01x08 - Get Ship Faced

[bunniefuu]

Whoa. This is wild.

No, this is "Wipeout."
Oh.

Aah!
Aah!

The big balls are back,
America.

I’m Nicole Byer.
And I’m John Cena.

We’ll be your guides,
as we reintroduce you

to the most insane
competition show known to man.

She got hit hard... but
that’s the game of "Wipeout."

Banzai.

Each week, teams of two
will compete for their share

of the $25,000 grand prize.

The courses are crazier.

Aah!

Yes!

The contestants are bendier.

That one’s got to hurt.

And the hosts are sexier.

This body doesn’t
happen overnight.

It also doesn’t happen
by taking shirtless selfies

in the gym mirror
for 45 minutes.

Welcome back, America,
to "Wipeout."

Hello, America, and welcome
to another wonderful,

whimsical, wacky, wild,
wet episode of "Wipeout."

I’m John Cena.

And I’m Nicole Byer.

John, I saw you
working the pole

in that movie last night.
Great work.

What are you talking about?

"Magic Mike."

I saw it. You k*lled it.

Wasn’t me, Nicole.
That was Channing Tatum.

Are you sure?

Not 100 percent.

But I do know one thing,
we’ve got a slew of new teams

getting ready to get them ones,
25,000 of them to be exact.

But first,
they must face the qualifier.

You were definitely
in "Magic Mike."

I was not.

Ten teams face
the qualifier today,

a five-part obstacle course
behemoth.

First, the players set sail

over muddy waters
via the Spanker Planks.

Then runners bounce over
spring-loaded Tosser Tumblers,

or risk dropping anchor
into the muck.

Next up, a "Wipeout" classic
the Big Balls.

Make it across and grab
Smallsy for a $250 bonus.

After that,
it’s the Body Blender.

Jump the hurdles, or
get cut down in the process.

Finally, the players end
with the swinging

and swaying Jiggalator,

before final leap
to the finish platform.

The six fastest teams to
finish the qualifier

make it through
to the next round.

Let’s check in with
our eyes and ears,

right in the heart
of the action.

Camille Kostek,
how’s it going down there?

Thanks, guys. I’m down here
with Luke and Carly

bringing the energy today.
Oh, yeah.

So how do you guys
know each other?

So, we met playing parkour.
Do you know what parkour is?

I’ve heard of it, but I don’t
know it like a pro, like you.

The base definition is to get
from one place to the other

in the fastest time possible.

All right. I have to see
some of these moves.

You’re going to twist
to get that momentum.

Bend down. Kick up.
Swap your leg.

Spin. Down. Hiyah.
I like the execution, too.

That was great.
Was that parkour?

Oh, that’s parkour.
You got it.

Yeah. I can do parkour, baby.

You know, parkour’s actually
derived from the French phrase

"parcours de combattant,"

which means
obstacle course.

Interesting. What else
did a Google search you did

15 seconds ago
tell you about parkour?

That’s about as far
as I got.

Oh!
Oh!

Which is further than Carly
got on the Spanker Planks.

Maybe Luke’s more into
parkour than she is.

Surely looks that way,
as he clears the planks.

But, gets his Tumbler tossed.

It’s a lot less impressive
when they aren’t allowed

to edit their own videos.

Big Balls.

Parkour Luke skywalking
across the Big Balls.

Ooh-whee.

That looked like it
hurt a lot.

John, is there this much
falling in parkour?

I feel like there shouldn’t
be this much falling.

Well, a lot of parkour
is what those

in the free-running
community call,

"falling with style,"

which Luke does here
on the Body Blender.

Stay on it.
Oh, wow.

He has the moves.

You ain’t going to
take me down.

Oh, sh**t.

And that’s what we in the
comedy community call "irony."

Yeah, he ate his words there.
I see Camille.

I love you.
Oh.

Shamelessly flirting
with one of the hosts

while your teammate
gets pounded by an obstacle

is not a good look, Luke.

Hardcore Parkour use
their street skills to finish

at a pretty impressive
6 minutes and 25 seconds.

Hardcore Parkour. Hardcore.
Who’s next?

Cheers.

This is Leslie and John.
Their perfect day

consists of beachin’,
boozin’, and bangin’,

They do seem
to enjoy day drinking.

Right. The drink.
Yes, they love that, too.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Wipeout, Wipeout,
Wipeout. Wipeout.

I’m Leslie.
And I’m John.

Gnarly.
Totally.

John and I met at the beach.

We’ve been dating
about 16 years.

Have a quarter-dozen kids.

That’s three.

We are experts at drunk yoga.

I thought why don’t we
just do some moves

while we’re out in the water,

and see how far
we could push ourselves.

Drunk.

I prepared for "Wipeout"
by doing absolutely nothing.

