Oh!
Rascal.
Is that you?
You come on out now.
You hear me?
Rascal?
Where are you?
You son of a b*tch.
Show yourself!
Rascal.
God damn it... Rascal.
You think you can hide
from me, huh?
You're, uh... disloyal.
g*dd*mn.
Rascal!
We promised to look after
one another.
We promised we'd be there
for one another.
I take care of you, don't I?
This is the thanks I get?
Huh?
This is how you repay me?
By leaving again?
Okay.
All right, then.
That's how you want to play?
Well, that's just how
we're gonna play it.
But you ain't gonna like it.
Rascal, you ain't gonna like it
one bit.
'Cause there's a penalty
for leaving.
There's a penalty, all right,
and the penalty for that,
my friend, is death.
You hear me?
You flea-bitten son of a b*tch.
Death.
By me throwing you in that fire
right over there
till you're black as charcoal,
yeah.
And then I'm gonna eat
your picking bones clean.
And then I'm gonna wash you down
with some hooch.
And then it'll be me doing
the pissing all over your ass.
Yeah!
Whoo!
On the other hand,
maybe I'll just stuff you.
Stick your head right up
on that wall there, yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, is that what you want?
'Cause that's what you're gonna
get, you keep running off
and leaving me this way.
Nobody leaves me.
God damn it.
Nobody leaves me!
What about you, ginger snitch?
You want some company up there?
I'm sorry, sir.
I didn't... I didn't mean...
You ain't Rascal.
What?
I'm sorry, sir. I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to bother you.
- Who the hell are you?
- What?
I said, "Who the hell are you?!"
God damn it!
I'm... I'm nobody.
Nobody?!
I mean, you're standing there,
ain't you?
- Oh.
- You got to be somebody.
I meant
I'm no one that you know.
Well... no shit.
- Where is he?
- Who?
- Rascal, God damn it.
- Who's Rascal?
Rascal. g*dd*mn disloyal dog
who run off.
- You seen him?
- Sorry, sir. I'm sorry. A dog?!
A dog! Ruff!
- No, sir.
- You sure?
- No, sir.
- What?
- I-I mean... You mean...
- Hey!
Shut up!
I'll put a hole in you size
of a buffalo's assh*le.
You hear me?
Why are you here?
What is your name?
What the hell you rapping
on my door for?
Oh.
My name is Joe, sir.
I got lost in the woods.
I saw smoke coming
from the chimney.
I came here for help.
You sure don't look like
no hiker.
I'm not.
Uh... I got lost.
Let me ask you a question, Joe.
My wife.
She didn't send you out here,
did she?
Oh. I'm sorry, sir.
Your... Your wife?
You heard me,
you son of a b*tch.
My wife.
Did she send you out here?
She send you out here
to check on me?
No.
She didn't send you out here
to...
take me away, did she?
Absolutely not.
Don't you lie to me.
I'm not.
All right, then.
I suppose I'm gonna believe you.
Thank you.
For now.
But you can bet
your sweet little baby nuts
I'm gonna give you some smoke,
I find you've been lying to me.
That clear?
Yeah, that's... that's clear.
Okay, then.
Come on in.
Thank you.
Have a seat right over there.
Up!
Ah.
Comfy?
Yes, sir. Very much so.
Thank you.
You don't look comfy.
You know, for a second there,
I actually thought
you were gonna sh**t me.
I was.
This is a wonderful home
you have here, sir.
I really love everything
you've done with all the, uh...
dead animals.
Shut up.
We ain't done yet.
We ain't?
Nope.
You still got
some questions to answer.
I-I do?
g*dd*mn right you do.
This ain't no Holiday Inn, son.
This look like a Holiday Inn
to you?
No, sir, not really.
This is my home.
And you're just a stranger
in it.
Yeah, you're g*dd*mn right.
You got some questions
to answer.
Okay.
We don't get
many visitors. Yeah.
By "we," I mean me.
And the Rascal.
Normally just the two of us,
except when he runs off.
Which he does.
From time to time.
And when that happens...
it's just me.
When I'm here all by my lonesome
and some stranger
comes knocking on my door, well
yeah, I get a little... paranoid.
And so I take some extra
precaution just to be safe.
You can understand that,
now, can't you?
Yes, sir, I understand.
Hm. That's good.
I'm glad you can understand it,
'cause here's
what's gonna happen.
You're just gonna sit there,
keep your g*dd*mn mouth shut,
and only open it if, and
when, I ask you a question.
Okay.
I'm gonna sit right here and...
What did I just say?!
Are you deaf?
Am I not talking clear enough?
You're skating on thin ice
with me, boy. Thin ice.
What's mine is mine,
and I don't know you.
So you just do like I say, hmm?
Or you could end up
just like... her.
Good.
We'll start again.
You got lost?
- Yes, sir.
- Ah.
You didn't come out here
with no one else?
No, sir.
Well, that wasn't very smart
of you, was it?
Well, in hindsight, sir,
no, I guess it wasn't.
What you doing out here
all by yourself?
It's kind of a long story.
I'm not sure you'd believe me.
Okay.
Mm.
Well, I guess I'd be a bit
of a hypocrite...
if I started throwing stones
'cause somebody
got themselves turned around.
