Sex: How it Works (2013)

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Sex: How it Works (2013)

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We're going to head to the

bedroom and the lab to unlock

the mysterious world

of sex we all live in.

To discover the truth

behind the female orgasm,

we'll watch as a woman climaxes

in the name of science.

PROF KOMISARUK: Start

genital stimulation.

MONICA: Donating an orgasm for

science, how bad could that be?

NARRATOR: Reveal how

micro-machinery allowed a man

to experience an erection

for the first time.

COLIN:... that's was a

thirty-thousand dollar erection

that you just saw.

See if a pick up artist can help

a 30 year old virgin overcome

his fear of approaching women.

KURT:... just wondering where

you got your fancy outfits at,

they're... they're neat!

NARRATOR: And find out if

alcohol really does make people

more sexually attractive.

POP GIRL: One drink and

just start making out,

have a good make-out session,

and I'm ready to pull off

my pants for you.

ROB: Sex is for fun, sex

is for, uh, excitement.

TIFFANY: With me being a virgin

there are some things I just

won't know until we have sex.

COLIN: Being surrounded by other

guys in hockey locker rooms

the conversation of sex

comes up all the time.

NARRATOR: To reveal just how sex

works we're going to take you

on a journey from virginity,

via arousal, to birth.

And where better to

start, than a bar?

A place where humans have been

hooking up for generations.

But this isn't just any bar;

we've tricked it up with the

latest gizmos, to show how even

when you think you're in control

it's your sex drive

that's doing the talking.

Meet our volunteers - 8 men and

8 women who've never met before

and who, for now,

are being kept apart.

DR LINDA: Be as honest as you

can we'll see where we all are

at the end ok?

NARRATOR: The expert in charge

is Dr Linda Papadopoulos

psychologist and sex expert.

DR LINDA: Sex drive is integral

to the human condition,

without it, humanity as

we know it would die out.

We need to have sex drive.

NARRATOR: Dr Linda is going

to subject the volunteers to a

series of tests to reveal if

choosing a potential sex partner

is a conscious choice or one

made by our sex hormones.

And the first step is spotting

a face we like the look of.

DR LINDA: This is just about

trying to see how aware we are

of what we like.

MALE PARTICIPANT:... if she

gives me a little challenge,

a little push, maybe

some attitude, some sass!

Y'know, I like that.

DR LINDA: If we are talking

about evolution it's all about

passing on your genes and what

you want in a future mate.

NARRATOR: The first part of the

test is to see if pictures of

the women will arouse the men in

ways they're not even aware of.

DR LINDA: Men tend to be more

visual that women when it comes

to what they find enticing

which partly to do with how men

are socialised.

If you look at the vast majority

of p*rn out there...

vast, vast majority, it's

directed towards men.

This is Jon...

Hi... Hi how are you doing...

So what we want to do it see how

you respond to different images

of women.

So we're going to do

a couple of things,

this is a galvanic skin response

monitor so it's gonna basically

just look at how

you are reacting.

We're also gonna look at pupil

dilation and finally we're gonna

get to look at how you look

at faces through our imaging

techniques. Ok?

MALE PARTICIPANT: Ok, cool.

NARRATOR: What the men don't

know is that they're going

to meet the women in

the pictures later.

JON: Ok, you're good to go.

DR LINDA: We're done?

Ok, so just come through here.

So make yourself

comfortable on the stool.

This is the eye tracking

computer so basically what

it'll do is it'll interpret how

you look at different things.

Beyond that, enjoy looking

at pretty girls, ok!

MALE PARTICIPANT: Ok.

DR LINDA: We are using an eye

tracking technique to look at

where people look, but at

where they look the longest.

What you find is that we'll have

these big red dots on everyone's

face so if they look at the

eyes the longest, the red dots,

they'll be over the eyes, if

they look at the lips they'll be

over the lips.

NARRATOR: Other devices will

also monitor changes in heart

rate, perspiration levels

and pupil dilation,

to reveal physical and emotional

responses that the men have

no control over and may not

even know are taking place.

When a man sees an attractive

face the so-called reptilian

part of his brain can react

by triggering the release of

neurotransmitters such as

Epinephrine - accelerating

the pulse, sweat production

and increasing pupil diameter.

The man's body is now primed

to pursue the object of desire.

By analysing how the

men's' bodies react,

Dr Linda can see which of

the women excites the men

at a biological level.

DR LINDA: How was that?

MALE PARTICIPANT: That was good.

DR LINDA: A couple of girls

piqued you interest there..

I wonder if you are

aware of what we saw?

Which are the 2 girls...?

MALE PARTICIPANT: Possibly,

yeah, there was one or two,

yeah. Correct, yes!

NARRATOR: The data indicates

it's the women with thicker lips

and larger eyes that get

the men's hearts pumping.

This could be because these

faces point to a greater level

of fertility, as females with

such features tend to have more

of the sex hormone oestrogen.

Hi! Hello...

The results from one

subject stand out.

Chris's biological signs reveal

a high level of arousal when

he looks at the picture

of Katherine.

MALE PARTICIPANT: I was

looking at hair colour

and eyes and teeth actually,

I was looking at teeth.

DR LINDA: Well how I wanted to

say interestingly what we found

it when girls were smiling,

really kind of focused and

engaged on their mouth, but

there were a couple of clues

there as to who you may

have liked more than others.

MALE PARTICIPANT: Interesting..

NARRATOR: While a smile can

increase a woman's sex appeal,

smiling men have been found

to be less sexually attractive

to the opposite sex.

DR LINDA: Jon will take a

look at the bio feedback.

JON: I would suggest that,

you might not think it,

but there's actually two

girls there that you favor.

NARRATOR: Next Dr Linda wants to

discover what sort of body type

arouses the men.

DR LINDA: Hi guys. Thanks for

doing the eye tracking earlier.

So what we're going to do now

is we're going to flash up

the images with the different

waist-hip-ratio test.

So again, what we need you

to do is circle the number

of your preferred figure.

You know, just wait

till we see all six,

and you can circle

which one you prefer.

What a lot of the appearance

research has shown,

is that there's almost this

sort of divine proportion

when it comes to the ratio

between the waist and the hips.

Traditionally, a very slim

waist with bigger hips,

a sort of hour glass figure is

what's particularly attractive

to men.

And there's a lot of theories

put forward of more rounded hip

being more child bearing hips

and smaller waist being

of conducive to

youth and health.

NARRATOR: One other physical

attribute also catches

the mens' eyes.

DR LINDA: Since

we've become bipedal,

since we've kind of evolved from

walking on all fours to standing

on two legs, it's interesting

how sexual lures have adapted.

It's become much more

centered around the breasts,

y'know I guess the breasts are

the new buttocks.. the fact

that the breasts are right under

the face which is always what

we focus on, certainly helps.

Thank you for that...

we'll take a look at them.

I like that this is folded

up, that just worries me.

NARRATOR: The initial tests show

some of the men are turned on

physiologically by a

number of the women.

We'll find out a bit later

if the women share those same

feelings towards the men.

But first let's check out how

sex works in the real world.

And in this...

We're going to follow

ladies' man - Rob,

and reveal the extraordinary

control sex hormones exert over

his mind and body in his

pursuit of a sexual encounter.

ROB: Sex is for fun,

sex is for excitement.

I had numerous one night stands.

I'm 27.

I'm definitely not

ready to settle down.

I meet a lot of people,

see a lot of girls,

hang out with a lot of girls,

hook up with a lot of girls.

My friend, cos she knows I

don't carry condoms on me,

she got me this for my birthday,

and it came with three condoms

in it.

Needless to say, it only

lasted me one night,

but still I can just

put condoms in it,

and you know I'm

ready to go out.

NARRATOR: Tonight

Rob's on a mission,

with one simple

goal - to have sex.

ROB: I've had sex

with a lot of girls...

It's fun! Sex is fun!

NARRATOR: To improve his

chances of finding a sexual

partner Rob's brought

his wingman, Brian.

BRIAN: Step into my office...

ROB: I set the tone!

DR LINDA: Men have a higher

sex drive than women.

A women needs to invest in is

in one person who's going to be

a great parent helping

her raise that child.

From a male's point of view

it's going to be about having

the most chance to get those

genes to survive by having sex

with as many partners

as possible.

BRIAN: You guys

seen any girls here,

is there any chicks around?

BRIAN: We go out all the time,

almost every single night.

I don't have television or

internet at my apartment,

I would much rather go

enjoy the night life.

GUY: If they're hot

they're taken...

BRIAN: If they're hot

they're taken, huh?

So, yeah...

let's try and talk to

some of these taken women.

NARRATOR: As with most men of

his age Rob thinks about sex

around 20 times a day,

twice as often as women do.

Rob lays down his best lines,

but it's his testosterone

that's really doing the talking.

And for single men like Rob

it's testosterone that dictates

sexual appetite and the

pursuit of a potential mate.

ROB: Well you girls

have a very good night.

NARRATOR: Just talking

to an attractive girl,

can trigger your testicles to

start pumping testosterone out.

In no time your

brain's awash with it,

the result - you increase

your efforts to get the girl.

