Secret Sex Life of a Single Mom, The (2014)

[bunniefuu]

Are you going to be

a good sub and do as I say?

Yes.

Yes, what?

Yes, sir.

And why will you submit

to me in this way?

Because I am your sub, sir.

That's right. And

why are you my sub?

Because you are worthy

of being my dom.

Good girl.

The story I'm about

to tell you may shock you.

Make you feel uncomfortable...

even scared.

But not for the

reasons you think.

Mom!

Hey, sweetheart.

Chad's mom says not to pick him up on

Thursday. He's not going to practice.

Thank you. Now why don't you go take your

dirty uniform off and put in the laundry?

This is my story. And it's real.

It's not a fantasy

or a nightmare,

although it has

elements of both.

It's a story of liberation

through sex,

power, domination,

submission... and love.

The story has its

beginnings, like many,

in what I now see was

a very unhealthy marriage.

Woo-hoo!! Take that, jerk-off!

Tyler! How many times

do I have to tell you

to turn that game off?

And don't talk like that.

Hello?

Hey. How's it going?

Oh, hey! Um, good. I guess

you got checked in okay?

Obviously, or I wouldn't be

calling you right now. Listen,

I'm gonna stick around for a couple extra

days, do some golfing with a few of the guys.

Oh. Okay. Well, as long

as you're gonna be

back by Halloween?

Yes, Delaine, how many times

do you have to ask me?

I will be back to take the

kids trick-or-treating.

Mommy, is that Daddy?

Yes, it is, sweetheart.

Tyler, it's time for dinner.

Amanda wants to talk to you,

hold on one second.

No, listen, Delaine, I gotta go. I

gotta meet some guys down at the bar.

I'll call you tomorrow, okay?

Okay.

I wanted to say hi to Daddy!

Oh, I know, I'm sorry,

sweetheart.

I promise we'll call him

tomorrow, okay?

Okay.

Now, napkins on our laps.

I didn't know it then, but this

was the beginning of the end.

For years, I'd single-handedly

raised our two children

while my husband made a living.

He was rarely around,

and when he was,

his attention was elsewhere.

So when he was home,

I tried to keep the peace

for the sake of our kids,

and when he was gone,

I just made excuses.

Hello?

Is Robert there?

No. He's away for work.

Who is this?

Chubbo's Bar & Grill.

Hi. I just got a call

from this number.

It was a woman asking for

my husband, Robert Morris.

Uh, that was Natasha.

Just hang up on her.

Just hang up!

No, please, don't hang up!

Hello?

Your girlfriend just called.

What girlfriend? What are

you talking about? Natasha.

Okay, listen to me.

I'm coming home.

I'm coming home right now.

Robert insisted

he wasn't in love

with Natasha.

It was purely sexual.

He said the affair was my fault.

If I'd been more

interested in sex,

he wouldn't have gone

looking for it elsewhere.

So I tried.

Somehow, I managed to twist the

betrayal I felt into anger at myself

for being an inferior wife, and

instead of demanding that he leave,

I forgave him...

even though the act

of sex made me feel

even less connected to him.

Jim said Robert invited him to go

to the car show this weekend, so...

Oh, gosh!

What just happened?

Every once in a while,

I get this searing pain

in my hip. It's...

I've been to three doctors and none

of them can tell me what's wrong.

That's because western medicine sucks.

Oh.

You need to go see an acupuncturist.

When I had that thing with my neck,

it's the only thing that worked.

The guy I saw was good.

I'll give you

his number. Graham

is the name.

Okay.

Here it is.

An acupuncturist?

You know that stuff's just

a bunch of phony crap, right?

There's no scientific evidence

that sticking needles

into your skin relieves pain.

I just haven't slept through the

night for weeks. I wanna try it.

Okay, fine.

Try it. But we're going

to cancel your gym membership.

So the choice is yours.

You can have

some tree-hugger stick

you with needles,

or you can have your spin class.

Up to you.

Over the years, I had deferred

so many decisions to my husband

that I wondered if I was capable of

even making a right choice anymore.

I hadn't always been like that.

I could remember a time

when I was confident and happy

and could hold my own

in any situation.

Acupuncture is the study

of the body as a whole.

Qi is the energy

that flows through us.

When it's interrupted,

you have pain. But

that doesn't mean

that the block is in the hip. It

might be somewhere else in the body.

You can sit up now.

So since your doctors have

ruled out organ malfunction

and you don't have any injuries,

let's talk about

your emotional health.

Can you think of anything that

might be causing you stress?

No, everything's good.

Well, it may take

a few sessions,

but we'll figure it out.

There was something about Graham

that made me feel... centered.

His sessions helped me so much

that I started going

twice a week.

And about a month in,

I had what you might call...

a breakthrough.

What did today's

session trigger?

My husband had an affair.

You're the first person

I've told.

I can't really blame him,

though. I looked her up online,

she's gorgeous.

Delaine,

his cheating had to do

with him, not you.

I just want him to be

attracted to me.

He says he will

after I get breast implants.

Whose idea was that?

Mine. Sort of.

I just want him to be happy.

Are you happy?

I will be.

When I feel like

I'm enough for him.

Delaine, uh...

For there to be real love

between two people,

there has to be a spiritual

relationship.

A physical relationship

without the spiritual

is like a body with no soul.

You have a beautiful spirit.

See, women have a feminine

energy that we don't.

So the masculine energy

craves the feminine one

for completion.

That's why it's more about

a spiritual connection

than a physical one.

You exude that feminine energy.

And that is why

you are so alluring.

Graham's words made me feel

attractive again.

For years, I had just turned

my head and ignored it

when Robert would stare at a

beautiful woman in a restaurant

or at the store.

But when I thought of Graham,

I thought of a man who

couldn't keep his eyes off me.

