Lock & Load (2023)

Action/Adventure - Random Movies that just don't fit anywhere else yet. Miscellaneous Movie Collection.

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Action/Adventure - Random Movies that just don't fit anywhere else yet. Miscellaneous Movie Collection.
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Lock & Load (2023)

Post by bunniefuu »

[slow funky music]

And we do it in the A

College Park,

Cicero, right here

East Side, West Side

Throw it up

And we do it in the A

Keller Road, Kirkwood,

Zone 6, Zone 4

ATL, stand up

And we do it in the A

Oh yes,

South Side, North Side

Vin Hill, Summerhill,

Keep it real

And we do it in the A


Hop in car, going hard

Zone 1 to zone 3,

We're for real

-And we do it in the A

-I'm in the A

Atlanta Braves hat,

Turnt to the back

In the A, yeah,

We kick it like that

And we do it in the A

In a drop top or a flip-flop

Everybody in my city

Getting wrecked, yeah

-And we do it in the A

-Yeah, come on!

On the East Side,

I be too fly

I be riding with

My people in this Nova

-And we do it in the A


I got nowhere to go

Got some bread to--

[wind blowing]

[birds singing]

Do you think a pigeon

knows when it's fat?


Well, like, do you think

a pigeon ever looks

at another pigeon and goes,

"Whoo, you're overweight"?

I'm trying to read.

Cause there's always one,

isn't there?

There's always one in

every flock that's fat.

I wonder if they all stay

away from the fat pigeon.

Pigeon fat shaming.


It's a thing.

[Nick sighs]

Here's a question, right.


If you stand inside a

moving train and you jump,

the train moves with you,

but if you stand on top

of a moving train and jump,

the train moves underneath you.

Can you just shut up

for two minutes?

I'm trying to read.

[birds singing]

[under breath] f*ck me.

[door bangs]

[dramatic music]


[taps seat repeatedly]


Guy's about to

blow up your car.

You're like a f*cking

five-year-old, do you know that?

Need constant attention.

Get a grip.

Humor me.


-[rocket fires]


[music intensifies]

That guy blew up my car.

Told ya.

[soft music]

What'd you do

with the g*n?


You didn't think

to take them out?

What f*cking point did

I have time to do that?

Ah, it's like

a f*cking video game.

[upbeat dramatic music]

So what's the plan?

Sixteen sh*ts right here, mate.

That's more than enough.

It's all right for you.

I've only got six.

Huh. Well, you would

insist on going old school.

Yeah, well, it's

for sentimental value.

Oh yeah?

Let's see how sentimental

you get when they sh**t you

in the f*cking face

'cause you're out of b*ll*ts.


I'd best get creative, then.

Whatever, Picasso.

Here they come.

[g*n cocking]

[g*n f*ring]

[dramatic music]

[music continues]

[g*n f*ring]

[music continues]

[music fades]

[upbeat dramatic music]

[g*n f*ring rapidly]

Size ain't everything, man.


[flames crackling]


Would you look at that?

[hostage groans]

I see that hostage

safety course paid off.

-[muffled exclamation]

-I wasn't on that course.


Rocket launcher dude.

I've got an idea.

[whimpers fearfully]

[launcher clicking]

[soft dramatic music]

I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna

blow us all the hell up!

[hostage shrieking]

[g*n fires]

[dramatic music]

[hostage exhales with relief]

Shall we just take their car?

I ain't driving around

with a b*mb in the car.

We'll just disarm it.

Do you know how

to disarm a b*mb?

Can't be that hard.

Red wire, green wire,

et cetera.

[hostage whimpering]

[helicopter rotors whirring]

[soft mysterious music]

Mark Preston, isn't it?

It is. How are we?

Miles Steiger.

We're all good.

Short notice, Mark.

Must be important.

Isn't it always?


I like to think of it

as a matter of life and death.

[g*n clicks]

But mainly death.

We have here 250 AK-47s.

500 corresponding magazines,

30 round capacity

and 100 boxes of a*mo.

250 Uzis, nine mil,

32-round capacity.

Same quantity of a*mo

as the AKs.

All 3D printed,

no serial numbers,

and each one test fired

to ensure quality.

Changing the face of warfare?

Ah, I wouldn't go as far

as saying that.

Even 3D printed AKs will be

obsolete thanks to drones.

But businesses have to

develop, innovate.

You said on the phone

you want to transfer funds.

Yeah, that's correct.

Wire transfer, eh?

What happened

to good old green?

You know, stuff you

get to hold and smell.

Stains of a hundred hands,

wondering what dirty wee deals

they've been exchanged in.

Call me OCD...

...but I prefer

the hygienic way.


That thing's crawling

with bacteria.

Hope you don't text back

when you're on the toilet.


What's your

delivery arrangements?

I have a truck parked

a couple miles away

at a service stop.


I'll alert the driver as soon

as the transfer is complete.

Apologies, but it's customary

in this line of business

to ask, what's

the nature of the use?

Nature of their use?

They're g*n.

You don't ask a fisherman

what he's going to

do with his rod.

Yes, but these are

not for catching cod.

These are a*t*matic w*apon,

sans serial numbers.

I need to make sure

that this transaction

and these g*n

can't be tracked back to me.

It's ironic,

but I need to know

they're in safe hands.

The w*apon are to be

shipped to the Middle East

for use in a m*llitary coup.


Middle East is saturated

with substandard AKs,

fit for the purpose.

