01x18 - You Can't Small-SEE Me

[bunniefuu]

Whoa! This is wild!

Nope. This is "Wipeout."
Oh.

No!

The big balls
are back, America.

I’m Nicole Byer.
And I’m John Cena.

We’ll be your guides
as we reintroduce you

to the most insane
competition show known to man.

Oh!

She get hit hard.

But that’s the game
of ""Wipeout.""

Olé!

Each week, teams of two
will compete for their share

of the $25,000 Grand Prize.

The courses are crazier.

Whoo!

The contestants are bendier.

That one’s gotta hurt.

And the hosts are sexier.

Beauty and brawn, brains
and brawn, funny and brawn.

Don’t set their expectations
too high, Nicole.

What if we don’t deliver?

Welcome back,
America, to ""Wipeout"!"

Hello, America.

This is "Wipeout"
and I’m your host, John Cena.

Here with me as always

is my cohost and best friend,
Nicole Byer.

John, would you tell me
if my wig was on crooked?

I don’t think
that’s my place.

Could I call you if I fell
getting out of the shower

and I was lying naked
on the bathroom floor

with nothing to cover
my nono bits but a loofa?

Well, II don’t live
near you.

I could call somebody.

Would you share
a seafood tower with me

if you were allergic
to shellfish?

Sounds like a death wish.

Then we are not
best friends, John Cena.

Nooh. Cohost, yes.

But besties?
Mm, not yet. Mmmm.

Okay, I guess
I’ll keep trying.

But we’ve got a bunch
of friends here today

trying to walk away
with that $25,000 Grand Prize.

Our teams will face
the qualifier today.

A fivepart
obstacle course behemoth.

First, they’ll have to try
to avoid

getting smacked around
in our Wallop Wall.

Then they’ll need to avoid
getting swept up

by our rotating pegs
at the Spin Cycle.

Next up,
a "Wipeout" classic.

The Big Balls.

Make it across
and grab Smallsy

for a $250 bonus.

After that,
it’s the Body Blender.

Jump the hurdles or get
cut down in the process.

And finally, the players end

with a swinging
and swaying Jigglelator

before a final leap
to the finish platform.

The six fastest teams
to finish the qualifier

make it through
to the next round.

But first, let’s check in

with the always upbeat
Camille Kostek.

Thanks, guys.
I’m down here

with Bad Dude Tito
and Ruby Raze,

this wrestling duo.

What’s going on?
How ya guys doin’?

Listen here,
"Wipeout" jabronies.

You don’t have a chance.

John Cena,
when I’m done with "Wipeout,"

I’m coming after you, brother.

Oh!

Oh!
Oh, no!

Friends of yours?
What’s happening?

No, but a stranger is
just tag team partner

you haven’t clobbered
with a foreign object yet.

Oh!

Just like ducking
a clothesline. Come on.

Let me tell you
something, brother.

Bad Dude Tito cannot compete
with the Comedy Clubber.

The Master Pod Blaster,

the Big Time Big sh*t,

Nasty Nicole
and her partner...

what’s your cool
wrestling name again?

Um, John Cena.

Oh.

Nasty Nicole
with a double axe handling

and some cup of coffee
for Tito in the big time.

Oh, yeah!

No idea what that means,
but I like the energy.

Watch out
for that middle one.

Wallop Wall wants in
on the action now.

It’s just begging
for that hot tag.

Man!
I got to get a steel chair.

To save these two?

No. To sit on.

To watch this again
and again and again and again.

Now Bad Dude Tito wants
to rumble with the Big Balls.

Whoa!

Yikes!

That’s the same way my cousin
left her honeymoon cruise.

These guys need to get back
to wrestling basics.

Waving your hand
in front of your face

while wearing
brightly colored wristbands

and pretending
you’re invisible.

It’s not pretending.
They can’t see me!

All right,
who wants to wrestle me?

Whoa. So many hands.
You guys love me?

Or youyou want me go down.

Ugh, different kind
of wrestling, girl.

We should move on.

But with
the Pro Wrestlers’ clock

coming up on nine minutes,
they may not be.

Yeah, the last
one rung my bell.

Who’s next?

This is Charles and Tempest.

Watch out.

Steady.

Camille, tell us more.

Thanks, guys. I’m down here
with Tempest and Charles.

Welcome to "Wipeout."

How do you guys
know each other?

We share a onebedroom
currently.

Wow.

It sounds like you might want
to get a bigger spot.

Yes.
Oh, yeah. Hey, John.

Hey, John. What’s going on?
What’s up?

John, these people
are flirting with you

to get a better place to live.

What?
What do we call this?

It’s like a little twerk.

Low twerk.
Oh, I dropped something.

Oh, my God!
And we have impact.

The Roommates’ Charles is
making his way

across the Wallop Wall.

I hope that tiny apartment
they share has thick walls.

My family does not know
I’m doing this.

Charles approaching
the Big Balls.

Oh,, the balls.

I don’t usually say that
until at least the third date.

Shut the
holy.

Charles is getting
tossed around

pretty good by the Motivator.

It does seem like
the screaming is helping.

Yeah, Charles. Go!

I’m trying. It’s slippery.

Yikes!
Okay. That is terrifying.

The Motivator gives Charles

a pat on the back
he never asked for.

Wow, when you slow it down,

Charles kind of looks like
a puppet going nuts.