For once, I was

the object of desire.

And on nights

when Robert was gone,

I began to imagine

what it would feel like

to make love to Graham.

I did feel guilty fantasizing about

someone who wasn't my husband.

But those fantasies

awoke something in me

that had been gone a long time.

You're making progress.

It doesn't hurt like it used to.

Well, normally I'd tell you that

you don't need to come in as often.

But I'm not going to say that.

I wanna make sure that

I'm not making a mistake.

Who's saying it's a mistake?

Your head or your heart?

I want to break bread

With you

To dance amongst

the dead with you

To fall into the arms

Of the sea and to breathe

I want to break

each rule with you

I want to say I can be true

To feel your body

breaking through

Is to breathe and

breathe and breathe

Even though I was riddled

with guilt afterward,

I did something I never

thought I would do.

I had sex with someone

besides Robert.

Go ahead. One, two.

There are people

who will tell you that an affair can

actually make a marriage better.

Okay, go again.

Hey.

Did you forget to pack my gray slacks?

They were at the cleaners,

So I packed your brown ones instead

and the shirt that goes with 'em.

Right, see,

this is why you need to ask them

specifically for next-day service.

It's the whole reason we

switched dry cleaners, right?

Yeah, I guess it was.

Yeah. Okay, I gotta go.

It doesn't make it better.

It just gives you

something to escape to. Whose turn is it?

Mine.

Awesome, let's go.

The marriage is still broken.

A broken marriage for me,

at that time,

seemed a better alternative

than a broken home for them,

so I chose to stay

with Robert. By February,

Graham and I were embroiled

in a full-on affair.

For the first time in years,

I felt loved.

But, to protect my kids,

we never met

where a nosy neighbor or gossipy

soccer mom might see us.

Our meetings were confined

to his clinic

or clandestine rendezvous

in hotel rooms.

I don't know how to explain it.

Robert always made me feel

like he could do... better.

And Graham makes me feel

like I'm the best there is.

Okay.

What about the kids?

That's what I wanted

to talk to you about.

Part of me thinks the kids

would be better off with

Robert not around so much.

Tyler's picking up

some of his bad habits.

Okay, what does Graham

have to say about that?

He says it's impossible

to have a healthy upbringing

in an unhealthy environment.

It's better to have two parents

that are happy and apart than

together and dysfunctional.

Mm-hmm... I am so horny.

I'll go shut the door.

No, no, wait.

When I get back

from the trade show,

I think we should schedule

your gift to me.

I'm gonna be around a lot more,

I can take care of the kids

while you recover.

And one of the guys from work

told me his wife

had a great surgeon,

so he's gonna send me

the doctor's info.

What?

I don't want breast implants.

I don't want to stay

in this marriage.

I want a divorce.

You want a divorce from me?

I've thought a lot about it.

So that's it?

No discussion?

Nothing?

You don't want a boob job

and you're leaving now?

Please. Keep your voice down.

This marriage hasn't worked

for a long time, Robert.

What are you talking about?

We've been happier now

than we have in years!

I'm not happy.

Oh, right, okay.

So, what's it going to take

to make Delaine happy?

I don't know if you can.

I don't know if you care to.

Do you have any idea

how selfish and

ungrateful you are?

Hmm?

Do you know how many women would

love to have what you have?

A husband who provides

for his wife and kids

so she can just sit

around the house all day?

I don't sit around the house

all day, Robert.

Come on!

You have no idea

how good you have it.

None.

I don't know what else to say.

I just want this to end.

No, you know what, actually,

I don't think you do.

I think this is just

some kind of ploy

so you can get more attention.

Poor Delaine, she's not fulfilled

in her marriage, right?

You know what? I don't have time

for this crap right now.

I worked today.

I busted my hump to provide

for you and the kids.

So you know what?

If you think I'm that bad,

just go sleep on the couch.

This is my bed.

I bought it.

Go have your little pity party

somewhere else.

Go.

I hadn't planned on telling

Robert the way I did.

It just came out because I couldn't

keep it inside any longer.

I felt such a mix of emotions.

Relief that the marriage

was finally over.

Happiness that I could

start over with Graham.

Fear of how vindictive

Robert would be

during the divorce.

And guilt.

Incredible guilt that I was

taking my children's family

away from them.

Did Robert move out yet?

He's going to this weekend.

Did you tell him about Graham? No!

No, I'm afraid he'll hold it

against me with the kids,

you know, "Your mother's

leaving me for another guy."

Do they know

you're separating yet?

Robert thinks I should be

the one to tell them.

So he's getting his stuff out, the

kids and I are gonna leave the house,

and then I will sit them down

and explain it to them.

I'm dreading it.

There are a lot worse things

than having divorced parents.

Not to a four-year-old.

Okay, so we're gonna have

a really important talk.

You know how... well, me

and Daddy haven't been...

very happy lately?

We've been sad.

Well, sometimes...

in order for mommies and daddies

to continue to be

really good parents,

we have to do things

that don't make sense.

Are you getting a divorce??

Yes, sweetheart.

We are.

We decided

that Mom and Dad are gonna live

in separate houses.

Why?

Because that way

we can all be really happy.

It'll be like your friend

Hannah. She lives

with her mom and her dad...

I know it seems like

a really big change,

and it's hard

to understand right now,

but it really is the best thing

for all of us, I promise you.

No! I don't want it!

I hate you!

Tyler, please...

It's okay, Mommy.

I'm not mad at you.

I just love you both so much.

The spring had brought with it

a sense of revival for me.

Freedom.

And it came through Graham.

I was scared to be on my own,

but somehow I knew

I just had to keep

moving forward.

Even Tyler began to have

moments where he would

smile and laugh.

I finally felt like my life was

moving in the right direction.

