01x07 - A Very Funny Monster

[bunniefuu]

[grunting]

Here we have it.

Here we go.

[grunting]

Here.

It's a... girl.

Let me see my baby.

[gasps]

She has many... irregularities,
among which it seems her lungs

are mostly outside of her body.

I don't know how long
we can keep her alive.

I can't believe this is happening.

Dr. Mazursky, this is beyond me.

But you're one of the world's
foremost scientists.

Maybe you can develop a way
to keep her alive.

Nina. Her name is Nina.

[crying]

[theme music playing]

[Frankenstein] By her very name
she belongs to me.

Don't you think?

The bride, her skin
shimmering, parched, cerulean.

Her irises like two dollops

of a virgin's blood,
her lips carved from

the cushiony intestines of a fetal pig.

Once I stop her from making
this massive blunder,

murdering the princess,
an innocent like herself

and the beloved of my dearest
friend, Richard Flag,

I call him Rick.

She will doubtlessly fall into my arms.

And our heretofore
screwball romantic comedy

will become pornography.

But the tender, soft focus kind
you know, made for chicks.

How long till we arrive
at the castle, eh?

Not long.

[speaking Russian]

[snarling]

[speaking Russian]

[screams]

Still up to your old tricks,
my inamorata.

Jesus! What did he ever do to you?

You saw the hat, right?

Why are we doing this again?

- You know why.
- [Nina] What if we're wrong?

What if we're k*lling
all of these people?

What if we k*ll the princess
for no reason?

Then... c'est la vie?

There are billions
of humans in the world.

Who will notice
a few less, right, Weas?

[snarls]

See? He doesn't care.

He doesn't even know
what you're saying.

Nina, Waller believes the
princess is gonna bring about

the end of the world as we know it.

She believes her source is credible.

Isn't any risk worth stopping that?

I don't know, I guess?
What are you doing?

Trying to find a path into the castle

that isn't swimming with guards.

[Phosphorus] These are the
feeds from the past few days.

Maybe they'll show us another way in.

What the hell is that?

Two days ago.

Seems like we're not the princess'

only monstrous visitors.

My love, the princess...

[screams]

Paramour of yours?

Oh, can it, Ghost Rider.

We better get out of here in
case somebody heard the sh*ts.

Let's head to the wall
at the back of the garden.

That seems to be the least protected.

[gasping]

Rick Flag.

Save it for hell, you stalker
piece of shit.

[spits]

[groaning]

[hissing]

Donkey.

[chuckling] No, silly.

That's a caterpillar.

[chuckles softly]

[crying]

- Lily...
- No, that is not a life.

- What?
- That. She's...

Happy, Lily. She's having fun.

Today. What about tomorrow?

When she starts crying because
she's outgrowing that machine

and it's digging into her body?

Then I'll build her a new one.

And a new one and a new one after that.

It weighs as much as she does.

- She's strong.
- We made a terrible mistake.

We could have
taken her off those machines.

- Don't day that.
- She wouldn't have to...

- Don't say that.
- We still could...

No, Lily, no. She's our baby girl.

- She's yours.
- Lily!

- She doesn't even look at me.
- Because you don't look at her.

Don't you dare.

She can feel these things.
She's an intuitive child.

Yes, fine.

So then maybe it's best if I...

What?

I love you, Edward.

But you're torturing us both.

All three of us.

Lily, please.

I'm gonna stay
with my mother for a while.

[sighs]

[gurgling]

There, right on
the other side of the wall

is where there are the fewest guards.

[man grunts]

Here.

This may take a while.

[gasping]

We're almost to the park, Nina.

Don't worry, honey.

I have a new treatment we're gonna try.

And that means

you won't have to wear
this machine any longer.

Yes, there are risks
involved, certainly.

But if it pays off, poor sweet
Nina won't need to lug

around an extra thirty pounds
of metal to stay alive.

We're transforming her very DNA

to help her breathe
despite the fluid in her lungs.

[beeping]

[alarm beeping]

Doctor!

What's happening?

[Edward] No, no. Get her out of this.

Dr. Mazursky!

Doctor, you're gonna down her!

Get away!

[gasping]

[gasps]

Daddy?

