01x07 - King Ramses' Curse/The Clutching Foot

[bunniefuu]

We interrupt this program
to bring you...

Courage the Cowardly Dog Show.

Starring Courage,
the Cowardly Dog.

Abandoned as a pup,
he was found by Muriel,

who lives in
the middle of Nowhere

with her husband,
Eustace Bagge.

But creepy stuff happens
in Nowhere.

It's up to Courage
to save his new home.

Stupid dog.

You made me
look bad.

- Ooga Boogga Boogga!
- Aahhh!

[car running]

[Helicopter whirring]

Faster!
Drive faster!

If they catch us with it,
we're done for.

[brakes squealing]

CAT:
What are you doing?

SECOND CAT:
You're right.

We got to hide
the thing

where we can find it
later.

There,
the water pump.

[Helicopter whirring]

[Helicopter whirring]

We'll come back for it
when the heat's off.

And we'll be rich.

Hey!

What happened to
the road?

EERIE VOICE: Return the
slab or suffer my curse.

Curse?

What curse?

[buzzing]

Aah!

[Helicopter whirring]

What's going
on out there?

Huh?

[knock on door]

Why, what's this now?

Oh, my,
this looks very old.

Eustace?

Huh?

Come look what
Courage found.

What do you suppose
it could be?

Well, judging by
the markings

and the obvious age
of the relic,

I'd have to say
it would be garbage!

Eustace!

Garbage from King Garbage
of the Garbage Dynasty.

Stupid dog. Always bringing
garbage into the house.

TELEVISION ANNOUNCER:
But the big story today...

Million-dollar slab stolen
from the Tomb of King Ramses.

Eh?

I'm rich!

But the man says
it was stolen, Eustace.

We must return it
to its rightful place.

He said
a million-dollar slab,

and that means I get
a million dollars.

And you know what
a million dollars means.

Ooh!

That's right!
New lawn chairs.

[babbling]

Nowhere News?
I want to put an ad in the paper.

Yes, sir.

You start running
that ad right away.

[knock on door]

What's your offer?

I am Professor Frith
of the Institute of the Pharaoh.

I've come to retrieve
the slab.

You see, Eustace,
I told you it was stolen.

[babbling]

Ha ha ha!
What's your offer?

Sir, the Institute for the Pharaoh is
member supported.

But for every
million-dollar donation,

you'll receive
this sporty tote bag

with our thanks.

[door slams]

Eustace, we really should
give it back, you know.

Uh-uh.
Finders keepers.

Rich, rich,
rich, rich, rich.

Fly swatter,
spark plugs,

shovel handle,
razor blade,

light bulb
for the attic.

[door knob rattling]

Oh!

Return the slab.

What?

Return the slab

or suffer my curse.

What's your offer?

This night, you will be visited
by 3 plagues,

each worse than the last.

Return the slab.

Hah! Nice try,
Professor.

Who's he kidding?

I can see the zipper on that
cheap dime store costume.

Oh!

Huh?

Huh?

Courage, did you leave
the tub running?

Oh! Eee! Ooh!

[screaming]

Eustace? Hold on.
Where's Eustace?

[gasping]

[gasping]

Oh, come on.

Ahh.

Return the slab.

What's your offer?

What's your--huh?

[music blaring]

Oh!

Courage, make it stop.

Whew.

GHOST:
Return the slab.

Oh! Eustace, what are
you waiting for?

Till we're 6 feet under?

All right, but a million's
as low as I'll go.

[buzzing]

Aah!

Return the slab.

MURIEL:
Aah!

Return the slab.

Let go!

Return the slab.

Aah!

Ok, ok,
you can have it!

Ahh.

Whew! Oh!

No! I can't believe
I did that.

It's mine... Eh?

That's 3 plagues.
You're out of a*mo, mister.

Heh heh heh heh.

And don't think you
can come around here

pushing no tote bags
on us, neither.

What's your offer?

Return the slab.

Aah!

At last, the allegedly
cursed slab

has been returned
to King Ramses' crypt,

where it will remain buried
in antiquity for all time.