Mom! Look! Hannah's here!

Oh! You can go say hi if you want, honey.

Just hold on to your sister's hand. Sara!

Hey!

Hi!

How are you?

It's nice to see you.

I see you completely got suckered

into this place as well.

Yeah, it's the only way

I can bribe Hannah

to go to the dentist.

Oh...

So, how are you?

I haven't had a chance to talk

to you since Robert moved out.

That's right. I'm doing

really well, thank you.

Really?

Yeah.

That look makes me think

you've met someone.

I have.

He's wonderful.

What's he like?

He's... tall,

dark and handsome.

He's thin, super fit.

He's a big runner.

He's got these beautiful,

light, caring eyes.

He's into spirituality

and healing.

He's an acupuncturist.

I don't know how to explain it,

he's just very centered.

Well, where's his practice?

It's over on South Main,

on the west side.

He doesn't drive a gold SUV?

Yeah, he does!

His name's not Graham, is it?

Yeah! Yeah, it is.

This is too funny!

How do you know him?

Wow...

Sara?

Uh... I don't even know

how to tell you this.

What a complete d*ck.

Tell me what?

You're starting to freak me out.

Graham...

is in a relationship

with another woman too.

The woman he's with

is having a baby in three weeks.

No, that's not possible.

My Graham is divorced,

he already has three kids.

It's not the same.

Delaine, it's the same one.

The woman that's having his baby

is my friend. We used to go

running with him every weekend.

I'm so sorry.

How could you do this to me?

After everything that I went

through with Robert?

All the love and the trust

that I showed you?

How long were you going

to put my life on hold?

I don't know.

Say something

besides 'I don't know'! Help me

make some sense out of this!

I didn't tell you because

I didn't have the balls to.

Is that what you wanna hear?

I don't know, I guess

I figured you'd

find out eventually,

and you did.

That's what I'm gonna get?

After the crap about a spiritual connection

and how I should be enough for someone?

Well, clearly I wasn't

enough for you!

I wasn't lying when I said

you're a beautiful person...

I left my husband

for you, Graham!

That's not true. You left your husband

because he didn't love and appreciate you.

Well, neither did you.

This was my punishment,

I thought.

For having an affair while I was still

married. For wanting more than I had.

My head was still so messed up

from Robert, and at the time,

part of me still felt like I

didn't deserve anything better.

I know better now,

but back then, I was still

in the old habit of believing

everything was my fault.

You're getting divorced,

Delaine.

You're not dead.

She's right, you know.

After my divorce,

I tried online dating

and I loved it.

It's like choosing men or women

out of a catalog. Women?!

Yeah. It was something I always

wanted to try. Good lord.

I don't know anything

about this lesbian thing,

but I agree with

the online dating.

It just sounds weird to you

because it wasn't invented

when you and Robert tied the knot.

Who's gonna want to date a

36-year-old with two small kids?

I think these could be cute.

Very cute. Put it on my list.

Why would they care?

It's not like you're bringing

your kids on the date!

Just drink, dance,

and have sloppy sex.

That's not the kind

of date I want!

I want a relationship.

A real one.

With a guy that's

kind of like Graham,

just faithful.

Pretty sure I deserve that.

You definitely do. First off,

there are lots of great guys out there

who are not gonna be intimidated

by your entourage

of little munchkins.

I just don't understand why

you have to find Mr. Right.

Start with Mr. Tonight.

She doesn't want a one-night stand.

She wants what's always been missing

from her life... a guy who

will love and respect her.

That's never gonna happen sleeping

with a guy three hours after meeting.

Okay, the 1950s called and they

want their sexual politics back.

Old-fashioned or not, she's too

good to be somebody's booty call.

You know, a guy that respects women,

and I mean truly respects women,

is gonna get that we are in

control of our own sexuality.

Where were these when I had my kid? There's

no need to play this game of how many dates

to go on before you fall into bed,

hoping he'll call the next day.

Sounds like you think I

should sleep around. Delaine,

I'm just saying that if you

wanna bunk up with this guy

on the first date, then do it.

If it's the tenth,

it's the tenth. Or never.

But it should be when you want.

Not when you think it's been

long enough to earn his respect.

So I picked a free site

and I created a profile.

I didn't put much stock in it. I just

wanted to see how many of these guys

still found me appealing.

"You have 43 new responses"?!

This guy messaged you?

Yeah.

He's 23, fitness model

slash entrepreneur.

Translation: No job, and he

spends a lot of time at the gym.

He said he's attracted

to older women.

Won't you feel like a cougar

if you go out with him though?

Oh yes. Is that a bad thing?

Show me another one.

Okay, this guy is Cal.

He is 45, software developer,

divorced with twin boys.

He's not bad.

Do you like him?

He's not as tall as Graham.

Don't compare

these guys to Graham!

I think you should go out with him.

Really?

Mm-hmm. What have you

got to lose?

For the first time in 16 years,

I got ready for a date.

Oh my God, I forgot

how hard that is.

The mobile unit you are

trying to reach is unavailable.

Leave a voice message

at the tone.

Uh, hey Cal.

It's Delaine.

I'm here at the bar

and I just wanted to let you

know I'm wearing a blue shirt.

Just in case maybe you walked in

and didn't recognize me.

Okay, well, I'm looking forward

to meeting you in person.

Bye.

You want me to open a tab?

Yeah,

I'm sure we'll order food

when he gets here. Thanks.

I'll bring the menu.

Thanks.

So he stood you up.

Aren't you glad

you found out he's a jerk

now instead of later?

I didn't need this crap right

now, not after what Graham did.

I know, honey.

Do you wanna come over?

I have vodka and really bad

store-bought cookies.

No. Thanks, though.

Are you sure?

We could go out.

You could get sloppy drunk

and I'll be your designated driver.