Beach John across
the Spanker Planks.

Ooh-hoo.

Luckily, nothing cures
a hangover

like a dunk in a mud pit.

Leslie must have her
beer goggles on,

because he is drenched.

The Tosser Tumbler
just bounced John

right out
of this establishment.

But that hair flip
was pretty sexy.

Let’s play that back
and slow it down.

Oh, yeah.

John looks like the kind
of dad that enjoys yacht rock.

Hit it, guys.

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Oh my God.

You k*lled Kenny...
Loggins.

What the hell is that?

Let’s just move on

and never speak of this again.

I love you, bro.

I love you, bro.
I love you, bro.

I love you more, bro.
Whoa.

I haven’t heard
this many "bros"

since an Internet rumor
popped up

claiming that Axe body spray
was being discontinued.

Fortunately,
that rumor was false.

I’m Chris.
I’m Trevor.

Heck, yeah.

Trevor and I met in junior
high, when we were little kids.

Our poor wives think
we are married to each other.

Which, we kind of are.
We are.

Apparently
these childhood friends

would use the prize money

to go on
a cross-country road trip

to all the national parks.

Your my best friend.
I love you.

Love you.

Brokeback Trevor
is approaching

the first national treasure,
the Big Balls.

Go! Go Trevor!

I love you.

You’re my best friend.
I love you. Love you.

Apparently Trevor can
quit him.

All right. That’s fine.

Trevor might not be
showing the love,

but he’s clearly boosted
by Chris’ words--

You got this, best friend.

And he’s bringing that
energy to the Body Blender.

Oh!
Oh!

I love you.

Camper Chris has made it

to the great
Jiggalator Canyon.

Those peaks and valleys
can be hard to navigate

and the Goo Geysers
are impossible to avoid.

Stand up.
Oh.

Oh, my God.

But even if you do end up

covered in slime,

you can still bathe
with your bro

in the tranquil waters
of Lake Wipeout.

Just like me and Rupert the
camera guy do every morning.

We don’t have a camera guy
named Rupert.

Oh.

Ohh!

How much do you
love this guy?

He’s my best friend.
He’s my ride or die.

Come on over!

As soon as you hit
this platform that’s time.

That sucked.

There it is. Yes!

Aw...

I’d say their chances
of continuing their road trip

in the Gauntlet
are pretty good.

Oh, wow.
Did you see that power?

That’s not fair.

Camille gets to play with water
g*ns and I’m stuck in here.

You’re not stuck in here,
John. We’re bonding.

Am I going to have to worry
about you leaving me

for every hot blond
with a water g*n?

Probably.

-
No, no, no.

Hey, hey. You don’t have
to worry about it.

You don’t have
to worry about it.

We have more qualifier
on the way,

and much more of John
apologizing to me

for being a predictable man.

I said I was sorry.

You good? You good?

No.

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For the millionth time,
I’m not a stripper.

That song, the pony song.
That was you.

That was--
You took off your shirt

and you’re like "John Cena!".

Welcome back to "Wipeout,"

where $25,000 is waiting
to be claimed

by one of these teams

if they can make it
to the Wipeout Zone, and win.

That’s right, John.

The grand prize is ready
for the taking,

like a pot of gold
at the end of the rainbow.

That’s why it’s heavily guarded

by a feisty leprechaun
named Michael.

You know I’m terrified
of Leprechauns.

Are you?

Because there’s one
right behind you.

Aah!

Low blow, Byer.

low blow.
Sorry.

Over at the Tosser Tumbler,

we join couple
Nicole and Dave.

Go fast. Go fast.

Another Nicole with a man?

Ow!
Oh, what am I doing wrong?

Nice. Nice.

Aw. Will it make you
feel better

if we knock her
into the mud?

Yeah.

You’re a good friend.

I’m Nicole.
And I’m David.

I work as
a wedding videographer

which has its fair share
of challenges.

I work for
the US Forest Service.

My job as a firefighter
has really prepared me

for "Wipeout."
We work out every day, rappel,

zipline...

basically "Wipeout"
in the trees.

Come on, David.

2 minutes and 19 seconds
on the clock.

The Hot sh*ts
are making great time

as firefighter David
approaches the Big Balls.

Oh, no. That hot fireman is
going to wake up Baby Smallsy.

Don’t do it. Don’t do it.
Don’t do it.

No!

Okay.
Maybe I woke up Baby Smallsy.

It’s okay. Mama’s here.

It’s not taking its binky.

Nicole, where’d you even
get that thing?

John, are you telling me

your parents
never gave you "the talk."

Uh, of course they did.

So then you know how
Baby Smallsys are made.

I’m guessing
the art department.

Oh, boy.
Lend me your ear, John.