[speaking Russian]

Uh... [sighs]

[chuckles]

[whimpering]

No!

What's he doing?

He's excited to see her.

Remember, she played fetch
with him for, like, hours.

- Oh, God.
- Should we put him down?

- [both] No!
- Geez, calm down.

Just brainstorming.

Shh. Be good, weasel.

Be good.

[bell rings]

And she always has to wear that?

My primary work, you may know,
is in bio genetics.

I'm well aware and profoundly
appreciative of your work,

Dr. Mazursky.

I know how the rice
you genetically engineered

has helped feed nations.

Yes, well, Nina, from birth,
had issues with her lungs.

She wasn't able to breathe properly.

So I tried to infuse her biology

with elements of aquatic animals

thinking that would... well,
she's no longer in pain.

But she can only breathe underwater.

Oh.

[Edward] She's been home schooled.

She speaks four languages

and is well versed
in Shakespeare and calculus.

But I thought she might be better off

attending school with other children

for socialization purposes.

I mean, honestly, she's only known me.

Well, being as she's
your child, doctor,

we would, of course,

love to welcome Nina
into Emberton Prep.

Wonderful! Tell Principal Gale
thank you, Nina.

Thank you, Principal Gale.

You're welcome.

Now, do you have
any questions for me, Nina?

About our school?

How do you play that game?

[grunts]

[laughs cunningly]

f*cking frog.

[all laughing]

Say ribbit, b*tch!

- Say ribbit.
- Ribbit, ribbit!

What does that mean in your language?

I said, say ribbit, b*tch.

Ribbit.

[laughs wickedly]

[groans softly]

Flag. Flag, you awake?

What happened?

You... you...

...were wrong.

What?

k*lling Ilana, you were wrong.

How so?

- What...?
- Mac. Listen... It wasn't.

- Mac...
- Flag.

Damn it!

John, do you have the address
for Professor McPherson?

[croaks]

- [whimpers]
- Weasel!

How the heck are we
going to get to the princess

with all these guards?

What?

- [gasps]
- [frog croaks]

[all laughing]

♪ I remember the day
when I cried out for him ♪

♪ No one came running ♪

Nina!

Kid, I'm home.

Where are you?

[gasps]

[Nina reading] Dear Daddy,

I love you more than
anything in the world,

and I am so grateful for
everything you've done for me.

But I do not belong,

nor have I ever in the world of humans.

[shouting] Nina!

♪ He shrugged his shoulders and wept ♪

[Nina reading] I want to be free

and I want to free you
of the burden that I know I am.

And I've always been.
I love you, Daddy.

You could not have
been a better father.

[exclaims]

All my love, Nina.

- I said what?
- It needs to be you, Nina.

- Me?
- Yes, you.

You need to k*ll the princess.

I need to k*ll the princess?

The only way to get to her
is under the water.

No f*cking way. Uh-uh.

[whimpering]

Fruit fruit, Sit. Shut up.

The Bride is right.
Wait until she dips under.

- Then do it.
- Do what?

s*ab her.

- s*ab her?
- Yep.

Then come straight back,

we'll go out the way we came in.

No, no. I don't know
how to k*ll someone.

You shove the blade into
her belly and twist.

The water is yours.

Home field advantage.

She won't even see you coming.

- Bride, I don't...
- You hear Waller!

k*lling her is the only way
to save the world.

At the end of the day, Nina,

that's just another human
out there in the pond.

But you're a monster like us.

You said I wasn't a monster.

I was lying 'cause I'm a b*tch.

You're the biggest freak of us all.

[gasps]

I know you can do it, kid.

Did I sound like I gave a shit?

[camera shutter clicking]

Huh?

[camera flashing]

For three years, all of us in Star City

have heard reports of a "Sea Creature"

living in our sewers
and water supplies.

And tonight, we have what
some people are calling proof,

and others are calling
an elaborate hoax.

This photo was taken
by a local photographer

who claimed to be out
searching for night birds.

Nina.

[news anchor] Star City Metropolitan

has brought in animal control experts

from Metropolis and Bludhaven

to help track down
and capture the beast.

[straining]

[camera shutter clicking]

[Nina crying]

[Edward] Nina!

Stop! Let her go!

She can't breathe air. [grunts]

Sir, step back.

