Sick (2022)

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Sick (2022)

Post by bunniefuu »

Attention shoppers,
CBC guidelines

are in full effect.

Please prep social
distancing while shopping.

Hey, you guys have any
toilet paper in the back?

What you see is what we got?

Really, dude?

d*ck.

You're f*cking welcome.

Please follow three arrows

to remain six feet
apart at all times.

Face mask
must be worn at all times.

We encourage shoppers to use

touchless payment options.

- Hey, man.
- Sorry.

- Where's your mask at, bro?
- Sorry. Sorry, man.

Who the f*ck is this?

Listen, f*ck you and your
stalker bullshit.

And the
stay-at-home order is that

most states have implemented.

Another state today issued

a stay-at-home order,
South Carolina.

That brings the total number of
Americans under such an order,

the total percentage to more
than 97% of the country.

Still there are seven states

that don't have
an order in place,

Arkansas, Iowa, North Dakota

Nebraska, South Dakota,
Utah, and Wyoming.

You should know that
Dr. Anthony Fauci

said this evening
that Iowa and Nebraska

have instituted rules very
similar to stay-at-home orders.

The other treat tonight, the
treat to our front line

defenders in hospitals
who tested positive for virus,

and the medical supplies
that multiple governors

say they must outbid
each other for.

Illinois governor said today
that what his state is getting

for strategic national
stock pile is, quote,

mere fraction
what we asked for...

Jesus, what the fuc...

Get the f*ck off me.

No, no, no, no.

No!

Help! Somebody!

No! Ah!

Oh, f*ck!

f*ck you.

f*ck you.

f*ck you.

Okay.

Oh, come on.

Okay.

Okay.

Where's your mask?

Keep it on. We're about
to get in the car.

I'm sorry. I didn't think
I had to wear it outside.

Droplets can float eight feet
in the air. Put the mask on.

Miri, I already ran through
all my symptoms.

I've no cough.
I'm breathing fine. No fever.

And I can still taste
that garlic

from last night's linguini.

This isn't a joke, Parker.

Okay. Better?

This isn't a vacation,
it's a quarantine.

A quarantine in style.

Dude, I need to know
that you're serious.

I'm going home after this.

My dad won't make it
if he's infected.

I am. Okay? Pinky promise.

But just relax.

We can still have a little bit
of fun, right?

Right?

Maybe. If you're lucky.

Are you kidding me?

This is beautiful.
It just sits empty?

Well, my dad comes up here
once a year

to get drunk with his
man-friends. Tsk.

I told mom to rent it out,
but no go.

I stand corrected.
This is incredible.

Sick. Disgusting.

And it's all ours.

The only neighbor
is the Lyons' cabin,

which is about two miles
that way around the lake.

So you don't have to worry
about anyone or their droplets.

Holy sh*t.

Seriously, I'm speechless.

I told you. I know how to 2020.

Yo, is there a Wi-Fi password?

Um... Bookcase. Taped to the
router under the stereo.

- Because I'm posting this sh*t.
- sh*t.

Dude...

This place is awesome.

I love this.

Hello, it's freezing.
You said it's gonna be warm.

I said there would be sun.

It's April,
you can't have it all.

To quarantine. Boo!

Oop, everyone's conversing
about that guy in your Insta.

Benji.

I don't know,
he's actually really cute.

And I would've kept him
a little while longer

if he hadn't completely
ghosted me.

- Is DJ mad about it?
- Who cares?

Bitch, you care. You just don't
want to admit it.

I don't care.

And if DJ cares,
you know that's his own problem.

Okay.

Miri.

"Jump in. Water's fine."
What the f*ck? Who is this?

I don't know. I got one earlier
on today saying, "Having fun?"

That's f*cking creepy, Parker.

Could just be DJ using

one of his frat friend's phone.

He's probably just trying to
f*ck with us, right?

Hmm, I don't know,
could be anyone.

Guess we both posted we
were coming to the lake, so...

Okay, blocked. Problem solved.

...and really working closely
with the state.

But we really have to make sure
we can contact trace rapidly.

Obviously, you know, including
yourself and Dr. Fauci...

Fauci, drink.

Great.

Ah!

So we have, uh,
at taskforce level, we have...

Deborah Birx is kind of a babe.

Uh, Doctor Birx.

Okay, what sorority
would you peg her for?

Uh...

Gamma Phi.

She loves
her scarves, dude.

Uh...

Did you invite other people?

