Standing on the Shoulders of Kitties (2024)

Musicals/Concerts Movie Collection.

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Standing on the Shoulders of Kitties (2024)

Post by bunniefuu »

[crowd] Bubbles!

[Bubbles] Thank you.

Alright, that was a song called

"Who Shit In The Saddlebags?"

an old Roy Rogers classic.

It's on an album of mine

called "Fur Biscuits".

It's not out yet but,

hopefully at some point.

Alright, how's everybody

doin' out there now?

Yessir, we all ready

to keep rockin'?

Okay, this next song's about

an old guy named Skooker B.

Some of ya might remember him.

He lived in the

trailer park years ago,

and he got drunk and

drove through a church

and k*lled a bunch of people.

Anyway, this is,

this is called "Drinkin

With The Angels".

No, wrong beat.

Just wait. Here we go.

Ol' Skooker B

He never knew me

But he was a legend

Of the liquor...

He would put a pint away

Just to start his day

To hit the real thing

And now he's drinkin'

With the angels

On the wings of a dove

He's drinkin'

With the angels

Up in heaven above

Play that one by Hank

Williams that I like,

will ya Bubbles?

Look, ya gotta promise

not to curse out your

ex-husband again, Gladys.

I won't mention the

son of a whore's name.

Alright, fair enough!

This is a little

"Your Cheatin'

Heart" for you folks.

Sorry g*ng, that's it.

Time for supper.

Okay, well, I guess

that's it for me then.

Thanks for coming

down, everybody!

We'll see ya next

week, the same time.

I don't wanna hear any

of your excuses, Charlie.

If that turkey had

not been as dry

as the g*dd*mn Sahara desert,

then Vera wouldn't

have started choking.

End of story.

Excuse me Miss Chisolm,

sorry to interrupt,

I was wondering if I could

get my wages for the week?

Right here, Bubbles.

Oh, oh, hot turkey!

Decent!

Here. I got this

guy back for ya,

clean as a [whistles]

Oh, how's the old fork

antenna I geared up hangin'?

Ah, good. Yeah, it's good.

And how were they today?

Oh, they were

fantastic as usual.

I mean, pretty sure

Harold mighta had a

front accident

when he dozed off,

but before that he was up

dancin' like Fred Astaire.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

Harold should not be up dancing,

he just started a new

heart medication. Jesus.

Oh, I didn't know that.

I'm sorry.

Listen, I've been

meaning to ask ya...

putting a band together

and I was thinkin' maybe

I could bring them in here

to play with me.

You know, I wouldn't charge

ya extra or anything.

What a-a-a band?

Like with drums 'n things?

Oh yeah, but the drummer could

use the brush... swishies.

Oh, I don't think that's

a good idea, Bubbles.

No, no, no, no.

It sounds loud and disruptive.

Yeah, okay, I just thought-

No, no, no.

I'm sorry, Bubbles.

No, it's okay. It's fine.

What's the name of this band?

Ol' Skooker B

He never knew me

Who's a good boy?

But he was a legend

Of the liquor...

He would put a pint away

Just to start his day

To hit the real thing...

Workin' at the mine

Liquored up by nine

[Bubbles] Snip, snip,

snippy dippy doo.

He would sucker

Punch his boss

Get back on the Sauce

by early evenin'

And now he's drinkin'

With the angels

On the wings of a dove

A hundred bucks?!

I'm gonna be entering that!

Up in heaven above

[Bubbles] Look at

that sparkly bastard!

Where she could hide

A pint of fancy liquor

She would sneak

Into the dance

Oooh! Oooh!

God! What have you done?

I was just standin'

here doin' nothing

and it dropped and it

hit me right in the arm.

Oh my God! Sir, I am so sorry.

Feels like a fracture.

Why aren't you helping him?

Hit me right there.

I'm so sorry, sir.

No, it's fine. I

mean, I was just,

I was gonna get an

electric tambourine

and now I might have

to go to the hospital.

Oh my God. Oh my God.

I'm so sorry. Oh my God.

[man] I was working.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry, sir!

No, it's fine.

I'll just go to

the, the hospital.

Takin' this sign.

Song contest.

Oh my God!

This is insane!

[Ricky] Ah, you tubey

little meat sluts!

Where the f*ck did ya go?!

Taint gobblin'

f*ckin' meat whores!

You burn up like Freddy

Krueger's cock! f*ck!

Holy f*ck, Ricky!

What happened?!

I was f*ckin' cooking sausages

for Moe and his friends,

and I must've

f*ckin' passed out.

- Jesus Murphy.

- No, no, no, no.

What the f*ck are

they doing here?!

They weren't supposed to be back

here for six f*ckin' months!

- Ricky! Ricky! f*ckin' calm down.

- My ears! Shit, man!

This is different guys.

They're not filming you,

these are Channel 10 guys!

They're doing a story

on local musicians,

about my recording studio

and the band I'm startin'.

Well they better

not f*ck with me

'cause I'm on f*ckin' vacation.

Ricky, they're not

gonna f*ck with you.

Relax.

Sorry about that, fellas.

He's actually not crazy,

believe it or not.

Do you know where Randy is?

I gotta do an emergency

recording session.

Why the f*ck would I

know where Randy is?

He's probably down at the pond

finger blasting a male turtle.

Look at this,

songwriting contest.

I can win a hundred

f*ckin' bucks!

Oh, no f*cking way!

You gonna put "Liquor

And Whores" in?

Well, no Ricky, I told ya

that was like a joke song.

I wanna do serious stuff.

No, man, that's a

f*ckin' mistake.

Everybody knows that

song, you can win with it.

I know, but I don't wanna be

just known for that, ya know.

Expand my horizons.

Alright, well, you can

suit myself, I guess,

but that's f*ckin' dumb.

Well, that's what

I'm doin', Ricky.

If you get that thing

workin' I'd love a sausage.

Here's the studio here, fellas.

Look at this. It's called

Tabby Road, you know.

And I got the kitties there

instead of The Beatles.

[laughs] Kitty Beatles!

Thought that was pretty cute.

So, this feels like

a bit of a departure

from what you've

done in the past.

Have you always wanted

to be involved in music?

I've always been into music

since I was a little guy,

you know, music and

playin' the guitar,

and even recording, you know.

So when the shopping

cart business, you know,

when the arse fell out

of that I just thought,

well maybe I can make

some money, you know,

doing more of my hobby,

more of my passion, you know?

So I built this recording studio

and just thought, I'll

get my music going

and then when I

get my band going,

we'll have a, a place

to record our albums.

But, you know, a fella's

gotta make money,

so, yeah, I mean,

I've been recording

everything from, you know,

like barbershop quartets...

Swimmin' in the pond

That little duck

Where is he going?

What's he going

to do? Yeah

To crazy metal

bands that scare me.

[screaming]

To like, weirdo spiritual music.

Hi!

Bubbles, can I get a little

more reverb on the gong, please?

Yes, ma'am.

Stuff like that.

Anything. Anything.

And over there,

see that's where I live

in that shed over there.

But when I have a big session,

you know, that's where the,

the people go to record,

I move all the shit

out onto the lawn.

Put the f*ckin'

bass amp over here.

You don't need a ride cymbal

in a f*ckin' metal band.

Get rid of that.

And do you run this entire

facility all by yourself?

I have help from

one guy that I know.

His name's Randy.

You probably saw him

around the park there.

No shirt on,

great big shit t*nk on him.

He's my helper.

So he helps me

with the equipment

and running cables and stuff,

and, and I help him on

the weekends, you know,

loading up his f*ckin' food

truck with hot dog buns.

And what's this?

This is from Abbey Road,

the real Abbey Road in London.

I took some money,

everything I had actually,

and I,

I booked Abby Road for

seven f*ckin' minutes,

officially booked it!

And I was, you know,

I could have went

and recorded there.

I mean, I knew I'd

never get to do it,

I just...

I just thought it would be

kind of neat to be, you know,

entered into the log

book with the greats.

Look at this!

There's a song writing contest,

ya win a hundred bucks.

I'm gonna f*ckin' win that

money right now, baby.

Step aside,

hit song comin' up. [laughs]

Okay, that should do it.

Can't waste tape.

Can't waste tape.

"Kitties Are So Nice" take two.

Kitties are so nice

Kitties are so nice

Get them down

[reporter] So what

about live music?

You had a bit of a hit with

one of your songs already.

Well, no, that was

more like a joke song.

I'm talking about a,

a real hit about something

important, you know,

like kitties, for instance.

You know, everybody on

the planet loves kitties.

Yes.

And, you know, there's no

real songs about kitties,

which to me is unbelievable.

So I think my song,

"Kitties Are So Nice"

it sorta ticks all

the boxes for what a,

a hit song should have.

So, you know, I guess we'll see.

You know...

Jesus Murphy.

Violet! You should slow down.

You're gonna, you're gonna

rattle your brain loose.

I've done it.

Very excited.

Thank you, Baby Jesus!

Boys! Check it out!

I got all kinds of f*ckin'

people looking to audition

for the Shitrockers!

Jesus f*ckin' Christ!

How many times do

I gotta tell ya

not to slam the

g*dd*mn f*ckin' door?

Oh, thanks for the

Church Of Latter Day

Saints moment, Julian.

Why you being such a

dicky little b*tch?

Because I was cleaning

your f*ckin' dishes

and it was pissing me off!

Sorry about that, Bubs.

- It's good news, bud.

- I cooked!

It's f*ckin' awesome, buddy.

You're f*ckin' right

it's awesome, boys.

Like, I'm gonna

have a real band!

A real band.

There's like ten

people looking to join,

so I'm gonna have to have

auditions and everything.

- Nice.

- Cool.

Think I can have them in here?

What, here in my trailer?

Well I don't have room

in my shed, Julian.

I'm gonna have to have

a drum kit and amps

and mics and the whole thing.

Bubs, I'd like to but I got

ladies coming over later.

What are ya talking about?

You said we're going

stealing gas later.

I've got ladies coming

over later, all right.

Besides, I don't want

f*ckin' drums and amps

and band dicks with

long hair and shit

f*ckin' over my trailer.

Sorry, man.

Well, f*ck you then. I

guess I'll steal gas myself.

Whatever.

Listen, Bubs, you can f*ckin'

do it in my trailer, man.

I think it'd be kind of cool

to have a band that

plays in my trailer.

Really?

See that?

Right there, that's

what friends do, Julian.

Come on, don't be

like that. I'm happy-

Stick that up.

I'm happy you're gonna get

a band going too, okay?

Yeah, obviously you're so happy.

No, I'm f*cking serious, man.

You know what?

I tell you what,

how about I become your manager?

I'll make you some money.

Yeah, I think I'll

take a big f*ckin'

whore of a pass on that, Julian.

Why?

Because you don't know the

first thing about managin' bands

or gettin' gigs.

That's why.

You gotta know

the f*ckin' scene!

You gotta know who's

a mover and a shaker,

what's hot and what's not.

You don't know any of that.

Big Hawk, how's it going?

What's up?

Got anybody playing

there this week?

No. Why?

Yeah, I'm managing

Bubbles' new band.

They good?

Oh f*ck, buddy.

They're unbelievable.

Everybody's talkin'

about them around town.

Thursday night?

Thursday night would be perfect.

All right, see you there, man.

You're playing Veterans

Hall Thursday night.

I take fifty

percent at the door.

You're welcome.

I'm playing Veterans Hall?

Yep.

[whistles]

Okay. Not bad. Not bad.

Are you, uh,

are you willing to lose

the leather jacket?

No? Next!

Next!

What the f*ck are you

doing here, Murray?

You don't play the

saxophone, do ya?

Well, you're f*ckin'

right I play the sax!

Look at that.

Next!

Okay. Travis Dumbass.

Not Dumbass, Dumas.

Dumas. Okay. Let's see

what you got, Travis.

Not too shabby!

Next!

Um, next, please!

I wear t*nk tops

With no muscles

Got rings on every knuckle

Wear my sandals

With my socks

I said I'm the worst

Dressed son of a b*tch

That this

country's Ever seen

Okay, thank you.

Thank you. Yeah,

I'll be in touch.

Hey, I'm Waylon Peterson,

some people call me the Peacock,

and I play the lead bass

and I'm vocal performer.

[Bubbles] Okay, let's

see what ya got.

Ooh baby, I love To

look in your eyes

Ooh baby, you're a prize

Lady magnet.

