03x09 - Love Is a Croc

[bunniefuu]

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

Huh?

Hey!

- Oh!
- (BACKGROUND AUDIENCE LAUGHTER)

Baby, did you use the whole box
of bubble bath?

I didn't mean to.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHTER)

You sure this is the right hotel?

I don't remember the floor going uphill.

It's your head that's tilting, Harry.

- What now?
- The key.

It must have fell out
when the sidewalk hit me.

My husband lost our room key.
Fedders, .

I'll get you a duplicate.

HARRY: You used to be somebody,
didn't you? On TV?

Yeah. Yeah, you were Baby Doll.
You've got that disease.

It's a condition, not a disease.
I don't grow.

Right, right. So you went nuts
and tried to k*ll Batman.

Harry, that's enough.

Oh!

See? She's Baby Doll.

Come on, Baby, do something funny.
(CHUCKLES)

Aah!

(GRUNTS)

Sorry. I didn't mean to.

(GASPS)

Why don't they ever understand?

I'm not a baby. I'm not a child.
I'm just different.

Our Baby Doll marathon
will continue after--

(BACKGROUND HAMMER BANGING)

MALE JUDGE: Court will come to order.

Bring in the prisoner.

(GRUNTS)

Have you anything to say
before I pass judgment?

Yeah. I'm a victim of prejudice.

Look at me.

Nobody understands
how rough my life's been

just 'cause I'm different.

Nevertheless, it is the judgment
of this court that you, k*ller Croc,

are competent to stand trial
for m*rder in the first degree.

- Court is adjourned.
- k*ller CROC: Competent?

That's an insult, you old bag of gas.
I'm not just competent.

(GROANS)

I'm as good as it gets.

(CROWD GASPS)

(BACKGROUND CROWD CHATTER)

(EFFORT GRUNTING)

(CONTINUED GRUNTING)

(GROANS)

(GROWLING)

Go! Go!

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(ROARS)

(CRUNCHING)

(GRUNTING)

- Served him right.
- I'm not afraid now.

- Okay.
- (GROANS)

Monster. Look at that face.

- Lock him up and throw away the key.
- Monster.

(SCOFFS)

Hey, Croc. You got a visitor.

- Get lost.
- I brought you something.

They told me you like chicken.

(GOBBLES)

What do you want?

I heard what you said to the judge.

I want you to know that I understand

about being different.

You've never let the way you look
undermine your self-confidence.

I admire that.

I feel somehow
that we're kindred spirits.

Too bad we didn't meet sooner, babe.

They're sending me
up the river tomorrow night.

- My number's up.
- Don't lose hope.

Maybe fate will take a hand.

How's everything back
in the luggage compartment?

This alligator bag's not going anywhere.

(GASPS)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(GIRL GIGGLES)

(GRUNTING)

Hey, kid, what are you doing?

You almost got us all k*lled.

I didn't mean to.

(GROANS)

- (CROC GRUNTS)
- (BABY DOLL GIGGLES)

Hugs. Now Baby Doll
and precious be together forever.

Hey, babe, I'm home.

(INHALES) Crocky-Wockle.

(KISSING)

Where have you been?
Baby miss her precious so much.

All right, all right,
enough of the mushy stuff.

I went out to get our reviews.

Ooh! Bonnie and Clyde.
How romantic.

That's nothing, Doll.
Even the out-of-town rags like us.

We got the whole city panicked.
I love it.

Where is Crockle going?

Don't worry. I'll be back for dinner.

No! Baby wanna come! Baby wanna go!

(GRUNTS)

Don't go, precious.
We could plan our next job.

It's gonna be a whole bunch of fun.

That's your territory, Doll.
I got things to do.

You sure about this?

So far all their robberies
have been near water.

Baby Doll's playing
towards her man's strength.

What do you suppose they do on a date?

I don't want to think about it.

(SHIP HORNS BLARING)

(INDISTINCT COINS JINGLING)

I'm sorry, honey.
Children aren't allowed in the casino.

I'm not a children. I'm all growed up.

No! Bad lady. Bad lady. Let me go!

(GASPS)

(GROANS)

You there, stop!

(BEEPING)

(POLICEWOMAN GASPS)

Hey, what's going on?

(ALL COUGHING)

I can't breathe!

Somebody do something!

(BABY DOLL GIGGLES)

(PASSENGERS SCREAMING)

There's our fun couple.

(PANTING)

Whee! (GIGGLES)

Faster, horsey. Faster.

No.

Hide-and-seek time, Crocky.

(GROANS LOUDLY)

(GROWLS)

(CRASHING)

- Forget the loot.
- No way I'm leaving without the goods.

(GRUNTING)

(GROANS)

(BLOWS RASPBERRY)

Serves you right, you mean old Bats.

Come on.

Wait for Baby.

(GRUNTS)

- They're getting away.
- I'm fine, thanks.

- Where'd they go?
- Home.

(k*ller CROC GROANS)

Blast the bat.

This could have been a big one,
and he had to show up.

Don't be sad, precious.
Baby already gots a new plan.

Yeah? Well, so do I.

And step one
is getting out of here for a while.

Wait.

Don't leave your Baby again.

- Baby sad too.
- I'm not in the mood.

- (GROANS)
- (CRIES OUT)

But Baby loves...

Precious.

(BELL DINGING)

(CHUCKLES) You're in the chips, Croc?

Yeah, I'm heading for the big time.
And I mean solo.

Oh? What about the little woman?

Couple more jobs and I ditch
the Kewpie doll and blow this burg.

(GIGGLES)

(SNORING)

Wakey, wakey!

(GRUNTS)

What? What's wrong?

Baby wants to apologize
for treating Crocky so mean.

You do?

Mmm-hmm.

Crocky can go out whenever he wants
'cause Baby loves him so much.

(KISSING)

Yeah, yeah, enough of that.

In fact, Baby has a new plan
to make us bazillions of dollars.

Yeah? This the big one?

The bestest.

Gonna keep Baby
and precious warm forever and ever.

Two days of this.

I'm never gonna get
the smell out of my costume.

Or my nose, for that matter.

It's better than sitting
around the cave,

waiting for their next move.

Ugh!

Speak for yourself.

Do you believe this?
Suzy Homemaker of the sewers.

What is it?

BATMAN: The nuclear power plant
on Mid River Island.

Naughty, naughty.

Somebody came
into our house without permission.

(BEEPING)

(GASPS)

Ordinarily, I don't approve of spanking.

- But in her case...
- You'll get your chance. Come on.

What's black and white
and radioactive for , years?

What?

(GIGGLES)

Gotham City. After the big boom, silly.

So now what? We call the cops
and demand a payoff, right?

No, we don't do anything.

What? What are you saying?

The Kewpie doll knows all about

your little excursions
down to the docks.

I won't let you betray me again.

When the reactor reaches critical mass

you and I will die together
and take all of Gotham with us.

Argh!

(BEEPING)

Are you nuts? Shut this thing down. Now!

(GRUNTS)

You do it. You know, solo.

(SCREECHING)

She's crazy.
She's gonna nuke the whole--

Can you stop it?

In a minute,
you'll either know or won't care.

(GROWLS)

I think I've got it.

(SIGHS)

Stay with the reactor. I'll handle Croc.

(GASPS)

(GROANS)

(SCREAMS)

Okay, Baby.
Now we'll play my kind of game.

(SCREAMS)

Lousy little backstabbing--

(GROANS)

Croc, don't!

You shouldn't have done it, Crocky.

You shouldn't have made Baby angry.

We could have been so happy
and lived happily ever after,

just like on TV.

(SOBBING)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)