Is that the best you

can come up with...

Agent Stokes?

[chuckles] What?


Do you think this is some

pissy wee backstreet operation?

All the red flags were there.

First-time buyer,

short notice.

Only, Mark Preston isn't

a first-time buyer...

and you aren't Mark Preston.


Code word?

Falling on deaf ears,

I'm afraid.

[dramatic music]

Oh dear. Oh dear.

[g*n f*ring]

Goodbye, Agent Stokes.

[soft piano music]

[thunder rumbling]

[upbeat rock music]

It's as if I wanna k*ll yeah

Will I miss?

I never will yeah

There's someone comin' over

With a g*n

For the thrill yeah

It's one hell of a day

It's a crazy day

These are crazy days

[rapid, indistinct singing]

It's a crazy day,

a hell of a day

It's as if

I wanna k*ll yeah

Will I miss?

I never will yeah

There's someone comin' over

With a g*n

For the thrill yeah

It's one of a hell of a day

It's a crazy day

A crazy day

These are crazy days

It's a crazy day


Hm, is it, already?

Oh! The light's blinding me.

What are you, a vampire?

[grunts] I need sleep.

I thought you

said you were going

for an early morning run.

Mm, did I?

That's what you told me.


I thought were gonna do

something fun today,

as a family.

I already told you. Maddy's

got school camp this week.

She's getting picked

up this morning.

So it's just us two.


We can do something.

What did you have in mind?


Something dirty.

Something really dirty.

Something really,

really dirty?


Mm. Go on, then.


[whispers] You promised

to clean out the shed.

It's absolutely filthy.

Oh my God, is that the time?

I was gonna go for a run.


Oh, man, that looks good,

greedy guts.

Nick, you'll make her spill

that down her clean pajamas.

So, are you looking

forward to camp, Champ?

Yeah. Are you looking forward

to cleaning out the shed?


[parents laugh]

Ah, who have you

been speaking to?

If I told you,

I'd have to k*ll you.


You're so lame.

I'm lame?

I'm lame.

Is there an echo in here?

Oh, you've done it now.

[Maddy laughs]


-Give me a hug.

-Love you, Dad.


Okay, bye, Mummy.

-Are you excited?


-See you later.

-Have fun.

[Emma] You be good now.

See you soon.



[car door closes]

[birds singing]

[g*n clicking]

[g*n f*ring]

[birds singing]

Thought I might find you here.

Hey, how's it going?

Not bad, how about you?


Really? You're gonna smoke

a cigar right after a jog?

I'm all about

life balance, bro.


-What's happening here?

Ah, just thought I'd try

out some of these bad boys.



Surely you're not retiring

the trusty old p*stol.

Sadly, yes.

Finally fell apart.

The hammer split

It's been around

since the w*r, bro.


I'm just trying to

see which one of these

is a good fit for me.


You thought about moving

the target closer?

-[Derek scoffs]


You got some good sh*t, yeah.

-Colt 1911.

-[both] Classic.

Beretta 92.

PX4, haven't seen one

of these in a while.

Yeah, it's a little bit

more feminine, that one.


That should suit you to a T.

Watch and learn, boy.

Maybe you should stick

to talking people to death.

[g*n clicking]

[g*n f*ring]

[birds singing]

You just come here to

try and piss me off, yeah?

Thought today was your day

with Emma and Maddy.

Maddy's got camp.

Oh, yeah, 'cause

Maddy's got camp.

Yeah, she's got camp,

you f*cking assh*le.

And Emma mentioned something

about spring cleaning,

so I got out of there


That makes more sense.

[cellphone ringing]

[Kate] Hello, Nick.

Hi, Kate, it's good

to hear from you.

Sorry to call you today.

Nah, that's all right.

We're never that busy

on bank holidays.

So, how are you guys then?

Andy didn't come

home last night.

Was he drinking?

No. They called him in

first thing yesterday morning.

Said he had to go.

And you haven't

heard from him since?


You tried calling the agency?

I can't get through

to anyone.

Listen, we'll swing by

in half an hour.

- Are you sure?

-Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

We'll see you soon, okay?

So what's going on?

Stokes is missing.

Okay, I'll pack

the stuff up in the car

if you wanna get changed.


He got a call round 8:00 AM.

They said they needed him

in for an urgent operation.


Does he ever talk

about his work at all

to you?

I thought that was

against protocol.

Well, it is, but is there

anything he might have said

to give an indication

something was wrong?

Well, over the past few weeks,

he was feeling a bit uneasy.

He said that the department

was investigating

possible corruption, and that

he'd likely be questioned.

Yeah, but that's usually

an ongoing procedure.

I mean,

all the units will have

an anticorruption department.

No, the way he was

going on about it, though,

it seems like it could

be more close to home.

You don't think he'd

actually be involved

in anything, though, do you?


[laughs] No.

I can't imagine it.

Why, can you?

No, not Stokes.

Do you have his list

of agency contacts?

Yeah, one minute.

This is the list

that Andy leaves me,

if there's any emergencies.

They're all close

contacts of his.

Names, phone numbers.

I think given the possible

corruption situation

we should exercise a little

bit of caution with this.

Maybe before we call any

of the names on here,

we go check out the safe house.

Yeah, okay.

We'll keep you updated.

And try not to worry.

I'm sure if anything

had happened,

someone would have

contacted you.

Thanks for doing this.

[footsteps crunching]

How do you know the location

of his safe house?

