Sex is Zero (2002)

[bunniefuu]

Notification

Fire!

Sex is zero

Ah! Rewind.
She's not Christy!

Aaugh! sh*t!

Where the hell
Darwhan get this CD?

Who's Christy?

Chansu, Ah!
Shut up, if you don't know!

Waw, what the...
He's like a horse!

Aah, Can't believe! Ugh.

- Aughh! Yucky! Stop it!
- No way!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Where's he sticking that thing?

Aah! You w*nk*r!

Mouse! Mouse!

I caught it.

What are you guys scared of,
be men

I'm a monster!

Coming soon!

What's happening?

I haven't swallowed it yet.

Where'd that mouse
creep out from?

- Ah! Yuck! Quiet!
- Gross, don't even mention it

Hey! How come they have
better food over there?

Hey, Eunhyo!

I have to practice with
Sungjin later, so make
sure no one uses the gym, OK?

That bitch's always bossing us around,
thinks she's a coach or something!

Then is Sungjin going to
partner with Jiwon?

Probably she did the trick.

What kind of trick?

Just keep eating, bitch...

But Jiwon already has a boyfriend.

- Jiwon has a boyfriend?
- You didn't know? It's Sangok.

- Sangok?
- Yeah.

The hottie at Management school?
That stud?

f*ck!

- Did you see Jiwon's breasts?
- Why should I look at that bitch's tits?

I saw them!
They're really pretty.

Really big!
B cup... or C cup... probably.

Hey! I don't care they are
B cup, C cup or Z cup.

That bitch really gives
me a headache.

That pain in the ass
should be taken to hell!

But... She's really pretty
and has a great body

Stupid! What's pretty
about that bitch

she's got eyes like ET!
Just thinking about
her makes me puke!

No, her eyes are large and pretty!
They don't bulge out!

You're talking crap!
Just shut up and eat!

Why are you being so sensitive to her?

- Oh! Yoonkyoung.
- Ah.

- Did you eat yet?
- Yes.

- OK. Call me later.
- OK.

Come on!

- Chansu, you know them?
- Who? Yes, of course.

Then that one.
That girl in blue, who is she?

Ah, You don't know her?
Eunhyo - she's one of
hotties in the school.

- Euno!
- No, man Eunhyo.

She does Aerobics!
and she's a scrub for
the national team. You didn't know?

Ugh.

Attention!

Next class, we will
have a criminology quiz.

- Criminology?
- Yes.

Let's go.

Let's go!

Hey, where are you going?

My feet don't work.
I can't move them!

She's so out of herself!

What is she thinking?
That bitch is way too
old to act like that.

Hey, no, don't go.

Jeez, really... why doesn't
that crazy bitch get lost!

Right.

- Who's that guy?
- Sangok.

Sangok?
Oh, my god.

- Whaa, He's damn good looking.
- Excellent- in unison.

Those... look at those tits
and her ass.

Whew. Their sex must
be damn good.

Hey, what's this?

What're you doing?

Sponge.

Shush! Others have smaller
ones than me.

Don't laugh!

No way, sorry but if
you put 2 raisins on

your back no one could tell
which side was your chest.
I'd sure be confused!

What did you say, huh?

Yours are bigger!

All big boobed girls are should die.

This is the one
was talking about before.

- Yeah! It's friggin gorgeous!
- Yeah...

Yeah, it's a k*ller!

It's f*ckin' expensive!

What kind of a girl talks so filthy?

When you do with a guy,
you always say f*ck,
f*ck, f*ck, f*ck bitch?

How can you talk to a virgin
like me that way?

You, virgin!?
Then I'm a nun!

If you're a nun then
I'm a saint!

One, two, three!

Gut is all you need.

- Hey! Blood!
- Huh?! Blood! Aaah!

I told you little buggers
to stay out of here.

Hey, have all
the eggs been eaten?

That bitch Taehak ate all
the eggs yesterday.

Aaah!
That useless bitch.

- You want me to make an egg?
- What? You are a f*ckin' chicken?

Ah, that friggin' lunatic.
Hey, is that possible?

Ah. sh*t, that's really gross.
Damn.

Aaah! sh*t!
It does look same!

