Michael sighs]

[vacuum whirring]



Get the f*ck out.

[whirring stops]

[western music playing]

[music fades]

[Naomi] Sorry, I didn't have

time to go home and change.

[tense music playing]

[Michael sighs]

What the hell is going on?

-I'm f*cked.


I'm f*cked.

I got a draft due in 72 hours,

and I got nothing. I'm f*cked.

Okay, you are freaking me out.

Sorry, I don't mean

to freak you out.

I'm just f*cked.

Okay, Michael,

what's the problem?

And don't say

that you're f*cked.

f*ck, I don't know!

I mean, look!

I've been staring

at these cards for four hours.


You know why

you can't come up with anything?

Because you don't do anything.

Ask your editor

for an extension.

I'm sure they'd rather have

something great in a month

than something shitty now.

Well, I--

I don't wanna disappoint them.

They're your editors,

not your parents.

Disappoint them

and who gives a damn?

If they don't like it,

then you get new editors.

-It's not that easy.

-It can be.

-No, it can't.

-Why not?

-It's complicated.

-Well, make it less complicated.

-It's not that easy.

-Oh, my gosh. [chuckles]

Okay, I'm tired

of hearing about it.

I am tired

of hearing about Eli West

and Sheriff f*cking Ambrose.

All you do

is b*tch about this idea,

so maybe

you're just not that into it.

It's always your publishers

or your editors or your readers.

Maybe it's you.

You are miserable,

and it's making me miserable.

Look at me!

I just got off

a really long shift.

I'm still in my uniform.

I come over here

because we're supposed

to have a date night.

You promised

and then forgot.

And then promised

and forgot again.

And I get that

you have work to do,

but I am sick

of taking a back seat.

A back seat?

I'm not even

in the damn car.

Of course

you're in the car.

I'm not.

You forgot me

just like you forgot dinner.


-I got a deadline!

What do you want me to do?

There's always a deadline.

There's always a new chapter...

a new book, a new idea.

And I've seen enough to know

that you clearly can't handle

work and a relationship.

I don't wanna live

like this anymore.

Wait, we can talk

about this, okay?

We can work on it.

You and me, together.

Just later.

I don't think we can.

[footsteps retreating]


-[Naomi sighs] I have to go.


[door slams]

-Hey, dude.


Oh, geez.

You look like sh*t.

Make it a good one.

What are you guys

doing here?

Uh, we're here

to play poker?

We thought

you could use some company.

Look, I appreciate it, guys,

thank you.

But I gotta finish a draft

of Amarillo by Monday morning.

That's the title?

Sundown In Amarillo.

What, you don't like it?

It's, like,

good for a work-y thing-y.


At least take this.

It's kind of like

what Hemingway said.

You know,

"Write drunk, edit sober."

Yeah, was that before

or after he k*lled himself?

[Benny] Uh, I think before.

Everything's gonna be okay.

Just give us

a call in the morning.

And remember,

don't think about Naomi.


-You're an idiot.

I was just trying

to help!

If you're trying to help,

you might as well

just punch him in the face.

I'm not really sure

how that would help him.

[melancholy western

music playing]

[urine trickling]


[music warping]


-[goat bleating]

-[urine trickling]

Gonna tie my pecker to a


to a tree, to a tree

Gonna tie my pecker

to a tree

Gonna tie my pecker to a


to a tree, to a tree

Gonna tie my pecker

to a tree

Gonna tie

my pecker to a tree...

What the f*ck?

To a tree, to a tree--

The f*ck?

[urine continues trickling]

-Who the f*ck--

-[Michael shouts]

Ew-- f*ck!

[Eli sighs]

[g*n cocks]

The f*ck?

What are you doing

in my yard?

Your yard?

Ain't the Stanley's?

Who the f*ck is Stanley?

Stanley's Saloon?

Does this look like

a f*ck' saloon?

Am I in Amarillo?

Am-- Texas?

No, you're not in Texas.

This is LA.


Yeah, California.



This isn't California!

Who are you?

-Eli West.

-[b*llet clinks]

Who the hell are you?

Did you say Eli West?

How do you know that name?

Who are you?

Just said

I'm Elijah f*ck' West.

Now answer my question.

Come up with your name now.

I'm Michael.

This is my house.

Why are you pissing

on my fence?

Figured I was at Stanley's.

Use a f*ck' toilet.

Toilet, you mean

like a French shitter?

-Like a what?

-[Eli laughing]

I don't see no shitter.


You keep a shitter

inside your house?

Where else

would I keep it?

Outside the house.

Like in an outhouse?

Wait, go back.

Why did you say Eli West?

-Who are you?

-You asked me, peckerwood.

It's Elijah West.

Stop doing that!

Did Jordan send you here?


Yeah. Or my mom?

Eli West isn't real.

He's a character from a book.

Oh, sh*t. I guess I got a little

bit of a legend going on.

No, man.

He's a character from my book.

I created him.

Mister, I don't know

who you think you are,

but there's only one creator,

and that's the Lord Almighty.

f*ck this.

All right,

if you're Eli West,

what's your horse's name?

[clicks tongue] That's tough.


Okay, then

what about your parents?

Jesse and Marie West.

sh*t in cold blood

when I was a little boy.

Okay, man.

It's not funny anymore.

I know it ain't funny.

I was there.

-Single darkest day of my life--

-Yeah, I know, I know.

Single dark--

I know the story.

Are you insinuating

you know them?

Know them?

I f*ck' wrote them.

Okay, you've just about

crossed the line, mister.

I crossed the line? [scoffs]

-Who are you?

-Are we really back at that?

-[scoffs] You're insane.

-I'm insane?

You're the one

that thinks he's God Almighty.

You're not real.

Eli West is not real.

Well, I guess that piss

you're drenched in

ain't real then neither.

I'm losing my f*ck' mind.

First thing he said

I'll agree with.

Ah, so California, you say?

I think I'd remember

riding to California.

It's about a two-week trip.

Okay, look,

I wanna show you something.

What is it?

I'll k*ll it.

It's a computer.

Like a lantern?

Like a book.

You know

what a book is, right?

Yeah, I know what a book is.

That ain't a book.