ROB: You gotta have sex!

You gotta be healthy.

I think sex is healthy!

NARRATOR: Rob is right, women

who enjoy sex regularly live

longer than those that don't and

men who have sex 3 times a week

can cut their risk of heart

disease and stroke by half.

BRIAN: You girls, hey girls..

ROB: Excuse me ladies...

BRIAN: You're in danger

of being empty handed.

Would you care for a drink?

Can I get you one?

GIRL: Sure!

BRAIN: What'll it be?

GIRL: Jack and Coke...

BRIAN: Jack and Coke...

GIRL: Surprise me...

ROB: You can't get a home run

if you don't take a swing.

So, you gotta, at

least give it a sh*t.

sh*t! Yeah!

I think sex is on

everyone's mind,

whether they like

to admit it or not.

NARRATOR: One study found that

people below the age of 25

thought about sex up to

388 times in one day.

I think about sex

about every 11 seconds.

A girl's talking to

me and I might think about sex

three or four times in the

conversation that we're having

so it does add up yeah.

Man, I think

about sex all the time,

I think sex is very important

man, - highly sexed individual.

I love females - ha!

NARRATOR: We'll catch up with

Rob's attempt to find a willing

sexual partner later.

In the sex lab, it's time to

discover if the way the women

think about sex is

different from the men.

DR LINDA: So, this is the

eye tracking computer...

have a seat...

so very simply, it's going to

bring up a series of photographs

for you to enjoy, to look at.

We just want you to completely

relax and enjoy looking at

the pictures.

Hi, I'm Dr Linda,

what's your name?

FEMALE: Oh, I'm Katharine.

NARRATOR: Almost immediately

Katherine's pulse rate,

perspiration and pupil dilation

all jump when she looks at

pictures of Jack and Chris.

DR LINDA: There was two guys

that Katharine really liked and

we saw it from the galvanic skin

response, it was a real spike.

We saw it in her

behavioural reaction.

We saw that she stood back,

she smiled right away,

but we also saw that she kept

that gaze a little bit longer.

FEMALE: Yeah, I think men's

eyes are one of the first places

that I look... and their smile.

NARRATOR: Although significant,

Katherine's biological responses

aren't as great as the results

seen when Chris looked

at Katherine's face.

Like men, female sex drive is

also powered by testosterone,

but at a fifteenth of

the level seen in males,

so the effect is

a lot more subtle.

FEMALE: I've done a fair amount

of online dating as well,

so I know that people can

upgrade pictures and can look

great and then I meet them

and I'm like.. 'where was that

personality I saw in the photo!

DR LINDA: What we're being

able to see with this,

is what women are tuned

to more in male face.

NARRATOR: A pattern is forming.

It appears the more symmetrical

the man's face the stronger

the women's response.

DR LINDA: The

reason for this is,

the assumption that if things

are symmetrical on the face

then it's indicative of

good health, of good genes.

So if you want to take

it to its basest level,

y'know we're always searching

out for a mate to pass on

our genes and symmetry is

one of those big indicators

that persons genes are healthy,

they're good and that'll mean

that if they mix up with my

genes they'll have a better

chance of survival.

NARRATOR: The results provide

both conscious and biological

clues to who the subjects

find sexually attractive.

Can the scientific data predict

which couple will hook up?

And will everything change

when the volunteers meet

face to face?

There's no secret why humans

have evolved to have sex

to reproduce.

But nowadays most of us do

it for the intense pleasure

it provides through orgasm.

And while three-quarters of men

regularly orgasm during sex,

less than a third of women do.

WOMAN: Very important

to orgasm during sex.

If not it's just like, you get

irritated release you ain't

release nothing.

All that tension. I got to

explode. What about you?

MAN: Yeah. Pretty much the same.

I think it's really

important to have an orgasm..

I want to make him feel

good' 'well for her,

I mean I think sex is all

about the girl so if she, like,

orgasms, then it's like

pressures off - I'm good!

NARRATOR: But one of the great

mysteries in understanding

how sex works is why do women,

who can conceive without them,

have orgasms at all?

DR LINDA: Why women orgasm

is a bit of a conundrum,

it's sort of like saying

why do men have nipples.

Some evolutionary psychologists

believe that this is sort of

a throw back to a physiological

process that we have

that we don't really

need as such.

Yet for others it's seen that

there's certainly a function

there that we haven't still

figured out what it is.

NARRATOR: In New Jersey, a

group of neuroscientists are

attempting to unlock the

mystery of the female orgasm.

KOMISARUK: There really are

only a couple of laboratories

in the world studying, um,

sexual response to orgasm.

We study brain response

to genital stimulation,

the pathways leading to orgasm,

the orgasm response in women

and then how it resolves.

NARRATOR: To help the

scientists' research,

this woman is going to

attempt to reach orgasm

in the distinctly unsexy

confines of an MRI scanner...

KOMISARUK: Start

genital stimulation.

NARRATOR: At a special

laboratory in New Jersey,

this woman is about to perform

a most intimate act in front of

a gallery of scientists.

The goal?

To try to understand once

and for all why women orgasm.

SCIENTIST: Hi I'm Nan

Wise, nice to meet you,

and this is Dr

Barry Komisaruk...

KOMISARUK: I'm fascinated

with the process of orgasm.

Hi Nice to meet you...

Dr. Steven...

MONICA: Well yeah it's a little

nerve wracking to have an orgasm

in an MRI with so

many people around.

I don't usually have such

an audience when I'm doing

something so private.

KOMISARUK: This idea of seeing

what parts of the brain get

recruited and aroused and

activated leading up to

a crescendo of one of.. uh.. the

most pleasurable experiences

in humans is a umm, a very

interesting phenomenon to study.

Can we overcome depression, or

addiction or overcome pain

by understanding what parts

of the brain are active

and changing those.

We really need some hard

evidence about the functions

of orgasm.

SCIENTIST: Ok so before we get

started do you have any concerns

about today?

Any trepidations, worries?

MONICA: Other than the nine

guys in the room, I'm good!

SCIENTIST: OK!

KOMISARUK: What we are gonna

do is the control orgasm first,

and then rest for five minutes

and then the actual orgasm.

MONICA: You realise what you

guys are calling control orgasm,

we call faking it!

The only time most people

go into an MRI is if

there's something wrong,

you know, they may be,

they are going to see

if have a brain tumour,

they have something going

on with their brain,

and I'm going in one

to have an orgasm.

Yeah, this isn't the sexiest

environment I've ever been in to

have an orgasm, I wore a little

lace underneath to kind of help

me out in there so I would

feel a little sexier in an MRI,

but donating an orgasm for

science, how bad can that be.

KOMISARUK: It's comfortable?

Not too tight?

MONICA: It's OK.

KOMISARUK: It's OK?

SCIENTIST: OK now I am

going to send you in,

you can open your eyes.

KOMISARUK: Monica are

you in position to start?

MONICA: Yes. I am.

KOMISARUK: Monica, start

genital stimulation.

NARRATOR: Like 75% of women

Monica usually achieves orgasm

by clitoral stimulation.

The tip of the clitoris has

around 8000 nerve endings,

twice as many as the tip

of the penis and more than

any other part of the body.

KOMISARUK: There are different

nerves from the genital system

and stimulation of those

different nerves goes

to different parts of the

brain and it produces different

qualities of orgasms.

NARRATOR: As a woman becomes

sexually aroused her vag*na

can expand up to 200%,

while self lubricating.

SCIENTIST: Is she doing

the external stimulation?

NARRATOR: Some studies showed

that the average time it takes

a woman to reach orgasm through

masturbation is 4 minutes,

with the climax lasting

around 20 seconds.

Men on the other hand tend to

orgasm in just 2 and a half

minutes, peaking for

approximately 12 seconds.

KOMISARUK: Well an orgasm is

a, response in the brain that

controls many different

systems in the body.

There are many physiological

accompaniments to orgasm

increase in blood

pressure and heart rate,

increase in pupil diameter...

These are the brain regions that

are activated by the stimulation

that she's applying.

Certainly the genital

sensory cortex is activated.

So we should be seeing...

some activity...

SCIENTIST: She pressed the

button at forty five thirty four

SCIENTIST 2: Whooo!

NARRATOR: Orgasms can also cause

the brain to block pain signals.

A recent study suggests

climaxing can be as effective

as three doses of morphine.

KOMISARUK: Monica are you OK?

You're done, you did great.

OK!

MONICA: It was comparable to

what I might have on my own

any other time, not quite

comparable to with company,

I prefer with company!

Female orgasms may also

have another crucial

reproductive role.

KOMISARUK: There is evidence

that one of the functions

of orgasm is to increase uterine

contractions that can suck sperm

into the uterus.

And that could have an effect

of adding to the likelihood

of pregnancy.

MONICA: I went to my happy

place and got happy so hopefully

the scan will, you know,

tell the story.

my hope is that a study

like this would actually prove

what I already believe

about orgasm which is that

it is essential to our being.

NARRATOR: The pleasure we

experience during orgasm is

believed to encourage us to

have as much sex as possible.