And someone cut the strings.

Now he’s a real boy.

Oh, I wish I could
call my mother right now.

Oh, your mama
can’t help you now.

Charles has made it
to the Jigglelator

and the screams continue.

What the was that?

"Wipeout" goo.

It’s a mix of slime, soap,
and John’s sweat.

You know I run hot, Nicole.

Charles, stop and think about
how to handle the Jigglelator.

Ha, just kidding.

Stopping to think
on the Jigglelator

is a rookie mistake.

With a finishing time
of 8 minutes and 3 seconds,

only time will tell

if the Roommates will be
moving on up to the gauntlet.

Let’s see who’s next.

I’m gonna teach
this course a lesson.

I’m gonna take those balls
to the principal’s office.

Nicole,
if you couldn’t tell,

these cousins
are both teachers.

School’s in session.

I don’t have time to read
the whole book.

Give me the Cliff Notes
on these two.

I’m Michelle.
And I’m Gilbert.

Whoo!

I am a group counselor.

I meet kids
from all different backgrounds

and I get to help them.

I’m a substitute teacher

and I’m working to be
an actual teacher.

I’m worried that
if we don’t win "Wipeout,"

I’ll never hear the end of it
from my students.

So all your kids are probably
watching you guys right now.

Yes.

Is there anything you want
to say to them?

Yes.
What’s up, guys?

Doing this for you.

Yep. Stay in school.
Don’t do dr*gs.

Sounds like one of those
’90s PSAs.

The bell has rung

and Gilbert is off
to first period,

the Wallop Wall.

Oh!

Remember, kids,
there’s always

a second Sucker Puncher.

Watch your ass.

For the kids!
For the children. Let’s go.

Michelle tries to ace
the Jigglelator.

Go, Michelle.

But Jiggie went full
mean girl and told Michelle,

"You can’t sit with us."

Was that wipeout
for the kids, too?

Yep.

And with a very impressive
finishing time of 5 minutes

and 19 seconds, cousin duo
the Class Acts have top marks.

You know, John, the cousins
aren’t the only relatives

taking on the qualifier today.

We’ve got Ohio siblings
Marcus and Morgan.

OH
IO.

OH
IO.

Whoo!
With all these family ties,

I feel like
I’m in an old sitcom.

"Family Splatters" is filmed
in front of a live

"Wipeout" audience.

Buckeyes Bro Marcus

giving us
a little physical comedy.

Cue the classic catchphrase.
Oh, shoo.

Marcus about to mix it up
with our special guest star.

I’m just here
for the paycheck.

Takes off and...
jumps the Big Balls.

Did I do that?

That never gets old.

And after
"Family Splatters,"

stick around for an allnew
"Happy Wife Happy Life."

That’s my husband! Yeah!

Husband Noah taking on
the wall stepbystep.

I love you!
- Aww.

Have mercy.

Okay, that was bad.

It’s part of our all
Thursday night comedy lineup.

Oh, no!

Oh, no!
Okay, I’m gonna avoid that.

For Ohio!

TGIW.

Thank goodness it’s "Wipeout."

Ooh.

And don’t forget about
the late night

scary movie of the week
starring Camille Kostek.

Be fearful
of the Twerkalator.

Ah! Too scary!

I think I peed a little.

Well, while John changes
his pants,

there’s plenty
more qualifier to come.

Followed by a double feature
of the gauntlet.

Hello, America,
and welcome back

to another episode
of "Wipeout."

I’m John Cena
andwhere’s Nicole?

Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Hey, what happened?

I was, um
ooh, I was in a meeting with...

You just woke up
from a nap, didn’t you?

Yeah.
Yeah. I figured.

I saw you ragetweeting
at the Olive Garden

at 4:00 a.m.
You’ve got to stop.

Yeah, well, they came
for me first.

Well, we got a bunch of teams

all coming
for that $25,000 Grand Prize.

Let’s see who makes it
through the qualifier.

Up next are cousins
Olivia and Cameron.

Look at this.

Never before seen.
Right here on "Wipeout."

Uhoh.

Did they just light
the set on fire?

I swear, this happens
at least twice a week.

Cameron is making her way
across the Wallop Wall

That’ll turn your
spirit smile upside down.

This run is straight fire.

She’s taking on
the Body Blender now, and...

Ooh, splashed down.

If you could twirl fire,
you could do anything.

I’m not quite sold
on that logic, Camille.

Nice gymnastics.
You put soap on this?

Yes, Olivia.

We’re not gonna make things
easy for you.

This new generation
just wants handouts.

Well, I want "Wipeout."

Yeah.

Oh!
And handouts.

And the Jigglelator strikes,

knocking Olivia
right into the water,

dampening her flame.

Even Simone Biles
wouldn’t stand a chance

against the Jigglelator.

Ooh, could we get her
on this show?

Potentially as my new cohost?

And Pretty Twisted hits
the finish line

with a time of 6 minutes
and 41 seconds.

As of now, they’re blazing
a trail into the gauntlet.

Up next, Kate and Marcus,
the Ultrarunners.

I got the runs!
I got the runs!

If they’re this happy
when they have the runs,

imagine how psyched they’ll be
when they pass a kidney stone.

Even the crew has the runs?

Sure am glad I skipped
the tuna tartare.

Just when Kate thought

she outsmarted
the Wallop Wall...

Boom!

