02x05 - Human Habitrail/Mission to the Sun

[bunniefuu]

We interrupt this program to bring you
Courage the Cowardly Dog Show.

Starring Courage the Cowardly Dog.

[SHADOW GROWLS
THEN COURAGE SCREAMS]

Abandoned as a pup...

...he was found by Muriel,
who lives in the middle of Nowhere...

...with her husband, Eustace Bagge.

[GRUNTS]

ANNOUNCER'.
But creepy stuff happens in Nowhere.

It's up to Courage to save his new home.

[SCREAMING]

Stupid dog! You made me luck bad.

[EUSTACE YELLING
THEN COURAGE SCREAMING]

[MURIEL HUMMING]

Huh?

[SLURPS]

[GASPS]

Needs salt.

[COUGHING]

Eustace, if you'd get me a vacuum cleaner,
we wouldn't have all this dust.

We don't need no vacuum.
You just ain't sweeping right.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

- I have got the answer to your workaday woes.
-You do'?

Allow me the honor, sir,
of cleaning your soup.

My soup's fine. Go away.

Nat bad. Still needs salt, though.

Allow meta ask you a few questions...

...ta help fix you up
with the perfect vacuum for your needs.

- Da you have mold allergies?
- Well, usually, I--

If two trains leave Chicago at 9 a.m.,
do you snare?

Have itchy eyes?

[GASPS]

- Mister--
- Actually, it's "doctor."

Dr. Gerbil. But my friends call me Lulu Mae.

Dr. Gerbil, if you don't mind me asking,
these questions, I mean-f?

What in blazes
are you asking all this junk for?

Science, my friends. It's science.

New, are you all alone here...

...and far from police
or other law-enforcement officials?

Okay, new,
according to my careful figuring...

...this here beauty
is the vacuum-cleaning machine for you.

WOMAN:
Help! Help!

[KNOCKING]

Get me out of here! Hey!

Hey! ls anybody out there? Help!

[BARKING]

Think a moment and give a listen
to haw smooth this machine sounds.

Madam, this fine machine is all yours.

Oh. "W"

I'm so happy, I could clean.

Don't worry, I've gut it all under central.

- Everything's gonna be fine now.
- Huh?

GERBIL: Are you feeling relaxed?
- Oh, yes.

Goad. New, them...

[SCREAMING]

You're free now. Finally free.

[MURIEL COUGHING]

Oh. "W"

Haw do we get out of here?

Let me lay the ground rules for you.

This is my half of the lint.
That's your half of the lint.

Remember that,
and we won't have no trouble.

[COU RAG E GASPS]

[COURAGE PANTING]

The things I do for lave.

[COURAGE SCREAMING]

[COURAGE THUDS THEN GRUNTS]

[MOANING]

[CACKLING]

MURIEL:
Hey, can anyone hear me? Courage?

[ALL GRUNT]

WOMAN:
It's my lint. You don't touch my lint.

It's mine, all mine.

[ELECTRICITY CRACKLES
AND GERBIL CACKLES]

- Oh, my.
- This is where they get you.

[MURIEL SCREAMS]

I've seen worse makeovers an TV.

Yes, y'all seem like mighty fine subjects.

I'm gonna experiment on you
with some of my newest products.

You know, get the bugs out.

Gonna be fun.

[GERBIL CACKLING]

[SCREAMS]

What's the matter with you?

Haven't you ever seen a lady before?

[GASPS]

[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]

They're doing terrible things aver there.

Terrible.

But they ain't getting my lint.

CHILDREN [SINGING ON RECORDING]:
It's Doc Gerbil's world

It's Doc Gerbil's world

It's Doc Gerbil's world

It's Doc Gerbil's world

It's Doc Gerbil's world

[MURIEL YELLING]

[EUSTACE YELLING]

Tan much fiber.

[FEET POP]

I'm getting closer.

CHILDREN [SINGING ON RECORDING]:
It's Doc Gerbil's world

[EUSTACE SCREAMING AND GRUNTING]

[BOTH GASP]

Oh. "W"

CHILDREN [SINGING ON RECORDING]:
It's Doc Gerbil's world

[YELLING AND GRUNTING]

Ooh!

CHILDREN [SINGING ON RECORDING]:
It's Doc Gerbil's world

It's Doc Gerbil's world

It's Doc Gerbil's-

[BOTH SCREAMING]

EUSTACE:
Na!

CHILDREN [SINGING ON RECORDING]:
- Doc Gerbil's world

It's Doc Gerbil's world

[GRUNTS]

It's Doc Gerbil's world

It's Doc Gerbil's world

It's Doc Gerbil's world

[GRUNTS]

It's Doc Gerbil's world

It's Doc Gerbil's world

[EUSTANCE AND MURIEL SCREAMING]

I'll be back scan.

New, don't you be getting tan frisky, hear?

Oh, Courage, so good to see you.

[COURAGE BARKING]

Can't you see I'm busy? Stupid dog.

Shh.