Oh, I wonder
where Eustace is.

EUSTACE:
Aah!

What's your offer?

S' Ramses... S'

[snoring]

[Eustace muttering]

Wool socks.

Wool socks!

Y ah'. Y ah'. Y ah'. Y ah'.!

Wool socks!

You stupid dog!

What are you doing
itching my foot?

[babbling]

Eustace?
Eustace.

Is there
something wrong?

My foot. My foot!

Oh!

Ew!

Looks like
you've got a fungus.

Don't worry,
Eustace.

I know some
family remedies.

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Huh?

Aah!

[muttering]

Aah!

Oh, dear.

There's just
one thing left to do.

Ain't goin'
to no doctor.

You really should,
Eustace.

L ain't going!

It's as big
as a cow.

You have to go.

Make me!

Ah, suit yourself.

But I think it's
starting to fester.

All I need is a nap.

Ew!

[snoring]

That's all I needed...A nap.

I feel like
a million bucks!

Yep! Nap did the trick.
Foot feels fine.

Aah!

Aah!

Ooh!

I'm the big toe, see?

Yeah, see?

And what I say goes, see?

Got me?

Yeah, got it, boss.

See what?
See what?

See this!

Ooh! Ooh! Ow!

Ooh. Aah!

Where's my Eustace?

What have you done
with my Eustace?

Shut up, fat woman.

You won't be needing
your husband anymore, see?

So, listen up.

Yeah, listen up.

Yeah, listen up.

We're going to pull
a heist, see?

Yeah, a heist.

It's Sunday,
and the banks are closed.

So, we knock over
a bank, see?

Oh, no! Gangsters!

Muriel, get away!

You can't do that.

It's against the law.

Aah!

Ow!

Ok, dog.
It's like this.

You drive us
to the bank

or the fat lady
gets it, see?

Yeah,
or the fat lady gets it.

Yeah,
the fat lady gets it.

I knew I should have
learned how to drive a stick.

Ok, dog, now you
break into the bank

and you bring us
all the dough, see?

NOW, see?

Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

Get going
or we'll put the squeeze

on the fat lady,
see?

MURIEL:
Aah! Ooh.

Ow!

Aah!

Yipes!

[ice cubes screaming]

I don't know why I thought
that would work.

Oh! Oh! Oh!

COURAGE:
Uh-oh.

Aah!

Oh!

Courage, you're
all right.

Dumb dog, you blew up
the money.

Quick, dog,
get us out of here.

Ok, I got
another plan, see?

Yeah, another plan.

Ok, you stand still, see,

and you make sure
the train stops.

Huh?

Or the fat lady
gets it.

Yeah,
the fat lady gets it.

Yeah, the fat lady
gets it.

Aah! Ooh.

Ooh!

Ooh!

Yeah!

You dumb dog, you made
me kick too hard, see?

Uh-oh!

I've been thinking
too small, see?

So now we're going
to pull a big job.

A real big job.

We're going to knock over
Florida, see?

Yeah, Florida.

Yeah, Florida.

Where's Florida?

But knocking over Florida
is against the law, I think.

Not me--the farmer!
His foot!

Oh!

FUNGUS: Tampa, Fort Lauderdale,
Saint Pete, Miami.

Not Boca.
They can keep Boca.

I hate Boca.

COMPUTER:
Dog spit.

Oh!

Then the brass ring,
the pot of gold,

the big bazooly,
the Burt Reynolds dinner theatre.

I just know this
is going to leave

a bad taste
in my mouth.

MURIEL:
Ow!

Yuck! Yuck! Stop it.

Yeah, see? Yeah, see?

Ha ha ha!

Yeah, yeah!
Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ah. Wool socks.

Ooh.

Ah!

Oh, thank you, Courage.

I thought I was
going to be squished.

Plack! Ptooie!

FUNGUS, MUFFLED:
A big heist, see? Yeah, see?

Yeah, big heist, see?

Ok, listen up.
Here's the plan, see?

Ok, dog.
It's like this...

Or the fat lady
gets it, see?

EUSTACE:
Stupid dog!