That can happen
to the best of them,
especially out here
in these woods, and...
Yeah.
I can understand that.
Yeah.
It's nice when you're lost
and somebody can help you
find your way.
Am I right?
Yes, sir.
Sheesh. Hm.
Did I say you could get up?!
I'm sorry, sir.
Don't you worry about
keeping eyes on me, boy.
Oh, look, I can
appreciate your concern.
Yeah, I see you. Just, you're...
You're sitting there,
your hands on your knees...
thinking, "Well
why is this fella"
so... so... so paranoid
and suspicious?
Why is this fella so...
So paranoid and suspicious?
"When all I want is to find
my way back?"
That right?
Would that be fair?
Maybe.
I-I mean, I guess so.
See, this cabinet was built
way off the beaten path
so that whoever occupies it,
which at the moment
is me and Rascal,
we wouldn't be bothered.
In fact, it's so far
off the path that, well...
we ain't had a visitor
in a long time.
So when we do have a visitor,
rare as that is, well...
naturally we're curious.
How'd they find it
in the first place?
So question number one is...
how did you find it
in the first place?
I don't know.
What the hell do you mean,
you don't know?
I-I mean, really, I don't know.
I went off the trail I was on
and got turned around.
I honestly couldn't tell you.
Then I saw the smoke.
I mean, thank God
you had your fire going.
I wouldn't thank him just yet.
I ain't too convinced
that what you're saying
ain't a heaping pile of shit.
Well, I'm telling you,
it's the...
Question number two...
How do I know you're not
some g*dd*mn psycho k*ller?
What?
Psycho k*ller, God damn it.
How do I know you're not some
maniac madman on the loose?
Well, I...
I mean, do I look like
a psycho k*ller to you?
Well, yes, you do.
I read all about them sick
b*stards in the papers, and...
all of them's librarians
or schoolteachers or lawyers.
Ordinary-looking people
just... just like you.
Harmless on the outside,
but, inside crazy.
Cannibalistical.
Mm-hmm.
Child molesters.
Evil sons of b*tches.
I'm not a teacher
or a librarian. I swear.
I don't give a rat's ass
what you swear
you are or you aren't.
I just want to make damn sure
that you're not gonna come
creeping up behind me
with a frying pan and bash
my brains in and cook me
and eat me for your supper.
I'm not gonna k*ll you
or eat you. I promise.
- You promise?
- I promise.
- You swear?
- I swear.
How do I know
you're telling the truth?
Because I don't eat people.
You don't?
No.
You just k*ll them?
Of course not.
It's against the law.
That's right.
It's against the law.
Besides...
eating people is gross.
Yes, sir.
A man's only as good
as his word. Mm-hmm.
You break that, you break the
very thing you claim to be...
A man.
So you remember that.
Yes, sir.
Question number three.
And this one may be
more important
than the other two, so...
well, don't you
go getting cute with me.
Mm.
Joe...
are you a salesman?
No.
Joe.
- I'm not.
- Joe.
I'm not.
Don't you lie to me now.
Well, I'm not.
I swear I'm not.
I'm not selling anything.
What you got in your bag?
Hey!
Nice and slow.
Okay.
It's just some toiletries and...
and a first-aid kit.
And some trail mix and...
Look, I'm not a salesman.
Give me the bag.
Nothing else, huh?
What's this for?
Whittling a flute?
Um, no, sir.
Well, what then?
It's for protection.
- Protection?
- Yes, sir.
- Against who?
- Well, hopefully no one.
Well...
why is it in your bag?
Well, because I knew
I was coming out to these woods.
You've been out here before?
Yes, sir.
I used to come here
when I was little.
Whenever I'd visit
my grandfather,
he used to take me out here
to fly-fish the Little River.
Huh?
This ain't
for no fly-fishing, Joe.
Well, I mean, he told me
you can never be too careful
in these woods.
That you should be ready
for anything.
He... He told me it's beautiful,
but it can also be dangerous.
Well...
he was right about that.
There's all kind of death
and beauty out here.
Oh, may I have it back, please?
Well...
if it's all the same to you,
Joe,
I think that I'll hold on
to it for the time being.
You ain't out of the woods.
Yet.
Right. Right.
I understand.
Well...
where you off to?
And where's the fire?
Um... you can keep the knife.
I-I just feel like
maybe I'd be better off
if I was on my way, is all.
Well, on your way?
Where?
Oh. Uh...
Well, um...
uh, I was thinking...
No, you weren't.
- What?
- Thinking.
You weren't thinking at all,
were you?
Actually, no, I guess I wasn't.
Why did you just try to run off?
You scare me.
I scare you?
Yes, sir.
Well, why is that?
I mean, you seem a little crazy,
is all.
Crazy?
Crazy how?
Oh, I don't know.
Just in a general kind of a way.
Well...
I learned a long time ago...
Never give nobody the benefit
of the doubt. Mm-hmm.
Hm.
Why don't we do this?
Why don't we just...
Just nip it in the bud, hmm?
Cut right to the chase,
and let's just agree
that we are not going to hurt
each other, huh?
How does that sound?
Like a plan?
Will you give me your word
on that, sir?