Mama Nicole
is about to blow your mind.

You see, John, when a mommy
ora daddy contestant

wipes out on a big ball
just right,

the stars align
and a Baby Smallsy is born.

Or sometimes it’s just
one Smallsy,

or sometimes it’s twins,

and if a big ball in the sky
is really smiling down on us,

we might even get
three red bundles of joy.

Each one is a unique gift
sent from above.

But also, a reminder.

God, you should always
use protection

when taking on the Big Balls.

What are we going to do
with these things?

I don’t know.
Leave them

in Camille’s dressing room
and let her deal with them?

While we do that, let’s head
back down to the course.

Defying the laws of physics.

Next, we have Memphis
and Liz.

They love engineering
and each other.

Brains over brawn.

Hi. I’m Liz.
I’m Memphis.

Being an engineer on
"Wipeout"

is going to help me because
I have an analytical mind.

I’m thinking five,
six moves ahead,

so we are always prepared.

We are self proclaimed nerds.
So what?

Nerds make a lot of money.

Oh!

Okay. Let me see
if I can remember

some high school physics.

Nope.

Come on, Memphis.
Memphis slipping

and sliming
through the Jiggalator.

The zombie’s going to get
you--you need to race!

Oh.
The Jiggalator

better be careful
before the Friend-gineers

start working on a prototype
to replace him.

I, too, was a nerd once

and next thing I knew,
all my passwords were changed.

Will a time of 7 minutes
and 14 seconds

provide enough force for more
than Friend-gineers

to launch into the Gauntlet?

We’re going to make you wait
to find out.

It’s a little TV trick
to create suspense.

Ready? Let’s go. Come on.
Keep it up, guys. Let’s go.

I want to quit.
Come on, come on, come on.

Up next are the coaches,
Benjamin and Julie.

Coach Benjamin
carefully strategizes

how to get past
the Body Blender.

Let’s see if his
game plan works.

Come on!

Oh. Let’s take that back.

What happened is
Coach Benjamin

wanted to do a leap
and a somersault

over the blender to safety,

but the blender
came in too quick,

so Benjamin did a unathletic
flop and a blam,

into the water he goes.

Can you believe old
football coaches and players

get paid to spout
made up nonsense like this?

So do wrestlers
and comedians.

Yeah. But, John,
I’m funny.

All right, everybody.
Get your head in the game.

I need you to believe.

If you don’t believe
in yourself, then who will?

All right.
Everybody, hands in on three.

One, two, three, Wipeout!

Thank you for that,
Camille. Maybe you were

on the wrong side of the field
all those years.

Well, hopefully Coach Julie
doesn’t end up

on the wrong side
of the Jiggalator.

Come on, Coach Julie.
Watch out for the door.

Oh.
Well, what can I say?

We came out to play.

The Jiggalator
came out to play.

We had a hard battle.
It is what it is.

Thank you very much.

Two feet up.
Time is locked in.

The Coaches clocked
the fastest time of the day

with 6 minutes and 3 seconds,

and scored them a place
in the Gauntlet along with...

Best buds of
Broback Mountain

and Hardcore Parkour homies.

We also have the daring,
dating Hot sh*ts,

along with the smarty lovers,

More Than Friend-gineers.

And, don’t think we forgot
about our drunk yogis,

Beach, Please.

All you beaches out there,
get ready for the Gauntlet

because this first heat
is coming in hot.

No!

There’s nothing wrong
with stripping.

I’ve taken my clothes off.
I haven’t got paid for it.

You should get paid.

Welcome back, America.
Are you ready for the Gauntlet?

Yes!

No offense, Nicole.

I wasn’t asking you.
I was asking America.

Oh. So now what?

We wait for an answer.

The Gauntlet will be done
in two heats.

Each heat with three teams
competing at the same time

will be practically
climbing over one another

starting at the Carous-Hell.

Then it’s a foot race
through the disgusting

mud pits and slippery slopes
of the Messy Mile.

And finally, the Pummel Pool

where the choice between
the revolving french fries

and the giant spinning
lollipop

could make or break it all.

The first team to have
both members

cross the finish line moves
on to the Wipeout Zone.

I’m itching to
flex my heckling skills.

Who do we got?

The teams competing
in the first heat

are besties
of Broback Mountain.

Danger loving darlings,
the Hot sh*ts.

And, bodacious paramours,
Beach, Please.

I feel like we’re going
to space right now.

Like, we’re on the deck.

This is as close to being
astronauts as we’ll get.

It is.

In space, no one can
hear you scream.

At "Wipeout," screams
are basically all we can hear.

Three, two, one.

It’s always fun to see
who has the guts to go first.

David, the hunky hero,

is the first
to make the 18 foot drop.