He'!-

[SCREAMS]

CHILDREN [SINGING ON RECORDING]:
It's Doc Gerbil's world

It's Doc Gerbil's world

It's Doc Gerbil's world

It's Doc Gerbil's world

It's Doc Gerbil's world

It's Doc Gerbil's world

[SCREAMING]

It's Doc Gerbil's world

It's Doc Gerbil's world

It's Doc Gerbil's world

[GASPS]

[GASPS]

[SCREAMING]

[CACKLING]

[BOTH GRUNT]

Courage, you saved us again.

- You're a wonder, you are.
-Mm-hm.

WOMAN: It's my lint.
- What's--? Huh?

You don't touch my lint. It's mine, all mine.

[LAUGHING]

CHILDREN [SINGING ON RECORDING]:
It's Doc Gerbil's world

[MURIEL HUMMING]

Oh, Courage, you gut the mail.

It's an offer for a time-share.

All we have to do is take a little trip.

[SNORING]

[C Rows]

COMPUTERIZED VOICE:
Okay, naptime is over, you twits.

[SNORING]

[YELLS, THUDS THEN GRUNTS]

Hey, what did Ida?

Darn this racket.
Can't get any picture an the TV.

COMPUTERIZED VOICE:
The following information is classified...

...not to mention vital to the security
and future of the human race.

- Thank you.
- Blah, blah, blah.

I think the man with the shiny buttons
has something important ta tell us.

[CLEARS TH ROAT]

[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]

- H u h ?
- And Godspeed.

Oh. "W"

Haw do you change the channel
an this thing?

COMPUTERIZED VOICE: Don't you dolts
speak English? The sun is about to go out.

You have to fix it.

Everything you need
is in that briefcase over there.

Seems like a lat of trouble to go through
for a time-share.

That's haw they get you.
Gotta read the fine print.

COMPUTERIZED VOICE: If you don't fix the sun,
it'll glow bright red, then it goes out.

[GASPS]

Big deal.

Well, if someone's going to fix the sun,
it might as well be us, I suppose.

Everyone, just shut up.

COMPUTERIZED VOICE: So do get the sun fixed
before the clock hits zero, you twits.

COMPUTERIZED VOICE: No, no, you
space monkey. Press shift and then enter.

Ha, ha. I get them with that every time.

Uh...

[GRUMBLING]

Oh, what the-f?

[YELLS]

[ALARM BEEPING]

[HUMMING]

COMPUTERIZED VOICE:
Okay, rocket boy...

"double-click the icon
that looks like a little doggy.

Ha. You are gullible.

Hey, give me back my hat.

Lousy space toilet.

MURIEL:
What a filthy spaceship this is.

[LAUGHS]

MURIEL:
Och!

Oh, Eustace, you space thing, you.

[ensues]

[EUSTACE GRUNTS]

[LAUGHING]

Lousy, stinking tube fond.

Hey, not bad.

[MOANING]

- Birds.
- Ahh, you're seeing things.

More turkey in a tube.

Halifax.

[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]

Mamba time.

What-f? Huh?

[GASPS]

[SCREAMING]

- Hey, what did you do that for?
- I don't know.

Muriel! Hear what I say?

Aah! Ow!

[EUSTACE GRUNTING]

[LAUGHING]

[EUSTACE YELLING]

[5055]

[mes LING]

[SCREAMS]

Came an, came an. Set it off.

I think I could use a wee nap.

[SCREAMING]

COMPUTERIZED VOICE:
Of course Muriel is acting weird.

She's locked in a tin can with you, isn't she?
Ha!

[SNORING]

[LAUGHING]

[GROWLING]

COMPUTERIZED VOICE: Okay, okay,
I know exactly what's wrong with Muriel...

...and how you can save her and the sun
from going out all at once.

All you have to do is...

[COMPUTERIZED VOICE
SPEAKING IN GARBLED VOICE]

[GASPS]

[SCREAMS]

What do I do? What do I do?

[GASPS]

[GRUNTING]

[CACKLING]

[SCREAMS]

EUSTACE:
Stupid space.

[IN MUSTAFA'S VOICE]
My name is Mustafa Al Bacterius.

I am inside the brain of Muriel.

I have came a great distance
ta sabotage your mission.

You humans are not satisfied
messing with your awn planet.

You feel the need to mess with space also.

Well, if the sun wants ta fizzle, let it.
We like it dark.

Sc get a flashlight and some D cells...

"because it's lights out, space clowns.

[COURAGE WHIMPERS]

[LAUGHING]

[GASPS]

[MURIEL GRUNTING]

[GRUNTS]

[BOTH GRUNTING]

[MUSTAFA CACKLING]

[BOTH GRUNTING]

MUSTAFA: This dog is a terrible person.
Luck what he did. Luck what he--

[SCREAMING]

Oh. "W"

Oh, no.

Oh. Och.

Oh. "W"

[GASPING]

Yes!

Haw are we ever going to get out of here?

EUSTACE:
Yahoo!

[LAUGHING]

Courage, did you fix the sun?
- Mm-hm.

Goad dog.

Who'd have thought the time-share
would be an Mars?

Nice of the general
to send us our house, though.

- Birds.
- Oh, my.

Halifax.

[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]

I have not yet begun to fight.

[LAUGHING]

EUSTACE:
Stupid dog!