My word?
Well, what about your word?
I'm the one who's offer
the olive branch here,
Mr. Dipshit, huh?
Hey, why would
I ever want to hurt you?
I mean, that would be cruel.
Look at you shaking.
You look like about
to piss yourself.
That's because I am, sir.
Well, not on my floor,
God damn it.
You got to piss, go on.
You use the pissoir.
Right over there.
Go on. Shoo.
I won't watch, darlin'.
Just follow your nose.
Yeah, you found it.
Good boy.
You got it.
That's the trouble with
all you young people these days.
Especially you younger men.
You got no fight in you,
no taste for v*olence, yeah.
Your blood don't boil...
like those who come before.
Like me, my generation.
We was brought up like
ancient Greek warriors.
I read about them in a book.
Spar-tans.
You know,
if a Spartan baby was born lame
or, you know, retardo,
mongoloid brain or something,
they just tossed that little
bastard right off a cliff, yeah.
'Cause they got
no use for weakness.
That's how we was brought up.
- Hm.
- You wouldn't happen to have
any soap by chance, would you?
Soap?
That's just what
I'm talking about, Joe.
Yeah. Now...
see, uh...
I don't mean to offend you,
but let's say
that you was born
a Spartan baby.
And I think, like... "Aaaahhh!"
You'd have got the cliff.
That's actually very offensive,
if you think about it, sir.
Do you even know where you are?
Well, somewhere in the Smokies.
Well, that somewhere
is about 180,000-plus acres
of rocks and trees
and dark danger, and, son,
you sure don't look like
you're no Daniel Boone.
You said your granddaddy
used to bring you
out here to these woods?
Oh, yes, sir.
Uh-huh. So you are familiar
with the woods,
but you're not too familiar?
Uh, I guess so.
And you got no idea
how you got here?
Uh... no.
Not really. It's...
It's all a little fuzzy.
I-I...
Take a look.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, I know that
when the sun sets about,
say, 20 minutes from now,
a storm front from the south
is gonna roll right in.
It's gonna open up,
and it's gonna rain
all kind of hell
on whatever is under it.
- So...
- So?
So since you don't know
where you are
or how you got here
or where you're going,
if I was you...
I'd stay put.
Now, you come here
looking for help.
This is the best
you're gonna get.
So it's up to you.
You know these woods?
Nobody knows these woods...
better than me.
Except maybe Rascal,
and he's, uh, well...
gone.
You stay the night, stay warm,
and you head out first thing
in the morning when it's safe.
And then I'll point you
in the right direction.
I ain't gonna hurt you.
You got my word on that.
Do I got yours?
Yes, sir.
Well, all right, then.
Are you sure I'm not imposing?
You ain't imposing.
Hell, if I'm being
completely honest...
I wouldn't mind the company.
Yeah.
I wouldn't mind having somebody
new to talk to for a change.
Well, all right, then.
Well, I'll stay here with you
as long as you're sure
it's no trouble.
None at all.
Thank you.
Well, don't mention it.
Coffee!
- Excuse me?
- I got coffee.
I could make us a cup.
Would you like that?
Yes, sure.
Well..
All right, then.
Yeah.
Hey, Joe.
I told you.
Ha!
You just be glad you ain't
no snake-oil drummer.
Phew!
So you really don't like 'em,
do you?
Salesmen? Hell no.
Huh!
Forking tongue.
Slippery little shits.
The lot of 'em.
- You can't trust them.
- Why not?
Well, you can't trust
a salesman ever.
'Cause if you ain't buying
what he's selling,
why, he ain't eating.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
They don't give a damn
about you or what you need.
They're just trying
to make their monthly. Yeah.
Trust me, I know about this,
yeah.
See, I had
the unfortunate experience
of dabbling in sales myself
when I was a younger man.
Oh. Really?
Oh, yes.
Well, what happened?
What do you mean?
Well, I mean, to not make you
like salesmen
or being a salesman.
Well, all I know
is that when I was younger,
I took a job as a salesman
just to try to make
some extra money.
See, back in those days,
it was tough to make ends meet,
and it wasn't uncommon for
fellas to hold down a few jobs.
And, well, in the beginning,
you know,
it wasn't too bad.
And I don't give a 2-cent shit
about what I was selling.
I just wanted the do-re-mi,
huh? Yeah.
But...
after a while,
it started to grate on me
a little, you know,
and, well, I quit
'cause I just got...
I got sick and tired
of deceiving people. Mm-hmm.
Sick and tired
of deceiving myself,
if you know what I mean.
I just got sick and tired
of feeling like every day
was just a waking nightmare,
going door to door,
selling people shit
that they did not need
and that they could not afford
just so that I could make my nut
and pay the bills
and keep the wife happy
so she wouldn't bust my ass
about not being able to buy
the new g*dd*mn toaster oven.
You don't wanna
really hear this now.
Do you?
- Um, you mentioned your wife.
- Mm.
Are you still married?
Shit.
Do I look like I'm married
to you?
What happened?
Sometimes the f*cking you get
ain't worth the f*cking
you receive.
That's enough about her, huh?
Yeah.
I could tell you a funny story
about a salesman if...
if you want to hear it.