No, I told you I wouldn't.

Maybe it's like... Postmates?
With the wrong address?

Not possible. We're the only
people around here.

Who is that?

I don't know.

Why is he just sitting there?

I'll go see what's up.

Oh. Do not go out there.

Why, are you scared?

Yes, I'm scared. It could be
Jason Vorhees out there.

Impossible.
It's Saturday the 4th.

It's probably just one of my
Dad's friends checking on us.

You know my Mom's paranoid...

Wait.

What?

Miri's not playing.

What?

Who's there?

I... identify yourself!

f*ck it. Give me the Kn*fe.

Give me the Kn*fe.

Be careful.

Hello?

Hello?

Where'd he go?

I... I don't like this...

Oh, my God.

DJ?

- What the f*ck, you assh*le?
- Shh!

Why didn't you answer us before?

'Cause I'm on the phone.
On the phone.

Oh. Sir, yeah, I appreciate
the opportunity.

Um... if you need to see any
more illustrations or designs,

I could totally...

Oh...

Yeah... yeah, no... no worries.

Alright, have...

Hello?

What are you doing?

Trying to get an internship
for the fall.

No, no, no...
DJ, what are you doing here?

Oh! You came all this
way to see me, DJ?

That is so, so sweet.
I... i... it's so good to...

What the f*ck are you
doing in my house?

Okay, okay, okay.

I... just, I wanted to see you.

Why didn't you announce
yourself?

'Cause I was on the phone,
Your Highness.

Okay. And your mask?

I...

I thought you were spending
quarantine alone?

- Alone with Miri, yes.
- Hi. Yep, that's me.

Whose truck is that outside?

I... I borrowed Jackson's.

Mine's leaking
transmission fluid.

Okay.

You know you could've
called or texted

before you just showed up here.

Well, you would've said no.

I would've said "no"
because I wanted to be alone!

With me.

Look, are really going
to make me leave?

After I drove all this way?

Fine! Fine!

If you respect the six feet rule
and put your f*cking mask on.

How'd you know I was here?

Your Instagram.

You're a compulsive
poster, Parker.

And then, I remembered
that time we came out here,

and I met your mom and dad...

I was feeling pretty nostalgic.

And... I was kinda hoping
we could talk about some...

What do you wanna talk about?

Oh, well, you see,
I could tell you, Miri.

But you'd have to get really,
really, really close to me.

Ha. Ha. Ha.

What are you making?

I haven't named it yet.

Literally how people get sick.

We're too young to get sick.
You should know that, Dr. Miri.

Young people are
testing positive, too.

Spring break in Miami
did not turn out well.

Hope I could have my own
individual joint,

I might possibly partake.

Oh!

Okay.

The basement is calling.

What's in the basement?

So back home, we have all of
these strawberry patches, right.

So you can basically pick
your own strawberries

and then pay by the basket.

It's real nice.

So, my Aunt Libby's
sister-in-law's cousin

has a niece who knew this lady

who pulled over
to pick some strawberries,

and she had her newborn baby
in her car with her, right.

So she gets out of the car

and she leaves the baby in the
car seat with her milk bottle

and leaves the door open,
so she can hear the

baby cries or anything.

Well, the mom,
she's picking berries,

time goes by,
and then it occurs to her

that the baby
hasn't made a sound.

So she goes to check and
you know what she finds?

She finds a snake in
the baby's mouth.

What? Oh, God.

Yeah, and the mom
freaks out,

and so she pulling the snake,
but she doesn't realize

how far down the baby's throat
the snake has crawled.

So when she pulls the snake out,
the baby's insides come with it.

Baby intestines
were everywhere...

Oh, my God.
That's so f*cking gross!

True story. Swear to God.

Yeah. That's anatomically
impossible.

No, 'cause, 'cause...

I don't think a snake can crawl
into a baby's mouth, right?

Well, hold on. No.

That's not true.

'Cause the... the baby
just had milk, right?

And snakes are attracted
to milk,

and my Aunt Libby is a Christian
who doesn't lie.

Okay, um...

Hate to break it to you, but

Aunt Libby's story is
an old urban legend

that migrated from Europe
which derived

from a folktale called
the "Bosom Serpent."

Well, Miri.

Once again, your brain has
ruined a perfectly good time.

I'm sorry to hear that
because I had so much fun,

but I'm going to bed.

Goodnight, guys.

Yeah, I'm dead.

Hey, pancakes in the morning?