And in men orgasms could also

play a key role in driving

ejaculation.

JACKSON: If you've got a good

sperm count you're making

something like a 1000

sperm per heartbeat.

You can ej*cul*te hundreds

of millions of sperm per day.

NARRATOR: When a man ejaculates

he produces on average over

200 million sperm.

Enough to populate

over half of the US.

So, why do men

make so many sperm?

To help find an answer,

these five students are going

to compete in a sperm race.

JACKSON: What we're going to

do today is have a look at

your individual semen samples

and then do a little race.

Now if we look at sperm and we

look at how they're swimming,

we can see these sperm that are

swimming fast across the field

and their heads moving

a bit from side to side.

But there's also lots of bits

of cell debris and some sperm

that are not swimming at all,

others that are just twitching.

When they arrive in the vag*na,

it's horrible acid environment

and most of the sperm are

going to die instantly,

so after an hour white blood

cells appear and they're gonna

k*ll all of those sperm

that are in the cervix.

So you've got one hour to get

from treacle a third of the way

up Everest otherwise

you're dead.

So what we're gonna do

today in our sperm race,

we'll look at how many get to

a certain distance and also how

far the furthest sperm can swim.

MALE PARTICIPANT: I'd be

absolutely gutted if I had low

sperm count.

NARRATOR: Dr Kirkman-Brown asks

the volunteers to provide sperm

samples.

Wrapped inside a testicle are

tubes over 20 feet long that

produce over one hundred

million sperm every day.

Yet despite their huge numbers,

sperm only make up a tiny

fraction of the semen.

The rest is food for the

journey and chemical protection.

When a man ejaculates, semen

squirts out at around 28 mph

followed by an

intense rush of pleasure.

A reward for a job well done.

It's now time to count the

volunteers' sperm and calculate

how fast and far they swim.

JACKSON: You've had a bit of

time away while we have done

the processing in the lab.

Obviously I have got a clipboard

with results on it and some data

for us to look at - are people

feeling a bit more nervous now?

BOYS Yeah, a little

bit nervous now.

BOY 1: The problem is I can

only think about sperm now...

Sperm... sperm... sperm..

JACKSON: First of all we just

have some data which is just

on the neat semen samples.

But we have got quote

a big range of results,

so we've gone from in the region

of 45/46 million sperm to one

of you having in the

region of 1 billion,

500 million sperm

in the ej*cul*te.

Tom is our hero with over a

billion sperm in his ej*cul*te

did you realize you were a

billionaire this morning?

TOM: I always felt there was

something special about me

but it's nice to know there

are a lot of guys in there...

JACKSON: Is it something you

will now tell your friends

about?

TOM: I will now

yes, definitely!

JACKSON: The final thing we

looked at was which sperm got

the furthest fastest...

We have Tyler as a

winner on this one.

BOY 1:... unbelievable..

NARRATOR: In one minute Tyler's

sperm covered a fifth of an inch

which may not sound much,

but it's equivalent to a human

swimming through syrup faster

than the best Olympic swimmer.

JACKSON: What you'd have is that

first sperm would be getting

the best chance of

fertilize that egg.

So in this test that we have

run today and the results may be

totally different

on another day,

then Tyler would have

been the winner at that.

BOY 1: Pretty like, over the

moon about it - cos it's always

been a um... at the back of my

head, like, would I be alright

if I wanted to have kids.

NARRATOR: Despite the huge

numbers of sperm produced,

over 99.9% will be k*lled by the

time they reach their target:

the egg.

This obliteration is one of

the key reasons why men have

to produce so much sperm

in a single ejaculation.

Most people will have

more than one sexual partner

in their lives, so why

do so many of us end up

in a monogamous relationship?

Could this soon to be wed

couple help provide an answer?

TIFFANY:.. being a virgin, there

are some things that I just

won't know until we have sex.

NARRATOR: Ryan and Tiffany have

been together for 2 years but

have never had sex.

In 5 days, on their

wedding night,

that's all about to change.

RYAN: Why we decided to abstain

from sex before marriage in our

relationship mainly stems back

from our religious background,

and our beliefs.

We really wanted to cultivate a

good friendship and we know that

when a lot of other things are

thrown into it like a sexual

or physical relationship

in the beginning,

you miss out on a lot of things.

TIFFANY: And of course, you

know, with me being a virgin,

there are some things

that I just won't know until

we have sex.

RYAN: Temptation is definitely

always there and especially

when you're sitting next

to your future wife.

I mean if were home alone

late, obviously I'm going to be

tempted so it's really avoiding

those situations completely,

which really helps a lot.

TIFFANY: I'm not going to lie

and say that it's been easy

for us to not have sex.

RYAN: It's a very rare thing,

and I'm not saying that to be

like to be like pat ourselves on

the back but it takes a lot of

discipline.

NARRATOR: For his bachelor party

Ryan heads to the sh**ting range

Although Tiffany is a

virgin, Ryan is not.

RYAN: It is Tiffany's first

time and it's not mine.

I did make some decisions in

the past to go ahead and have

relations with old

girlfriends and so, those...

what I thought was love, was not

love how it's supposed to be,

it was more physical,

selfish, what can I get out

of this relationship

type of thing and so...

good things are worth waiting

for and worth working towards

and it's gonna be a huge

blessing to experience this and

y'know I love Tiffany so I'm

gonna wait for her and protect

her and not be

physical ahead of time.

All of this building up,

it's gonna lead to a great

experience.

NARRATOR: Couples who are

deeply in love produce more of

the pleasure hormone dopamine,

that can increase the enjoyment

of having sex.

Will Ryan and Tiffany's

first time be all the better

for waiting?

TIFFANY: There is a little bit

of nervousness and I think a lot

of it is just because I've

never had sex before so.

It's just an unknown, not

knowing what to expect and not

knowing, y'know how it's gonna

feel and how I should react

and different things like that.

We plan on having sex for

the rest of our lives,

so we've got enough

time to learn!

NARRATOR: Tiffany is a rarity,

as only 5% of people in the US

are virgins on

their wedding day.

With most people having

sex at the age of 17.

My first time

awkward, quick and fun.

I would say awkward

and eye-opening.

Well I lost mine in high school

in like tenth grade so like

sixteen.

Well, just the

age that I regret,

if I could turn back the hands

of time I would have waited

'til I was at that

right age you know.

I was 15, the girl

was seventeen,

we were drinking and you

know had some fun that night,

of course used protection,

I was a little nervous,

a little scared but you

know, eventually you know,

I got to use of it and

started working it out.

I was twenty when I lost my

virginity and I was embarrassed

'cos I was so old.

It was my first, like, real true

love and I decided it was a good

idea.

He turned into a real

douchebag who stole my bike,

my camera and my phone and he

slashed my car tyres so probably

could have picked him better!

NARRATOR: In the sex lab the

tests to discover how our

sub-conscious responses control

our choice of sexual partner

continue.

It's time for the male and

female subjects to meet for

the first time, in a controlled

speed dating experiment.

Will their initial biological

reactions reflect how they

respond to each other in person?

How, How is it been so far?

Dr Linda is interested to

see how Katherine and Chris,

the couple who responded the

most to pictures of each other,

react when they meet.

FEMALE PARTICIPANT: Regardless

if it'll be fun, but,

there were two guys in

particular that kind

of stood out.

There were a couple of guys

that I thought were attractive,

I'm just hoping that I have

a pleasant two minutes.

DR LINDA: Ok John can you, can

you fit Amy out with these...

NARRATOR: Eye-tracking glasses

will let us see if there's

a difference in where

men and women look.

FEMALE PARTICIPANT:... I's

totally... I'm really nervous.

I'm just hoping that whoever

sits across can see past

my glasses... to the real me.

DR LINDA: Let's bring in the

guys - can I have Chris come in,

please?

The way that we matched you was

based on all these biometric

results, so all the stuff

that we've been doing;

What got your heart fluttering,

what got their fluttering

it's based on that.

William? OK William.

MALE PARTICIPANT: How are you?

NARRATOR: The females' eyes tend

to lock on to the faces of men

with more masculine features

such as a strong jawline

and a broad forehead.

But with Amy's heart rate and

perspiration levels remaining

constant, it's possible that

none of the men are exciting

her at a biological level.

The male subjects eyes quickly

drift to the breasts even

the briefest of glances, see a

jump in heart rate and sweat.

The reptilian part of the

brain has really kicked in.

DR LINDA: It's really

interesting because when you do

research like this you can

kind of see them interacting on

that kind of 3D level of really

getting to know it each other.

You can see sparks

flying especially,

and very interestingly, with the

two that were rated the highest.

OK guys! STOP!

How has it been Amy?

FEMALE PARTICIPANT: I don't know

- it's fun, it's interesting.

MALE PARTICIPANT: It's been

awesome, beautiful smile.

It's awesome to interact

with her. Ah, fun!

NARRATOR: As a species we're

genetically programmed to seek

out a sexual partner..

yet for nearly 15 million people

in the United States approaching

a member of the opposite sex

is a terrifying experience.

But is there a way of overcoming

this so-called approach anxiety?