Um, sure.
Okay.
Once upon a time
"Once upon a time."
One time a long time ago,
a fella come here.
He was a Bible salesman.
g*dd*mn Bible salesman.
Can you believe that shit?
I mean, what's a fella doing
hawking the Good Book out here
in the middle
of the Smoky Mountains?
I mean, to who?
Well, this fella's name was...
was, um... His name was...
Mm! Can't ever remember his name
for some reason,
but it don't really matter.
But, yeah, oh, boy, I sure do
remember his stupid, fat face.
I remember his shit-brown tie.
I remember
his leather briefcase.
And I remember I answered
the door,
and he sticks his arms
out wide kind of like this.
And he says...
Greetings
and salutations, brother!
What a glorious day it is,
indeed.
Tell me something, sir,
and, please,
I implore you
to be honest with me...
"Have you accepted
the Lord Jesus Christ
as your personal savior?
Because if you have not..."
I'd like to invite you
to join me today
- in his warm embrace.
- "In his warm embrace."
That's what he said. That's the
first words out of his mouth.
Then what?
Well, then I gave him
a warm embrace.
Oh.
Something tells me you didn't
buy a Bible, though, did you?
No, I did not, no.
What'd you do to him?
I invited him in,
just much like you, actually.
Oh? You threw a shotgun
in his face?
Oh, hell no.
I didn't have to do that.
No, I offered him some coffee
and some cake.
You have cake?
Joe...
this is where the story
gets real good.
Yeah. Hee hee.
So I invited him in.
I asked him to have a seat.
Right there.
Exactly where you're sitting
as a matter of fact.
I went into the kitchen.
Poured him a cup of coffee.
Brought him out a nice hunk
of carrot cake.
Yeah. See,
that was really for Rascal,
'cause that's his favorite,
but, well...
I gave it
to the fat man instead.
And then...
I took a seat.
Mm-hmm.
Right across from him.
Ain't it good?
Mmm. Very.
Now...
he was a very pious man,
this fella. Mm-hmm.
Real self-righteous type, too.
You know, a kind of fella who...
who follows all them rules
they got.
Thou shalt not take
the Lord's name in vain!
Thou shalt not covet
thy neighbor's wife!
Thou shalt not k*ll!
Blah! Blah!
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!
Yeah.
Anyway, he was
a strong believer in all that.
Yeah.
At least...
that's how he presented
himself to be.
I mean, he was also a salesman.
You follow?
So it was hard to tell whether
or not he was being genuine now.
I couldn't tell you why then,
and I cannot tell you why now.
But for some reason,
on that day...
I-I felt like
I had to find out
whether or not he was
a true believer.
Or was he just
completely full of shit?
How did you do that?
I asked him a few questions.
What'd you ask him?
I started like...
I said, "Sir..."
do you really believe
that God loves you?"
And he said...
Brother, I know God loves me.
Okay.
I said, "Well",
if God loves you so much,
how come he got you
selling Bibles out here
in the middle of f*cking nowhere
instead of living in a mansion
with a million dollars
and fancy women?"
And he says...
Brother, the Lord has a plan
for all of us.
I'm exactly where
he wants me to be...
Spreading his good word
to any and all who will listen
and accept his love.
So I says to him...
"So, you really believe that,
don't you,
that God put you right here,
right now,
"because that's where
he wants you to be?"
Yes, sir, I do.
I said, "Well..."
if that's true,
that must mean that God knows
you'd run into me.
Right? And he nodded.
Yeah.
And that's when I leaned in...
real close.
And I said, "Well..."
what if you come to find out
that I'm very...
very dangerous?
If you come to find that out...
well, it must mean
that God hates you.
Doesn't he?
Because he put you in my path.
"Didn't he?"
Oh, boy, I tell you.
Whoooo!
He went white.
Are you?
Am I what?
Dangerous?
What do you think?
I think you hurt him.
Hell no, I didn't hurt him.
You didn't?
No, I'm...
I scared a little.
Why?
I had to get my answer,
didn't I?
What answer?
Of whether he was
a true believer or not.
Was he?
If he wasn't...
I certainly put the fear
of God into him that day.
Yeah.
What'd you do to him?
Oh.
You don't really want
to hear that, do you?
Tell me.
Well...
Well...
When I was in the kitchen
getting him something to eat
and drink, I, uh...
well, I slipped a little
something-something
into his coffee
that made him kind of sleepy.
- You poisoned him!
- Now, don't get riled up, Joe.
I didn't poison him. That sounds
kind of sinister.
No. I drugged him.
- You drugged him?
- Yes, I did.
- With what?
- Uh...
Well, I don't actually remember,
but it must be here somewhere.
What's the difference
between poisoning and drugging?
I don't know. One is sinister,
and the other ain't.
- All right?!
- All right.
So... So you drugged him.
Well, just a little bit.
I mean, I had to make certain
that he was not a psycho k*ller.
You know the drill.
You know that I get suspicious.
I told you that already.
Then what?
Well, I ain't too proud
of what I did after that.
What did you do?
Well...
Well, you know, after
he... nodded off, I
Well, hell, Joe,
I tied him to the stove.
You tied him on the stove?!