See, see! My professor said that
those are the same ingredients...
animal protein.

- Lots sh*t out.
- I'm tired.

Hey, I bought some rat poison!

Spread it out more, huh?

Even smelling this much will k*ll it.

Toran, don't eat that.
It'll k*ll you for sure.

Yeah!

- What...
- Should we add this as well?

Well...

How come there is no yolk?

Today I made lots of money.
Hurry up. Oh?

Can't believe this.

Shut up.
Hurry up and play!

Shut up and play!

Hurry! Please give me a good one!
I win and you're all losers!

- Who's winning?
- Nine... nine!

Yahoo!

You win...

Of course... sh*t.

Take it, take it, take it.

I'm gonna win...
hang on a moment... hang on!

If I get this next card...

What's this! Can I eat it?

No! Don't!
It's rat poison!

No way.

My child is there too!

No!
There's fried eggs too!

Tasty. It's delicious.

Why do I have to pay out everybody.

Oh, Mother Mary!

- Why?
- Oh, My God!

Get me if you can!

Hey! Grab him!

Tasty!

Losers!

Tasty.

Open the door! Door!

Open the door!

Open the door!
There's rat poison in there!

One, two and three!

Hey! You idiot!
Spit it out! Spit it out!

- Stay still.
- Don't move.

- Try a little harder and again.
- Just a little more.

- Did you hear?
- What?

- He tried to k*ll himself with poison.
- Who?

Chansu's roomate, the one who
jumped out the window!

How can he be so stupid?

I also heard that
he ate sperms too!

- What?! Sperms?
- What's that?

What a stupid prick.

Oh!

Enjoy that?

You wanna do
something really good?

The x- ray on the left is
what it should look like.
And on the right is the patient.

He appears to
have testicles like a bull.

The swelling hasn't
subsided for 38 hours.
But we haven't found the reason yet.

Isn't that dangerous?

If it doesn't subside by tomorrow
we'll have to cut them out.

The I.V. is empty.
Can you give me another one.

I'm sorry.

It's OK. I'm all right.

- Are you in first year law?
- Yes.

Did you transfer?

No, I had to delay classes
to do my m*llitary duty,
and I had a few setbacks as well.

That's why I'm still in 1st year.
I am 28 - you're 22?

So?

Hey?! Didn't you say that
you do a favor for me?

Yes!

Use here until you guys find
your own practicing room.

If the coach finds out...
I'm dead. Got it?

Don't worry.

We'll even clean this room.

- I'm a pro at cleaning.
- Here's the key.

When you leave,
make sure to lock up.

- Yes!
- Thank you very much.

How big is this room?
Hey! You!

Eunsik.

Hey... Excuse me!

Thanks!
I'd like to thank you.

b*tches! It's already
the middle of the semester!

How come nobody brings
guy members?

Until next week, each of
you brings 10 guys here!

I don't care whether you have to
kidnap them or not!

I should've not treated
you b*tches so well!

Dare you stare?

She thinks we're sluts?
Was she a brothel
madam or something?

1, 2, 3, 4

1, 2, 3, 4

1, 2, 3, 4

Clench your fists
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
Hey, Hips!

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

Left, left!

Change!

What are you doing now?

- Are you a law student?
- Yes.

- Then, I want to ask something.
- Ask me anything you want.

I know someone who is studying law!
Yoon Chong Shin

- Ahh, Yoon Chong Shin!
- Do you know him?

Of course.
He's a well known singer.

I know you better than
anybody in the world so pure

Isn't that him?

No, he's not...

Anyway! He was arrested
for v*olence

but he was relieved as the judge
was his junior in university.

That's good.

Yes, and when he appeared
in court the judge spoke to him.

What did he say...

He said, 'The jail will be your frat
house, moron.' Would it be true?

Knee up! Kick high! Do 10 times.
Ready? 5, 6, 7, 8! 1, 2!

Something must've got into her!
I'm almost throwing up!

Good, so good!

That's good, waist, waist.
Good, very good!
Yes, good, very good

Keep your backs straight
and your toes pointed!

OK... OK - keep up
the good work!

Let's go to a club today.

Club? What time?

It was one.
Was two. Was three.

Was four.

