01x02 - Baby Bottle

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Cuphead Show!" Aired: February 18, 2022 –; present.*
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Following the misadventures of loveable Cuphead and his cautious but easily-swayed brother Mugman as they scour the Inkwell Isles in search of fun and adventure.
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01x02 - Baby Bottle

Post by bunniefuu »

[imitating plane sound]

♪ Come with me to the Inkwell Isles
It's just off the coast, maybe 29 miles ♪

♪ Where there's good, and there's bad
And then there's in-between ♪

♪ With Cuphead and Mugman
You'll see what I mean ♪

♪ Ice cream and rockets
Trouble never ends! ♪

♪ Watch these ding-dongs
As they make new friends ♪

♪ They'll need some help
Just to stay on track ♪

♪ Oh, no, there's that guy!
You better watch your back! ♪

-♪ So if you're looking for fun! ♪
-♪ Yes, we're looking for fun ♪

-♪ A dash of heebie-jeebies! ♪
-♪ We've got the heebie-jeebies ♪

♪ Pack your bags and let's go!
Welcome to The Cuphead Show! ♪

♪ Welcome to The Cuphead Show! ♪

[plays mellow coda]

[baby giggles]

Well, it's that time again, boys.

I'm off to my weekly mustache wax.

Now, remember. Two rules while I'm gone.

Number one, don't touch my radio.

It is my most prized object after all.

And of course,
rule number two, no fighting!

Hold it!

Cuphead, why are we fighting again?

Uh, 'cause we're not supposed to?

Right!

[knocking]

Back so soon, dearest Kettle?

[both] "Please take care of baby."

[coos]

Aw!

How could someone leave
something so precious?

Uh, Mugman?

What are we supposed to do with a baby?

We show it love, of course.
Just watch and learn.

Hello, baby.

My name is Mugman.

Can you say Mu--

Mama.

[squeals]

That's right, baby! That's exactly right!

-Boop!
-[giggles]

Well, then, I guess
that makes me Dada, doesn't it?

Right? Dada?

[wails]

-[yelling]
-[wailing continues]

Mugman, why's it crying?

You need to burp him, Cuphead!

-I don't think it's working.
-Maybe he needs his diaper changed?

-Or I could try burping him again.
-Yeah, that's a great idea.

-It's all right, baby.
-[rumbling]

[burps, giggles]

Yeah. That's better.

Mama!

Hey, it worked!

Boop!

[screams]

Did you see that?! That thing bit me!

[gasps] Cuphead! Baby is not a "thing."

Baby is a baby.

[blows raspberry]

I think you two need to learn to get along
while I prepare some baby food.

And now, remember!

All baby needs is love!

[clock ticking]

Peekaboo! Peekaboo!

Peekaboo!

[gurgling]

[gasps]

Now, baby, you know it's not polite to--

[yelling]

[grunting]

Phew!

[baby] Mama!

Baby, no!

[muffled] Ow!

[giggles] Whee!

-[tearing sound]
-[gasps]

[giggling]

Baby!

[grunts]

[laughing]

[muffled laughter]

I just knew they'd get along.

-Now, baby--
-[rattling]

[squealing]

[screams]

[grunts]

Phew!

Bad baby! Bad--

-Baby?
-Mama?

[gasps]

Don't do it.

Easy…

Easy…

[glass smashes]

Oh, come on!

[gasps] Cuphead! Glass on the floor?!
Baby could get hurt!

Well, baby broke the fish bowl!

You were supposed to be watching baby!

That baby is not a normal--

Wait. Where's baby?

Baby!

Where'd it go?!

How should I know?!

[blows raspberry]

[giggles]

[both sigh]

There you are.

[lock clicks]

Open up, baby!

Open the door!

You gotta listen to me.

Something's wrong with that baby.
We gotta get rid of it.

Not a chance, Cuphead.
Baby needs our love!

What it needs is a leash!

Cuphead! The way you're talking,
it's like you never even wanted a baby!

I didn't!

[gasps]

Oh, well, then… [sniffles]

I guess I'll do all the parenting myself.

Be my guest! Hmph!

Baby? Would you be a darling
and open the door for Mama?

[music playing]

[both gasp]

Elder Kettle's radio!

[laughing]

[spluttering]

-[music stops]
-No! Bad baby! Bad!

[disapproving] Mama.

Uh, I don't like
that crazy glint in his eye.

Oh, nonsense, Cuphead.

-But--
-Calm down.

Wait right there.

I've had this bear
since I was a tiny baby.

It means the world to me.

It was always there to cheer me up,

and now it'll be there for you.

[lullaby playing]

[giggling]

[squeals]

[bear squeaks]

[lullaby slows and stops]

[gasps]

I'm gonna k*ll that thing!

Mugman, no! It's a baby!

It's not a baby!

-It's evil.
-[both gasp]

It's gone!

[baby giggles]

[wind gusts]

[piano keys mashing]

[baby giggles]

[baby screams]

[baby babbles]

My eyes!

[groaning]

[both yell]

That's it! I'm calling for help.

Hello, Operator? Get me the police!

Hello? Hello?

He cut the line!

[radio playing]

[gasps]

[splutters]

[coos, squeals]

[screams]

[yells]

[grunting]

[both sigh]

[screaming]

Now what do we do?!

-Dresser.
-Huh?

Dresser!

-Chair.
-No. Dresser.

No, chair!

[both] Whoa!

[groaning]

[baby cooing]

Baby, no!

Mama!

No!

[crash]

[both gasp]

[grunting]

[humming happily]

Whoa!

Huh?

Door ripped off its hinges?

Piano on fire?

Fishbowl shattered? Fish missing?

Antique china in pieces?

Dresser smashed into wall?

More fire?

[gasps]

Eh. Boys will be boys.

[chuckles]

My radio!

My most prized object!

[growls]

[steam whistling]

Baby did it.

Mama.

Aw!

This little cutie-patootie?

[baby talk]

[Elder Kettle screams]

Oh!

Bad baby!

[disapproving] Mama.

-[blows landing]
-[Elder Kettle yelling]

Boys! Help!

[groaning]

Okay. On three.

One,

two,

three!

[baby coos]

Aw!

[doorbell rings]

[baby] Mama.

[woman] So cute!

"Please take care of baby."

Oh!

Let's get you inside.

[theme tune playing]
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