Oh, my God, he thinks
he's getting breakfast...

So...

Yes.

Quarantine can be fun, you know?

You mean, yeah, it was until
you showed up, uninvited.

Yeah, well, you know
why I'm here.

I honestly don't, so say just...

you know, say what's on
your mind or I'm going to bed.

Fine.

Hey!

Who the f*ck is this clown?

Oh, God. Benji.

One of their roommates
I coaxed out

of his room
to come to the party.

So he was nice and hot.

Did you two hook up?

Well, okay, do you, like, care
about this Benji dude or what?

It doesn't matter
if I did or didn't.

We were never exclusive, DJ.
I can do what I want.

And what you wanted to do was
make out with a random dude

in front of three friends
of mine that are

all addicted to social media.

Yeah, you wanted me
to see this, Parker.

I'm sorry if I did something
to offend you.

You're not sorry.
You're not.

You want me to be angry.

And it's f*cked up
that you're constantly

trying to piss me off.

So you haven't hooked up with
half of Pi Phi since Thursday?

- No. I haven't.
- Well, you should have.

That was our deal, DJ.

We're not a couple, that's the
message I'm trying to convey.

Yeah, but we have something
and you know it,

or else you wouldn't be
trying to sabotage it.

Jesus, why does
everybody trying to

f*cking analyze me all the time?

I'm not, I'm not.
I just want you to be honest.

That's all I ask, Parker.

Okay.

There's something between us.

Yeah, and it's real.

- It's late. I'm going to bed.
- Hey...

Um...

I'm sorry.

I know you drove all this way,

but you're not going to hear
what you want to hear.

Okay.

I'll leave in the morning
and...

Goodnight, DJ.

Damn!

It's okay.

How'd it go with DJ?

Nah.

Was he mad about the post?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Well, you got what you wanted.

It's obvious. He loves you.

You should let him.

But you're not going to, huh?

Probably not.

You are text book, Parker.

You're shut off from anything
close to a feeling.

You're emotionally distancing.

Thank you for the
bed-time psychobabble.

It's fine,
you can keep deflecting.

I'm gonna keep poking you
because I love you.

Great.

Mañana.

I know you're just
trying to help.

And it just...

It doesn't seem like it,
but... I am listening.

Love you!

Get out of here.

Parker?

Seriously?

DJ...

Shh-shh!

There's somebody in the house.

Where's your phone?

It's gone.

Mine, too.

- Miri.
- Hey, no, no, no, wait, wait.

Can you get down from there?

- Yeah, yeah!
- Okay. Okay.

Take the keys, I'll get Miri.

Go!

Miri! Miri!

No! No!

DJ!

Miri, go!

- Miri, go!
- Okay.

Who is that guy?

I don't know.

f*ck you, dude.

Go!

Oh, my God! Where's DJ?

He's coming.

He's hurt. He's hurt.

Miri.

Miri, be ready to g*n it.

Parker, be careful, okay?

Parker, come on!

Go!

He's onto us!

f*ck, let's go!

- Come on, Miri!
- God, it's stuck.

Parker, it's struck.

Go!

Oh, my God. What's he doing?

Oh, f*ck!

- Oh, let's go!
- This way!

Miri, go!

- Hurry.
- Let's go! Let's go!

Ah! Go, hurry!

We need a f*cking phone.

We need a f*cking phone!

- We're trapping ourselves.
- Trust me.

We used to do this
when we I was a kid.

f*ck, it's stuck.
Please help me.

Okay.

Why is he doing this?

I don't know.
He's f*cking crazy.

No!

Parker!

f*cking assh*le.

What are you... Parker?

Parker, I can't. I can't.

This is too high.

No, it's not. Just follow
exactly what I'm doing.

I can't...

Okay.

Oh, f*ck! Oh!

No. No!

Miri!

Oh, God!

f*ck!

f*ck! f*ck!

Get off me!

No!

Parker! Parker, it's broken.

- Can you get up?
- It's broken. I can't move.

It's not just one guy.
There's two of them.

- Where is he?
- He's in the kitchen.

- Act dead.
- Don't leave. Don't leave me.

You can do it. Do it now.

Okay?

sh*t!

f*ck!

f*ck!

Mr. Lyons!

My God!

I'm going to give you
to the count

of five to get out of my house.

Or I will sh**t you dead,
you understand? One...

Mr. Lyons, please,
he's trying to k*ll me.

- We have to call the police...
- Two...