30 year old Kurt hopes so, the

stress he feels is so extreme

he's still a virgin.

KURT: I have never had a

girlfriend, never had sex.

As far as being a virgin goes,

as more as I'm getting older,

it's more of a

burden on my mind.

When it comes to talking to

them, I don't know what to say,

I clam up, I get very nervous.

Our other friend was here with

me and uh... there was like 5

girls or something like that

he was talking with them and

chatting them up and everything

and I thought it was a good

opportunity to go

talk with them...

no... they ALL got up!

I don't know dude. I don't

know what the problem was.

What am I doing wrong?

I've been following the

pick-up community for a couple

of years now.

NARRATOR: Desperate to get over

his phobia of talking to women,

and to finally have sex, Kurt

has contacted professional

pick up artist Beckster.

KURT: I came across Beckster

through a friend of mine.

Him and I started chatting

and talking about pick up and

everything else and that I

would like to train with him.

BEXTER: When you see

someone you like,

you have to go and talk to

them within 3 seconds...

BECKSTER: Yeah.. go!

If you wait too long, the

moment's gone for one,

it's not spontaneous for two,

it seems unconvincing and

unnatural, and also you can go

inside your mind and think of

excuses not to approach,

and that's called analysis

paralysis.

So you actually convince

yourself not to go and do it.

Go back and ask

for her facebook,

tell her you want to invite

her to a fancy dress party.

Just go and talk to people,

y'know we're all human beings.

NARRATOR: Will Beckster be

able to help Kurt find a woman?

KURT: Excuse me ladies,

how are you this evening?

NARRATOR: 30 year old virgin

Kurt has arranged to meet

Professional pick up artist

Beckster, in Manhattan,

for an intensive one on one

crash course in seduction.

BECKSTER: I got into learning

these seduction techniques for

my own benefit, because about 15

years ago I was in a worse place

than Kurt was and I really

needed to get out of my shell.

I really had no female

interaction whatsoever,

no female friends or nothing

and so I was stuck in a rut.

Today I've got some

missions for you...

KURT: Ok...

BECKSTER: The first mission is,

I want you to ask some girls

just where a good coffee shop is

KURT: Yeh, yeah..

Excuse me miss, I was just

wondering if there was a good

coffee shop...

GIRL: Ah, I don't know sorry!

KURT:... I was wondering if

you wanted to go for a quick cup

of coffee with me?

GIRL: Um, no, I'm late.

I'm sorry.

KURT: You are? OK.

Thank you then.

I'm actually going to a party

a bit later on this evening,

I was wondering if I

could invite you to it?

GIRL: Again, I'm sorry, I

have to decline...

BECKSTER: You gotta spin,

you get a spin for that!

So I'm going to get you to

talk to a few people, ok,

and just say something

like, you have a great vibe

and I know it's a busy city

but you're still shining out

above that, Ok

Go tell her you like

her boots as well, go!

Go, go-go-go!

KURT: I am very not used to

this, but I'll give it a go!

BECKSTER: As soon as

I say go, just go,

don't think about it or

you'll get analysis paralysis.

...go! go!

Y'know for some people this

is harder than going to w*r.

They'd rather fight in a w*r

than they would talk to a girl

on the street.

KURT: It's not that I'm not

ready to have sex or lose my

virginity, it's the fact it's

nervousness goes on in my head.

NARRATOR: The root

of Kurt's problem,

and others who suffer

approach anxiety,

lies in how a part of their

brain assesses if the potential

pleasure of sex is worth

risking the pain of rejection.

The limbic system controls our

body's most primal instincts:

to fight, flight,

feed or fornicate.

And when Kurt

approaches a woman,

memories of past failures

warn the limbic system

that the thr*at is

greater than the reward.

Resulting in a rush

of stress hormones,

that increase his pulse and

sweat levels so much he starts

to feel distressed, even sick.

KURT: Excuse me, just wondering

where you got your fancy outfits

at, they're... they're neat!

BECKSTER: Rejection's probably

the worst things that people

fear in this, because

no one wants to be rejected,

but we have to learn that

rejection's not personal because

they don't know you yet,

and he needs to see that.

He's learnt major life

lessons very quickly.

Simple things like don't lean

in when you talk to a girl,

smiling when you go in and maybe

a small touch of the elbow.

These things heighten sexual

arousal and that's how we find

a mate.

He's gonna eventually find

people that do want to go

on dates with him and go for

coffee with him and have sexual

relations with him.

KURT: Excuse me ladies,

how are you this evening?

Am I doing this right?

Am I not doing this right?

How is she feeling about this?

How am I feeling about this?

It's just a whole different

cycle of things going through

my mind.

BECKSTER: This is how you learn,

but going back and taking

that risk, alright?

KURT: Huh...

BECKSTER: The answer is always

'yes' when you want to learn

something.

KURT: Right.

BECKSTER: You wanna learn this?

KURT:... yes.

NARRATOR: By repeatedly facing

his fear Kurt can reduce his

limbic system's thr*at response.

KURT: I only have a few minutes,

I'm in town for a couple hours

I'd like your opinion, which

is more important to you,

to be wanted, or needed?

GIRL: I mean, I think wanted

is probably the right thing

to say..

KURT: Ok...

GIRLS: Hiiiiigh!

KURT: Maybe I...

you both have very

stylish fashion sense...

GIRL 2: Thank you darling,

alright let's go..

GIRL 1: Does that

answer your question?

KURT: Sure... you have a great

night ladies... thank you.

BECKSTER: You have

to go back then yeah? Ok?

KURT: Sorry ladies, I don't

mean to interrupt again,

I just want to let you know,

but I'm going a party

a little bit later on,

I'd like to invite

both of you... if you wish.

GIRL 2: We have plans, sorry...

GIRL 1: Where are you going?

KURT: We're going to

Co-op restaurant and bar,

it's near here.

Um, what I could do is I could

actually text message you,

or somehow?

That way we could get in

contact with each other

a little bit later.

BECKSTER: He's doing

really well now..

KURT: I'm actually a

musician as well, so..

GIRL 2: Oh really?

What do you play?

KURT: Ah, drums,

bass and I sing.

GIRL1: Text me later ok? Bye!

KURT: Definitely, definitely..

Ok! Thank you ladies

have a great night!

BECKSTER: See?

That's what I'm talking about,

you had the guts to go back

and you got what you want.

KURT: That went super well.

BECKSTER: Super well yeah?

KURT: HA! HA!

BECKSTER: Awesome.

KURT: Before yesterday, I

could never do that, now,

when I go home, I won't be as

scared, I'll know what to do,

or know what to say.

I'll have positive... positivity

going through me and knocking

walls down and everything else.

BECKSTER: Welcome to the club!

KURT: Thank you

Beckster, thank you!

NARRATOR: In the sex lab Dr

Linda is exploring another tried

and tested way of getting

over approach anxiety.

DR LINDA: Now here comes

the funnest part of all

the experiments.

All I need you to do now is do

what you would normally do on

any given evening

in a nightclub.

I want you to mingle I want

you to talk to each other

and I also want to see how

things change once we add

alcohol to the equation.

So if you guys can just

enjoy a glass of wine,

or a beer that would be great.

Well, enjoy each other!

Not like that!

Interestingly as soon as we

mentioned alcohol there was

almost kind of a sigh of

relief It's an environment

that they're used to so they're

feeling a lot more confident;

you can see their

non-verbals now.

We're already starting to

see as well a lot of the more

flirtatious

behaviours happening,

some sort of flicking

of the hair for girls,

you know the boys standing in a

certain way with chests out

kind of making

that prominent and

even in a few cases I've seen

already a lot of that mirroring

that we often find when we like

someone so we want to indicate

that interest in if they touch

their face we touch our face,

if they lean forward we do,

that's a real indicator of them

wanting to connect so it's

fascinating to see what's

happening and how

much more, rather,

how much less

inhibited they are.

How does the consumption of

alcohol affect our behaviour?

DR ALIA ATAYA: Once you consume

alcohol it has a global effect

across the brain so it results

in lowering your inhibitions.

You're more likely to engage

in certain behaviours that

you wouldn't normally engage in.

DR LINDA: Does the consumption

of alcohol mean that we'll look

at people more favourably when

it comes to attractiveness,

is there a grain

of truth to this?

DR ALIA ATAYA: Once

you consume alcohol,

you expect to engage in

more social behaviour,

you expect to be more relaxed.

You expect to meet people

and you start to perceive

individuals as more

attractive and favourable.

NARRATOR: As we drink one part

of our brain after another

is affected.

First the pre-frontal cortex,

the part that tells us not

to say or do the wrong

things, is suppressed,

making us less

sexually inhibited.

Then the limbic system, our

risk avoidance controller,

is cranked down.

With these areas

smothered by drink,

our sex hormones are

allowed to run riot.

Alcohol can also increase

our levels of sexual desire.

In women, drink can cause

a rise in testosterone,

increasing their

interest in sex.

And studies show it reduces our

ability to spot facial symmetry,

making us a lot less choosy

an effect known as beer goggles.

And the time the boys look at

breasts has risen from fractions

of a second, too

much, much longer.