-He told me.


That's not very safe.

I can keep secrets.

No, you can't.

You're the first one to

spoil season finales.

[car door closing]

[birds singing]

Who the f*ck are you?

Take one more step and

I'll f*cking sh**t you.

What are you doing here?

I swear...

Wouldn't do that

if I were you.

What the f*ck

are you doing here?

This is Stokes' place.

Sam Logan.

Agency side.

And where's Stokes?

Sting operation went south.

Stokes went missing.

I'm lying low here.

Are you guys agency or...?

Well, freelance.

Yeah, we go way back.

Who was Stokes after?

Like I'm gonna

tell you two clowns.


Listen, I think

you need to remember

what side of the g*n you're on.


Miles Steiger,

international arms dealer.

We got word that

he was gonna deal

with a g*n runner

named Mark Preston.

So we seized this guy Preston

en route to the meeting.

Stokes took his place.

So you could

apprehend Steiger?


So how did you guys

find out about the meeting

between Steiger and

this Mark Preston?

We got a guy on the inside.

In Steiger's organization?

[Sam] Yeah.

How do you get

in touch with him?

Well, we don't.

He gets in contact with us.

Security protocol helps

protect him, keep him safe.


So how do we get to Stokes?

There's more to it.

[clears throat]

We found out that Steiger

was closing a contract

with a t*rror1st known

as the Chess Master.

We don't know anything

about this guy.

f*ck, we only found out

what Steiger looks like

two days ago.


according to our guy,

it's a major deal.

We been working on it

for weeks.

In fact, the first meeting

between the Chess Master

and Steiger is due to

go down at 4:00 PM today,

according to his intel.

Jesus, doesn't

anyone take days off?

And who the f*ck calls

themselves the Chess Master?

Why not wait and

get the both of them?

Why get this Mark Preston

instead of the big fish?

The plan was twofold--

Capture Steiger then

break into the meeting

with the t*rror1st group.

Substitute Steiger for

one of our agents,

a lookalike so on approach,

no one could tell

it was him.

That way we get all three.

We get the g*n off

the street

that Steiger sold to Preston...

stop the subsequent deal

with the Chess Master,

and Steiger

would be banged up.

Still sounds

a bit rushed to me.

Yeah, well, it was, so...

Yeah, I mean, how come

you only just found out

what Steiger looks like?

I thought you had

an undercover in there.

What the f*ck was he

reporting on, the weather?

Look, the guy had only

been inside for a few days.

Once we got that information,

we decided to strike

while the iron was hot.


Bottom line,

how do we get Stokes?

-[Sam] Well--

-Aw f*ck. Strike team.

Yeah, two approaching

from the front.

-I'll check the rear.


Said the archbishop

to the choirboy. [sucks teeth]

[under breath] Jesus.

[dramatic music]

Nothing out back.

-What are you doing?

-There's been a gas leak.

Come on.

-Come on.

-[items rattling]

[dramatic music]

Let 'em have it.

-Do you smell gas?


you know I've

got a blocked nose.

Ain't no bank holiday

without a barbecue.

[bluesy music plays]

[g*n f*ring]

Is there a fail-safe to

pull this undercover out?

Yeah, you're telling us

you sent someone in there

you couldn't communicate with?

There has to be a way

of contacting them.

There is.

You're looking at him.


Why the f*ck didn't

you say something before?

I didn't know if

you were with Steiger.

Come on, surely

if you were undercover

and the sting operation

went south, you'd lay low,

especially being

the new guy.

Stokes made the

decision to pull me out.

He told me to go

to the safe house

before the sting

operation on Steiger.

I wasn't even there.

Yeah, but you do know where

the deal went down, right?

Yeah, but tactical response

already swept it.

It's vacated.

There's nothing there.

So what's the location

of today's meeting

with this t*rror1st guy?

Same location.

Yeah, so that means that

they've changed the location

of today's meeting, especially

after the attempted raid.

Yeah, meaning

there's nothing to go on.


I'd still like to take

a look at the place

where the deal went down.

I'll take you there.

Well, we found planes.

Well, there's nothing here.

I just had a thought.


Do you know how to contact

this guy, the Chess Master?

Yeah, I caught

sight of his number

when Steiger made the call.

And what use is that?

So, how about we

call him up, right?

We pose as Steiger,

change the location of

the day's meeting, all right?

Now, we use

the Steiger doppelganger

as originally planned, and

we capture the Chess Master.

That doesn't help us

get Steiger or Stokes.

Yeah, yeah, no, it does,

right, because

assuming today's meeting

is still going ahead,

Steiger will have already


the Chess Master

to change the location.

When we capture the Chess


we get him to tell us

the original location,

we run up on Steiger

surrounded by illegal arms

waiting for his money.

[scoffs] f*ck,

this is getting complicated.

But won't he have

heard his voice?

No, he uses one of

those voice distorters

attached to an old telephone.

That's how he's able

to track the contact.

Number redial.

But won't he be suspicious

that we've changed

the location for a second time?

It's all we've got.

What's the name of this guy

that's posing as Steiger?

Darren Bundy.

Let's get him involved.

Because we have three hours

to pull this sh*t off.

[alarm beeps]

[dramatic music]

[man] The two wild cards.

Steiger was wondering what

your interest in all this was.

Oh, yeah? Why don't you

tell him to come find out?

Drop your w*apon.

That includes you.