Kate wishes she could run
as fast as the airbag.

I taste dirt.

This isn’t wonderful.
C’mon, Marcus!

Marcus thinks he can
outrun the Motivator.

But he ends up flipping
for the Big Balls.

And Marcus illustrates

yet another
Wipeopedia entry.

Ah, yes.

This is called a Cupid’s fall.

When a player falls
headoverheels

into the Big Balls.

This is tough.
It’s harder than I thought.

Marcus,
why aren’t you running?

You know what?

I would rather run 100 miles
than do this.

Ha! That’s what you get
for exercising for fun.

With one obstacle left,

the Ultrarunners
are nearing six minutes.

Will they be running
into the gauntlet?

We’ll see.
Who’s up next?

Kierstin and Ben
have been besties

since elementary school

and still play
those old school games.

So what do I have to do?
Pick a color?

You have to pick a color.
Blue.

Okay. BLUE.
Four.

Ooh.

"Give Nicole Byer
a foot rub."

Nicole, get those feet ready.
I’m comin’ on up to you.

Ooh. I want to play.

Quick, before Camille gets here
with my foot massage.

Pick a color.
Green.

Okay. A number.

Five.

It says, "Give Nicole $100."

Do they all say that?
No.

This one says $300.

And then this one says,
"Give Nicole a Tesla."

And then this one says

Second Grade Bestie Ben
taking on the playground

that is our Spin Cycle.

Makes it past Principal Cena

but gets walloped
in the head by Nicole.

That must mean she likes you.

I do not.

Bestie Kierstin is carefully
avoiding the Nutcracker.

But she took her eyes
off the airbag.

Wow.

When I was growing up,

Wallop Walls
didn’t even have airbags.

I am living
my childhood dream.

Wow, Ben’s been
planning this for a while.

Go, Benjie. You’ve got it.

Yeah, he just taught
those Big Ball who’s boss!

Whoo!
That’s my best friend.

That’s my best friend.

As a young boy,

little Ben spent
every waking moment

dreaming of balls.

But not just any balls.
Big balls.

And how he will one day
dance across them victorious.

And now it’s come true?

Can Kierstin follow
her best friend’s lead?

Looks like she’s gonna have
to repeat the Big Balls

like John repeated
second grade.

That was
a pretty solid attempt.

With a finishing time
of 6 minutes and 17 seconds,

it’s looking like
the Second Grade Besties

will be graduating
to the gauntlet.

Who’s next?

Whoohoo! Let’s go.
Oh, man.

I keep telling these guys.

You must put on your wetsuit

and a life jacket if you want
to complete the course.

What’s up? I’m Jake.
I’m Tyler.

And we are...
- The GCuties.

Our motto is just look good,
feel good.

Always ready for the next
Instagram picture, right, Jake?

The way to label me would be
an influencer, singer.

Do we spend a little too
much time on our phones? Yes.

Are we doing "Wipeout"
for the Gram?

Yes.

How do I look, Tyler?

Good as always.
Go, Tyler!

Tyler, now fully clothed,

quickly avoids
the first Sucker Puncher.

Watch out for that thing.
Tyler saved his moneymaker.

What the
And his baby maker.

And he makes it past
the second Sucker Punch,

only to end up in the mud pit
at the very end.

Here, we see Tyler giving
Blue Steel a run for its money

with the hottest new look
of the season,

the Thirsty Ostrich.

Thirsty Ostrich.
Thirsty Ostrich.

Thirsty Ostrich.
Thirsty Ostrich.

So hot right now.

This is way harder
than it looks.

Jake says the same thing
about reading.

Tyler is trying to charm
the Jigglelator,

but will his good looks
be enough?

Wow, these guys
can look good

even covered in purple goo.

Tyler...

Whoa!

A little louder
next time, Jake.

But it did give him a chance
to try out

an even hotter look
than Thirsty Ostrich.

The Startled Lemur.
Startled Lemur.

Startled Lemur.
Startled Lemur.

Startled Lemur.
Whoa!

There you go.
You guys did it.

Oh, my gosh.

John, Nicole, I don’t think
we can show this...

Yes, we can.
Anymore.

Get out of
those wetsuits, boys.

And the GCuties end up

with a time of 5 minutes
and 35 seconds.

That’s the second best time
in the qualifiers,

so they will be moving on
to the gauntlet.

Along with cousins
the Class Acts

and BFFs Second Grade Besties.

Also joining the gauntlet
will be Pretty Twisted,

the Buckeyes,
and the Ultrarunners.

We’ll be right back.
Whoa!

We’ve got a fierce gauntlet
on the way.

What would it take
for me to become

a very good WWE superstar?

Oh, my God, and my
signature move could be, like,

"You can’t see me."

That will never work.
I mean, I don’t know.

I thought it was pretty good.

I mean, it was good,
but it’ll never work.

All right, John.

Welcome back
to "Wipeout," America.

I’m John Cena
here with Nicole Byer.

We got six teams
still battling it out.

But only two will make it
through to the Wipeout Zone

with the $25,000 on the line.

The gauntlet will be done
in two heats.

Each heat, three teams
competing at the same time

will be practically
climbing over one another,

starting at the CarousHell.

Then it’s a foot race

through the disgusting
mud pits

and slippery slopes
of the Messy Mile.

