02x13 - The Tower of Dr. Zalost

[bunniefuu]

We interrupt this program to bring you
Courage the Cowardly Dog Show.

Starring Courage the Cowardly Dog.

Abandoned as a pup...

...he was found by Muriel,
who lives in the middle of Nowhere...

-...with her husband, Eustace Bagge.
- Agh!

ANNOUNCER'.
But creepy stuff happens in Nowhere.

It's up to Courage to save his new home.

Stupid dog! You made me look bad.

[ALL YELLING]

[SINGING INDISTINCTLY]

[CLUCKING]

[SQUAWKS]

You already know my reputation.

I am Dr. Zalost,
the greatest unhappy scientist who ever lived.

And I want 33 and a third billion dollars...

...far my Unhappy Cannonball Project.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

If you don't fund my project,
I'll use your city as research.

And that will make the people very unhappy.

Big deal. They're already unhappy.

We just raised the taxes.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

The next time you try and bamboozle us,
you'll be thrown in the clink. Now, b*at it.

Foals.

I'll show them.

[LAUGHING]

We've been barn bamboozled.

That's correct, mayor.

If we don't pay up, we're next.

Okay, pay the madman.

[MURIEL HUMMING]

Oh, Courage, me secret recipe for happy plums
will make anything happy.

Ha, ha. Don't they smell delicious?

Put a little sour cream in each,
will you, Courage?

[WHIMPERS]

Paper. Where is my newspaper?

Agh, supposed to be here this morning.

[BUSY SIGNAL]

What kind of paper are they running? Agh!

Oh, don't worry, Eustace.
I'm sure it's an the way.

You'll feel better
after you've had some of my happy plums.

I don't want any happy plums.

I want my paper!

And there's nothing good
on television neither.

Oi!

Courage,
did you eat all of our happy plums?

[LAUGHING]

That's okay, Courage, there's plenty more.

My goodness,
I should put vinegar in all my recipes.

EUSTACE:
Muriel, came quick!

There's a special report an TV.

Earlier today, the city of Nowhere
fell under att*ck from an unknown tower.

But right now, I feel like going to bed.

So that's all the news for today.

[YAWN s]

Blah, blah, blah.

Who cares? I want my paper.

I'll just have to get it myself.

Eustace, it sounds awfully dangerous.

What about your happy plums?

Mm. Och.

[GROANS]

What's the good of having all the money
in the world if it doesn't bring any happiness?

And if I'm not happy,
no one deserves to be happy.

Rat. Rat. Came here, Rat.

Give me a hug.

It always calms me dawn.

[GROANS]

- Rat.
- Unh.

You call this a hug?

You're not even trying.

If you can't give me a real hug,
then get away from me.

Get out.

[TV BEEPING]

All right, Zalost, you have your money.

Now, return these miserable people of Nowhere
back to happy miserable people.

Tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow.

Or maybe never.

We had a deal, Zalost.

Well, the money didn't make me
feel any better.

And if I'm not feeling good, no one is.
So there.

Zalost, you-

Who does he think he is?

People are so selfish.

They only think of themselves. Ugh.

Came an, Ratty,
I'll give you another chance.

Haw about that hug? Mm?

[RAT GROANS]

Stupid dumb newspaper.

Na newspapers. Na newspapers.

Just a bunch of lazy monkeys.

Aah!

[GRUMBLES]

[HORN HONKS]

Get that pile of junk out of the way.

[HONKING]

Rat.

Who is that? You didn't miss one, did you?

You missed one.

There's a happy person.

EUSTACE:
Lousy, stinking hippies.

Well, if there's one happy person,
there's more than one.

And this time, I expect you ta get them.

All.

[ROARING]

[noon SLAMS]

Thank goodness you're back.

Did you get your paper?

Nope. Lazy monkeys don't make paper.

And some stupid kids parked their jeep
right in the middle of the road.

Haw lovely.

Would you like your happy plums now?