On the... No, that would be
cruel and crazy.
No, I tied him to the stove.
Well, was it hot?
Of course it was hot.
You tied him to the front
of a burning stove?
Mm. And then I took
that shit-brown necktie
he was wearing, and I tied that
around his eyes
like a blindfold.
That's the part
I'm not too proud of.
That's the part you're
not too proud of?
Yeah.
Using his tie as a blindfold?
Well, what about drugging him
or tying him to a burning stove?
Oh, please.
It wasn't that bad.
It was just
for a couple of hours.
- A few hours?
- Yep.
Why?
I didn't trust him.
I wanted to ask him
some questions,
and I wanted him to be honest.
And when you're scared,
you're honest. So I scared him.
Aah!
And, uh, after that, he got...
- What?
- Well...
Well, actually, he got
kind of entertaining.
What do you mean?
Well, he, um...
I don't know.
Maybe it was being
so close to that heat
for quite a while, I guess,
and...
But, anyway, when he come to,
he just... ka-boom... started
hallucinating or something.
He started talking
in all kind of gibberish.
Like
Like he's talking in tongues
or something like that.
But then he proceeded
to start praying
and talking to the Virgin Mary.
Talking to the mother of God.
- You know? Ooh!
- What did he say?
He just kept repeating the same
thing over and over again...
"Holy Mary, mother of God,
pray for us sinners.
Holy Mary, mother of God,
pray for us sinners."
Holy Mary, mother of God,
pray for us sinners.
"Holy Mary, mother
of God, pray for us sinners,"
now and at the hour
of our death.
"Now and
at the hour of our death."
"Pray for us sinners!
Pray for us! And pray for us!"
On and on and on.
Finally it stopped.
It was quiet.
His head droops.
So I poke him.
He wakes right up,
pops right up.
"Holy Mother Mary of God,
pray for us sinners!"
Holy Mary!
Mother of God!
"Pray for us sinners!"
Pray for us sinners!
"Holy Mother Mary of God,
pray for us..."
Now and at the hour
- of our death!
- "Pray for us!"
Pray for us!"
- "Pray for us."
- Pray for us sinners!
- "Pray for us."
- Pray for us.
Oh!
Ho ho!
I'll tell you, Joe, one of
the damnedest things I ever saw.
I don't mean to sound rude,
and, uh...
well, maybe I missed something,
but why exactly did you
do that to him again?
I mean, minus the fact that you
found it mildly entertaining.
Because anyone selling God
is the ultimate pro,
and anyone buying him
is the ultimate sucker.
And only a prideful,
arrogant son of a b*tch
would think that in a world
this big and shitty,
with all the pain and suffering
that people endure,
that there's some old man
sitting up there
somewhere in a cloud
who gives a rat's ass
about any one of us
down here. Unh-unh.
There ain't. And if there was
and he did, that was then,
this is now,
and he is long gone.
Well, what happened
to the salesman?
Oh. Him?
Yeah. Him.
I cut him loose.
Mm-hmm.
I pointed him
in the right direction,
- and I sent him on his way.
- That's all?
Well, I did tell him if
he were to come out here again,
he wouldn't be leaving.
Yeah, I'm certain
he believed me.
I ain't never seen him since.
Wow.
- More coffee?
- No!
Uh, I-I mean no, thank you.
I'm good.
Sheep dip?
Excuse me?
Hooch.
Shine.
Stump liquor.
Alcohol!
Joe, you want some alcohol?
No. No, thank you.
I'm... I'm good.
I think I'll avoid all liquids,
if that's okay with you.
Oh, why?
You think I'm gonna drug you
or something?
Well, excuse me
if I'm a little skeptical
after this story I just heard.
Relax, Joe.
I ain't gonna drug you.
It was a long time ago
that fellow was out here.
Besides, I'm pretty sure
I ain't got any of that...
Ain't got none left.
No, I run out
of my sleepy time elixir.
Anyway, I told you
I wasn't gonna hurt you.
You remember what I said
about a man keeping his word,
never breaking it for nothing?
You remember that, don't you?
- Yes, sir.
- I meant it.
I ain't gonna hurt you, Joe.
Now have a drink with me.
I insist.
All right, then.
Now you're talking!
Yeah.
Okay.
Let's dig out a jar or two.
Why don't you go have a seat?
Yes, sir.
Yeah. Yeah.
You ever try it?
Moonshine?
I call this batch "The Mule."
You know why?
Because it has a kick?
Bingo.
Here. Pick your poison.
What's it taste like?
Gasoline.
- And you like that?
- Psh!
It's why I make it.
I love it, Joe.
It's mother's milk to me.
What should we drink to?
Oh, um, I know.
To all that death...
and beauty.
I told you.
- Whew!
- You weren't kidding.
Got a kick, don't it?
When I have a little bit
of The Mule,
I like to have a smoke.
When I have a smoke,
I like to put on
my smoking robe. Yeah.
Yeah.
You care for one?
Oh, no, thank you.
I don't smoke.
Oh, okay. You don't smoke,
and you don't chew,
and you don't go
with gals who do, huh?
Ha ha!
I just know
I don't like smoking.
But, I mean, please feel free.