Let her go!

Sir, put your hands in the air.

Nina, you were never a burden.

[officer] Step back, now!

You were the greatest gift.

[g*nsh*t]

[gasps]

[choking]

[muffled screaming]

[man breathing heavily]

- What's up?
- I don't know.

Flag said McPherson is not
McPherson, passed out again.

But Professor McPherson,

she's the whole reason
we believe Circe.

I know, John.

If Circe isn't telling
the truth, we're starting a w*r

with... for no reason.

I know, John.

Oh, my God, I'm out of shape.

Clayface.

He's a... [sighs] He's a shapeshifter.

[sniffs] Oh, no.

[retching]

[Waller] Oh, no.

We've been set up by that damn witch.

We need to stop them
from k*lling the princess, now.

Sergei, Amanda Waller
is on the phone for you.

♪ People are strange
when you're a stranger ♪

♪ Faces look ugly ♪

Weasel! Shut up!

♪ Women seem wicked
when you're unwanted ♪

♪ Streets uneven when you're down ♪

♪ When you're strange,
faces come out of the rain ♪

♪ When you're strange ♪

No.

♪ When you're strange ♪

♪ Come on, now ♪

You stupid brat!

[screams]

[screams]

♪ When you're strange ♪

♪ When you're strange ♪

♪ When you're strange ♪

No!

[mechanical clocking]

- Son of a...
- [Sergei] Halt!

It is for you.

No.

[Waller] We made a mistake.

[gasping]

You are a great hero.

You save the princess.

We will build monument in your honor.

He gets the fish girl k*lled,

tears apart my arm and somehow
he's the freaking hero?

You want the knights
to pet you, Phosphorus?

Well... yes.

If their hands
wouldn't burn off, maybe.

You know what it's like
not being touched for 15 years.

Yeah, I do.

Where are you going?

I'll be back.

I understand why you did what you did.

Yeah?

You thought you were saving the world.

And you are following orders.
I understand.

I do not hold it against you.

That Sorceress Circe,
tried to frame me.

Who knows why?

Jealousy, perhaps.
She's probably the one

who truly wants to destroy
the world, don't you think?

No.

Excuse me?

No, I don't think Circe
wants to destroy the world.

I think she was telling
the truth about you.

[chuckles]

Ah.

You're funny.

A very funny monster.

What do you think you are saying to me?

I saw Clayface on the tapes.

What the hell is that?

First, you seduced Flag
to get him on your side.

Then after we captured Circe,
you suggested we k*ll her.

That would have
taken care of everything.

But Flag, despite him being an old rube

hung up on your charms, refused.

So you sent one of your knights
to spy on us.

He must have seen
McPherson visit Waller.

Someone you'd know
would back up Circe's story.

So your only choice was
to get your friend, Clayface,

to make it look like
she wasn't who she was.

Even though she was who she was
when she and Waller spoke.

- This is all nonsense.
- Malarkey.

You were who Circe said
you were all along.

A power mad, sadistic, narcissistic,

Disney princess
who wants to destroy the world.

But I want you to know
I'm not going to k*ll you

because you're going
to cause World w*r 3.

And I'm not doing it to save the world.

After all, what has this
ball of dirt ever done for me?

No. Ilana, I'm k*lling you
because you took the life

of the only friend I have.

And the only one of us with an
ounce of kindness in her veins.

[g*nsh*t]

Let's go, best make it fast.

Make nice, you two.

I need to ask you some
questions before you go.

[grunts]

[snarls]

Damn! All it took
was some hottie princess

to turn Flag into a complete moron.

Dudes, am I right?

Sure, John.

Anyway, I know Waller has
a reputation as a hard ass,

but she knows how to express
gratitude when it's deserved.

And you really saved the day.

So we converted one
of the abandoned wings

for you and your team.

My team?

[exclaiming]

GI Robot, reporting for service, Ma'am.

[laughing]

You get dumb haircut.

[laughing]

Well, you in?

What else I gotta do?

When you think about it,
if she didn't love me,

why would she overreact
as much as she did?

Right?

Now I'm only more sure
of the connection we have.

- What kind of soup is this?
- Sparrow dropping soup.

Well, it tastes disgusting.

Yes.

[slurping]