02x06 - The I Scream Man

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Cuphead Show!" Aired: February 18, 2022 –; present.*
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Following the misadventures of loveable Cuphead and his cautious but easily-swayed brother Mugman as they scour the Inkwell Isles in search of fun and adventure.
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02x06 - The I Scream Man

Post by bunniefuu »

-Oh! Sick as a dog.

I'm afraid you're going to have
to miss out on our errands today.

Oh no! Maybe I could just…

Easy, buddy.

Rest up now.

We'll be back before you know it.

Poor Mugman, he loves errands.

Errands are pretty great.

Maybe we could save
just one errand for Mugman.

Hmm.

Nah!

Errands!

Whoo!

Oh, how I love errands.

But sometimes one must go to extremes
to do the things one wishes to do.

At last, peace and quiet.

Now I can finally enjoy my book.

"The majestic pirate ship
sailed across the open sea,

led by the heart of a mighty hero."

"A hero so fearlessly bold,
clever, and dangerous,

but also quite handsome."

"The great Captain Mugbeard."

"He was a legendary pirate
with a crew of miscreants."

Rest up, ye mateys, for tomorrow,
we slay the dreaded sea beast!

Argh! Slay the beast! Argh!

Argh!

Argh!

-Argh!
-Argh!

-Argh!
-Argh!

Argh!

All right, enough already, go to bed.

Jeez, all that argh-ing
is really hard on the throat.

"Mugbeard dared to slip away
that night for a mysterious rendezvous."

"Normally, he included his crew
in all of his exploits."

"But lately, he had become
involved in something

they could never understand."

Oh sea beast, your eyes are glowing stars.

Your voice, a symphony.

And your hair…

Well, let's face it,
your hair is a dead octopus.

Oh, Mugbeard, you are poet.

Now kiss me, you fool.

What? What is that?

Excuse me.

Excuse me!

Excuse me!

Uh, excuse me?

Well, hey there.

Would you like to hear
the flavor of the day?

-Uh, no, I--
-It's different every day!

No, no. Look, I--

But you don't even know
what the flavor of the day is!

And I don't care what it is.

Look, I know you only bring joy
and delicious treats, but, uh…

Are you aware your hat is on crooked?

-Yep! Just like the way I like it!

So, now would you like
to hear the flavor of the day?

No! Listen, your music,
would you turn it off, please?

It is off.

Oh. So it is.
Well, in that case, can I get a fudge pop?

Ah!

Okay, back to the story.

What the…

Hey!

Would you like to hear
the flavor of the day?

No! You were just here!

Oh! I thought you looked familiar.

Sorry!

Ah. Now, where were we?

Ah, burning passion,
dead octopus, yadda, yadda, yadda.

The kiss, the kiss! Let's get to the kiss.

Excuse me!

Sorry, we're closed.
It's my lunch hour.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Turn off the music and fix that hat!

But why?

I only bring joy and delicious treats!

Whoa, whoa!
Put down the cone, buddy.

This ends now!

Sprinkles!

I'm sorry, buddy, I had to do it.

You were acting all crazy.

Now, about the flavor of the day.

Stop! I have had it
with your flavor of the day.

-And your music! And your face!

And your stupid crooked hat!

Turn off the music,
fix that hat, and get out of here!

Hmm!

Was that too mean?

No. Sometimes one must go to extremes
to do the things one wishes to do.

Now, how about that kiss, baby?

No. I refuse your kiss.

But-- But it's in the story.
Uh, we're supposed to kiss!

I cannot be with someone
so very cruel to the Ice Cream Man!

Uh, but…

Goodbye, Mugbeard.

No, no…

No!

I have to apologize to the Ice Cream Man.

Ice Cream Man! Come back!

Ice Cream Man!

Ice Cream Man?

Ice Cream Man?

Ice Cream Man?

Oh, Ice Cream Man.

Ice Cream Man?

I'm sorry I was so very cruel!

-Sorry, what'd you say?

I just love ice cream truck music
playing at full blast.

It's all I listen to.

Oh. I-- I thought
you were my Ice Cream Man.

Nope. Sorry.

Ice Cream Man!

I found you!

Oh!

It's over.

Please don't hurt me, Ice Cream Man.

Hurt you?

I'm here to

thank you!

Thank me?

For the inspiration. See?

I got a new hat.

It's the same as the old one,
still at a jaunty angle,

but slightly smaller.

That is why you were chasing me?

To tell me
about your slightly smaller hat?

Oh, hey! I've read that book.

Mugbeard dies in the end.

That's a good one!

He dies.

-And fix the hat!

Fix the hat! Fix the hat!

Gee. Was it something I said?

Well, looks like someone's feeling better.
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