There's nothing better and

gets me in the mood than just

making out.

I mean, really, one drink

and just start making out,

have a good make-out session,

and I'm ready to pull off

my pants for you.

NARRATOR: Back in LA lounge

lizard Rob discovers his tactic

of using a wingman to improve

his chances of finding a sexual

partner has backfired.

ROB: Brian is probably the

biggest ladies' man think

I'll ever meet,

he just slays women.

BRIAN: Tonight we met a couple

of girls they were with a bunch

of friends actually and all of

the friends left except for one

girl, she decided to stay

behind with me so we are going

to you know, go and play around.

NARRATOR: Even though his

hormones are driving Rob to find

a partner, in humans it's often

the female who are the choosy

sex, as they invest more in

reproduction and parenting

than males.

And on this occasion it's Brian

who's been chosen, not Rob.

ROB: Good stuff.

Lady, nice meeting you.

Nice to meet you...

I didn't necessarily

go home with the girl,

but Brian did so

that's good for him,

you know that's a

victory for one of us.

I'm gonna go home all alone by

myself and cry myself to sleep.

Nah, that's not gonna happen.

Tonight was one of those nights

you know sometimes it's not

always about, meeting the

hottest girl and having sex

with them.

You strike out some nights.

NARRATOR: Rob knows it is only

a matter of time before he has

sex, but for some men having

intercourse can prove to be

an impossibility.

At 22, ice hockey coach Colin

should be at his sexual peak,

yet despite having girlfriends

he's always failed to have

an erection.

COLIN: I would describe myself

as a very athletic person,

whether it's going to the gym

every day, going for a run,

playing hockey.

All through my youth and teen

years I was never able to have

an erection.

Being surrounded by other

guys in hockey locker rooms

and the conversation of

sex comes up all the time,

I just started to

wonder, hey am I normal?

What's going on?

What's supposed to happen?

NARRATOR: Colin is not alone, in

the US as many as 30 million men

are regularly unable to get or

maintain an erection during sex.

With the causes

including stress, ageing,

obesity and

circulatory problems.

For Colin the devastating

impact the problem was having

on his life, forced him

to take drastic action.

COLIN: It just tore

me apart inside.

It was a constant

weight that was on me,

knowing that I couldn't

have sex with anybody.

After going through

all the solutions,

the answer was finally

a penile implant.

NARRATOR: Although

still in his early 20s

Colin has never been

able to have an erection.

To try to understand why,

he's turned to his Dad.

COLIN'S DAD: He called me on

the phone and asked if anybody

in the family had

circulation problems.

COLIN: Yep.

COLIN'S DAD:... and I

said no, why do you ask?

and you said well because

I can't get an erection.

And I was at the other end of

the phone and I think it went

dead, you know, what? he

can't get what, an erection?

Well the first thing that's hard

to deal with is knowing that

your child has a birth defect

which you helped create,

you know, and it's

particularly one that's like

this, you know, so that's the

first thing I have to deal with.

NARRATOR: When

Colin was examined,

the doctors discovered

that for some reason,

there was a fault in the flow of

blood into Colin's penis when he

became sexually aroused, making

it impossible to build up enough

pressure to produce an erection

The most common treatment for

erectile dysfunction is to take

pills, such as Viagra,

that increase blood flow

to the penis, but for Colin

the dr*gs didn't help.

COLIN: It just tore

me apart inside.

It was a constant

weight that was on me,

knowing that I couldn't

have sex with anybody.

It got to a point where I wanted

to have sex so bad that after

going through all the solutions,

the answer was finally a penile

implant.

NARRATOR: It took surgeons over

three and half hours to insert

silicon rods into the muscles

of Colin's penis that were

then attached to a small

pump inside his scrotum.

COLIN: Alright, here we

have an implant bulb,

which serves as a

pump and as a release.

So in your lower abdomen area

there's a fluid reservoir and

chords going all the way down

into the penile implant and into

the pump that's in the scrotum.

In real life, ok, so we have

the sluice chamber goes down

into the pump.

When I want to get an erection

I just pump a couple of times

and then all that fluid's in the

penis and I have an erection.

When I wanna deflate, I grab the

bulb and all of the fluid goes

back out of the penis through

the pump and that reservoir

balloon kind of fills back up.

That was a $30,000

erection that you just saw.

It was a huge relief after I

could finally have sex for

the first time it was just

like this weight was lifted off

my shoulders and I could finally

just step outside and feel free.

Funny enough the first erection

I ever had lasted me ten weeks.

MALE FRIEND Are you serious?

COLIN: Yeah because they put

the implant in at like 50 or 60%

inflated,

friend: what did

you do for ten weeks?

Stayed indoors!

He keeps joking around with

me that I should be the first

implant p*rn star.

I can have an erection whenever

I want to for as long as I want

to, something that was on my

mind every day for my entire

life up until that

point is now gone.

So now I can have a boner 24/7.

NARRATOR: With his

erection restored,

Colin is able to enjoy

a healthy sex life.

Back in Houston it's

Tiffany's bachelorette party.

She and her fianc,

Ryan, have never had sex.

But with their wedding just

3 days away that's all about

to change.

TIFFANY'S FRIEND:

You're getting married!

TIFFANY:.. In 3 days!

TIFFANY'S FRIEND: Are you

more excited or nervous?

TIFFANY: I think

I'm more excited.

TIFFANY'S FRIEND:

About the whole thing?

Like, the wedding day

and the wedding night?

NARRATOR: Tiffany uses her

bachelorette party to get some

last minute tips.

TIFFANY: I told

Ryan- I was like,

don't feel really bad if

just start crying during our

honeymoon for like no reason.

And he's like, do you mean

like while we're having sex?

I was like I didn't

mean that, but maybe!

I've asked some people that

I know and that I trust,

just what to expect and, you

know, how to prepare myself,

you know, emotionally

and physically, and...

FRIEND: Take it from

me who had no clue...

you will figure it out and you

will find things that you like

and you will find things

that you don't like,

but you have got to talk.

You have got to say that,

I did not feel that...

FRIEND: Yeah...

but it's ok 'cause I mean you're

married, so it's just like,

Ooh, I really liked

that, or don't do that!'

TIFFANY: Some of my friends

have just recommended, you know,

different lubricants to use and

condoms to use that, you know,

won't bother you and do whatever

you can to help you relax and be

comfortable together, naked,

you know, for the first time!

FRIEND: I didn't really

know what sex was 'til after

I got married.

I mean, no, like, seriously,

it's so different,

it's so much better and 10

years and 5 kids later...

...it keeps getting better!

GIRLS Ohh!

FRIEND: That's good news!

NARRATOR: Finding somebody to

have sex with is one of our most

powerful instincts, yet science

is beginning to recognise a

group of people who have no

desire to have intercourse

they're known as asexuals.

A recent study estimates there

are over 65 million asexuals

worldwide.

21 year old student Jenni

identifies herself as asexual.

JENNI: The basic definition is

that you lack sexual attraction

and for me it basically

just means that I don't look

at people and think Hmm.

Yeah, I'd have sex with you.

I mean people are like, Oh but

if you've not tried it then

how do you know?

And it's like, well,

if your straight,

have you tried having sex

with someone, you know,

of the same sex as you?

How do you know you

wouldn't enjoy that?

It- you just kind of know that

if you're not interested in it,

you're not interested in it,

regardless of have you tried it

or not?

NARRATOR: Asexuality is becoming

accepted as a distinct sexual

orientation, rather

than a disorder,

although science has yet

to uncover the reason

for the lack of sexual desire.

JENNI: There are people who

definitely view it as a disorder

and are like, Oh, if we give

you these pills we can fix it,

or people who ask you, Have

you had your hormones checked?

as though that's the

obvious solution,

they totally

understand what it is.

And then you have people who

go one step worse and I've been

asked before if I have

been molested as a child.

NARRATOR: Although Jenni

isn't interested in sex,

she has a boyfriend.

JENNI: Come on you.

Hey you.

NARRATOR: Tim and Jenni are a

few weeks into their sexless

relationship.

TIM: I mean, like, the first

time that Jenni sort of

mentioned in conversation...

JENNI: In my very subtle way.

TIM:... that she

was a-sexual, umm,

well my initial thought was,

Hmm, that's kind of odd.

But then I- I did know enough

to know not to make assumptions

sort of about what that meant.

NARRATOR: Even though asexuals

are not sexually attracted to

other people, research shows

many still have a sex drive

which they satisfy

through masturbation.

But even when couples

don't have sex,

studies have shown that kissing

and cuddling can cause the brain

to release oxytocin, a hormone

that's also released when people

in sexual relationships orgasm.

Jenni might be happy

to go without sex,

but in LA Rob is not.

It's been 2 weeks since

Rob last had intercourse,

to satisfy the demands of his

hormones he's turned to close

friend Brittany.

ROB: Tonight, I'm

looking forward to, uh,

to going out with...

with Brittany.

Brittany is a is

a friend of mine.

I'm pretty sure we're gonna

go out and have a lot of fun,

and then we'll probably

make our way back here.

I'm pretty sure

that's gonna happen.