But he’s the first
to make it

safely to the next part
of the Carous-Hell.

Because if you can’t
take the heat,

send David into your kitchen.

Beach, Please John
falls into the john

because I’m sure people
pee in there.

Probably.

Broback Trevor also makes it
into the first landing.

Come on, Chris.
You got this, bud.

You got this, Chris.

Oh, my God.

Chris is about to go
from a hot bromance

to the bro friend zone
if he keeps this up.

David has continued to
continue through Carous-Hell

and take a ring
around the Sweeper Bar,

and sticks the landing.

And photographer Nicole
does...

Not get the sh*t.

However, Broback Trevor is
about to hit it from the back.

Here’s Beach, Please

showing us some of their
patented drunk yoga moves.

This one is called
downward smashing crotch.

This is why you’ll never
catch me doing aerial yoga.

And, this one’s
called unhappy baby.

And Beach, Please
takes the lead.

Chris from Team
Broback Mountain

has made it halfway
through hell,

and his friend until the end
is waiting at the end.

Hang on, just hang on.
Hang on.

I love male friendship.
There we go.

Their brotherhood makes me
think of my brother.

I wonder if he ever got
out of that cult.

Beach, Please says "namaste"
to the Messy Mile.

God, I hope they’re sober.

The bros are not that far
from Leslie and John.

Chris and Trevor have
a chance to take the lead.

Hot sh*t Nicole
seems to have cold feet.

Don’t talk to me
about cold feet.

I’ve left seven different men
at the altar.

Nice. You got it, baby.

Hot sh*t David was in the
lead and now they’re in last.

Hoping to get back
in the heat of the heat.

Hold on tight.
Come on, Nicole.

The Sweeper Bars are like
the weddings you sh**t--

50 percent end up
in a brutal separation,

but as long as you
make it through,

you still have a chance
of getting paid.

Remember,
Nicoles never give up!

Unless it’s lunchtime.
That’s your time for you.

Beach, Please maintains
a pint-sized lead

as they overtake
Mount Wipeout,

but Broback Mountain
is right on their trail.

You got it.
This is your time.

Chris and Trevor’s
scaling Mount Wipeout.

This is probably not their
first time scaling a mountain.

Just watch out
for Randy Quaid.

You mean his character
in the movie?

No. I mean Randy Quaid
in general.

That dude is insane.

John dives right
into the next destination.

That’s--
hey, good, good, good.

Leslie takes a moment
to meditate on the pink ball.

Slide, like,
don’t try to stop.

Slide. Okay. Go, go, go.

And it’s going to go forward,
get ready.

John and Leslie, just a few
more leaps from victory.

All right.
Where do you want to go?

That looks nuts.

And now they’re faced with
two obstacle options,

they can go
for savory or sweet.

The lollipop or the fries.

Depending on what
they choose,

it could be the determining
factor on if they win or lose.

John clings to the lollipop
like it’s his toilet

after an all-night rager
in Myrtle Beach.

There we go. There we go.

While John is landing
on the Lollipop,

Trevor of Broback Mountain
has come up from behind.

Trevor, remember
what we talked about?

Racing through the fries...
Yeah!

And straight
to the end zone.

There it is. There it is.

Whoo! Welcome!

Cameron number one
on the Campground.

We’re just waiting
for the other camper.

Team Broback Mountain has
the Wipeout Zone

in its sights.
If he makes this jump,

he has a good chance
of leaving Beach, Please

in the dust.

Just when you think beach
bums are done for the day,

they light up a bonfire
and break open container laws.

So, you never know
where this is going.

Come on, Chris.
Hang on.

Bye.
Goodbye.

Bye.
Goodbye.

Where’s that
hot firefighter at?

Gonna swing.
Ooh, there he is...

I’m sorry.

Clinging to his partner
like a koala.

Are you good?
No.

Geez, you two, get a room
and let me know where it is.

Okay. Back to the teams
that have a chance at winning.

John is still trying
to get off the lollipop,

and he managed to stick it.

Whoa, buddy.
Let’s go, Leslie.

Wow. There it is.

Wow.
You made it past the Gauntlet.

Now we’re just both waiting
for your team members.

It’s anybody’s game.

25,000 is on the line.

Chris.
Who will it be?

Papa needs that money buddy.
I need that money.

I know.
Oh, wow.

Things just got real
for Team Broback Mountain.

If they don’t win I think

you should give them
the money, John.

Me? Why don’t you?
John, the bros

are my friends,
and friendship and money,

they don’t mix.

Our weddings were expensive.

Count to three
and do it on three.

One, two, three.

Oh, he’s on!

Let’s see how it’s looking
for Leslie on the lollipop.

Yes, yes, yes.
There it is.

And she makes the leap.
There it is.