Everyone, back the f*ck

away from your g*n.

Always lets the lads get

in some real-life practice.

Oh, oh yeah?

You're gonna regret that.

How about I make

that smile permanent?

[blows striking]

[dramatic music]

[dramatic music continues]

[bones break]

Lord have mercy,

you're good.

But what do we do about this

little situation right here?

Just go after Sam.

He can't get us both.

I'll make do with just one.


[man on radio]

We've got him. Ready to go.

[grunts] Little something

to remember me by.

[Nick grunts]

It's a fake!

[dramatic music]

[tires squeal]

[music continues]


I'm fed up with this sh*t.

Yeah, Darren Bundy's

name's on this list.

[buttons clicking]

[line ringing]

[Darren] Hi.

Darren Bundy speaking.

Yeah, hi, Darren.

My name's Nick.

I'm close friends

with Andy Stokes.

- Okay.

-Yeah, listen,

his wife gave me

your telephone number.

Are you able to

meet with us at all?

Is that Nick Spencer?

-Yeah, it is.

- Andy's told me

all about you guys.

Is everything okay?

Not really.

Stokes has gone missing.

It would be best if we can

meet in person, if possible.

Can you meet me

in half an hour?

Do you know where the

old archives building is?

[Derek] Darren?

Yeah, pleased

to meet you both.

Andy mentioned you guys

a few times.

I trained him up when he

first joined the service.

You know he hasn't been

seen since yesterday, right?

Not seen by who?

What do you mean?

Well, how do you

know he's missing?

My instructions were to wait

for a meeting place

to be confirmed.

That's all I was briefed on.

For the meeting at 4:00 PM?

Yeah, that's

in two hours' time.

Well, where did I--

Sometimes you don't

receive critical details

until at least an hour before.

Such is the nature of fieldwork.

Hmm. Well, Stokes is

nowhere to be seen.

An undercover agent

named Sam Logan

has been taken

by Steiger's men,

the arms dealer you're set

to pose as this afternoon.

Yeah, that's right.

Steiger was supposed to be

in a secure facility

by this point.

Nobody's notified me otherwise.

A secure facility?

Can you access

government detainees?

Yeah, of course.

Depending on if I've got

the level of clearance

needed to speak to

the prisoner in question, why?

Would you be able

to check and see

if there's a Mark Preston

in custody?

Who's Mark Preston?

He was the buyer that

Stokes posed as yesterday

and that was the last time

that he was seen.

Yeah, he's our only sh*t

at getting Steiger.

I see.

Okay, let me see

if he's been held.

[man] Release.

Move it.

You know where you're going.

Take a seat.


Mark Preston?

Yeah, that's me.

Who brought you here, Mark?

How should I know?

Some hooded g*ons.

Have you been questioned

by anyone since?

No, ain't heard

a peep out of anyone.

Not least why I'm here.

Why you're here?

You're a f*cking arms dealer.

What's your business

with Miles Steiger?

That's no hard question.

Is there a reduced sentence

attached to this conversation?

That depends on how

helpful you are, Mark.

Now get back in your chair.


I'm a g*n smuggler.

I was acting as a liaison

between Steiger

and a despot in the Far East.

Steiger was 3D printing

a load of w*apon for him.

What was in it for you?

I was just acting

as an intermediary

for a percentage of the profit.

You know, like a broker.

Normally, I would

smuggle the g*n myself,

but Steiger has a channel

for getting the w*apon

outta the country.

What, the airfield?

Yeah, he owns

that private airfield.

Planes carrying contraband

take off and land all the time,

and he oversees everything.

Is that the only

place you know

that Steiger operates out of?

Hmm, there and one other.

Some old disused plant

used to make pipes,

components for buildings.

Like a steel plant?


That's where they keep

the printing equipment.

Down by a railway line.

Yeah, I know the one.


What's with this photo?

Is it supposed to be you?


[photo slipping]

That's Miles Steiger.

[laughs] That's not Steiger.

[soft dramatic music]

How do you know?

Because I've seen

him lots of times.

He's a younger bloke with

a slick-backed brown hair.

Oh, my God.

What, Sam Logan?

-Are you sure?


He's a close contact.

Not many people meet him

face to face.

Do you have a picture

anywhere of Steiger?

I just told you.

He's a private person.

You think I've got

a bunch of f*cking selfies

taken down the pub

with him, eh?

Give me your phone.

Let me bring up his Facebook.

Don't get smart.

Watch yourself.

What is this then?

Good cop, bad cop?

I told you everything I know.

I ain't a cop.

We ain't got time for

this, Nick. Let's go.

Yeah, we ain't

got time for this.

Piece of sh*t.

[door buzzes]

So what's the plan now?

Storm the steel plant.

I can assemble a team.

Listen, Darren.

Stokes got word of

a mole in the agency.

How do you know

who you can trust?

In that case,

we want it to be just us.

Let's not take any chances.

I can imagine this has

got something to do

with Stokes' disappearance.

Three missed calls from Emma.

Do you think you

can get your family

to Stokes' safe house?

Eh, there might be a

slight problem with that.

Yes, um ...

Yeah, we blew it up.


Yeah, it was a gas leak.

[sucks teeth]

Gas leak, very nasty.

Stokes was right

about you two.

Go check on Emma.

Get yourselves cleaned up.

I'll get some gear

together and text you

another address

where to meet me at.

We have just over an hour

to that meeting.


A f*cking gas leak.