Oh, I see. So you're...
you're giving me permission
to smoke in my own home?
Is that what's happening?
No, I didn't mean it to...
Relax, Joe.
I'm just...
I'm just fooling with you.
Tell me something.
Where you from?
You mean like originally?
Yeah.
Well, originally,
I'm from a small town
on the Ohio River
called New Albany.
It's in southern Indiana,
right across from Louisville.
But we moved to Chattanooga
when I was 8 years old,
and I've been in Tennessee
ever since.
That's where you live now...
Chattanooga?
No, sir. My wife and I moved
to Knoxville a few years back.
What's her name?
Your wife?
Eugenia,
but everyone calls her Genie.
Genie. Hm.
And what does she do?
She bake cakes?
No, she's a schoolteacher.
Second grade.
We moved to Knoxville
a few years ago
because I got a job working
for her family's moving company,
and she got a job at a primary
school out there, so...
So the summary of your life
up to this point
is that you're from New Albany,
you grew up in Chattanooga,
you met a girl, you got married,
you moved to Knoxville,
and now you work for her family.
That about the long and short
of it?
Yeah.
Wow.
What?
Oh, it's nothing.
You just...
You just boiled my entire life
down to one sentence.
Oh, don't feel bad about that,
Joe.
It's the same for most people,
if you think about it.
Can I ask you something?
Sure.
You ever get the feeling
like sometimes life
is conspiring against you?
Conspiring?
What do you mean?
Well, like it's working
against you.
To hurt you.
To break you in some way.
Yeah.
Maybe sometimes.
I've been feeling that way
a lot lately.
Like there's something
much larger than me out there
trying to smother me,
trying to extinguish me
in some way.
And no matter what I do
or how hard I try,
I just can't seem to make it go
away or let up a little.
I think...
I think everybody feels
that way from time to time.
Do they?
Absolutely.
Well, maybe you're right.
I just never felt
that way before.
Well, tell me, how...
Just how is it that you do feel?
It feels a little like
I'm standing in wet cement,
you know, and my eyes are open,
and I'm looking everywhere.
Only there's nothing else
around me.
There's just this nothingness,
this void.
And I can feel the cement
hardening and tightening
around my ankles and getting
heavier and heavier
until finally it sets,
and I can't move.
My eyes are open,
and I'm looking everywhere,
but there's nothing to see.
And then this slow suffocation
starts at my feet
and moves up my legs
and the back of my spine
until it settles
at the back of my throat
and cuts all the air off.
So it's like I'm paralyzed,
choking, and blind,
and I can't do
anything about it.
And the whole time, I'm wide
awake while it's happening.
That's what it feels like.
Shit, man.
Sounds f*cking awful.
I mean, it sounds...
It sounds pretty heavy.
It is heavy.
All of it.
My whole life...
I mean, my whole life,
I've done everything right.
I went to school.
I made good marks.
I never got in trouble.
Always had a job.
I never disrespected anybody.
I never broke the rules.
"Yes, sir," "No, sir"... Always.
I did everything
I was told to do.
Everything I was supposed to do.
Still, I feel this weight.
I feel like it's been
crushing me lately.
Oh.
What's that?
Uh, we need a fire.
Oh.
Well, it's...
let up a little anyway.
Well, we'll...
We'll put you to work, huh?
Yeah, it's not that bad out,
but grab about
half a dozen of those.
Attaboy. Yeah. Be quick.
Hey, what about your wife?
My wife?
Well, what about her?
Well, have you...
Have you talked to her?
Tell her about how you feel?
Not really.
Why not?
She... She's been
a little... distant lately.
Oh.
She been off somewhere?
No.
Oh, distant like...
like distance.
Yeah, I get it.
Yeah, they can...
They sure can get that way
from time to time. Yeah.
Heh. My g*dd*mn wife,
man, she can go weeks sometimes
without saying a single word
to me
on account of she's mad
about one thing or other,
but personally, I never mind it
'cause I kind of like
the peace and quiet.
Still...
yeah, you might want
to tell her,
you know,
about what you're feeling.
Who knows?
Maybe she can help.
Just set them down.
I don't think so.
Well, why not?
Well...
we've... we've been having
some issues lately.
What kind of issues?
You sure you don't mind me
talking to you about this?
Keep going.
Well, me and
my wife, Genie, you know,
we've known each other
since we were kids.
You know, we grew up together,
went to school together
in Chattanooga.
But sometimes I feel like
we come from different places,
mainly because
she grew up with money
- and I grew up with nothing.
- Oh.
Blue-blood snoot.
And then there's
this other issue.
What other issue?
Well, it's kind of embarrassing.
Look, I ain't gonna judge you,
Joe.
And then...
well, we've been having a hard
time trying to have a baby.
Ah.
And it's caused some problems.
sh**ting blanks, are you?
No.
It... It's not me, okay?
I'm not the one
with the problem.
Okay, Joe. I'm just standing
here, listening. That's all.
It's just, she thinks it's me,
but it's not.
I mean,
she's convinced I'm the problem.
So she's been seeing some...
Some what?
Well, it...
It doesn't matter.
Yeah, but...
I want to hear...
hear some more.
Oh.