Will she reunite
with her beach babe

and win the Gauntlet?

Break out the PBR,
because she does.

Yes. There it is, Leslie.
Congratulations.

You guys are going
to the Wipeout Zone.

Wait. Go back.
Changed y mind!

Congrats. How you feeling
right now, Leslie?

Do you want a drink now?

I do, not in that water
and not this slime though.

Congratulations.
Thank you.

Truly one step closer
to that $25,000.

I’ll see you in
the Wipeout Zone.

Whoo!

A power yogi move
at the finish line claims

a spot in the Wipeout Zone
for Beach, Please.

Who will be their rival
for the $25,000 prize?

Three teams will battle
it out in the next

b*at the Gauntlet
to claim the honor.

One small leap for man--

Then the Wipeout Zone
makes a splash.

Hang on. Yeah! Yeah!

Okay, body,
time for you to bend.

Did I just hear
your knees cr*ck?

You heard everything cr*ck.
Dang!

Welcome back, America.

We’re about to begin
Heat two of the Gauntlet.

Yes, we are.
And that first heat,

that was pretty hot,
wasn’t it, Nicole?

It didn’t do it for me.

I can’t just jump into
a heat cold.

I need that first heat
to warm me up,

get the juices flowing,

then raise
that heat a little bit.

Whoo! A little bit more,
a little bit more

until I’m raring to go
for that second heat.

We have three teams left
to give the Gauntlet a go,

then off to the dreaded
Wipeout Zone.

Let’s see who’s up.

Oh, lord. I need to lay down.

Teams competing
in the second heat

are the Caring Coaches.

Hardcore Parkour and More
Than Friend-gineers.

Anybody else got to pee
again?

How did you know?
It’s nerves. It’s nerves.

Not me. My pee is confident
and ready for anything.

Three, two, one.

Oh, that’s so far.
All right. Who’s first?

Oh, lord.

Memphis makes
the first move

and uses his
natural-born ingenuity

to get to the next obstacle.

First time a nerd’s
made a first move, like ever.

But it pays off for him.

Luke uses the powers

of parkour
to follow Memphis’ lead.

These guys are
making it look easy.

They even tricked their
partners into thinking so.

And there goes Memphis,

reaching
a platform dry as a bone.

Are you ready?
I’m going to go.

Oh, my God. Help.

Not the most inspiring
halftime pep talk.

Hello, Mr. Barth. Oh, God.

Well, politeness
didn’t get him anywhere.

It got him
over the Sweeper Bar.

Oh, my lord.
Even he seems to surprised.

Yeah. So am I.
Hey, Liz, you’re landing legs

and that’s why you’re kind of
spinning because momentum.

Hey, Memphis, we get it.

You’re smart,
just like I’m funny.

But you don’t see me
telling me jokes all day

trying to convince people
that I’m funny.

That’s literally your job
here.

How dare you? What?
I’m just a clown to you?

You’re going to drop,
now.

I can coach just as well
as Ben.

It looks easy.

Yes. Okay. Just hold on.
Jump! Jump!

You’re amazing. Great job,
Julie. That’s fantastic.

When she’s not looking,
swim away.

Great job. Great job.

I kind of did it.
I don’t have the heart

to tell her she’s
not even halfway through.

This sucks.

help you.
Just land it. Just land it.

He makes it
on the first go round.

I mean, honestly,
this is the most efficient

Gauntlet I’ve seen in a while.

Let’s not jinx it.
Watch out!

Whoa.
Amazing. Great job.

With The Coaches
taking the lead

who will get off
the Carous-Hell next

and join them?

Push forward. You’ve got it.

Nice, Carly. Nice.

She sticks!
Yes, Carly.

Okay.
This is easy. Chump change.

Easy?
I wouldn’t say it’s easy.

Yeah. Easy is being the
better looking member

of a hosting duo.
Come on, Carly.

Carly, you got--

Oh--
Ooh...

Coach Benjamin and Coach
Julie are in the lead,

and they are now
approaching Mount Wipeout.

Okay--

Jump.
No timeout necessary.

The Coaches are k*lling it.

Meanwhile the
Friend-gineers are...

formulating a flop.

Oh, man.
Back at the Pommel Pool,

Julie goes for the pink ball,
and she lands.

Well, these balls are not
as hot and smelly

as the ones
she’s probably used to.

Nicole!
Because she’s a coach, John.

Get your mind out the gutter.

I did the ball!
I did it!

And Coach Ben executes
the play perfectly,

conquering the pink ball
and the Tippy Table.

The Coaches are in the lead.

100 percent think
we don’t do that.

There’s no way on Earth
I’m trying that.

Okay. Okay.
And look,

our parkour team has
advanced to the Messy Mile.

They still have a chance
to catch our coaches.

