02x10 - The Killbox

[bunniefuu]

[insects trilling]

Um... isn't Whitestone
supposed to be here?

This is the right valley.

But where's it gone?

[Vex sighs] What's with cities
up and moving this week?

[wind whistling]

Hmm.

♪ ♪

Maybe it didn't move.

[whooshing]

[Kima] The dragons
are on the move.

They've already taken
Emon and Westruun.

[Allura] Our defenses
are holding steady

for now, but Gilmore and I
will need help soon.

Hiding the city
was never meant

to be a permanent solution.

I can't speak for Allura,

but keeping
this cloaking spell up

is m*rder on my complexion.

I am fully aware
of our situation.

But for now,

concealing Whitestone
is the only way to protect it.

[Percy] Well, whatever
you're doing, Cass,

- I'm pleased to see it's worked.
- [people gasping]

Percy.

[Allura] Vox Machina.

After three weeks,
we'd started to give up hope.

Three weeks?

We've only been gone three days.

I hate the bloody Fey Realm.

Well, despite
your temporal hiccup,

I'm relieved you're back.

[kisses]

Oh, and with
a new look. [laughs]

[chuckles] Something like that.

Happy to see you as well, Shaun.

[Kima] So, uh...

where's everyone else?

[chuckling] Funny story.
I... kind of lost them.

[snorts] It's...

It's really not that funny.

We were separated from the
others when Umbrasyl att*cked.

They could be anywhere.

Then perhaps I can help you
find your friends.

Show me what is lost.

[Vex] Oh, okay, they're alive.

[Keyleth] Um, but
who are those guys?

[Vex] Grog doesn't seem
to be hiding.

Did he get... smaller?

Huh, glad I'm not the only one
who's thinking it.

Oh, no. He appears
to be in Westruun.

Westruun?

My diplomats report the dragon
Umbrasyl has taken up there.

Most of the locals
have fled or...

[imitates slicing blade]

[chuckles]

[Vax] Then Grog
could be in deep sh*t.

♪ ♪

Strongjaw.

Hello, Uncle.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

I didn't think it was possible
for you to get any smaller

than the puny boy
I pummeled years ago.

[growls]

[laughing]

It appears I've angered
the dead man.

[the Herd laughing]

I'm here to finish
what you started.

Never pick a fight
you can't win.

History won't remember
a blood smear on anyone's axe.

You think history
will remember you?

I'm told a dragon
made the mighty Kevdak,

wielder of the
Titanstone Knuckles,

bend the knee.

So tell me, Uncle,

do you still have
your shriveled nutsack,

or did you give that
to the dragon, too?

[the Herd exclaiming]

Best make your point while
you still have your head.

[Grog] Fine.

I've come to restore
honor to this Herd,

so I challenge you, Kevdak,

to single combat.

[grunts]

I accept.

- [cheering]
- [Herd member] Get him!

- [Herd member] Come with me.
- [whooping]

[Herd member] Clear them
a square.

[Herd member ] Make it
a ring.

sh*t, can't believe
he went in there alone.

We got to do something.

[Kaylie] And what
do you suggest?

[Scanlan] Kaylie.

I thought I told you
to get out of here.

Ugh, and miss all the fun?

[Kevdak] The rules of
Herd combat are thus:

The fight ends
when someone dies.

End of rules.

Good. 'Cause I can't keep track
of any more than that.

[laughter]

What w*apon did you
bring today, Nephew?

Uh.

Oh. Oh, sh*t.

Uh... I'm kind of between
weapons at the moment.

[chuckles] You know how it is.

Very well.

- Show me what you got.
- [crackling]

[grunting]

[growling]

[crackling]

Ooh!

[cheering]

[labored breathing]

[panting]

[crackling]

[shouts]

[Pike] We got to get in there.

[gasps] You should stay back.

I'm not letting you
out of my sight.

[distant cheering]

[exhales] Fine.

Ahh!

[groaning]

[grunts]

[Kevdak] What do we have here?

- [Herd member] Grab her, get her!
- [gasps]

- [grunts]
- Kaylie!

[grunting]

No, leave 'em!

[grunting]

- [the Herd laughing]
- [Pike moaning]

[Kevdak] You invite your friends
to watch you die?

They're more than just friends.

You are joking, right?

[whooping]

[laughter]

[roaring]

[screams]

[cheering]

[Grog gasping]

[shouting]

[Kevdak] Come here, you.

[Pike grunts]

I should've known.

You always did have a soft spot
for the wee folk.

[groaning]

- [grunting]
- [laughter]

Who wants to watch
the bitch's head squash?

- [cheering]
- No!

This is between you and me.

You did this, Grog.

The moment you set foot
in this city,

you brought death
to your friends.

Buddies!

[grunting]

Pike!

[grunting]

[Groon] Grog Strongjaw.

Where does
your strength come from?

Where does
your strength come from?

What?

What strength?

Can't you see how weak I am?