[punches thudding]

[cellphone rings]


Your name's like a bad word

in my camp right now.

[Miles] Why's that?

Well, first you postpone

the meeting by three days,

and next you wanna

change the location.

I don't appreciate

being dicked around.

This is a sensitive deal.

Timing is crucial.

I appreciate that.

And let me assure you,

security is a priority

and we both need this deal

to get through

as safely as possible.

Meaning what? You've had

issues with the law already?

Not the law exactly.

Rebel army representatives.

When they're ready,

I'll incentivize the deal,

and you won't get

your hands dirty.

Getting my hands dirty

is my business,

and I've never been afraid of

a little bit of cleaning up.

What's the problem with a

ragtag band of rebels anyway?

We need to increase

our carrying charge.

I've had to pay off a couple

of customs officials.

[scoffs] Corruption in

a f*cking banana republic.

Who would've guessed?

What the hell's going on?

I called you three times.

Jesus, you two look like

you've seen a ghost.

Well, the front door

was open.

I'm actually just in the door.

I was carrying the shopping.

What's happened to your face?

-It's just a scratch.

-Emma, we're in the middle--

Guys, what the f*ck

is going on,

and what is he doing here?

[sighs] Stokes is missing.


Yeah, Kate phoned us earlier.

Listen, we don't

have time to explain.

We're about to go on a raid

but the clock's ticking

and we need to move.

I'll phone you when

we're through, okay?

Sharing's caring.

And lock the door.


[soft dramatic music]

[upbeat dramatic music]

[g*n f*ring]

[g*n fires again]

-[Kn*fe cuts]

-[man grunts]

I'm gonna make

a quick phone call to Kate

and let her know

what's going on.

She must be worried.

Yeah, maybe we've been

a bit insensitive there.

Oh well, it's been

a tough day, man.

I am starting to

dread bank holidays.


Remember this time last year

when you said you wanted

to quit all of this

and have a normal life?


What made you

change your mind?

I don't know, man.

It's difficult to describe.

It's like an addiction.

Like if you stopped

there'd be


missing in your life?

Yeah, cause nothing's

gonna replace doing this.

No, it's not addiction.

It's passion.



-Oh, yeah.

Don't worry,

I'm cringing too, man.

And I'd miss all

these f*cking inane chats

in the car with you.

Well, you could still meet up

and have a chat in the car, bro.

Yeah, cause that's not weird.

And g*n. I'd miss

the smell of g*n.


Spoken like

a true psychopath.

What about the fistfights?

Oh yeah, love

a good fistfight.

-[both] And explosions.


And, those inconveniently

timed ambushes.

You know when you enter a

building all stealthy and sh*t

and then some f*ck

knocks you out,

g*n butt to

the back of the neck.

Yeah. It's a classic, but

I hate it when it happens.

-Ah, such a cheap sh*t.


Where do you think

Darren's got to?

Don't know. Said he

was gonna meet us here.

We've got less than an hour,

so I might go inside

and check and see

if he needs a hand.


Want me to come with?

We don't have

to be together 24-7.

Yeah, I get jealous.

-[Derek chuckling]

-[phone buttons clicking]

Hi, Kate. Yeah.

Just wanna give you an update

as to what's going on.


[upbeat dramatic music]

[Nick groans]

[upbeat dramatic music]


[upbeat dramatic music]


[g*n f*ring]


[g*n f*ring]

Nick, wake up.


-You all right?

-Wake up.

-f*cking hell.

Did you break anything?

Just the world record

for the fastest

arse-kicking in history.

Yeah, well.

Come on, get up.

[both grunt]

sh*t. We need to get

to that meeting.

Where's Darren?

Nowhere to be seen.

Just have to go without him.

So, Sam Logan

is Miles Steiger.

Yeah, so Stokes, he must

have been suspicious of Sam.

Sam volunteers to go undercover

to try and prove himself.

Yeah and instead

he lures Stokes in

with this sting operation

and uses it to get rid

of anyone that knew

about the agency mole.

Who's this bald guy that

Darren was posing as?

He's Steiger's face.

He's his salesman.

He's the guy

that allows Steiger

to continue being

Sam Logan the agent

and Miles Steiger

the w*apon dealer.


And Sam Logan remains an

active agent so that if anyone

gets close to Steiger,

he can take them out.

Gotta give it to them.

That is kinda brilliant.

Yeah. Well, they're

about to be dead.

Come on.

What's in the backpack?


[Nick exhaling]

[breathing rhythmically]

What are you doing?

It's just--

Why are you

making those noises?

It's just, you know ...

[breathes rhythmically]

Hyping us up.

Well, I don't need hyped up.

I like to enter quietly

through the back door.

It's called stealth.

See, I like to smash

through the front door

making as much

noise as possible.

Yeah, well, some of us

don't need to make any noise

to let them know we're inside.


Just drive the car.

[both chuckling]

We should get rid of

the dead agent's body.

Is it still at the airfield?

I put him in

the back of the car.

They'll come looking for him.

Right, slugs out his chest,

put him in the driver's seat,

run it off a dock.

And when they find him?

He'll have rotted

away to nothing.

I'll finish up here.

[soft mysterious music]

Must've hurt your head in

the fall when you got sh*t.

You bleed good, Agent Stokes.

[music continues]


Come and have

a look at this.

Jesus Christ.

He's risen from

the f*cking dead.

Good job making

sure he was dead.