Mr. Lyons, my family lives
in the house across the lake...

- Four...
- I grew up... Carly!

Your daughter's name is Carly
and you used to take us tubing.

Uh... You're Miranda's kid?

We have to call
the police, please!

- I need to use your phone.
- Come on there.

Come on there, phone's this way.

f*ck! Get off of me.

Help! Help!

Ow!

Please help me! Stop.
Stop! Help me!

Oh, my God.
Are you alright?

- What's going on?
- He's trying to k*ll me!

Just one moment.

- Who's that man?
- I don't know.

- Where's your mask?
- What?

Your mask. You have a mask,
don't you? Your mask?

No, I don't have a f*cking mask.

Oh, then I can't let you in.
It's... it's not safe.

Are you f*cking
kidding me, lady? Please!

Well, let me check,
I may have an extra.

Lady, please.

Yes, okay, here.

Put... put this on!

It's... it's sterile.

Okay, hurry up, get in.

Unlock the door!

- Unlock the door!
- Okay.

Drive, please, lady.

This mask...

smells like...

Chloroform?

Parker!

- Where do you want her?
- Over there.

Ah!

Okay, hold still.

Okay.

Now we wait.

Where's Jeb? Where is he?

He's in the kitchen.

Oh, no, no, no, no!

That boy in the kitchen...

he's my son,

and you k*lled him.

She did a lot more
than that.

Do you know why we're here?

That video is compliments
of @LoriLegs21,

#EndOfTheWorldParty,

CovidOnMyFace.

#2020SucksDonkeyDick.
#FuckCovid.

She's not figuring it out.

Did you enjoy
the party, Parker?

Do you even remember it?

Do you know the boy
you were kissing?

Benji?

Just Benji?

Benji is just some guy
we met at the party.

You're very intimate
with someone that you just met.

So what?

I made out with
some guy at the party!

I don't even know.

It didn't mean anything!

Maybe not to you.

So selfish your generation.

I mean, heaven forbid you miss a
keg party or... or spring break.

Who the f*ck are you people?

That boy that
you were kissing, Benji,

he... he's my youngest son.

He was one of the seven people
you infected at that party.

Was? Pamela: Three days ago...

Benji d*ed alone
in a hospital bed.

But, I don't...

I don't have it.

I told you she wouldn't
admit to anything.

I know, show her the test.
Show her the test

Honey, it takes a few minutes.

You people are f*cking crazy.

- And you're f*cking dead!
- No!

How does it feel

to not know when you're gonna
get your last breath?

To feel like you're going to
die, scared and alone?

How does that feel?

It could've been anyone. I...

I'm not sick...

You infected that party!

We even did the tracing and we
found the man who gave it you.

Tyler Murphy.

But don't worry,
we took care of him.

I'm not sick!
I don't have COVID!

Well, you're positive.

You're asymptomatic.

Oh, no, no, no...

Don't cry.

Take responsibility
for your selfishness.

This didn't have to happen.

I mean, where was
your f*cking mask?

Where was his?

This is your fault!

It's your fault, you hear me.

You did this!

Hon, your mask.

What about DJ?

And my friend Miri, huh?

What did they do?

Well, per CDC guidelines,

you were meant
to quarantine alone,

so that is on you.

What the hell?

What? What is it?

Someone's using the Wi-Fi.

It has to be the friend.

- She's dead.
- Make sure. Make sure.

Goddammit!

Oh!

Oh, my God!

You don't want Miri.

You want me.

She doesn't deserve this. I do.

Wow! Look who suddenly found
some integrity.

Please, you can do what
ever you want with me.

Just don't hurt her.

How do you think you're going to
get away with this?

The police will find you.

Your fingerprints,

DNA is everywhere.

Irresponsible girls
can cause irresponsible

fires that burn down the house.

Fires happen all the time.

It's tragic.

We have to go.

sh*t!

Come on. Okay, this way.

Where the f*ck are you?

Pam!

Pamela!

Let's go!

- They destroyed the cars.
- Doesn't matter.

Come on!

Be calm, it's okay. It's okay.
We're gonna be okay.

Okay! f*ck!

Keys are in it.

Hit the door.

- Careful.
- Okay.

Try and start it.

Alright. Battery's good.

This is not working.
Battery's not working.

It might need fuel.

Got it.

I'll f*cking k*ll you!

You k*lled him!

Get out there.
It's all your f*ckin' fault!

I said I was sorry!

Miri, Miri. Miri!
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