And finally,
the Pummel Pool,

where the choice between
the revolving French Fries

and the giant
Spinning Lollipop

could make or break it all.

The first team to have
both members

cross the finish line
moves on to the Wipeout Zone.

And in heat one
of the gauntlet,

we’ve got
the mindmolding teachers,

the Class Acts, in yellow.

Ohio natives
the Buckeyes in green.

And the Second Grade Besties
in purple.

What if I miss the dismount?

What?
I’ll go flying in the water.

Morgan, you’re describing
the premise of our show.

You want me to go first?

Of course.

What happened
to ladies first?

Congratulations, you guys.

You have made it
to the gauntlet.

Three, two, one.

There’s the horn

and this heat
of the gauntlet has begun.

It’s crazy.

Gilbert of Class Acts
will be our first dropout.

Second Grade Bestie Ben
goes second.

Whoa!

But unfortunately,
he’ll be held back.

Look at Gilbert.

Putting on a masterclass

as he breezes through
the CarousHell.

Is he gonna charge us
for that?

How did he do that?

Hey, Gilbert.
What’s the rush?

I’m trying to win this thing.
There you go.

That’s the answer
I was looking for.

Now, these two had the best
time in the qualifier.

But can they keep
their grades up till the end?

Ooh.

The family reunion
is postponed for now.

Come on, Mo.

Morgan of the Buckeyes
is giving worried eyes

as she contemplates
the 18foot drop.

Marc, I can’t jump.
I can’t jump, Marc.

Come on, Morgan.

The helmet has
already ruined your hair.

What’s a little water?

I can’t do it by myself.
That is true.

Per rule 162,
you cannot advance

to the next part of the course
without your partner.

And rule number seven.

If your name is Marcus
and you wipe out,

you must take Nicole
on a date.

Nicole, that’s not
in the rules.

Oh,.

Check the "Wipeout" rulebook,
Nicole’s abridged edition.

Dates with Marcus and unlimited
hugs from anyone named Dave.

It’s all in there.

Second Grade Ben gives it
a second try.

The propeller bar puts him
on his back,

but he wins the fight.

Way to stand up to a bully.

Come on, Mo, you’re dry.
Marc

Mo, just drop.
I don’t care

You’ve been hit harder.
Seriously.

If you can handle
being a Browns fan,

this should be
a walk in the park.

Bestie Ben is still
hanging in there.

He just needs his second grade
second half to catch up.

And they could be the first
team into the Messy Mile.

Yes.

But Marcus from Ohio
is showing

that the propeller
is small potatoes.

You’re thinking Idaho.

He shucked that propeller
like an ear of corn.

Iowa.
Okay.

Which one
which one’s Ohio again?

Marc!

Good job.

And Marcus makes it across.

Kierstin
of Second Grade Besties

tries her best to hang on
to the propeller,

and she finally passes
her times tables.

Now, Class Act Michelle
tries to show

those who can teach...

Yeah, Michelle!
Can also do.

You got this. Hey.

But Bestie Kierstin
isn’t here to make friends

with that Sweeper Bar.

And she sticks the landing
on the bridge.

Hell yeah. Let’s go.

The BFFs have officially
made it to the Messy Mile.

Well, they won’t have
the Messy Mile to themselves

for long,
because the Class Acts

are busting out of study hall.

Here they come.

Come on. Let’s go.
Good job. Good job.

Back at the very top
of the course,

Buckeye Morgan
is still too shook

to even take
the leap of faith.

Come on, Mo!

I’m scared.

Scared of what? Water?

Gilbert of Class Acts
is catching up

to the Second Grade Besties

and whoa, check out
that clean landing!

Gilbert taking the lead.
Doing it for you, kids.

He has zipped
through the zipline

and now hurrying
over the humps.

Meanwhile, cousin Michelle
attempts to pass the zipline.

Ooh.

Go, Michelle.

You think Gilbert
would have heard

of the No Teammate
Left Behind Act.

Gilbert, Michelle, Kierstin,

and Ben all scaling
Mount Wipeout.

Yeah, Michelle.
Do your knee.

Arm, knee, arm, knee.

Whoo, taking that jump first.
This is a tight race.

Both teams entering
into the Pummel Pool.

They are neck and neck,
shoulder to shoulder.

Drenched, tired, and hungry.
It’s like "Wipeout" Coachella.

It’s Class Acts
versus Second Grade Besties.

School is in session.

Gilbert starts by schooling
the others

on b*ating the Big Ball

and acing
the Tippy Table test.

Look at Gilbert go!

No hesitation
is really working for him.

Now Gilbert must decide
what’s for lunch,

lolly or the fries.

Yeah, school lunches
were never the healthiest.

He goes for the lolly.
Keep it low!

He’s moving like Spring
Break is on the other side.

Spring Break? Oohooh!

Nicole, put your shirt down.

Second Grade Bestie Ben
goes for it.

Oh, but gets tossed
out of the cool kids’ table.

Having flashbacks
to your childhood, John?

It’s slippery right here.

Will the Lollipop be
teaching Gilbert a lesson?

Not today.
Unbelievable!

There is absolutely
no substitute for greatness.

Class Act Gilbert becomes

the first contestant
to complete the gauntlet.

Gilbert. That was insane!

We just need your partner

so I can send you guys
to the Wipeout Zone.

Speaking of waiting
on your partner...

Mo, are you gonna attempt?