Didn't you realize when

you lifted his body?

Must've been out cold.

Dear, oh dear.

Hi there.

I'd like to say

you're in heaven,

but I'm afraid

you're in hell.




Hope it's not amnesia.

I was rather hoping you would

tell me who your friends are.


The two cowboys that

are intent

on making this

a bank holiday to remember.

[chuckles] As long

as you've got breath

in your f*cking body,

you'll never be safe from them.

-[switchblade clicks]

-Wait a sec.

I've got someone who's

gonna want to say hi.

Arms up.

[pulsing music nearby]


Arms up.

[hands patting]

I think I'm okay.

Go through.

You are the Chess Master?



I'm never surprised by

what a woman is capable of.

Wife or mistress?


Are we gonna sit

and chitchat or

are you gonna deal me in?

Buy-in's 200K.

[phone chimes]

Ante's 500.

I assume you didn't want

to see me for a game of card.

No, I prefer chess.

The deal is still set

for next week?

Yes, it is.

What is it?

Well, there's been a change.

[Buyer] What change?

The price.

[soft mysterious music]

I bet 2K.


Are you gonna play your hand?

[music continues]


I call.

I fold.

Deal the flop then.

Let's talk business,

or are you just g*n

for my small change here?

Out with it.

Look, the price has

gone up 30%, okay?

I didn't even

see your lips move.

There has been a rival bidder.

A rival bidder?


We are the People's Army.

But they offered 30% more.

And besides, we've had

tighter border control,

additional expenses.

Long as you can match

that, the g*n are yours.

You are crazy.

I bet 50K.

I'll tell you what.

You win this hand, I'll give

you the g*n for nothing.

And if you win?

Then you up the price by 50%.


[laughs] Is that it?

You should stick to chess!




[laughter continues]

Still got two cards left.


Deal the f*cking turn

and river.

Next f*cking card!


Now you know the terms.

We'll be in touch next week.


I think he wants

to renegotiate.

Yeah, well, I'll be outside.

Not scared of a

little scuffle, are we?

Don't f*cking speak to me

like that.

I keep a low profile.

You do you.

Think you can play with me?

[shouts in native language]

You know my name, right?

[blows striking]


[bones break]


[sword slices]


[body thuds]


Jesus Christ.

What would you have

done if he'd won?

I was gonna k*ll him

after the coup anyway.


[groans softly]


Whoa, down boy.

You want a job?

Aye, all right.

How much you paying?

[light upbeat music]

[Derek] I'll go high.

You go low.

[Nick] No, I'll go left.

You go right.

[Derek] Yeah.




[grunts quietly]

[chuckles] Oh.


The old g*n butt to

the back of the neck.

I wondered when that

was gonna show up today.

Thank f*ck for that.

You were snoring.

f*ck you.

Didn't quite go to plan, huh?


What do you think they've

got in store for us?

Who knows?

I haven't seen anyone yet.

Maybe they're just gonna

leave us here to die.

Somehow, I don't think

we'll be that fortunate.

[fake laughs]

Got a plan?

Not yet.

God, what a day.

To think, I was looking

forward to some peace

in the country,

drinking beer

and sh**ting the empty cans.

[scoffs] What, is your aim

better when you're pissed?

[both laugh]

Day's not over yet, bro.

Yeah, I'm in the mood for

some more target practice.


-You know it's funny, right?


Tied to this chair,

my head hurts like a b*tch.

Probably gonna die

at the hands of a bunch

of bloodthirsty arms

dealers, and yet

there is no place

that I would rather be

than with you, babe.

[both laugh]

You know

that's horseshit, man.

You'd rather be

with your family.

I'd rather be with your family.

[both laugh]

See, now we just need to

figure a way out of here.

[door closes]

f*ck me.

[soft suspenseful music]

[Andy] Jesus. All

my worries are over.


Hey, man, how you holding up?

Well, the

accommodation ain't great,

the staff ain't very friendly,

and don't get me

started on the food.

I guess this wasn't part

of the rescue mission?

Oh, no, everything's, like,

totally gone to plan, bro.

Yeah, we're just about

to act all heroic and sh*t.

Are you finished?

Where's that rat f*ck Sam at?

He's on his way.

Don't you boys

look a bit banged up.

Did they relent?

If by relent you

mean they d*ed, yeah.

We'll go with the other buyers.


this is the Chess Master.

Something I been wanting

to ask you all day.

Why the f*ck do they call

you the Chess Master?

Cause everybody's

a pawn in my name.

-[scoffs] What--



You're gonna love this,


This is genius.

Tell them your angle.

Come on, we're gonna

m*ssacre them anyway.

We target third world


with volatile

political climates.

Then, we flood the market

with w*apon

to incite nationwide

conflict and unrest,

by arming underfunded t*rror1st

groups and rebel armies.



To crash the stock market

and devalue the currency.

Then we buy the stocks and


in collaboration

with a business consortium

of bankers, wealthy investors

and crime syndicates.

At which point, we

facilitate the neutralization

of territories

stricken by unrest,

using mercenary groups of

rogue former black ops,

and profit off the subsequent

recovery of the economy.


It's f*cking genius,

isn't it?

That's her elevator pitch.

I love it.

I'm bored.

Yeah, you and me both, mate.

Let's get this sh*t over with.

Do you know the good thing

about hitting people

in the face with this?

I don't feel any pain.

I could punch you all night.

And only stop because

I get tired or bored.