That was fantastic!

That kind of sounded like

a, a kitty at the end.

Could you make that

sound like a kitty?

Yeah.

Not too shabby.

Okay. What's your name?

Donnie Slug-ford-son.

Slugfordson?

Never heard that one before.

I've been a guitarist fffff...

for...

forty years?

Okay, let's hear what ya got.

Decent!

Ha! Okay, fellas.

I thought we'd just warm

up with some, you know,

simple country stuff.

Just a nice country rhythm,

maybe in A, you know,

like truck and feel.

Okay, here we go.

A one, two, three, four.

Hey, Bubs, I think we're

gonna have to change the name.

It's kind of f*cked.

What? What are

ya talkin' about?

Well the Shitrockers part,

it sounds like we're shitty,

like shitty at rocking.

Like we're a shitty

band covered in shit.

Okay, that's not at all

what Shitrockers means,

but that's not even

what I'm talkin' about.

What do you mean 'we'?

We. The band.

You're not in the band.

What are you talkin'

about? Yes I am.

You're not in the

Shitrockers, Ricky.

You're playing in my trailer

so obviously I'm in

the f*ckin' band.

Think about it.

That's not how

this works, Ricky!

It doesn't matter

it's your trailer.

You don't even

f*ckin' play anything!

I can play all kinds of shit.

Like what?!

[Ricky] Oh, I can

play the f*ckin' pot.

I could be like Percushnin

or whatever it's called.

Ricky.

No, just no! Ricky!

I don't need a f*ckin'

pot player in the band.

Why not?

How many country

bands have you seen

where somebody's banging

on a f*ckin' old pot?

I, I remember at least a couple.

None! There's none. Ricky.

Look, this is a song I wrote.

It's in A, okay?

And it just goes up to the E,

but it's like

country, country feel.

It goes like this.

A 1, 2, 3, 4, 1.

No, on the D.

The D there without

the middle finger.

Bubs, this sounds

complicated and f*cked, okay?

Here's one I wrote,

and it starts in whatever

f*ckin' letter you want,

it's called 'Looly

Looly Chicken'.

Ready?

Looly looly looly chicken!

His little feet

Is made of gold

No!

He walks around...

No! No f*ckin' no!

Stop playin'!

Ricky, gimme the f*ckin' pot.

Let go of the pot!

Don't grab my pot!

- Ricky!

- Don't grab me in my kitchen!

Put the f*ckin' pot down!

Don't f*ckin' grab

me and f*ck off!

Whoa, hey, hey, hey, hey!

What the f*ck's

going on in here?

Ask him! Jesus Christ. f*ck!

I'm trying to have my auditions

and he's in here banging a pot

'cause he thinks

he's in the band!

I am in the g*dd*mn

f*ckin' band!

You're not!

Ricky, what the f*ck

you talkin' about?

You're not in the band.

It's in my trailer,

think about it.

I have to be!

Listen to him!

Alright, I'm the

manager, you're fired.

Why?

Because I said so, that's why.

You're f*ckin' firing me?

Ricky, you don't have

time for this shit anyway.

Come on, let's go!

You're a f*ckin' as*h*le,

and you're a bigger

f*ckin' as*h*le.

You know what? I

didn't wanna be in this

stupid g*dd*mn

f*ckin' band anyway!

- Good! Good!

- It's shitty.

- Smells like shit in here.

- It's not shitty.

- It sounds good, Bubs.

- Bro smells like shit.

- It doesn't.

- All the music's just,

it's all covered in shit, Bubs!

Sorry about that, fellas.

This is, let's just do

the country music, please.

None of that funky stuff.

1, 2, 3, 4, 1.

Okay, we're gonna

have to work on it.

We're gonna have to work on it.

So, how did it go?

It looks like you made

some tough decisions?

Well, not really.

I mean, most of the people

that showed up today

were completely f*cked, so these

are the guys I'm left with.

I mean not 'left with',

I mean, it's who I

would've picked anyway,

probably, I mean,

unless somebody way

better hada showed up.

You know?

Not that there is

anybody, you know, better,

but there could be.

There probably is

somewhere in the world.

There's always somebody

better than you, right?

You're not probably the best

interviewer on the planet.

I mean, not that you're shit,

you're doing quite well,

but that's what

I'm trying to say.

Yes, that's the band, and

I couldn't be happier.

And, um, how are you guys

feeling about being Shit...

rockers?

- Good.

- Good?

- Yeah, good.

- Good?

[reporter] So, what is your

first order of business

going to be as a band?

Well, I mean, now that the

Shitrockers are official,

I can probably start

gettin' these babies out!

You know?

I don't know if "Thumbin'

And Drinkin's" gonna be first

or maybe "Fur Biscuits."

Actually, no,

"Kitties Are So Nice"

is on Longhauler so that'll

probably be the first record,

double record.

[reporter] Sorry, I'm confused.

You already had a band

called The Shitrockers?

I thought this was new?

Oh no, I made these

album covers years ago.

Just hoping that, you know,

some day I would have a band

where we could make the actual

records that go in there.

You know, all the song

titles are on there too,

look at that.

Now, I just have to

write them! [chuckles]

[woman] Hi, can I help you?

Yeah, I'd like to drop this off

for the singer

songwriter contest.

Got the winnin' song right here.

I'm sorry, sir,

but the submission

deadline ended at noon.

What?!

Oh my f*ck! I didn't see that!

Oh my God, could you

just take it anyway?

I worked so hard on it!

I'm sorry, I don't

make the rules.

I could get in trouble.

Oh my f*ck! I

can't believe this!

How in the f*ck is anybody

supposed to read that?!

It's written like that big!

Jennifer, baby, where's

that package at?!

What's going on?

Can I help you, sir?

- Oh my God, you're- -

Richie f*ckin' Spinz!

Yes! How you doin', man?

Is everything okay?

Well, I, uh, I, I was just...

[Jennifer] He came to drop

off a song for the contest,

but I told him he

missed the deadline.

Yeah, I just...

I didn't read the fine print.

No f*ckin' shit, Sherlock.

Is everything okay down there?

Yeah, I just, you know, if I...

when I meet a huge celebrity

sometimes I, I gotta use it.

Well, that I am.

Understandable.

Is this the song?

Yes, that's it right there.

Recorded, mixed, and mastered

by me at my own studio.

[Richie] " Kitties

Are So Nice! " Yes!

And on cassette!

I haven't seen one of these

bad boys in a long time.

I tell you what,

you drove all the way down here,

Richie Spinz is gonna

make an exception

at reception!

[Bubbles] Really?!

Oh my God, that

would be amazing!

I'm telling you right

now, that's a hit song!

You just give it a listen.

Namaste, m*therf*cker!

Listen, Jennifer,

no f*ckin' foolin',

Daddy needs his meds!

Richie Spinz!

Oh my God! Where's

your bathroom?

I gotta use it.

Oh, it's just around the corner.

Richie Spinz hugged me!

Oh my God!

That was unbelievable!

Did you guys see that?

Richie Spinz my new best friend!

That was unbelievable!

I mean, I did miss the deadline.

I missed it fair and square.

I didn't see it written

in the small print.

But to have Richie Spinz

himself bend the f*ckin' rules

to get me in the comp...

I can't believe

that just happened!

Richie Spinz, I'm

gonna piss my pants.

103.5, Richie Spinz with

the Afternoon g*ons,

we're back!

Okay, hotshots!

You're not gonna believe

what just happened

to Seor Spinz in the lobby.

I'm coming through there

and there's this guy

wearing the thickest glasses

you've ever seen

in your whole life.

A total Poindexter, man.

Loserville,

population, this guy!

I mean, you could count rocks

on the moon with these bad boys!

He had an underbite you

can open a Corona on.

This guy's so nervous

he's pulling on his

pants like a 3-year-old,

and I'm coming

through the lobby,

he's having a complete

meltdown with Jennifer

at the desk.

All because he's late

bringing a song in

for the song contest.

A song on cassette.

Cassette?

Okay, get it on.

I need to hear this.

Here we go with,

"Kitties Are So Nice" by...

Bubbles.

You like it, Richie?

Oh, what did the sheep

say about Bubbles' song?

It's baaaad.

Boom goes the dynamite!

You're a mean fellow, Richie.

f*ck you, Richie Spinz!

c*cksucker!

Arsehole!

f*ck Richie Spinz!

That coked up f*ck

actually said that?

Live on air?

Yes, he did.

c*cksucker!

What else did he say?

I don't know.

I don't even wanna

talk about it.

He f*ckin' went off, man.

He was talkin' about his jaw

and how f*cked he looked,

and that he was twiggling his

nuts the whole f*ckin' time,

and he may have ejasculated

in his pants even.

- What?!

- He's f*cked!

I didn't even hear that part!

Well, he said it. I was in

line at the liquor store,

the whole f*ckin' store was

laughin' their heads off.

Oh my God.

I told you, man, you should've

gave him "Liquor And Whores."

I mean, the kitty

song's all right,

- but it's, it's kind of f*cked.

- Ricky.

It's not f*cked, Ricky!

Richie Spinz can go pound sand

up the eye of his shrivelled up

f*ckin' cock is what

Richie Spinz can do!

He wouldn't know a good song if

it crawled up his Hawaiian shirt

and f*ckin' shit in his mouth.

I never liked that weird b*tch

even when he was popular.

- Bubs? Bud!

- Bub's you okay?

Did you swallow

some of those pins?

I think I might've!

[Bubbles] Holy f*ck!

So what is Shitrocking exactly?

What style of music would

you consider it to be?

Well, Shitrocking,

that's a word my dad used a

lot when I was a little guy,

and I wouldn't say it's

like a style of music

as much as like an

attitude, you know?

Like, my dad he'd get

f*ckin' right out of her

and he'd go down to

the veterans halls

and it wouldn't matter who

was on stage, you know,

as long as they

were really into it

and just f*ckin' givin'

her, he would say,

"All these guys are

shitrockin' tonight!"

Or if he was in the big rig,

you know, drunk or whatever,

he'd always say he could never

fall asleep at the wheel,

as long as there was

good shitrockin' rockin'.

And what is your earliest

memory of him using that term,

Shitrocking?

[Bubbles] Um, probably,

probably referring

to Buddy Hawley.

He loved everything

Buddy Hawley ever did,

you know.

He'd always say "Nobody can

shitrock like Buddy, you know?"

And then when they'd get

on the liquor together,

apparently that was something...

[reporter] Wait, wait. I

don't want to interrupt,

but your dad knew Buddy Holly?

Yeah. He, he knew him

quite well apparently.

I mean, I never met him

'cause he was long dead

by the time I was born.

But, yeah, my dad spent

a lot of time with him.

They hung out and,

and they used to

'get up to no good'

as the legend goes, you know.

My dad gave me one of his

guitars when I was a little guy.

You're kidding me?

You own a guitar that

belonged to Buddy Holly?

That's just incredible.

[Bubbles] Yeah, I

have it right here.

Look at that.

Uh, I don't remember Buddy

ever playing a guitar like that

in any of the

pictures I've seen.

Oh no, that's Buddy's guitar.

Look, he scratched his

name in it right there.

[reporter] Oh, okay.

I thought you were talking

about Buddy Holly from Texas,

one of the pioneers

of rock and roll?

[Bubbles] Oh, Jesus Murphy!

No, not Buddy Holly!

H-O-L-L-Y. Oh my f*ck. No. No.

If I had one of his

guitars I woulda,

I woulda sold it and

I'd be f*ckin' rich!

No, this guy, Buddy Hawley,

he's an old drunk,

lived down the end

of the park there.

He used to eat raw scallops

out of his shirt pocket

and he had pet rats that

slept in the bed with him.

[reporter] Oh, okay.

And what ever became of him?

Oh, he, he died in prison

after he got convicted of

revenge bangin' a priest.

[reporter] Wow.

Yep.

[Ricky] Holy f*ck, boys!

It's been a while since

I drove on mushrooms.

I don't know how

safe it is driving-

[Bubbles] Look at the

size of her, boys!

This is the big time.

I'm getting so f*cked

up tonight, Bubs,

you're driving home, buddy.

Ricky, don't get too f*cked up

so that you ruin

the g*dd*mn show.

[Ricky] This is gonna be

a f*ckin' shaker, man!

Holy f*ck, Bubs!

There it is, Bubbles

and The Shitrockers!

No, it says Shitrackers.

