02x02 - Charmed & Dangerous

[bunniefuu]

Looks like it worked.

Yeah, he's charmed all right.

So charming!

But you two will never
charm your way into my cookie jar!

Aww!

We've been doing that dumb dance
Chalice taught us for weeks,

and it hasn't worked once.

I tell ya, Cuphead,
she was messing with us.

No way! Chalice wouldn't do that.

We know nothing about her,

except she abandoned us
and then never came to visit us in prison.

See, that's two things
we know about her already.

I really thought
she was gonna be our friend.

It was nice not being on our own.

Hey, Chalice is a great friend.

Well, if she's so great, how come
we never heard from her again, hmm?

Ooh, maybe that's
your dear friend Chalice now.

Hey, it's me, Chalice!

Chalice!

Shh! Keep it down, will ya?

I'm being chased by an angry mob.

Angry mob!

Yep, an angry mob.

All those chumps who gave me free stuff?

Well, they started to catch on
that I was scamming 'em.

Apparently, they got a problem with that.

So I thought I could stay here,
since we had such a great time last time.

-Some great time!

You ditched us! Whammo, you're gone!

And we wind up at the big house.

The big house?

Gee, I had no idea.

Gosh, fellas, I'm sorry
I got you tossed in the hoosegow.

"Sorry" won't bring us back
so many cold, cold nights in the slammer.

The crowbar hotel.

The pokey.

The clink.

The stony lonesome.

The convict condo!

The zoo for criminals.

The ol' hooba-dooba.

Yeah! The old… hooba-dooba?

The old hooba-dooba?

That's not even a thing!

Well, if you never heard of it,
that's your problem.

-Hmm!
-Hmm!

Okay, okay. The point is,

you two knocked yourselves out,
cops stormed in,

and I was lucky to get away.
Cookies were pretty good though, huh?

-She's got us there.
-I do like cookies.

So what'll it be, boys?

Can your old pal Chalice stick around?

Or am I gonna be out on my own,
running from an angry mob?

Angry mob?

Uh-oh.

That's where this kettle draws the line.

I want you out of here
this instant, missy!

Wait! Did I mention, uh, this?

Oh!

How-- How delightfully charming.

Of course you can hide here
from your mob, Ms. Chalice.

Oh! And here, have a cookie.

What a delight!

How does she do that?

I don't know.

So, what do you two
do for fun around here?

Yeah!

-Yeah! Whoo!

-Yeah!

All right, all right.

I see exactly
where this is going. Nowheres.

Come on, fellas, huddle up.

Now, we can stay here
at the boring old cottage,

or we can go out
into the real world and live.

What do you say?

-We're in.

Swell. There's a dance contest downtown.

I entered us in it earlier.

While you were running from the mob?

That's right. But it's too far to walk.

We're gonna need a ride.

Well, any other ideas?

But that's Elder Kettle's truck.

Yeah, we're not allowed to drive it.

Ha! Nobody said anything
about you two driving.

Wait, what?

-Whoo!

Lookie there!

-Hi!

Whoa!

Oh no!

That was swell! I usually charm
my way into first place alone,

but we did that one together.

It's kinda nice not being on my own,
and we could do it all again tomorrow.

And the next day,
and the next day, and the next day too.

See, Mugsy? Chalice is a great friend.

Now, aren't you glad
we let her hide here from the angry mob?

Angry mob? Hmm.

Hey! What gives?

Cuphead, I'm starting
to wonder if there ever was an angry mob.

You calling Chalice a liar?

Think about it.
We've been out all day.

She isn't hiding from anybody.

-Okay.

I admit it. I lied.

The truth is, I…
I like not being on my own.

I just wanted to hang out
with you two porcelain dum-dums again.

Wait, so you're saying
that you really did miss us?

-That's right, ding-dongs.

Who could that be?

Oh, I don't know.
Maybe that's your angry mob now.

Give us Chalice!
Give us Chalice! Give us--

Chalice, it's for you.

So the angry mob is real?

Remember when I said
I was lying about the angry mob?

Well, the funny thing is, I was lying
about lying about the angry mob.

We're still friends,
though, right?

-Right?

Guys, guys!

Shh!

Oh, sorry! Sorry. Let's go outside.

You were saying?

Step aside, boys, we don't want you.

We just want the chalice.

-Give us Chalice!

Give us Chalice! Give us Chalice!

Being the three ding-dongs
was fun while it lasted.

But it looks like I'm on my own again.

On your own?

-Now listen here!

Ahem. I know all of you are angry.

You're an angry mob, it's in your name.

-That's exactly right!

And it's true, Chalice is a lying,
grifting, friend-abandoning thief who--

Okay! Mugman, everybody! Give him a hand!

Not finished!

But did her dancing not bring you joy?

And isn't that joy worth the cost
of an eensy-weensy, little bit of money?

No!

Nice try, Mugsy,
but looks like they're not buying it.

Any ideas, Chalice?

Chalice?

She ghosted again!

Hey! His heartfelt speech
was just a distraction

so that she could get away!

Wait! We did come all this way.

You want to just b*at them up?

Been nice knowing you, pal!

Hey, my club!

-Ahem. Yoo-hoo!

Hiya, fellas!

You're a g-g-g-g-g…

A g-g-g-g-ghost? That's right!

Anyway, I gotta lay low for a while,
but we'll hang out again soon. Promise!

Oh, and, uh, fellas?

Yeah?

Boo.