I’m scared.

She’s drier than Betty White
in Phoenix.

Or me watching
a Dane Cook special.

You ride roller coasters!

Okay.

Looks like she’s repositioning
herself for a better angle?

Yeah. I can’t do that.

A better angle to quit.
Oh, damn, man.

I’m not doing that.

I say that to myself
in the mirror every morning,

and yet here I am.

Go, Michelle.

Michelle may be slow,
but she is

steadily making her way
towards her cousin Gilbert.

Good job, Michelle.

The Class Act cousins
are in the lead.

She copies off
Gilbert’s paper

and goes for the Lollipop.

I call that working smarter,
not harder.

Second Grade Bestie Ben

isn’t going out
without a fight.

He bullies the Big Ball

and suspends
over the Tippy Table.

You’re gonna get dizzy.
I know. I’m trying not to.

Just go for it.

Michelle has to make a move
or Ben and Kierstin

will start moving in on her.

You got this, A.

I don’t like that I have
to get across it.

And I don’t like
paying my taxes.

That’s life, Kierstin.

Kierstin enrolls
onto the big pink ball.

Okay. Okay..

But doesn’t matriculate
past the Tippy Table.

Ooh, that’s about a seven
on the WipeoutOMeter.

I don’t know
how I’m gonna get off.

Then jump for it.

Class Act Michelle is ready
to finish the course.

And she’s no class clown.
Yeah. There we go.

She cleared the landing
and is ready

for a full ride scholarship
to the winner’s circle.

Just one more jump.

Go, go, go, go. Jump!

Yeah! Let’s go!
There it is.

And the Class Acts have
earned their gauntlet degree

and are headed
to the Wipeout Zone.

You did it!

Michelle and Gilbert,
congratulations.

You guys are going straight
to the Wipeout Zone.

You’re doing it for the kids.

You better listen
to me in class.

The Class Acts
Michelle and Gilbert

proved they were scholars
of the gauntlet

and now await
their Wipeout Zone challenger.

Up next, more big balls
and big falls in the gauntlet.

Plus a Wipeout Zone
you won’t want to miss.

I don’t know
if I can like that.

You didn’t like it?

I should comment on it.
Okay.

Boy, he wiped out!
That’s my comment.

Truly.
But I don’t like it.

I liked it.

I guess my absolute
favorite smell would be

that of a man in the morning.

And then
he, like, makes bacon.

And then the bacon
is so fragrant and nice.

So yes, a man in the morning.

Okay. Welcome back, America.

One team has proven
their Wipeout Zone worthiness

by completing the gauntlet.

We have three more teams
eyeing that coveted second spot

of the Wipeout Zone
who will be competing

against the Class Acts
for the $25,000 prize.

The teams in heat two are
the ultrasonic Ultrarunners.

I got you. I got you.

The Gen Z GCuties.
What did I do

to end up on this platform
wearing this outfit?

That’s it, John.
That’s your new book title.

The wetsuit’s a little tight
for my liking,

but otherwise, I’m doing great.

And the courageous cousins,
Pretty Twisted.

Congratulations, you guys.
This is the gauntlet.

Here we go.
Three, two, one.

Okay.
All right.

Go, go.

Cameron of Pretty Twisted

is the first
to make the dreaded drop.

But she couldn’t catch
the CarousHell’s baton.

You got it.

Fellow influencer Jake
wants to start a new trend.

And he makes it.
What a trailblazer!

Olivia doesn’t want
to be left out.

Yeah, Liv.

The clout chase is on.
Tyler, should I go?

I mean, I would. Why not?

Okay, you got it.
Whenever I’m faced

with important
life decisions, I think...

I don’t know.
What would Tyler do?

I got a tattoo just in case.

Oh, Nicole. No.

Oh, I already know
I chose the wrong thing.

What happened to
the confident shirtless hunk

we’ve come to know and love?

Where the hell am I going?

Now that’s the title
of your book, John.

Oh, yay!

Despite the confusion,
whining, and complaining,

Jake made it over
the Sweeper Bar

and onto the bridge.

Let’s go, Tyler.

His GQ twin Tyler
onearms the bar

and sticks the landing.

Impressive.

Cameron is coming
for her camera time.

Whoo!

And now Olivia wastes
no time

twirling her way
around the bar...

Whoa!

And safely to the bridge.

We’re cruising
in the gauntlet today.

Look at this.

Ultrarunner Marcus tried
to set a good pace

but got tripped up
by the Sweeper Bar.

Let’s go, Tyler.
If Tyler can make it

to the other side
and reunite with Jake,

they’ll be the first
to the Messy Mile.

If they don’t chest bump each
other off the bridge first.

Jake and Tyler
taking the lead.

It’s nice to see
these pretty boys

not afraid
to get a little dirty.

Of course there’s goo.
Shirts on this time.

At the zipline,
Jake fails an attempt.

But Tyler goes viral
as he lands the jump.

The Ultrarunners and Pretty
Twisted are a distance behind.

Someone needs to break
that pack.

Marcus makes it
to the Sweeper,

but Cameron is
a millisecond behind him.

Nice, Marcus.
And he’s made it.

Pretty Twisted
are bridgebound,

and off they go.

Ultrarunners are now
ultra behind

as Pretty Twisted
enters the Messy Mile.

Don’t look at them, Tyler.
They are evil.