Tell me, though.
Your wife.
Well, what's she like?
She has
the most beautiful red hair.
And these eyes.
You could get lost in them.
Well, does she appreciate you?
Well, I mean,
she thinks I could do more
with my life, that's for sure.
Yeah.
You told me... You said earlier
that you're a working man,
right?
- Yes, sir.
- Ah.
And what is it that you do?
I drive a truck for my
father-in-law's moving company
and a couple of other odd jobs
here and there
- to make ends meet.
- Well, all right.
Yeah. Whew.
You're getting paid. Yeah.
You're making money.
I mean, you're not one of those
freeloading sons of b*tches
collecting checks from the
government every month, are you?
No, sir.
No.
There.
Yeah, well... ha ha...
That's good.
You can be proud.
Yeah. Look, Joe,
you got to look
for the silver lining.
You got to find
that silver lining
in pretty much, well...
in everything. Yeah.
She don't appreciate
a man provides... phft...
That's on her.
I guess so.
Shit, I know so.
My wife is ungrateful six ways
to Sunday, let me tell you.
But, then again, they all are
in their own way.
You know, women.
Women.
Ooh, they make a man do all sort
of stupid through his lifetime.
Drive you to the brink
of insanity. Yeah.
If you don't mind me asking,
well, what happened with you
and your wife?
You know, I mean,
well, why did it end?
It ended 'cause
she finally figured it out.
Figured what out?
How to really hurt a man.
Hey, Joe, I know
I asked you this already,
but you really don't remember
how you come to be here?
Not really.
You tried retracing your steps?
No.
Well, going back,
start at the beginning.
Mm... beginning?
Well, yeah,
that's what I would do.
Well, I came
by way of Knoxville,
and I drove into Elkmont
because I wanted to take a hike
along the Little River.
I told you I used to fly-fish it
when I was a boy.
It's always been
one of my favorite places.
I mean, the truth is, I hadn't
been in these woods in decades.
How come
you come out here today?
Well, like I said, I've been...
dealing with some issues lately,
so I guess I thought
that coming back to a place
that I had fond memories of,
of where I'd been happy
at one point,
is where I needed
to be to get my mind right.
So I got off work and drove
an hour south to Elkmont,
and I took the trail,
and I started walking.
Oh, but then I...
What?
Well, when I got
to Burnt Mountain, I...
I heard something.
What did you hear?
You're gonna think I'm crazy.
What did you hear?
Well, it was... It was...
- Well, it was like a moan.
- A moan.
Yes. Like deep breaths
I could feel building
inside my head.
Only... Only they were coming
from somewhere else.
So I started walking
towards them,
and, well, then that took me
off the trail I was on.
And as I got deeper
and deeper into the woods,
this moan just got
louder and louder.
So I ran.
I ran as fast and as far
as I could until...
I mean, everything just went...
Black.
Black.
I must have passed out
or something
because when I came to,
it was too late.
I mean, I got all turned around.
I didn't know where I was,
and I couldn't find my way back.
So I started walking again.
And I came across
this waterfall.
And I came upon a clearing.
And that's when I found
your cabin
and the smoke
coming from the chimney.
Well...
that is...
interesting, Joe.
That is
very, very, very interesting.
Why?
Hm.
Okay. Words.
Words, words.
Always the same g*dd*mn words.
There.
Sit there.
What are you talking about?
Well...
a long, long time ago,
the Cherokee people,
the Indians,
they lived in these lands,
and they had a story
about the purple lake.
The purple lake?
This lake was hidden
deep in the Smokies.
And they looked for it,
but they could never find it.
But they wanted to find it
'cause they said
that it had special powers.
And the only ones
who knew how to find the lake
were the animals.
And the animals
knew how to find the lake,
but they weren't telling nobody
because they wanted to keep it
a secret,
because I guess
if they got ever hurt
or injured or sick,
all they had to do was drink the
water, and they would be healed.
Well, then I found it...
Huh.
And I got hurt.
Not, like, so much physical,
like a busted rib
or a broken leg or anything,
but more something
you can't see.
I was damaged, I guess.
So, anyway, I thought I would
come out to these mountains
like when I was a boy.
And if I could find that lake
and maybe take a drink,
then I would be healed, too.
But I couldn't find it.
Searched all over
these mountains.
And then, one day,
just out of the blue,
I heard...
The moan.
Yeah.
I followed it.
Then I run from it.
I didn't know what to do.
But it got louder and louder
inside of my head.
It...
I just backtracked.
Then when I woke up...
you know what I saw?
Her.
She was looking at me
with death in her eyes.
And I didn't want to die.
And she has a choke on me,
and I thought I'd fight.
And there was
a jagged, sharp rock by my feet,
and I bent down,
and I picked up that stone.
Me and her
were eyeball to eyeball.
She pounced on me,
and I brought my arm down,
and I jammed that rock
right into her neck.
She took me down.
And we were sprawled out
together.
And there was blood everywhere,
man.
Blood all over me.
And I watched as the light
went out of those eyes.
And the moan stopped.
And you've been out here
ever since?
Yep.
All alone.
Alone? No.
No, I got... I got the Rascal.
If I'm honest, it's the Rascal
that keeps me alive.