It's like a book

made out of technology.

You can do

all kinds of sh*t on it.

So, like...



You guys had electricity, right?

Not like that.

This is a book

I'm writing about Eli West.

He's an outlaw.

It's fiction.

-Eli West is fiction.

-Pardon me?

-Fiction. Not real.

-I know what fiction is.

That's not the part

I'm concerned about.

[groans] You--

you're saying...

I'm a character...

in this magic book?

I'm saying Eli West...

is the hero

in my book, yeah.


Now I know you're full of sh*t.

-[Michael] He's an antihero.

-Nothing against heroes.

I just wouldn't consider

myself one.

No, idiot.

He's a reluctant hero.


Why don't you just write

about someone who wants the job?

I thought it would be

more interesting.

Whatever keeps you interested.

[Eli chuckles]

You okay, partner?

-I'm gonna throw up.

-Okay. Just--

You do reek of booze!

And my piss.

[Michael retching]

[outdoor ambiance]

[phone clatters]

Mornin', partner.

All right, who are you?

Get the f*ck

out of my house.

Sundown In Amarillo.

You like it?

I see you got that son of

a b*tch Morgan Ambrose in here.

He's the antagonist.

Bad guy? A sheriff?

So right here it says

I was on my way

to put a b*llet

in between his eyes?

Yeah, that's pretty much

where I'm going with it.

Can you write

a little faster?

I'm writing

as fast as I can, trust me.

So how do you know

all this?

My parents.

The horse

at the neighbor's ranch.

How do you know

I didn't sh**t that colt?

I never told anyone that.

Tell Benny or Jordan

or whoever sent you

that it's not helping.

Friend, you look like sh*t.

Gee, I wonder why.

You might wanna

look inwards.

Whatever this is,

it's not gonna work.

-Okay? Go away.


My home's a hundred years

and a thousand miles away.

-Come on, I got a deadline!


Not like

you're all that abled

in the ways

of conversation anyway.

-[knocking at door]

-[g*n cocks]

-[Michael] sh*t, you-- No, stop!

-Who is it?

What do you--

Get your damn hands off of me!

Get in my--

get in my room.

-Okay, I'm going!

-I'll come get you.


You know we can see you

in there, right?

[door opens]

[Michael] Hey, guys.

What are you doing here?

Hey, what's up, man?

We thought we'd just,

uh, you know, check up on you.


You didn't want to call first?

-We did.

-Several times.

Hey, who's that guy?

The actor you guys hired?


-What, are we filming a movie?

-Yeah, that guy...

We brought you,

uh, sesame seed bagels

and, uh, coffee,

you know, your favorite.

You didn't have to do that.

Hey, man, it's no biggie at all.

Benny paid for it.

-I used your Visa.


You said use it

for an emergency.

[Dylan sighs]

It-- it won't happen again.

[quirky western music playing]

[Eli whistling]


[phone alarm blaring]

[phone] Warning.

Warning. Warning. Warning.

[phone vibrating, clattering]

[blaring continues]

Warning. Warning.

Warning. Warning.

[Eli breathing heavily]

All right, thank you guys

so much for the bagels.

I gotta get back to work.

We just wanted to check up

on you 'cause it looked like

you were taking it

pretty hard last night.

It's fine.

It's just this f*ck' deadline.

I figured

it was because of Naomi.


-Dude, what is wrong with you?

It's like

you're not even in the room.

What? They broke up.

We just said we weren't

gonna talk about it, remember?

Positive vibes?


-[Benny] Sorry.

[exhales sharply]

Well, if you need anything,

give us a call.

I will, thank you.

And, uh,

thanks for the bagels.

Yeah, no problem.

Feel better.


All right, they're gone.

Why is my phone

on the floor?

Is that

what you call it?

Are you scared

of my phone?

No, but it went all wild

and stung me like a bee.

It's not gonna hurt you. Relax.

I gotta call Naomi.


-My girlfriend. We had a fight.

-I gotta call her.


Well, let me

help you with that.

[shouting] Naomi!

Hey, what the f*ck

are you doing?

Calling a woman.

-[shouting] Naomi!

-Call her on the phone!

f*ck. She's not picking up.

She's probably at work.

Well, let's go to work.

We? No, look,

I got a deadline,

and I gotta focus

on writing this draft.


You stay here...

and I'm gonna go

and just find her and apologize.

[Eli laughing]

Apologize? To a woman?

Do you want her back?

Sorry if I'm hesitant

to take relationship advice

from a guy who doesn't even

know what a toilet is.

I know what a toilet is,

you French bastard.

I'm not the one

that keeps it inside.

Where he eats.

Okay, look, I'm gonna go.

You stay here.

Not a chance.

Until I can figure out

what's going on with you,

if you're an actor, insane,

or you really are Eli West--

I am Eli West.

Right. I'm sure.

Till I can figure it out,

you're staying here

so I can keep you safe.

Take me.

Dear Jesus!

-[car horn honking]

-[tires screeching]

A little early for Halloween,

isn't it, douchebag?


What the hell are you doing?

Beast nearly k*lled me!

[Michael] Get out

of the middle of the road!

-What is it?

-It's a car.

-[car horn honking]

-[Eli] A what?

It's like a--

a horseless carriage!

-Where are the horses?

-There aren't any horses!

[Eli] g*dd*mn!

[Michael] Get out

of the middle of the road!

Sir, I'm really sorry

about that.

I-- He's just

not all there.

Let me ask you something.

You know where Costco is?

Get out of here.

-Assholes, man. Jesus.

-Better get goin'.

Get the f*ck back

on the road.

Well, just fine.

-Are you crazy?

-Thing's the devil's spawn.

It's-- All right. Come on.

Well, looky

what we have here.


[Michael] A Porta-Potty?

I know an outhouse

when I see one.

[restaurant din]

Well, this is nice.

Stay here, please,

and don't move.

[Naomi] What do you want?

You weren't answering

your phone.

I'm working.

Oh, not everyone can decide

when they start and finish.

Naomi, you're the manager.

Not the point.

Can you just give me

a minute to explain?

There's nothing to explain.

I know I f*cked up.

I wanna do better.

You can't just

keep apologizing.