Finally, the Ultrarunners
can enter the Messy Mile.

The Ultrarunners had
the worst qualifying time

this morning

but are now within leg reach
of Pretty Twisted.

These teams are
neck and neck...

Oh,.

In the zipline to the humps.
They are on track to catch up

with the GCuties whose lead
is about to get canceled.

Come on, Tyler.
Meanwhile,

the GCuties get
their skin moisturized

at Mount Wipeout.

Dig away, dig away.
All of it.

I just drank dirt.

Is she done?
Yeah.

Oh no.
Is Pretty Twisted tappin’ out?

We’re done. I can’t do more
than what I’m doing right now.

This just in.
Cameron and Olivia just quit.

I only like
to see people succeed.

Just kidding.
I love when they fall.

That leaves us
with two teams left fighting

towards that $25,000
Grand Prize.

The GCuties who are entering
the Pummel Pool.

And at the top
of Mount Wipeout,

the Ultrarunners
who were lagging for a while

but have luckily
picked up their pace.

Tyler is the first
to take on the Tippy Table.

Oh, God.

Oh, but he gets tossed back.

GCutie Jake doesn’t make
the same mistake.

Jake, now it’s
meal prep time.

He has to decide between
the fries and the lollipop.

Jake, I think
French Fries maybe.

Meanwhile, Kate is
attempting to skate

through the Pink Ball
and Tippy Table.

She’s on.

But not for long.

Jake gives the fries a taste,
but that extra shake

proves to be too much
for his dietary restrictions.

Ultrarunner Marcus tries to
sprint across the Tippy Table.

I guess running a 5K
is easier than winning 25K.

I’ve never even run
half of a K,

so I’m not the one to ask.

Tyler is back
at the Big Ball

and Tippy Table.

And just like that,

the GCuties are
back in the lead.

Kate gets a running start
on the Big Ball.

Nice, Kate.

But it’s balance, not speed,
you need

when toppling the Tippy.

She nearly misses
the landing

but was able
to pull herself up

and avoid a wipeout.

Tyler goes on

to tackle the Lollipop.

Oh,.

And Tyler takes a tumble.

Hey, Marcus,

try to get the side
so you can slide, okay?

Ultra Kate feels equipped

to give tips
on the Tippy Table.

These two better hope
their runner’s high kicks in

if they want to cross
the finish line

before the GCuties.

I think I’m going fries.

Marcus is going
for the fries.

Will it pay off?

Just slide through it. Slip.

That knocked the wind

and the second wind
out of Marcus.

Kate, on the other hand,
doesn’t hesitate.

She shakes and bakes
through the fries.

Effortlessly done!

Kate at the door
of the winner’s circle.

Tyler is closing in
right behind her.

And Kate makes it.

The Ultrarunners may have
lost their footing

at the top of the course.

But they came back
in full force.

Who will be the next
in the winner’s circle?

Tyler, Marcus, or Jake?

Jake struts through
the fries with ease.

Tyler, I got it.

He’s over the Big Pink Ball
and now members from each team

are in the winner’s circle.

First team to me is going
to the Wipeout Zone.

Come on, Marcus.
Come on, Marcus.

Marcus’ footwork
proves faulty

as he fails to fry
the French Fries.

Tyler, do the French Fry.
So close.

Jake believes Tyler can feel
the fries better than Marcus.

Fast?
Yeah.

It’s called fast food
for a reason.

Get going!

Yes!
And he did it.

Let’s go. Let’s go.

Marcus doesn’t have time
to do a lap on the lolly.

He needs to dismount
immediately.

It may be too late.
And Tyler touches down.

Let’s go!
There it is. There it is.

Yes!
You did it!

You did it. You’re going on
to the final round.

Congratulations. You’re going
to the Wipeout Zone.

How do you guys feel?

There’s so much
goopy goop, Ty.

I don’t need
to see this again.

I think they’re gonna gain

a lot more followers
after this run.

John, I don’t recall you
being a fan of shirts

back in your wrestling days.

Just follow ’em online,
Nicole.

That was one wild ride
through the gauntlet.

The GCuties are heading
to the Wipeout Zone

against Class Acts
for the $25,000 prize.

You won’t want to miss this.
Whoo!

Crashing down
to the Earth’s surface

into Lake Wipeout
like a meteor.

Like that documentary
"Armageddon"

starring Ben Affleck.

That might not have been
a documentary.

Welcome back to "Wipeout,"
the best show on TV

hosted by a hilarious
comedic actor and sex symbol.

Thanks, Nicole.
Which one am I?

Oh, I was just talking
about myself.

You could go now.
Welp, can’t follow that.

Two teams remain
as they compete

for the $25,000 grand prize.

The only thing in their way,
the Wipeout Zone.

Let’s take a look.

We’ve made it
to the top of the mountain,

the Wipeout Zone.

This colossal course
is made up of four stages

done relay style,

with each contestant
attempting two obstacles.

The first team member
will get sh*t out

from our
Speeding Silver b*llet

into freezing cold
waters below.

From there, they’ll swim
to the giant Spinning Vertigo,

where they’ll attempt
to maneuver from peg to peg

without losing their grip
or their lunch.

They’ll need to press
the button in the middle

to lower the bridge before
they can leap to safety.

That’s when they’ll tag
their partner

to take on the Leap of Faith,

where they’ll have
to launch themselves

onto one of the spinning arms,
maintain their balance,

and jump
to the narrow platform

on the other side.

