01x11 - Dirt Nap

[bunniefuu]

[imitating plane engine]

♪ Come with me to the Inkwell Isles
It's just off the coast, maybe 29 miles ♪

♪ Where there's good, and there's bad
And then there's in-between ♪

♪ With Cuphead and Mugman
You'll see what I mean ♪

♪ Ice cream and rockets
Trouble never ends! ♪

♪ Watch these ding-dongs
As they make new friends ♪

♪ They'll need some help
Just to stay on track ♪

♪ Oh, no, there's that guy!
You better watch your back! ♪

-♪ So if you're looking for fun! ♪
-♪ Yes, we're looking for fun ♪

-♪ A dash of heebie-jeebies! ♪
-♪ We've got the heebie-jeebies ♪

♪ Pack your bags and let's go!
Welcome to The Cuphead Show! ♪

♪ Welcome to The Cuphead Show! ♪

[plays mellow coda]

[easygoing music playing]

[hums happily]

[whistles a tune]

[hums]

[whistles]

[hums]

[m*llitary drum roll]

Yoo-hoo! Boys! Breakfast is ready!

[boys] Be right there, Elder Kettle!

[Mugman] Isn't he the greatest?

[Cuphead] Yeah. I can't believe how full
of life he is, especially for his age.

-[Mugman] Don't ya just love him?
-[gushes]

Mugman.

[Cuphead] Eh.
I'm still in the "like" stage.

[gasps] Cuphead!

[Mugman] What's not to love?!

[Cuphead] Well, for one thing,
he's dirty, filthy, and disgusting!

[gasps]

[Mugman] He can't help the way he is.
Now let's eat. I'm starvin'!

[gasps]

[grunts]

[sucks teeth]

[groans]

[smacks lips]

Maybe I am disgusting.

[glugs]

Ah!

[glass smashes]

-Then I says--
-[expl*si*n]

-My eyeballs are on fire!
-Why is it so bright?!

Just your dear Elder Kettle
looking his shiny best.

Not a single speck or smudge. No, sirree!

[lovingly] Hope you love it.

[angrily] Hope it's in the "like" stage.

What's with him?

Get a load of this shine, would ya?

[chuckles] I… Whoa!

[screams in slow motion]

[thud]

[groans]

E-Everything's fine! Still shiny!

[titters]

[coughs]

Thanks for breakfast.

See you later, Elder Kettle.

Aw, that didn't go well.

[sighs]

Wonder what they're saying about me now.

[floorboards creak]

[Mugman] Looks like we were wrong
about how great he's doing.

[Cuphead] Yeah, he's gone downhill.
We gotta do something fast.

-[gasps]
-[Cuphead] Did you hear a gasp?

[louder gasp]

Uh, sorry about that, boys.
I just gasped twice and fell down.

But I'm fine!
I'm walking away now! Toodle-oo!

[hums unconvincingly]

Let's be realistic, Mugsy. I don't think
we can take care of him anymore.

[Mugman] Are you suggesting
that we send him away?

Send me away?

[Cuphead] I'm not sure we have any choice.

[gasps]

No!

[groans]

Elder Kettle? Are you okay?

[whistles] Never been better!
Just rearranging a few things.

-Here, let me help you.
-Ah!

Shoo! Scat!

I am perfectly capable
of doing things on my own.

Are you okay, Elder Kettle?

I'm not old!

Oh!

[groaning]

[Elder Kettle sobs]

[both] Eh.

[m*llitary music playing]

Uh, yoo-hoo!

Boys!

Watch this.

[straining]

[puffing]

-[cracks]
-Oh!

[whistles]

[grunts]

Ta-da!

-What are you doing?
-You poor elderly thing.

I'm not hurt. Not one bit.

[chuckles] I'm hip.

[yelps] My hip!

Do you need some help?

No! I'm fine!

Now close the window or…

or you're grounded!

[groans]

Aw, dishwater.
Now what are they gonna say about me?

I know you love him, Mugsy,

but what other option is there?
I mean, look at him.

He used to be so full of life, but now…

You're right, Cuphead.
We need to put him out of his misery.

[gasps]

[Cuphead] We should do it
sooner rather than later.

[Mugman] He's not gonna suffer, is he?

[Cuphead] We'll make it
quick and painless.

[strangled gasp]

[thud]

[groaning]

Poor Elder Kettle. What do you suppose
he was doing up that ladder anyway?

Maybe fixing the roof?

You know him.
He never slows down! He's so full of life!

Not like this poor little guy.

[dirge playing]

Let's go take care of it.

[groaning]

Oh, wha…?

-[Cuphead] What do we do with his body?
-[gasps]

We could bury him in the backyard.

[Cuphead] Yeah. That way,
he'll still kinda be with us.

[squeals]

Agreed.

They're gonna k*ll me!

Oh where did things go so wrong?!

Traitors.

[ominous sting]

Get it together, Kettle.

They're just two little boys.

You're a decorated w*r hero!

[rousing m*llitary music playing]

Keep digging, boys.

Better make that hole big enough for two.

Phew! That oughta do it.

[melancholic music playing]

-Should we say a few words?
-Sure.

Shoelace, mailbox,
slingshot, octopus, bagel, lipstick…

Can we just bury the earthworm already?

[squeaking]

Ah! Nothing like the taste of fresh soil.

[both gasp]

He's alive!

Thanks, Cuphead and Mugman.
You really helped a worm out.

So long, fellas!

It's a miracle!

Let's tell Elder Kettle the good news!

Elder Kettle! Whoa!

-Wait!
-Hey, what gives?

You almost tripped on something.

Piano wire?

-Huh.
-And is that…

a tiger trap in the living room?

And look!

Did someone grease the stairs?

[Mugman] This whole room is booby-trapped.

What is all this?

[sinister] Like what you see, boys?

-Is that you?
-Elder Kettle?

That's right!

And guess what?

You'll never take me ali--

Wh-Wh-Whoa!

[grunts, yells]

Ooh!

[groans]

[wearily] I'm okay.
Still got the upper hand.

Uh-oh.

-[arrows land]
-Ow!

Oh, boy! That really smarts!

[clang]

Ow! My leg!

-[crash]
-My other leg!

-[clatter]
-Ow!

[expl*si*n]

["The Flower Duet" by Léo Delibes playing]

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

[screams]

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

[grunts]

I'm still okay.

[thud]

Elder Kettle! Elder Kettle!

Please! Please don't k*ll me.

What are you talking about?

I heard what you said.

I'm dirty and old and weak,

and you're gonna put me out of my misery

and bury me in the backyard!

-What?!
-No!

We weren't talking about you.

We were taking care of our pet worm.

[splutters]

A worm?!

So you weren't trying to k*ll me?

k*ll you?

You're our Elder Kettle.

We love you.

Aw!

I love you boys too.

To imagine that I thought
that you two were gonna k*ll--

-Wh-wh-whoa!
-[thud]

[Elder Kettle groans]

Yikes. He's not looking so hot.

I guess we could bury him in the backyard.

I'll get the shovels.

[closing theme music playing]