Lost it in '82, Falklands.

g*n wound gone septic.

Originally, gave me a

clumsy looking prosthetic.

[dramatic music]

Then I 3D-printed

this f*ck.


[laughs louder]


[chuckles] What?

What's so funny?

What could

possibly be so funny?


[laughing continues]

Oh ho, see, he's

an arms dealer, right?

And he's only got

one arm.

[both laugh]

[laughter continues]

[all laugh]

[Miles laughs]

Mocking the afflicted.


[Andy] Hey, try me,


Don't worry, we will.

[victims groaning]

Time's up. Snuff them, and

let's get back to business.


[sighs, chuckles]

You know,

I got a last request.


Have I got time

for a cheeky cigar?


I don't see why not.

It's not as if you're

gonna have time

to die of lung cancer.

I've been telling him

that for years.

And he's still here.

Do you wanna do the honors?

Don't tempt me

with a good time.

Well, I'm kinda

tied up right now.

You're so lame.


You're the second person

to tell me that today.


You know, I really

gotta give up, man.

These things'll

f*cking k*ll you.

All right, enough

[bag beeping]

[blast echoing]

[muted coughing]

[dramatic music]


You didn't develop

Stockholm syndrome, did you?

Does that answer

your question?


sh*t, there's

more guys coming.

[g*n cocks]

[dramatic music]

[soft mysterious music]


Team Two, initiate response.

I'm shorter than you guys.

[soft upbeat dramatic music]

Come on guys, go, go, go!

[dramatic music continues]

[dramatic music]



[Andy growls]

Get in the car.

[upbeat dramatic music]


Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo.


[both shouting]

[both shouting]


[both shouting]

[stick clatters]

Team Three, initiate.

[engine starting]

Crazy crazy, crazy crazy

La, la la la,

La la la, la la la

Find a w*apon!

La, la la la,

la la la, la la la

Crazy, crazy, crazy day

It's a crazy, crazy,

crazy day

It's a crazy,

crazy, crazy day

It's a crazy, crazy,

crazy day

It's a hell of a day

It's a hell of a day

It's a crazy,

crazy, crazy day

It's a crazy, crazy,

crazy day

It's a crazy,

crazy, crazy day

Hell of a day

La, la la la,

la la la, la la la

La, la la la la

f*cking get them!

La la la, la la la,

la la la

La la la, la

Crazy, crazy, crazy,

crazy day




Check on Stokes!

She's mine.

He's going after the agent.

Get upstairs and head them off.

[dramatic music]

[Derek coughs]


Operator. Please proceed.

This is Special Agent

Sam Logan


emergency extraction.

Can you please confirm

your coordinates,

or enable GPS tracking?

Better tell them to

bring an extra body bag.

[Sam grunts]

Come on, Stokesy boy.

[Sam grunting]

-[Sam yells]

-[bones cr*ck]

[both panting]

Stokes. Stokes?

We're on

the same side, assh*le.

We're on the same side.

I'm sending you

to the other side.


[upbeat dramatic music]


-Hey, Stokes.

[Stokes grunts]

Drop it. Drop it.

[tense music]

Let's finish this.

[Andy groans]



h*t a dead end, have we?

You love this sh*t,

don't you?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Me, too.

[both groaning]

[upbeat dramatic music]


Oh, you are all leg,

aren't you?

[chuckles, grunts]


Still having fun?

Oh, heaps.


Oh, that's

disappointing, isn't it?

You guys are

all the same, aren't you?

All bark and no bite.

But it's over now.

[shouts in pain]

[chuckles, coughs]



You really need to

mix things up a bit.

Your kicks are

becoming predictable.






Maybe you should have

stuck to using your legs.



[bones cr*ck]


It's like

cracking a cold one.


I don't need this to k*ll you.

[Kn*fe clatters]

You're gonna regret that.


Yes, too easy. Too easy.


[bones cr*ck]


You all done, yeah, huh?


Don't I get a cool death?


Little something

to remember me by.

[dramatic music]

[heart b*ating]

[heartbeat slows]

[siren blares]

[police radio chatter]


Ho ho, ho ho!

Welcome to the Look Like

sh*t, Feel Like sh*t Show.

And today's special guest,

Mr. Agent Andy Stokes,

recent kidnap victim,


and master of guerrilla warfare.

Agent Stokes, now that you

are what we would like to call

a true survivor, tell us,

who b*at the f*ck

out of you today?

Do you guys ever stop?

Oh! Wrong answer.


Too many hits

in the head.


Listen, I know it's late,

and you guys have had

a f*ck of a day

but my boss

has invited you to dinner

as a token of his gratitude.

I could eat.

What about you?

Yeah, sounds good.

I'll give my boss a call.

Feel free to go home

and get cleaned up.


Well, I thought I might

just wear this.

Yeah, smart.


Yeah, you are

a f*cking casualty.


It's Stokes.

Andy's boss seemed

pretty impressed.

Maybe there'll be a job

in it for you guys.

[laughs, groans]

Well, too much risk involved.


Yeah right.

We like to live and

play by our own rules.

Isn't that right, Nick?


We're gonna be late.

Since when did you

become the timekeeper?

Guys, listen,

I just got called.

Forensics need me to swing by

and identify the bodies.

You two go on.

I'll catch you up.

-[Nick] Can't it wait?

-Apparently not.

Oh, well,

we'll send your apologies.