Carrot carrot carrot carrot,
bani bani bani bani

It's OK. It's OK.
Everything's OK. Drink up!

Somebody drinks this for me!

When did you come?

A little while ago.

Hey, where's Jiwon?

I don't know.
I came here with my friends.

Hey! Here's Sangok!
Let's drink! Bottoms up!

- Party goes on!
- Cheers!

Nice to meet you!

Hey, you look good!

You girls are so pathetic!

Did you find a good girl?

Only appearance matters
to you? Hey, Hyunhee.

Are you seeing someone?

- You mean a boyfriend?
- No. A lover.

Lover? Nope.

Oh, yeah?

Why?

Do you want to go out with me?

- Are you always like this?
- What?

Do you always sweet talk girls?

What are you talking about?

What about, Jiwon!
Aren't you guys still
seeing each other?

We broke up. Now!

When did I ask for a drink?
I never ask!

You just gave it to me.

You already drank it.

- Yeah, I drank it.
- You drink, you pay! Understand?

Told you I never ordered it.

You drink - you pay, you fucker!

I told you to never
let in guys dress like this.

Fucker? Fucker?

Yes! Fucker! A real fucker!

How could you...
Come on, I will take you all!

When did I order this drink?

You little bastard...

Taehak... Taehak...

- Hey, guys. We're leaving now.
- Going where?

Shut up.

You started to
push me first, you fucker!

Okay.

Eunsik! Wake up!
You should go home!
Gather yourself! Go home!

Eunhyo.

- Jeez!
- What can I do?

Do what? Wake up!

Eunhyo...

- I love you.
- I'm going.

I've got a headache!

- Headache?
- Yes.

Then we should take a rest.

Rest? Where?

Oh! Somewhere nearby.

Chansu!

Yoonkyoung, you don't trust me?

You think I'm some sort of
creep or something?

I'm just gonna hold your hand.

I promise! Signed and sealed!

Oh! My head is splitting!

Headache? Do you want a painkiller?

No! I just want to...
relax somewhere.

Relax? Where?

Well! Somewhere nearby...

Hmm! You want to go in here?

Oh! My head...

You drank too much.

W-wait!

I don't want to go home tonight.

Oh! You bastard!
Get away from me!

You said you only
gonna hold my hands!

Yoonkyoung...

You said only hold hands!
You did!

- Didn't you?
- I did.

Then why did you grab my boob?
Is my boob my hand?

What are you groping
my boobs for you little sh*t?

A little sh*t? Jeez!
Are you 3 years old?
Are you an idiot?

If you come to this sort of place!
Doesn't that say something?

What did you come here for?

You said we were going to
just hold hands.

Ahh! This is crazy!

You Bastard!

Ask anybody on the street
if you're the bitch
or I'm the bastard!

You're not an idiot so
why do you act like one.

Oh! My head! What is this
sort of creep doing on the streets?

Aughh! My back's itchy.

My back!
Aughh, it's irritating.

I can't scratch my back!
I wish somebody would.

Stop that!

Hmm? What's this? Ow!

Harder.

Hey! Are you going to spend
all day sucking those?
I'm going to get blisters!

- Now! Doing it?
- Want to do it tomorrow?

Don't you know
where it is, you stupid!

No!

I'm... not there!

Breasts are OK!
But I can't go down? Don't move.

Anyway, not there.

I'm going crazy!
Then you shouldn't have
started in the first place.

You get me excited for nothing?

When did I get you excited?
You came on to me first.

Oh, god! All right!
So you're saying everything
but intercourse is okay?

Why?

My arm! It hurts!

You hurt your arm?

Ah... No, it's nothing.

What's the matter?

What? It's nothing...

My stomach is k*lling me!
I drank too much last night.

I don't remember anything.
What happened?

No problems getting
home last night?

I'm OK. How about you?

I made it home OK. Last night.

That's good. I was worried.

Bitch! How dare you are!

You don't even know
who your father is.

Did your mother teach you to
steal other woman's man?

No doubt she knows
very well what to do!
It is genetic thing?

You know what?
You are a real assh*le!

I'll pretend that nothing
happened last night.

Don't play with that
poor thing and come
back where you are belong!

I'm embarrassed to even
have to speak like this.

Finished?