What the f*ck?

They must not have

any O's, Bubs.

Smack my nob, is this real?

Look at it, I can't believe it!

I can't believe it!

Bubs, no, no, no, no. Come on.

That's not worth f*ckin'

cryin' over, all right?

Yeah man, people still know

that it's supposed

to be Shitrockers.

There's no such thing as a

shitracker anyway, is there?

What the f*ck would that be?

Someone goes around collecting

shit and puts it on a, a rack?

That's not what I'm

crying about, boys.

I don't care about the letters.

Always dreamed of

havin' my name in lights

and headlining this place.

And now it's happenin'!

I'm sorry, buddy.

It's pretty f*ckin'

awesome, man.

The least they coulda done is

hose the shit off the sign tho.

What the f*ck?

I don't think it's shit,

Ricky. It's probably just mud.

Looks like shit.

Oh yeah, that's shit.

That's human shit.

Ricky, why would you do that?

I didn't shit on it!

No, but why would you

put your hand in it, man?

Good luck tonight, Bubs.

You're gonna be f*ckin' great.

Ricky, that's his stage

f*cking clothes, man.

- Come on!

- I'm just wishin' him luck!

- You wiped it on me!

- I don't think I did.

Right before the gig!

It's okay. You can't smell

it. It's fine. It's dusty.

Well, it looks

like a cloth to me.

- It wasn't wet, Bubs.

- Oh, you can smell it.

We were out walkin',

Just takin' in the day

When I got gawkin' At

a lady's boob bouquet

And my gal got twisted, I

said, "Baby think it through"

Go dance.

"I'm just focusing and

I only got eyes for you"

Yeah!

Woo-hoo!

Lookin' good, Bubs!

Oh yeah!

Frig off!

Ricky, f*ckin' sit down!

Want a drink, buddy?

No, I'm okay.

Woo!

Only got eyes for you

Baby, you know it's true

My irises desireses

You in my field of view

Oh f*ck!

I know it makes you blue

But don't you fret 'cause

I only got eyes for you

Yeah!

Woo!

But don't you fret 'cause

I only got eyes for you

Sorry, ladies!

[women] We're good!

Don't you fret 'cause

I only got eyes for you

Yeah! Alright.

Let's get high!

Okay. Let's go get high.

Only Got Eyes For You.

[man] How ya doing, buddy?

How did you feel

it went tonight?

Well, I think it

went pretty good.

You know, I mean,

it wasn't packed

as you know but...

Hey, way to go out

there tonight fellas,

you really knocked them dead!

Yeah, I thought we did, right?

I would say so!

Fourteen people,

not a single fight.

You can't get much

better than that!

Yeah, I mean, I never really

thought of it like that.

No fights!

So the big question is,

would you boys be interested

in playing some of the other

veteran halls, uh,

in the province?

Same deal?

Yeah, we sure would.

Wouldn't we, fellas?

Yeah!

Are you talking like...

The circuit? Yes I am.

Well, you got yourself

a deal, Big Hawk.

Ah, yes sir!

Woohoohoo!

- Yes sir.

- All right!

The circuit! Holy f*ck, boys!

Can you believe

that just happened?

What just happened?

The Shitrockers are

going on tour, baby!

- Woohoo!

- Yeah!

Woo.

[Bubbles] Okay boys, let's

get this baby loaded up.

I got 'er all gridded out

in my head like Tetris.

This guitar right here is

going up on top of the top rack

with the hamburger buns.

Okay, that's going up

there. Gimme the bass drum.

Go right under the grease trap.

Alright, gimme that baby.

Hey guys, how's it goin'?

Hey, Randy, just gettin'

the old girl loaded up.

It's very exciting.

You know what time

we're hittin' the road?

What? What do you mean?

Well, I'm just wondering if you

know what time we're leaving,

I need to plan my

bowel movements.

Randy, when I asked you to

borrow it for a tour bus, I...

I didn't mean you were comin'

with the f*ckin' thing.

I'm borrowin' it.

Well, it's my business.

I can't just shut it

down for two weeks,

I need to make money too.

Oh my God. Well this

is a big fuckup!

Well, what's the big deal?

You can still use

it as a tour bus.

It's just, I need to sell

burgers in the parking lot

at every show.

If I can't do that, I'm out.

Alright, here's the new deal.

If you're coming with

us, you can sell burgers,

but only before and after

the shows, not durin',

and you gotta sell

the merch outta there,

and you gotta be a lugger.

What's a lugger?

You gotta lug the

gear into the shows.

Help set it up.

And actually, you can

do all the stage stuff

and tune the guitars.

I'll show you how.

Like a roadie?

Well no, roadies actually know

what the f*ck they're doin',

but, okay, if you

wanna be a roadie,

we'll call you Randy Roadie.

Alright, deal, Bubs!

Alright, well, start grabbin'

f*ckin' gear and loadin' it.

Hey, man.

Okay, boys, you guys, I

gotta get the cat tree on

and all the litter boxes.

Litter boxes?

Yeah.

[Randy] Woo! This is

friggen awesome, Bubbles!

Two weeks on tour!

Yes, sir.

Bubbles And The Shitrockers!

- Yes.

- Woo!

Shouldn't we be

having some drinks

or talkin' about, you know,

dr*gs or somethin'?

I had some toast and

Some eggs to get me in

Bing Clawsby's on the

dash and I'm driving.

[Bubbles] Well that's,

that's where he goes, Randy.

They're free range

kitties, Randy.

They'll go where they're goin'.

Some of my kitties are

special needs kitties,

so I couldn't really leave them

back at the park on their own,

you know?

Bing Clawsby here, he's

got mental problems

so, you know, he needs belly

work every couple hours

or he gets really, really nutty.

And Furton Cummings

he gets the shits

if he eats anything

after four, you know.

And then Cat Benatar,

she's a biter if you leave

her alone so, you know.

He's an arm dangler, which is a,

this is a rare kitty.

You know, most kitties

won't dangle on your arm

and look out the windshield.

But he just likes to do that,

I think 'cause

he's not all there.

Soon may the kitty-man come

With birds and mice

And some tasty nums

One day when The

critters come

We'll eat 'til our

Bellies are full

This is gonna be the best

two weeks of our lives, boys!

Jesus Murphy! Is

he gonna be okay?!

It looks like some kind of

severe allergic reaction.

Um, do you know if he was

exposed to any kind of nuts?

Or, or cats maybe?

No, I have no idea.

- Oh!

- Oh shit!

He's going in anaphylactic

shock, we gotta move!

What? What the f*ck is that?

Shock?

Oh my f*ck!

He might've had nuts.

I might've been nuts.

No, it was the cats!

Shut the f*ck up, Randy.

Jesus! I know it was the cats!

[siren blaring]

Anaphylactic shock?

I feel horrible.

I had no idea Travis

was allergic to kitties.

I wouldn't have

put him in there.

Hey, he had no idea either, huh?

I've... known... Travis.

For a really long time, Slug?

Right. And. I-

You didn't know he

was allergic either?

Right.

This is unbelievable!

Unbelievable.

First show of the tour

and we're probably

gonna have to cancel.

I don't know what

else we can do.

No, no, no. I could

probably handle the drums.

What? And not play the bass?

No, I think I can do both.

Both?

Hmm. Yeah.

My new shed she's

Got indoor plumbing

And hear that sound That's

my heat pump hummin'

What the frig?

Got ninety six kitties

But we're not slummin'

So listen up, buddy

Imma tell you something

Livin' in my

shed Is my wish

Hey boys, brand new day!

Randy, here, take that fella.

Keep all the drum

stuff together.

Cymbally goes with the stand.

That's-that's enough, isn't it?

Not carryin' that

f*ckin' thing all over.

Band leader.

...where my double

Decker bunk beds live

Kitties, liquor, and dope

[Bubbles] Where am I gonna

put the shirts though?

That's where we

gotta figure out.

Maybe here and here?

I was gonna sell some of those

after I sell all

the burgers, right?

We can do a combo,

but I get the money

and you give away

the burgers maybe.

Well, some people live

In big fancy houses

How's everybody doin'?

We're Bubbles And

The Shitrockers.

We're gonna get

right into it here.

We're gonna rock it up tonight.

This is a song called,

"Home Is Where Your Shed Is."

Here we go, boys!

f*cking pounded

Livin' in my

shed Is my wish

Two hundred forty six

Channel satellite dish

Let's do a cheer for

Travis welcoming him back.

Travis!

- Welcome back, Travis.

- Welcome back, Travis.

Ah!

Hit it right there, Travis.

Woo!

Nice shot.

Kitties, liquor, and dope

Home is where Your shed is

Chug, chug. chug, chug!

Fine! Fine! f*ck off!

Wooooo!

Yeah! Woooo God!

Livin' in my

shed Is my wish

You want two burgers?

Alright, that's

gonna be ten bucks.

Do you want a T-shirt?

You'd look good in one of

those T-shirts right there.

Bubbles And The Shitrockers.

So do me a favor

Geezus! We've

gotta scoop this.

Like, don't you see

the turds in it?

Hey, should we not be using

that litter box ourselves?

Or is that just for the cats?

You didn't shit in the

litter box did ya, Dwight?

I don't know if I did

or, um, I dreamt it,

but it's a pretty clear picture.

I-I might have.

Is where your shed is

Kitties, liquor, and dope

Home is where your shed is

Off you go!

Kitties, liquor, and dope

Home is where Your shed is

Tour's pretty incredible really.

I mean, a lot more gruelling

than I thought it would be,

you know, twelve f*ckin'

gigs in fourteen days.

That sounds like a dream

but she's a lot f*ckin'

harder than you think

when you start

factoring, you know,

just eatin' greasy

cheeseburgers,

drinkin' your face off,

after parties,

sweaty baloney sandwiches,

not sleepin',

just gettin' right out of her.

I mean, you know, it's,

it's sad it's comin' to an end.

It's-it's been like

a dream come true.

But that's sort of life

in a band, I guess.

Oh, hang on, fellas.

Sorry.

Sorry about that, I'll turn-

Oh, this is Julian!

It's Julian! Hey Julian!

What's going on?

Hey Bubs, what are

you doing, man?

I'm still up drinkin'.

We've been up all night.

I'm doing an interview

with the camera fellas.

Oh yeah, they still

being dicks or what?

You're on speakerphone,

they can hear ya.

I don't give a f*ck.

Listen, man, I just

booked you a show

that I think you're gonna be

pretty f*ckin' excited about.

A show?

I thought last night

was the last one.

It is but this is a gig at

the f*ckin' penitentiary, man.

What? The penitentiary?

Yes, this is big time.

Guaranteed crowd.

A hundred f*ckin'

people, man, at least!

We can make some serious

f*ckin' cash here, man.

How are we gonna make cash at

a penitentiary show, Julian?

Don't worry about it.

I got some kind of a deal going

with the guards, all right.

I thought you'd be way more

excited about this, man.

No, I am!

I'm playing at the penitentiary!

Did you hear that?

Max security.

Kitties are so nice

Kitties are so nice

Get them down

Spin them round

Tickle their bellies

Not once but twice!

Kitties!

f*ck you!

Kitties are so nice

Thank you!

Play something good,

for f*ck sakes!

That was "Kitties Are So Nice".

We're Bubbles And

The Shitrockers

from the Sunnyvale Trailer Park.

We're gonna do

another song here.

This song's also about cats.

f*ck cats!

Cats can suck my f*cking d*ck!

Play some f*cking

metal or something!

I don't think there's

enough songs about cats.

You better play something

these guys gonna like

and you better make it fast!

It's gonna get ugly back here!

Get him off of there!

I was just jokin' about the

whole cat thing, fellas.

Is there anybody in here

tonight that likes liquor?

I said, is there anybody in

here tonight that likes liquor?

Yeah. Okay. And how 'bout,

how about ladies

of the evening?!

This is a song

right here called,

Liquor and whores

Liquor and whores

Cigrits and dope and

Mustard and bologna

Liquor and whores

Holy f*ck!

Jesus Murphy!

Ahhh!

So, how do you feel the show

went in the penistentiary?

Well, I think it was awesome.

I mean, I don't think it's

what we were expectin'.

You know, normally when

you're going into a show

you're not thinking,

"You know, I could very

realistically be m*rder*d

by the audience tonight if I

don't play what they want."

That's not a common

concern I don't believe.