Just give me

another chance.

[clears throat]

Hi, what can I get for you?

Whiskey, straight up.

[snickers] We don't serve

whiskey here, sir.

[Eli] Fine, gin.

We don't have gin, either.

Just give me

the strongest thing you got.

We could do an espresso sh*t.

How's that?

Make it a double.

That sounds fast.


That'll be $4.75.

[Eli mutters]

-Better be some good sh*t.

-[coin clatters on counter]


Sorry, we don't take, um...

Wait, is this gold?

It's a poke.

Is that a problem?

Not a problem at all.

Gold is fine. Thank you.

Who is that?

He's just a friend of a friend.

He's just a guy I found outside.


Look, will you think about it?

I need

to get back to work.

Will you call me after?

I don't know. We'll see.

Hey, that back there.

Does that lead to your whores?

-Ex-- excuse me, sir?

-Your whores.

Hey, there's a lot of people

in the line behind you, sir, so.

I was just curious.

Didn't mean anything by it.

Espresso sh*t

for "The Eli West"?

Thank you, ma'am.

Ah! That's some strong sh*t!


[Michael] Let's go.

[Eli] Can, uh,

we hold on to this?

-[Michael] No.


[Eli] Hey, barkeep!

That was some good sh*t!

Ma'am. Dog.

Jesus Christ.

I'm gonna break the other.

Come on!

[slow western music playing]

[Ambrose] So you're telling me

these phones

are like some kind of

miniature telegraph?

Do you really not know

what a phone is?

[Ambrose] Some sort of...

dark magic.

Wow, he's really

into character, huh?


-[g*n cocks]

[Jordan] What the f*ck

is going on?

[Eli] You son of a b*tch,

I'll k*ll you.

Eli f*cking West.

Well, they just let

anybody in here.

Yeah, I can see that.

How the f*ck

did you get into my house?

Ambrose let us in.

He said

he was one of your friends.

Oh, you must be Michael.

Well, in my defense,

I was lyin' when I said that.

Yeah, what else is new,

you rotten bastard?

Says a man who's set to hang.

The two of us,

only one of us is a m*rder.

I ain't never k*lled nobody

who didn't have it comin'.

Tell that to my parents!

It should be you

swingin' from that rope!

Wow, they're really

into the character.

Guys, get out of here now.

Do you need us

to call anybody or get any help?

No! Get out of here, okay?

Trust me, I'll explain later.

Let 'em go.

They're not part of this.

I got no quarrel

with these gentlemen.

[Eli] Nor do I.


I'm just gonna get out of here.

[Benny] You guys

are so into character.

Oh, my God.

Okay, let me get this straight.

You're Morgan Ambrose?

Sheriff Morgan Ambrose.

You don't deserve that title.

That's rich,

comin' from an outlaw.

Can you guys

not spit on my floor?

Can't promise that.

Not while he's around.

Okay, well, can you at least

put your g*n down?

Him first.

Yeah, right.

All right,

I'm just gonna pretend

like this is all real,

and if I'm wrong,

I'll have learned

a very valuable life lesson.

But I can't have you guys

k*lling each other in my house,

at least not yet.

So if you're gonna have

to sh**t someone...

sh**t me.

Is that supposed to be like some

kind of ultimatum or something?

I mean,

who the hell are you anyway?

I'm the author.

Oh, the author,

the author of what?

The author of us.

And I'm the protagonist.

Well, what's a protagonist?

The hero.


What the hell's that make me?

The antagonist.

The villain.

The villain? I'm a sheriff.

Sheriffs ain't villains.

In what world

is that half-wit a hero?

He's an antihero.

Damn right he's antihero.

He's been chasing me around

for years.

You just found out

you're a fictional character

and this is all you care about?

Why is he the "protauminist"?


You k*lled my parents!

That's a very dramatic

retelling of events.

Maybe you should be the author.

I'll be the hero, and you can be

the goldarn villain

and see how it feels!

Okay, you know what?

Whatever you think of my story,

it's still my story, okay?

And I don't know what's gonna

happen to you if I die.

So if you guys wanna

keep existing in any form...

put the g*n down

and let's talk this out.

Stop it!

[western riff playing]

Sundown In Amarillo.

That's your title?

You like it?

Not a whole bunch.

We'll think of something.

Okay, look,

I don't have a lot of time.

I gotta get back to work,

so who wants to start?

[Eli sighs]


What's your f*ck' problem?

-I can answer that.

-Shut up. Let Ambrose talk.

You'll get a turn.

Yeah, for once,

keep your f*ck' mouth shut.

Hey, Ambrose, stop.


I'm a fictional character?

God, you're quick.

-How did we get here?

-We're still working on it.

-How do I get back?

-It's all so unclear.


What matters

is that you're here...

and I gotta find a way

to keep you both safe

until I can get you back

in the book.

Right, so you can figure out

a way for me to k*ll him then.


You said I could k*ll him.

You said that?

I'm not married to an ending.

All right?

It's just a working direction.

Why the hell

are you gonna k*ll me?

-I'm not!

-You said--

I'm trying to figure it out.

Oh, well.

You just

take all the time you need.

What kind of bullshit propaganda

is you writin' anyway?

And how the hell

am I the bad guy?


You m*rder my parents.

It wasn't m*rder,

it was justice.

I'm a sheriff.

I was carrying out the law.

I don't care what badge

you hide behind,

it don't give you no right

to m*rder two innocent people.

[chuckles] In-- innocent.

Your parents.

I did the good folk

of Amarillo a service

the day I put them

two good-for-nothing monsters

in the ground.

I'll choke the life out of you.

I'll choke you back!

Come on, man!

Eli, stop!

Stop, you're gonna hurt him!

That's the point!

Not till

you're back in the book!

My parents were heroes,

you rat-ass little worm!

Just like you, I suppose!

[Michael] I left it

intentionally gray.

It depends on

how you look at it.

I looked at it through the law,

and they done broke it.

All you care about is your own.

That's right.

-f*ck this.

-[g*n cocks]

All right, enough. I'm wasting

enough time as it is.

Let him go, shut up,

or I'll go to my laptop

and write you both a couple

of nasty f*ck' hemorrhoids.