He's a treacherous little shit.
But he's all I got.
You got me now, too.
Oh.
Hold on there.
Be careful.
I might start to like you, Joe.
Well, we wouldn't want that,
now, would we?
I don't know.
Why don't you...
throw a little more kindling
into that stove? And...
I'll see if I can find us
something to eat.
I got some canned goods
back here.
- That sound all right?
- Yes, sir.
You're a good man.
Sheesh.
- You all right, Joe?
- Yes, sir.
I was just thinking
about my wife, is all.
Oh.
What about her?
I wasn't being
completely honest with you.
Oh.
Well, how's that?
We got into a pretty bad fight
before I came out here.
That'll pass.
Usually does.
She'll come around.
I don't know about that.
It didn't end well.
I wouldn't
worry about it if I was you.
There's only so much
a fella can do
in a fight with his lady.
Yeah, women.
Can't live with them.
Sure can't k*ll them.
Hey, Joe.
Sure hope you like
peas and rice.
Oh! Oh.
Yeah.
You've been telling stories.
Where's Joe?
- Who?
- Joe.
Where is he?
You're losing your mind,
old man.
Ain't nobody been here
but you and me.
But you were gone.
Hmm.
I had to find us food, didn't I?
But what... what happened
to Joe?
Words, words, words.
It's always the same
g*dd*mn words with you.
Why don't you take
a seat over there?
You know, you seem
a little confused.
- But...
- Sit down!
No, no! No, no.
Not till you tell me
what you did to Joe.
'Cause I know you did something.
Now you tell me.
Yeah.
I ain't telling you nothing!
Oh. Oh. Oh.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Jesus f*cking Christ.
I'm... scared.
You're pathetic.
You know that?
You tell me.
You tell me what you did,
or so help me. I swear.
- You'll what?
- I'll... I'll... I'll...
- You'll sh**t me?
- Don't make me do it.
You ain't gonna do nothing,
and you know it.
I will. I'll sh**t.
Well, then I'll tell you what.
Why don't I help you?
All you got to do
is pull the trigger.
- Oh, please. Let this go.
- Do it.
Don't make me.
- Do it, God damn it!
- Aah! Aah!
The same every time with you.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, you've been sorry
your whole life. You know that.
I just want to know
what happened to him.
What'd he look like,
this Joe fella?
A little like you.
A little like me maybe.
We go through this every time,
you and me,
and it's the same g*dd*mn story.
He was... He was...
He was walking in the woods,
and then he saw...
Smoke coming from the chimney.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Yeah, I know.
And it's always
the same g*dd*mn words with you.
Rascal, I am scared.
You're pathetic.
Mm.
And you're weak.
It's no wonder she left you.
Who left?
Your wife.
M-My wife.
You failed her
in every way, didn't you?
Did I?
You never had enough.
Always tried to please her.
Shit, you worked for her daddy.
You even started selling Bibles
with her best friend
to try to make ends meet.
But it wasn't you
who made her happy, was it?
It was you who got lost
in the woods
that day after you did
what you did.
I didn't do nothing.
Yes, you did.
And I'm getting real tired
of having to remind you
again and again.
All right, you tell me...
You tell me what happened.
Why should I?
'Cause I want to know.
You're sure?
Please, Rascal.
Oh!
You found it.
You found the purple lake.
Hell, Old Man.
Huh?
I'm the only one
who knows where it is.
Drink it.
It ain't gonna hurt me, is it?
Mm, it's gonna heal you.
Now drink it.
Get in.
What's in there?
Get in!
Just tell me what's down there.
The next world.
Ah.
Oh.
Hey.
Oh, no.
I don't want to do this.
No more.
I want it...
to stop.
Please.
Oh! No!
Please.
Please forgive me.
Please.
"Holy Mary, mother of God."
Pray for us sinners.
"Now and at the hour
of our death."
Forgive me.
It don't work that way...
Joe.
Please.
No.
Coward.
Coward.
All that death...
And?
And beauty.
You're looking tired, old man.
Beauty and death.
You need to rest now.
Okay.
I'll come back later.
I always do.
Oh!
Rascal?
Is that you?
Fall
Into me
Walk with me
All I need
The water, water flowing
Over me
Take me
With you
I am the sound
when the wind blows
I'll keep coming 'round
until you know
Sink down, oh, so low
Winds will return
All our steps go 'round
and 'round and 'round
No matter what you try,
you can't go out of your mind
Looking through those eyes
all the time
I am the sound
when the wind blows
I'll keep coming 'round
until you know
I am the sound
when the wind blows
I'll keep coming 'round
until you know
I am the sound
when the wind blows
Winds will return
I'll keep coming 'round
until you know
I am the sound
when the wind blows
Winds will return
I'll keep coming 'round
until you know
No matter what you try, you
can't go out of your mind
Return
All our steps go 'round
and 'round and 'round
I am the sound
when the wind blows
Return
I'll keep coming 'round
until you know
All the signs of real life
A light at last
True love for a stretch
of time
Growing so alive
All the time, it's leaving
All the time
Love unknown
Laid all inside
Half a heart
In the back of the water
Old Man (2022)
Moderator: Maskath3