A new concentration exercise!
Ready! Begin!

This one drop is like
10 tablets of Viagra!
It works for 3 days.

Oh, Yeah? It can't be.

Hey, bitch! My professor said
the ingredients are the same.

If these make pigs go in rut,
they could work for men, too!

That dirty bitch! Oh, God!

- She's crazy!
- You have to drag her away!

How can she act like that? God!

That bitch is a little insane.

- Hey! Let's drink.
- Yeah! Hurry and drink up!
What are you waiting for?

Drink it up! Bottoms up!

Let's get started.

Hyunhee!

Hey there... My ungsuk!

What are you doing here?

I have something to do here.

You look great!
Did you get a nose job?

Oh! And your breasts
are pretty too!
Are they silicone?

You guys are here...

Come over and take a look at this.

What's up with that?

Hello? Is this customer service?
My computer's crashed.

Yes. Close the window.
OK, just a moment.

What'd they say?

They said to close the window.

Window?

Then close it, you bastard.

- Does it work?
- No, it doesn't. Lock it!

Damn...

Why the hell doesn't
this piece of crap work?

Lock the window and
it's still like this
It said to put in something?

- It's not special.
- It's special.

Ahh how many spoons of sugar?

Do you have brown sugar?
Brown sugar? Yes?

Whew! We almost got caught!

That's why I said when you're
working - don't do anything else!

What's this?

I'm going crazy!

- Where to?
- This way.

Are you all right?

I'm all right.

The one who lives here went to
the countryside and he'll probably
be back the day after tomorrow.

Don't you trust me?

Hurry back.

I'll be back soon.

Well...

I'm thirsty.

If you keep acting like this,
it makes more difficult
for me, Jiwon.

I love Eunhyo.

How can you sleep with
someone one time and
think that you're in love?

Don't talk like that.
I'm being very honest
about my feelings.

Oh! Yoomi...

Wait. Just a minute.

I'm not ready...

- Hell, who's...
- Hey! Yoomi. You and me!

The! The... there.

Hey!

Ah! Jeez!

Bring back my clothes and handbag.

Why?

Clothes.

Clothes? Yes, yes, OK.
Come here.

Aaah! Look over there!

- Whoa!
- What the hell do you want?

I am gonna tell
you right now! Yeah?

First! Put on some clothes!

Hey, fucker. What are you
looking at me for? Come on up here!

Nothing's happening here.
Just go. Just leave. Please!

If you don't back away in 1 minute!
I'm gonna push him off!

Push? Push?

- This is hilarious!
- Which broadcasting company did
you come from, you f*ckers?

Just take it easy.

That's why I said to leave here.
We'll be down soon.

- Hey, bastard!
You still don't have your pants on?
- I'm wearing them.

What are you bastards doing?

- Don't move f*ckers!
- Everybody's going to die, f*ckers!

Help me!

Help me!

Help me!

Help me!

This bastard is the one with
the bull's testicles?

Yes.

What kind of fool is
this character?

It says in his chart that
he's a student but!

38 hours ago he came in with
an erection and he's still got it!

Isn't that dangerous?

If it doesn't go down by tomorrow
we'll have to cut it out.

I'm sorry.

It's OK.

You hurt there twice now.

I've got to go now. Take care.

Yes.

When did you meet him?

Not too long ago.

Tell me about him.

He's the best looking
hottie on campus.

What's a hottie?

Oh, you know it's all right.
He's very kind to me.

Strange guy.

What?

Why would such a handsome guy
be interested in a girl like you?

What's so special about you.

I'm very popular in school.

That's crap!

Can't you see that
I'm a hottie too?

B.S. Does a hottie have
tiny breasts like you?

I can't even recognize
where they are!

- Let's see!
- No.

Let's see.

Mom, show me yours first!

No! Let me see if you're
a hottie or not - let's see yours.

No! Look at that! Look at that bitch!
That bitch has a hickie. She always
has a souvenir from her nights out.

She really embarrasses me.

What is a hickie?

It's a love bite.
A bruise on your neck you bitch!

How do you get that?
A mosquito bite?

Hello? If a mosquito bites you
do you put on a bandage?

This bitch is so stupid.

Aah! Next week is your birthday!