What's a laptop?

What's a hemorrhoid?

It's the magic book that

I use to write your story with.

I want a hemorrhoid.

Okay, fine.

Stop fighting,

and I'll give you a hemorrhoid.

Me too.

Okay, hemorrhoids for everyone.

Just stop fighting.

I don't know what it is

you're trying to accomplish,

but this moronic half-wit

ain't gonna let it go.

Damn right I'm not.

You know, your ma...

she came at me

with a rusty cleaver.

And your pa came at me

with a Winchester Repeater.

That's actually true.

What was I supposed to do?

I had to defend myself.

Ambrose is making a fair point.

No, he's not!

What is this?

I'm not gonna forgive you

for m*rder my folks!

Well, can you at least see

where he's coming from?

It wasn't out of malice.

It was self-defense.


[Michael] He didn't have

a choice.

-Thank you.

-[Eli] That's not the point!

My parents are dead

because of him.

I spent my life...

trying to find them justice.

I'm not just gonna forgive you.

Just because

you said you're sorry.

I don't recall

saying I was sorry.

After all I've been through,

I don't care

self-defense or not.

Book closed, nail in the coffin.


You can't put

every little thing on me...

just 'cause you're so focused

on some old story...

instead of living your life.

You don't think

I've had my fair share?

My parents...

my-- my parents...

got k*lled by a bear.

A f*ck' bear.

[melancholic western

music playing]

At least

you got someone to blame.

I can't exactly

swear revenge on no bear.

I don't even know which bear.

I mean, they all look alike.

It might not even be

alive anymore.

It's probably not.

Although I don't even

really know how long bears live.

I mean, hell,

am I gonna get justice?


-I didn't know that.

-Yeah, well...

well, now you do.

My parents got ate by a bear...

and I got over it.

So the point is,

you can't blame me

for every little thing

that goes wrong in your life

any more than I can blame

some old bear.

He's right, Eli.

Yeah, I mean,

he's the one writin' your story.


[Eli] That's right.

He did.

He's the one

who made me k*ll your parents.

Guys, this isn't about me,

it's about you.

I bet you wrote that bear.

You k*lled my parents...

with a bear?

I thought it would be

an interesting parallel.

Interesting parallel?

Are you f*ck' kidding me?

I spent years alone

after they d*ed.

The sh*t I had to eat,

what I had to do for money,

I can't even talk about!

I lied.

I did blame that bear.

I must've k*lled

20- or 30-odd bear

on the off chance

that one of 'em was the bear.


-I know!

Because of this guy!

It's been him.

Writing our story,

k*lling our parents,

making us suffer.

-For what?

-For what?

Character development.

Oh! You took everything from me!

[Michael grunting]

[Eli] Get him!

Your little book caused us both

a world of trouble.

Well, guess who

finds himself smack-dab

in the middle of the story?

You wanted an antagonist?

[Michael grunts]

Here's your

goddamned antagonist!

You think

you can just f*ck with our lives

like you're

the Lord God Almighty?

That's what I told him.

He thinks

he's the Lord Almighty.

Well, if you are God...

I ain't impressed.

Now, get up.

I was just up.


get up again!

I'm just gonna end up

back on the floor!

[g*n cocks]


You just might.


I'm up.

We're gonna settle this

the old-fashioned way...



I got a deadline.

I'm not gonna sh**t you.

Oh, you're gonna miss that.

[Michael] Guys...


[g*n clatters]


-Just wait!

-[Ambrose] Eight.

You can't k*ll me. You

don't know what's gonna happen.

If you wanted that to work,

you would've written us

lives worth livin'.


Okay, I will.

-You'll what?

-I'll rewrite you.

Lives worth living.

I'll give you anything you want.

I'm listenin'.

I'll write you land.

I'll write you money.

I'll write you women, big dicks,

and a billion dollars.

-A million dollars!



And, and--

Well, my d*ck's just fine,

thank you very much.

I suspect he could use

an inch or two.

I wouldn't rightly know.

Are you seriously

considering this?


He k*lled our parents!

And I'd say that's roughly

worth around a million dollars.

Listen to yourself.

He deserves to die!

No, he deserves to pay.

Look, my parents d*ed

a long time ago.

I-- I'm over it.

I got my own life to live now.

And if he wants to write me

$1 million...

I think my parents

would understand.

Hell, maybe he could even

write your parents back to life!

Well, that's a big part

of his motivation.

I'm trying to help you out here!

Okay, fine, I get--

Yeah, I can do that.

It's not the same.

It wouldn't be real.

It was never real.

It's real to me!

Come on, man.

You've gotta let it go.

We can't k*ll him, he's right.

We can't get revenge!

Or we'd just be

k*lling ourselves.

But we can get rich.

Come on, Eli.

Do yourself a favor...

and let's get rich.

And I don't wanna be

sheriff no more.

It's too much work.

I wanna be president.

Yeah, me too.

Uh, well, no,

we can't both be president.


you can be my vice president.

Nah. I wanna be king.

Of America?

You said

I can have whatever I want.


Here's your protagonist.

Well, go on.

We'd best get to work on

that big old hemorrhoid!


[Mom] No, the keys

are already in my hands.

I'm leaving right now.

Don't worry.

We'll be on time

for the open house.

Aw, f*ck.

No, I'm okay.

My assh*le brother

just showed up.

All right,

I'll see you soon, bye.

Hey, Jean,

what's going on over there?

Hi, Jackie, um, I'm good.

Great, just great.

I just stopped off

to drop a card off for Matthew.

You mean Michael?

Yeah, Michael,

I got it, I knew that.

I know my nephew's f*cking name.

Uh, he had a birthday

a couple of days ago, did he?

Two months ago.

Yeah, I was out of town,

and I can't keep up on

every little f*cking thing there

is to keep up on, you know.

Well, I-- I certainly appreciate

that you drove all the way

out here to drop it off.

Hey, I read, uh, Matthew's book.


what did you think about it?

Oh, I thought that mother

character was something else.

Well, you know,

she was based on me.

Is he around?

You know, he hasn't lived here

for quite a few years.

He's 27.

Jeez, 27

and he's got his own place?

Good for him.

