02x02 - The Curse of Shirley/Courage in the Big Stinkin' City

[bunniefuu]

We interrupt this program to bring you
Courage the Cowardly Dag Show.

Starring Courage the Cowardly Dog.

[SHADOW GROWLS
THEN COURAGE SCREAMS]

Abandoned as a pup...

...he was found by Muriel,
who lives in the middle of Nowhere...

...with her husband, Eustace Bagge.

[GRUNTS]

ANNOUNCER'.
But creepy stuff happens in Nowhere.

It's up to Courage to save his new home.

[SCREAMING]

Stupid dag! You made me lack bad.

[EUSTACE YELLING
THEN COURAGE SCREAMING]

Oh, Eustace, aren't you excited
about your birthday party?

Eh...

[INHALING DEEPLY]

[INHALING DEEPLY]

[INHALING DEEPLY]

Ain't gonna be no party.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

A visitor.

Yes?

Any small change to help a pour soul?

Oh, of course. Just a moment.

Oh!

Here's a little something, dear.

And you must be hungry.

I just baked it this morning.

Oh, and that would go lovely
with a cup of tea.

Haw about you, dag?

[GRUNTING]

Thank you for your kindness.

What about the bald one?

Yes, Eustace.
You must have something to give.

Yeah, I gut something to give. The boat!

[EUSTACE LAUGHING]

[PLAYING]

[COURAGE WHIMPERS]

Upon your shiny head, a curse

Huh?

[PLAYING]

Long as your soul lives in your purse

[PLAYING]

And with your coins you cannot part

[PLAYING]

Your sky shall be dark as your heart

[BLASTS SAXOPHONE]

Gobbledy-gook.

Ain't no such thing as curses.

And there ain't no such thing
as parties neither.

Oh. "W"

[HUMMING]

Eustace, where are you going?

Ta the picture show.

Eustace, the curse.

There ain't no curse.

Why don't you stay and help with the party?

I ain't helping with no party
because there ain't gonna be no party.

[SAXOPHON E PLAYS]

Oh. "W"

Do you mind removing your cloud?

[GRUMBLING INDISTINCTLY]

Then maybe you could move over a seat
so we could see the screen.

Make me!

He's getting my popcorn saggy.

I'm complaining to the manager.

[EUSTACE YELLS THEN CRASHES]

[GROANS]

How's that, Courage?

Mm-hm.

[CAR HORNS HONKING]

Oh!

Excuse me, sir...

...but would you please help me
across the street?

You got legs, don't you? Help yourself.

[GRUMBLING INDISTINCTLY]

MURIEL:
Dc you think Eustace will like it?

[MONSTER SNARLING]

[MAN YELLING]

Mister, mister, please!

Could you please send this to my fiancee?

Tell her I'm sorry,
but I'll have to miss our wedding.

Please just buy a stamp for it.

Tell her I love her.

I ain't buying any stamps.

[MONSTER SQU EALS]

[GRUMBLING INDISTINCTLY]

[MONSTER BELCHES]

[MUMBLING]

There ain't no curse.

Curse...

Eustace.
- Huh?

The bed's getting saggy.

If you can't do away with this curse,
you're gonna have to sleep on the roof.

Bah!

Ain't no such thing as curses.

Na way, no haw.

Oh!

He)'. my glasses!

Oh!

L-- I can't see.

Where? Where?

Muriel, is that you?

You're not Muriel.

Get off my roof.

I don't know who you are. Huh?

Huh?

[GROWLS]

Na solicitors.

[BOTH YELLING]

New you get! We don't want any!

[COURAGE SCREAMS]

[CHANNELS CHANGING]

[DOOR OPENS
THEN SLAMS SHUT]

[COURAGE YELLING INDISTINCTLY]

Oh, Courage, I couldn't sleep
knowing Eustace is on the roof.

But there's something wrong
with the reception.

Goad to see you.

Yuck.

[COURAGE SNIFFING]

Rain or no rain...

...that man should really come
to his own birthday party.

Eustace, get dawn here this instant.

Eustace, did you hear me?

What are you doing up there?

Huh?

Your guests are waiting.

Na solicitors. Especially at this hour.

You want a piece of me?
You want a piece of me?

[ROARING]

[YELLS]

[CLANGING]

[EUSTACE GRUNTS]

[GUESTS SCREAMING]

Oh, my. New see what you went
and dune, Eustace.

- You scared off your guests.
-Huh'?

And you're leaving a ring an the flour.

Here, stand an this coaster.

You can't foal me.

[ROARS]

Who? You're not Muriel!

[ROARS]

[COURAGE SCREAMS]

One, two, three. I win!

[SCREAMING]

[EUSTACE GRUNTS]

[COURAGE SCREAMS]

[WHINNES]

[PLAYING SAXOPHONE]

[YELLING]

[COURAGE SPEAKING GIBBERISH]

The stupid one. He's stupid, right?

Mm-hm.

There is nothing I can do.

The farmer has to remove the curse
by finding generosity in his heart.

And he can only do that
by seeing himself the way he really is.

[WHIMPERS]

But I feel sorry for you.

Far a few pieces of silver,
I could sell you this mirror.

All you have to do
is hold it up to the stupid one.

You want a piece of me?

You want a piece of me?

Eustace, where are your marbles?

Courage!

[GRUNTING]

Help!

[MUFFLED SHOUTS]

Na solicitors.

What's this?

Who's that?

Who are you, bay?

It's so hat. My head is burning.

Where's your hat?

I don't have one.