Yeah and under

normal circumstances

you don't have an

audience member yelling,

"I'm gonna turn your

f*cking ass into hamburger!"

And going like that and shit.

Apparently, one of the guards

he took like a clip of us

playin' during the riot

and he put it up on

the TikTok machine

and it's got like a million

views or two million views,

something like that,

which apparently is a lot.

- Yeah.

- So who knows?

I mean, that stuff

will just keep...

Bubbles, what's going on?

Oh, I was doing an interview

with the music

fellas here, Randy,

but you f*cked that up, I guess.

Oh, sorry, Bubbles.

But I got a call on

the supervisor's phone.

I think you're really

gonna want hear it.

What?

Hey mate, not sure if

I have the right number

but I saw a clip of

Bubbles And The Shitrockers

playing at a prison

and he mentioned the

Sunnyvale Trailer Park.

If I got the right place

and anyone there knows

how to get a hold

of this Bubbles,

I'm a promoter in England.

I'm putting together a

little run through of Europe

with Billy Bob Thornton's band,

The Boxmasters,

and I'm looking

for an opening act.

He can hit me back

on this number.

Cheerio!

Holy f*ck, boys!

We gotta up our game!

We're going to Europe!

Billy Bob Thornton!

- Holy f*ck!

- Holy f*ck!

Okay boys,

here's all the cities

I'm gonna be in.

I made an extra itinerary

that you guys can keep.

Keep track of me.

Awesome man,

just make sure you keep

track of the door seats

like I showed you, okay?

m*therf*ckers will try to rip

you off over there, all right.

We'll settle up

when you get back.

Man, this is a lot of cities.

This is pretty f*ckin' cool!

I know, Ricky!

That's what I'm,

this is like a

real f*cking tour!

It's like I'm in the

Rolling Stones or something.

Well not really, people

know who they are, right?

But I know what you're

saying. Totally.

Hey g*ng!

What time we leaving, Bubbles?

We're leaving right now,

Randy. The taxi's here.

We gotta be at the

airport, thirty minutes,

Shitrockers meetin' us

there with the gear.

Let's go.

This is so friggen awesome!

Not with you going, you

f*ckin' stinky shit eating

water buffalo.

I'm actually glad I'm not goin'.

Frig off, Ricky.

Alright buddy, you keep

your head up, all right?

- All right, Julian.

- Don't talk to strangers,

look both ways before

you cross the street.

Shit's opposite over

there, remember?

- Right.

- Oh, here.

And watch out for the f*ckin'

bikes, man, in Amsterdam.

- They're f*cked!

- Got this for ya.

Keep this on ya at all

times just in case and-

Flashlight? Alright.

Here, I got you these.

Yeah!

Just in case you get

some shit going, man.

There you go, rock star.

Those European strippers,

they're f*cking wild, man.

You lucky bastard.

Yeah, okay, I suppose

I should take them.

I am in a band,

and bands do that.

Alright.

Alright, you sure you

wanna do this, man?

I wanna do it, Julian.

I mean, I lived

my whole life here

and when you think about it,

this isn't that much different

than what the old

man used to do.

Going town to town,

eatin' at truck stops,

stickin' to a tight schedule.

I'm kinda doin' what he did.

Well he'd be proud of ya, man.

Yeah, man.

I've been dreamin'

about this day, boys.

I mean, when you think about

it being in a band it's,

it's really like

havin' a family.

Alright man, bring it in.

We love you, you

big fucker, okay.

Alright.

There's nothing to

worry about Julian,

he's a grown f*ckin' man.

And t*rror1st att*cks are

way down these days anyway.

t*rror1st att*cks?!

Oh my f*ck, I never

even thought of that!

No, that's what I'm saying,

there's nothing to worry about.

I mean, s*ab wounds

are apparently

becoming a lot more common and

pretty much happen

on a daily basis,

people gettin' their

heads cut off and stuff.

- Ricky!

- What?!

But bombs, all that shit?

Way, way down according to

the news so that's good.

Bombings?!

Oh my f*ck!

IS IS and IRS,

when was the last time you

heard of them bombing anything?

- It's been a long f*ckin' time!

- Alright, that's-

That's enough!

Don't listen to him.

Let's go, Randy, before

I have a f*ckin' fit!

I mean, there is a sn*per

on the loose right now,

but I don't think it's not

gonna be where you're going.

A sn*per?!

- Ricky!

- You'll be fine!

What the f*ck's wrong with you?

I just want him to be

ready for anything.

What the f*ck? You're

scaring the f*ck out of him.

Bye guys!

You f*ckin' look

after him, Randy!

I'll try not to get my

f*ckin' head cut off!

Or picked off by a sn*per!

You'll be fine, Bubs.

You should be fine, buddy!

Just call us when you get there.

I'll cross my fingers for ya.

Love you!

I worry about Bubbles a lot.

I-I know he's a, a grown adult

and he can take care of

himself and everything,

but he's, you know,

he's naive sometimes.

You know, he's-he's

got such a-a big heart.

He's such a genuine

dude that, you know,

people can take advantage of him

and he doesn't even realize

they're doing it to him.

You know, there's a

lot of f*ckin' assholes

in the world out there.

But he's gonna do

what he's gonna do,

so what can you do?

Here she is, boys.

Holy f*ck!

Holy f*ck.

This is amazing, fellas.

I can't believe

we're actually here.

You can't, dude,

you've been to Maine,

I haven't even left Nova Scotia!

Boys, I've travelled everywhere.

Stick with me and I'll

show you how it's done.

Look it now, oh my f*ck!

- What?

- Oh my God!

I think I left the itinerary

thing on the airplane!

- Frig sakes.

- Oh my God!

Are you kidding me?

Cock sucker!

Oh my God! Okay.

Nobody panic! Nobody panic!

We can deal with this.

Hi there, sir,

could you help me?

I think I left all of our

information on the airplane.

We're from Canada.

We're trying to get to, uh,

I think it was called Loo

Va or somethin' or other.

Maybe Lee Va.

Va terminale?

Va? Like downtown Prague.

Ano, ano.

He knows, boys! He knows!

Terminale Autobus.

- That bus right there?

- Yeah, yeah.

Boys, we're gettin'

on the autobus.

Let's go.

This is it, the first

gig of the tour.

This is exciting. Are

you excited, Randy?

Yeah! Woo! Pra-gue! Wahoo!

Boys, I swear to f*ck

we've been by here already.

Have we not seen that building?

I think we've only

made like four lefts.

Okay, we're on a

loop-de-loop going left.

That's the airport!

And now we're takin'

a f*ckin' left.

This guy's f*cked.

First show on the g*dd*mn

tour, and we're late as f*ck!

Jesus Christ, don't let

it get away on ya, Randy!

What the f*ck, boys,

cuttin' it a little

f*ckin' close, aren't ya?

Hey, Bubbles, remember me?

Tom Mayhue.

I'm running Billy Bob's shit

for the next couple of weeks.

- Yeah you're...

- Hey, you f*cked up!

Don't make a habit of it!

You guys are on!

- Okay, I'm...

- Step it up!

Yeah, I'm sorry. It

wasn't our fault.

Just so you know.

Come on, Bubbles.

You can do this.

Okay boys, this is a

big f*ckin' night now.

Big night. We're in Europe.

Bring it in here.

Bring it in. Okay.

This is, I mean, we started

in Sunnyvale Trailer Park

and look where we are.

Boys, we're makin' it.

We're makin' it here.

This means a lot to me

and a lot to my dad.

Okay, so let's do this.

What are we gonna do tonight?

Shitrock!

Let's do it!

And his last name is Beam!

And I ain't into

Getting jacked, unless

Daniels is what you mean!

Boom! And this here treadmill

Felt like it would k*ll me

Lord, it just ain't my scene

Yeah, there's only one

Gym that I like to hit

And his last name is Beam

Yeah, there's only one

Gym that I like to hit

And his last name is Beam

Yeah, there's only one

Gym that I like to hit

And his last name is Beam

Randy, when you

change guitar strings

you can't just put

any string on any-

Hey guys!

I'm Danny with the Boxmasters.

Hey!

- What a f*cking great show!

- Oh, thank you.

Wanna come up and see Billy?

Yeah, I'd love to.

You've met, have you

met Billy before?

Yeah, me and Ricky and

Julian shot a thing with him

years ago called

Micro Ninjas. Yeah.

Come on.

Randy, come on up.

I'm not sure if he'll

remember me or not.

I hope so.

Yeah, these guys are with me.

Hey, I like your beard.

[Billy Bob] If you don't

let go of that cobra,

I swear on Christ

Almighty's f*ckin' nutsack,

that that bag of magic apples

is going in the mulcher.

Right? And I said,

do you understand me?

- Hey, Billy.

- What?

I got Bubbles here.

I'm in the middle of

a f*ckin' story, dude.

Alright. Sorry, man.

And I says to him,

do ya understand me?

Well the cat

freezes for a second

and I hit 'em right

in the f*ckin' face.

I can tell when somebody gets

shit and when they don't.

Speakin' of people

who don't get shit.

Anyway, sorry, Bubbles.

Hey, how you doin'?

Hey, nice job, man.

You guys were awesome tonight.

- Oh, thank you.

- Yeah. Yeah.

Thank you. I mean, thanks

for bringin' us out on tour.

This is unbelievable.

We're very f*ckin'

excited to be here.

Are you kiddin' me?

I mean, anybody that

causes a prison riot

singing about whores and cats,

that's my f*ckin' guy.

We did it.

We did that.

Mr. Thornton, it's a

pleasure to meet you!

You know this guy?

Oh yeah, he's with me.

That's, that's my roadie.

Randy. Randy Roadie.

- Interesting.

- [Bubbles] Yeah.

What's ya drinkin', bud?

Oh, I shouldn't be

drinking right now,

I'm on antibiotics.

I was sewin' and I sucked

some pins down my throat.

Now I got a,

a perforated rectum.

A perforated rectum? Wow.

Did you girls ever hear

of a perforated rectum?

I have.

Yeah. This is

Bubbles by the way.

Say hi to Bubbles.

- Hi.

- Hi. How you doin'?

Well that's too bad

'cause the promoter guy's

got a little thing set up

for us at a club tonight

and I was hoping

you'd go with us.

Well, just 'cause

I'm not drinking

doesn't mean I

can't go to a party.

I'm in! We can go.

Yeah. Cool.

Well it'd be good

to have you there.

And lemme tell you something,

the Czechs are f*ckin' freaky,

I'm telling ya.

They're gonna love

your ass, Tubby.

Oh, Jesus f*ckin' Christ.

There's a bit of a

stink comin' off him,

but I'll get rid of that

before we go to the party.

Nice job. Yeah.

He may wanna wear a shirt, dude.

Oh, he can't wear shirts.

He's allergic to fabric

from the waist up,

it's the weirdest thing.

Pants, no problem.

Shirts, rash.

- Really?

- Yeah.

Two things I never heard of in

one, like, two f*ckin' minutes.

Right?

I don't want nobody

Don't need nobody

I want you

Don't want nobody

Don't need nobody

I want you

You guys have been

awesome. Thank you so much.

You boys ready for this tonight?

- It's gonna be outta control.

- It's gonna be awesome!

Don't f*ck it up.

Boxmasters up here on

the left, Shitrockers-

It's a pleasure, mate.

I love you, bud. Oh thanks.

It's so good to see you again.

I love you too. You

guys ready to go?

- Yeah, I'm ready!

- Yes.

- Well- - Where you going?

We're going to a wine

and cheese party.

I don't really like

wine and cheese.

Um, and what's the hook?

Well, full disclosure.

Remember when we were in L.A.

with the suitcase full

of ping pong balls

and the face shield things?

Mm-hmm. Yeah, probably

at the Wright House?

Or Marquee, one of those.

Yeah, I remember.

It's that kind of deal.

The wine and cheese is just

for finger painting and shit.

- You know what I mean?

- Okay. Further info.

- I'm telling ya - Oh my God.

It's a Czech sex party.

What do you say?

Well, okay, let's check it out.

Let's check it out. All right.

Oh, let me introduce

you to this kid.

He's a sweet kid.

- Bubbles?

- Hey Bubbles.

- Ronnie Wood.

- Nice young man.

Ronnie Wood. Rolling Stones.

Yeah, that's right.

That's right, Bubbles.

He's a sweet kid.

- Hi, guys!

- I'm really honored.

It's an honor, sir.

Good to meet you, sir.