Woo-hoo.

No, I'm fine. I'll just go home

and take a hot bath.

Okay. Call me tomorrow, okay?

Yes, ma'am. You get back

to your downward dog.

Alright, love. G'night.

Good night.

And in a momentary lapse

of reason,

I made the granddaddy

of all mistakes.

Can you guess what I did?

Yeah. I went to Graham's house.

Graham?

Graham, please, open the door!

Graham, please, open the door!

I hate you.

Looking back, I can truly say

this was my low point.

Every woman

has moments of craziness,

I suppose. Thank God

no one was home that night

to witness mine.

I was logging on to the site

to write a scathing message

to Mr. Software Developer

when I got my first email

from... the Duke.

I was already over

the whole concept

of meeting someone online,

but for some reason, I decided

to open his message.

"I'm a dominant alpha male

"with two basic kinks.

"First, I'm very

attracted to strong,

"confident, dominant women...

"and I like them to be

sexually submissive to me.

"Second, I like helping

to create monsters...

"powerful, demanding women

who want to rule submissive

"or beta males for sport.

"So if you're a top-shelf alpha

female not afraid of the work needed

"to be a woman like that,

and looking for a mentor

"to support you in pursuing

your alpha dreams, let me know.

If you're bi, that

would be very nice."

Is this guy for real?

Oddly enough, I couldn't get the Duke

and his words out of my head.

After picking up the kids from

Robert's the next day, I went back

and reread his email

a few more times.

He wanted to chat.

The area code matched his profile,

which said he lived in Seattle.

That was a long way away, so even

if he was some sort of freak,

it's not like he could

come here and find me.

So I decided one phone call

couldn't hurt.

Guys, if you wanna go to the pool,

you better go get dressed right now.

Okay, Mom!

Hello.

Hi.

Is this, um... Duke?

The duke.

This must be delaine.

Yeah.

I take it you decided to call

because you're interested

in what I said in my email.

Interested is a strong word.

Curious is more like it.

I don't know that much

about the whole...

dom-sub thing.

Well, what would you like to know?

Oh...

I don't know. Um...

You don't wear a vinyl mask

when you have sex, do you?

No. You're confusing

domination

with sadomasochism.

I'm not into whips and chains

and ball gags.

I'm more into the mental

side of domination.

Oh. That's good. I think.

There are physical elements

like teasing

Or spanking at times.

But before we even went

into the bedroom,

I might grab you by the hair,

look into your eyes and tell you

that you're going to do

everything I wanted.

And you would.

Because you know I'm worthy.

Oh.

So this is more about men

controlling women?

Not at all.

Being submissive

to an alpha male

does not make you

a weakling or a doormat.

Quite the opposite, actually.

Alpha females are capable,

Confident,

and strong-minded.

They want an alpha man

to take control

and challenge them

Because they don't get to

experience that type of pleasure

in a vanilla relationship.

I thought about

what the Duke said.

Had I been in a vanilla

relationship my entire life?

Was it time to try

something new?

So this Duke guy,

he's going to teach you

to be more assertive

by making you submissive?

Yes.

How does that make sense?

Basically, by turning over

control of my sexuality to him,

he's going to show me how to control it.

How to be more empowered.

Not following.

Okay. It's sort of...

It's like this.

Women who are empowered

are in control of their

sexuality as much as men are.

She chooses who she's gonna sleep with,

she dictates how men are gonna treat her,

and she doesn't allow them

to treat her like crap.

With you so far.

Well, I've never been that way.

I've allowed men to

treat me like a doormat.

I've never been in control.

They've always disrespected me.

But with the Duke,

it's different. It's my choice

to engage in this with him.

I have to give consent

to be submissive.

If I choose to submit,

it's up to me.

And I can choose not to submit,

that's up to me as well.

How do you know he's not

just some creep who gets off

on telling women what to do?

Because the stuff he's telling me to do

is not really for him.

It's more for me.

Example?

He wants me to go out with a younger guy.

How young

is this guy supposed to be?

I mean, like that gym rat

you met online?

That's exactly who

I was thinking of.

Payton. He's still

messaging me.

And do what? I mean, do you date him?

Do you sleep with him? What?

Yeah, all of it, I guess. He

just wants me to take control.

How?

I don't know,

Hali!

This is what the Duke

is going to teach me!

Are you doing what I told you to do?

Are you looking at yourself?

Yes.

Yes, what?

Yes, sir.

Describe it to me.

Well, it's two pieces.

It's black and sheer

with white lace

around the edges.

It has a garter, black.

And there's stockings.

I'm not ordering it out

of a catalog, Delaine.

Describe it to me in a way that

makes me want to tear it off you.

Now, delaine.

I don't know what to say.

That is not

an acceptable answer.

I don't want a sub

that can't turn me on.

Come on, describe it.

Um...

Well...

the top...

the top is sexy.

It's black and sheer and

you can almost see through it,

but not quite.

It's feminine...

and a little bit naughty.

Good. Good. What else?

The bottoms match.

They come up just far enough

to hug my hips.

And the white lace

caresses my thighs.

The garter has this...

black bow

on each side.

It holds up my stockings.

Those are soft

and sheer.

And they're tight against

the curves of my legs.

That's very good, Delaine.

Now go to your bedroom window

and open the curtains.

And I'll know

if you don't do it.

Good girl.

Now stand in front of

the window and get undressed.

Do as I say.

Remove your top

in front of the window.

I have neighbors.

So?

So...

I don't want them to think

that... that I'm...

what? Too lazy to close the blinds?

No, slutty.

What does that mean

to you? That word?

It means a woman who has sex

with pretty much

anyone she wants.

And what's wrong with that?

Women aren't supposed

to want multiple partners?

Society says women

should be chaste and pure

to be worthy of love.