Na hat?

Oh, no hat. That's not right.
A little bay should have a hat.

Oh, Courage, you did the impossible.

[MIRROR CRASHING]

You gut Eustace to give of himself.

[SNEEZING]

[LAUGHS]

My glasses. I can see.

[SNEEZING]

[SNIFFING]

[MURIEL HUMMING]

[EUSTACE GRUMBLING]

You know, Eustace, you should thank Courage
for getting rid of that curse.

What you doing with my hat, dag?

[GRUMBLES]

[SCOFFS]

There ain't no such thing as a curse.

Ehh!

[WHOOPING AND g*nf*re ON TV]

[COURAGE SNORING]

Ehh! Ain't nothing an.
Nothing to watch. Nothing.

Oh, my! I've wan! I've wan!

I've wan the sitar contest.

I get to play my sitar onstage
at Radio City Music Hall.

- Yes!
-Who cares'?

There ain't nothing to watch.

Bays, we're going to New York City.

MAN:
Taxi!

[COURAGE WHIMPERING]

This ain't no place for me.
I belong in my chair.

[EUSTACE GRUNTS]

- Hey!
- Watch where you're going, you foal!

Watch where you're going, you foal!

You see, Eustace. You're fitting in already.

New, I wander where the entrance is.

Hmm.

[WHIMPERING]

Psst, psst.

[GASPS]

The show don't go on for hours,
but I can get you in real quick-like.

[SCREAMING]

There it is!

- Now, aren't you glad I won the contest?
-Who cares'?

You wan a contest?

Then you can came in
the special artists' entrance.

Na!

I ain't going through no dour
I don't know what's an the other side.

I gut hat dogs.

Works for me.

[COURAGE WHIMPERING]

Haw exciting.

I lave show business.

By the way, name's Bushwick.
But call me Shwick.

Just Shwick. Don't ever call me Bushwick.
Just Shwick.

Where are you from?

Bushwick.
You can call that Bushwick, but not me.

Me, you call Shwick. Just Shwick.

[WHIMPERING]

[MURIEL SCREAMS]

[COURAGE SCREAMS]

This aver here is the rehearsal roam.

[WHIMPERING]

Such a warm welcome.

Homey.

Where's the hat dogs?

Sc this here's the rehearsal roam.

You can rehearse. Just rehearse.

This is just fine.

If you're dead.

Hey, a TV!

You gut a remote?

Two thousand channels.
Ga ahead. Knack yourself out.

[CHANNELS CHANGING]

Make that hat dag a fact-lung.

I'd better get ta practicing
for the big show tonight.

[PLAYING SITAR]

Listen, I gut an errand
that needs some running.

And I can't leave the premises
because I gut sweeping to do.

Ga to that address.

There'll be a package waiting there.

You bring that package back to me
by curtain time...

...or it's curtains for the sitar lady.

[WHIMPERS]

You see that dour?

You wanna know what's behind that dour?

You don't wanna know
what's behind that door.

You see these bones?

You wanna know what made these bones?

You don't wanna know
what made these bones.

I'm sending your kid out
for some coffee. Ga!

And no caps.

MAN:
Need some help?

[SCREAMING]

Hmm...

[WHINNIES]

[COURAGE YELLING]

[GRUNTING]

[WHIMPERING]

[MAN YELLING INDISTINCTLY]

[ROARS]

[SCREAMING]

[PANTING]

[GROWLS]

[SCREAMING]

I just know something bad
is going to happen.

[WHIMPERS]

[PLAYING VIOLIN]

Huh?

[SlGHS]

[ROARS]

[SCREAMING]

[COURAGE WHINING]

Things I do for lave.

[HORSE WHINNIES]

Hmm...

[GASPS]

[GULPS]

COURAGE: Gulp!
- Hmm...

[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]

Hmm...

[WHISTLING]

[BARKING]

[SlGHS]

[GASPS]

- Briefs.
-Boxers.

- Briefs.
-Boxers.

- Briefs!
-Boxers!

[WHISTLES]

[GRUNTING]

[GASPS]

It's the evil package!

[SCREAMING]

OFFICER:
Okay, let's see your license and registration.

[STAMMERING]

Hmm...

There's no driver.

Runaway train!

[SlGHS]

[CRASHING]

[WHIMPERS]

Runaway train!

Runaway train!

COMPUTER: Welcome to the nuclear-powered,
computerized b*llet train.

[GASPING]

- Sit back, relax and-
COMPUTER 2'. Hang on for your life!

[SCREAMING]

[PLAYING]

BUG: When you're right, you're right.
Yours are longer.

Told you so.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

WOMAN:
Five minutes to show time.

Your sun better be back here scan
with my coffee.

[RUMBLING]

[COURAGE YELLING]

You can always trust my Courage
ta get the jab dune.

MAN [OVER PA]:
Radio City Music Hall. Last stop.

[COURAGE WHIMPERS]

Courage, you made it back just in time
for my performance.

You bent my squeegee.

New it's curtains for the sitar lady.

Nobody double-crosses Shwick.

MURIEL:
Oh!

[AUDIENCE CHEERING]

[PLAYING SITAR]

[SCREAMS]

I said, no caps.

[AUDIENCE OOHING AND APPLAUDING]

Lacks like we finally gut you, Bushwick.

BUG:
Shwick! Shwick! It's just Shwick!

[AUDIENCE CHEERING]

Two thousand channels
and still nothing to watch.

[MUTTERING]

[MONSTER BELCHES]

EUSTACE:
Stupid dag!