Nice to meet you, man.

Yeah, you've got your strap on.

- No, it's real.

- He sure does.

Alright, let's go guys.

I think I'm just gonna

stay. I'm really tired.

What the f*ck are

you talking about?

We're f*cking going.

It's f*cking Ronnie Wood.

No, boys, I just

got really tired.

I think I'm just gonna...

Bubbles, we're f*cking going.

Are you f*cking mental?

- I'm just gonna-

- Bubs, I gotta go.

Come on, Bubs. Let's go!

We've never been to

a European sex party!

There's wine and cheese, Bubs!

Randy, let's just

go to the hotel.

I'm tired.

Oh my f*ck. Oh my God.

[reporter] So what

happened there tonight?

You had a bit of an accident?

Yeah, I pissed myself.

I pissed my pants.

And I'm sure you saw

it with the cameras

and everybody had a laugh,

and I'd appreciate it if it

didn't go in your documentary.

Oh, it won't be in

the documentary.

You know what?

I don't even give

a f*ck actually

'cause it's just somethin'

that happens to me

now that I'm getting

a little bit older.

If I get too excited I

either hyperventilate

or I piss myself.

And it depends on the

level of excitement

but obviously tonight

it went to that level

with one of the Rolling Stones

standin' in front of me.

But I feel that

there is more to it.

Yeah, there actually

is more to it,

you know that?

'Cause I always thought

a band meant that,

you know, you stick

together no matter what.

That's what a band is to me.

Ricky and Julian never woulda

left me on my own there

to go to a

Czechoslovakian sex club.

But those guys did.

They dropped me like

a f*ckin' hot potato.

Like a hot, pissy potato.

[bell ringing]

[Dwight] I know, I know. Yeah.

Oh, careful, careful.

Alright, have a good one.

Auf weinersen, my darling!

Hey buddy, how's it going?

You missed a crazy

freaking party last night.

Czechoslovakian sex

clubs are incredible!

Dude, you missed it, man.

This one girl, I swear to God,

she took an entire sleeve

of six tennis balls,

shoved it right

up her arse, man.

Shh! Just watch your mouth!

We're around the churchy types.

No, man, it was crazy!

I mean, she got the

whole rig jammed up there

and just started firing off

the balls like a f*cking

a*tillery r*fle or something.

It was like... Hard

enough to crush the can!

- It was unbelievable.

- It was...

Incredible, Slug, was it?

It was incredible, man.

You f*ckin' missed it.

It was crazy. Shit

got crazy, dude.

Yeah, well, crazy maybe isn't

what we should be doin'.

Maybe we should be takin'

things a little more serious

around here.

Oh man, I'm sorry.

I thought you were

kidding, dude.

I mean, come on!

We're on tour, man.

We're in Europe.

Crazy is exactly what

we should be doing.

No, no.

Playin' the f*ckin'

best shows we can play

is what we should be doing.

Like we sounded like

f*ckin' shit last night.

I thought we sounded

pretty damn solid.

Oh did ya, Travis? You

thought we were solid?

Well your timing was all

over the f*ckin' place.

It sounded like somebody

threw a pair of work boots

in the f*ckin' dryer, okay?

You know what? New

rule, new rule.

If I can't go out,

nobody goes out.

Come on, Bubbles.

We're just trying to

blow off some steam.

Oh, you're gonna side

with them are ya Randy?!

I thought you were my

friend there, Tit Tassels?!

Well I am your friend.

But saying that we can't go out

unless you're with us is a

little harsh, don't ya think?

I don't think it is!

It's my f*ckin' band

and my name on it.

And if everything goes

wrong, who do people look at?

f*ckin' Bubbles, not you guys.

It's me that's in shit.

You know what?

That's the new rule.

Sorry.

Frig sakes.

[Bubbles] The Shitrockers

don't seem to understand

how much f*ckin'

pressure is on a fellow

when he's the band leader.

You know? I mean, keepin'

everything organized

and keepin' everything

on the f*ckin' rails,

it's basically

like herdin' cats.

It's harder than that actually

'cause I'm very good at

herdin' cats, you know?

It's all f*ckin' fun

and games to these guys.

They get all the perks

and all the benefits.

But, you know, when

shit goes wrong,

it's not them that everybody's

pointing the f*ckin' fingers at.

It's me!

Bubbles is the

one who f*cked up!

Errrrr!

Well, dirty ol liquor

Is what usually keeps

My ticker in check

I tried chewin tobaccie but It

doesn't have the same effect

It just wasn't adding up

When all my friends

Were telling me to quit

Then I realized they're

All a bunch of drunks

And now there's more booze

For them to split, yeah

Yeah give it up for booze

ya bunch of f*ckin' drunks!

My g*dd*mn band are

a bunch of drunks!

Cocksuckers!

In a moment you

Can feel the need

But it takes years

To trust the deed

Love isn't guaranteed

Because you

Planted the seed

Time has served us well

Time will always tell

Thank you so much!

And hats off to Bubbles

And The Shitrockers!

We're so happy to be

out here with them!

They're f*ckin' awesome!

Those cats are

amazing and we're,

and we're so humble

to be with them.

Thank you so much!

Holy f*ck!

Boys! Boys! Holy f*ck!

You guys should

have been out there.

The Boxmasters are unbelievable!

Billy thanked us on stage!

Whole crowd heard

him. He said our name.

What the f*ck?

That is f*cking sick, man.

Are you guys hungry?

Are you hungry?

There's this, all

this food and stuff,

just help yourself.

Got a bunch of stuff.

I don't know if we can

any of that can we?

Yeah, of course we can, man.

Look, it says Green Room.

That means like, go!

You know, like anyone

can have it, right?

We partied with Billy

so f*cking hard,

like we're friends now.

- He's not gonna give a shit.

- Yeah.

Hi. Um, can I

get an autograph?

Ah, yeah, sure.

I mean, I've never really

signed an autograph before.

Not for playin' music anyway.

Ah, the show was

amazing tonight.

Whose show? Our show?

Yeah. Who else's

show would I mean?

Hear that, boys?

I'm glad you guys are

havin' a good time!

Bubbles? What's it

like being famous?

And having all this kind of

stuff going on all the time?

Well, I mean, what

you see right here.

It's like a constant

f*ckin' party.

Like rockstar type stuff.

Booze flying around,

food, it's all free.

Yeah, but it must

get tiring though.

Oh, tiring is not the word!

It's exhausting is what it is!

But you know what,

you got a big f*ckin'

crowd out there

and you can feel the energy,

the adrenaline starts going

then you know it's go time...

Are we allowed to

have more beers?

Yeah! f*ck it!

Have whatever you

want! We're partying!

We're partying!

What? What the

f*ck's going on here?

- What?

- Who drank the boss's shit?

Oh, the boys had a few of them

but we thought it

was for everybody.

Yeah? Well you thought wrong!

Don't touch it again!

Okay.

Alright everybody, party's over!

Everybody out!

Let's go! Out!

Sorry about that.

- Out!

- Sorry, everybody.

Strike One, Shitdick!

What the f*ck is his problem?

What's his problem?

You guys drank

all Billy's stuff!

That's his problem.

Oh, it's the f*ckin' Green Room!

It's for everybody!

Oh, we partied with Billy,

he won't give a f*ck!

We did! We did!

Yeah, well he does

give a f*ck obviously!

Now we got a strike against us!

Correction, I got a strike!

f*ck!

Breakfast beer

A breakfast beer

Taste so good a

man'll Shed a tear

Make a dirty ol'

Hangover disappear

The day is so much better

With a breakfast beer

The day is so much better

With a breakfast beer

Life is so much better

With a breakfast beer

Breakfast beer

A giant flat beer to eat

For breakfast, all right?

Hello?

Sorry, what's that?

You're the band

playing here tonight?

Ah, we're one of them, yeah.

I'm with the Zeitung newspaper.

Actually, I'm a sports writer

but the music guy is sick

so the paper sent me here

to interview you instead

- To interview us?

- Yes.

Oh my god. Boys, we're

gettin' interviewed!

Yeah, we'd love to

do an interview.

Just give us one second.

Gettin' interviewed by

the German newspaper.

This is the f*ckin'

big time right here!

So is it like all of us

talking or just him or like-

This is so f*cking cool.

Well, we can all do it, boys,

but I'll do most of

the talkin', okay.

I got more experience with this

and it's a lot

harder than it looks,

believe me, you know.

It's very easy to get flustered

if you don't know

what you're doin'.

Okay. So how have you been

enjoying Berlin so far?

Oh, Berlin's lovely,

isn't it fellas?

I mean, you know, it's not

really what we expected,

but beautiful.

What do you mean?

Well, it's just more

modern, you know?

It's way more colourful.

I mean, not that we thought

it would be, you know,

in black and white

like you'd see in the

films from World w*r II

or anything like that.

That isn't what I

meant, you know?

I mean, that stuff

ended long ago.

Hitler's long dead as you know.

You know? And I mean,

unless he made it

down to Argentina

like that show on the History

Channel said he might have,

but I believe he

died in the bunker,

you know, like the

official reports say.

What do you think?

Ah...

Oh, sorry.

Sorry. Can I just...

Hang on one second. Sorry.

Oh, it's Randy!

Hey Randy, what's goin' on?

What?! Kidnapped?!

What the f*ck are

you talkin' about?

What? What's the driver's?

What's he sayin', Randy?

Just, oh.

Oh my f*ck. Can you...

can you talk to

this guy and see,

see what's goin' on.

My roadie thinks

he's been kidnapped.

Uh, yeah. Okay, sure.

[in German] Hello?

Where are you now?

Oh, no. He just

wanted a chesseburger.

Mm-hmm.

Okay, thanks.

Um, so the taxi

driver is Russian

and he barely speaks German.

So your friend

wanted a hamburger,

he was taking him to Hamburg.

Oh.

But I told him to

bring him back here.

Oh, for f*ck sakes.

Well at least he

hasn't been kidnapped.

No, at least not.

Oh, you know what? f*ck!

Can you call him back?

'Cause knowin' Randy he'll ask

him how to get a f*ckin' hot dog

and they'll end up in Frankfurt.

- You know what I mean?

- Yeah.

What in the serious

f*ck is going on here?

We're just doin' an

interview with the newspaper.

Yeah? Our Interview!

What?!

Billy and the band have been

waiting for 45 f*ckin' minutes

downstairs to do their interview

and they're not f*ckin' happy!

Well, we didn't know that!

I'm sorry. We just-

Strike two!

Sorry about that.

Oh my f*ck!

Jesus he's intense!

Hitler? Really?

Well I was just

sayin', you know,

he's not around anymore.

I don't believe.

[Bubbles] Just imagine, boys,

like they would've walked

down this exact same street

just like we're doing

back in the day, you know?

Totally unaware

they're about to become

the biggest band of all time.

What band are ya

talkin' about, Bubs?

What band am I talkin' about?

Do you even know what

f*ckin' city we're in, Randy?

Yeah, we're in Liverpool.

Right, we're in Liverpool.

So who might I be talkin' about?

The biggest band of all

time from Liverpool?

I don't know.

Elvis?

Elvis?!

Are you being f*ckin'

serious right now?!

Well what is this, a

frigging trick question?

Can we get some pints?

- Let's get some pints from here.

- Yeah.

Yes. We can get f*ckin',

let's have a pint, boys.

Let's get some pints.

You know Randy, you're

actually f*cked in the head,

- you know that?!

- I'm not f*cked.

Raymond's like on his

f*cking, you know,

deal like ranting about

the whole f*cking deal.

So anyway, he says,

but all of a sudden she,

like, makes a squatter up

and f*ckin' loads one out about,

about like that he said.

A f*ckin' thing about

like that, you know?

And Raymond's like real serious-

Hey, well look who's here.

What are you creeps doing?

Oh, hey!

Fellas, what's goin' on?

Hey boys, how you doin'?

What you been up to?

Oh, just, you know,

out walkin' around

lookin' at the stuff.

Yeah. So you've been seeing

the sites, go around,

take all the little touristy

things and all that shit?

Not like the full tours but

we're goin' up and down.

I mean, just bein'

here is unbelievable.

This street right here is

where she all went down.

A lot of history, dude.

A lot of history

over there, yeah.

Holy frig! I just

realized it's you!

Wow! You just put a pair

of sunglasses on and a hat

and you could sit

here drinking beer

and no one even recognizes ya!