Women that love sex,

that are in full control

of their sexuality

are called sluts,

skanks, whores.

But I don't buy that,

and I'm not gonna let you

buy into it either.

A woman's sexuality is her own

and there is no shame

in loving sex.

Now, I want you to say:

'Not all men are worthy

of receiving me.

Those that are must prove it.'

Not all men are worthy

of receiving me.

Those that are

must prove it.

Excellent.

Now do as you're told.

Stand in front of the window

and get undressed.

AH!!!

It's probably Hali.

You think? Okay,

final word of caution, campers:

Watch out for...

Bears.

I want you guys to be very,

very good for Hali, okay?

You need to go to bed exactly when

she says to. Promise? We will.

Okay.

Mom? Yeah?

You're the coolest mom ever. Well, you're

the coolest kids ever! Who loves you?

You.

So much!!!

So much!!

Okay, good night.

I'll see you in the morning.

Hi! Oh my God, this is perfect!

Have fun on your date.

Thank you so much!

The bear! The bear!

The Duke decided

I needed what he called

'Sexuality Boot Camp.'

If I wanted to find

my alpha femaleness,

I needed to get out there and

learn how to keep my men in line.

And what better guinea pig than Mr.

Testosterone himself...

Payton.

Uh... Delaine?

So what's the oldest woman

you've ever been with?

Actually, it was

my last girlfriend.

We were together for about

six months and she was 43.

So what makes us so special?

I don't know, a lot of things.

Like, uh...

you're not gonna call drunk, stranded

at some bar, looking for a ride.

And, uh...

you don't try to play dumb

to get attention.

Okay, at least most of you don't.

How's the sex?

They enjoy it a lot more,

which makes it more

enjoyable for the guy.

I find that older women

tend to be

more in touch

with their bodies.

I don't disagree.

You just better not try to kiss me

tonight without asking my permission.

I might have to slap you.

You can slap me all you want,

because I like when

it gets a little rough.

You have no idea

what rough is, little boy.

I had no clue what

I even meant by that.

But apparently it did the trick.

The Duke wanted Payton

to be my 'service male.'

A plaything I was to use for sex

and nothing else.

But he was charming and funny.

I found I was enjoying myself

more than I anticipated.

That is, until...

an unpleasant surprise

walked in.

Delaine?

Robert.

What would the Duke

say about this?

I'm guessing he'd tell me

to swallow first... come on,

you know what I mean... and then just keep

my mouth shut. I'm Robert. And you are?

Payton. Nice to meet you, man.

Yeah, you too, kiddo.

Can I help you with something?

We're just having dinner.

I'll call you later.

Apparently we have

a lot to discuss.

So who was that guy?

He's kind of a d*ck.

Just my husband.

Husband. I thought

you were divorced.

Yeah, well, we're still

ironing out the paperwork.

I don't want you parading your

boy toys in front of my children.

Is that the example

you want to set for them?

I'm not 'parading' anyone.

Payton will never meet the kids.

What then? You're just

sleeping with him?

I'm not gonna

answer that, Robert.

So I leave and you turn

into some sort of nasty slut?

No. And I left you.

And who I choose to sleep with

has no bearing whatsoever

on my ability to be

a good mother.

Don't think this won't come

out in the custody hearing.

Do you want

full custody of the kids?

Do you? Do you really

want to spend all weekend

shuffling them

between ballet lessons

and soccer games, cooking dinner for

them every night, and getting up

an hour early every morning to make

sure they're ready to go to school?

Look, I know you're upset with me, and I

know you don't really want to see me happy

with someone else, but

we have got to do what's best

for our kids.

I'm proud of you for asserting

your dominant side.

None of it was good.

I felt like I was being

a total bitch to Payton and...

once Robert came out,

I was consumed with guilt.

I just figured he thought

I should be home with the kids

instead of leaving them

with a babysitter.

If you two were still together

and you had to go

to some business dinner for Robert,

you'd get a babysitter, wouldn't you?

Well, yes, of course.

But that's not the same.

You're not very good

at feeling your power yet.

Being powerful and in control

does not make you a bitch.

And getting a babysitter so

that you can go out on a date

and fulfill your sexual

and emotional needs

Does not make you irresponsible.

I know, it's...

stop whining.

Get down on your knees

and bow your head.

Then beg for my forgiveness.

Okay...

Sir, will you please forgive me?

For what?

For what, Delaine?

For giving control

of my emotions to Robert

when you are the only dom

I have chosen to submit to.

Very good.

Now assure me that

it won't happen again.

It won't happen again, sir.

Excellent.

For your next task,

I want you to find a sex club

and I want you to go to it.

See for yourself

what it looks like

when women are comfortable

with their power.

I'll expect a phone call

when you get home.

Good night, Delaine.

Wait! Can I just

ask you one question?

Yes.

What is your name?

Your real name.

Shane.

Shane.

Shane, can I ask you one more thing?

No.

I couldn't disobey Shane,

and I couldn't go

to a sex club alone.

I invited Payton.

And for those of you who have never

been to one, let me just say...

it's probably the craziest

thing I've ever seen.

Is this your first time here?

Yeah.

I'll show you around.

Our DJ plays all night...

Everything here

is consensual, of course.

We have condoms free and

available throughout the club.

And you can have sex

anywhere you want to.

If you have any questions,

just ask me.

Thank you.

I was just a girl

when you came into my world

But I feel more

like a woman now

You've grown up too

That's why I'm telling you

When it comes to loving me

Only you know how

Ooh baby I like it like that

The world is where it's at

Ooh baby I like it like that

You're turning me on

and I can't hold back

I love the way you hold me

I like the way you kiss

A girl like me

can get into this

I love you

in the morning...