One small leap for man--

Seems like parkour on the
moon is not as impressive.

Coach Ben relies
on his chiseled muscles

honed from years of coaching
to hold him on

to the looping lollipop.

Bet they didn’t teach this
at coaching college.

Within seconds, he’s headed
toward the second

and final pink ball.

Three, two, one.

Halt. Halt.

I mean the strategy,
the counting skills,

the teamwork. It’s like
they’re coaches or something.

Oh, yeah.

Come on, girl.

I need you
to just take a leap for me.

And that was just
to the outside,

tried the corner
and missed it.

I promise we’re coming,
at some point.

Hi, Ben.
I trust you, Coach.

The Coaches better hurry up
because Professor Parkour Luke

and his slimy student, Carly,
are scaling Mount Wipeout.

Carly, you got it.
Try not to--

The Coaches are only
a hop and a skip away

from the end zone.

This is it, you guys.

Just need Ben to jump.
Yes, he’s got it.

There it is.

I can’t do this.
Yes, you can.

Julie, you actually
have to do it.

You can’t stay on top
of that pink ball forever.

I got places to be.

Yes.
They did it!

Yes.

You guys are going
to the Wipeout Zone.

Let’s go.
You did it. You did it.

The Coaches Benjamin and
Julie coached themselves

into the championship game,

also known as the Wipeout Zone
along with Beach, Please

Leslie and John,

to compete for the $25,000
grand prize.

Let’s get down to the
Wipeout Zone, John,

and I don’t want
that big headed Smallsy

taking the best seat.
Ooh!

That was a premature wipeout.

Premature wipeouts
happen to us all.

Welcome back to "Wipeout."

We’re in the Wipeout Zone
with one lucky team

who’s about to win
a lot of money.

Man, I can’t believe

it’s already time
for the Wipeout Zone.

I know. I’m already nostalgic
for the qualifier. Oh, boy.

John, where has the time gone?
Boy.

Well, that’s what I love
about "Wipeout," Nicole.

I keep getting older and Nicole
stays the same age.

Matthew McConaughey,
"Dazed and Confused."

I don’t get that reference.

I’m very young and you
said it kind of Southern.

I’ll do it too.
We’re down to

our final two teams ready
to compete

for $25,000
in the Wipeout Zone.

All right.
I’m dazed and confused.

All right. All right.

We’ve made it
to the top of the mountain,

the Wipeout Zone.

This colossal course
is made up of

four stages done relay style

with each contestant
attempting two obstacles.

The first team member
will get sh*t out

from our speeding
Silver b*llet

into freezing cold
waters below.

From there, they’ll swim
to the giant spinning Vertigo

where they’ll attempt to
maneuver from peg to peg

without losing their grip
or their lunch.

They’ll need to press
the button in the middle

to lower the bridge
before they can get to safety.

That’s when they’ll tag
their partner

to take on the Leap of Faith,

where they’ll have to launch
themselves onto

one of the spinning arms,
maintain their balance,

and jump to the narrow
platform on the other side.

It’s tough, but if they
successfully make it across,

they’ll arrive
at the final challenge.

The Triple thr*at.
If the contestant

can somehow make it
from one spinning hexagon

to the next and safely leap
to the final platform

faster than their competition,
they’ll take home $25,000.

Going head to head are Leslie
and John of Beach, Please

and Julie and Benjamin
of The Coaches.

Our drunk yogis
in Beach, Please

will take on the dreaded
Wipeout Zone first.

Leslie is up first
in the Silver b*llet.

Beach, Please just barely
squeaked by in the qualifier.

Here we go.

But they took charge
in the Gauntlet.

Coming in ahead
of Broback Mountain

to secure a spot here
in the Wipeout Zone.

Three, two, one.

There is the launch.

Leslie makes a big splash.

Leslie looked like
a flying squirrel.

You know,
this is an underdog team.

Yes.
They came in sixth

in the qualifier--
they barely made it.

You know what that means?
By the skin of their teeth.

Hold on,
this might be a long ride.

Oh, boy.
Leslie now climbing

up to the Vertigo.

Okay. It is far away.

Leslie trying to reach out
and grab Vertigo.

She attaches to it
for 2 seconds.

I don’t even know
if it was 2 seconds.

I can’t tell you
how many times in my life

I’ve said that.
Oh, no.

You know that Leslie has to
mount the obstacle,

make it to the middle...
Yes.

Hit the button
which will release

the gate on the other side

where she can safely
make it to that gate

where partner John can finish
the rest of the course.

Okay.
All right, all right.

She’s in the middle.

Got it!
She’s hit the button.

Yeah.
The gate is down.

All she has to do
is make it to the outside.

Ooh, baby, ooh, baby!

And now the confusion
begins.