Yeah, 'til now.

I mean, dude, come on.

What the f*ck's wrong

with your brain?

Randy, why would you say that?

What? I didn't say Billy

Bob Thornton for frig sakes!

Jesus Christ!

Now you did.

What the f*ck, eh?

Holy crap it is!

- It's Billy Bob Thornton.

- Yeah, right.

What the f*ck, mate?

We're massive fans!

Do you mind if we get a photo?

- Sure, yeah. Whatever.

- No photos right now!

- Go on, mate. Go on.

- Not right now.

Jesus Christ!

Hey man, sorry, did I get ya?

Yeah, only on both

legs that's all.

Hey, good? Go on, love.

Okay, okay. Excuse

me. Excuse me.

Can I pay for

another pint with us?

No, sorry. Hey,

thanks a lot, bud.

f*ck. Well, I guess

that's the end of that.

Thanks a lot.

f*ck! Why would

you say his name?

They're trying to be incognito!

Frig sakes.

You just keep makin'

it worse, Randy.

Every f*ckin' day.

Oh my God.

One, two, three, four!

You're lookin' for some belly

Work well don't be alarmed

I've got the friggin

tools On the end of my arm

If you're feelin' low I'll

Put my peanut in your jelly

No one's got yer back But

who's got yer belly? Aha

I'm on it!

Well, people got milk

And people got game

They're both refreshing

Fret, Randy!

When my baby gets my

belly She sets me on fire

Frig!

It's 'cause there's

When I get your belly

It's to show I care

The Boxmasters were created

in a basement studio

32 miles from their spiritual

home of Bellflower, California.

Somebody's got this

friggen wire wrong!

They added guitarist Mike Butler

and this became the original

line up of The Boxmasters.

It doesn't make any sense!

What the f*ck are

you doin', Randy?

No one's got yer back, but

Who's got yer belly?

Who's got yer belly?

Come on, yeah

[Bubbles] Thank you, guys!

[Mayhue] Doesn't f*cking matter!

Something goes

wrong on that stage,

you come to me first!

I'm so sorry, Mr. Mayhue,

I didn't know.

Not good enough!

If you don't know what the

f*ck you're doing up there,

stay the f*ck off

that stage. Period.

You sweaty little b*tch!

Hey! Don't be f*ckin'

pushing my friends!

What are you gonna do, hit me?

I don't want to

but if I have to,

I'll f*cking crank ya one!

Well if you do it better

be a f*cking good one

'cause it's about ready to

get f*cking messy in here!

What are you gonna do?!

I just, I just don't want you

pushing anybody that's all.

Yeah, that's what I thought.

Keep that little rollie pollie

fucker on a tight leash!

Thanks for sticking

up for me, Bubbles.

Randy, can we just stay out

of his f*ckin' way, please?

He's gonna f*ckin' k*ll us!

Oh my God.

I don't even know why

I'm blessing myself,

I don't believe in him.

[Bubbles] I never thought

I'd ever say this,

but I may not be cut out

for being on the road.

It's just one f*ckin'

bullshit thing after another.

It's, it's f*ckin' relentless.

Jesus Murphy.

I'm gonna have to,

I'm gonna have to call Julian.

I didn't want to do this, but

I don't see any other way.

No man, that's-that's

hallucinating, man.

- Is that...

- It's not real.

Oh, right. 'Cause I thought

hallucinatin' was you see,

little-little

f*ckin' characters-

Whoa!

Holy f*ck! It's Bubbles!

No way.

Hey buddy, how's it goin'?

Bubs, how's it goin', man?

We're f*cked on mushrooms!

I wish you were here, buddy!

f*ck, I can't use

my phone. Just-

Bubs! Bubs!

Julian, I think I might

be comin' home early.

Bubs, what's wrong,

man? What's goin' on?

You know what? You should!

Just quit! f*ck it, man!

I mean, you tried

and you failed.

No big deal. Who cares?!

Everybody fails once in a while.

Well, I didn't fail.

I just, you know,

I'm having f*ckin' trouble

keepin' the band in line.

And we royally

pissed off Billy Bob

and that f*ckin' Mayhue guy.

Mayhue?

What the f*ck is that

as*h*le doin' there?

He works for The Boxmasters,

and he's way f*ckin'

crazier than he was before!

Boys, I'm just like,

I miss my kitties

and I, I miss my shed.

You know what I mean?

I'm a million miles away

from home and I just,

I I feel like I'm all alone!

Well, you are!

Ricky! Listen, Bubs,

you're not a million miles

away from home, okay?

You're literally a six hour

flight away from us, okay?

That's not a big deal.

Just relax. Take

a deep breath.

Would you f*ck off?!

I'm on the other side of the

g*dd*mn f*ckin' planet, Julian!

You're not on the other

side of the planet.

Look up, look up globe and

take a look at that, okay?

You're just across the

f*ckin' pond, Bubs, okay?

It's not that far. Ricky.

But, um, look, man,

if things got bad enough,

we would be over there in

a second to get ya, okay?

Really?

Yeah, man. You just

gotta relax, okay?

We'll see how you're feeling

tomorrow, buddy. All right?

Okay? We got your back.

Okay, well, I do feel

better hearin' your voices.

I'll try to hang in

there till the end, okay?

f*ck that, man!

Just f*ckin' quit and

come home! f*ck it!

I mean, no one here's

gonna call you a loser.

Hey, I'm not a quitter!

Ricky? What the f*ck

is your problem?

No, listen to me.

Okay, Bubs, you just got a

few shows left, you got this.

You can do this!

You are the Bubba Lama.

We have your back. You got it?

Okay. I think I

can probably do it.

Maybe.

I love you, guys.

Love you too, man.

Love you too, Bubbly!

- Bubble-loo!

- Bubble-licious!

Bubble Lama Lama Lama!

Bubble Rama Rama!

Bubbinator!

Bubble Love Me Love Time!

- The Baconator!

- The Bubble Baconator.

Those stoned b*stards!

Oh my God.

They are right

f*ckin' out of 'er!

Right out of 'er!

This texture.

Stop f*ckin' around my bar, man.

More mushrooms?

- Yes, please.

- Okay.

I was feeling low

Drivin' extra slow

All alone, in a slump

Where the town

Meets the dump...

[reporter] This

is very beautiful.

What is it?

Oh, it's a song I've

been writing about a cat.

You know, it's

about this trucker

that finds this old wizzled up

kitty out by the dump, you know,

sort of left, left for dead.

But he takes him home

and cleans him up

and they become the, you know,

best friends for years.

But then the kitty

eventually dies, you know,

like they do and, you know,

and I think about,

I think about Vince the

Pince when I sing it

and I get a little,

little choked up, you know?

His name was Vince the Prince?

No, Vince the Pince like

a, like a pincher claw.

He had one paw and I mean,

it just looked like a,

looked like a lobster claw.

It was all floppy and gorgeous

little paw on him, you know?

And I feel like he's with

me and I just, I miss him.

I miss him every day.

I wonder if he

Misses me, I wonder

Who's gettin' His belly now?

Hope they got your favourite

types of treats up there,

little buddy.

Hey buddy.

Man, that song is

beautiful, bud.

You guys don't play

that in the set.

What is that?

No, we don't, uh,

it's just one I wrote,

you know, for myself.

I don't play it with the guys

'cause I don't know

if anybody'd like it.

It doesn't really have a,

a hook to it or whatever, but...

It's f*cking beautiful.

You ought to, man.

- Thank you.

- Yeah.

How did you know we

don't do it in the set?

Well, I watch you

from backstage.

Why? You watch us play?

Well, f*ck yeah. Every night.

I'm not a douchebag. I

watch every show. Yeah.

My god. I didn't know that.

I mean, I, I watch you

guys play every night.

You guys are unbelievable!

I appreciate it.

But yeah, that's a

beautiful song, dude.

You have to do it, man.

Hmm.

Hey, listen, um, I'm going to

talk to you a bit, alright?

Let's take a walk.

So, you're a sweet kid, I

could tell that right away.

I mean, there's a certain

innocence about you

that I just love.

And I know Tom is...

well, I know he gives

you the corn, so.

- The corn?

- Yeah, the corn.

He was shoving it up

your ass a little bit.

You know, he's a bit

too hard on you, buddy.

- You know he's a hard ass.

- Huh?

[man] You f*cked my f*ckin' dad!

Let me at the son of a b*tch!!

Frig off, man!

What the f*ck is goin' on?!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

This porky little b*tch

of yours banged my dad!

Danny! Look at me!

Shut the f*ck up!

What the f*ck's going on here?!

He banged my dad!

- He banged your dad?!

- Yeah!

Did you bang his f*ckin' dad?

I didn't bang him!

Mayhue! Mayhue! Get

the f*ck out here!

[Mayhue] What the

f*ck's going on here?

Give him the f*ckin' corn.

I didn't bang him, he banged me!

No f*cking banging

anybody, girlfriends

- or their f*ckin' dads.

- Jesus Christ!

Oh my God. I'm

sorry, everybody.

[Mayhue] It's your

last f*cking warning!

- Oh my God!

- Okay. So let's settle

the f*ck down.

And you're a f*ckin' pervert!

- Calm down!

- Danny, stop it!

I'm sorry.

Come with me, buddy.

Let's take a walk.

I'm sorry, Billy. Oh my god.

Your dad? He f*cked?

He banged my f*ckin' dad.

If you're gonna

stare down the barrel

of another man's meat m*ssile,

you better know

who the f*ck it is,

you sick m*therf*ckers!

Holy f*ck!

I'm sorry, Mayhue.

Oh my f*ck, Randy,

what did you do?!

Are you f*ckin' kidding me?!

I didn't know it was his dad!

I was just really horny, Bubs.

New rule!

You don't bang anybody,

especially older men

where it could be his dad.

I like older men.

She said what are you doing

For the rest of your life

I gotta know before

I give you my hand

I said I'm only thinking

'Bout the rest of the night

And tonight I got

A five beer plan

Tonight I've got

A five beer plan

I'm sorry about that

shit downstairs.

Keep our f*ckin' eyes

on these f*ckin' creeps.

Yeah, I know.

Decent!

Thank you everybody!

Okay, we're gonna do a,

another little ditty

about a kitty here.

This is a, uh...

Oh my f*ck!

He's got a lot of cat songs,

- doesn't he?

- Yeah.

This is no big deal, this

is, uh-oh, ah, yeah, okay.

This is a song I wrote about

a kitty that, that has...

Actually, know

what? You know what?

No, we're done for

the night, everybody.

Thanks for coming out.

[crowd booing]

Pack it up, boys!

We're leaving.

What the f*ck is that?

Nothing.

- Did you piss yourself?

- No.

Give me that!

You f*cking pissed your

pants in the g*dd*mn set!

No, I didn't,

I had a juice pack in my pocket.

It must have burst!

Jesus f*cking Christ.

That's it! Your f*cking

done. You're off the tour.

Strike three!

Frig off you big

bully. That's it!

Pants are comin' off!

Hey, f*ck off, Butterball!

I'll fight you too!

Leave him alone

you f*cking bully!

Errrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

Bubs!

Back off!

What the frig?

Holy shit, that

was straight 220!

Wake up.

Get him off my f*cking stage!

Holy f*ck, he shit himself!

Bubs wake up, buddy.

f*ckin' outta here. f*ck this.

Wake up, Bubs.

Who's got yer belly?

[Bubbles] I'm devastated.

What can I say?

I mean, I embarrassed myself

in front of all those people.

And Billy Bob hates me for sure.

So, I mean, it's

just, it's awful.

I don't think he

hates you, Bubbles.

I mean, everybody

shits themselves.

Randy, I shit

myself on his stage.

He's in the newspaper

this morning.

They called them

The Litterboxmasters

for Christ's sakes.

And they mentioned Billy by name

in conjunction

with the incident.

Holy frig! You

made the newspaper!

Ricky was right, you know that?

I mean, he said you're just

a shitty band covered in shit

and that's what

I've amounted to.

So, the dream's over.

[reporter] The

Shitrockers are no more?

Well, I can't

imagine they're gonna

wanna continue back home after

this f*ckin' embarrassment!

You don't know that

for sure, Bubs.

I mean, you know what? You

paid for them to get home.

Yeah, with every f*ckin' penny

I had to my g*dd*mn name.

I think you should call Julian.

He could probably help us.

No, I'm not calling Julian.