Although I'd been having more fun

with Payton than I'd had in years,

I found that on most nights,

my thoughts drifted

to someone else.

Shane.

Why can't I just see a picture?

Just one picture of your face?

Why do you need to see

a picture of me?

To know if you're attracted?

You already are.

Maybe.

And I'm gonna have the

sirloin, please. Medium.

Thanks.

What are you smiling about?

I got you a little something.

Hmm!

Oh!

What's this for?

You don't know?

Come on.

Really?

No!

Today is the three-month

anniversary of our very first date.

It's been three months?

Mm-hmm.

Really?

Wow. Is that gift-worthy?

Doesn't matter.

I think you've earned it.

Payton...

My goodness, these are gorgeous.

They remind me of you.

Dainty, beautiful,

yet strong enough

to slice through glass.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

So, you know what I was thinking?

What?

We should all go up

to the lake this weekend.

Oh, I can't.

I have the kids this weekend.

Robert's out of town on business.

I know. When I said 'all',

I meant the kids.

Oh. Um...

I thought you just

meant your friends.

No, you know, I was thinking I

would throw the Frisbee with Tyler,

and...

okay, I honestly have no idea

what I'd do with your youngest.

I'm sure I can think of

something fun, right?

You don't want me to meet

your kids, do you?

It has nothing to do with you.

Honestly, I think you would make an incredible

role model and my kids would love you.

Is it Robert?

Because if he has any issues with me,

I'm sure him and I could talk it out...

No, it's not that either.

I just don't know exactly

where this is going.

Yet.

Or at all.

I don't understand.

Look, I thought things

were going well with us.

They are.

So what's the problem?

Payton...

You're 24.

Yeah. I've been 24

since you met me.

Right, I know.

Can we just put this

conversation on hold?

My divorce isn't even

finalized until next week.

Yeah, sure.

What's the rush, right?

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I knew I'd hurt Payton.

He saw a future with me

and I'd known from the start

that there wouldn't

be one with him.

This was the first time it hit me

that this newly empowered Delaine

also needed to take

some responsibility.

When I got home, I logged on

to see if there was an email

from the Duke. There was,

and it included something

I wasn't expecting.

That's so cute.

So, has he run out of cigars yet?

I think he's finally done.

Oh, thank God. I don't understand

people celebrating the birth of a baby

by giving other people cancer.

Oh, stop. Eric's a really good guy.

I know. I'm so lucky.

Yes, you really are.

So what's next? Are you going

back on the dating site?

No. Hm-hm.

I think I might go to Seattle.

Seattle?

Why would you want to go to...?

Oh my God.

The Duke!

Tell me that's not

why you're going. Why not?

Because he's a dom!

It's not as creepy

as you're making it sound.

Okay, then why?

Would you actually consider being

in a long-distance relationship?

Maybe.

It's just...

I got him in my head

and I can't get him out.

So I've gotta go

figure this thing out

before I can move on

with anybody else.

Listen to you!

You've come a long way.

What does that mean?

A lot more decisive

than the Delaine

who took her husband back

after he cheated.

Yeah, well...

I let Robert get away

with way too much.

You know, I wonder if I had

stood up for myself more,

if he would've respected me...

our marriage could've

ended up differently.

Yeah. You would've divorced

him in the first year.

I don't know.

Come on, D.

Robert didn't respect you

because Robert isn't

a respectful person.

Even Eric said that

when they first met.

That information would've been

helpful years ago.

You wouldn't have listened.

So when are you going

to Seattle?

Next month.

Robert's gonna take the kids to his

parents' house for Thanksgiving.

I've got a little time.

I know.

The awakening of my sexual self

had stirred other things

awake too.

I loved my children

more than life itself,

and I loved being a mother,

but it was beginning to feel

like it wasn't enough anymore.

I watched as women,

single moms like me,

dropped their children off and then

headed to their jobs as bankers,

doctors and CEOs.

Can I go play for a bit?

Just a second, honey, yeah.

Hello, Graham.

Hi. How are you?

I'm well. How are you?

Not so good, actually.

Yeah, I went from having

a three-week wait list

to just a few

appointments a day.

They opened this new,

state-of-the-art holistic health center

a few blocks from the office, so...

that has a lot to do with it.

Hmm.

How's your daughter?

You had a baby girl, right?

Yeah, she's...

Do you want to sit down?

No, no, it's okay.

She's... she's great.

She's getting bigger.

I see her about once a week.

It's a shame, you know,

they grow up so fast.

You look really good.

Thanks.

Amanda, sweetheart,

it's time to go!

Good girl.

Great seeing ya.

Was there satisfaction

in knowing that Graham's

doing poorly?

You'd think so, but honestly,

No. Not after the initial

shock of seeing him.

I think that's progress for you.

You still want me

to come for Thanksgiving?

Of course. Why would I

change my mind?

'Cause I was thinking,

if I still come,

I could... ask

some business advice.

Since you've bought and sold

and developed so many companies.

Are you buying

a business, Delaine?

No, but I'm thinking

of creating a company.

Online mostly.

What kind?

Before I quit work to have kids,

I was an interior decorator.

So I was thinking

of creating a business

where rich people hire me

to come into their home

and decorate for a holiday

Or a party or whatever,

and then once the event's over,

I would go back in

and take it all away.

Does it sound

like a stupid idea?

No, not at all.

I think you can do anything

you set your mind to.

There's a niche for that.

Because I think I'd be

really good at it.

So do I.

Who do you know in Seattle? You don't

have friends there. He's a new friend.

And the only reason I'm even telling you

this is to let you know I'll be out of town

in case there's an emergency

with the kids.

Fine. Do your thing.

Whatever that is.

I will.

Ladies and gentlemen, we will

be landing in Seattle shortly.

Thanks for flying with us

and have a great day.