Yeah, yeah. He's actually

working on his second book.

Yeah, it's-- it's about cowboys.

What is it,

a f*cking picture book?

No, it's more of

a Lonesome Dove kind of thing.

I-- I think.

Jeez, he's so successful.

He's got his own place.

He's just doing so well, jeez.

Do you think you could lend me

a couple of hundred bucks?

[Jean sighs]


I want a woman, one that

I don't have to pay for.

Oh, what's your problem, man?

You got a million dollars.

Whores gotta eat.

Yeah, but I want something more.

You can hire

as many as you like.

Yeah, you won't understand.

I want what you have.

I want what he's got.

You mean Naomi?

Yeah, but before you ruined it.

Wha-- wait, you got a woman?

What, did you have

to write her up too?

No, but he damn near ruined

her life like he did ours.

Oh, that checks out.

Okay, can we focus

on your story, not mine?

[Eli] She got

the short end of the stick.

No time for Miss Naomi.

She came to her senses

and ran for the hills.

[Ambrose] Makes sense.

Women tend

to have certain needs.

If I had a woman

like Miss Naomi...

there'd be no book on this earth

that would get between us.

Look, that's not fair, okay?

I have a job.

Don't she?

Yeah, but it's different.

Oh, yeah, hers is much harder.

She works at a fine saloon.


-Not like that.


Look, I can't meet my deadline

if I spend all my time

with Naomi, okay?

You're not gonna meet it anyway.

Only now you got no book

and you got no girl.

What Naomi and I have

is none of your business.


Now it's none of yours neither.

[Ambrose and Eli laughing]


Ooh, I actually might know

a woman who you might like.

I mean, she ain't cheap,

but trust me, she's worth it.

Oh, yeah? What is she like?

A bit rough.

[exhales sharply]

I'm liking that.

Can you write that down?

What was that last part?

-"A bit rough."

-"A bit rough."

No, before that.

You said you wanted land?


somewhere nice.

Thousand acres.

I'm gonna build myself a town.

Actually, scratch that.

Sounds like

an awful lot of work.

Just write it, "build",

I'll think of a name.



I want some land too.

I like it out here,

I'm a fan of the climate.

Exactly my thinking.

Well, we both can't be out here.

Says who?

Says me.

-[g*n cocking]


Guys, guys put the g*n down.

This town is big enough

for the two of you, okay?

Okay, Eli, Santa Monica,

Brentwood and Beverly Hills...

and Ambrose can have the valley.

He gets the whole valley?

That's nice.

[Michael] Yeah, it's great,

people love it.

I want a valley.

Trust me, you'll be fine.

Actually, you know, I've been

meaning to ask you a question.

You got these magic kitchens,

got them horseless carriages,

these fancy old hemorrhoids.

You poop in water.

Why are you so interested

in writing about our time?

I mean, why not write about now?

So much more interesting.

Other than the inside outhouse.



It's a whole genre.

It's called a Western.

Used to be really popular...

till it kind of

went out of fashion.

But there was

all these books and-- and--

and-- and shows and movies.

It was huge.

What's a movie?

[banjo riff playing]

[piano on TV playing]

I knew a man at Stanley's

that played the piano like that.

His name was Sancho.

Oh, yeah.

He had a brother,

one-legged sort, named Raul.

He had a wonky eye.

Never knew exactly

which one to look into.

I sh*t him off a horse

and sent him down a canyon.

Well, good riddance, Raul.

Hey, are you guys

gonna talk the entire movie?


Eli here

was busy confessing to a crime.


It feels weird to do nothing.

I could have stopped that.

[action music playing on TV]

[western music playing on TV]


Okay, now that there...

that is an antagonist.

You know...

when I was a boy,

I used to want to be an outlaw.

Gets lonely.

You had to write him

both lonely and stupid?

I mean, hell, you couldn't write

him a partner?

[man on TV] sh**t him!

sh**t him now!

[g*n on TV]

-Guys, what are you doing?

-You got him?

-Put the g*n down!

-I don't see him.

Up there in the hills.

Hills? There are no hills!

He's gotta be a sharp sh**t.

Take a sh*t, Eli.

[knocking on door]

Who the hell's that?

Get in my room, please.

No, why do we have to go

in your room?

Because if you don't,

I'll write you a one-inch d*ck,

and I'll stick you

in Rancho Cucamonga.

All right, we're moving.

Rancho Cucamongo sounds nice.

Means I get the valley.


What happened to your nose?

Dry weather.

You know, I get-- I get

bloody noses. You know that.

No, I don't.

I thought

you were gonna call me.

I said I might call you.

So instead,

you just decided to come over?

Yeah, I wanted to know

what was going on with you.

What about

what's going on with me?

That weird

cowboy guy at the caf?

He said his name was Eli West.

-He did?

-Who was he?


you're not gonna understand.

-It's hard to explain.

-Try me.

I don't know how to explain it.

He's a character from the book.

I am done.

I'm not lying.

-Then answer me.

-I'm telling the truth.


two characters from the book

came out into the real world.

I don't get it

any more than you do.

Wait, look. Guys! Guys!

[tense guitar riff playing]

[birds singing]

Hold on, okay?

[tense western

instrumental playing]



I swear they were right here.

Yeah, I hope you really

have lost your mind

because if you're going through

all of this

to prove some stupid lie--

I'm not lying, I swear, I just--

[toilet flushing]

So they keep it

inside the house?

Twenty feet from his bed.

-And you poop in the water?


[Michael] Guys.

Meet Naomi.

Miss Naomi.

You work at a fine saloon.

You mean caf?

You should really

consider serving whiskey.

Well, wait...

you got a saloon

that don't serve whiskey?

No, but they have

this espresso sh*t

that'll knock your socks off.

Well, what's in it?


No, just coffee.

Coffee? Saloon serves coffee,

but you don't got whiskey.

Well, it's not a saloon.

It's a coffee shop.

Well, why would you need

a whole shop just for coffee?

What you need is whiskey.


Michael, who are these people?

Sheriff Morgan Ambrose, ma'am.



I thought we were past that.

So-- Sorry.

Ya heathen.

We'll give you

a moment to process.

Just watch your step.