I kind of like that
they’re trying to, you know--

That’s good. That’s good.
Get ready.

Make your way to the blue.

Teamwork it together even
though it’s very individual.

Get to the blue.
Okay.

Oh, no. She’s not going
to do it this time.

No. Oh, Leslie.
This could be bad.

Oh, Leslie.
This could be bad.

Oh, Leees... lie.

That’s all right.
That’s all right.

Leslie looks exhausted.
It may have been that

face plant she received
from the Silver b*llet.

Yeah.
I think that’s what it is.

Nicole, my kids love you.

That’s nice!
You’re pretty cool too, John.

It sounds like those kids
are going to be raised

by the water and Nicole Byer.

I’ve always wanted
white children.

Now back to the course.
Yes.

Here we go.
Start getting to your feet.

Start getting to your feet.

Leslie has failed.
Yes.

But she perseveres.
Hurry, we’re going on

this one right here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Can you do it? Go for it. Go.

Oh,!

That’s a bad one.

Three and a half stories to
the cold Lake Wipeout below.

That wipeout made me pee
my pants a little bit.

It did? John, you got to keep
that pee right up in you.

Suck it back up.

Wait. Is it the next one?
Sure. Screw it.

This is Leslie’s
60th attempt.

I like the fact
that she’s not giving up.

Am I on the wrong one?
That’s okay. Just go for it.

Go for it.
Go for it. Go for it.

Yes, Leslie.
Leslie is going to try.

She hung on! Yes!

Yes! Yes, Leslie. Yes.

Great job, Leslie.
Yes.

And, John is tagged in
to make his own Leap of Faith.

She is exhausted.

All right. All right.
Let’s see John do this.

Another part of
the underdog story,

John makes the Leap of Faith
and hangs on.

Yes, John.
He’s got to go around.

I hope he knows to keep
himself low to the ground.

All right. He’s up...
Okay.

And he’s going to make
the jump again.

All he’s got to do is hang on,
and he does!

Good job, John.
Yes. Yes, John.

Triple thr*at left
to the finish line.

Oh, boy.
He’s on the obstacle.

First of three threats.
Okay.

He had an enormous leap.
He’s on the middle thr*at.

Okay.
There’s the third thr*at.

John making great time.
Can he maintain his balance?

Hang on. Hang on. Yeah. Yeah.

Use those yoga skills.

Do that one more time.

I think I’m wasting time.

And down he goes.

Okay, babe.

You’re good at balance.
Come on.

John, you got this.
All right, John.

You got this.
You know what it takes now

and you got this.
Oh, there we go.

You got this, babe.
I love you so much.

Yeah, baby.

He’s on the middle thr*at.
Okay. Yup.

Now, he’s a little
more serious. Another jump.

Okay.

There he is.
Yes. Yes. Yes.

He’s navigating. He’s plotting.
He’s discovering.

Just a lot of words
happening in the brain.

I think the attempt
is coming up.

Yes.

He mounts...
Yes. Yes. Yes.

And the leap.
Yes. Yes!

And he makes it!
Yes! Yes!

Great job, John. Great job.
Yeah, baby.

Negotiates the Triple thr*at

and makes it
to the finish platform.

Yeah.
Great job, man.

Great job.
You know, we doubted them.

I doubted them.
I didn’t.

And they did it.
I didn’t.

Drunk yoga for everyone.

Never doubted them.

Thank you.

Beach, Please comes in
with a time of 13 minutes

and 21 seconds.

Will these underdogs take it
all the way or will

The Coaches b*at their time
in the final inning?

Find out after this.

And we’re back,
Johnny C and Nicole B.

Eew.
What? You don’t like it?

No. No. Strong pass
on that one, Johnny C.

I just ordered
so many t-shirts.

Well, trash them.

Let’s get back
to the Wipeout Zone.

And 13 minutes,
21 seconds is the time

to b*at set by Beach, Please.

But, The Coaches are hoping
they’ve drawn up

the perfect plan of att*ck
to bring home the dough.

Benjamin is a football coach,
and right now he’s about to be

a Hail Mary
as the Silver b*llet

is known to travel
at 0.8 mach speed.

Oh.
Oh, boy. Here we go.

Three, two, one.

Benjamin launched
on the Silver b*llet.

You know what they say?

It’s all about
the Benjamins, baby.

Do they say that?
They do.

That’s catchy.
That should be a song.

Strong strides.

Benjamin’s a football coach,

a decorated college
intramural athlete.

Does that mean they draw
murals in the inner city?

Hey, I need you to go
on the blue, okay? Focus.

How on Earth
am I supposed to do this?

So Benjamin now has
to negotiate Vertigo,

which means
mounting the obstacle,

making it to the middle,
hitting the button

that brings down the gate
on the other side,

and if he can land safely
on the platform,

his teammate continues
the obstacle course.