Right!
Do you want anything?

Why?
You gonna buy me something?

Well~ We'll see how you
act in the next few days.

Let's eat some Ramen.

- Did you check out that ring?
How much is it?
- How much do you think it is?

How much?

More than a 1000 bucks.

Hey, fucker! What kind of
a ring costs more than a grand.

Not even a championship belt
would cost that much! f*ck!

How can I get a 1000 bucks
in one week.

Older hey, take off your pants!

Take your shirt off!

5, 6, 7, 8. Look ahead!
Look at your hands! Hands!

Don't move your legs!

Back straight!
Keep your backs straight!

Stand up bitch, or I'm gonna
whack you on your head!

How can we win
a championship like this?

The competition is
in less than a week.

Don't you guys think!
Don't you have brains?

Are you sure?

What?

Don't you use birth control pill?

See! Those b*tches are all alike!

How can you tell
if the baby is yours?

Did you check?

Just give her a couple of
hundred bucks and tell her
to get rid of it. Okay?

Can't you just do it?

No. You'll have to come back
tomorrow with your guardian.

- What's up?
- Do you have time tomorrow?

Why?

I've made an appointment.

Appointment?

Why?

What is this?

You need money to do that, uh?

Why? You want me
to go with you?

Today is my birthday.

You and me have birthdays.

But this baby will never have one.
It's just waiting to die.

When did I ask for
money from you?

Why do you have to
make me so pathetic?

What's this?
Change it.

Look at this one more time.
Look at the finish on this.

No, no, Miss!

Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you.

Dear Eunhyo
Happy birthday to you.

Surprise!

Yeah, I bought an expensive
stuff for her.

But next thing I know she
popped me and then
she's giving me a nasty look.

Where the hell is it?
jeez...

Yeah, so I pulled it out.

I gave it to her and thought
she would be happy! f*ck!

But she slapped me and
f*ck I fell down so hard. f*ck!

Excuse me...

Is that possible?

Listen Eunsik.

What do you mean she popped you?

Is that some new language?

Do you know what
you're talking about?

I don't know.

You don't know
then it's not important.

- Hello.
- Eunsik.

Eunhyo?

What are you doing today?

A date?

Are you her guardian?

Yes.

You're not kids!
Why aren't you more responsible.

Sex is not a game to play with.

You should think about
the consequences! Your enjoyment
can ruin a woman's life!

Do you understand
what I'm saying?

Yes...

Lee Eunhyo.

Yes.

- I'll be right here.
- Okay.

Lie down.

What are you doing?
Hurry up and lie down.

- Are you OK?
- Move aside.

What are you doing?

We're almost there, easy, easy!

Do you want something to drink?

Relax. I'll be back soon.

Where are you going?

I'll be right back.

Eunsik.

Don't tell Sangok.

Please, I really need to
refund this ring.

Sorry, I can't help.

I paid you $1000,
just give me back $950.

Sorry, sir. We can't do that.

I will give up $50.
Please I just need to
get the money back.

Are you awake?
Just a minute.

Here you are.

- It's painful!
- OK. I know.

Don't move!
Just stay still.

My mother said abortions are
just as difficult as giving births.

You have to keep your body warm
for at least 15 days

afterwards otherwise it hurts
even more when you're old.

This hand.

What are you crying for?

Do you want me to show
you my exercise routine?

Hup! The basis of these
exercises is patience and gut.

Say it! Gut!

Are you kidding?
Say it! Louder! Gut!

Gut!

One! Two! Longer One, two,
three, four! One, two, three, four!

Five, six, seven, eight.

One, two... Three, four, five,
six, seven, eight!

Yahoo!

What's that?
Keep your legs straight!
Look at your feet!

Hey!

You little sh*t, what time is it now?
What are you thinking?

You don't remember that
tomorrow is the big competition?

Have you finished goofing around?

I'm sorry. Don't worry about me.
Let's practice!

One, two, one, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.

- Oh! I'm sorry.
- Aaugh, What's the matter?

We are invited to the national
championships to perform tomorrow.

- It's going to be broadcast on TV.
- Really?

Hello, where were you?

- He said Internet!
- Really!?

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

1, 2, 3...

Oh, no, no!