[echoing] Where does
your strength come from?

Grog!

[groans]

I need you.

I...

...would like...

...to...

[roaring] ...rage!

[gasping]

[panting]

[roaring]

[grunting]

Don't ever hurt my...

- Pike!
- [crackling]

- [cheering]
- That's adorable.

Tiny Grog still has
some fight in him.

Oops.

Looks like I do, too.

[grunting]

Ah!

[grunts]

[gasps]

Ahh!

- [groans]
- Nothing's changed, Grog.

Still the meek coward
who ran crying for the hills.

[crackling]

What made you think
you could stop me?

F... friends...

What was that?

[Grog] My strength...
comes from my friends.

[laughing]

[laughter]

[g*n clicks]

[Kevdak] Well, too bad, Grog.

They couldn't save you.

Yeah, but the thing is...

[spits] ...I got more.

Vox Machina...

[roaring]

[Grog] ...f*ck sh*t

up!

[grunting]

Scanlan's hand!

You heard the man.

[heavy metal music playing]

[shouts]

- [Scanlan] ♪ Ow! ♪
- [roars]

Bleed 'em.

[clamoring]

♪ Rage, rage, rage ♪

♪ Release a hell upon you ♪

♪ A beast without a cage ♪

♪ Realize the demons
are comin' ♪

♪ When we all rage ♪

[clamoring]

[roars]

♪ Rage, rage, rage ♪

♪ Just when you think
that you're winnin' ♪

♪ And there's no escape ♪

♪ We turn the tables
and f*ck you up ♪

♪ When we all rage ♪

[grunting]

♪ Rage ♪

♪ Rage ♪

♪ Rage ♪

♪ Ooh... ♪

[shouts]

[roars]

♪ We get what we want ♪

♪ Take what we need ♪

♪ Bring mothafuckas
to their knees ♪

♪ Get what we want ♪

♪ Take what we need ♪

♪ Never stop even when
you're beggin' us "please!" ♪

[clamoring]

♪ We all have to rage ♪

♪ No stoppin' us now, mothafuckas ♪

♪ When we all rage ♪

♪ Rage ♪

- The gauntlet!
- ♪ Rage ♪

♪ Rage ♪

♪ We all have to rage,
mothafuckas ♪

♪ We all have to rage ♪

♪ No stoppin' us now,
mothafuckas ♪

♪ When we all rage ♪

♪ Rage, rage ♪

♪ Rage ♪

[groaning]

[the Herd gasps]

[groaning]

[panting]

[shouts]

That is badass.

[shouting]

Herd of Storms,

do not let these weaklings
get the better of you.

[grunts]

End this.

[clamoring]

[grunts]

This isn't going well.

Ooh!

♪ ♪

[panting]

[grunting]

Son.

Father.

Gods, I hope this works.

[Vex] Come on, Trinket,
I need the space.

[roars]

Grog, want to try
something crazy?

f*ck yeah.

Show him who you are!

For...

Strongjaw!

[grunting]

♪ ♪

[Herd member] Wha...

[moaning]

[Pike] Grog!

No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Grog groaning]

Hello, buddies.

[sighs] We got to work
on your landings.

[grunting]

[crackling]

[the Herd chanting] Strongjaw,
Strongjaw.

[louder chanting] Strongjaw.
Strongjaw.

Strongjaw. Strongjaw. Strongjaw.

Strongjaw.

Strongjaw. Strongjaw. Strongjaw.

Strongjaw.

Herd of Storms...

[groans] ...it's done.

Kevdak is done.

You're free now.

[Zanror] So what, Cousin?

You're in charge now.

Zanror, it's been a while.

Why the shackles?

I finally stood up
to the old man.

Like you, I paid a price.

Do what you have to.

[crackling]

[gasps]

You were once
like a brother to me.

And I see you have the strength

to do what your father
could never do:

Lead with honor.

Which is why...

...Zanror will now be known

as Thunderlord
of the Herd of Storms.

[the Herd cheering]

Me?

But what will you do?

Oh, nothing.
Maybe k*ll a dragon.

Care to join me?

[chuckles]

[indistinct chatter]

[laughter]

[gulping]

Ah! [laughing]

[whoops]

Oy. I almost k*lled you
out there.

I know. I nearly sh*t myself.

- Me too. [laughing]
- [cheering]

[laughter]

Give us a tune to celebrate.

[cheering]

Okay, okay.
An oldie but a goodie.

To the end of Kevdak
and the start of something new.

Boys.

♪ Oh ♪

♪ I came across a lovely lass ♪

♪ Shimmy-i-shimmy-i-o... ♪

[Keyleth] So then Vex
and Vax saw their dad

and yeesh, it was awkward.

And blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, here we are.

W-Wait, what about the vestige?
Was it hard to get?

No, no. It was easy.

[gulping]

So easy.

[laughter]

[whooping]

[crowd shouting]
[sighs]

[grunts]

Uh...