Not calling him 'cause

f*ckin' Ricky will be there

and I don't need him

saying 'atoadaso',

or whatever the f*ck it is

he says in these situations.

Not doin' it.

We're just gonna

have to, you know,

be big boys and hitchhike.

We'll hitchhike to London,

maybe I'll play some

songs along the way

and see if we can make

enough money to stay alive.

Maybe get a plane

ticket eventually.

You're gonna have to cut back

on the eatin' though, Randy.

It's gonna be hard.

I was feeling low

Driving extra slow

Oh, nice, Randy.

Big enough?

And you spelled it right too.

They probably are

looking at you going,

I don't want that stinky

c*cksucker in my truck.

[Bubbles] What's in there?

Did we make anything?

A little bit.

This guy's stopping,

his blinkers' on.

Decent! Come on, Randy.

So you've been driving

for a while or?

Have you been

driving for a while?

Be on high alert.

[Bubbles] Anywhere

here is just fine.

- Frig.

- f*ck!

That guy's definitely

a serial k*ller!

Yeah.

John Wayne Gacy's cousin.

His Scottish cousin.

[Randy] How much

further to London?

Further, Randy, a

lot f*ckin' further.

Bubbles, this thing's

4,000 years old,

can't we just stop for a second?

Don't give a f*ck, Randy.

Gotta get to London.

Hey, Bubbles, look, shit!

Rockers. Get it?!

I'm gonna slap you in the

tits in a minute, Randy.

This is f*ckin' terrible!

Terrible!

Maybe hide your gut, it's

probably scarin' people.

Put it over your

belly. There you go.

That guy's pulling over!

Come on, Randy!

That marmalade nose

Loved me hard

What's the point, Randy?

Come on, Bubs. You

gotta keep trying.

We gotta get home.

I don't think we're ever

gonna get home, Randy.

I think this might be

where we live now, bud.

I think we're from

Blackpool now.

Come on. Keep trying.

Who's got yer belly?

Who's got yer belly?

Cheer up, Bubs.

I got yer belly.

Who's got my belly, Randy?

My belly.

[Randy] Come on.

[Bubbles] I'll keep tryin'.

Whose getting

His belly now

We got one, Randy.

How far are we going?

Right to London if we can.

It's friggen cold.

I'd have nothing to lose

Unless I lost you

[Bubbles] Thank you. Thank you.

Holy f*ck!

Oh, finally! Some warm air!

Holy frig!

I hope my nips go back.

They're like frozen erasers!

Well have you taken

a look around, Randy?

Look at this place!

Keep your f*ckin' head

on a swivel around here.

Eyes open for stabbers.

For stabbers?

Are you still cold, buddy?

I'm not too bad right now,

actually, you know, so.

Jesus Murphy! What was that?

Calm down! It was

just a backfire, Bubs.

Okay, what are we

gonna do here, Randy?

What are we gonna

do? I'm freakin' out!

We should just get some

food at a nice restaurant

and then we can

think proper, Bubs.

- Some food?!

- Yeah.

Are you outta yer mind, Randy?

We don't have money for food,

that's every f*ckin' dime.

Holy f*ck!

- What the frig?!

- We got robbed!

Frig off, buddy!

Oh my God. Okay.

I am officially

freakin' out now, Randy.

Calm down, Bubs.

Come, come, come here.

Get off the street.

Come on. Look, look.

Look at the shack.

It looks just like

your shed, okay?

- Here, here, here.

- Okay. Yes.

Go in there.

Yes. Maybe this

will calm me down.

Get get warm in there, okay?

- Okay.

- Alright, I got this.

- Don't worry, Bubs.

- Small spaces.

- Small spaces.

- Don't worry. Look.

Oh my God, Smokey.

You're not gonna do that are ya?

Gimme two hours.

I'm gonna suck and f*ck

us a couple plane tickets

back to Sunnyvale.

You stay here, okay?

Get warm, alright?

Okay.

Suck with the wind, Randy!

You wanna party?

[man] f*ck off!

Hey, you wanna party?

Go f*ck yourself!

No. You know what?

You know what?

f*ck this!

Hey, how's it going buddy?

Hey Bubs, miss ya brother!

Shit myself on stage...

Kicked off tour...

In London. Robbed!

No money.

Randy, suckin' and f*ckin'!

Suckin' and f*ckin'?

Bubs, you gotta calm down, man.

Take a deep breath. We

can't understand you.

I am in London alone, Julian.

I'm abandoned.

I'm freaked out, and I

need you to come get me.

I'm sorry, you gotta

come right now.

Come get ya, man?

We can't come get ya,

you're on the other side

of the f*ckin' ocean!

What?!

You said you f*ckin' could!

You said you'd be here

in a matter of hours!

Bubs, we were trippin'

out on mushrooms, man.

Yeah, we just said that to make

you feel f*ckin' better, man.

Oh my f*ck! Okay!

I die in a phone

booth in London!

This is how it ends for

me right here, boys.

- This is it!

- Alright, alright!

Just calm the f*ck

down, alright?

Do you see any street

signs around ya?

Um, I think I'm at the

corner of Brick Lane

and Brick Lane and

somethin' or other.

Okay, I got it, man.

Do you see like any

landmarks or anything?

There's a great big poster of

like a scary, scary chicken

eatin' a f*ckin' human

eyeball, Julian. Okay.

Oh my God!

There's a sign that

says Whitechapel!

I'm right where f*ckin'

Jack the Ripper lives, boys!

Jack The Ripper?

Holy f*ck, man. Run!

He's f*ckin' crazy!

I saw a show on him.

He f*ckin' guts people and

then he ear fucks them!

Ricky, Ricky, would you shut up?

Just stay where you are right

there, you'll be fine. Okay?!

We'll get there as fast

as humanly possible.

Stay in the f*ckin' phone booth.

Okay. Okay. Hurry, Julian.

Just f*ckin' hurry.

I knew I never should have

f*ckin' let him go over there

on his own, man,

I f*ckin' knew it.

Go get packed.

How in the f*ck are we gonna

afford tickets to a plane?

Judy can hook us up.

Who in the f*ck is Judy?

It's a stripper I'm bangin'.

She works in an airline.

She's got these

buddy pass things.

Said she'll hook

me up anytime, man.

Alright, let's go get

f*cked up in London!

No big deal.

There's the chicken poster.

Holy f*ck!

Bubs?

f*ck, he's dead!

He's not dead. Bubs! Come on!

Let's get you outta there, man.

- Julian!

- It's us.

Thank f*ck you're okay, man.

I was worried about ya.

- You're here!

- Oh Jesus, Bubs.

You didn't run into that

Jack The Ripper c*cksucker,

did ya?

No.

f*ck, the way Julian was

talkin' you're in a w*r zone.

It's actually really

f*ckin' cool here.

It's a lot scarier at

night, boys, believe me.

Alright, let's get

the f*ck outta here.

Where's Randy?

Ah, I lost him.

He he took off.

Oh, well. Too bad. Let's go.

No, we're not leaving Randy.

He wouldn't leave me behind.

You just said he took off on ya.

No, Ricky.

He's gone with the hat and the

glasses on trying to make money.

Randy's roamin' around

here as Smokey right now?

Jack The Ripper's definitely

gonna get his big,

long f*ckin' meaty m*rder

fingers inside of him.

Like deep.

He'll be fine. He'll

make some money.

He'll come home when he wants

to, all right, let's go.

No, it's not the way this works.

We're not leaving Randy behind.

Oh, Jesus Christ, Bubbles.

Alright, how the f*ck do you

propose we do that now, huh?

I don't think he coulda

got too far, boys.

I mean, surely somebody will

recognize him from these.

We'll stay one night,

but if we don't find

him by the mornin',

we're the f*ck outta here.

We're gonna find him, Julian.

If we're staying

in London tonight,

we are definitely

getting f*cked up!

It'd be a shame to

come all this way

and not sample the

local dr*gs, boys.

Alright, let's get the rest

of these f*ckin' posters up.

And then can we

find a f*cking pub

where I can find some

rum, please, huh?

- Yes!

- Alright.

f*ckin' Randy.

Randy!

Who gives a f*ck?

Like f*ck him!

Hash, weed, mushrooms, anyone?

- You got hash?

- Let's go up there.

- Any weed? Mushrooms?

- Come on. Come on!

Does anybody in this

f*ckin' town have any hash?

Seen a guy, no shirt,

looks like a f*ckin'

gorilla walkin' around?

I haven't. Not around here.

Maybe over there.

Hey boys, I got a

few more made. Okay.

The guy in there he said down

here it's all burger shops.

Who gives a f*ck?

Guarantee that's

where he's gonna be.

This is f*cked!

Well, Ricky, what

the f*ck do you...

Hang on.

It's an unknown number.

Well answer it. It

could be f*ckin' Randy.

Hello?

Hey Bubbles, it's Billy.

Billy? Hey, how you doin'?

Oh, I'm I'm good, buddy.

How did you get my number?

Well, I'm with your

buddy, uh, Waylon,

your bass player, and

he gave me your number.

Waylon?

Um, listen, I just wanna

tell you something.

I'm really sorry the

way this went down

and, uh, I miss your

presence around here, buddy.

So where are ya?

I don't know.

I think down in the sort of

the Jack The Ripper area.

Well, I'll tell ya,

send me the address.

I'm gonna send a car for ya

'cause I gotta surprise.

We're at a real cool after-pary

and I wanna bring

you to it, okay?

Yeah, okay.

Alright buddy, we'll

see ya in a bit.

Okay, see ya Billy.

Boys, that was

Billy Bob Thornton.

He's sending a

f*ckin' car for us.

- What?

- Where the f*ck we goin'?

[Julian] My drink

is officially flat.

I need some dr*gs or this trip

has become a complete failure.

[Bubbles] Well, he said

it's a f*ckin' party, boys,

I'm sure there's dr*gs

and liquor in here.

Where the f*ck are we,

at The White House?

Wrong f*ckin' country, Rick.

Okay, hang on. Just wait.

Oh my f*ck, boys!

We're at Abbey Road!

Is that good?

This is the real Abbey Road!

I don't think I can do this!

What are you talkin'

about? Yes you can, man!

There's definitely free

booze in there, Bubs.

I'm gonna lose it, boys!

No. You know what?

Oh, Jesus Christ.

You're not pissin'

yourself again, are ya?

Nope.

Not a chance, Ricky.

You know that collar I wear

of Vince's on my wrist?

I'm wearing her somewhere else.

What? On your cock?

She's cinched down tight, baby.

Let's do this!

Let's do this.

Hey Bubbles! You made it, man.

Danny!

Who's this d*ck sandwich?

Ricky, that's him.

That's the guy?

Randy banged his dad?

Ricky! Keep your voice down.

It's a touchy subject.

Hey Danny, how's it goin'?

Good, man. How are you?

Good to see you.

- Going in here?

- Yeah, in here, bud.

So you ready for this?

["Deeper than

Holy" de Pastel]

What the f*ck is that smell?

f*ck, boys!

Abbey Road Studio 2!

I was born with this skill

Holy f*ck!

- Ricky!

- What?

Cheap Trick are

sittin' right there.

Holy f*ck! Oh my...

The first time I

banged in my trunk

I was listening to your f*ckin'

fire song with the flame.

You guys are good!

There's the bar. Let's go.

Waylon, what are you doin' here?

I told you I was

tight with Billy, man.

- I told ya.

- Does nobody smell that?

I'll take ten

double Rum & Cokes,

easy on the Coke though.

Real f*ckin' easy, alright?

You guys gettin' something?

Yeah, shove the f*ck

over there, turtle tits.

What the f*ck?

Calm down, mate.

Why don't you go paint some

cocks on telephone poles

before I shove a fork right

through your f*ckin' nose!

Bring it, pretty boy.

f*ckin' bring it.

I'll f*ckin' end

ya, you little c**t.

- Oh, you're gonna end me?

- I'll put both of you f*ckin'...

Hey, guys, what's up?

Hey, Bubbles, I'm

glad you made it.

Thanks for thanks for

bringing us in here, Billy.

This is unbelievable!

I know, it's pretty

awesome, init?

This is my friend

Martin, by the way, guys.

Yeah, Yeah, yeah.

I know who that

is, Martin Freeman.

Okay. Come on.

I thought Morgan

Freeman was black?

Not Morgan Freeman, Ricky.

Hey, listen, I want

you to meet my buddies.