The sex with Brittany...

it's good, yeah, definitely.

Yeah! Really good,

she knows what she's doing.

But yeah, good sex.

Hello Brittany.

BRITANNY: Hi!

ROB: How are you?

BRITTANY: Good. How are you?

I mean I like hanging out

with you 'cause we have

a really good time together

and you make me feel good about

myself.

It's just, you know, fun

and games but we're good

friends... with benefits.

ROB: Yeah.

That's well put.

Sex is supposed to feel good,

you're supposed to feel good

after having sex and I don't

want to hook up with a girl

that goes, Ah, what

why did I do that?

BRITTANY: Exactly, you want

to you don't want to wake up

the next morning and say,

I couldn't even tell you what

she looked like, I can't even

tell you her name,

I don't know where

she came from.

ROB: Do you have to

wake up early tomorrow?

...Like, do you

want to sleep over?

BRITTANY: You can't

just ask that,

you have to get me drunk first.

ROB: I don't have to

get your drunk first!

You've stayed over

about fifteen times...

BRITTANY: I've only

had one glass of wine.

ROB: 'Cos I need to know if

not I'm going to call another

person.

BRITTANY: Oh, you

have your line-up,

I'm a loser... your booty-calls?

ROB: I'm joking.

BRITTANY: We should

talk about something...

more juicy.

ROB: Sexual?

The plans for the rest of the

evening is going to go like

this: ah, we're going

to go and pick up, ah,

ingredients to make S'mores and

Brittany is going to make her

special whiskey cider, cook

that up and have a nice dessert,

and then maybe more dessert.

BRITTANY Stop.

ROB: There's nothing better

than... than a nice kiss.

It's the first spark, it's

the first initial, you know,

feeling.

NARRATOR: Packed with nerve

endings our lips and tongue

are incredibly sensitive

to stimulation.

A passionate kiss causes our

bodies to go into pleasure

overdrive; our pulse

and breathing quickens,

more oxygen rushes to our

brain, pleasure hormones flow

and our cheeks flush.

Not only does kissing arouse

us, it can improve sexual

gratification.

With his hormones flooding his

system Rob's body is primed

to have sex.

Oh, is that what you wanted...

see I wanted that.. Here take it

Brainwashed by his sex hormones,

Rob's libido is in overdrive.

He's turned to friend

with benefits, Brittany.

BRITTANY: Ah!

ROB: You taste like

marshmallow and gram crackers.

BRITTANY: inaudible Oh please.

Ow!

ROB: C'mere baby!

BRITTANY: Oh, jeez... Ah!

NARRATOR: Foreplay stimulates

a number of physiological

responses.

In Rob blood becomes trapped

inside his penis causing it to

swell and harden.

The vaginal walls

thicken and lubricate.

Upon penetration nerve

endings in the penis,

clitoris and vag*na are

stimulated increasing activity

in over 80 regions of the brain,

including the pleasure centers,

triggering the

start of the orgasm.

As the orgasm builds pulses

travel from the a**l sphincter

to the tip of the penis.

These pulses increase

in speed and intensity,

until climax is reached,

causing muscles around the body,

including the face, to spasm.

After an orgasm, a man's

brain releases chemicals,

such as prolactin, that

bring on tiredness.

ROB: That was a wonderful

passionate night and, ah, yeah.

We can't really show you what

went on because it would be

rated X.

We're starting to

connect more, you know,

there was definitely more

passion and more emotion.

BRITTANY: If you can

have fun together,

you have good sexual chemistr,

you have a lot in common.

It's hard to find

that in one package.

COUPLE 1: Yeah I would say, I

mean an orgasm feels like, yeah,

it's like pleasure but

it's also stress release,

it's a connection to her, it's

like relaxation coming over

your whole body.

MALE 1: Oh I absolutely

can get a girl to orgasm.

MALE 2: No, I think, um, that

actually for me it almost gets

me off to make the girl orgasm,

you know I would rather her

orgasm first obviously and

multiple times, if possible,

but um, no, it's a sense

of accomplishment, I think.

MALE 3: Yeah, the goal's

definitely her first and a

couple of times before you.

NARRATOR: Finding a compatible

sexual partner is vital for the

survival of the human species.

But for some people sex is

not about reproduction...

BRYAN: I would say 17 years old

was definitely my first sexual

encounter. It was with a guy.

I remember being nervous and

everything - there was that

awkwardness, like, is this what

you're supposed to be doing?

But I just sort of that

mentality where it's like,

I'm gay, so what?

I'm just sort of like fearless

about it, I'm just like,

You know what, just

whatever happens, happens.

Sex is supposed

to be fun, right?

I figure everybody has

sex, just, you know,

we have different kinds of sex.

DR LINDA: One of the interesting

things about differing

sexualities is that in- in

recent years we've found that

there's at least some evidence

to suggest a physiological

a biological hereditary

basis to this,

but having said this we

don't know a lot about it,

we don't know necessarily,

you know, why it exists,

and why it exists in the animal

kingdom as well because it's not

just, not just with humans.

NARRATOR: h*m* is found

throughout the animal kingdom,

having been observed

in almost 1, 500 species

ranging from giraffes

to bottle nose dolphins.

But the cause of h*m*

is still unknown,

however some reports suggest

each older brother increases

the odds of a man being

gay by 33%.

BRYAN: Once you know

that you are gay,

it then gets to the point where

you're taking that to the next

step, you know, interacting

with it I guess you'd say;

touching it, licking it, putting

it places - the whole shebang.

NARRATOR: Around three and a

half percent of American adults

describe themselves as

lesbian, gay or bisexual

about 11 million

people in total.

MALE 1: Well I was with women

before, when I was younger,

and after I was with

women I was with men.

GAY MAN 1: It all started

at the age of seventeen,

let's put it like that, I used

to date girls before that but at

the age of seventeen it was my

like my first funny experience

with a guy.

GAY MAN 2: Yeah, I lost

my virginity to a woman,

not even a woman it was a high

school girl when I was thirteen,

um, I had no idea that I was

gay or bi or anything until

I was divorced the second time.

MALE 1: People think that being

gay is a choice, it's not,

it's when you're gay that's

what you ultimately want.

NARRATOR: Scientists are still

trying to cr*ck the puzzle

of why some people prefer the

opposite sex, the same sex,

or in the case of some

people both sexes...

AIDAN: Sometimes I'm in

the mood to be straight,

so I only get with girls.

Sometimes I'm in the mood to

be gay so I only get with guys.

The grass is always

greener on the other side,

if you know what I mean?

So, if I'm with a guy

I wanna be with a girl,

if I'm with a girl I

wanna be with a guy?

NARRATOR: Like many bisexuals

Aiden has a higher sex drive

than either straight

or gay people.

AIDAN: Gay guys tend to think

I'm greedy so they don't really

see me as relationship material;

they see me more as a one-night

stand.

Um, girls they take it

either one of two ways.

One: they move away from the

idea of having sex with me

because I've had

sex with guys, um,

and the fact that they think

that if I were to have be in

a relationship with them then

they've got double the people

to look out for if I was

to cheat on them or, um,

someone wanted to try

and cheat with me.

I do enjoy casual sex

with I suppose anyone.

Um, but in my experience if I

wanted to go out tonight and

have sex, it would be easier to

get with a guy because I'm a lot

more comfortable just randomly

going out and getting with a guy

than I am with a girl, and I

think I could find a guy quicker

than I could find a girl

to go and have sex with.

NARRATOR: To satisfy his

sexual urges Aiden uses an app

on a smartphone to locate

potential partners.

AIDEN: I could in theory

probably meet like 5 or 6 people

and just be like, I'll meet

you there at this time or here

at this time.

I'm not saying that I

will, but you could.

A guys talking to me now, and

he's asking me for pictures.

I have some naughty pictures,

but mainly they- people ask for

more pictures of your face just

because you can put any profile

picture up but that doesn't

necessarily mean that's you.

NARRATOR: It's not long before

Aiden tracks down somebody

who wants to have sex.

AIDEN: I didn't know it was

gonna definitely happen tonight,

but I've obviously been talking

and I told him my day off was

today and tomorrow so I've

just been kind of hinting it

I suppose, to him, and now he's

kind of come back and said,

Well, I've got an hour, so I can

get there in kind of ten minutes

and then be done in be done

in half an hour so I'll be

quite happy.

Um, I do have a condom

in my back pocket, um,

just in case he doesn't.

NARRATOR: Meeting up with

a stranger for casual sex

is risky, but it's a risk

that Aiden's willing to take.

Bisexual Aiden is on his

way to have sex with a stranger

he's arranged to meet

using a smartphone app.

AIDEN: I guess what goes through

my mind on the way to hook up

is, um, a bit of nervousness;

I've never met the guy before.

Obviously the thrill of going

to actually meet someone,

the excitement of that is

a is a big factor which I enjoy.

NARRATOR: A sense of danger

can fuel sexual excitement.

Heightened levels of adrenaline

can double the heart rate;

a rush of endorphins produce

a sense of exhilaration,

and in the brain, instinct

takes over this is not a time

for thinking, but for action!