[Michael sighs]

Okay. Michael,

who are they, like, really?

I told you. They're characters

from the book.

You mean,

like actors hired to role-play

to help you become,

like, unstuck or whatever?

I wish.

No, they're literally

characters from the book

somehow existing in the flesh,

and I'm stuck with them.

Well, that's insane.

That's pretty much

where we're at there too, ma'am.

Well, actually,

now we're doing rewrites.

I'm getting the valley.

-The valley?

-[Ambrose] The whole damn thing.

Good for you.

[Ambrose] Gracias.

[Eli] And I'm getting Brentwood.

I thought you were gonna

give us a moment.

[Ambrose clears throat]


Why don't we have a seat?

[dramatic western guitar riff




he's the protagonist?


And he's the villain.

She said

it ain't black and white.

Why couldn't I have just

written another boring book

about my boring life?

Well, because you went through

that in your first book,

and you haven't lived

at all since then.

Ee, that's a hell of a mouthful.

She has a point.

-Shut up, Eli.

-Yeah, shut up, Eli.

-[phone alarm blaring]

-What the hell is that?

It's dark magic. You're just

gonna have to roll with it.

It's my mom. I'll call her back.

Your mom?

Why aren't you gonna

talk to your mom?

I'm a little busy.


You know what I'd give

to talk to my ma and my pa?


Except I can't,

'cause someone

k*lled 'em with a bear.

And someone k*lled mine

with an Ambrose.

Right, exactly.

It was totally out of my hands.

Wait, what?

He k*lled our parents.

They blame me because I k*lled

their parents in the book.

I guess that does make sense.



Don't side with them.

Well, it is true.

[phone alarm blaring]

Hey, Mom.

Yeah-- now?


Okay, it's fine.

Uh, just give me, like,

a minute to get dressed.

You're fully dressed.

[whispering] Shut up.

[in normal voice] I'm sorry.

No, no, no, that wasn't to you.

Okay, I love you, I love you.

-[Naomi] Wait, she's here?

-She's here.


you guys gotta get in my room.

[Ambrose and Eli] Why--

why can't you just

tell her the truth?

Because my mom

is not gonna handle this well.

Why not? Miss Naomi's handling

it just fine.

Uh, who said

I'm doing just fine?

Look, my mom is different.

I didn't have a choice

with Naomi.

Okay? My mom's gonna overreact.

Just get in my room

and stay there

till I come get you.


-[sighs] Okay.

But listen,

when we do them rewrites,

you're adding another inch.


-An inch of what?

It's a long story.

Well, Eli's better equipped

to tell you the short version.

[sly guitar riff playing]

Hey, where are you going?

You're not from the Old West.

You can stay.

Oh, sh*t. Okay, sorry.

That's fine.

Just help me stall her.

Okay, fine.


does she know we broke up?

-We broke up?


What did you think happened?

We had a fight.

No, Michael, that was a breakup.

We didn't say

the words "break up."

We didn't have to.

It was implied.

Not to me.

-Don't play dumb.

-I'm not playing dumb.

-You know what I mean.

-[knocking on door]

Just wanted to make sure

you were dressed.

Naomi, sweetie, how are you?

I can't complain.

Hey, uh, Mom,

just a quick question.

What's that in your bag?

Oh, uh, well, I was driving home

from showing a house, right?

And I know you're busy with your

book, and I'm very sorry,

but I, uh, I remembered the

other day when I was over here,

and I was using your dustbuster,

and the suction

wasn't working so well.

So I thought I would just

drop off my own personal one.

Great, I'll add it

to my collection.

All right, awesome.

-Thanks, Mom.

-Uh, you're welcome.

You know,

you should just let me get

that little cat hair over


I don't understand that.

You don't even own a cat.

It's fine, Mom. I can do it

later. I can do it myself.

I mean,

you have company, Michael.

It's Naomi. It's not the Pope.


That's not very nice.

Naomi knows what I meant.

You don't have

to take that from him.

I don't, believe me.

That's my girl.

Okay, thank you, Mom.

Hey, you should open up some

windows in here, air it out--

-and why is this door closed?

-Mom! It's fine.

You should keep this door open

so mildew won't build up.

[Michael] It's--

I want it-- I want it closed.

And you'll never get rid

of that smell.


Uh, you have friends over?

Michael's mother.

It is such a pleasure to make

your acquaintance, ma'am.

My name

is Sheriff Morgan Ambrose.

We live over yonder.

I just stopped by

to talk to Michael

about some ideas I had

regarding his book.

Oh, you read his book?

-Isn't it magnificent?


He is just so talented.

Does seem a little late,

though, to give him notes.

Oh, no, ma'am.

I'm referring

to his new novel

about the heroic sheriff

and the half-wit outlaw

who blames the sheriff

for his shitty life--

Sundown in Amarillo?

Or whatever we decide

to call it end of day, yes.

What's wrong

with Sundown in Amarillo?

Well, it's a bit

of a show pony with the runs.

It's a fine title

for a first draft.

-[Eli clears throat]


Mom, this is Eli.



It's a pleasure

to meet you.

Didn't expect you

to be so lovely

and full of life,

given Michael likes to k*ll

people's parents

in his fables.

Well, not his first book,

you know,

'cause that would be me.


Well, it was an amalgam

of a lot of people.

Me and all

your other mothers named Jean.

It was fiction.

I thought

it was about your life.

Shut up, Eli.

Yeah, shut up, Eli.

Well, um,

I'm gonna take off,

I want to go home and change

out of my work clothes

and, uh, anyway,

you guys can get back to...


is going on around here.

All right?

-Okay. Yeah. Thank you, Mom.

-All right. All right.

Oh, uh, your Uncle Jackie,

uh, sent you a birthday card,

uh, to my address

by mistake two months late,

but no one's perfect.

Thank you, Mom. I'll read it

right when I get a chance.

Okay. All right.

-All right, bye sweetie.

-[Naomi] Bye, Jean.

[Jean] You know,

I-- I don't mind getting

-that cat hair over there.

-[Michael] I mind.

[Jean] I know,

but you'd have company.

[Michael] No, I know-- I do--

I have-- I have company, so.

-All right, baby. I love you.