Courage, will you stop running around?

You're racking the house.

Huh?

[SCREAMS]

BOTH:
Och.

Eustace, look out.

What the--? Unh.

Eh? Lousy teenagers.

He must be immune to emotions.

Hit the round woman.

[SCREAMS]

[MOANS]

Muriel. Muriel. This is no time for a nap.

That's it.

I'm getting me mallet.

[SCREAMS]

[GRUMBLES]

I think we gut them. Ha-ha-ha.

New we can go back to bed and hug.

Ugh.

Well, let's have some of those happy plums.

[mes LING]

[SlGHS]

Here. She likes you best. Feed her.

[MIMICKING AIRPLANE ENGINE]

Choc, choc.

[MIMICKING TRAIN ENGINE]

Och.

[GROANING]

Oh, thank you, Courage.

[GASPS]

[BARKING]

- Looks like you got a plan.
-Mm-hm.

Just keep me out of it.

[DOORBELL RINGING]

Here's the pizza you've ordered.
Twenty bucks.

[GROANS]

Woo-hoo-hoo, whoopee!

That stupid dog was right.

That's the easiest 20 bucks I've ever made.

ZALOST:
Pizza? What pizza?

I didn't order any pizza.

Get away from me.

[SCREAMS]

[SCREAMS]

[ROARING]

My happy plums will make anything happy.

[CRYING]

Um?

[GROANING]

Welcome to the Tower of Dr. Zalost.

[LAUGHING]

I bet you thought you would come in here
and do something very heroic, right?

- Uh-huh.
- I'll tell you what.

I'll turn your grandmother back to normal
if you can guess what this four-letter word is...

...before the cannon goes off, okay?

Let's Play-

:5'.

Hmm. C'?

Ah! Na.

Sf?
-No.

R-

Na R.

- K.
- Oh, sorry, no K.

Would you like to buy a vowel?

Only 5 bucks each.

[GROANING]

A?

Na. Want to buy another one?

Q?

Oh, yeah.

That's 5 for the A and 10 for the two O's.

That makes 15.

[GRUMBLING]

What's the problem?

[CONTINUES GRUMBLING]

Will you shut up?

One O, 5 bucks.

Two O's, 10 bucks.

The vowels cast you 15 bucks.

Those are the rules.

New I suppose you'll want your change.

Oh, this is so embarrassing.
Are you really going to need it'?

Well, give me a moment.

Oh.

Here it is.

There you go.

[LAUGHING]

Boom'?

Agh! You cheated.

[SCREAMS]

Mm.

Why didn't you take the stairs?

It's much easier.

[LAUGHING]

[MOANING]

[LAUGHING]

MURIEL:
My happy plums will make anything happy.

Och! Unh.

[GROANING]

[SCREAMS]

Aah! Na. Na!

What have you dune?

Na!

Muriel, what about my dinner?

What-f?

Eh?

It's the end of the world. Aah!

[SINGING INDISTINCTLY]

'Fay!

[CLUCKING]

[SCREAMING]

[CRYING]

You stupid dog.

EUSTACE:
That's what I tell him all the time:

"You stupid dog. You stupid dog."

[LAUGHING]

Och! Unh!

Oh!

[LAUGHING]

Huh! I found me mallet.

Stupid dog.

[GROANING]

[CRYING]

Och.

Courage?

- Yay!
- What are we doing here?

Oh, my, Courage. Ha-ha-ha.

- Unh!
- Oh.

ZALOST:
What's this?

Plums.

My favorite.

[COUGHING]

[SCREAMING]

- Ooh.
-H a-h a-h a.

What is this?

I've never felt so happy.

It's my secret recipe for happy plums.

[CRYING]

Rat. Came here, Rat.

Give me a hug.

Courage, isn't that the coziest picture
you ever did see'?

[LAUGHING]

ZALOST'.
This is so embarrassing.

EUSTACE:
Stupid dog.