It’s tough,

but if they successfully
make it across,

they’ll arrive
at the final challenge.

The Triple thr*at.

If a contestant can somehow

make it
from one spinning hexagon

to the next and safely leap
to the final platform

faster than their competition,
they’ll take home $25,000.

In tonight’s Wipeout Zone,

it’s the GCuties
versus the Class Acts.

GCutie Tyler is loaded
into the Silver b*llet.

His pal Jake striking a pose

until it’s his turn
to be tagged in.

I hope they know
Lake Wipeout

is definitely gonna
mess up their hair.

Three, two, one.

Tyler is launched
into Lake Wipeout,

and he hit it
with all of himself.

Yeah, his whole body
slammed right in.

I’m glad I didn’t have
to do that.

Nicole, I don’t know if you
know this about these guys.

Uhhuh?
They’re smoking hot.

They are smoking hot
and they like to be shirtless.

So maybe they’ll take
their tops off if they win.

The big if.

Let’s go, Ty.
Tyler...

Middle, middle, middle.
Oh.

Needs to get to the middle.
Yes.

Because how you negotiate
vertigo is,

you mount the obstacle,
hit the button in the middle.

That puts down the ramp
on the other side,

and you leap safely
to the other side.

Yes. Yes. Right there.
Right there. Reach in it.

Yes! Let’s go. Hold on tight.
Hold on tight. You got this.

Go around another time.
Go around another time.

The part
that our contestants

have a lot of trouble with...

Yes. Yes.

Getting to the other side.
All you. All you.

Yes, ride that.

Although he’s set up
to make a jump right now.

Let’s go.

If he gets
his wits about him

and gets his feet out
from under him,

he’s got to go now.

Oh, dang.
Ooh, he hit that.

He tried to highfive
the platform,

and that’s not the game,
buddy.

Horseshoes or hand grenades.
It doesn’t count.

Watch behind you.

Hand grenades?
Did you say hand grenade?

I did.
Oh.

That’s the big drink
they give you in New Orleans.

Oh, I thought
it was called a Hurricane.

Wow, I’m befuddled.

Let’s go. All day, TY.

Tyler up again
on Vertigo, and...

There we go. Come on.
Let’s go. Let’s go.

Got to the middle
fairly quickly

and seems to have a strategy
planned out for himself.

Get to your feet.
Get to your feet. Go. Jump.

And he safely makes it
to the other side.

Jake’s turn to make
that Leap of Faith.

Let’s see.

I think my favorite part
about the Leap of Faith

is the little shuffle to it.

People get very excited
and then calm down.

Ooh.

Ooh. Ahh!
Yep.

I know Jake
is a social influencer.

Whoa!

Right there, it looked like
he was under the influence.

Yeah, he really did.

Raced and then stopped
and then, "Whoa, wait."

Yep. He influenced
his own wipeout.

Dude, you’re amazing.
I love you.

I love you too, dude.
This is freakin’ hard.

Aw, these two are throwing
toxic masculinity

into Lake Wipeout.

Jake now standing up
for another attempt

at the Leap of Faith,
where he has to jump

on that swinging arm.

And you saw how beautiful
that was.

He’s landed safely.
All right.

Can he land safely
on the platform?

Yes.
He does.

Leap of Faith negotiated.
Okay.

All right.
Good job, Jake.

Now he’s headed
for the Triple thr*at.

All right, here we go.
You got it.

You got it, Jake.

Ah! Whoa! Ah!

Jake seems to have
found his bearings

and racing
for some more balance.

There he goes. These guys
are making good time.

Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow!
He’s gonna try it. And he

Dang.

I don’t know
if I can like that.

You don’t like it?
I should comment on it.

Okay.
Boy, he wiped out.

That’s my comment.
Truly.

But I don’t like it.

I liked it.
You got it, Jake.

You have a lot of clothes
on right now.

Too many.
Yeah.

That’s all right.
Would you say so?

It’s cold. It’s cold.

Jake is back
on the Triple thr*at.

Jake is also a Triple thr*at.
He’s hot.

He knows how to take selfies.

And... okay,
he’s a double thr*at.

The Triple thr*at
has three obstacles

and another three obstacles
on the inside of each pad,

all moving in different
directions simultaneously.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

It is very difficult
to figure out,

but Jake looks like
he’s gonna land.

Yes!
There he goes!

Yes!

Fantastic run
by both Tyler and Jake.

Yes.
This is a strong showing.

You guys.
You should try this.

No.
No?

No. It’s difficult.
No, thank you.

Jake, Tyler,

you had an amazing time
in the Wipeout Zone.

Now it’s time to see if Gilbert
and Michelle can b*at it.

Oh, my gosh.

With an impressive time
of 4 minutes and 49 seconds,

the GCuties are looking good
and they know it.

Will the Class Acts
be able to make the grade?

They better.

No participation trophies
in the Wipeout Zone.

Do you have what it takes
to be a "Wipeout" champion?

Transform your backyard
into the ultimate Wipeout Zone

with the "Wipeout"
Super Spinner.

Includes one slide mat
and one waterpowered spinner.

Available now
at wildertoys.com/wipeout.

Welcome back to the show.

During the break, Nicole and I
armwrestled for money

like we always do.