-All right.

-Just take a break, that's all.

-Drive safe.

Love you. Bye!

[tense music plays]

Such a sweet lady.

Yeah, too sweet.

What a lovely problem to have.

A parent.


Let's get back to the novel.

I can't stop thinking

about all the new things I want.

Eli was telling me

about one of these

invisible horseless

carriage jobbies

that damn near

ran you down in the street.

Am I right?

Eli said it was mighty quick!


-The horseless carriage thingy.

Yeah, quick.

Almost ran me over.

You scribble me up

one of them?

Fine, whatever.

My mom's right

about one thing,

I need to go

take a nap or something.

I'm tired.

You guys stay here.

Don't touch anything,

and don't go anywhere,

all right?

[Ambrose] Well, wait,

we were just starting

to get sh*t done.

We got a deadline, remember?

Michael's right.

I think he should rest

so he can focus.

We need his mind right

if he's gonna rewrite

our entire lives.

Fine. You got 30 minutes.

Whatever, I'm lying down.

Where were you born?

Michael! I'll join you.

What's up?


I just didn't want to be

out there alone with them.

You think I did?

Yeah, they're so weird.

They're weird?

They're first drafts

from a half written novel.

Did you expect them

to act normal?

I don't like them.


-[Naomi chuckles]




[Ambrose exhales]


The hell's gotten into you?

Can't believe I'm saying this,

but you seem awfully quiet.

It ain't right.

What ain't?

Seeing her here.

The way he treats her.

It ain't right.

We're getting

everything we want.

Money. Land. Women.

You getting fixed

what God saw fit to short you.

He's doing everything he can

to make it right.

We can't k*ll him,

you remember?

We don't need to k*ll him.

Well, what the hell

do you want?

I want revenge.

[tense western

instrumental plays]


That ain't good.

[Naomi whispering]

Michael. Michael!

Huh? What?

We have a problem.

I overheard them

in the hallway talking,

and I think

they were talking about revenge.


Well-- they can't--

They already know

that they can't k*ll me.

Well, not you.

Then who?

[both] The card.

[Ambrose] Hey, you describe

me here as "weathered."

Does that mean

like seasoned and handsome,

or does it just mean old?

Where is he?



Where the f*ck did he go?

Well, for the record,

I want you to know

that I had

nothing to do with it.

g*dd*mn it.

He's gone, isn't he?

Mr. Protagonist took

your birthday letter.

Said he's gonna

k*ll your ma.

And somehow I'm the villain.

And you're just in here

reading, sheriff?

Why didn't you tell us?

I am telling you.

And considering you k*lled

my ma with a grizzly bear,

I figured staying out of it

was the most appropriate thing

I could do.

g*dd*mn it, Ambrose.

If you go after Eli,

you're gonna die.

-Well, then I die.

-Well, then I die.

And moreover,

I'm out a million dollars!

g*dd*mn it, you're right.

We best get a move on

if we're gonna catch up to Eli.

We? No.

You're staying right here

where I know you're safe.

It's bad enough

Eli's out there by himself.

I may be fictional,

but I'm still a sheriff.

And if you two

are going after Eli West,

you're gonna need

someone who can sh**t.

You're not gonna sh**t Eli.

Are you crazy?

Fine. I won't sh**t Eli.

But listen,

when we do them rewrites,

I wants to be the king.

You said

you didn't want a king?

Well, that was

when it were Eli.

I wouldn't feel

quite so strongly about it

if it were me.

Her phone's going straight

to voicemail. We need to go.

Okay, fine. Don't sh**t Eli,

and you can be king.

Let me get my hat.

[hip-hop music playing]

[Eli] Down, girl! Ho!

[Eli grunts]

Take me to here.

Hey, you know, the next time

you're picking a protagonist,

you just remember

that it was me riding with you

and not Mr. Antihero.

I didn't want your help.

I told you to stay at home.

Well, I'm just saying

it's some pretty basic

storytelling is all.

I ain't the one

trying to k*ll your ma.

All right, can we stay focused

on reality for one second,

instead of fiction?


Your mom's gonna be okay.

[Ambrose chuckles]

I don't think it's his mommy

that Michael's

all concerned about.

He's worried about

Mr. Antihero getting banged up

by local law or such.

Worried about his book.

That's not true.

Oh, ain't it?

[Eli] Wait here.

Don't go nowhere.

[tires screeching]

Hell with him.

Oh, hi.

-Eli, right?

-Yes, ma'am.

Is Michael with you?


he's just right behind me.

Thought I'd get a jump start

and come on over.

Okay. Well-- well, come on in.

Oh, wipe

your feet first, please.

-Yeah, sorry.

-Oh, yes. Sorry about that.

That's, uh.

[boot thumping]



The tea is a little strong.

I like to add

almond milk in it,

you know, to jazz it up.

Is that okay?

Yeah, that's fine.

Anybody see him?

-[Naomi] Maybe we b*at him here.

-[Ambrose] Oh, I doubt that.

My mom's probably

making him tea.

[Ambrose] Such a sweet lady.

[Naomi] All right, come on.

We better hurry.


A bag of poop says

your mom's a goner by now.


-[Ambrose] Oh, what I hear?

Oh, the sound

of your mom's throat

getting slit.

-[Michael] Mom!


[g*n cocks]

I'm gonna need you

to stay put.

Don't you have a key?

Oh, yeah. Good thinking.

Yeah. I'm a genius.

-[lock turning]

-It was unlocked.

[Naomi] Oh, gosh, Michael.

[Jean] No!

No! Let me go.



Don't come any closer,

or I'll k*ll her!



-[Jean screams]

-[Michael] What are you doing?

Do you want him to k*ll her?

[tense music plays]

Shh, shh, shh.


-[Jean screams]

[Eli shouts]

[Eli] g*dd*mn it,

get back here.

[Naomi] Michael.

[Eli] Come here.

No, no, no.

[Jean struggling]

Stop it. Stop.

[Ambrose shushing]

[Jean] No, Michael!

Michael, go call someone

who can help us.

You're gonna

get us all k*lled, Michael!


[Michael] Let her go.

Come on.

Eli, let her go.

Come on, man, she's got

nothing to do with this.