This is Bubbles, everybody.

Hey.

Hey, you're the guy

who pissed himself.

No, he shit himself.

Yeah, well that was me but...

You shit yourself?

I did, Ricky!

It's amazing to meet

ya! Look at this, boys.

Hey, it's no big deal, mate.

Thanks, Ronnie.

So yeah. Hey

Mayhue, come here.

What did I say to say to him?

Hey, sorry for throwing

you off the tour.

You're not the first band creep

that piss and shit himself.

I guess everybody

deserves a fourth chance.

I appreciate that.

Is that guy with his

hairy ass hanging out,

is that Randy?!

That's what we've been smelling.

It's Randy's shit, boys.

Dressed as a clown.

And then there's the Terminator,

and then a policeman.

Two sh*ts, please.

One second, Billy.

Yeah, okay.

Oh, Bub's! Holy

frig! How you doin'?

What the f*ck are

you doing here?

We wasted the entire day

looking for your hairy ass!

What am I doing here?

What are you guys doin' here?

Excuse me, excuse me.

We came to save Bubbles 'cause

you f*ckin' abandoned him

by Jack The Ripper's house.

I should slap you tits right

off you fuckin as*h*le!

Whoa! Hey, whoa, whoa!

Who are these ruffians, Randall?

These guys they're from

Sunnyvale Trailer Park.

Sunnyvale what mm what?

The Randy that you thought

you knew is dead now.

Randy has been

reborn as Randall.

And he is mine.

Perfect.

Randall loves when

I do whale songs

- in his ears.

- Oh yeah.

We're getting along

really good, guys.

He likes it when I blow on

his little Jelly Tot nipples.

What kind of dr*gs

are you guys on?

Three, two, one, boring!

Randy, let's go and

play Space Invaders

on my vintage video console.

Okay. Don't leave

without me, guys!

What the f*ck just happened?

I don't know, Ricky, but

I'm freakin' out like...

I'm in Studio 2, like, with

these people in this building.

This is like a

f*ckin' dream, boys!

Must be a bad one, is it?

- What?

- Well, you're cryin' and shit.

No, Ricky.

No, I'm not cryin'

'cause of that.

It's like, it's like we're

on sacred ground, Ricky.

This is where the

greatest music of all time

was recorded right

here in my opinion.

f*ckin' Helix recorded here?

Not Helix, Ricky,

the greatest music of all time!

This is like, it's like

being in a f*ckin' fairytale!

You just don't get it, man.

Do you?

Well, yeah, kind of.

It just looks like a big

dumb old room to me, I dunno.

It's not though, man.

I've always dreamt

of recording here.

Like that's why I have

Tabby Road Studios,

it's named after this.

Then you have to. You have

to record a song here.

Oh yeah, Ricky,

I'd love to someday, if

I can save up the money

and it's booked

years in advance.

You can't just record here.

No, I mean, you need to record

here right the f*ck now!

What?!

Okay, strange things!

f*ck off!

Shut the f*ck up!

Just f*cking stop!

Okay. I need everybody

here to shut the f*ck up.

That's right, shut your

big f*ckin' fancy mouths.

Ricky, don't do this!

Bubs, I got this.

My name is Ricky, and you're

gonna shut the f*ck up

or I'm gonna start smashin'

everything in this room

and I might even punch a

couple people in the face

in the process.

You're definitely gettin'

punched in the f*ckin' face.

That's my best friend

over there, Bubbles.

He's been kind of f*cked

around the last couple weeks.

He got kicked off a tour

'cause he couldn't

help pissin' himself

in front of all the celebrities.

He's actually got a cat collar

cinching around

his cock right now

so that he could come in here

and not piss all

over you people.

Ricky, what the...?

Bubs, I said

relax. I got this.

He's always dreamt of

recordin' a song in here

and Bubs you're my

best friend, buddy.

I love you, and I'm gonna

make this happen for you.

f*ck.

Get up here, Bubs!

Ricky! Jesus Murphy!

Does anybody in here know how

to work this recordie shit?

Put your hand up, please!

Mr. Burns? Okay.

Get the f*ck up here, you

scarf wearing old c**t.

I might be able to

help you if you promise

not to smash the

bloody place up.

So you know how to

work this stuff?

I do.

Well let's get it

going then, d*ck Clamp.

All right.

There you go, mate.

Try this.

Alright.

Are you sure you know what

the f*ck you're doin'?

Like shouldn't he be singin'

into the top of that?

- Ricky. Ricky.

- Ah...

He knows what the

f*ck he's doin'.

It's Eddie Kramer.

He recorded f*ckin' Jimi

Hendrix and Led Zeppelin.

And The Rolling Stones

and The Beatles.

Did you ever record

Helix or Trooper?

Never.

Well, I'm not f*ckin' impressed.

Ricky.

I'm sorry about

that, Mr. Kramer.

I think your work's fantastic.

Thank you.

- Keep going.

- Okay.

Look guys, I know

this is a big ask,

but I mean, he's a sweet kid

and all he's ever wanted to

do is have a song about cats.

- Really?

- Yeah.

He's obsessed with cats.

The musical?

No, just f*ckin' cats.

He's obsessed with 'em.

- Oh.

- Yeah. One way or the other.

The point is, is

you guys are here,

he's all nerved up

and shit, you know?

So if you don't

mind to lend a hand,

maybe encourage

him a little bit.

- Yeah, yeah. Cool.

- Alright? Cool.

Okay, thanks everybody for the,

for the being quiet stuff.

This is, this is unbelievable.

I'm gonna sing a song I wrote

about the greatest thing

that's, that's ever lived.

This is a song called,

called "Kitties Are So Nice".

Right. Let's get this bloody

show on the road, shall we.

Hang on a second.

Are you sure this is

the song you wanna sing?

Are you positive?

I think so, shouldn't I?

Well, I don't know.

It's your song, okay?

Okay.

You sing whatever the

f*ck you want to sing.

When you sing that

thing backstage,

it moved me.

I swear to God, it moved me.

- Really?

- Yes, it did.

Well, I mean, I have a song

that I've never played

for anybody, ever.

And I mean, when I sing it,

it makes me cry 'cause it's

about one of my old kitties, so.

Bubbles, listen to me.

When you sing from the

heart, good things happen.

You got that, right?

- I I think so.

- Okay, good.

Go get 'em, buddy.

Okay.

Okay, um, forget what I

said before, everybody.

This is a song about,

about findin' the courage to,

to be your own person.

This is a song called,

"Standing On The

Shoulders Of Kitties".

[Eddie] Whenever

you're ready, mate.

Let's do it when

you're comfortable.

Yep.

I was never picked to be the

First one to play on the teams

Thinking that someday I'd Be

cool was just a silly dream

I was always fine just living

Letting time pass me by

But standing on the

Shoulders of my kitties

I'm learning to fly

And I'll fly high

Cause kitties catch

you When you fall

Kitties are the

ones Who know it all

And kitties love you

And they don't leave

Kitties are the Only

thing that helps

When life gets so

hard You can't breathe

Thank you. Thank you.

Okay. Okay.

Hey, buddy, that's a

sweet little song, man.

That's really nice.

And you did it, you

sang from your heart

The only thing is,

it's like a f*cking minute long.

I mean, is there any

more of it because...

Oh yeah, no, I gotta

write more of it.

I didn't, I probably shoulda

mentioned I only have a verse

- and a chorus.

- Yeah. Yeah.

You need to do a whole

song for all these people.

- Well, yeah, that...

- Yeah.

So, uh, Ronnie,

what's up, buddy?

Hey, you know it's a

nice little song, but...

You know what I would do?

What?

Something like...

Sometimes when

you're On your own

You really need a friend

Kitties know

Just what to do

Yes! Yes!

Sometimes when

you're On your own

And feel like It's the end

A kitty's love can

Make things new

Don't cry

[Bubbles] Yes! Decent!

That's... that's a song.

Come on.

Holy f*ck, that's

turnin' into a song!

Oh my God!

Yes! Yeah, that's nice that.

What?

Nice. Nice.

f*ck! Duff! That's Duff!

I know, right? That's him.

Ah!

I told ya man, they

love ya, Bubbles.

[Bubbles] Hey, maybe we could

do like a big outro thing,

like get everybody singin',

maybe like "A Kitty's

Love Is All It Takes."

Two, three, four!

Let's let's sing.

A kitty's love

Is all it takes

La, la, la, la, la

Decent!

A kitty's love

Is all it takes

La, la, la, la, la

Boys! Boys, come up!

A kitty's love

Is all it takes

La, la, la, la, la

A kitty's love

Is all it takes

La, la, la, la, la

Blah, blah, blah, yeah, Bubs?

A kitty's love

Is all it takes

La, la, la, la, la

Woo!

A kitty's love

Is all it takes

La, la, la, la, la

All you need is

love From kitties!

A kitty's love

Is all it takes

La, la, la, la, la

A kitty's love

Is all it takes

La, la, la, la, la

A kitty's love

Is all it takes

A kitty's love

Is all it takes

La, la, la, la, la

[Bubbles] Woo! Shit rocks!

A kitty's love

Is all it takes

La, la, la, la, la

Holy f*ck!

[Bubbles] Decent!

Kitty! Kitty!

Ronnie, what did you

think about tonight?

What'd ya think I thought?

I don't remember.

I don't remember.

Mr. Kramer, how do you

feel about the sound?

Bloody marvelous.

Ah, that was a very weird thing.

I mean, I'm not quite sure

that they're, um,

meant to be here?

I don't mean in England,

I mean sort of out

in the community.

But, so yeah, I,

I'm a bit confused by it.

I dunno how Billy

knows 'em, but um...

Am I okay with Bubbles?

I love Bubbles.

I mean, he's, uh,

he can be a little

f*ckin' weird,

you know, but...

I mean, who's not?

It was f*ckin' awesome.

And I feel great because

none of this would've

happened without me.

What are ya talkin' about?

The only reason why

we're here is...

Because of my pot plant!

I am the manager.

That's why we're here.

I started this band!

Who's got a drink?

Who doesn't?

They may have won the battle

by taking Randall back to

Sunnyvale Trailer Park.

But I will win the w*r.

Randall, I'm coming for you,

my little Shnooky-kins.

You got Ronnie Wood,

you got Rick Nielsen,

Billy Bob Thornton,

but you got Bubbles too.

Bubbles. I mean, Bubbles.

Oh, I mean,

if somebody told me f*ckin',

you know,

30 years ago that I was gonna be

in Abbey Road with

all these people

and you know,

playin' this song

and they're all helping me out,

I would've f*ckin' said

"Suck my nuts from

Sunday to Monday

'cause it's not true."

And it happened!

It f*ckin' happened here tonight

at Abbey Road. Unbelievable!

["Kitties are So Nice"

[by Bubbles and

The Shitrockers]

Every day, I thank the Lord

And maybe Jesus as well

[Baby Jesus our Lord]

For helping me turn my

shed into a kitty cat hotel

Kitties are so nice

[Kitties are so nice]

Kitties are so nice

[Kitties are so nice]

Get them down

Spin them round

Tickle their bellies

Not once but twice

Kitties kitties

Kitties are so nice

f*ck, I love kitties.

["The Wrong Week

to Quit Drinking"

[by Bubbles and

The Shitrockers]

Well I had me a lady

But she done took off

My cigarette pack is empty

But she left me her cough

I ain't showered in days

People say I'm stinkin'

I sure picked the wrong

week To quit drinkin'

Step right into the saloon,

ma'am. Watch your step

Hot Country 103.5.

Richie Spinz with

the afternoon g*ons.

We're back! Okay hotshots,

I'm gonna get real with

you for one moment.

If there's a single

word that describes

the Richie Spinz

philosophy, it's integrity.

And that's how I knew the moment

Bubbles walked into my life

the kid had hit

written all over him.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

That's not how I remember it.

You are rewriting

history here, Richie.

Was I or was I not the first DJ

to play Bubbles

for the first time?

- First time any DJ played Bubbles...

- That's selective memory.

Case closed! Fake news!

Alright, from Tabby

Road to Abbey Road,

"Standing On The

Shoulders Of Kitties",

number one with a b*llet!

By Bubbles!

Lay off the cocaine, buddy.

Boom goes the dynamite!

Richie, you need help.

I know.

f*ck!

- Oh f*ck!

- What the f*ck?

f*ck! f*ck!

Jesus Christ!
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