Not this bastard again!
What's up with him?

What's all this about?

What are you doing here?

What did you hit me for?
Didn't you say Taehak
had no stamina?

Stop talking sh*t, you bitch.

What the f*ck! It's annoying.
I can't keep doing this!

f*ck!? How dare you could
say such a word to me?

What are you hitting me for?
What are you hitting me for?

Enjoy a great performance
of the National University
Aerobic athletes!

- Hold on.
- Why are you so late?

Songguk is really pissed!

You're dead!

Hurry up and get changed.
We're in trouble.

- Hold on.
- You have to hit in the center.

Hold here! It's OK.

Hey~

How are you?

We're gonna lose
because of you!

Waaaa! OK!

We'll now take
a ten minute intermission!

Until then the Sunjong University
Concentration Power Team
will entertain us!

Our team's first performance!

Yippie! Yea!

Hup!

Hup!

- Hup!
- Hup!

Oh! Look at that!

Oh, damn!

Wha!

Great! Fantastic!

Excellent! Fantastic!

Thank you, thank you!

That's great! Terrific!

I knew you guys could do it!

It's OK it won't
make any damage.

What's going on!
After eating it'll be OK.

- Songguk, Songguk.
- Yoomi, Yoomi.

- Songguk, Songguk.
- Yoomi my Yoomi! How were we?

Perfect! Everything was perfect!

- Songguk, Yoomi
- The next competition is
for Solo Female Routines.

Competitors be prepared.

Lee Eunhyo! Eunhyo!
Lee Eunhyo Where is Eunhyo!

Where is that bitch?
Where is she?

That brainless bitch!

Lee Eunhyo. Lee Eunhyo.

What time is it!

Next is Lee Eunhyo,
a junior from Sunjong University.

Go for it, Eunhyo!

I'm losing my voice.

Where's Eunhyo?

Eunhyo?
In the restroom.

- Restroom?
- Yes.

Why is he panting for?

Eunhyo, where are you?

Eunhyo, what's wrong?

I'm bleeding.

Eunhyo.

Eunhyo! Eunhyo! Eunhyo!
Eunhyo wake up! Wake up!

Eunhyo wake up! Wake up!

Where should we go?
Where! Where! Where?

Eunhyo! Hang on.
We are almost there!

You can't come in here.
You must wait.

Mother!

Bitch, you can't do this!
How can you do this to me you bitch?

Why don't you die you bitch!
How could you do this to me?

How can you do this to me
after how I raised you?

Bitch! I didn't raise you like this!
Is that all you are? Huh?

Why?
What are you doing?

How could you after
I raised you so well!

What are you doing?
Please calm down!

What! Did you do this?
Did you to this to my daughter?

My Eunhyo! What are you
going to do? My Eunhyo!

You bastard!
You did this to my Eunhyo!
You bastard!

No! Stop it!
Mother! Mother! Mother...

- Congratulations! Yea!
- Thank you.

Eunsik!

Why are you still
wearing you uniform?

- Our performance finished long ago.
- Sit down.

It's just a joke!

No! Don't! Stop him!
Stop!

Leave me! Leave me alone!
You m*therf*cker!

What's with all the language?
Sit down and chill out.

f*ck you!

f*ck you!

Have you been drinking?

f*ck you! f*ck you!
Love is not a f*cking joke!

Your one time enjoyment!
f*ck!

It hurts the woman and now that
woman'll have to spend
the rest of her life with that pain.

f*ck you!
You've learned only sh*t!

You don't know what love is!
f*ck you!

What can of crap is
going on here!

Take out your hand and go in.

Hit me anywhere you want.

Hup!

One, two.

Hit me on three!

Wha!

One, two, three!

Now this is how it should be!
Come on, Eunsik.

Hit me anywhere!
Anywhere.

Really? I can hit anywhere?

My body is like a stone!
A stone!

Who put a real balk in here?

I'm so f*cking embarrassed!
sh*t!

Hey...

Maybe the exterminator
is spraying again.

Exterminator?

Yeah, it's a monthly thing.

I see.

Eunsik!

Yes?

Have you changed your mind?

Changed what?

You said you love me?

When did I say that?

If not! Never mind.

What sh*t's going on!

Fire!