She has

everything to do with it.

This is about you and me.

-And me.

-Shut up, Ambrose.

Let's just settle this,

you and me right now.

Let's be done with it, okay?

I don't care

if I have to start over

and spend

another year or two,

or I never get to write

another f*cking book again.

I just want to be done

with it, okay?

Let her go

and let's do this.

Okay, but you know

in these situations,

it's customary to draw.


[Naomi] Michael,

you can do this.

I believe in you.


That makes one of us.


Oh, my God, I love you.

[Jean screams]


Remember, if you k*ll him,

you owe me

one million dollars.

If we still exist.

[Ambrose] Oh.

[bold western

instrumental plays]

We're gonna

holster our w*apon.

On three.



-[Jean] Oh, my God!

-[Naomi] Michael!

-[Jean] Michael! Oh!

-[Naomi] Oh, no!

-[Jean] Oh, no! Oh, no!

Oh, baby. Oh.


How the hell are you the hero?


[Ambrose] Well,

that was just straight up anti.

There ain't nothing hero

about it.

[Jean] I believed in you.

I believed in you,

I'm so sorry, baby.

-[Eli] Get up.

-[Jean panting]

Get up.

Get up.

Oh, no. Please.


You took everything from me.

No amount of money

or land's gonna change that.

As far as I'm concerned,

I'm letting you off easy.

[g*n cocks]

You're supposed to be

the good guy.

I'm supposed to have a family.

I'm supposed to be

a human being,

not some f*cking character

in a book.

Now I don't know what I am.

[Jean sobbing] No!

But I know what I'm not.

I'm not you.

I don't know

if that's the way you wrote me,

but I'm not you.

If you get to write my story,

I get to choose my ending.

Oh, my God.

-[g*n cocks]

-If anybody's gonna k*ll you...

it's gonna be me.

[exhales] Well, go on then.

Another day, I suppose.

After all...

what's a villain

without his hero?

[Eli sighs]

[Jean] I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

-[Jean] Oh, my God.

-[Naomi] Oh, gross. That's--

-That's nasty.

-[Jean] Look at all this blood.

Oh, my God. [panting]

-No, no, no, don't fall asleep.

-Don't tap. Don't tap.

-[Jean] Okay, no tapping.

-[Naomi] Michael!

Oh, Michael. Oh, my God.

Look at all this blood.

[Jean] Okay,

I need to get paper towels.

-I'll get some paper towels.

-No, no, no, no.

-Call an ambulance. Quickly!

-[Jean] Oh, yeah. Yeah.


I'm sorry. I f*cked up.

I shouldn't have

gotten you involved in this.

Baby, I don't know

what the f*ck is going on here,

but if you're okay,

I'm okay, okay?

-I love you.

-I love you, baby.

Let me call the ambulance.

Right, quickly.


You gonna be all right?

Yeah, I'm fine, I just got

a b*llet in my shoulder.

Eli's got something

he wants to say to you.

Sorry I sh*t you.

[Ambrose] Eli.

And for jumping the draw.


It's like he said...

I got off easy.

[Ambrose chuckling] That's true.

I guess we're even?

Not even close.

-On three.

-Be careful.

-[Eli grunts]

-He said, "Be careful."


You jumped the draw again.

You got it?


you still owe us a rewrite.

[upbeat joyful music plays]

Not yet.

What's wrong with you?

Wow, that smells amazing.

Well, here, sweetie.

Have a taste test.

-Thank you, Jean.

-You're welcome.

Mm, it's delicious.


All right,

make yourself useful

and take this

out to our guests.

Come on, quick.

Before it gets cold.

You can do it.

There you go.

[Michael] Hey, guys.


Good to see you talking again.

He was all broken up.

[Jordan] Benny!

What? He looked like sh*t.

Remember? You were there.

Yeah, well,

me and Naomi have decided

to work things out.


[Dylan] When do you go

back to your place?

As soon as she lets me leave.

[Jean] It seems a bit early.

I just don't like the idea

of you being all alone.

And what's the rush?

I mean, he has nothing to do.

He just got dropped

by his publisher.

-[Jordan] Benny!

-[Naomi] Benny! Really?


Oh, uh,

tell them about our new idea.

Yeah, it's really cool.

So, uh, it's like

Bonnie and Clyde, right?

But in modern times,

with two men.


Ooh, what's it called?

Well, I haven't decided

on a title.

Oh, we're gonna call it

Clyde and Clyde.


But I can pretty much rule

that one out.

[Benny] Well, anything's better

than Sundown in Amarillo.

-[Benny chuckles]


Do us a favor.

Put some bread in your mouth.

Well, tell them

about our idea.

Well, it's a love story.

It's got

this great heist, though.

These two guys roll up

to this Russian poker game

in a red GTO,

armed to the f*cking gills,

and make off

with over two million dollars.

Well, tell them more.

That's pretty much

where I'm stuck.

[all chuckle]


-[Jean] Jesus Christ.

-That's my Michael.


Can you pass the fusilli?

-[Dylan] Yeah.

-[Jordan] Can I get--

Oh, right here.

All right. Anybody else?

I have breadsticks.

-[all] Yeah!

-You want some bread sticks?

All right. Not for you.

-Not for you.

-[Michael laughs]

[jazzy rock music playing]

[engine starts]

[tires screeching]

[Timmy on TV] Oh, Paul.

I've been missing you.

[horse neighing on TV]

[man on TV] I'm sorry, Timmy.

Looks like old Butterscotch

has had her day in the sun.

-[horse neighing]

-[Timmy on TV] Oh, Pappy.

Oh, Butterscotch.

[Timmy] I ain't ready

to say goodbye yet.

-[Eli sobbing]

-[horse neighing on TV]

[man on TV]

Well, old Butterscotch.

[Eli sobbing, sniffing]

Oh, that's why

I became an outlaw.

[Eli sobbing]

[Timmy on TV]

Can you sit me up on his back,

so I can whisper in...

f*ck you, dad!

[man on TV] All right, Timmy.


[Timmy on TV]

I love you, But--

-[g*n on TV]

-[horse neighing on TV]

[horse nickering on TV]

[jazzy rock music plays]
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