AIDEN: Definitely

nervous at the moment.

I want to make sure

I perform, firstly.

I gotta make sure that,

because he's quite attractive,

that he um that he enjoys it.

It was a very good night.

We both got what we wanted out

of it and it was a good release

for me, I really enjoyed it.

I suppose I can relate it to

when I go to the gym and when

you had a good workout,

you pumped some iron,

and it's the same kind of

feeling that you get when

you go for a hook up.

It's like you've

got more energy,

you've just released loads

and now you've got more and

you just wanna like do it again.

NARRATOR: With increased

sexual activity,

the greater the risk of

contracting a sexually

transmitted disease.

There are at least 25 different

STD's that can be spread through

vaginal, a**l and oral sex.

Most can be prevented by

wearing a condom, but others,

like herpes, can be spread

by skin to skin contact,

and are less easy to avoid.

The most common STD is

Human Papilloma Virus,

which infects over 50 per

cent of sexually active people

at some point in their lives.

And in the last decade the

number of people with Chlamydia

has doubled it can be

easily cured with antibiotics,

but it left untreated it can

lead to sterility in women

and men.

But for some STDs

there is no cure...

BRYAN: The guy who infected me I

met through a mutual friend

and then, slowly but surely, we

just sort of had this connection

going.

Then we eventually started

exploring ourselves sexually;

we started a relationship,

what can I say?

It was actually probably my

first love I'd say I had.

We never used protection,

even at the beginning

of the relationship.

I was head over heels, I never

thought anything about it.

And so, finally,

I just started asking:

like have you ever contracted

anything from some people?

Well, it went silent.

And he finally full out

said, Well I have HIV.

I started getting sick, I

mean my whole body ached.

This was like probably a week

and a half-two weeks after

he told me.

I like... being in the

mentality where I was like,

This can't happen to me.

I'm really young...

and everything, just

I can't be this sick.

I literally felt like I

wanted to keel over and die.

NARRATOR: Brian let the world

know he was HIV positive.

BRYAN: I'm sorry to tell you

this but the blood results that

we took on you have come back

and you have HIV... I've never

felt so violated before,

never, at all felt so violated.

All sense of trust and

everything flew out the window.

It was just like death became

a reality at that point.

He was very ruthless towards

me, very, just like, you know,

you brought this upon

yourself, you didn't ask,

that's your problem,

blah blah blah.

That is a crime, I mean,

if you're HIV positive,

you're supposed to

let your partner know.

I didn't know how

to react to it.

NARRATOR: HIV att*cks

our immune system.

If left untreated the virus

will destroy our body's ability

to fight off infection; a

condition known as AIDS.

To date over one million

Americans have contracted AIDS.

But thanks to powerful

anti-viral dr*gs,

it's no longer the certain

death sentence it once was.

DOCTOR: When we first measured

your virus level in March,

it was 55,000 viruses per

cc of blood, and last month,

as expected, after three months

of your medication your virus

levels dropped quite a bit

and they're down to 93 copies.

So, I anticipate that this

month we shall see no virus,

detectable by this

method anyways.

BRYAN: I hope so, yeah.

BOYFRIEND: Do you want to

put some onions in there?

BRYAN: Go for it. Do you wanna

do that while I get

the Zucchini going?

BOYFRIEND: Yeah.

NARRATOR: For

Brian, life goes on.

He has a new partner, Travis,

who is also HIV positive.

BRYAN: There's always

that type of thing, like,

how is my partner going to

respond when they find out

I'm HIV positive?

Are they not gonna wanna

be with me anymore?

I mean, we dealt with that

even before we met each other,

we just knew it was

going to be a non-issue.

TRAVIS: Right.

We're gonna make it.

NARRATOR: In Texas, Tiffany and

Ryan's two-year wait to have sex

is almost over.

TIFFANY: I'm excited;

I'm really excited.

There's already, you know,

Ryan can't find his tie but

that's okay.

But everything else is

like gorgeous I mean,

the setup is beautiful; I walked

up and I just almost started

crying.

I couldn't have asked for better

weather, so, I'm really excited

RYAN: I'm pretty nervous;

I don't really feel like

I know what's

going on right now.

Um, things are kind

of moving fast.

NARRATOR: Waiting until they are

married to have sex is a gamble,

as sexual dissatisfaction is one

of the main reasons for divorce.

In just a few hours Tiffany

and Ryan will discover

just how sexually compatible

they really are...

It's Ryan and

Tiffany's wedding day.

In just a few hours they're

going to have sex for

the first time.

MINISTER: We are gathered here,

in the sight of God and these

witnesses, you; the closest

friends and family of Ryan

and Tiffany.

FRIEND: It is God that ordained

the man and his wife to both be

naked and not ashamed,

but that's later.

MINISTER: By the

power vested in me,

by God and the great

state of Texas,

I pronounce you man and wife.

Ryan you may kiss your bride.

FRIEND: Well I'm pretty

sure she's really excited,

I'm sure because we've talked

about it over and over and over

and over again.

I mean she's got all the advice

from everybody around her

so she'll take it from there.

She's ready!

The couple of the century,

Mr and Mrs Ryan Butterfras!

TIFFANY: With me, being a

virgin there are some things

that I just won't know

until we have sex,

but I'm not you know stupid,

everyone knows how sex works.

FRIEND: Kiss for the camera!

TIFFANY: More than being nervous

I am very excited to have a

deeper connection and, you know,

it's a joy to be able to walk

into this together and

say, Hey, you know,

now we can be completely

vulnerable together and

know each other to the fullest.

I'm really excited, I'm ready.

TIFFANY: The wedding night was

actually I would say better

than I expected.

We drove back to the hotel

and everything went smoothly.

RYAN: Yeah. No speeding

tickets on the way to the hotel,

she had to tell me to

slow down several times.

TIFFANY: It was actually

a really great experience,

it was the best, I mean better

than I could have asked for

a first experience with sex.

RYAN: It doesn't feel like to me

like it's the same thing every

time, it feels like it's a

whole different new experience,

every time.

There's always

that kind of like,

sometimes I'll have an off day,

other times I won't, you know,

and vice versa so I don't

know if that means...

TIFFANY: That

hasn't happened yet!

RYAN: Well I appreciate that.

TIFFANY: I'm really enjoying it!

RYAN: I'm blushing now.

NARRATOR: Sex may be fun, but

let's not forget it does have

a serious purpose.

Carl and April are soon

to have their first baby.

CARL: It feels good

to be out, doesn't it?

APRIL: Yeah, it feels like ages.

CARL: It's just the fact that

in the next couple of weeks,

you know, there's going to

be a little kid in my arms,

you know what I mean?

It's just unbelievable,

it really is.

NARRATOR: Although around a

quarter million babies are born

every day, actually getting

somebody pregnant is

surprisingly tricky.

Of the hundreds of millions

of sperm that make it into

the vag*na almost all

are k*lled instantly.

The few thousand that do survive

are drawn by heat and chemicals

to the fallopian tubes.

The closer to the egg they

get, the faster the sperm swim.

It's a race against time.

Too slow and they'll either be

destroyed by the woman's immune

system or run out of energy.

Only about a dozen sperm will

make it anywhere near the egg,

of which one, the strongest,

will penetrate it,

creating a new life.

APRIL: The baby

moves quite a lot,

I get a few little kicks

or or even hiccups actually.

It's stopped now.

NARRATOR: Our sexual urges are

so great that even when a female

is pregnant, we still

want to have intercourse.

MALE 1: When my partner was

pregnant she was definitely

more sexually active

than... at... before.

I believe her hormones just

kicked in and she was like

super-super

all the time

GIRL 1: I think you

get really horny, um,

while you're pregnant.

No, from the hormones

I'm not joking,

I couldn't get enough of it,

but now I'm like starting

to slow down.

Now I'm like, you know,

in the position and like,

trying to like, find the angles

of like how... how we're going

to do it and stuff like that

gets a little bit, you know,

tricky and you gotta

just be creative.

GIRL 2: In my second trimester I

was the horniest I've ever been

in my life, and then in the

third trimester you're just

so huge and uncomfortable you

really just kind of get through

the day and kind of float

in a pool if you can.

APRIL: Yeah, my sex drive

definitely went up for a while.

NARRATOR: The surge of hormones

during pregnancy can increase

blood flow to the pelvic area

and enhance vaginal lubrication.

Intensifying the feelings of

sexual arousal and pleasure.

But the changes in a woman's

body shape can cause problems.

CARL: She was on top and she

slipped and I could feel the

bump hit me in the stomach, it

was like proper freaked me out.

And that's- that's what I

was kinda thinking, you know,

'cause if the bump gets

some impact, you know,

it will have an effect on the

baby, you know what I mean,

and it was just...

APRIL: You're limited

to what you can do,

so it kind of takes the

fun out of it a little bit.

I'm gonna put this on here.

NARRATOR: Studies suggest a

man's sex drive drops around

the birth of his child.

This could be to stop him

straying and to promote bonding

with the new baby.

CARL: I can't wait.

It's just the thought, just the

thought of her just being there

in my arms. I can't wait.