Shane had planned on picking

me up from the airport himself,

but he ended up having

to take a meeting.

He texted me about an hour

before I got on the flight

and told me he'd send a car to pick

me up and take me to his lake house.

He gave me the code to get in,

but no apology that

he wasn't picking me up

in person.

Hello?

Delaine. Did you make it in okay?

Yeah. I just got here.

This place is beautiful.

Change of plans.

I was going to take you on

a cruise tonight on my boat,

but my chef can't make it.

We're going out

to dinner instead. I had

my assistant buy you a dress

in case you didn't bring one.

Oh. Okay.

I'm on my way to my meeting now.

Help yourself to anything in the fridge

and I'll see you in a couple hours.

Hi.

Hi.

I'm glad you're here.

Me too.

Come on. Follow me.

This is where you'll stay.

You may come up to the main house

when I instruct you to do so.

Try this on.

Where are you going?

I thought you said you wanted

me to try this on.

Try it on right here.

In front of me.

Don't look at yourself.

Look at me.

It doesn't matter what you think you

look like. It only matters what I think.

Now take off your panties.

You will not wear panties

in my presence.

You'll get these back

when you leave.

Do you understand?

Yes, sir.

Shane didn't ask -or tell-me to do

anything sexual at the restaurant.

It was a normal dinner,

much like a first date.

We talked about a million

different subjects,

including domination

and submission.

So in a dom-sub relationship,

do people ever take turns?

Like, one night they would be

the dominant figure, and the next

night, they would be the sub?

Of course. A person that does

that is called a 'switch.'

Do you ever do that?

No.

I explained that in my profile.

I'm always dominant,

and I like subs

who are alpha females.

Some of mine were very

successful and wealthy,

heads of major corporations,

that type of thing.

Why would a woman like that

ever want to be submissive?

Why does anyone

want to be submissive?

Lots of reasons.

Like what?

It makes them feel empowered

to trust another person

to that degree.

For people in positions

with an inordinate amount

of power and control, feeling quite

helpless and at someone else's whim

can be a nice escape

from having to make

all the decisions.

What about someone

that's always...

dominant?

Does that mean that they're not in

control in their regular lives?

Some might feel that way.

You?

No.

So what is it that

you get out of this?

Some of my reasons are selfish.

I like to know exactly when

I'm gonna be having sex.

And the type of sex

that I can expect,

since all of that is discussed

before she becomes my sub.

I got tired of having my hand

slapped away by women

who were reluctant

to try new things.

Okay.

But it's also something

that I can do

for women, as a feminist.

How can you consider

yourself a feminist

yet want women to be

submissive to you?

Women have the choice

to be whatever they want.

Unfortunately, our society

judges submissive women.

They say 'Poor thing,

look at what our patriarchal

society has done to her, '

or they get criticism from

"feminists" who see them as impeding

on their fight for equality.

They're both wrong.

A true feminist believes

that a woman has a choice

to be whatever she wants

without being judged.

It doesn't matter

if she chooses to be a sub,

or a dom, or a switch,

or if she wants to be in a vanilla

relationship her entire life. It's her choice.

For those who want a dom,

I offer that.

And I never judge them.

I'm better at that, you know.

You're getting better, yes.

What about Robert?

When Robert tried to make you feel

guilty when you came out here,

did it work?

How do you know he tried?

Making you feel guilty and have

you second-guess your decisions

is one of the ways that

a beta man controls a woman.

When you're confident in your own decisions,

nothing he can say will make you feel guilty.

I didn't actually feel bad.

I'm not letting anyone

control me anymore.

There's nothing wrong

with being controlled

as long as it's consensual.

Robert controls you

for his own benefit.

I control you

because you like it.

What would you like me

to do for you, sir?

I'd like you to go sit

in that chair, be quiet,

and I will let you know

when I want you.

Delaine.

Thank me for making you wait.

Thank you for

making me wait, sir.

At first I was angry with

the Duke for rebuffing me.

I felt sort of rejected.

But by the time

an hour had passed,

I was so worked up,

I could barely stand it.

I wanted him more

than I have ever

wanted anyone before.

From this point forward,

until you leave,

you will ask permission

for everything that you do.

Before you eat,

before you sleep,

before you get dressed.

You are my sub,

and as such, you will only do

what I allow you to do.

Do you understand?

Yes, sir.

To ask my permission, you will

bow your head

and say, "With the

Duke's permission."

Any questions?

Yes.

What happens if I disobey you?

Then I will take you

over my knee,

and spank you.

And then...

...with you

wearing this,

I will take

my disobedient pet for a walk

through the neighborhood

so that everyone

can see that you...

were a bad sub.

Are you going to disobey me,

Delaine?

No, sir.

Good.

You may ask for permission

to go into the master bedroom.

With the Duke's permission,

may I go into the master

bedroom, sir?

You may.

The entire trip

wasn't just about sex.

Shane?

Do you have a turkey baster?

Yes.

Where is it?

Probably in the bedroom.

Well, okay, a lot of it was.

Ugh...

But some of it was also just

us talking about relationships

and life and my future.

You also need to file

a Federal Tax ID number.

So how do I know if I should be

a sole proprietorship or an LLC?

Okay, so there are two important

factors in making that decision: First,

how is the business taxed, and what

is your level of personal liability.

But to be honest,

it was mostly about sex.

My long weekend with the Duke

was, on the surface,

about sexual exploration.

But like the water, there was

so much more underneath.

True submission

is a gift.

It can only happen when

a person chooses to submit.

It's never about the dom

taking control.

It's about the sub giving it.

Both parties must get

something out of it.

For 37 years,

I'd let other people,

especially men, control me

for their own benefit.

The Duke taught me how to change that.

That's why I will always be grateful to him.

You ready?