Bye, then. [laughs]

You know it's really good

to talk to someone

who goes through

the same sh*t

every time this lot leave.

[chuckles] Yeah.

At least Andy's got some

kind of structure, though,

and government

protection in his role.

Whereas these two idiots...

out g*n for everyone.

How was it you guys met again?

I worked at the American

embassy in London.

It was just after Andy had

been discharged from the army.

He was stationed there as

security for a few months.

Ex-workies. How romantic.

[laughs] What

about you and Nick?


Now there's

a proper fairy tale.

We fell over each other drunk

one Sunday about

2:00 AM in a club,

and we've never looked back.

Head over heels.


Do you want another drink?

Yeah, sure.

Ooh, ooh [laughs].

Do you know where

they're going for dinner?

Tony's country retreat.

He's got a cabin

somewhere up in hills.

He's staying there for bank

holiday weekends apparently.

That's the first

I've heard of it.

W-What do you mean?

Well, Andy was saying

that they're going

to some Greek

restaurant in town.

Nick got a text when

Andy was getting changed.

Saying what?

Saying that the plans

had changed.

Andy's boss has just come

from an secondment in Canada.

Has he?

Yeah. He sold out

before he left.

He's been over there

for five years.

Unless he's renting it

for the weekend.


Where did you say

the cabin was?

Hi, Dex.


Couldn't this have waited?

I've got to go home

as well, you know.

Something good on TV?

No, I've got

the grandkids tonight.

Now just sign down

the bottom, as per usual.

The first one here is...

Miles Steiger.

Now, are you ready for this?

Dex, you ask me

this every time.

It's just my wee catchphrase.

I've seen

a million dead bodies.

Well, we all need a hobby.

But are you ready for this?

This is one clean cut

to the neck.

He bled out.

You guys need to

cleanse your soul,

watch a romcom or


because this...

is sick.


I did warn you.

Who brought the body in here?

It came with all the rest

from the steel plant. Why?

[soft dramatic music]

Stokes, what's wrong?


And what are you looking at?

It's a shitty night

to be driving up here.

You said you wanted to spend

some time in the country.


But not like this.

[wipers whirring]

Yeah, don't be

telling them that joke

about the archbishop

and the choirboy,

for the love of God.


-You know, man,

I think we've taken

a wrong turn somewhere.

We were meant to be there

like five minutes ago.

[rain pattering]

[dramatic music]

[tires squealing]

Nice night to die.

You first.

[dramatic music continues]


[both exclaim]

[Nick yelling]


Looks like

a farewell to arms.

You all right?

-Need a hand?


Don't turn your back

on me, boy. [grunts]


You mother--

Oh! [wheezes]

[wheezing continues]

Try getting back up from this.

[rain pattering]

Derek, Derek.


You all right?

[Derek groans]

I think this is

in line to be

the second

worst day of my life.

Oh, yeah?

What's the worst?

[laughing painfully]

The day I met you.

Derek, Derek, there's

no signal out there.

Oh, just leave it, man.


There's nothing you can do.

Don't say that. Come on.

-There's always a way.


I love your optimism.

Can't keep me alive.

Yo, yo, remember

this time last year?

I was lying,

dying in your arms.

Now you're lying,

dying in mine. f*ck.

Lucky nobody's ever

around, aye?

They might start to think that

we're romantically involved.


I'm game if you are.

-Oh, yeah.

-What's that,

your last request, huh?

[laughs, groans]

Oh, actually, I could

really do with a cigar.

[rain pattering]

Stokes! Stokes!

f*ck. You all right?

[Derek laughs]

Don't worry, Derek.

Help's on its way.

Foiled again.

What's it take to get

a bit of privacy?

Yeah, I mean, we were just

about to start making out.

Maybe we could

have a three-way.

[all laugh]

Oh, Agent Stokes

gave me a kiss.

That banter between you guys

is far too h*m*.

Yeah, f*ck that.

Next time we'll have, like,

a sh**t in a strip club

or something.

Won't be the first time

someone's blown a load in there.

[all laughing]

[Derek groaning]

[gentle music]

[wind whistling]

[man on radio]

T-minus five minutes.


Stand by.

All right, roger.

[Derek] Time for a cigar?

There's always time

for a cigar.


There you go.

Ah, it's a nice day.

Yeah, it's kinda

peaceful here, right?


Need a light, hm?


[electronic beeping]


-Oh, sh*t.


[upbeat guitar music]

Ooh, I just can't

figure you out

At first you're close and

then you're miles away

Why not tell me what

you're all about

'Cause I wanna

try and understand

The thoughts

that's in your head

I can't turn back time

The past is gone at last

Well, yesterday is so far

gone it's outta sight

But I just play along

And I keep moving on

And though I've tried I can't

slow down this bumpy ride

It just keeps rolling on

Oh, it keeps rolling on

Do you still have

sleepless nights?

Do you try to catch

a dream or two?

I have this

picture in my mind

One day soon,

when you reach out

The love will not be there

%And I'm not the one

standing in your way

Well, yesterday is so far

gone it's out of sight

But I just play along

'Cause I keep moving on

And though I've tried I can't

slow down this bumpy ride

It just keeps rolling on

Oh, it keeps rolling on

%You get some days

you feel happy inside

And other days

you catch the blues

Don't be discouraged if

it doesn't turn out right

It's your life,

you get to choose

Oh, it keeps rolling on

It keeps rolling on

It keeps rolling on

It keeps rolling on
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