[cawing]

[gasps]

Hey, you. I've been thinking,

and...

Do you want to dance? With me?

Uh, that's all right.

Maybe some other time.

Uh...

Okay, um...

[clicks tongue] Rain check.

[upbeat song continues]

Was that too much?
I thought I was being cool.

- [Grog] Kaylie, get up here.
- [gulping]

♪ I met a boy
who was just my type ♪

♪ Shimmy-i-shimmy-i-o ♪

♪ But in the bed
couldn't satisfy ♪

♪ Shimmy-i-shimmy-i-o ♪

♪ Oh, he tried ♪

♪ But he left me high and dry... ♪

Right. We need
to take out Umbilical.

- Umbrasyl.
- f*ck. Him, too.

But now's our chance.

We got the Herd on our side.

Ooh, I've been
itching for payback.

Maybe it's time
the Conclave feels

the might of the Herd of Storms.

To glory?

To blood.

[both grunt]

[gulping]

Now, the dark one comes to town

every couple of days
to collect his tithe.

Might be a good
opportunity for a trap.

A trap, you say?

I could sketch up
a few diagrams,

work out the proper leverage
and counterbalance.

[grunts]

My Herd!

[music stops]

I know we long to roam again.

But we claim Westruun
as our home for one more night.

At dawn, we shall
whet our blades

against the hide of a dragon!

[cheering]

[Percy] Uh, we might need

a little more time than that.

My contraptions tend
to have a lot of gears

and moving bits...

[Grog] And there's the drinking.

We need more time for drinking.

At noon, we shall
whet our blades.

At dawn we plan.

Wait, we got to wake up at dawn?

It's fine, we can discuss
the timeline later.

[cheering]
♪ When your meat's in heat ♪

♪ And you need release ♪

♪ That's when you need to ♪

- ♪ Grip it ♪
- ♪ Whip it ♪

♪ And make the bald man cry ♪

[cheering]

[whoops, laughs]

We make such lovely
harmony together.

Care for one more encore?

Actually, I could use a break.

- Escort me upstairs?
- Hmm.

[indistinct chatter]

[Scanlan laughing] Then...
and then,

I disguised us all
as cows. [laughing]

- [laughs]
- I know. Brilliant, right?

Tell me, Scanlan Shorthalt,

how did you, of all people,
find yourself

overthrowing tyrants
and slaying dragons?

[smacks lips] Ah,
you know, I mean,

the life of an entertainer
brings endless adventure,

freedom,

and exploration.

Ooh, that sounds fun.

But do you know
what's even more fun?

Ooh, bondage?
Me like-y. [chuckles]

Also not opposed to being called
daddy if the mood suits, hmm?

I've been wanting
to do this for a while now.

Ooh. Do you, uh...
Do you feel that?

That's chemistry.
And we have it.

We sure have something.

So, uh, tell me about yourself,
beautiful Kaylie,

eyes like the Marquesian sun.

I'm actually not
too different from yourself.

I grew up in Kymal,
but I moved around a lot.

Ooh.

My mum gave up all her
savings for my education.

[chuckles] Uh, oh, oh, yeah?
Moms are the best.

[Kaylie chuckles] Mine
certainly was.

You know, Dr. Dranzel spun
many a tale about you,

Scanlan Shorthalt.

Yeah, I mean,
that's not surprising.

That guy seemed like
a bit of a fanboy.

[Kaylie] But most of his stories

I'd already heard...
from my mother.

Huh.

You, uh... You must
make her quite, quite proud?

[laughing]

[laughing] Yeah.

[Kaylie] Aye.

She would be proud.

Proud I'm finally meeting
the silver-tongued devil

who whispered empty promises
in her ear, then disappeared.

Leaving her with
nothing but a song.

And me.

Wait...

...I'm daddy?

[Scanlan] ♪ Oh, I came
across a lovely lass ♪

♪ Shimmy-i-shimmy-i-o ♪

♪ A farmer's daughter
with some sass ♪

♪ Shimmy-i-shimmy-i-o ♪

♪ Oh, I begged her
to let me spend the night ♪

♪ She answered "no,"
so I wandered home ♪

♪ That's when
my bald man cried ♪

[Kaylie] ♪ When you're
pattin' the bunny ♪

♪ Or flickin' the bean ♪

♪ Or strummin'
the ole clamjo ♪

♪ When they can't keep up,
just touch your stuff ♪

♪ Don't make his bald man cry ♪

[Scanlan] ♪ When you're
burpin' the worm ♪

[Kaylie] ♪ Or butterin'
your muffin ♪

[Scanlan] ♪ Or spankin'
the monkey ♪

[both] ♪ Or in a menage a moi ♪

♪ When your meat's in heat
and you need release ♪

♪ That's when you need to ♪

[Scanlan] ♪ Grip it ♪

[Kaylie] ♪ Whip it ♪

♪ And make the bald man cry ♪

[cheering]

Chirp.