How deep is it out there?

About 40 feet.

So I was thinking,

when I get home,

I'm ready for a relationship.

On my own.

Just the fact that

you said that shows me

that there's no reason for us

to continue to correspond.

You had the experience

you needed.

That's all it was

ever meant to be.

You've changed me.

I'm a different person

than I was before we met.

I know.

We should get going.

You don't wanna

miss your flight.

As I drove home

from the airport,

I felt at peace for the first

time in a long time.

More than anything, I was just

looking forward to seeing my kids.

As December rolled around,

I managed to get my website up for

my holiday decorating business.

To my surprise,

I got several clients

in the first few weeks.

One stuck out in particular.

He was a widower

in his late 60s.

He hadn't decorated for Christmas since

his wife had passed five years earlier,

but since his grandchildren were coming,

he wanted to make it festive for them.

The man told me he'd

never taken much time

with his grandkids and

he wanted to change that.

And so I decided to do something

I never imagined I would do.

I called Robert.

Hello?

Hey, it's me.

The kids are gonna

decorate the tree and...

I thought you might

like to help.

It's not like I never

thought about it.

I know there were times

that I didn't...

I didn't treat you the way

that I should have.

I don't know what I really

could have done differently.

Except for the affair,

of course.

I guess I deserved that, right?

One good turn deserves another?

I don't think we knew how

to deal with our issues.

We both made some

really bad decisions.

Yeah.

I know that the thing

with Natasha

really hurt you.

But I just...

I want you to know

that when I said

it would never happen

again, I meant it.

The night you called me

and I came home...

...the whole drive home

I couldn't stop thinking

about how much

that must've hurt you.

It did.

By the time that I really

started to try,

it was too late for you.

You didn't need the guy

who wanted to make it up to you.

You needed the guy who never

did it in the first place.

I do think our marriage stopped working

way before Natasha and Graham, though.

I want you to be happy.

I know.

Thank you.

I'm trying.

Good.

How did things go

with your parents?

Well, I'm still not that good

with the kids yet.

My mother even noticed that.

Things'll be going great and...

then I'll say something

that upsets one...

As I listened to Robert

talk about how hard it was

to be a parent,

I didn't feel sorry for him.

This was part of his journey

to become a better father.

I'd inhibited his growth in the

same way he had inhibited mine

in becoming a woman who could

stand up for herself.

But I wanted to guide him.

Shane had been my guide.

He helped me reach a place where

I could actually help Robert

become the man I always

wanted him to be.

Not for me.

But for the children.

It was the first time

I felt happy being alone...

Ever. Maybe I wouldn't

find someone.

Who knows? But that

no longer seemed scary.

I knew I could be happy with

or without a relationship.

I didn't need to be someone's

wife or girlfriend.

I could just be...

Delaine.

And things got better.

Robert and I were able

to put the past behind us

and become effective co-parents.

What's this?

It's for you, Mom. From Dad.

Wow!

I helped picked it out.

It's for your new business.

It was my idea.

No, it wasn't, Amanda! Yes, it was!

I can tell you both

collaborated on this.

And it's wonderful.

Are you my new

marketing executive? Yes.

How about you, kiddo?

It was nice to feel supported

in my business endeavor.

But surprisingly,

I didn't need it.

I knew I could make it a success

even with no support at all.

As my little business continued

to pick up, I settled back

into my role as Delaine the mom. Between

the two, I didn't have much time to date.

But I didn't feel like

I was missing out either.

Let me give you a hand with that.

Oh!

Thanks.

Sure. How many do you need?

All of them.

All of them?

What, one for every outfit?

No, it's my daughter's birthday.

I told her she could

invite all the girls

from her class at school.

I don't know exactly

what I was thinking.

It's that age-old question:

Where are...

The keys.

Where are the keys.

Right at the bottom.

Always. I can never find my keys.

I would love to know

how the party goes.

Oh, really?

Hey, I'm invested now.

Without me, they'd

just be a bunch

of sad, tiara-less princesses.

I'm Aiden, by the way.

Uh, my cell's on there.

Delaine.

Hi, Delaine.

Thanks for your help.

And for being so... tall.

Sure. I guess I will

talk to you later.

Let it go

Don't hide away

Follow the muse...

I invited Robert to bring his new

girlfriend to Amanda's birthday party.

He'd asked my advice on how

he could introduce them,

and I figured the party atmosphere

would make everyone feel more at ease.

So, I don't know if you heard,

but you have to have

one of these before you can

pass the evil dragon.

Thank you.

You have to kiss it

or you're not a real princess.

Ha, ha, ha!

Speaking of evil dragons.

My brother used to do

the same thing to me.

Can you believe how young

they start flirting?

Look at you!

There's my girl.

Mommy, I'm tired.

Oh, are you?

You ready to go with Daddy

and Pam to Daddy's house?

Hey, did you have

a good birthday?

That was the best birthday ever!

It was?

Well, that makes Mommy happy!

Why don't you take Pam

and go find Tyler?

Thank you.

Thank you. It was

nice to see you.

Nice to meet you.

We can take care

of all this junk later.

Why don't you just take the

kids and get going? Okay.

Thank you.

For making this easier

for Pam. And for me.

Yeah, of course.

I knew in that moment,

I'd finally become

the person I wanted to be.

I had taken control

of my life in every aspect.

The truth is, I liked Pam

and I actually wanted

Robert to be happy.

I was glad he found someone.

And I'm glad that he's

with Pam instead of me.

Hey, Aiden.

Hi.

Perfect timing. Everyone just left.

So how did the party go?

Oh, it was absolutely perfect.

And did you have any princess

gear left over?

No, I don't have

any tiaras left.

It might seem like this is the

end of my story, but it's not.

It's just the beginning.

Follow the muse