We did, and honestly, John,
if you don’t start payin’ up

I’m gonna send my people
after you to collect.

Please don’t.

Next commercial,
double or nothing.

Ooh, you’re on.

Let’s check out the leaderboard
to see where we’re at.

Last round, the GCuties
had a handsome performance

of 4 minutes and 49 seconds.

Now the Class Acts
have to pull their grades up

to take home
the grand prize of $25,000.

The Class Acts’ Gilbert

is getting loaded
into the Silver b*llet

while his partner Michelle
waits to be tagged in.

These two both work
in education,

so they’re doing this
for the kids.

Three, two, one.

There goes
the Silver b*llet.

Gilbert’s strapped in

and he lands face first
into Lake Wipeout.

You got this.
Gilbert is going for Vertigo

like every substitute teacher
goes for the TV.

Let’s go, Gilbert.

I don’t know
very many Gilberts.

Gilbert Grape.
Gilbert Gottfried.

Gilbert Gottfried.

I let the soothing sounds
of his podcast

lull me to sleep every night.

Sounds about as relaxing
as a high speed car chase.

That’s right. You got it.
You got it.

This Gilbert is fast.
Wow.

He makes it to the middle
of Vertigo and the obstacle...

Uhhuh. Oh.

Is not as easy as it looks.

I can’t say
I’m upset about that.

Yeah, I can’tare we sad?
If I’m being honest.

No. But I hope he feels good.

Those GCuties
are talking smack.

Well, competitive spirit
is necessary here, Nicole.

Gilbert reached the button
faster than Tyler did.

So this looks like
it’s gonna be a close race.

You got it. You got it.
Go, go, go.

Now, hitting that button
brought the bridge down.

But how long
will it take Gilbert

to make it safely
to the other side?

There you go.
Stay right there.

You got it. Wait. Wait.

I think he’s got it.

There you go.
Leaps to safety.

And Mr. Gilbert is looking
really cool.

And here comes Michelle.
Tags in Michelle.

Michelle has gotta make
a Leap of Faith.

She is...
Also a good squat.

Possibly goin’
for the boot scoot.

No, she’s gonna leap.
Uhhuh.

And she has to leap
onto that swinging arm

and land safely on the
platform on the other side.

It sounds easy.
Oh, dang.

Do you think that Chumbawamba
song was inspired by "Wipeout"?

I think Chumbawamba song
inspired "Wipeout."

Oh, okay.

It’s the whole
chicken and egg scenario.

I was just about to say that.

What came first,
the chicken or the egg?

You got it, Michelle,

Now, Michelle is about
to make a second attempt

at the Leap of Faith.

They’re a little ahead
of the GCuties’ pace,

but she needs to land this
to stay that way.

It’s wet now, though.

She’s dropping in low again.

She’s trying
the same strategy.

It did not work for her.

I don’t know about this.

Her timing was
all messed up.

But this one is for the kids.

Ooh.
Ooh, she makes it.

Oh, boy!
She makes it.

She held on.
Oh, boy!

She needs to stay flat.
Wow. Good save.

That wasthat was the save
of the season.

Truly.

All right.
You got it, Michelle.

If she can make that leap
onto the platform

and she does and she holds on.

All right.
Leap of Faith conquered.

All right, Michelle,
you got this.

Triple thr*at in front of you.
You can do it.

If Jake and Tyler win,
they’ll take their shirts off.

I don’t know about
Gilbert and Michelle.

Maybe.

Maybe Gilbert will
show us his grapes.

Oh, no, Michelle!

Another spill from Michelle

and each one
at this point is costly.

I feel like you have a lot
of emotions going on right now.

Yeah.

One of them is, like,
"I do hope she falls again."

A little bit.

I mean, that’s real true
competition talk.

We only cut one check
for $25,000.

You got it, Michelle.

Michelle really needs
to hustle

if she wants to defeat
the GCuties.

The clock is ticking
for the Class Acts.

So Michelle can’t afford
another wipeout.

Yep, see, Michelle knows
how it works now.

Michelle’s got a rhythm
and she really

has to make something
happen for herself here.

Because they are fighting
a very fast clock

and Jake and Tyler’s time.

I think Michelle has it down.
Yes, Michelle. You got this.

She has a strategy,
hopefully.

She is biding her time.
Yes. Yes, yes, yes.

She has a chance.
Yes, Michelle. Yes! Yes!

And she does it!
Yes!

Yes!
Yeah!

Whoo!
Come on, Gilbert!

For the kids!
Yes. For the kids!

Yeah!
Yes!

That was incredible.
That was fun.

It hurt.
So fun.

Gilbert, Michelle,
you guys have won "Wipeout"

and you have won $25,000.

Congratulations!

And we get
a great celebration dance.

Awesome job. Congratulations.
Congrats.

Whoo!

Congratulations
to the Class Acts

for showing kids
that teachers can b*at

social media influencers
in the Wipeout Zone.

Michelle and Gilbert
have graduated

with a degree in "Wipeout."

Well, we made it to the end
of another episode.

What do you say we do this
again next week, Nicole?

Jesus, John,
could you be any thirstier?

I just meant
that we should come back

with a new batch of teams
competing for $25,000.

Fine, I’ll do it,
but only as friends.

Until then, I’m Nicole Byer.

And for Camille Kostek,
I’m John Cena saying,

"Good night and big balls."