NARRATOR: The time has come

for April to give birth.

CARL: The contractions started

about 4 o'clock this afternoon

and, um, yeah it's

been a long day.

So it's been going on for

the best part of 11 hours.

APRIL: A lot of things scare me

you know when it comes to what

I'm gonna be like as a

parent if I'm honest.

how is my child going

to turn out? you know?

Will I being doing this right?

They are little things that

I have already thought about.

NARRATOR: After 16 hours in

labour April gives birth.

APRIL: This is

Ellie Marie Paddon.

I feel amazing; just, words

can't describe how happy

I am right now.

Really, truly amazing

how gorgeous she is.

Do you know what, it still sort

of hasn't really sunk in yet

that I'm a mum?

NARRATOR: Our sex drive pushes

us to spread our genes as wide

as possible; it also plays

a vital role in keeping us

together.

Raising a family can unite

a couple for a lifetime,

but it may also cause things

to change in the bedroom.

MAREN: Well, we met

almost nineteen years ago.

It was at a very fun

time in our lives,

and we did a lot of travelling

and we did a lot of rock

climbing and just had a lot

of fun before we had a lot of

responsibilities.

KEVIN: I remember when

we first started dating,

we would get together on

any day probably the first thing

we'd take care of was sex and

then we'd do something else.

MAREN: Sex before we

would go rock climbing,

sometimes at the climbing spot.

KEVIN: Right?

It was definitely an everyday

occurrence for sure, you know,

and a lot of the

times twice a day!

NARRATOR: When couples orgasm,

it's thought a hormone called

oxytocin is released, that's

been linked to promoting

feelings of affection,

contentment and attachment,

which help couples bond.

FEMALE: Sex is the most

important part of a

relationship, if you don't have

sexual chemistry you don't have

anything

MALE: Of course not, it's only,

at that moment it's only you

and her; It's nobody else, so it

can't get any closer than that.

MALE: Sex got a lot better.

We both didn't know what

we were doing at first,

and then like we like practised

everything with each other

and got real good so...

FEMALE: Yeah, so it's awesome.

MALE 2: I think the sex gets

better as you continue to have

sex with that same person,

so a one night stand is fun

but it's not as good as

having a committed relationship.

MALE: I think sex has changed a

little bit, its more intimate,

I think it's more deeply tied

to how we're responding to each

other on a relationship

level first.

FEMALE: Yeah, I would say our

sex fluctuates in and out of

different periods and

times because, you know,

life changes and when you've

been together for so long

things, life fluctuates,

what you gonna do?

MAREN: I'm even more in love

with Kevin than when we got

married, and our relationship

has just gotten deeper

and richer...

KEVIN: It evolves

every day, you know?

Before I met Maren I think the

longest relationship I'd had

was less than a year.

I couldn't imagine 19 years ago

that this is where we'd be and

this is how I'd feel about her.

NARRATOR: But the stress of

life can put the brakes on even

the most active of sex lives.

KEVIN: You know, since we've had

kids we've given up a lot of

our freedom.

MAREN: So Kai, what was your

favorite part about this weekend

KAl: A lot of trampolines.

KEVIN: Since we first met

I started my own business,

which takes me away from

home 80 hours of a week.

We've had some very low

points in our relationship;

there's been talk of

divorce at points.

MAREN: Neither of us, I think,

even are really wanting

to have sex at nine o

clock-nine-thirty at night,

because we're both

just so tired.

We're both just thinking

about sleeping and not sex.

NARRATOR: It's been shown that

for every month a couple

are together a woman's sexual

desire decreases by about 1%,

whereas men's sex drive

remains largely the same.

The reason for a couple's

decline in passion may not

lie in dropping levels

of sex hormones,

but rather stress and simply

finding the time to be sexy.

Maren and Kevin turn to

a sex therapist for help.

CHRISTINE: Hi.

MAREN: Hi.

CHRISTINE: Come on in.

You've been together for

more than 20 years right?

KEVIN and MAREN: Nineteen.

CHRISTINE: Yeah nineteen, you

know what makes each other tick.

KEVIN: Our daily sex clock is

kind of off with each other,

whereas when we first

started dating it was,

we were both 24-7,

I think on that.

CHRISTINE: But that can be

interpreted as a lack of

interest for a specific partner,

rather than a lack of general

interest in sex.

KEVIN: I may not be feeling

it 100% all the time below

the waist but it's

always in my head.

But now it's like, you know, we

both have small windows I think

where we... where our

greatest desire is in.

Mine's usually early

in the morning,

hers is in the afternoon so

they don't always rhyme

with each other.

MAREN: When there've been

dips in Kevin's sex drive,

it's been very troubling to me

and that has made me feel, like,

maybe there- you know, maybe

he's not desiring me like

he used to?

I know that he probably has

satisfied himself in other ways

in his office...

KEVIN: Just to get it done, I

would probably just rather take

care of it myself. Which I do.

CHRISTINE: So part

of your homework,

what we're gonna recreate when

you go away is we're gonna

recreate a day when you had no

children and when you had those

moments of wanting to

have sex with each other.

If you are willing to put the

effort into planning a sexual

experience you stand to have

a much better and more

satisfying experience because

all the planning is done

and when it finally comes

to having sex you don't have

to think about that.

MAREN: I think that sounds

great. I'm in. Pick me.

KEVIN: Alright!

CHRISTINE: Alrighty.

Have a good time!

MAREN: Thank you!

Bye, Bye...

NARRATOR: To rescue their sex

life Maren and Kevin are going

indulge their

favourite fantasies,

but will it be enough?

On the advice of

a sex therapist,

Kevin and Maren hope a weekend

away will help resurrect their

sexual desire for each other.

KEVIN: It's been a long

time since we've, um,

had a night away together.

MAREN: We're very much

looking forward to it,

just not leaving our room!

And there's a Jacuzzi tub so we

could shower first and then have

a Jacuzzi and then I do remember

her talking about him giving me

a massage, which I

think would be fabulous.

KEVIN: Just looking forward to

the evening; to get started.

So, yeah we're gonna have

a nice little weekend here.

Do some of the things that

Christine asked us to do for,

um, our homework assignment.

MAREN: I want... stripper shoes.

Got my Linda Evan's wig.

Got my new Christmas present.

I think men sexually are

very visual, you know,

it's very pleasing to the eye I

know for him and it's fun for me

because I'm usually

in jeans and sweats.

It's nice to feel really

sexy and beautiful for him,

he definitely seems

to respond to that.

KEVIN: Beauty.

MAREN: And after a long day

you want to physically connect

with your partner.

Here's to some alone time.

Yes!

It was wonderful!

KEVIN: Yeah it was awesome.

We had more sex than we had in

the last month I think in one

night, so yeah, it was good.

In the beginning, we could not

stand to not be naked together

I think, you know!

like walking in the door

and get naked and have sex

and slowly over time you know

you get more responsibilities

and you have less time for sex.

You eventually have to start

scheduling it really, you know?

MAREN: So I think it was kind of

a gradual thing that there was

just less and less...

KEVIN: Our best bet is to

plan more time by ourselves,

I think you know?

MAREN: It's that

time factor, again.

KEVIN: Yeah

MAREN:... of getting the hours

at a time where we can just be

together.

NARRATOR: In the sex lab

the volunteers have finished

the last test.

Initial results showed clear

biological signs of arousal

between a number

of the subjects,

especially between

Katherine and Chris.

Data from the eye-tracking

experiment also showed a high

level of visual attraction

when they met face to face.

Dr Linda wants to see how the

volunteers' conscious choice of

a potential sexual partner,

matches their subconscious

bodily reactions.

DR LINDA: Guys, I wanna go

around all of you and I want you

to answer just very simply, have

you met anyone tonight that you

think has potential in terms of

making a-making a connection?

MALE 1: No.

MALE 2: There are a couple of

girls who have caught my eye,

maybe not in the long term

but in the short term.

MALI'll think about it. bit

early to tell but I dunno,

DR LINDA: So you might

ask them out on a date?

MALE 3: I'm thinking about it...

MALE 4: I think umm maybe

in the short term, you know,

to get to know them

a little better.

At least one or two.

DR LINDA: Have there

been any connections?

Can you see yourself

seeing these guys again?

Let's, let's start over here

GIRL 1: Sure, but nobody

I would take seriously.

GIRL 2: I think there are

probably, definitely be two,

I think yeah.

One I think is more personality

and one is personality

and the looks.

GIRL 3: One in

particular, very much so;

physical attraction already,

like that's something and I feel

like there's something that

clicked from the beginning and,

um, and yeah maybe

it's a bit, you know,

the whole fantasy of that, but

there definitely is like

an initial really wanting to get

to know one and there's a lot of

sparks that fly.

NARRATOR: With the

experiment over,

the subjects could relax

and let natural sexual chemistry

take over...

DR LINDA: Sex is vital.

Even later on the ability to

maintain this sense of feeling

needed and feeling connected.

The physicality of sex is vital

so this idea that it is just

there to ensure that we we

procreate, I think isn't enough,

I think it's a much much

deeper, much more integral part

of our humanity.
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