Okay.
Benjamin’s mounted Vertigo.

Yeah.
In a very precarious

position.
And... uh-oh.

Try not to fall.

Smooth.
He’s finding his way around.

Oh, no.
You got it, Ben.

Come on.

He needs to get
towards the middle.

Yes.

I think he’s formulating
a strategy,

and made it to the bottom.

Dang. If he had, you know,
waved a hand

and pressed that button--
you know?

He might have hit the middle
on the way down.

He hit everything
on the way down.

Yes, truly.

Woulda scored a lot
of points in pinball.

That was wild. I enjoyed it.
Benjamin sets again.

All right.
Good job, Ben.

He inches closer
to the middle.

I think if he can hold on
and not fall in Lake Wipeout

as it rotates....
Oh, my God.

Well, this is
the hardest course. Yes?

This Wipeout Zone
is the most difficult in

the history of all "Wipeout."
Okay.

Benjamin made it
to the middle.

You’ve got it, babe.
He just hit the button.

The gate is down.

Now, if he can go
the right way to the end

and then make a giant
jump on that platform...

Yes.
Not into the water,

it looks like he’s
getting ready to make a leap.

Okay. Yes, baby.

He made it?
Yeah!

And he hung on!
We got this. Let’s go.

Benjamin’s up. Julie’s in.

Julie must make a Leap
of Faith, so now

she has to jump on
that giant swinging arm.

Yes.
Hold on, stay dry,

and hit the standing platform
on the other side.

Oh, boy.
You okay?

Honestly?
The toe point, very graceful.

A little bit earlier
on your timing, okay?

You know, Nicole, you did
say at the beginning of this

that it was all
about the Benjamins.

Yes.
Now it’s all about

the Julies.

It is all about
the Julies, baby.

Is that also a song?
If not it should be!

Leap of Faith in the rearview.
Baby.

Staring down
the Triple thr*at.

Here we go, Julie.

Come on, girl.
You got this.

You can make it, Julie.
You got it. You can do it.

You got it, Julie.
You got this, Julie.

You got this, Julie.

That was premature.
That was a premature wipeout.

Premature wipeouts
happen to us all.

It is completely okay
and completely natural.

It’s okay. It’s very natural.
Very normal.

Yes.
You’ve got to believe.

You’ve got to believe.

Maintains her balance,
and now realizes

that the objects
move simultaneously.

Yeah.

But, she hasn’t fallen
in the water yet.

But still has her balance.
Yeah.

Yeah. She still has
her balance, and...

Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

She had. She had.
Had her balance.

Julie is making
another attempt

on the Leap of the Faith.
You can see her hands

are cold, she’s trying
to gain her bearings,

keep her head on straight.

Come on, Julie.
Let’s go, girl.

She is...
She’s tired.

I think she’s scared.
I think she’s tired.

I think she’s a little
afraid.

She doesn’t want to hit
that water again. It’s cold.

Will Julie conquer her fear
of the Triple thr*at?

Come on, Julie. Yes, Julie.

Let’s go, Jules.
Balance yourself.

On the first
of three obstacles...

Yes.
In the Triple thr*at.

She’s on the second.
Yes, Julie. That’s it.

I think now she’s possibly
getting the hang of it.

Just like that.
Just like that.

She safely hops on the last
obstacle of the Triple thr*at.

One more leap
to the finish platform.

Yeah. Oh, no.

Possibly $25,000
in the balance.

Yes, Julie. Yes, Julie.
Yes. Yes, Julie.

She does it. She makes it.
Julie, nice jump.

Yes.
Do you have to jump it? No.

Did you jump it? Yes.

Yes.
Oh, my gosh.

Great job.
Hi.

Benjamin?
Yes, sir.

Julie? It was close.
It was close?

It was close, but you guys
won "Wipeout,"

and you won $25,000.

All right.

And, a job well done.

Thank you.
You’re very welcome.

You’re welcome.

The Coaches execute
the perfect game plan

in the zone and emerge
triumphant over Beach, Please.

From jumping Jacks
and blowing whistles,

to coaching each other
through the Wipeout Zone,

these caring coaches emerged
with a trophy and $25,000.

And that concludes
another episode

of the awardwinning
"Wipeout."

John, we won an award?
What is it?

I saw a camera guy
walking around

with a number one dad mug
and it looked pretty legit.

So, you know,
that’s a big win for all of us.

You know what, we’ll take
the Ws where we can get them.

Next week
some more crazy-ass duos

will take on the course and
compete for a $25,000 prize.

Until then from Camille Kostek,
I’m Nicole Byer.

And I’m John Cena.
Good night and big balls!